E30 - Matthew McConaughey: Looking for life’s green lights

Our guest this week needs little introduction. He is one of Hollywood’s most sought after leading men, who launched his career in the cult classic Dazed and Confused and has since then has won an Academy Award for his portrayal of Ron Woodroof in Dallas Buyers Club and appeared in more than 40 feature films.

Matthew McConaughey is an actor producer, director, philanthropist and best selling author of ‘Greenlights’. Matthew graces the show to talk us through his life lessons, anecdotes and wisdom.

His book 'Greenlights' is out now. We loved it and know fans of this pod will too.

Thanks to our sponsors Lotus Cars. Remember, you can get extended episodes of the podcast on our YouTube channel bit.ly/HPPYouTube and follow us on Instagram @highperformance.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

### Introduction

* Matthew McConaughey, an acclaimed actor, producer, director, philanthropist, and author, graces the show to share his life lessons, anecdotes, and wisdom from his best-selling book, 'Greenlights.'

### Key Points

1. **The Pursuit of Yetness:**

- We should strive for continuous growth and improvement, recognizing that there is always more to learn and achieve.
- Instead of chasing a final destination, we should embrace the journey and the process of becoming better.

2. **The Power of Commitment:**

- Committing fully to our choices and actions gives us clarity, purpose, and courage to explore new opportunities.
- It helps us stay anchored and focused amidst distractions and uncertainties.

3. **Balancing Passions and Responsibilities:**

- Finding a harmonious balance between personal passions and professional responsibilities is crucial for overall well-being.
- Having a strong support system can help navigate the challenges of pursuing ambitious goals while maintaining important relationships.

4. **Embracing Failure and Setbacks:**

- Failures and setbacks are inevitable parts of life and should be embraced as learning opportunities.
- They can lead to valuable insights, resilience, and a deeper appreciation for success.

5. **The Importance of Self-Awareness:**

- Understanding our strengths, weaknesses, and values is essential for making informed choices and living a fulfilling life.
- Self-awareness allows us to align our actions with our true selves and pursue meaningful goals.

6. **The Value of Intrinsic Motivation:**

- Finding activities and pursuits that genuinely interest and excite us is crucial for long-term motivation and satisfaction.
- Intrinsic motivation leads to a sense of fulfillment and purpose, driving us to excel and achieve our goals.

7. **The Art of Saying No:**

- Learning to say no to opportunities that don't align with our values, goals, or priorities is essential for preserving our energy and focus.
- Saying no allows us to prioritize what truly matters and avoid distractions.

8. **The Power of Gratitude:**

- Practicing gratitude for the positive aspects of our lives cultivates a sense of contentment and appreciation.
- Gratitude helps us recognize the abundance around us and fosters positive emotions.

9. **The Importance of Relationships:**

- Nurturing strong relationships with loved ones, friends, and colleagues is vital for our emotional well-being and overall happiness.
- Supportive relationships provide a foundation of love, encouragement, and resilience.

10. **Living in the Present Moment:**

- Focusing on the present moment allows us to appreciate the beauty and simplicity of life.
- It helps us avoid dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, leading to a more peaceful and fulfilling existence.

**Navigating Life's Uncertainties with Matthew McConaughey**

**Introduction**

Matthew McConaughey, renowned actor, producer, director, and author, graces the podcast to share his life lessons, anecdotes, and wisdom. His book, 'Greenlights', offers valuable insights into his journey and provides guidance for navigating life's uncertainties.

**Key Themes**

1. **Embracing Uncertainty:**

- McConaughey emphasizes the importance of accepting uncertainty and viewing it as an opportunity for growth and learning.
- He encourages listeners to embrace the unknown and step out of their comfort zones to discover new possibilities.

2. **Measuring Risks:**

- McConaughey suggests a practical approach to decision-making by measuring the potential outcomes of taking a risk or choosing a path.
- He recommends committing to both yes and no options to gain a clearer understanding of the potential consequences.

3. **Regular Self-Reflection:**

- McConaughey highlights the benefits of regular self-reflection to assess progress and make necessary adjustments.
- He encourages listeners to check in with themselves throughout the day and reflect on their actions and emotions.

4. **Learning from Success and Failure:**

- McConaughey emphasizes the importance of learning from both successes and failures.
- He believes that dissecting successes can provide valuable insights into what works and what doesn't, while failures offer opportunities for growth and resilience.

5. **Preparation and Flexibility:**

- McConaughey stresses the significance of thorough preparation to build confidence and freedom in performance.
- He advocates for flexibility and adaptability to seize opportunities and navigate unexpected changes.

6. **Recognizing Red and Yellow Lights:**

- McConaughey discusses the concept of red and yellow lights as signals to pause and consider the path forward.
- He encourages listeners to recognize these moments as opportunities to learn and make informed decisions.

7. **Building Resilience:**

- McConaughey shares his mother's teachings on resilience and the importance of getting up after setbacks.
- He emphasizes the need to learn from challenges and turn them into opportunities for growth.

8. **Choosing the Right People:**

- McConaughey highlights the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive and positive individuals.
- He emphasizes the value of trust, authenticity, and shared values in relationships.

9. **Asking Big Questions:**

- McConaughey encourages listeners to ask existential questions about life, purpose, and significance.
- He believes that these inquiries can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and the world around us.

10. **Pursuing Continuous Improvement:**

- McConaughey emphasizes the importance of setting small, achievable goals for personal growth and development.
- He believes that consistent effort and dedication lead to gradual progress and a more fulfilling life.

11. **The Illusion of Arrival:**

- McConaughey dispels the notion of a final destination or a "ta-da" moment in life.
- He encourages listeners to embrace the journey itself and find joy in the pursuit of growth and evolution.

12. **Validation and Translation:**

- McConaughey reflects on receiving the Academy Award, viewing it as a form of validation from his peers.
- He emphasizes the significance of translating one's art or craft in a way that resonates with others.

13. **Challenging Limitations:**

- McConaughey encourages listeners to push beyond self-imposed limitations and strive for greatness.
- He believes that we often underestimate our potential and capabilities.

**Conclusion**

Matthew McConaughey's insights offer a thought-provoking exploration of life's uncertainties and the importance of embracing challenges, learning from experiences, and pursuing continuous growth. His message resonates with listeners, inspiring them to navigate their own journeys with resilience, authenticity, and a relentless pursuit of self-improvement.

# High Performance Podcast: Matthew McConaughey

**Summary**

In this episode of the High Performance Podcast, Damien Hughes and Jake Humphrey interview actor, producer, director, philanthropist, and author Matthew McConaughey. They discuss his life lessons, anecdotes, and wisdom from his book, "Greenlights."

**Key Points**

* **Dream Big and Set Aspirations:** McConaughey believes in setting big goals and taking risks to achieve them. He emphasizes the importance of dreaming and visualizing success.


* **Embrace the Journey:** McConaughey stresses that the journey to success is often more valuable than the destination itself. He encourages listeners to enjoy the process and learn from both successes and failures.


* **Take Road Trips:** McConaughey finds road trips to be an excellent way to explore new places, meet interesting people, and gain new perspectives. He believes that being in motion opens up creative thinking.


* **Be a Good Parent:** McConaughey emphasizes the importance of being a good parent and raising children with strong values. He believes in setting boundaries, teaching resilience, and allowing children to make mistakes.


* **Manage Financial Success Wisely:** McConaughey discusses the challenges of raising children with affluence. He stresses the importance of teaching children about the value of work and not taking their privileges for granted.


* **Non-Negotiable Behaviors:** McConaughey shares his three non-negotiable behaviors that people around him must buy into: don't lie, don't say "can't," and don't say "hey."


* **Advice to Young People:** McConaughey advises young people to enjoy their youth and not worry about getting older. He encourages them to focus on the present and make the most of every moment.


* **Legacy:** McConaughey believes that legacy is increasingly important. He wants to leave a positive impact on the world through his work and his foundation.


* **Golden Rule:** McConaughey shares his interpretation of the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as they would have you do unto them." He acknowledges that not everyone wants the same things, so it's important to consider others' perspectives.


* **One Golden Rule for Living a High-Performance Life:** McConaughey's golden rule for living a high-performance life is to keep living. He believes that the alternative is not worth considering.

**Memorable Quotes**

* "The only thing I ever knew I wanted to be was a father." - Matthew McConaughey


* "I wanted to be autonomous and self-thinkers at the same time, I don't like poorly behaved kids. And we don't allow that." - Matthew McConaughey


* "Happiness is to me is a bit of one of those result-oriented destinations that I think we kind of falsely pursue as a place." - Matthew McConaughey


* "Joy is more of like, no, it's the art of doing what you're fashioned to do in a way that it's got reciprocity to it." - Matthew McConaughey


* "You can keep that garden. Can you continue to tend, you can hand it down to other gardeners, proverbial gardeners of that thing to tend it after you are gone and they will want to, and can it build, maybe it doesn't fade off after you fade away." - Matthew McConaughey


* "Well, look, the easiest one is this just keep living. All right. The alternative sucks." - Matthew McConaughey


* "It's another one my mother's big on the golden rule do unto others you would have them do unto you. I found a loophole in that too. Mom, not everybody wants to do what you want to do." - Matthew McConaughey

**Overall Message**

Matthew McConaughey's message is one of positivity, resilience, and perseverance. He encourages listeners to dream big, take risks, and embrace the journey to success. He also emphasizes the importance of family, values, and leaving a positive legacy.

# Matthew McConaughey: Lessons from the Hollywood A-Lister

**Introduction:**

This episode features Matthew McConaughey, the Academy Award-winning actor, producer, director, philanthropist, and author. He shares his life lessons, anecdotes, and wisdom, offering valuable insights into personal growth and resilience.

**Patience and Resilience:**

- McConaughey emphasizes the importance of practicing patience and resilience in everyday life.
- He believes that how we react to minor inconveniences and setbacks defines us as much as how we handle major life challenges.
- Small acts of patience and resilience prepare us for bigger challenges.

**The Power of Preparation:**

- McConaughey stresses the significance of preparation in achieving success.
- He draws a parallel between practicing patience and resilience in small moments and preparing for big moments in life.
- Just as athletes train and practice to perform at their best, we should practice patience and resilience to handle life's curveballs.

**Descent to the Level of Practice:**

- McConaughey shares a saying from elite environments: "When you come under pressure, you don't rise to the performance; you descend to the level where you spend most of your time."
- He emphasizes the importance of practicing patience and resilience consistently to develop the skills needed to handle pressure effectively.

**Learning from Mistakes:**

- McConaughey believes that mistakes are opportunities for growth and learning.
- He encourages embracing mistakes and learning from them rather than dwelling on them or letting them define us.
- Mistakes can teach us valuable lessons and help us become better versions of ourselves.

**Conclusion:**

Matthew McConaughey's appearance on the podcast offers a wealth of wisdom and insights on personal growth, resilience, and the importance of preparation and learning from mistakes. His anecdotes and life lessons provide valuable takeaways for listeners seeking to improve their own performance and well-being.

[00:00.000 -> 00:05.160] Hi there, welcome along to another week of the High Performance Podcast.
[00:05.160 -> 00:10.860] All we ask is that once a week you give us an hour or so and in return for free we will
[00:10.860 -> 00:14.260] hopefully deliver some inspiration direct to you.
[00:14.260 -> 00:18.300] Just a quick reminder that we would love it if you would also check us out on YouTube.
[00:18.300 -> 00:22.980] Just type in High Performance Podcast, hit subscribe, hit the notification bell and you
[00:22.980 -> 00:26.680] can actually watch the interviews that you've listened to here on the podcast.
[00:26.680 -> 00:28.720] It's well worth doing, and we'd love you to do that.
[00:28.720 -> 00:32.160] You can find us as well on Instagram at High Performance,
[00:32.160 -> 00:37.120] and this is what you can expect from this episode.
[00:37.120 -> 00:40.320] I think we're all chasing yet.
[00:40.320 -> 00:43.080] And if we realize that we never are going to arrive,
[00:43.080 -> 00:45.000] that's the point.
[00:45.000 -> 00:46.360] There is no yet.
[00:46.360 -> 00:47.680] It's always yet.
[00:48.640 -> 00:52.800] And then if we can go, ah, life's a verb.
[00:52.800 -> 00:54.360] It's the process.
[00:54.360 -> 00:56.200] Shit, that's as good as it gets.
[00:56.200 -> 00:57.320] All right, I'm in.
[00:57.320 -> 00:59.880] Oh, we are so excited about our guest today.
[00:59.880 -> 01:03.360] I can't tell you what an amazing guy he was to speak to.
[01:03.360 -> 01:04.520] So get yourselves ready
[01:04.520 -> 01:09.700] for this week's high-performance podcast.
[01:11.140 -> 01:15.100] On our podcast we love to highlight businesses that are doing things a
[01:15.100 -> 01:19.620] better way so you can live a better life and that's why when I found Mint Mobile
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[02:40.200 -> 02:47.200] month at mintmobile.com slashhpp. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for
[02:47.200 -> 02:52.320] details. Hi there, I'm Jay Comfrey and you're listening to High Performance, the podcast that
[02:52.320 -> 02:56.800] delves into the minds of some of the most successful athletes, visionaries, entrepreneurs
[02:56.800 -> 03:01.600] and artists on the planet and aims to unlock the secrets to their high performance life.
[03:01.600 -> 03:05.120] And you can't do a job like this on your own. Professor Damien Hughes,
[03:05.120 -> 03:09.120] expert in high achieving sporting cultures is alongside me.
[03:09.120 -> 03:10.960] And Damien, we're about to have a conversation
[03:10.960 -> 03:14.040] with a man who's not only achieved great things
[03:14.040 -> 03:16.520] along the way, he's clearly been a great learner.
[03:16.520 -> 03:18.400] And as we've learned from his new book,
[03:18.400 -> 03:19.920] he's also a generous learner.
[03:19.920 -> 03:20.800] Very much, Jake.
[03:20.800 -> 03:22.920] I think what I'm excited about this is,
[03:22.920 -> 03:28.080] this is a guest that we're going to interview that's written a book packed with common sense but he tells
[03:28.080 -> 03:31.880] you about how to translate it into common practice and that's a rare gift
[03:31.880 -> 03:35.960] and I'm really excited to explore that. Great let's do it then. A few days ago
[03:35.960 -> 03:41.480] Damien and I ordered the book Green Lights which arrived and I
[03:41.480 -> 03:45.060] obviously had high hopes as did Damien, but this book exceeded them.
[03:45.060 -> 03:46.800] If you haven't already gone out and bought this
[03:46.800 -> 03:48.640] for Christmas, it's engaging, it's honest,
[03:48.640 -> 03:51.140] it's to the point, but most importantly,
[03:51.140 -> 03:54.440] it's full of takeaways that are genuinely translatable
[03:54.440 -> 03:55.360] to our own lives.
[03:55.360 -> 03:58.100] So how does one of the planet's greatest acting talents,
[03:58.100 -> 04:00.800] an Oscar winner no less, have learnings
[04:00.800 -> 04:01.880] for your life and mine?
[04:01.880 -> 04:03.480] Well, you're about to find out.
[04:03.480 -> 04:06.820] So welcome to the High Performance Podcast, Matthew McConaughey.
[04:06.820 -> 04:11.460] Good to be here. Thank you for that introduction. Jeez, I could listen to y'all for a while.
[04:11.460 -> 04:16.900] That word translate as an artist, that's, that's, that's what I'm, that's what I'm hoping
[04:16.900 -> 04:21.120] for. It's what I'm going for. You know what I mean? It's like the difference between self-expression
[04:21.120 -> 04:25.480] and art. All art is a form of self-expression, but all self-expression is not art.
[04:25.480 -> 04:28.800] But if self-expression can become art and it's translatable,
[04:29.880 -> 04:34.200] then that's my biggest compliment to any work that I do.
[04:34.200 -> 04:36.440] And my biggest compliment to anybody who puts work out
[04:36.440 -> 04:37.560] in any art form that I go,
[04:37.560 -> 04:39.440] oh, it translated to me.
[04:39.440 -> 04:40.580] Thank you.
[04:40.580 -> 04:42.460] So who did you write this book for then?
[04:42.460 -> 04:44.960] Because it definitely does translate.
[04:44.960 -> 04:45.040] And I was wondering whether it was kind of written as something to leave the children. So who did you write this book for then? Because it definitely does translate and
[04:45.040 -> 04:48.640] I was wondering whether it was kind of written as something to leave the children.
[04:48.640 -> 04:55.120] No, I mean, they're not ready for it yet. I mean, they're 12, 10 and 7. If they read this book now,
[04:55.120 -> 04:59.080] they'd have a whole lot of questions for Popeye that Popeye would need a long time to answer.
[04:59.080 -> 05:09.040] So man, I got to be, I mean, I wrote it for me. And you know, you asked that question and it makes me realize that this is a theory
[05:09.040 -> 05:11.920] that you guys proposed indirectly
[05:11.920 -> 05:13.840] in your introduction to me.
[05:13.840 -> 05:15.760] It's a theory that I think lines its way
[05:15.760 -> 05:16.600] throughout the book.
[05:16.600 -> 05:21.600] It's a theory that I'm even crystallizing more
[05:22.560 -> 05:25.320] in talking about the book and even my future thoughts,
[05:25.320 -> 05:29.480] which is the more personal we get,
[05:29.480 -> 05:30.960] the more relatable we can be.
[05:30.960 -> 05:33.040] The more selfish we actually get,
[05:33.040 -> 05:34.800] if we actually go after true selfishness,
[05:34.800 -> 05:36.640] I'm into redefining this word,
[05:36.640 -> 05:37.560] the more selfish we get,
[05:37.560 -> 05:40.400] the actually more selfless it can be.
[05:40.400 -> 05:41.840] These contradictory things of,
[05:41.840 -> 05:43.600] no, I did it for me, so it's not for you.
[05:43.600 -> 05:46.920] Well, actually, no, if I'm really focused on the subjective I,
[05:46.920 -> 05:48.320] I noticed in the writing of this book,
[05:48.320 -> 05:49.360] that's when I noticed, I was like,
[05:49.360 -> 05:52.160] boy, the deeper you're going into the I, Matthew,
[05:52.160 -> 05:55.160] the more it appears to be relatable to the we.
[05:55.160 -> 05:57.360] We always negatively think about selfishness.
[05:57.360 -> 06:00.320] You mean kind of to be selfish for positive reasons.
[06:00.320 -> 06:01.880] Well, I think the true meaning of selfish
[06:01.880 -> 06:02.960] is absolutely positive,
[06:02.960 -> 06:04.600] because I think we all, we don't like to admit it,
[06:04.600 -> 06:10.140] but we all know it. We don't do jack unless it's personal.
[06:10.140 -> 06:15.020] It's got to be personal and it should be personal. Now we contradict that and say, oh, selfish
[06:15.020 -> 06:21.640] is bad. Oh, tame your ego. And I don't I don't think that's the purchase. I think it's no,
[06:21.640 -> 06:26.140] these two are not contradictory. There is a place where we can marry
[06:26.140 -> 06:29.340] in what we want being what we need.
[06:29.340 -> 06:32.120] We can marry what's good for me is good for we.
[06:32.120 -> 06:34.720] What's good for we is good for me.
[06:34.720 -> 06:38.860] We can marry the responsibility and freedom.
[06:38.860 -> 06:41.460] Those things that are seen as like, you know,
[06:41.460 -> 06:44.060] once, you know, talk about responsibility and fate.
[06:44.060 -> 06:46.540] Those two can be married in ways.
[06:46.540 -> 06:49.380] And I think to see these things as paradoxes
[06:49.380 -> 06:53.220] and marriages of that would be truly selfish,
[06:53.220 -> 06:55.320] meaning, if I'm going to lie, cheat, and steal from you two
[06:55.320 -> 06:56.880] right now, all right, I got away with it,
[06:56.880 -> 06:59.360] I got your wallet,
[06:59.360 -> 07:01.760] you'd say that was selfish of me, right?
[07:01.760 -> 07:04.520] But then I'm going to London next week,
[07:04.520 -> 07:06.840] and you guys are there, I'm in your neighborhood,
[07:06.840 -> 07:08.820] everywhere I'm going, I'm looking over my shoulder,
[07:08.820 -> 07:10.540] I'm going, geez, I hope you're not around, man,
[07:10.540 -> 07:12.520] geez, I gotta watch my back.
[07:12.520 -> 07:17.040] So I've now, by lying, cheating, and stealing yesterday,
[07:17.040 -> 07:21.180] I purchased some of my time in the future.
[07:21.180 -> 07:22.560] So now I've got more stress.
[07:22.560 -> 07:24.640] Now I'm not present because I've gotta worry
[07:24.640 -> 07:30.920] about crumbs I left in my rear view mirror via the stealing of your proverbial wallet. So what
[07:30.920 -> 07:37.480] was really a more selfish act? I would say it was less selfish to actually steal from
[07:37.480 -> 07:42.200] you because I just bought myself yellow lights in the future. I just bought myself red lights
[07:42.200 -> 07:50.000] in my future. I didn't buy green lights. I'm not bidding by my time. I bought my time having to worry about something I did in my past.
[07:50.000 -> 07:54.040] That's that's stress. That's not that's not that's not selfish. Be much more selfish,
[07:54.040 -> 07:57.400] I believe to go ahead and say, Hey, man, I found your wallet.
[07:57.400 -> 08:03.120] So Matthew, that's quite a quite a profound realization that you've come to. When did
[08:03.120 -> 08:06.420] when did that start to emerge as a truth for you?
[08:06.420 -> 08:07.880] Well, it's still emerging.
[08:10.200 -> 08:11.340] Look, I'm always trying to measure.
[08:11.340 -> 08:14.700] I've always, always been interested in the long view.
[08:16.000 -> 08:17.620] I've got kids, you got kids?
[08:17.620 -> 08:18.540] Yeah.
[08:18.540 -> 08:20.180] Delayed gratification, man.
[08:20.180 -> 08:22.780] Tough one to teach, but boy, one they need to know.
[08:23.780 -> 08:26.980] So also in parenting, my kids has helped. Talk to them about, hey, but, boy, one they need to know, you know? So, also, in parenting, my kids has helped.
[08:26.980 -> 08:28.780] Talked to them about, hey, you got home.
[08:28.780 -> 08:30.720] You got homework on Friday.
[08:30.720 -> 08:31.980] You don't have school till Monday.
[08:31.980 -> 08:33.020] You got an hour of homework.
[08:33.020 -> 08:34.980] Hey, you got two hours of school on Friday afternoon.
[08:34.980 -> 08:37.280] You want to do it right now so you can have Sunday night free?
[08:37.280 -> 08:38.920] No, I want to save it.
[08:38.920 -> 08:40.320] All right, well, we might be playing footy
[08:40.320 -> 08:41.420] in the backyard Sunday,
[08:41.420 -> 08:42.860] and you're going to have to leave the game.
[08:42.860 -> 08:44.260] No, no, I'll chance it.
[08:44.260 -> 08:46.000] Come Sunday, you're out there playing around the backyard,
[08:46.000 -> 08:47.000] you got to go do your homework.
[08:47.000 -> 08:49.000] Oh, no, I wish I'd have done it.
[08:49.000 -> 08:51.000] Yeah, if you'd have just nipped it in the bud Friday,
[08:51.000 -> 08:53.000] you'd have had Sunday free, you'd have bought yourself
[08:53.000 -> 08:54.000] a green light.
[08:54.000 -> 08:56.000] I'm always trying to say, so how far down the line
[08:56.000 -> 08:57.000] can we think?
[08:57.000 -> 08:59.000] It's tough.
[08:59.000 -> 09:01.000] You know, a kid doesn't project till tomorrow.
[09:01.000 -> 09:03.000] A kid doesn't even project an hour ahead sometimes,
[09:03.000 -> 09:11.120] a minute ahead. But as we grow up, how far can we project? We make choices, we know we make certain choices today
[09:11.120 -> 09:16.960] for ourselves, we're responsible to the things that we want to get, that we know engineering
[09:16.960 -> 09:21.360] wise will tee up a better percentage of succeeding getting what we want tomorrow.
[09:22.080 -> 09:26.480] Well how far off can we think? We think next week, next year, five years from now,
[09:26.480 -> 09:27.960] 10 years from now, can you think all the way
[09:27.960 -> 09:28.880] to your eulogy?
[09:30.040 -> 09:31.360] You know, and think back.
[09:31.360 -> 09:33.840] So I've always just been, I've always been entertained
[09:33.840 -> 09:35.940] by that thought of, okay, not only let me think
[09:35.940 -> 09:38.680] about the subjective I selfish thing I want now,
[09:38.680 -> 09:40.800] let me go be the eye in the sky of the subjective
[09:40.800 -> 09:44.080] third person, royal we, and have a look back and go,
[09:46.160 -> 09:47.800] what's this look like?
[09:47.800 -> 09:50.320] What's this choice gonna look like down the line?
[09:50.320 -> 09:51.160] Am I gonna live it,
[09:51.160 -> 09:53.400] can I live in a way now that I can look forward
[09:53.400 -> 09:54.800] to looking back?
[09:54.800 -> 09:57.280] That's true, I like asking myself that,
[09:57.280 -> 09:58.640] that question, I always have.
[09:58.640 -> 10:01.280] But to have this, you need incredible discipline.
[10:01.280 -> 10:03.760] There's loads of stories in the book about discipline.
[10:03.760 -> 10:05.200] Obviously, people know the story
[10:05.200 -> 10:09.680] about the incredible weight that you lost for the Dallas Buyers Club, yet in the evening, I still
[10:09.680 -> 10:14.480] find that I don't want to eat Pringles, but I do. So for people listening to this who struggle for
[10:14.480 -> 10:20.080] discipline, what is your advice for sticking to those personal protocols? How come you don't have
[10:20.080 -> 10:24.560] a voice, or maybe you do in your brain going, no, don't bother, just have another cheeseburger,
[10:24.560 -> 10:25.120] Matthew, deal with that weight tomorrow. Right, right, don't bother, just have another cheeseburger, Matthew,
[10:25.120 -> 10:26.800] deal with that, wait till tomorrow.
[10:26.800 -> 10:31.120] Well, okay, like in that case, so I didn't do my job,
[10:31.120 -> 10:33.200] therefore I am embarrassed.
[10:33.200 -> 10:37.280] So the fear and dislike of being embarrassed
[10:38.720 -> 10:41.440] is up there pretty much the top
[10:41.440 -> 10:43.480] for reasons to stay disciplined for me.
[10:44.880 -> 10:47.380] I have to, you know, again,
[10:47.380 -> 10:49.580] we're gonna bring up delayed gratification.
[10:49.580 -> 10:53.240] Go in, now you know what, there's something to actually
[10:53.240 -> 10:54.980] this sacrifice is nice right now.
[10:54.980 -> 10:56.980] And I'm glad, ooh, this is supposed to be hard.
[10:56.980 -> 10:58.960] But you start, if you stick with it,
[10:58.960 -> 10:59.780] the longer you stick with it,
[10:59.780 -> 11:02.320] you start to get kind of a sort of honor and pride with it.
[11:02.320 -> 11:05.880] And it becomes easier because you're like, you know, and I even,
[11:05.880 -> 11:07.720] in losing, when I lost to the Olympic Dallas Firedogs,
[11:07.720 -> 11:09.840] I became kind of arrogant to the family.
[11:09.840 -> 11:11.920] I'd be like, oh, y'all going out to eat pizza, huh?
[11:11.920 -> 11:13.720] Ha, shlups.
[11:13.720 -> 11:17.120] You know, I was laughing at myself,
[11:17.120 -> 11:20.300] and I was like, almost like my king on my own island,
[11:20.300 -> 11:22.120] like, but look at me, I'm being so disciplined.
[11:22.120 -> 11:23.960] You know, my wife would give me hell about it,
[11:23.960 -> 11:28.920] but we had fun with it, but it became, and I'll say this, man,
[11:28.920 -> 11:33.160] it's really, you gotta commit to the original choice.
[11:33.160 -> 11:35.080] Hardest part about working out is what?
[11:35.080 -> 11:37.880] Putting on your damn shoes and getting out the door.
[11:37.880 -> 11:41.000] Hardest part is making the decision and when to make it.
[11:41.000 -> 11:42.880] And if you initially sit out and go,
[11:42.880 -> 11:44.680] this is not negotiable.
[11:44.680 -> 11:46.800] And I know I'm going to go down the line
[11:46.800 -> 11:48.080] and it's going to get a little wobbly
[11:48.080 -> 11:50.280] and I'm going to try to argue myself out of this.
[11:50.280 -> 11:51.160] Don't listen to that voice.
[11:51.160 -> 11:53.840] It's very clear this is what we're doing.
[11:53.840 -> 11:56.160] Lock, you lock in on that initial.
[11:56.160 -> 11:58.560] Then the rest is pretty damn easy
[11:58.560 -> 11:59.880] because you're not negotiating.
[11:59.880 -> 12:02.000] It's in negotiating with ourselves.
[12:02.000 -> 12:03.560] That's the fatigue.
[12:03.560 -> 12:04.560] That's the stress.
[12:04.560 -> 12:06.660] That's the, well, I can't stand it.
[12:06.660 -> 12:08.960] No, you can stand it if you go,
[12:08.960 -> 12:10.520] I don't have another choice.
[12:10.520 -> 12:13.760] I'm not giving myself another option, period.
[12:13.760 -> 12:16.800] Then it's like, okay, survival mechanism kicks in.
[12:16.800 -> 12:17.880] Let's go.
[12:17.880 -> 12:18.720] What do you know?
[12:18.720 -> 12:20.600] See, there's a really powerful theme
[12:20.600 -> 12:22.480] that you're articulating there, Matthew,
[12:22.480 -> 12:24.380] but again, that comes out in the book
[12:24.380 -> 12:29.760] about that phrase you've just used there, commitment. You told that story about when you were at law school
[12:29.760 -> 12:35.440] and you phoned your dad for permission to pursue a career in Hollywood and his answer was if you're
[12:35.440 -> 12:41.680] going to do it, commit completely. Would you explain for our listeners the power of commitment
[12:41.680 -> 12:47.000] and what that subsequently gives you? I want to give you clarity, but look, let's start off by this.
[12:47.000 -> 12:50.000] Man, it's hard.
[12:50.000 -> 12:53.000] I would say, I think it's fair to say, especially today,
[12:53.000 -> 12:57.000] with so much information, trying to decipher what's real,
[12:57.000 -> 13:00.000] what's not, what's actual, what's true.
[13:00.000 -> 13:03.000] It's hard to know what the hell to commit to, man.
[13:03.000 -> 13:04.000] I mean, it's not.
[13:04.000 -> 13:05.500] Things are, to find those things in our life
[13:05.500 -> 13:07.000] and choices we can make that we go,
[13:07.000 -> 13:08.000] no, this is black or white.
[13:08.000 -> 13:09.500] This is what I stand for.
[13:09.500 -> 13:11.000] This is what I stand against.
[13:11.000 -> 13:15.000] It's tough because as we grow older, we get,
[13:15.000 -> 13:16.500] we have empathy, we have understanding,
[13:16.500 -> 13:18.000] we have compassion, maybe for ourselves.
[13:18.000 -> 13:20.000] We can go, well, I want to hear the other side of the story.
[13:20.000 -> 13:22.500] Well, I can entertain, I can work too.
[13:22.500 -> 13:31.400] And I think if you get past going, ah, now I'm adrift in the shades of gray.
[13:31.400 -> 13:36.920] I'm adrift in a form of moderate compromise, so I really don't know what I stand for or
[13:36.920 -> 13:37.920] against.
[13:37.920 -> 13:41.560] If we get past that and into the paradox of, oh, actually, no, I'm seeing the third-eye
[13:41.560 -> 13:45.600] truth in understanding both sides, but I'm still making my choice, and I know what I'm about and what I'm seeing the third eye truth in understanding both sides. And but I'm still making my choice.
[13:45.600 -> 13:47.960] I know what I'm about and what I'm not.
[13:47.960 -> 13:50.960] Look, to be, it's a gift to have something
[13:50.960 -> 13:53.360] and to find things in our life that we can be committed to.
[13:53.360 -> 13:54.560] We're giving ourselves,
[13:54.560 -> 13:58.480] because it gives us a compass, man.
[13:58.480 -> 14:00.760] It gives us an anchor in this world.
[14:00.760 -> 14:02.880] And even I've found that it gives me courage
[14:02.880 -> 14:07.120] to try out new things if I'm anchored, meaning like, my family's non
[14:07.120 -> 14:10.440] negotiable, me as a father, non negotiable, my husband, non
[14:10.440 -> 14:14.220] negotiable, boy to have those and go, well, whenever nothing
[14:14.220 -> 14:17.160] else makes sense in the world, I got that. And I know if I go to
[14:17.160 -> 14:21.160] that, I can't go wrong. It's good to have that. And I have
[14:21.160 -> 14:26.720] more courage to go out further and try out different things because I have this lynchpin or maybe it's
[14:26.720 -> 14:32.760] faith. But to be obsessed, to get find something that you can
[14:32.760 -> 14:36.080] get obsessed with that is actually to be a healthy
[14:36.080 -> 14:41.640] obsession. To if you want to be a perfectionist about that you
[14:41.640 -> 14:44.520] want to do it as best as possible that you want to that
[14:44.680 -> 14:46.200] that's a gift to be able
[14:46.200 -> 14:47.200] to do it.
[14:47.200 -> 14:48.700] And it's not supposed to be easy.
[14:48.700 -> 14:53.120] I don't know if it was easy, it wouldn't be near as fun once you get it or once you pull
[14:53.120 -> 14:57.740] it off another day, another week, another year, another life.
[14:57.740 -> 15:03.400] But can you, can you keep, you know, it's hard to balance all these things.
[15:03.400 -> 15:05.320] Meaning if I'm going to go get obsessed with the role of these things. Meaning, if I'm gonna go get obsessed
[15:05.320 -> 15:06.820] with the role of my career.
[15:07.760 -> 15:10.740] Well, if I didn't have my family with me on location,
[15:10.740 -> 15:12.080] I'm, if I'm going in,
[15:12.080 -> 15:14.000] if I'm going in the asset section on my career,
[15:14.000 -> 15:17.580] man, I'm really doing a good job, nailing this character.
[15:17.580 -> 15:19.920] But I'm kind of going into the debit section back home
[15:19.920 -> 15:21.800] with the wife, because I hadn't seen her in a while.
[15:21.800 -> 15:23.600] Kids hadn't seen me in a while.
[15:23.600 -> 15:24.840] Friends I haven't talked to,
[15:24.840 -> 15:26.520] and actually I haven't been getting enough sleep
[15:26.520 -> 15:28.760] or eating so my health's kind of going debit.
[15:28.760 -> 15:31.640] So how do we keep these things all balanced?
[15:31.640 -> 15:32.480] Tough to do.
[15:33.600 -> 15:35.160] Luckily I get my family to come with me.
[15:35.160 -> 15:37.260] I have a wife that has a support system around me
[15:37.260 -> 15:39.600] that tells me when I go out the door in the morning,
[15:39.600 -> 15:40.980] don't look over your shoulder.
[15:40.980 -> 15:43.520] Go be obsessed with this role today.
[15:43.520 -> 15:45.540] I got the kids, I got the house,
[15:45.540 -> 15:46.980] get your ass out there and do it.
[15:46.980 -> 15:49.200] So I have a support system that helps with that.
[15:49.200 -> 15:50.940] And if you don't have a support system like that,
[15:50.940 -> 15:53.720] it's harder because you go get obsessed with something,
[15:53.720 -> 15:55.240] you're like, well, what am I gonna miss?
[15:55.240 -> 15:56.480] Am I missing another opportunity
[15:56.480 -> 15:58.060] if my head's so down on the process?
[15:58.060 -> 15:59.220] You know what I mean?
[15:59.220 -> 16:00.720] What about people then, Matthew,
[16:00.720 -> 16:02.280] who are listening to this conversation
[16:02.280 -> 16:03.580] and they want to be where you are,
[16:03.580 -> 16:05.860] they want to be passionate, they want
[16:05.860 -> 16:07.920] to look at their life and know they're going in the right
[16:07.920 -> 16:11.440] direction, but they're struggling to find the thing.
[16:11.460 -> 16:14.800] We've already said how hard it is to know who you are sometimes
[16:14.800 -> 16:17.300] I think in the modern world. What's your advice for those
[16:17.300 -> 16:20.900] people? Because you talk about responsibility. Is it all of our
[16:20.900 -> 16:26.520] responsibility to know what we should be? What makes us tick, the life we should live.
[16:26.520 -> 16:30.620] If we choose it to be, again, I would say it's a choice.
[16:30.620 -> 16:33.260] But I think, I hope I'm not being condescending to say
[16:33.260 -> 16:36.560] that I think everybody is on some level
[16:37.500 -> 16:40.780] is extremely interested in the introspection
[16:40.780 -> 16:43.980] and investigation of who are they individually
[16:43.980 -> 16:49.120] and who are they in this world and what, how do they dance? What's the reverb? What they give out
[16:49.120 -> 16:53.680] and what comes back? What's the supply and demand of the life we live every day
[16:53.680 -> 16:57.760] and it's in the relationship with the world. So then you break down the
[16:57.760 -> 17:03.020] world, our careers, our time, families. It's hard to know who you are and what you
[17:03.020 -> 17:07.060] want to do. I write about this in the book. So first, take that pressure off yourself
[17:07.060 -> 17:09.140] and start with process of elimination.
[17:09.140 -> 17:11.100] Meaning like, dang it, I'm not getting what I want.
[17:11.100 -> 17:14.140] I don't know what it, well, who I am.
[17:14.140 -> 17:15.580] I don't know if I'm on the right track.
[17:15.580 -> 17:16.620] All right, forget that.
[17:16.620 -> 17:17.700] That's a big question, Andrew.
[17:17.700 -> 17:19.620] Let's just eliminate the things in our life
[17:19.620 -> 17:22.380] that we know don't feed our true selves.
[17:22.380 -> 17:24.000] Who are those people, those places,
[17:24.000 -> 17:25.440] those habits that we keep going,
[17:25.440 -> 17:27.940] I keep having a hangover every time I'm with them.
[17:27.940 -> 17:31.920] I don't not get residuals from that relationship.
[17:31.920 -> 17:33.200] I always like it on the come,
[17:33.200 -> 17:34.960] but I don't like it on the go.
[17:34.960 -> 17:37.000] You know, I like the approach think I'm gonna make,
[17:37.000 -> 17:38.040] I keep going to that place.
[17:38.040 -> 17:39.800] Damn, why do I every morning I wake up
[17:39.800 -> 17:41.200] and I have a worse hangover in that bar,
[17:41.200 -> 17:44.240] but I had the same drinks than I had in the other bar.
[17:44.240 -> 17:45.680] Same drink, maybe it's the people,
[17:45.680 -> 17:46.800] maybe it's the conversation,
[17:46.800 -> 17:48.440] maybe it's the smoke in the air, I don't know.
[17:48.440 -> 17:49.920] But start eliminating those things
[17:49.920 -> 17:52.720] that don't seem to give us residuals.
[17:52.720 -> 17:55.280] Think about it as ROI, return on investment.
[17:55.280 -> 17:57.600] So if you eliminate enough of the things that we aren't
[17:57.600 -> 17:59.880] and don't feed us, our process of elimination,
[17:59.880 -> 18:01.800] mathematically, we will end up with better chance
[18:01.800 -> 18:05.520] of things that we are, that do feed us, in front of us.
[18:05.520 -> 18:08.060] Well now, if we get to that spot,
[18:08.060 -> 18:11.420] I think it's about saying, or asking ourselves,
[18:11.420 -> 18:13.420] what do I have an innate ability to do?
[18:14.420 -> 18:16.320] What am I naturally gifted at?
[18:17.580 -> 18:21.040] Parlayed with, and what am I willing
[18:21.040 -> 18:24.200] to bust my backside work ethic-wise to be good at?
[18:24.200 -> 18:26.980] So biology and giddy-up, you know what I mean?
[18:28.020 -> 18:30.420] And if we can match those two,
[18:30.420 -> 18:32.980] then I think we have a better chance of succeeding
[18:32.980 -> 18:37.380] at least on a level that the proverbial Monday morning
[18:37.380 -> 18:39.180] and Monday feels constructive.
[18:39.180 -> 18:41.080] It doesn't mean we all become rich and famous.
[18:41.080 -> 18:44.180] If we all only did what we loved,
[18:44.180 -> 18:46.560] unemployment would be through the roof. So
[18:46.640 -> 18:50.280] so I'm not talking about do what you love. No, you can, you can
[18:50.280 -> 18:52.540] learn to you can learn to really enjoy doing something that you
[18:52.540 -> 18:55.120] may not love, but you can enjoy the feeling of being good at
[18:55.200 -> 18:58.120] doing something well, you do something where you like to do
[18:58.120 -> 19:02.640] it more. But if you can marry if we can marry innate ability with
[19:02.640 -> 19:13.600] giddy up with work ethic with I'm going to educate myself for that, or I'm going to work towards that, and I'm willing to outwork somebody else next to me, my competition, whatever, that's something that I have an innate ability for.
[19:14.000 -> 19:17.120] I think that's the honey hole, because a lot of us chase things.
[19:17.160 -> 19:28.600] Look, I'm 5'11, three quarters, got, you know, 33 inch waist, 32 inch legs, my waist longer than I wasn't gonna be an NBA basketball player, no matter how many places or camps I would have gone to,
[19:28.600 -> 19:30.400] or no matter how hard I worked.
[19:30.400 -> 19:31.760] I didn't have the innate ability.
[19:31.760 -> 19:33.880] I may have had the giddy up,
[19:33.880 -> 19:34.880] but if you ain't got the innate ability,
[19:34.880 -> 19:37.440] don't go play the giddy up on the thing that you're like,
[19:37.440 -> 19:39.280] that's not gonna happen, bro.
[19:39.280 -> 19:40.240] You know what I mean?
[19:40.240 -> 19:42.200] This is a really interesting one for our listeners
[19:42.200 -> 19:43.680] that might find themselves say,
[19:43.680 -> 19:49.280] stuck in a job that they know doesn't excite them but they have a level of competence at it and it brings in the
[19:49.280 -> 19:55.360] bills and you were on a similar path in terms of pursuing your law degree and you were looking to
[19:55.360 -> 19:59.840] pursue that route. What were the kind of questions that you were asking yourself
[19:59.840 -> 20:05.100] that gave you the courage to walk away and pursue the risk of a career in Hollywood?
[20:05.100 -> 20:07.740] Well, I was a sophomore in college at this time.
[20:07.740 -> 20:11.220] And the only thing I had ever thought I wanted to be
[20:11.220 -> 20:12.840] or had talked about with my family
[20:12.840 -> 20:14.100] or was expected to be was a lawyer.
[20:14.100 -> 20:16.380] And I was right on with that.
[20:16.380 -> 20:19.120] Thought I could have gone on and been a decent lawyer
[20:19.120 -> 20:21.080] and would have been excited about that.
[20:21.080 -> 20:24.420] But around my sophomore year, I started not sleeping well
[20:24.420 -> 20:25.640] with the idea that,
[20:25.640 -> 20:27.720] wait a minute, two more years here,
[20:27.720 -> 20:29.120] then I'm gonna law school for four years,
[20:29.120 -> 20:30.360] then get out and get a job.
[20:30.360 -> 20:33.320] I'm gonna be 30 before I actually get in it.
[20:33.320 -> 20:35.000] And I was like, I'm not sure I wanna spend
[20:35.000 -> 20:39.160] my entire 20s learning a craft.
[20:39.160 -> 20:41.560] I wanna, I feel like I just wanna try to put my mark
[20:41.560 -> 20:43.520] in here somewhere or just go find out.
[20:43.520 -> 20:45.520] I need something more experiential. I need to, you know, I just gotta get my hands put my mark in here somewhere or just go find out. I need something more experiential.
[20:45.520 -> 20:47.380] I need to, you know, I just got to get my hands
[20:47.380 -> 20:48.680] in the clay and something.
[20:48.680 -> 20:50.680] And I had been writing at the time
[20:50.680 -> 20:52.640] and had shared some short stories with a friend of mine
[20:52.640 -> 20:54.220] who told me he thought they were pretty good.
[20:54.220 -> 20:55.060] And then he came to me and said,
[20:55.060 -> 20:55.880] boy, the short stories are good,
[20:55.880 -> 20:58.240] but also, you know, you've got good character.
[20:58.240 -> 20:59.640] Think about in front of the camera.
[20:59.640 -> 21:01.000] And I was like, ah, no, no.
[21:01.000 -> 21:03.800] A little, you know, it was just too avant-garde
[21:03.800 -> 21:05.720] of a thought to be an actor.
[21:05.720 -> 21:07.320] But I did have, I was able to say,
[21:07.320 -> 21:08.560] yes, the storytelling business.
[21:08.560 -> 21:13.560] So I have that phone call you brought up earlier to my dad
[21:15.440 -> 21:18.600] where I thought he was gonna go, you wanna do what?
[21:18.600 -> 21:19.800] Meaning I was raised blue collar,
[21:19.800 -> 21:21.280] you work your way up the ladder.
[21:21.280 -> 21:24.280] The idea of going into the arts as a career,
[21:24.280 -> 21:25.120] I thought he was gonna go,
[21:25.120 -> 21:26.840] son, you do that shit on Saturday afternoon
[21:26.840 -> 21:27.880] as a hobby if you want,
[21:27.880 -> 21:30.600] but you need to get a job that pays and blah, blah, blah.
[21:30.600 -> 21:31.440] Well, he didn't.
[21:31.440 -> 21:32.360] What he actually told me was,
[21:32.360 -> 21:33.880] is that what you, once I said, that's what I wanna do,
[21:33.880 -> 21:35.520] he goes, well, don't half-ass it.
[21:36.600 -> 21:38.640] So in that line, he not only gave me approval,
[21:38.640 -> 21:40.960] he gave me a kick in the backside, a launch pad,
[21:40.960 -> 21:43.160] a rocket fuel, more than privilege,
[21:43.160 -> 21:45.200] he gave me freedom and accountability
[21:45.200 -> 21:47.600] and responsibility to go try and make it happen.
[21:49.100 -> 21:52.180] But it's the fact that I wasn't sleeping well,
[21:52.180 -> 21:54.280] and I was willing to take the risk to say,
[21:54.280 -> 21:57.680] well, you also have an innate ability here
[21:57.680 -> 22:00.020] to be able to tell stories and get into it.
[22:00.020 -> 22:01.480] I mean, let's take our chance.
[22:01.480 -> 22:02.920] There's not a, you're not gonna have to be
[22:02.920 -> 22:03.760] at school as long.
[22:03.760 -> 22:06.060] You're, you know, I remember thinking,
[22:06.060 -> 22:09.020] Hollywood doesn't give a damn about your GPA.
[22:09.020 -> 22:11.960] They want to see something, you know what I mean?
[22:11.960 -> 22:14.020] They want to see a product, a piece of content.
[22:14.020 -> 22:15.560] So that was like, well, you can start trying
[22:15.560 -> 22:18.780] to make content immediately, you know,
[22:18.780 -> 22:21.140] even while you're here in school, try to.
[22:21.140 -> 22:22.440] They're not looking at your ID to say,
[22:22.440 -> 22:24.460] oh, you can't, we can't take that great piece of content
[22:24.460 -> 22:27.680] because you're still in college. They'll take it from anybody, five year old,
[22:27.680 -> 22:31.520] you know what I mean? So, I think it was a risk that I was wanting to take, but I felt
[22:31.520 -> 22:33.240] I did have the innate ability to do it.
[22:33.240 -> 22:37.360] A lot of people will look for the path of least resistance. They will always look for
[22:37.360 -> 22:42.440] a reason not to take the risk, whether it's children, leaving college, whatever. What's
[22:42.440 -> 22:45.120] your advice to those people?
[22:45.120 -> 22:48.360] On every project, film, I do,
[22:48.360 -> 22:50.240] I go through a process of this.
[22:50.240 -> 22:54.240] One, I'm looking for a character or a story
[22:54.240 -> 22:58.120] that I'm like, whoa, huh,
[22:58.120 -> 22:59.960] I don't know what I'm going to do with this,
[22:59.960 -> 23:02.960] but geez, I can't wait, right?
[23:02.960 -> 23:05.960] Now that's a good fear of I'm gonna dive in,
[23:05.960 -> 23:07.780] I'm trusting I'll come up the other side
[23:07.780 -> 23:09.180] with an identity for a character
[23:09.180 -> 23:11.320] and I will have, as an architect,
[23:11.320 -> 23:14.680] constructed hopefully a character that I can feel is true
[23:14.680 -> 23:16.800] and I can be honored with portraying.
[23:18.280 -> 23:20.480] But there's other times I'm scared
[23:20.480 -> 23:21.320] because I'm going like,
[23:21.320 -> 23:24.320] I'm not sure about this director, man.
[23:24.320 -> 23:25.800] I'm not sure that actually the financiers
[23:25.800 -> 23:27.400] really want to make the movie I want to make.
[23:27.400 -> 23:28.600] I think they may have been just telling me
[23:28.600 -> 23:31.000] they wanted to make the movie that I see in the script
[23:31.000 -> 23:32.000] because they just want me to say,
[23:32.000 -> 23:34.900] you have a good job, man.
[23:34.900 -> 23:38.200] Now, that's a fear that I want to go.
[23:38.200 -> 23:39.500] It'd still be a risk to take it,
[23:39.500 -> 23:43.800] but maybe the pedigree around me is not right.
[23:43.800 -> 23:45.600] So that's a fear that tells me,
[23:45.600 -> 23:46.800] uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.
[23:46.800 -> 23:48.700] That's a good reason to back off of it.
[23:48.700 -> 23:52.180] So what I'll do is say, I'll get a script,
[23:52.180 -> 23:53.900] a character I really want to do it,
[23:53.900 -> 23:56.880] and I'll start out with my yeses and my no's, right?
[23:56.880 -> 23:58.620] And then I'll go to my wife,
[23:58.620 -> 24:00.580] come on, doing it.
[24:00.580 -> 24:03.580] Starts in January, doing it.
[24:03.580 -> 24:05.340] Get ready, so we're going to be over in Mauritius
[24:05.340 -> 24:07.040] for four months, and we're going,
[24:07.040 -> 24:09.040] and there we go, and I got to do it.
[24:09.040 -> 24:11.680] And I sit in that state of mind,
[24:11.680 -> 24:15.020] fully convinced, yes, for 10 days.
[24:15.020 -> 24:19.120] And I then measure myself for that 10 days.
[24:19.120 -> 24:21.560] Well, how many times did you start seeing the world
[24:21.560 -> 24:23.520] through the eyes of this character,
[24:23.520 -> 24:24.460] jotting down notes?
[24:24.460 -> 24:25.080] You're already getting creatively turned on. What did two other opportunities How many times did you start seeing the world through the eyes of this character, jotting down notes,
[24:25.080 -> 24:27.280] you're already getting creatively turned on?
[24:28.320 -> 24:30.860] What, did two other opportunities come up in January
[24:30.860 -> 24:31.920] that you already immediately said,
[24:31.920 -> 24:34.240] "'Nope, not doing it, because I'm doing this other thing.'"
[24:34.240 -> 24:37.120] That's a good reason to usually say, yes, let's do it.
[24:37.120 -> 24:40.380] But alternatively, 10 days go by,
[24:41.320 -> 24:43.980] and I woke up in the middle of the night three times,
[24:43.980 -> 24:47.680] going, oh, I'm not sure about so and so in this movie.
[24:47.680 -> 24:48.780] I'm not sure about that.
[24:48.780 -> 24:50.680] That's something to listen to as well.
[24:50.680 -> 24:51.960] Maybe that's the reason not to.
[24:51.960 -> 24:56.180] So then after 10 days, I go, now I'm gonna live 10 days.
[24:56.180 -> 24:57.420] No, I'm not doing it.
[24:58.400 -> 24:59.640] Miller, not doing it.
[24:59.640 -> 25:00.880] Call off the trip.
[25:00.880 -> 25:02.780] We're not going away.
[25:02.780 -> 25:04.800] Now I measure that 10 days.
[25:04.800 -> 25:05.040] Now what wakes me up at night?
[25:05.040 -> 25:06.380] Did I wake up at night going,
[25:06.380 -> 25:08.980] whoo, think he dodged a bullet there, buddy.
[25:08.980 -> 25:09.580] Good move.
[25:09.580 -> 25:10.580] Or did I wake up at night going,
[25:10.580 -> 25:13.580] I have to play that character in this movie.
[25:13.580 -> 25:15.320] I have to.
[25:15.320 -> 25:17.520] No, I can't believe I let that go.
[25:17.520 -> 25:20.560] All right, then leads to a good reason to maybe go,
[25:20.560 -> 25:21.520] let's do it.
[25:21.520 -> 25:27.160] So to measure, to commit to yes to something,
[25:27.160 -> 25:29.340] see how you feel, see what bubbles up.
[25:29.340 -> 25:33.060] To commit to no, see what bubbles up.
[25:33.060 -> 25:35.560] But convince yourself that it's happening.
[25:35.560 -> 25:37.620] It's not foolproof, but it helps a lot
[25:37.620 -> 25:40.120] on measurement of whether to take the risk or not.
[25:40.120 -> 25:42.380] So do you check in with yourself often?
[25:42.380 -> 25:43.800] Every night maybe?
[25:43.800 -> 25:44.980] I try to through the day.
[25:44.980 -> 25:47.200] I mean, I don't have a, you know, a scheduled ritual.
[25:47.840 -> 25:51.760] You know, I check in, we as a family check in with gratitude before meals.
[25:52.480 -> 25:57.120] And then I check in, you know, with myself through the day. And then at the end of the day,
[25:57.120 -> 26:00.720] I like to go back and try and do a little inventory of how was my day?
[26:01.760 -> 26:06.200] Why am I having trouble remembering what I had for breakfast? Why am I having trouble remembering?
[26:06.200 -> 26:07.380] Well, that means you need to slow down
[26:07.380 -> 26:08.380] and actually go back and think
[26:08.380 -> 26:10.780] so you can have some demarcations between the events.
[26:10.780 -> 26:11.620] Cause you know, we get busy,
[26:11.620 -> 26:13.820] they all start piling up on each other.
[26:13.820 -> 26:15.020] And I'm good in autopilot.
[26:15.020 -> 26:16.340] I'm really good when I'm running, you know,
[26:16.340 -> 26:18.180] I'm like line them up.
[26:18.180 -> 26:19.740] I'll remember what the hell I did next year.
[26:19.740 -> 26:21.120] You know what I mean?
[26:21.120 -> 26:22.700] I'm good, I'm good in that mode,
[26:22.700 -> 26:24.300] but I like it better when I'm like,
[26:24.300 -> 26:25.500] end of the day, okay.
[26:25.500 -> 26:27.200] Few more occasion, how did we do today?
[26:27.200 -> 26:29.720] We knew we had a big week, Monday.
[26:29.720 -> 26:31.240] Yep, good, nailed that one.
[26:31.240 -> 26:32.520] Okay, put that aside.
[26:32.520 -> 26:33.360] What do we got now?
[26:33.360 -> 26:34.440] A little small projection.
[26:34.440 -> 26:35.280] What do we got tomorrow?
[26:35.280 -> 26:36.920] What time does the day get started?
[26:36.920 -> 26:38.120] We've got, okay, we start with that.
[26:38.120 -> 26:39.160] Yeah, I got that break.
[26:39.160 -> 26:41.400] I mean, we can have lunch on there and I'll come back.
[26:41.400 -> 26:43.580] First part of the day is about green light,
[26:43.580 -> 26:45.560] second part's about MOC, then I got the kit.
[26:45.560 -> 26:46.400] Yep, okay.
[26:46.400 -> 26:48.120] Three different mode, yep, got it.
[26:48.120 -> 26:49.680] Then I'm, that helps me go to sleep.
[26:49.680 -> 26:52.720] But I do do a little check-in with the day
[26:52.720 -> 26:55.000] and a little projection into,
[26:55.000 -> 26:56.400] let's look at what we got tomorrow.
[26:56.400 -> 26:59.080] So where does the diary keeping fit in with that then,
[26:59.080 -> 27:01.080] Matthew, because that really intrigued me
[27:01.080 -> 27:03.480] that you've kept a diary for so long.
[27:03.480 -> 27:05.520] Is that not part of your way of
[27:13.840 -> 27:17.440] processing events and making sense of the world around you? Well sure it is. I mean it's, you know
[27:21.920 -> 27:25.120] what do we usually go to a diary for? A journal. Especially when we go there when we're lost, when we're having trouble, we're trying to figure shit out and we're confused.
[27:26.160 -> 27:27.920] And that's what I originally went to it for.
[27:27.920 -> 27:29.840] You know, why'd so-and-so break up with me?
[27:29.840 -> 27:31.440] Why do I got pimples on my face?
[27:31.440 -> 27:33.200] But why, you know, that kind of stuff.
[27:33.200 -> 27:34.320] As a 14-year-old kid.
[27:35.680 -> 27:41.200] And then I remember reminding myself in my early 20s,
[27:41.200 -> 27:42.640] I was in a time of my life where I was rolling.
[27:42.640 -> 27:44.080] I mean, my relationships were good.
[27:44.080 -> 27:46.080] I had cash in my pocket. I had a my relationships were good. I had cash in my pocket.
[27:46.080 -> 27:47.560] I had a four handicap in golf.
[27:47.560 -> 27:49.160] I had a hot girlfriend.
[27:49.160 -> 27:50.280] I was making grades.
[27:50.280 -> 27:51.320] Mom and dad were happy.
[27:51.320 -> 27:52.680] I was rolling.
[27:52.680 -> 27:54.300] Well, those are the times you don't really go
[27:54.300 -> 27:55.640] right in your diary, right?
[27:55.640 -> 27:57.880] Cause you're like going, I found it.
[27:57.880 -> 27:58.840] I'll never lose it.
[28:00.240 -> 28:03.040] Which we all know is false because you will lose it.
[28:03.040 -> 28:04.280] And you will get in a rut again.
[28:04.280 -> 28:05.600] You will, when you're on frequency,
[28:05.600 -> 28:07.440] you will get off frequency again.
[28:07.440 -> 28:08.800] There is no ta-da moment.
[28:09.840 -> 28:11.840] So I remember going, you better write,
[28:11.840 -> 28:14.400] you better keep writing now while you're rolling.
[28:14.960 -> 28:17.760] Because when you do get off frequency again later in life,
[28:17.760 -> 28:21.040] you might want to have something to look back at.
[28:22.800 -> 28:25.600] And I did, and that practice helped me in times when I was in a rut to go back at. And I did and that practice helped me
[28:25.600 -> 28:28.160] in times when I was in a rut to go back and go,
[28:28.160 -> 28:30.000] we had this year here where you were
[28:30.000 -> 28:32.040] catching green lights in life.
[28:32.040 -> 28:36.160] I mean, not relationships, job, sleep,
[28:36.160 -> 28:38.400] self-respect, self-confidence.
[28:38.400 -> 28:39.240] And I look back and I was like,
[28:39.240 -> 28:40.400] well, who were you hanging out with?
[28:40.400 -> 28:41.240] Where were you going?
[28:41.240 -> 28:42.080] How much sleep are you getting?
[28:42.080 -> 28:42.900] What were you eating?
[28:42.900 -> 28:43.740] What were you drinking?
[28:43.740 -> 28:45.800] What were you doing first thing to start the day off?
[28:45.800 -> 28:47.640] What was your, you know, where are you going to church?
[28:47.640 -> 28:49.140] But whatever those may be.
[28:49.140 -> 28:51.040] And they helped me recalibrate and go,
[28:51.040 -> 28:52.320] well, let's pick some of those habits up
[28:52.320 -> 28:53.920] that we kind of thought we could take
[28:53.920 -> 28:55.180] for granted here for a while.
[28:55.180 -> 28:58.000] And they helped me get back on the rails a little bit.
[28:58.000 -> 29:00.680] So one of the phrases that Jake and I use frequently
[29:00.680 -> 29:04.160] on this podcast, Matthew, is success leaves clues.
[29:04.160 -> 29:09.000] That when you're successful, there's lots of clues left behind for it and that sounds like what
[29:09.000 -> 29:14.440] you've done over your career. Yes and what's the world tell us to do? Dissect
[29:14.440 -> 29:20.400] your failure. No, dissect the success too at least because you're gonna need it
[29:20.400 -> 29:28.080] and there is a science to satisfaction. It was a really interesting two anecdotes in the book that intrigued us
[29:28.080 -> 29:32.400] was that one was the liberation when you first
[29:32.400 -> 29:36.240] played the role in Dazed and Confused that you almost just played the character
[29:36.240 -> 29:41.680] and then you tell the story about when you tried to do that same
[29:41.680 -> 29:45.000] approach and you didn't read the script.
[29:46.100 -> 29:47.940] So again, that's a really interesting way
[29:47.940 -> 29:52.280] that you learn from failure and success.
[29:52.280 -> 29:54.320] So how do you get that balance now, Matt?
[29:54.320 -> 29:57.300] That was a time, look, I fell into my first acting role.
[29:57.300 -> 29:59.440] There were three lines written, I worked for three weeks.
[29:59.440 -> 30:01.660] I knew my man, Wooderson.
[30:01.660 -> 30:03.680] So I was just throwing me in the situation
[30:03.680 -> 30:05.000] and like somebody say something, I'd just be my man. Well, then I get out to throw me in the situation, and, like, somebody say something,
[30:05.000 -> 30:06.500] and I'd just be my man.
[30:06.500 -> 30:07.800] Well, then I get out to Hollywood,
[30:07.800 -> 30:09.200] and I went through a patch of about a year
[30:09.200 -> 30:12.700] where I was wasn't getting jobs, and I was too tight,
[30:12.700 -> 30:15.700] and I was talking to people about acting lessons and stuff.
[30:15.700 -> 30:17.300] So I started to think about this thing
[30:17.300 -> 30:19.000] that I had a natural ability to do.
[30:19.000 -> 30:21.400] And as we all know, when you start to learn a craft
[30:21.400 -> 30:23.600] that you may have an innate ability for,
[30:23.600 -> 30:26.320] there's a transition to move it from the intellectual
[30:26.320 -> 30:30.080] into the soul and the language and the body, you know?
[30:30.080 -> 30:33.160] And that can be an awkward transition.
[30:33.160 -> 30:34.200] Kind of thinking about stuff
[30:34.200 -> 30:35.520] where you are just kind of doing it.
[30:35.520 -> 30:39.000] You're learning the math of your poetry.
[30:39.000 -> 30:41.280] And it's a good bridge to cross,
[30:41.280 -> 30:44.040] but while you're on the bridge, it can be a little wobbly.
[30:44.040 -> 30:45.400] And it was for me.
[30:45.400 -> 30:47.320] So I get this bright idea that I'm like,
[30:47.320 -> 30:48.600] I'm not getting any jobs.
[30:48.600 -> 30:51.600] I'm auditioning, but I feel like every time
[30:51.600 -> 30:52.520] I leave the audition, I'm like,
[30:52.520 -> 30:54.040] ah, you left a little bit in the tank.
[30:54.040 -> 30:54.880] You could have done more.
[30:54.880 -> 30:56.400] You didn't take a risk.
[30:56.400 -> 30:57.520] So I'm like, you know what?
[30:57.520 -> 31:00.160] I got off with this blind offer on this job.
[31:00.160 -> 31:02.640] One day work, no audition, nothing, come on.
[31:02.640 -> 31:03.920] I said, I'll take the job.
[31:03.920 -> 31:05.440] And then I get this idea. I go,
[31:05.440 -> 31:07.200] you know what? I know what it is.
[31:07.200 -> 31:10.040] I got to go back to how I did in my very first film
[31:10.040 -> 31:12.440] when there was no scripted lines,
[31:12.440 -> 31:14.640] where I just knew my man,
[31:14.640 -> 31:18.120] and I did what my man would do and said what he would do.
[31:18.120 -> 31:20.420] I've been overthinking this acting thing too much.
[31:20.420 -> 31:23.280] So you know what? I'm not even going to read the script.
[31:23.280 -> 31:25.340] Give me the log line of who my guy is,
[31:25.340 -> 31:28.540] what is his obstacle, what do I need,
[31:28.540 -> 31:30.240] and what do I need to overcome.
[31:30.240 -> 31:32.380] That's got to happen in the scene, no matter what.
[31:32.380 -> 31:33.580] And I'll just be my man.
[31:33.580 -> 31:35.820] I'm not even gonna read the scene.
[31:35.820 -> 31:37.320] Bad idea.
[31:37.320 -> 31:39.020] And right before we're about to get on action
[31:39.020 -> 31:41.420] to do this scene, which I have never read
[31:41.420 -> 31:43.360] or known nothing about,
[31:43.360 -> 31:45.340] the PA comes by, production assistant,
[31:45.340 -> 31:46.940] says, Mr. McConaughey, would you like some sides?
[31:46.940 -> 31:50.240] It's a miniature version of the script of scenes that day.
[31:50.240 -> 31:53.140] And evidently, I was feeling a little insecure
[31:53.140 -> 31:55.580] because I said, yeah, let me have a peek at those
[31:55.580 -> 31:57.080] right before we're about to go on.
[31:57.080 -> 31:58.120] Action.
[31:58.120 -> 31:59.920] And I get them, and I decide in my head,
[31:59.920 -> 32:02.260] I remember thinking, well, I'll have a look at the dialogue
[32:02.260 -> 32:04.320] because if it's written well,
[32:04.320 -> 32:07.340] it's obviously what my man would say. And if it's not written well, I'll have a look at the dialogue, because if it's written well, it's obviously what my man would say.
[32:07.340 -> 32:09.240] And if it's not written well, I'll just say and do
[32:09.240 -> 32:11.840] what I would do anyway and throw it away.
[32:11.840 -> 32:16.580] Four-page monologue by my guy in Spanish.
[32:16.580 -> 32:17.880] -$%&!
[32:17.880 -> 32:21.880] -$%&!
[32:21.880 -> 32:23.420] Oh, man.
[32:23.420 -> 32:27.040] And I remember saying, can I get 12 minutes?
[32:27.040 -> 32:31.880] Because I thought in my head that that was enough time to not be too inconsiderate to
[32:31.880 -> 32:37.120] the crew, but also enough time to learn a four page monologue in Spanish.
[32:37.120 -> 32:41.680] Hey, I took Spanish for one semester in the 11th grade.
[32:41.680 -> 32:42.680] I love it.
[32:42.680 -> 32:43.680] Oh man.
[32:43.680 -> 32:44.680] Embarrassed.
[32:44.680 -> 32:47.300] Sweat started and I was so embarrassed
[32:47.300 -> 32:49.200] that from then on I said, no, no, no, no.
[32:49.200 -> 32:54.200] You prepare to the hilt so you can have the freedom.
[32:54.880 -> 32:57.600] Go, don't get over that bridge of learning.
[32:57.600 -> 32:59.640] Like learn it so much where you're over it
[32:59.640 -> 33:01.220] where you don't have to think about it.
[33:01.220 -> 33:03.240] So the next thing I come up for a time to kill
[33:03.240 -> 33:04.800] I'm offered a small role.
[33:04.800 -> 33:06.320] Well, I not only read the script,
[33:06.320 -> 33:08.520] I read the book back cover to cover,
[33:08.520 -> 33:10.080] and I'm confident enough to go in there
[33:10.080 -> 33:11.720] and tell the director, no, I don't think I need this role,
[33:11.720 -> 33:13.080] I think I need the lead.
[33:13.080 -> 33:14.560] But that's an important point, isn't it?
[33:14.560 -> 33:17.960] That it's almost doing the work liberates you.
[33:17.960 -> 33:20.200] So again, when you tell about that,
[33:20.200 -> 33:23.480] that when you went for the lead in a time to kill,
[33:23.480 -> 33:25.840] you read it mechanically,
[33:25.840 -> 33:27.480] and then the director said to you,
[33:27.480 -> 33:30.480] now read it as you would do, and liberated you.
[33:30.480 -> 33:31.480] Is that true?
[33:31.480 -> 33:34.960] Conservatory liberal late is another way of saying that,
[33:34.960 -> 33:36.440] you know, and I don't mean that political terms.
[33:36.440 -> 33:38.560] I mean, what are the rules of the game here?
[33:38.560 -> 33:39.480] What are all my options?
[33:39.480 -> 33:40.320] What are all my play calls?
[33:40.320 -> 33:41.140] What's the playbook?
[33:41.140 -> 33:44.080] Let me study it all, get it down so well
[33:44.080 -> 33:46.460] that when it's time to go in the proverbial game of
[33:46.460 -> 33:50.440] life, when we're in between action and cut of whatever our
[33:50.440 -> 33:54.280] job is, we've thrown the playbook away. Come on, let's
[33:54.280 -> 33:57.880] play. Because I'm not thinking about it. Because I prepared
[33:57.880 -> 34:01.000] enough where I'm it's not up here anymore. It's in here and
[34:01.000 -> 34:03.240] down here in my loins and legs. Let's go.
[34:03.560 -> 34:06.960] It is so good to hear this, Matthew, because it reminds us of another theme we talk about
[34:06.960 -> 34:10.960] often on this podcast, which is have an idea of where you want to go,
[34:10.960 -> 34:14.880] but be flexible about how you get there. And you talk about that in your book as well.
[34:14.880 -> 34:19.760] Unexpected red lights. And you've just given us some great stories relating to some red lights,
[34:19.760 -> 34:24.320] but they send you down a path you weren't expecting and green lights come your way.
[34:24.320 -> 34:26.560] And that's exactly what's happened here.
[34:26.560 -> 34:29.140] The negatives creating the positives.
[34:29.140 -> 34:31.440] Look, you gotta have the dark to appreciate the light.
[34:31.440 -> 34:33.440] You gotta, I mean, at the end of the day, you gotta,
[34:33.440 -> 34:37.000] I mean, we don't like the yellow and reds,
[34:37.000 -> 34:39.760] lights in our life, but damn,
[34:39.760 -> 34:42.680] if most of the time they aren't something we need.
[34:42.680 -> 34:44.800] So then goes back to your earlier question.
[34:44.800 -> 34:47.760] Do we recognise what the lesson we got from them?
[34:47.760 -> 34:50.480] Because yeah, all red lights and yellow lights do suck
[34:50.480 -> 34:54.440] if we don't actually realize what we were supposed to learn.
[34:55.360 -> 34:57.540] And if we don't realize what we're supposed to learn
[34:57.540 -> 34:59.080] in the crisis or hardships of life
[34:59.080 -> 35:01.880] or things we don't get that we wanted, what do we do?
[35:02.800 -> 35:04.800] Stuck on this little merry-go-round
[35:04.800 -> 35:06.440] of nothing but green lights, running out of gas
[35:06.440 -> 35:08.060] because life's for nothing but entertainment?
[35:08.060 -> 35:10.100] Well, that sounds like a bunch of pfft,
[35:10.100 -> 35:11.220] you know what I mean?
[35:11.220 -> 35:12.200] Where's the evolution?
[35:12.200 -> 35:13.700] Where's the ascension?
[35:13.700 -> 35:15.620] Or as I tell my mom,
[35:15.620 -> 35:18.900] who's taught us this great trait of being resilient, right?
[35:18.900 -> 35:20.660] So resilient, in fact,
[35:20.660 -> 35:22.200] that you're taught to get up, dust yourself off.
[35:22.200 -> 35:23.100] Get up, dust yourself off.
[35:23.100 -> 35:24.460] Kara, get up, dust yourself off.
[35:24.460 -> 35:26.940] And I remember going to her when I was 22 years old, I was like, mom,
[35:27.340 -> 35:29.540] this theory of yours has been very valuable for me.
[35:29.540 -> 35:31.060] And I would not be the man I am right now,
[35:31.060 -> 35:32.620] unless I would have this resilience you taught.
[35:32.620 -> 35:35.300] But I said, it seems to have a loophole. She goes, what? I go,
[35:37.140 -> 35:40.140] if you're so resilient and you just get up and dust yourself off and carry on
[35:40.160 -> 35:44.380] every single time you become a repeat offender of,
[35:46.480 -> 35:51.760] of the thing you kept doing, screwing up. Meaning like if you step in shit and every time you
[35:51.760 -> 35:55.120] step in shit you pop up and scrape it off and keep running and you come around
[35:55.120 -> 35:59.520] the track and you step in shit again. So the loophole is I think I'm gonna not
[35:59.520 -> 36:02.840] just scrape shit off my boots right now and keep running. I'm actually gonna turn
[36:02.840 -> 36:06.640] around and go why do I keep stepping in that pile of shit?
[36:06.640 -> 36:07.760] So I recognize.
[36:07.760 -> 36:12.440] So next time I come around the bend, I can go around it, I can hop over it, or, you know,
[36:12.440 -> 36:13.800] find another path.
[36:13.800 -> 36:18.680] So create a yellow light, a red light to go.
[36:18.680 -> 36:21.840] That's the time where you go, why am I stepping in that shit?
[36:21.840 -> 36:24.640] That's the self-imposed red or yellow light.
[36:24.640 -> 36:26.680] Or you say, when we talk about taking risks, to realize what the That's the self-imposed red or yellow light. Or you say, when we talk about taking risks,
[36:26.680 -> 36:28.360] to realize what the lesson is
[36:28.360 -> 36:30.220] the self-imposed yellow and red light.
[36:30.220 -> 36:32.240] To go, wait a minute, let me take pause here.
[36:32.240 -> 36:34.440] What am I supposed to learn from this?
[36:34.440 -> 36:37.340] And if you do that, that yellow and red then becomes green.
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[39:50.480 -> 39:52.200] You gave the great example of your wife,
[39:52.200 -> 39:55.280] giving you the encouragement and support to go and pursue
[39:55.280 -> 39:57.040] a role and we'll take care of things here,
[39:57.040 -> 40:00.340] or your mom teaching you the skills of resilience.
[40:00.340 -> 40:03.620] How do you bring people into your world that facilitate
[40:03.620 -> 40:06.020] that ability to learn lessons?
[40:06.020 -> 40:09.520] I wade into relationships slowly.
[40:09.520 -> 40:11.020] I come in with full trust
[40:12.100 -> 40:14.900] until you give me a reason to not trust you fully,
[40:14.900 -> 40:16.900] which I've been told that most people don't do that,
[40:16.900 -> 40:18.900] and I didn't know that.
[40:18.900 -> 40:22.220] But I wade into, I measure people,
[40:22.220 -> 40:23.840] not all, you know, it starts off by what they say.
[40:23.840 -> 40:26.980] That's usually the obvious, what they say and do.
[40:26.980 -> 40:29.280] Then you start, you get to know someone.
[40:29.280 -> 40:32.120] I start to read, try to read what is it they didn't say
[40:32.120 -> 40:33.360] and didn't do, what was in the quiet times?
[40:33.360 -> 40:35.420] What was in between the pauses?
[40:35.420 -> 40:38.920] You know, because we're all, you know,
[40:38.920 -> 40:40.900] actors to some extent in our own life.
[40:40.900 -> 40:43.400] We portray different things to get what we want.
[40:43.400 -> 40:46.160] And, you know, I got no problem with that.
[40:46.160 -> 40:47.580] And hell, I do it too.
[40:47.580 -> 40:51.040] I've always said this, give me the asshole over the dork.
[40:51.040 -> 40:53.040] Well, at least you know where the asshole stands.
[40:53.040 -> 40:56.440] All right, the dork's trying to be everything to everybody,
[40:56.440 -> 40:57.840] which means he's about nothing.
[40:57.840 -> 40:59.680] So just the asshole, at least you can go,
[40:59.680 -> 41:00.520] I don't like that guy,
[41:00.520 -> 41:02.240] but man, at least I know where he stands.
[41:02.240 -> 41:03.120] You know what I mean?
[41:03.120 -> 41:05.160] I can try, give me that guy. You know what I mean? I can try, give me that guy.
[41:05.160 -> 41:06.000] You know what I mean?
[41:06.000 -> 41:09.440] So it's the dorks I don't like.
[41:09.440 -> 41:12.600] And people that maybe try to get into my life
[41:12.600 -> 41:15.640] that maybe have an alternative ambition
[41:15.640 -> 41:19.520] or do not really have their best intents for me.
[41:19.520 -> 41:21.800] Or maybe aren't willing to get to know me well enough
[41:21.800 -> 41:23.520] to actually promote the best of me,
[41:23.520 -> 41:24.480] which I think we all know that.
[41:24.480 -> 41:27.160] I think that's my definition of what a good friend does.
[41:27.160 -> 41:29.760] He knows you and he helps promote more of the best of you.
[41:29.760 -> 41:32.500] That's what my wife's got a real talent of doing for me.
[41:32.500 -> 41:34.500] And that doesn't mean she always says yes to me
[41:34.500 -> 41:35.660] and she disagrees and she's like,
[41:35.660 -> 41:38.360] no, I think this one, you're swinging out of bounds here.
[41:38.360 -> 41:40.960] This is, I think this is not for,
[41:40.960 -> 41:42.480] I know you're into new ideas, Matthew,
[41:42.480 -> 41:43.640] but this one you're out of bounds
[41:43.640 -> 41:48.260] or whatever that is, a career choice or something. And I don't I don't have a huge circle of close
[41:48.260 -> 41:53.740] friends. I have a lot of acquaintances, but I don't have I have a group of men that I'm
[41:53.740 -> 42:01.060] very good friends with that I call a fraternity of men that we all we naturally have. We are
[42:01.060 -> 42:06.240] all investigating ourselves. Who? How can we be better men? How can we be better fathers?
[42:06.240 -> 42:08.000] How can we be better husbands?
[42:08.000 -> 42:11.160] How can we also understand that we gotta work
[42:11.160 -> 42:12.360] and we gotta create?
[42:12.360 -> 42:14.440] Man's gotta create, so man has to have work.
[42:14.440 -> 42:16.760] Man has to have something that would go,
[42:16.760 -> 42:19.360] we have a different sense of accomplishment.
[42:19.360 -> 42:22.640] And I know I need sense of accomplishment.
[42:22.640 -> 42:23.800] I don't wanna be obsessed by it,
[42:23.800 -> 42:26.160] but I'm like, I do need to accomplish it to have my own feeling of accomplishment. I don't want to be obsessed by it, but I'm like, I do need to accomplish it
[42:26.160 -> 42:28.880] to have my own feeling of significance.
[42:28.880 -> 42:33.000] And so I like talking about people with big ideas.
[42:33.000 -> 42:34.560] And again, that long view, we were going back,
[42:34.560 -> 42:37.120] what are we really doing here, man?
[42:37.120 -> 42:39.000] What's really going on?
[42:39.000 -> 42:41.960] We break this down, you know?
[42:41.960 -> 42:44.520] Tell you who's super fun to have these conversations with,
[42:44.520 -> 42:46.480] fellow countryman, Guy Ritchie.
[42:46.480 -> 42:47.960] That guy never talked about the weather.
[42:47.960 -> 42:49.160] He's straight too.
[42:49.160 -> 42:51.200] All right, so you believe in God, let's talk about it.
[42:51.200 -> 42:54.200] Oh, and it's like, he likes to go big quick.
[42:54.200 -> 42:56.160] But I have a certain group of friends that we talk,
[42:56.160 -> 42:58.520] you know, we try to talk about the big things,
[42:58.520 -> 43:00.100] existential questions.
[43:00.100 -> 43:00.940] What is it all about?
[43:00.940 -> 43:01.780] What really matters?
[43:01.780 -> 43:02.680] What doesn't?
[43:02.680 -> 43:05.280] Given your background of coming from that blue collar
[43:06.120 -> 43:08.800] background that you've described about your father
[43:08.800 -> 43:10.800] and your mother and where you grew up,
[43:10.800 -> 43:14.280] those seem like untypical types of questions
[43:14.280 -> 43:16.920] that would be asked for somebody in that environment.
[43:16.920 -> 43:19.680] So how would you encourage our listeners
[43:19.680 -> 43:23.360] to start asking those questions and feel comfortable
[43:23.360 -> 43:26.760] that the benefits of asking them are gonna be worth it?
[43:26.760 -> 43:31.760] Yeah, because we were not an introspective family growing up.
[43:32.760 -> 43:34.580] We're not a well-read family.
[43:34.580 -> 43:36.280] We weren't allowed to watch TV.
[43:37.240 -> 43:39.760] My mom would kick us outside to make us go play outside
[43:39.760 -> 43:41.200] before we could read a book.
[43:41.200 -> 43:49.360] I mean, I don't know where the I don't know where why
[43:49.360 -> 43:53.200] I started questioning those things early. Um, but look, on a
[43:53.200 -> 43:55.440] very simple level, let's go back to what we're talking about
[43:55.440 -> 44:00.040] earlier that everybody that is going like, well, you know, for
[44:00.040 -> 44:02.480] whatever reason, I don't I'm not purchasing what you're talking
[44:02.480 -> 44:04.560] about, Makana. Hey, or maybe I don't understand it. Or maybe I
[44:04.560 -> 44:05.440] don't want to understand or maybe they're going, yeah, you're in about, McConaughey, or maybe I don't understand it, or maybe I don't wanna understand it,
[44:05.440 -> 44:06.280] or maybe they're going,
[44:06.280 -> 44:07.960] yeah, you're in a privileged position
[44:07.960 -> 44:10.700] to sit on a choice for 10 days, yes, and 10 days, no.
[44:10.700 -> 44:12.000] I gotta make the decision right now,
[44:12.000 -> 44:14.200] and I got three hours, whatever that may be.
[44:17.740 -> 44:21.040] What each of us can do is go,
[44:21.040 -> 44:25.000] do we want to be our more true self tomorrow?
[44:25.480 -> 44:27.720] Do we believe that life can have a bit
[44:27.720 -> 44:29.680] of an ascension of evolution?
[44:29.680 -> 44:32.360] I believe it can, or what the hell is time for, right?
[44:32.360 -> 44:36.720] I mean, can we, do we wanna be a little bit better,
[44:36.720 -> 44:38.200] a little bit more true?
[44:38.200 -> 44:39.840] All right, we ain't gotta solve it all right now,
[44:39.840 -> 44:41.960] but if we can look in the mirror and say,
[44:41.960 -> 44:45.540] hey, I'm gonna be a little more fair today.
[44:45.540 -> 44:47.680] I'm actually gonna be a little more respectful
[44:47.680 -> 44:49.360] of the work wife's been doing.
[44:49.360 -> 44:50.600] Geez, I've been doing the work, but I got it.
[44:50.600 -> 44:51.440] You know what?
[44:51.440 -> 44:54.120] She's really been taking care of this thing over here,
[44:54.120 -> 44:56.560] whether it be the kids or her own job.
[44:56.560 -> 44:57.880] I need to be more respectful of that.
[44:57.880 -> 44:59.680] I've been kind of riding over that,
[44:59.680 -> 45:00.960] taking that part for granted.
[45:00.960 -> 45:02.160] I'm gonna give that a little more respect
[45:02.160 -> 45:03.500] or I'm gonna be a little, yeah,
[45:03.500 -> 45:04.760] I'm gonna have a better sense of humor
[45:04.760 -> 45:05.960] than a good one to start with. I'm gonna get some of the things I'm getting a little bit ticked off about that. I'm gonna give that a little more respect or I'm gonna be a little, yeah, I'm gonna have a better sense of humor is a good one to start with.
[45:05.960 -> 45:07.000] I'm gonna get some of the things
[45:07.000 -> 45:08.520] I'm getting a little bit ticked off about there.
[45:08.520 -> 45:10.980] I'm gonna laugh actually instead of snapping.
[45:10.980 -> 45:12.000] I'm gonna giggle.
[45:12.000 -> 45:12.840] None of the big little things,
[45:12.840 -> 45:14.360] it can be a good thing for yourself.
[45:14.360 -> 45:16.200] All these I think are.
[45:16.200 -> 45:17.960] Just pick out a little something
[45:17.960 -> 45:21.160] that you can say you're gonna get a little bit better at
[45:21.160 -> 45:22.640] each day.
[45:22.640 -> 45:29.440] And that is really as good as it gets. I think we
[45:29.440 -> 45:32.600] got to get this thing out of our mind. We're obsessed with
[45:32.600 -> 45:37.680] results, man. We're upset. We got this idea. And look, I love
[45:37.680 -> 45:40.760] the chase results. I'm a big fan. I write the headline first
[45:40.760 -> 45:43.040] and then try to live the story towards it many times and have
[45:43.040 -> 45:45.000] pulled it off. But at the same time, what do I find
[45:45.000 -> 45:46.000] when I get to the headline?
[45:46.000 -> 45:48.000] Oh, the story still continues.
[45:48.000 -> 45:50.000] It wasn't. We have no ta-da moment
[45:50.000 -> 45:53.000] where we go, ah, I did it.
[45:53.000 -> 45:54.000] Now I finally arrived.
[45:54.000 -> 45:56.000] That moment never comes.
[45:56.000 -> 45:58.000] Once you think you get there,
[45:58.000 -> 46:02.000] it opens up another 40 lanes in your highway
[46:02.000 -> 46:03.000] of places to go.
[46:03.000 -> 46:07.580] It doesn't get thinner in many ways.
[46:07.580 -> 46:09.380] The direction, you may get further down the line,
[46:09.380 -> 46:10.820] so your direction may be more clear,
[46:10.820 -> 46:13.180] but it doesn't get, there's not fewer options.
[46:13.180 -> 46:14.560] So if we can just ask ourself,
[46:14.560 -> 46:15.680] if we can be a little bit better,
[46:15.680 -> 46:17.420] can I be a little bit better at this?
[46:17.420 -> 46:18.520] I want to be a little bit better at this more.
[46:18.520 -> 46:19.600] Small increment.
[46:19.600 -> 46:21.360] And if we can just keep doing that,
[46:21.360 -> 46:23.560] commit to the chase, stay in the race
[46:23.560 -> 46:26.240] of trying to be a little bit more better, a little more true to ourselves.
[46:26.480 -> 46:29.640] Hop out of ourselves from time to time, a week ahead of us.
[46:29.720 -> 46:32.520] How's that decision gonna look to me next Friday? How's it
[46:32.520 -> 46:35.360] gonna look next month, next year? See how far away you can
[46:35.360 -> 46:36.680] come? How much because everyone's got a different
[46:36.680 -> 46:39.200] threshold for how far out they can project themselves. If you
[46:39.200 -> 46:41.840] want to tell somebody go out a year, that's too far for a lot
[46:41.840 -> 46:43.880] of people. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Some people you can
[46:43.880 -> 46:45.800] say they can go off to the eulogy
[46:45.800 -> 46:48.200] and say, yeah, that's where I want to look back from.
[46:48.200 -> 46:49.560] But as far as you can get ahead of yourself,
[46:49.560 -> 46:51.640] just try to have a little objective look back and go,
[46:51.640 -> 46:53.960] what am I going to think about this decision tomorrow?
[46:53.960 -> 46:54.800] I'm going to go for it.
[46:54.800 -> 46:57.200] You can do that, man, everyone can do that.
[46:57.200 -> 46:59.800] You can do that, that's as good as it gets.
[46:59.800 -> 47:03.000] I think we're all chasing yet.
[47:03.000 -> 47:07.780] And if we realize that we never are going to arrive, that's the point.
[47:07.780 -> 47:15.940] There is no yet. It's always yet. And then if we can go, ah, life's a verb. It's the
[47:15.940 -> 47:20.360] process. Shit, that's as good as it gets. All right, I'm in.
[47:20.360 -> 47:24.520] So when you stepped up on that stage and received the Oscar then, because I think that's a really
[47:24.520 -> 47:25.680] powerful message that you're giving that there's no ta-da moment. So when you stepped up on that stage and received the Oscar then, because I think that's a really powerful message that you're giving,
[47:25.680 -> 47:27.520] that there's no ta-da moment.
[47:27.520 -> 47:33.680] So when you're winning what is regarded as the ultimate accolade in your industry,
[47:33.680 -> 47:35.280] what were you feeling?
[47:35.280 -> 47:40.160] I was feeling first, validation from my peers, all right?
[47:40.160 -> 47:43.920] Second, that Mike, to go back to that word we started off with, translation.
[47:43.920 -> 47:48.960] I remember going, like, you performed your craft,
[47:48.960 -> 47:52.360] your art, Matthew, to such an extent
[47:52.360 -> 47:54.720] that it translated to people and your peers
[47:54.720 -> 47:56.120] who are great at what they do,
[47:56.120 -> 47:58.720] and they deemed you to have done the most excellent job
[47:58.720 -> 48:00.760] at this of anyone in the whole year.
[48:00.760 -> 48:03.640] Boy, that's finite translation.
[48:03.640 -> 48:06.000] Boy, those times, it was like, you intended to do something,
[48:06.000 -> 48:09.000] to tell such a truth on a man
[48:09.000 -> 48:12.300] by embodying him through this character
[48:12.300 -> 48:16.600] that other people saw themselves in that man
[48:16.600 -> 48:18.300] and saw themselves in me as that man.
[48:18.300 -> 48:23.000] Other people saw humanity to an extent that was so precise
[48:23.000 -> 48:26.280] that they went, yes, that's great work.
[48:26.280 -> 48:28.880] That's craftsmanship, yes.
[48:28.880 -> 48:32.680] So that was a pinnacle in my career as an actor.
[48:32.680 -> 48:33.680] Did it give me confidence?
[48:33.680 -> 48:34.520] Sure.
[48:34.520 -> 48:37.680] Did it make me go, see, you were right to hold out
[48:37.680 -> 48:39.160] for that two years of not working
[48:39.160 -> 48:40.440] when you were just doing rom-com.
[48:40.440 -> 48:42.960] You were right to prepare so hard to come in
[48:42.960 -> 48:46.000] and be the master of your man and stand up for your man and tell people,
[48:46.000 -> 48:53.000] uh-uh, he's mine. I'm not asking permission. He's mine. I own him. I know.
[48:53.000 -> 48:57.000] Boy, I'm glad you had that confidence to do that and believe that, Matthew, at that time.
[48:57.000 -> 49:05.360] Because look, it translated. Once again, the deeper I went to the I, the more it became relatable to the wee.
[49:05.360 -> 49:08.000] You know, it reminds me of a really nice quote in your book
[49:08.000 -> 49:10.720] where you talk about reaching beyond your grasp.
[49:10.720 -> 49:13.200] You said have immortal finish lines
[49:13.200 -> 49:14.720] and turn your red lights green
[49:14.720 -> 49:17.040] because a roof is a man-made thing.
[49:17.600 -> 49:18.800] I love that one.
[49:18.800 -> 49:20.160] You know the story of Icarus, right?
[49:20.720 -> 49:21.920] Flying too close to the sun,
[49:22.480 -> 49:24.080] and his son go off the wax wings,
[49:24.080 -> 49:26.080] then they get, you're going to get too close to the sun, and the sun go up the wax wings, then they get, you're gonna get too close to the sun,
[49:26.080 -> 49:28.780] their wings wax, holding their wings melt.
[49:29.860 -> 49:31.760] I think we suffer from the opposite.
[49:32.880 -> 49:34.720] When we think in our mind,
[49:34.720 -> 49:36.600] oh, I'm getting too close to the sun,
[49:36.600 -> 49:40.320] oh, this is too much, this is the peak of my ability.
[49:40.320 -> 49:43.800] Man, it ain't even close to melting.
[49:43.800 -> 49:44.640] You know what I mean?
[49:44.640 -> 49:47.800] I think our roofs are so much more immortal.
[49:47.800 -> 49:50.600] And when we put our roots and our limitations on ourselves,
[49:50.600 -> 49:53.580] that's, we mortally do those to ourselves.
[49:53.580 -> 49:54.680] You know, you see what's happening
[49:54.680 -> 49:55.960] to the 11th percent of ourselves.
[49:55.960 -> 49:58.800] We have so much further to go
[49:58.800 -> 50:01.040] than we allow ourselves to believe.
[50:01.040 -> 50:01.880] And that's why I put in the book,
[50:01.880 -> 50:04.160] also I hate that word, unbelievable.
[50:04.160 -> 50:08.200] No, we have these limitations that we put on ourselves
[50:08.200 -> 50:11.480] that are really not our right to put on ourselves.
[50:11.480 -> 50:12.520] Where the hell do we get off?
[50:12.520 -> 50:14.200] It's an arrogant thing.
[50:14.200 -> 50:15.520] Let's let me invert it.
[50:15.520 -> 50:18.060] I think it's arrogant to actually say,
[50:18.060 -> 50:20.560] no, no, that's as good, that's as much as I can do.
[50:20.560 -> 50:21.400] That's as good as I can be.
[50:21.400 -> 50:23.560] That's as true as I can be.
[50:23.560 -> 50:24.400] What?
[50:24.400 -> 50:25.000] Dude, wait, what are you talking about?
[50:25.000 -> 50:28.000] You have to, you know, we think it's like the fourth quarter
[50:28.000 -> 50:30.000] or the end of the second half of the pitch.
[50:30.000 -> 50:33.000] You're like, dude, the game just started.
[50:33.000 -> 50:36.000] Don't be so flattered with yourself.
[50:36.000 -> 50:39.000] You know what I mean? It's like, oh, you thought you were,
[50:39.000 -> 50:42.000] while you were sitting there, you're already looking at the jumbotron like this.
[50:42.000 -> 50:46.040] Guess what? Everyone else is running past you while you're admiring your work.
[50:46.040 -> 50:48.120] No, raise the fricking roof, man.
[50:48.120 -> 50:49.680] You know, in the reach beyond the grasp
[50:49.680 -> 50:51.840] of when do we get tight?
[50:51.840 -> 50:54.120] So Matthew, what do you tell our listeners then?
[50:54.120 -> 50:55.840] How do you dream?
[50:55.840 -> 50:59.600] How do you set these big aspirations for yourself?
[51:00.440 -> 51:02.440] I don't really, I don't know how,
[51:02.440 -> 51:03.960] I don't, you know, I don't know how much it is
[51:03.960 -> 51:05.000] that I chase a result.
[51:06.720 -> 51:09.160] It seems to me that it's a dance between the two.
[51:09.160 -> 51:10.800] Sometimes I said earlier, as I said earlier,
[51:10.800 -> 51:14.100] write the headline, set the goal up, go chase it,
[51:14.100 -> 51:15.480] write the story towards it.
[51:15.480 -> 51:17.720] But other times, and I don't think just as much
[51:17.720 -> 51:21.400] or maybe more, I take a risk that I feel like,
[51:21.400 -> 51:24.600] oh, this could be valuable and I'm willing to pay the cost
[51:24.600 -> 51:25.920] of whatever the consequences are
[51:25.920 -> 51:26.840] and I'm gonna learn to fly
[51:26.840 -> 51:28.940] while I'm after I've jumped off the cliff.
[51:30.160 -> 51:33.280] So I think my, I know my successes have been a balance
[51:33.280 -> 51:37.200] of those two, meeting the woman for me, Camilla.
[51:37.200 -> 51:41.760] I found she came to me when I quit looking for her.
[51:41.760 -> 51:44.520] I had this written down, I wanna find that woman for me
[51:44.520 -> 51:45.760] and then she's out there, I'm going looking for her. I had this written down, I want to find that woman for me and she's out there
[51:45.760 -> 51:51.160] I'm going looking for. Shit, once I'm looking at every red light and the produce section
[51:51.160 -> 51:58.320] and the checkout counter and everybody, I said, stop that. Once I shook hands with going,
[51:58.320 -> 52:03.880] you can be an 88 year old bachelor and it's okay. Quit trying to make something different
[52:03.880 -> 52:06.160] happen. Well, as soon as I did that,
[52:06.160 -> 52:07.360] guess who showed up?
[52:07.360 -> 52:08.340] Love it.
[52:08.340 -> 52:10.920] Is there something else I want to pick up on in your book?
[52:10.920 -> 52:12.360] Take a road trip.
[52:12.360 -> 52:14.120] Why is that so important?
[52:14.120 -> 52:16.480] My favorite seat for thought
[52:16.480 -> 52:18.600] has always been behind the wheel of whatever truck
[52:18.600 -> 52:21.320] I'm driving.
[52:21.320 -> 52:24.520] Something about performing this very simple motor skill
[52:24.520 -> 52:26.300] is your foot's on the pedal.
[52:26.300 -> 52:28.360] You haven't thought about your foot being on the pedal,
[52:28.360 -> 52:30.640] but you're maintaining a certain speed.
[52:30.640 -> 52:31.840] Your hand's on the wheel.
[52:31.840 -> 52:33.560] You haven't really thought about staying in the lane,
[52:33.560 -> 52:34.920] but you're in the lane.
[52:34.920 -> 52:37.880] The motor skill opens up imagination.
[52:37.880 -> 52:40.800] And I think it's like just having
[52:40.800 -> 52:42.080] that little simple motor skill
[52:42.080 -> 52:43.600] that you don't have to think about doing
[52:43.600 -> 52:49.600] that opens up a creative side. And it's in motion. I like to be in motion. Even now, I usually don't sit down.
[52:49.600 -> 52:53.120] When I'm on, when I'm doing calls, it's not as if I'm, I like to walk. I just, I just do.
[52:53.840 -> 53:01.920] But a road trip to slowly snake across a continent or a nation, see new sights,
[53:05.000 -> 53:06.920] to see new sites, to not be obsessed with,
[53:11.640 -> 53:13.600] I gotta be there by, to the transient nature, hey, I got an itch I wanna pull off over here,
[53:13.600 -> 53:15.840] pull off over here, check this out.
[53:15.840 -> 53:18.320] That's where I met so many interesting people.
[53:18.320 -> 53:20.840] That's where I got into some wild scenarios
[53:20.840 -> 53:24.040] that were, you know, some are in the book, some are not.
[53:27.680 -> 53:30.960] That's where I wandered, you know, across places like that place in Montana, that night when I came across that lodge.
[53:31.680 -> 53:35.440] Wow, which was a beautiful, heartbreaking story. But I
[53:35.440 -> 53:40.160] don't know, I just always like exploring and a road trip. You
[53:40.160 -> 53:44.880] know, I learned more about my home when I take a road trip,
[53:45.960 -> 53:46.400] and leave it.
[53:52.280 -> 53:52.440] Talking of your home, you said you've got a group of guys and you talk about how to be the best parents, the best dads you can be.
[53:53.800 -> 53:57.840] What have you learned in that space? This is something we discuss often on this podcast, the power of parenting.
[53:58.440 -> 54:02.120] Well, the only thing I ever knew I wanted to be was a father.
[54:03.200 -> 54:06.240] But like any father learns right away is
[54:06.240 -> 54:07.800] being a father is a whole lot,
[54:07.800 -> 54:10.080] about a whole lot more than just making a baby.
[54:10.080 -> 54:12.560] Ha ha ha ha ha.
[54:12.560 -> 54:14.280] You know, fatherhood is a verb.
[54:14.280 -> 54:17.040] I mean, it starts after you made the baby.
[54:17.040 -> 54:19.600] And so, what's the first thing I noticed?
[54:19.600 -> 54:20.840] I think every parent notices,
[54:20.840 -> 54:23.320] oh, it's more DNA than I thought.
[54:23.320 -> 54:26.320] You know, they kind of are who they are, okay.
[54:26.320 -> 54:27.640] I really thought it was environment.
[54:27.640 -> 54:28.760] No, they are who they are.
[54:28.760 -> 54:30.640] And I can shepherd them, I can nudge them,
[54:30.640 -> 54:33.040] I can put the things in front of them
[54:33.040 -> 54:35.720] that turn them on, that they love,
[54:35.720 -> 54:38.440] and I can remove things in front of them that harm them,
[54:38.440 -> 54:40.240] but ooh, I don't wanna remove everything
[54:40.240 -> 54:41.440] in front of them that harms them,
[54:41.440 -> 54:43.960] because they need to learn.
[54:43.960 -> 54:47.760] So, well, let me remove the, you know, I call it the,
[54:47.760 -> 54:49.140] like how high is the tree limb?
[54:49.140 -> 54:51.960] Kids aren't afraid of heights until they fall.
[54:51.960 -> 54:53.320] So they're out there on the tree limb
[54:53.320 -> 54:55.040] and you're like going, dude, you're not pretty high,
[54:55.040 -> 54:57.100] but if you fall from this one,
[54:57.100 -> 54:59.100] we might be going to the emergency room.
[54:59.100 -> 55:00.320] You know what I mean?
[55:00.320 -> 55:02.240] Well, you know, you kind of go,
[55:02.240 -> 55:03.720] well, if you fall from this one,
[55:03.720 -> 55:05.680] you're gonna get bumped and bruised
[55:05.680 -> 55:07.560] and at least it's on the grass down there.
[55:07.560 -> 55:09.480] I'll let you take your chances.
[55:09.480 -> 55:10.840] Then they get to a certain height,
[55:10.840 -> 55:13.520] and you're like, whoa, buddy, if you fall from there,
[55:13.520 -> 55:15.600] my heart's skipping a beat right now.
[55:15.600 -> 55:16.880] I need to, you gotta just say,
[55:16.880 -> 55:19.400] hey, come on back over here, check this out.
[55:19.400 -> 55:21.040] I want to remove that harm, you know,
[55:21.040 -> 55:22.720] that harm that could really harm them,
[55:22.720 -> 55:26.480] but not remove enough that they're not gonna learn that
[55:26.920 -> 55:33.360] life is a rodeo, you got to negotiate to their return. And
[55:33.360 -> 55:36.800] it's on you, you know, let them get in the argument on a
[55:36.800 -> 55:40.160] playground. Go at it, work it out. You have bullies are all
[55:40.160 -> 55:43.320] over the world, man, deal with it. Oh, you don't want to. Okay,
[55:43.320 -> 55:45.280] you don't want to get in a fight. I got a son who's a
[55:45.280 -> 55:48.480] pastor. Great. Not asking you to, but you're smarter than
[55:48.480 -> 55:49.960] that kid. So outwit him.
[55:50.400 -> 55:53.520] How does your financial success affect your mindset with your
[55:53.520 -> 55:56.040] kids in terms of developing resilience for them? Because
[55:56.480 -> 55:58.560] they're kids that will always have a parachute, aren't they?
[55:58.880 -> 56:01.640] Great question. And it's something that my wife and I
[56:01.640 -> 56:05.700] talk about often, because our kids are born into an affluence
[56:05.700 -> 56:07.100] that neither one of us were.
[56:08.120 -> 56:11.100] And I don't want them to be falsely modest
[56:11.100 -> 56:11.940] about that affluence.
[56:11.940 -> 56:14.240] I don't want them to be ashamed of that affluent,
[56:14.240 -> 56:16.740] but I also don't want them to be soft
[56:16.740 -> 56:18.840] because of that affluence.
[56:18.840 -> 56:21.640] So what we try to do is say,
[56:23.420 -> 56:25.920] like a kid at school the other day tells my son,
[56:25.920 -> 56:28.180] yeah, I bet you live in a big house
[56:28.180 -> 56:30.680] because your dad's rich and famous.
[56:30.680 -> 56:31.520] And so what'd you say to him?
[56:31.520 -> 56:34.420] He goes, I said, well, yeah, we do have a nice house.
[56:34.420 -> 56:35.260] I go, did you bow your head?
[56:35.260 -> 56:36.100] He goes, yeah, I lowered my head a little bit.
[56:36.100 -> 56:38.520] I was like, uh-uh, you keep your head high.
[56:38.520 -> 56:40.140] You're not being arrogant, but you tell him,
[56:40.140 -> 56:41.680] yes, we do live in a big house.
[56:41.680 -> 56:43.660] My dad happens to be rich and famous
[56:43.660 -> 56:45.380] because he's really good at what he does and he works really hard at it. And that work he's put in has helped in a big house. My dad happens to be rich and famous because he's really good at what he does,
[56:45.380 -> 56:47.240] and he works really hard at it.
[56:47.240 -> 56:49.820] And that work he's put in has helped get us that house.
[56:49.820 -> 56:51.980] So I said, don't you lower your eyes on that.
[56:51.980 -> 56:53.820] Also, don't ever look down on somebody
[56:53.820 -> 56:55.580] if they got a smaller house or don't.
[56:55.580 -> 56:56.420] It's not about that.
[56:56.420 -> 56:57.880] It's about owning our influence,
[56:57.880 -> 57:00.220] but saying, again, because of the work.
[57:00.220 -> 57:02.100] A great lesson came when I won that
[57:03.400 -> 57:05.640] trophy for Academy Award, Best Actor.
[57:05.640 -> 57:07.440] Kids go, what's the trophy for?
[57:07.440 -> 57:09.480] I said, you remember a year and a half ago
[57:09.480 -> 57:11.440] when Papa was working and you got real skinny
[57:11.440 -> 57:12.920] and you said he looked like a giraffe
[57:12.920 -> 57:13.760] because his neck was so skinny?
[57:13.760 -> 57:14.580] He's like, yeah.
[57:14.580 -> 57:16.440] I go, well, remember how you'd wake up in the morning
[57:16.440 -> 57:17.920] and I'd already be at work?
[57:17.920 -> 57:20.120] And I'd be gone all day and then get back home at night.
[57:20.120 -> 57:22.960] And I go, the work that I was doing each day
[57:22.960 -> 57:28.600] in that month and a half, my peers deemed to be excellent and gave me a trophy for what I did a year
[57:28.600 -> 57:31.100] and a half ago. They gave me a trophy for it today.
[57:31.540 -> 57:34.740] So that idea of delayed gratification, I saw a click.
[57:35.100 -> 57:37.840] Oh, so you can do something now and be rewarded for it tomorrow.
[57:37.840 -> 57:40.100] I was like, bingo. Yes.
[57:41.240 -> 57:42.560] Yes, you can.
[57:42.560 -> 57:47.240] And so they have a lot of affluence.
[57:47.240 -> 57:48.800] I still want them to be kind.
[57:48.800 -> 57:50.360] They got to have their manners.
[57:50.360 -> 57:52.120] I wanted to be, they're so conscientious.
[57:52.120 -> 57:56.520] I wanted to be autonomous and self thinkers
[57:56.520 -> 58:00.440] at the same time, I don't like poorly behaved kids.
[58:00.440 -> 58:02.760] And we don't allow that.
[58:02.760 -> 58:04.920] And what do you value?
[58:04.920 -> 58:05.840] We're glad we got the house, but don't think that. And what do you value? We're glad we got the house,
[58:05.840 -> 58:07.840] but don't think that this is just what you get.
[58:07.840 -> 58:11.040] Do you understand why we have this nice house?
[58:11.040 -> 58:14.180] Do you understand why our pantry's full at COVID?
[58:14.180 -> 58:16.280] And do you understand that there are people out there
[58:16.280 -> 58:19.520] right now, COVID, whose pantry are not full?
[58:19.520 -> 58:21.360] And they need to find a job to put something
[58:21.360 -> 58:23.320] in the damn pantry, and they can't find one.
[58:23.320 -> 58:24.800] Do you understand that?
[58:24.800 -> 58:25.000] So we try to remind them, hopefully we're doing a good enough job need to find a job to put something in the damn pantry and they can't find one. Do you understand that?
[58:25.000 -> 58:26.600] So we try to remind them,
[58:26.600 -> 58:27.680] hopefully we're doing a good enough job
[58:27.680 -> 58:28.760] at anywhere we go in the world
[58:28.760 -> 58:31.280] to go to different schools or orphanages
[58:31.280 -> 58:32.840] and try to help out just to see,
[58:32.840 -> 58:36.060] hey, this ain't now, everybody's got it.
[58:36.060 -> 58:38.900] So respect this, do not take this for granted.
[58:38.900 -> 58:41.760] And again, always going back to,
[58:41.760 -> 58:44.160] it's because of the work you do,
[58:44.160 -> 58:45.760] what kind of work you do.
[58:45.760 -> 58:47.040] And if you do really good work
[58:47.040 -> 58:50.500] and you can supply something that's in demand in life,
[58:50.500 -> 58:51.900] and you could supply a good product,
[58:51.900 -> 58:55.500] whatever that product is, an actual product or yourself,
[58:55.500 -> 58:58.280] then you can possibly make a living at it.
[58:58.280 -> 58:59.120] Brilliant.
[58:59.120 -> 59:02.960] Look, Matthew, we've reached the end of our conversation
[59:02.960 -> 59:07.180] and we always finish with our guests on this podcast with some quickfire questions
[59:08.160 -> 59:14.780] Your three non-negotiable behaviors that the people around you have to buy into don't lie
[59:15.640 -> 59:24.120] Don't say hey, don't say can't non-negotiable. What advice would you give a teenage Matthew just starting out? I love that you always
[59:28.760 -> 59:29.560] Thinking about the future thinking about getting older.
[59:31.360 -> 59:32.080] But trust it, that's coming anyway.
[59:33.440 -> 59:34.160] Enjoy being 15.
[59:35.560 -> 59:38.200] Those pimples will be gone.
[59:38.960 -> 59:39.400] Are you happy?
[59:40.120 -> 59:41.000] Am I happy?
[59:41.800 -> 59:42.680] Got a lot of joy.
[59:48.960 -> 59:54.600] I find joy in doing things that I feel like I'm fashioned to do. Happiness is to me is a bit of one of those result-oriented destinations that I think
[59:54.600 -> 59:59.320] we kind of falsely pursue as a place.
[59:59.320 -> 01:00:02.120] When joy, something about joy is more of a verb for me.
[01:00:02.120 -> 01:00:05.060] Joy is more of like, no, it's the art of doing
[01:00:05.060 -> 01:00:06.980] what you're fashioned to do in a way
[01:00:06.980 -> 01:00:09.440] that it's got reciprocity to it.
[01:00:09.440 -> 01:00:11.620] You can find joy in the doing.
[01:00:11.620 -> 01:00:13.380] More so, I find more joy in the doing
[01:00:13.380 -> 01:00:15.780] than I do in the having done.
[01:00:15.780 -> 01:00:18.100] How important is legacy to you?
[01:00:18.100 -> 01:00:20.340] It's getting more and more important.
[01:00:20.340 -> 01:00:22.540] It's getting more and more important.
[01:00:22.540 -> 01:00:26.640] And, you know, they say,
[01:00:26.640 -> 01:00:28.360] what kind of shadow do you want to leave?
[01:00:28.360 -> 01:00:29.960] You know, what kind of light do you want to leave?
[01:00:29.960 -> 01:00:32.940] What are those solar powered eternal green lights
[01:00:32.940 -> 01:00:34.640] that we want to leave, not only in this life,
[01:00:34.640 -> 01:00:36.480] but after we're gone?
[01:00:36.480 -> 01:00:38.880] You know, our foundation,
[01:00:38.880 -> 01:00:40.520] hope to hand that over to my children
[01:00:40.520 -> 01:00:43.240] and then they run the foundation after we're gone.
[01:00:43.240 -> 01:00:44.960] Trying to build things now
[01:00:44.960 -> 01:00:47.240] and make choices to do things that I go,
[01:00:47.280 -> 01:00:50.440] Oh, that's going to live on. That's something you want to pass on.
[01:00:50.480 -> 01:00:54.000] You can keep that garden. Can you can continue to tend,
[01:00:54.000 -> 01:00:56.200] you can hand it down to other gardeners,
[01:00:56.240 -> 01:01:00.440] proverbial gardeners of that thing to tend it after you are gone and they will
[01:01:00.460 -> 01:01:04.080] want to, and can it build, maybe it doesn't fade off after you fade away.
[01:01:04.120 -> 01:01:11.760] Maybe it encompasses more, maybe its roots go wider and deeper. And so that's that's some things I consider
[01:01:11.760 -> 01:01:17.600] the choices I make today, which are considering legacy. And finally, your one golden rule to leave
[01:01:17.600 -> 01:01:25.320] our listeners with for living a high performance life. Well, look, the easiest one is this just keep living. All
[01:01:25.320 -> 01:01:28.040] right. The alternative sucks.
[01:01:30.840 -> 01:01:32.560] And I will say on golden rules
[01:01:32.560 -> 01:01:34.340] though. It's another one my
[01:01:34.340 -> 01:01:35.960] mother's big on the golden rule
[01:01:36.000 -> 01:01:36.840] do unto others you would have
[01:01:36.840 -> 01:01:38.040] them do unto you. I found a
[01:01:38.040 -> 01:01:40.400] loophole in that too. Mom, not
[01:01:40.400 -> 01:01:41.280] everybody wants to do what you
[01:01:41.280 -> 01:01:41.800] want to do.
[01:01:50.000 -> 01:01:54.080] Listen, thank you so much for your time, Matthew. Sitting and talking to you, it strikes me that you're someone who's realized that every
[01:01:54.080 -> 01:01:56.340] single action in your life has a consequence.
[01:01:56.340 -> 01:01:58.760] You talk about leaving crumbs, not leaving crumbs.
[01:01:58.760 -> 01:02:02.840] And I think as soon as we all realize that, instead of thinking of the big thing that's
[01:02:02.840 -> 01:02:05.440] five miles down the road,
[01:02:05.440 -> 01:02:08.820] focus on the tiny thing in front of us, because that is the thing that will have a consequence
[01:02:08.820 -> 01:02:12.920] for the next step and the step after that. And it's an absolute pleasure to sit and talk
[01:02:12.920 -> 01:02:13.920] to you.
[01:02:13.920 -> 01:02:18.520] Step at a time with the big picture in mind. Yeah. Enjoy talking to you, man.
[01:02:18.520 -> 01:02:23.320] Thanks very much. And listen, thanks for everything you've done and then for putting it down in
[01:02:23.320 -> 01:02:28.480] green lights. And if you're listening to this podcast, please, it's not Christmas yet.
[01:02:28.480 -> 01:02:33.400] Go out and buy it for someone and you might just give them some inspiration for 2021.
[01:02:33.400 -> 01:02:35.200] Goodness knows we all need it.
[01:02:35.200 -> 01:02:36.520] Matthew, thank you very much.
[01:02:36.520 -> 01:02:39.880] All the very best post-COVID out there in the United States.
[01:02:39.880 -> 01:02:41.560] And we really appreciate your time.
[01:02:41.560 -> 01:02:42.480] You all as well.
[01:02:42.480 -> 01:02:44.560] Maybe see you in person next time or not.
[01:02:44.560 -> 01:02:45.960] But until then.
[01:02:49.160 -> 01:02:50.080] Damien.
[01:02:50.080 -> 01:02:50.960] Jake.
[01:02:50.960 -> 01:02:54.080] Well, look, we're recording this late in the evening
[01:02:54.080 -> 01:02:57.080] in the UK, Matthew is back home in the States.
[01:02:57.080 -> 01:02:59.000] You can feel the energy though,
[01:02:59.000 -> 01:03:00.840] transmitting from the United States
[01:03:00.840 -> 01:03:02.360] to the United Kingdom, can't you?
[01:03:02.360 -> 01:03:03.240] Yeah, definitely.
[01:03:03.240 -> 01:03:06.040] I think I sometimes call it the Gandhi rule on this
[01:03:06.040 -> 01:03:08.280] because Gandhi said that complete harmony comes
[01:03:08.280 -> 01:03:09.880] from when your words, your thoughts
[01:03:09.880 -> 01:03:12.280] and your actions are all aligned.
[01:03:12.280 -> 01:03:15.520] And he's definitely a man that, as we said
[01:03:15.520 -> 01:03:18.280] in the introduction, he's translated common sense
[01:03:18.280 -> 01:03:21.320] into common practice behaviours.
[01:03:21.320 -> 01:03:23.320] And that's what he starts, his words
[01:03:23.320 -> 01:03:25.200] and just the way he lives his life.
[01:03:25.200 -> 01:03:29.000] And what I think is brilliant is that there will be people listening to this going, well, of course, he's happy.
[01:03:29.000 -> 01:03:30.200] And of course, he's successful.
[01:03:30.200 -> 01:03:33.100] And of course, he's done well because he's Matthew McConaughey.
[01:03:33.100 -> 01:03:38.600] But he's only Matthew McConaughey, the actor who we all know, because of those decisions that he's made.
[01:03:38.600 -> 01:03:44.400] Like he clearly takes absolute responsibility for his parenting, for his career,
[01:03:44.400 -> 01:03:46.280] for his relationship with his wife,
[01:03:46.280 -> 01:03:48.520] for approaching things in the right way.
[01:03:48.520 -> 01:03:49.920] He thinks about everything.
[01:03:49.920 -> 01:03:54.240] There's no element of just floating through, is there?
[01:03:54.240 -> 01:03:55.080] No, definitely.
[01:03:55.080 -> 01:03:57.360] And I think that's, it's a really good point you made,
[01:03:57.360 -> 01:04:00.080] Jake, that I think we get blinded by the outcomes
[01:04:00.080 -> 01:04:02.040] that is, you know, he's an Oscar winning actor,
[01:04:02.040 -> 01:04:06.240] but the process that he put into pursuing that acting career when he chose to move away from a career in the law, yw'n actor sy'n gynorthwyol, ond y broses y mae'n ei roi i'w ddod o'r carrer gwaith
[01:04:06.240 -> 01:04:11.200] pan ddewisodd i'w mynd allan o'r carrer yn y law, mae'r un yw'r un y mae'n ei wneud nawr pan
[01:04:11.200 -> 01:04:16.160] ddecidiodd ei fod yn mynd i'w dynnu ar ffilm, mae'r syniad o gynnyrchu, cymryd amser i
[01:04:16.160 -> 01:04:20.000] ymdrechu ar y peth a y bydd yn bod yn hapus, a y bydd yn mwynhau, ac yna'n cymryd
[01:04:20.000 -> 01:04:27.680] yn gyhoeddi'r peth, oedd rhywbeth sy mae wedi'i wneud yn ymlaen yn y blaen, gan fod ffame, fortune a prestigi wedi'i gael.
[01:04:27.680 -> 01:04:32.480] Wel, rwy'n mwynhau'n fawr, roedd yn ddiddorol iawn i'w sôn a chwarae gyda chi fel
[01:04:32.480 -> 01:04:34.000] byd. Diolch yn fawr, fyne.
[01:04:34.000 -> 01:04:37.840] Na, diolch, fyne. Roedd hwn yn ddiddorol iawn, rwy'n mwynhau'n fawr.
[01:04:41.600 -> 01:04:45.400] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn, nid yw'n i? Mlyneddio'r sg to the conversation with Matthew McConaughey
[01:04:45.400 -> 01:04:49.160] and I can't wait to see what people think of it. But the reaction to the Billy Munger
[01:04:49.160 -> 01:04:51.600] episode from last week, Damien, has also been really interesting.
[01:04:51.600 -> 01:04:58.680] Great. I think people have been listening to a 19 year old boy delivering wisdom that
[01:04:58.680 -> 01:05:06.720] it takes many of us a lifetime to acquire has been really quite significant for a lot of people.
[01:05:06.720 -> 01:05:11.760] We had a message here saying, Billy Munger, what an inspiration to us all. Everyone should
[01:05:11.760 -> 01:05:15.760] listen to this. Don't let disabilities or setbacks in life stop you from living life
[01:05:15.760 -> 01:05:19.840] to its fullest and achieving your goals and dreams. That's from Mark Bold. And what I
[01:05:19.840 -> 01:05:24.520] like about that is that I am acutely aware that sometimes you and I sit on this podcast
[01:05:24.520 -> 01:05:25.300] and tell people to recover from setbacks and crack on withely aware that sometimes you and I sit on this podcast and tell people
[01:05:25.300 -> 01:05:27.460] to recover from setbacks and crack on with life.
[01:05:27.460 -> 01:05:29.620] Well, you and me have had some setbacks,
[01:05:29.620 -> 01:05:31.780] but nothing like what Billy's been through.
[01:05:31.780 -> 01:05:34.220] So when Billy sits here and says, listen,
[01:05:34.220 -> 01:05:35.500] there's a great line where he said, you know,
[01:05:35.500 -> 01:05:37.700] I'm still me, like I might've lost my legs,
[01:05:37.700 -> 01:05:39.100] but I'm still me.
[01:05:39.100 -> 01:05:40.580] It's a great lesson for people.
[01:05:40.580 -> 01:05:41.460] Yeah, definitely.
[01:05:41.460 -> 01:05:43.660] I was reminded when, when he was talking a couple
[01:05:43.660 -> 01:05:45.000] of years ago, I snapped my Achilles and I found myself on crutches for about three months. Ie, yn siŵr. Roeddwn i'n golygu pan oedd yn siarad, ychydig mlynedd yn ôl, roeddwn i'n snabio fy achillys
[01:05:45.000 -> 01:05:49.000] ac roeddwn i'n troi fy hun ar crocs am ddau mlynedd.
[01:05:49.000 -> 01:05:51.000] Roeddwn i'n ymdrech ar y pryd
[01:05:51.000 -> 01:05:55.000] nad oeddwn i'n gweld bywyd drwy'r oedran o rywun sy'n anodd,
[01:05:55.000 -> 01:05:59.000] fel mynd i'r taxi neu mynd i'r cyrbau a phethau fel hynny.
[01:05:59.000 -> 01:06:04.000] Roedd e'n rhoi cymorth i mi o'r strydau rhai o bobl.
[01:06:04.000 -> 01:06:05.520] Ac yr hyn rwy'n ei ddarlud, mae'n ddiddorol iawn, ond mae'n ddiddorol iawn. Roedd yn ddiddorol iawn, ond roedd yn ddiddorol iawn.
[01:06:05.520 -> 01:06:06.480] Roedd yn ddiddorol iawn,
[01:06:06.480 -> 01:06:07.520] ond roedd yn ddiddorol iawn.
[01:06:07.520 -> 01:06:08.320] Roedd yn ddiddorol iawn,
[01:06:08.320 -> 01:06:09.360] ond roedd yn ddiddorol iawn.
[01:06:09.360 -> 01:06:10.320] Roedd yn ddiddorol iawn,
[01:06:10.320 -> 01:06:11.360] ond roedd yn ddiddorol iawn.
[01:06:11.360 -> 01:06:12.320] Roedd yn ddiddorol iawn,
[01:06:12.320 -> 01:06:13.360] ond roedd yn ddiddorol iawn.
[01:06:13.360 -> 01:06:14.320] Roedd yn ddiddorol iawn,
[01:06:14.320 -> 01:06:15.360] ond roedd yn ddiddorol iawn.
[01:06:15.360 -> 01:06:16.320] Roedd yn ddiddorol iawn,
[01:06:16.320 -> 01:06:17.280] ond roedd yn ddiddorol iawn.
[01:06:17.280 -> 01:06:18.320] Roedd yn ddiddorol iawn,
[01:06:18.320 -> 01:06:19.360] ond roedd yn ddiddorol iawn.
[01:06:19.360 -> 01:06:20.320] Roedd yn ddiddorol iawn,
[01:06:20.320 -> 01:06:21.360] ond roedd yn ddiddorol iawn.
[01:06:21.360 -> 01:06:22.320] Roedd yn ddiddorol iawn,
[01:06:22.320 -> 01:06:23.360] ond roedd yn ddiddorol iawn.
[01:06:23.360 -> 01:06:24.320] Roedd yn ddiddorol iawn,
[01:06:24.320 -> 01:06:29.040] ond roedd yn ddiddorol iawn. Roedd yn ddiddorol iawn, ond roedd yn ddiddorol iawn. Roedd yn ddiddorol iawn, ond roedd yn ddiddorol iawn. 70s. And so he was disabled when we were kids. And he, but he still did everything that a grandparent would do. But to like, to take us to the zoo as little kids, he'd have to
[01:06:29.040 -> 01:06:34.480] wheel up to his car. He had a little, um, maestro, do you remember those cars? And on
[01:06:34.480 -> 01:06:38.000] the, on the top, he had like this thing that held his wheelchair and he'd wheel up to the
[01:06:38.000 -> 01:06:43.320] car, lay a wooden board, slide himself across, close up his wheelchair. And then he had this
[01:06:43.320 -> 01:06:46.080] little machine inside and he used to press the button
[01:06:46.080 -> 01:06:48.360] and it would lift up the thing on the roof of the car
[01:06:48.360 -> 01:06:50.000] and it would drop down a cable.
[01:06:50.000 -> 01:06:52.840] Then he'd wrap the cable around the wheelchair,
[01:06:52.840 -> 01:06:55.560] lift the wheelchair up and then lower it back on the roof.
[01:06:55.560 -> 01:06:57.080] The whole thing would take about 15 minutes
[01:06:57.080 -> 01:06:59.360] and me and my cousin Simon are like moaning and groaning
[01:06:59.360 -> 01:07:01.760] at granddad for taking ages to take us to the zoo
[01:07:01.760 -> 01:07:03.960] or take us out for some lunch or whatever.
[01:07:03.960 -> 01:07:05.000] But he just got on with it.
[01:07:10.400 -> 01:07:15.160] He just had that kind of like stoic resilience just to keep on pushing forwards and Billy Munger, not only does he have that, but I don't think his
[01:07:15.160 -> 01:07:17.080] accent has in any way diminished his spirit.
[01:07:17.080 -> 01:07:19.960] You know, like he has that belief that great things are coming his way and I
[01:07:19.960 -> 01:07:23.720] think they are, but it's easy to lose that.
[01:07:23.840 -> 01:07:24.440] And he hasn't.
[01:07:24.880 -> 01:07:28.000] Yeah, very much. I think, you know, like the titlen credu, fel y byddai'r cyfrifol ar y podcast,
[01:07:28.000 -> 01:07:30.000] nid yw'r ffaith, ond sut rydych chi'n ymdrech.
[01:07:30.000 -> 01:07:34.000] A rwy'n credu, y ffaith yw ei bod wedi cael
[01:07:34.000 -> 01:07:37.000] gyfres argyfwng, y ffaith yw ei bod wedi newid bywyd
[01:07:37.000 -> 01:07:40.000] o ran y llwybr o'r ddwy eiliadau.
[01:07:40.000 -> 01:07:43.000] Ond mae'n ei ddewis o fod yn optimistig,
[01:07:43.000 -> 01:07:49.680] yn ddiogel, yn ymgyrchol gyda bywyd, ac mae'r heriau hwnnw sy'n gwneud y ddau o'r dda.
[01:07:49.680 -> 01:07:52.320] Ac mae'n debygol y byddwn yn y rhan gyntaf hynny.
[01:07:52.320 -> 01:07:56.160] Mae gennym adroddiad da yma o Chris ar LinkedIn, ac mae'n ymdrechu'r hyn rydych chi wedi'i ddweud.
[01:07:56.160 -> 01:08:00.800] Mae'n dweud, wow, pa ddewis anhygoel, y cymorth, y positifiaeth a'r meddwl o fywyd,
[01:08:00.800 -> 01:08:02.560] sy'n anhygoel i ni i gyd.
[01:08:02.560 -> 01:08:07.700] Os ydym ni'n teimlo'n hyderus o comfortable with being a role model, he's smashing it out there.
[01:08:07.700 -> 01:08:10.500] Also, thanks again, Damien Hughes and Jake Humphrey
[01:08:10.500 -> 01:08:12.900] and a really lovely message from Elliot saying,
[01:08:12.900 -> 01:08:14.960] the best podcast series I've ever listened to.
[01:08:14.960 -> 01:08:17.620] I find myself at a really reflective time in my life.
[01:08:17.620 -> 01:08:21.020] Perhaps it's as I come to the end of my twenties,
[01:08:21.020 -> 01:08:22.660] I'm naturally looking at what I've achieved
[01:08:22.660 -> 01:08:24.860] and crucially not yet achieved,
[01:08:24.860 -> 01:08:25.120] what I do well and what I could get better at. This've achieved and crucially not yet achieved, what I do
[01:08:25.120 -> 01:08:27.040] well and what I could get better at.
[01:08:27.040 -> 01:08:31.440] This podcast has given me so many tools, reflections and insights into how I can live the rest
[01:08:31.440 -> 01:08:36.120] of my life in the best way possible and become the very best version of myself.
[01:08:36.120 -> 01:08:39.040] Thank you, Jake, Damien and all those who've been on the pod.
[01:08:39.040 -> 01:08:42.040] And I would certainly echo the thanks to all the guests that we've had.
[01:08:42.040 -> 01:08:48.780] You know, when we talk about, as you just mentioned there, it's not the fact it's how you react. Let's not think about the fact
[01:08:48.780 -> 01:08:52.900] as really big things like a love changing accident. Let's talk about little things like
[01:08:52.900 -> 01:08:57.300] someone in your life being a bit grumpy, missing the train in the mornings, not getting the
[01:08:57.300 -> 01:09:00.820] promotion at work that you want, finding that the one thing you want to buy from the supermarket
[01:09:00.820 -> 01:09:06.960] is sold out. Because I think if we just think about how we react to the big stuff, we still let the tiny little stuff
[01:09:06.960 -> 01:09:07.780] get us down.
[01:09:07.780 -> 01:09:09.560] That is the stuff that happens all the time,
[01:09:09.560 -> 01:09:10.400] every single day.
[01:09:10.400 -> 01:09:13.800] So how will you react to that is almost more important
[01:09:13.800 -> 01:09:14.680] for most of us.
[01:09:14.680 -> 01:09:15.520] Yeah, definitely.
[01:09:15.520 -> 01:09:18.040] There's, I've had a story years ago,
[01:09:18.040 -> 01:09:20.160] I think it was someone like Arnold Palmer, the golfer,
[01:09:20.160 -> 01:09:23.400] and he used to practice driving behind like articulated
[01:09:23.400 -> 01:09:24.880] lorries on the motorway.
[01:09:24.880 -> 01:09:25.800] And the reason he'd do it was he was learning to practice patience. ac roedd yn ddweud, mae'n ddiddorol iawn, ond mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi. Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi. Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi. Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:25.800 -> 01:09:26.640] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:26.640 -> 01:09:27.480] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:27.480 -> 01:09:28.320] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:28.320 -> 01:09:29.160] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:29.160 -> 01:09:30.000] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:30.000 -> 01:09:30.840] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:30.840 -> 01:09:31.680] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:31.680 -> 01:09:32.520] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:32.520 -> 01:09:33.360] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:33.360 -> 01:09:34.200] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:34.200 -> 01:09:35.040] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:35.040 -> 01:09:35.880] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:35.880 -> 01:09:36.720] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:36.720 -> 01:09:37.560] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:37.560 -> 01:09:38.400] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:38.400 -> 01:09:39.240] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:39.240 -> 01:09:40.080] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:40.080 -> 01:09:40.920] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:40.920 -> 01:09:41.760] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:41.760 -> 01:09:42.600] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:42.600 -> 01:09:43.440] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:43.440 -> 01:09:44.280] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi.
[01:09:44.280 -> 01:09:45.760] Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi. Mae'n ddiddorol iawn i mi. patience was something that he'd learn by doing it on the small occasions. And I think, like you say,
[01:09:45.760 -> 01:09:48.360] I think how you react to that train being late
[01:09:48.360 -> 01:09:51.520] or how you react to somebody not doing something
[01:09:51.520 -> 01:09:53.360] as quickly as you would want,
[01:09:53.360 -> 01:09:56.000] defines you as much as how you're gonna handle it
[01:09:56.000 -> 01:09:59.280] when life does come along and throw us that curve ball.
[01:09:59.280 -> 01:10:00.120] I like that.
[01:10:00.120 -> 01:10:01.120] I hadn't thought of it like that.
[01:10:01.120 -> 01:10:03.300] I suppose what you're basically saying is,
[01:10:03.300 -> 01:10:05.320] reacting to the little things is the practice.
[01:10:05.320 -> 01:10:06.660] So that if the big thing comes our way,
[01:10:06.660 -> 01:10:08.360] and obviously we all hope it doesn't for us
[01:10:08.360 -> 01:10:09.380] and for anyone listening to this,
[01:10:09.380 -> 01:10:12.860] but if it does, it's a bit like the little bits
[01:10:12.860 -> 01:10:14.180] is what you've done on the training pitch
[01:10:14.180 -> 01:10:15.580] to get you ready for the big moment.
[01:10:15.580 -> 01:10:16.420] And you've learned.
[01:10:16.420 -> 01:10:20.040] So when we speak to the likes of middle turn,
[01:10:20.040 -> 01:10:21.780] now we've got Nims Perja coming up
[01:10:21.780 -> 01:10:23.620] and they've been in elite environments.
[01:10:23.620 -> 01:10:25.020] There's a saying they use there, Jake,
[01:10:25.020 -> 01:10:27.060] that when you come under pressure,
[01:10:27.060 -> 01:10:28.540] you don't rise to the performance,
[01:10:28.540 -> 01:10:31.480] you descend to the level where you spend most of your time.
[01:10:31.480 -> 01:10:35.020] So practice in patience, practice in resilience
[01:10:35.020 -> 01:10:37.180] on those small things is gonna equip you
[01:10:37.180 -> 01:10:40.260] with the skills to handle it when you really do need it.
[01:10:41.100 -> 01:10:43.580] I love having a professor for a friend.
[01:10:43.580 -> 01:10:44.860] So good.
[01:10:44.860 -> 01:10:46.300] One final comment. This is from Mo. He says, you guys are smashing it on the pod. I find having a professor for a friend. So good. One final comment. This is from Mo.
[01:10:46.300 -> 01:10:50.540] He says, you guys are smashing it on the pod. I find them so useful. I love it at the end
[01:10:50.540 -> 01:10:58.080] when you guys finish and say, Damien, Jake. Thanks Mo. Appreciate that. Right. Thank you
[01:10:58.080 -> 01:11:02.460] everyone for listening to this episode. Wow. Matthew McConnie, what a guy. If this is the
[01:11:02.460 -> 01:11:08.160] first time you've listened to the pod, because you saw there was an Oscar-winning Hollywood actor on, and you now want more from the High Performance
[01:11:08.160 -> 01:11:13.360] podcast, we are now in the middle, coming towards the end actually, of Series 3. So you have got so
[01:11:13.360 -> 01:11:17.200] many to catch up on. Go right back to the very beginning, the day that we sat down with Rio
[01:11:17.200 -> 01:11:22.240] Ferdinand and spoke about so much more than just football with him. You can also find us on YouTube
[01:11:22.240 -> 01:11:29.560] as well. We've got our online home there where you can watch, not just listen to the interviews already, millions of views and tens of thousands
[01:11:29.560 -> 01:11:34.600] of people are watching us on YouTube. And of course, Instagram as well, at jaycumfrey,
[01:11:34.600 -> 01:11:38.800] at liquid thinker, at high performance, everywhere you look, you will find us. Damien, thank
[01:11:38.800 -> 01:11:40.840] you so much once again for giving up your time.
[01:11:40.840 -> 01:11:43.240] Absolute pleasure, Jake. I've loved it. Thank you.
[01:11:43.240 -> 01:11:45.200] Most importantly, your enormous brain.
[01:11:45.200 -> 01:11:46.920] Have a great week.
[01:11:46.920 -> 01:11:47.760] You too, mate.
[01:11:47.760 -> 01:11:48.840] And the same applies to you as well.
[01:11:48.840 -> 01:11:50.240] I really hope that this little hit
[01:11:50.240 -> 01:11:51.520] of the High Performance Podcast
[01:11:51.520 -> 01:11:54.080] has given you some inspiration and some tools
[01:11:54.080 -> 01:11:55.800] and some ideas for how you can go
[01:11:55.800 -> 01:11:58.200] and make the very best of whatever stretches
[01:11:58.200 -> 01:12:00.280] ahead of you today and in the coming days.
[01:12:00.280 -> 01:12:02.040] Thanks to Will, thanks to Hannah
[01:12:02.040 -> 01:12:03.540] and all the team behind the scenes
[01:12:03.540 -> 01:12:04.800] at the High Performance Podcast.
[01:12:04.800 -> 01:12:08.200] Thanks to Finn Ryan from Rethink Audio for his hard work as well.
[01:12:08.200 -> 01:12:16.200] But most of all, thank you to our guests for coming on this podcast and just sharing with you the lessons that they have learned.
[01:12:16.200 -> 01:12:17.700] I was thinking about this the other day.
[01:12:17.700 -> 01:12:20.500] We're now over 25 episodes in.
[01:12:20.500 -> 01:12:25.120] Let's say each of our guests has spent 10 years learning the things they're sharing on this podcast.
[01:12:25.120 -> 01:12:32.000] That's 250 years of learning so far from the High Performance Podcast. It's not bad is it?
[01:12:32.000 -> 01:12:49.440] Anyway, thanks for listening and have a great week. Bye!