Podcast: The High Performance
Published Date:
Mon, 07 Aug 2023 00:00:44 GMT
Duration:
1:02:27
Explicit:
False
Guests:
MP3 Audio:
Please note that the summary is generated based on the transcript and may not capture all the nuances or details discussed in the podcast episode.
Dr. Waheed Arian, a doctor and radiologist, endured a challenging upbringing in war-torn Afghanistan, and at 15, he was smuggled to the UK. He had a singular ambition: to become a doctor. In a heartfelt conversation with Jake and Damian, he candidly reveals the harsh realities of living amongst bombings and military presence. He recounts visiting his father in hiding, who sought to evade front-line military service.
Such traumatic experiences have shaped Waheed's character, instilling vital lessons he carries to this day. He shares with Jake and Damian the key lessons he learnt from his childhood and how he still carries them with him. The loss of childhood innocence early on forged a determined mindset, focused on supporting and caring for his family. Throughout the darkest times, his dream of becoming a doctor served as a lifeline.
Waheed discusses the moment of kindness that changed his life, the importance of responsibility and how we can find meaning in what we do.
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### Key Points and Main Arguments of the Podcast Episode:
1. **Childhood Amidst Conflict:**
- Dr. Waheed Aryan grew up in war-torn Afghanistan, witnessing bombings, military presence, and displacement.
- He recounts a poignant moment when his father, fearing frontline military service, hid in the mountains, leading to infrequent and emotional reunions.
2. **Lessons from Childhood:**
- Waheed learned resilience, determination, and the importance of supporting family from his challenging upbringing.
- His dream of becoming a doctor served as a lifeline during the darkest times, providing him with purpose and hope.
3. **The Power of Kindness:**
- Waheed recalls a pivotal interaction with a doctor during wartime who inspired him to pursue a career in medicine.
- This encounter instilled in him a desire to heal people rather than engage in conflict.
4. **Responsibility and Meaning:**
- Waheed emphasizes the significance of responsibility and finding meaning in one's actions.
- He highlights the importance of combining work and supporting family, drawing motivation from the sacrifices made by his loved ones.
5. **The Journey to the UK:**
- Due to the lack of regular routes out of Afghanistan, Waheed had to be smuggled into the UK, carrying only £100.
- Despite facing discouragement and suggestions to pursue a simpler job, he remained steadfast in his ambition to become a doctor.
6. **Overcoming Obstacles:**
- Waheed encountered numerous challenges, including language barriers, financial constraints, and skepticism from those around him.
- He persevered through these obstacles, working multiple jobs and studying diligently to achieve his goal of becoming a doctor.
7. **The Importance of Education:**
- Waheed stresses the transformative power of education, emphasizing its role in shaping his life and enabling him to give back to society.
- He advocates for accessible and equitable education for all, regardless of background or circumstances.
8. **The Refugee Experience:**
- Waheed sheds light on the plight of refugees, highlighting the challenges they face in seeking safety and a better life.
- He calls for greater understanding, empathy, and support for refugees, urging listeners to challenge stereotypes and misconceptions.
9. **Post-Traumatic Growth:**
- Waheed reflects on the concept of post-traumatic growth, emphasizing the importance of finding meaning and purpose in the aftermath of trauma.
- He encourages listeners to learn from their experiences, develop resilience, and strive for personal growth.
10. **The Power of Hope:**
- Waheed underscores the significance of hope in overcoming adversity, drawing from his own experiences of survival and perseverance.
- He emphasizes the need to cultivate hope in the face of challenges, believing that it can fuel determination and resilience.
# Podcast Episode Summary: The High-Performance Podcast with Dr. Waheed Arian - From War-Torn Afghanistan to High-Performance Doctor
### Introduction:
* Dr. Waheed Arian, a doctor and radiologist, recounts his challenging upbringing in war-torn Afghanistan and his remarkable journey to becoming a successful medical professional in the UK.
### Key Points:
1. **Resilience and Determination:**
* Dr. Arian's childhood was marked by harsh realities, including bombings and military presence, which instilled in him vital lessons of resilience and determination.
* He shares how he maintained a focused mindset on supporting his family and pursued his dream of becoming a doctor despite the traumatic experiences.
2. **The Power of Kindness:**
* Dr. Arian highlights a pivotal moment of kindness that changed his life.
* He emphasizes the importance of responsibility and finding meaning in one's work.
3. **Overcoming Obstacles:**
* Upon arriving in the UK, Dr. Arian faced challenges due to lack of documentation.
* He persevered and secured support from a barrister who helped him avoid prosecution and start a new life.
* He worked three jobs while pursuing his education, demonstrating his unwavering commitment to his goals.
4. **The Importance of Meaning:**
* Dr. Arian stresses the significance of finding deeper meaning in one's activities and goals.
* He believes that attaching meaning to a task allows for innovative solutions and the pursuit of excellence.
5. **Finding Purpose in Helping Others:**
* Dr. Arian's passion for becoming a doctor stemmed from his desire to help people like himself who had suffered trauma.
* He recognized the opportunity to support his family and make a positive impact on society.
6. **Exploring Meaningful Work:**
* Dr. Arian encourages listeners to reflect on their passions and explore different paths to find meaningful work.
* He emphasizes the importance of considering whether a task aligns with one's interests, strengths, and potential for positive impact.
7. **The Value of Compassion and Empathy:**
* Dr. Arian highlights the importance of compassion and empathy in addressing mental health issues.
* He criticizes the long waiting times and lack of expert assessment in the current mental healthcare system.
* He advocates for comprehensive solutions that address the root causes of mental health problems.
8. **Three Non-Negotiable Behaviors:**
* Dr. Arian emphasizes three non-negotiable behaviors: showing compassion, taking care of oneself, and finding meaning in one's actions.
* He believes these behaviors lead to deeper fulfillment and joy in life.
9. **Moments of Reflection:**
* If he could go back to one moment in his life, Dr. Arian would reassure his younger self to continue dreaming and not give up on hope.
10. **Recommended Book:**
* Dr. Arian recommends "The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind" by William Kamkwamba, a story about a Malawian engineer who used wind power to bring electricity to his community.
* He emphasizes the importance of problem-solving, innovation, and helping others.
11. **Strengths and Weaknesses:**
* Dr. Arian acknowledges his strength in focusing on meaning and compassion but recognizes that it can lead to a weakness of neglecting his own well-being.
* He strives to find a balance between helping others and taking care of himself.
12. **Biggest Failure and How He Dealt with It:**
* Dr. Arian recalls a moment when he immersed himself too deeply in helping displaced people, leading to re-traumatization.
* He emphasizes the importance of finding a balance and taking time for self-recovery.
### Conclusion:
* Dr. Arian's journey exemplifies the power of resilience, determination, and the pursuit of meaningful work.
* He inspires listeners to find deeper purpose in their actions, show compassion to others, and strive for excellence in all that they do.
# Podcast Episode Summary: Dr. Waheed Arian's Journey of Resilience and Empathy
**Introduction:**
- Dr. Waheed Arian, a radiologist and author, shares his extraordinary life story, marked by resilience, empathy, and a relentless pursuit of his dreams.
- He endured a challenging upbringing in war-torn Afghanistan and was smuggled to the UK at the age of 15.
- His singular ambition was to become a doctor, fueled by a desire to support his family and make a positive impact on the world.
**Key Lessons from Childhood:**
- Dr. Arian's childhood experiences instilled vital lessons that he carries with him to this day.
- The loss of childhood innocence forged a determined mindset, focused on supporting and caring for his family.
- Throughout the darkest times, his dream of becoming a doctor served as a lifeline.
**Moment of Kindness:**
- Dr. Arian recalls a defining moment of kindness that changed his life.
- He highlights the importance of responsibility and how finding meaning in what we do can lead to profound fulfillment.
**Overcoming Challenges:**
- Dr. Arian faced numerous obstacles, including imprisonment and academic struggles at Cambridge University.
- He emphasizes the significance of gratitude, exercise, and unwavering belief in one's dreams as key factors in overcoming adversity.
- He found innovative ways to improve his reading and learning skills, ultimately achieving academic success.
**Golden Rule for a High-Performance Life:**
- Dr. Arian believes that living a high-performance life involves making the most of one's time and leaving a positive impact on others.
- He emphasizes the importance of empathy and compassion in human interactions.
**Reflections on Resilience and Empathy:**
- The hosts express their admiration for Dr. Arian's resilience and empathy, despite the traumas he has endured.
- They highlight his story as a testament to the human spirit and its capacity to overcome adversity.
- The episode serves as a reminder of the importance of perseverance, gratitude, and human connection in achieving a fulfilling and impactful life.
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[00:11.360 -> 00:16.240] two-time Rugby World Cup winner Dan Carter. Simply search for High Performance in the app store right
[00:16.240 -> 00:24.240] now and then use your exclusive code HPAPP to get in. Hi there, you're listening to High Performance,
[00:24.240 -> 00:26.240] the award-winning podcast that unlocks the
[00:26.240 -> 00:29.720] minds of some of the most fascinating people on the planet.
[00:29.720 -> 00:34.480] I'm Jay Comfrey, and alongside Professor Damian Hughes, we learn from the stories,
[00:34.480 -> 00:40.720] successes and struggles of our guests, allowing us all to explore, be challenged and to grow.
[00:40.720 -> 00:43.080] Here's what's coming up today.
[00:43.080 -> 00:50.040] So he hit me in that oven, he hit me there and he said just two sentences before the
[00:50.040 -> 00:55.000] bombardment started and he said, son, I love you.
[00:55.000 -> 01:01.960] And if anything happens to me, you have to look after your sisters, your family.
[01:01.960 -> 01:03.440] That's aged five.
[01:03.440 -> 01:06.920] And that is when I lost my childhood. That thinking
[01:06.920 -> 01:12.000] along the way, that visualization became a reality for me because that's all I
[01:12.000 -> 01:17.200] was talking about, thinking about and not giving up. If I had given up I don't
[01:17.200 -> 01:22.360] think I would be here now. Even in the refugee camp the doctor who helped me
[01:22.360 -> 01:25.000] he actually transformed my life.
[01:25.000 -> 01:30.640] That's when, during wartime, I became inspired because I wanted to be like him,
[01:30.640 -> 01:37.520] to heal people, rather than be somebody who kills people. The fact is that
[01:37.520 -> 01:42.040] people fleeing conflict, they can't go to an embassy to get a visa, they can't find
[01:42.040 -> 01:48.920] regular routes. I looked for that and I couldn't find any. And that was the only way to save myself was to be smuggled here
[01:48.920 -> 01:50.000] to the UK.
[01:50.000 -> 01:58.380] So today we welcome Waheed Aryan to High Performance. And look, we have some really globally famous
[01:58.380 -> 02:03.240] big name guests on these podcasts. And I think when you tune in for those, you know exactly
[02:03.240 -> 02:07.920] what you're getting. Other times we're asking you to trust us, okay, we're asking you to come on a
[02:07.920 -> 02:11.240] journey with someone that you may well have not heard of before but someone
[02:11.240 -> 02:15.400] that we know can bring so much value to your life. You just heard a few clips
[02:15.400 -> 02:19.200] from the podcast there and I think it sets it up really nicely but trust me
[02:19.200 -> 02:23.640] when I tell you there is so much more to hear and to learn and to understand from
[02:23.640 -> 02:25.580] Waheed. This podcast is
[02:25.580 -> 02:30.880] packed with lessons but also packed with emotion. This is a man who escaped a war
[02:30.880 -> 02:35.160] zone, this is a man who had to travel on his own at an incredibly young age, he
[02:35.160 -> 02:39.520] had to face his fears and do things that no young person should ever have to do
[02:39.520 -> 02:43.340] just to live a life. And I think sometimes we think that it then becomes
[02:43.340 -> 02:50.620] about survival and there were definitely points and you'll hear them where Waheed was very close to not surviving
[02:50.620 -> 02:55.560] but actually he is now someone who is thriving and he's ready to give back. So let's just
[02:55.560 -> 03:00.940] get straight into it and hear from a doctor that has seen so much and is willing to share
[03:00.940 -> 03:05.920] so much as we welcome Waheed Aryan to high performance.
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[05:30.000 -> 05:34.880] details. Well, Wade, welcome to the High Performance podcast. Thank you very much, Jake and team for having me. It's a pleasure.
[05:34.880 -> 05:39.000] Let's start as we always do. What is your definition of high performance?
[05:39.000 -> 05:47.960] High performance is such a broad term, but I was thinking about it for me. It's such a broad term, but I was thinking about it. For me, it's living a life actually that is purposeful
[05:47.960 -> 05:50.160] and focused both at the same time.
[05:50.160 -> 05:52.480] And it's not easy to do that
[05:52.480 -> 05:55.960] because we can find purpose in any area of life,
[05:55.960 -> 05:57.840] but which direction do we go?
[05:57.840 -> 06:01.400] For me, I've learned more how to bring my focus closer
[06:01.400 -> 06:06.520] to the few areas that I'm good at, I can make a
[06:06.520 -> 06:10.960] difference in people's lives and I stick with it and that actually brings out the
[06:10.960 -> 06:14.280] best in me. I love that. So you're talking there about a sense of
[06:14.280 -> 06:19.080] empowerment of understanding the impact that you can have on the world. Let's go
[06:19.080 -> 06:23.880] right back to your childhood when you were growing up in war-torn Afghanistan
[06:23.880 -> 06:25.680] where I guess the feeling was
[06:25.680 -> 06:28.960] a very different one. It would have been a feeling of helplessness, maybe?
[06:28.960 -> 06:36.520] So, I was born into war in the mid-80s during the Afghan-Soviet conflict. I didn't know
[06:36.520 -> 06:42.320] any other reality. So, the reality I was born into was listening to the sounds of the rockets,
[06:42.320 -> 06:49.360] the bombs and the shellings outside. Whenever we would come out, the dotted memories that I have, we would see
[06:49.360 -> 06:53.280] soldiers on the street and then we'll see helicopter gunships and jets in the
[06:53.280 -> 06:58.240] sky. So those are the formative years, how they've been formed in my mind.
[06:58.240 -> 07:02.320] Amongst them there are a couple of only two happy memories that I can remember.
[07:02.320 -> 07:09.920] One is being taken to a local park by my mother to have an ice cream with my cousins and to have a play. And
[07:09.920 -> 07:15.680] another one was when I was at home and my father came in his military
[07:15.680 -> 07:22.080] uniform. He brought in this big kite from outside. He kneeled down, he gave me this
[07:22.080 -> 07:25.080] big kite. I was so happy because usually
[07:25.080 -> 07:30.440] I would see these kites in the sky. And then for him to suddenly disappear from
[07:30.440 -> 07:35.680] our life. So you can see one moment that you're living this life which you can
[07:35.680 -> 07:40.240] call normal with your family members and you're trying to enjoy your childhood a
[07:40.240 -> 07:46.080] little bit but the next moment I lost my father. I didn't know where he went.
[07:46.080 -> 07:52.040] That kind of symbolizes the happiness, moments of happiness, but really amongst
[07:52.040 -> 07:55.780] the really dark period for people that they have to go through, whether they go
[07:55.780 -> 08:00.680] into hiding from the rockets, the bombs, whether they lose their siblings or they
[08:00.680 -> 08:04.840] lose their parents. And for me that was the case. My father went into hiding from
[08:04.840 -> 08:08.040] the military service because that was a death sentence. He had
[08:08.040 -> 08:12.880] to go to the front line to fight his fellow countrymen and he didn't want to
[08:12.880 -> 08:16.960] do that. So that's kind of the first five years and from time to time we would go
[08:16.960 -> 08:23.440] to meet him. My mother wouldn't say to us that we're going to meet your father. He
[08:23.440 -> 08:29.280] would be hiding in mountains in an area called Løgø and whenever we would go there my mother
[08:29.280 -> 08:34.080] would say that we go into the villages to have some dairy products and to have
[08:34.080 -> 08:39.200] a go on the horses and the donkeys and then suddenly we'd be staying in one
[08:39.200 -> 08:46.160] room and my father would reappear out of nowhere. That would be so magical. For one moment,
[08:46.160 -> 08:49.600] three months ago, four months ago, six months ago, he would go and then the next
[08:49.600 -> 08:54.800] moment he would be there. And I remember this kind of gazing into his eyes and
[08:54.800 -> 08:59.560] sitting next to him, cuddling him. I wouldn't leave him even to go to
[08:59.560 -> 09:05.440] anywhere because I knew that there could be another moment that he will go away and he
[09:05.440 -> 09:06.440] will not come back.
[09:06.440 -> 09:10.600] Can we explore that topic then of hope?
[09:10.600 -> 09:16.800] I'm interested in how powerful hope is and how we can all get a little bit more of it
[09:16.800 -> 09:17.920] in our lives.
[09:17.920 -> 09:23.040] I think I will use another part of the story which was when we, to just illustrate the
[09:23.040 -> 09:25.680] power of hope and the power of not giving up when you're
[09:25.680 -> 09:32.720] even in the darkest hours, that was when we moved to Pakistan as refugees like millions of other
[09:32.720 -> 09:40.000] Afghans who traveled in the 80s and 90s. We were safe there but the conditions were really
[09:40.000 -> 09:45.960] inhumane. So we started living in a tent as a family of eight with a little
[09:45.960 -> 09:53.020] toilet that was man-made outside and a little area where my mum and my sisters
[09:53.020 -> 09:57.520] could cook. But within days most of us got malaria which as you know is
[09:57.520 -> 10:03.320] life-threatening disease and sadly many people succumb to it but we survived and
[10:03.320 -> 10:05.280] within three months was I started
[10:05.280 -> 10:11.040] coughing. I started coughing and with that I started bringing up blood, I lost
[10:11.040 -> 10:17.440] weight, I had night sweats. My father he took me to a local doctor and when he
[10:17.440 -> 10:24.040] examined me there and he said that I had to be taken to a specialist. So my father
[10:24.040 -> 10:26.600] took me to a specialist in Peshawar city,
[10:26.600 -> 10:29.160] in one of the busiest cities in Pakistan.
[10:29.160 -> 10:31.960] And the specialist usually sits in shops,
[10:31.960 -> 10:34.200] so you can go to a big hospital,
[10:34.200 -> 10:36.880] but it was a private area like you've seen it
[10:36.880 -> 10:38.320] in Pakistan and India.
[10:38.320 -> 10:41.800] So he went to the specialist, he examined me,
[10:41.800 -> 10:46.380] and he asked my father to get my X-ray of my chest. So we went to
[10:46.380 -> 10:51.740] shop next door where there was an x-ray machine. My x-ray was taken and I was so
[10:51.740 -> 10:57.760] proud to have this x-ray in my hand of my body and I brought it back to the
[10:57.760 -> 11:02.880] specialist. He had a look at it and he asked me to sit outside. So when I sat
[11:02.880 -> 11:05.600] outside there I was a pretty curious child
[11:05.600 -> 11:08.600] and I was trying to listen to what they were talking.
[11:08.600 -> 11:13.500] And he said to my father that I had 70% chance of dying
[11:13.500 -> 11:18.400] because I had tuberculosis and my disease was very advanced
[11:18.400 -> 11:21.100] and I had lost so much weight.
[11:21.100 -> 11:24.100] I was so weak that I couldn't fight it.
[11:24.100 -> 11:29.760] And that's when my father broke down in tears and he said, Doctor, don't tell me the percentage
[11:29.760 -> 11:36.560] of him dying, give me the percentages of him surviving and what I can do to save him.
[11:36.560 -> 11:41.040] And he said, well I'll prescribe you medications but he really needs to be eating well, he
[11:41.040 -> 11:45.280] needs to be in an environment that's a little bit stress-free.
[11:50.960 -> 11:58.720] And so that was the basic prescription he gave. And my father, he being a refugee and looking after a big family, we hardly had anything. And we came back on the way, I was on his lap in this bus,
[11:59.280 -> 12:03.040] he was crying all the way, I didn't dare ask him any question because I knew there was something
[12:03.040 -> 12:07.880] wrong. And then we arrived home, The next moment he didn't think about
[12:07.880 -> 12:13.320] the 70% of chance of dying or giving up on me. He spoke with my mother and the
[12:13.320 -> 12:16.760] whole night they were crying together. But the next moment, the next morning
[12:16.760 -> 12:22.840] they were upbeat. My father went out to start work. He kept going to various part
[12:22.840 -> 12:25.400] of Pakistan to collect antiques to bring in
[12:25.400 -> 12:31.400] to the centre and sell it to tourists to make some money and my mother started
[12:31.400 -> 12:35.600] cooking better food from the money that my father would bring in. So they really
[12:35.600 -> 12:42.520] focused on ways to save me rather than to allowing the situation to take over
[12:42.520 -> 12:49.600] which in by any means you look at, the odds were against me of surviving. And that was not for one or two days, it
[12:49.600 -> 12:54.880] went on for one and a half years. He was out and about three, four days in a row,
[12:54.880 -> 13:00.000] he would come back with some meat, bananas, oranges, which I still love so
[13:00.000 -> 13:04.360] much, and my wife calls me a monkey because I just keep eating bananas, but
[13:04.360 -> 13:09.600] it stems from the childhood that I developed that keenness with it and we
[13:09.600 -> 13:14.520] didn't have anything except a fan and the temperatures rising up to 45 degrees
[13:14.520 -> 13:18.120] centigrade so these were one of the harshest conditions you can live in so I
[13:18.120 -> 13:23.280] think the lessons from all that that I learned and I use that in my life is in
[13:23.280 -> 13:27.240] the most challenged situations in life,
[13:27.240 -> 13:30.520] you can easily give up or you can fight it.
[13:30.520 -> 13:32.160] And that's the lesson, the biggest lesson
[13:32.160 -> 13:34.200] that I learned from my father and my mother
[13:34.200 -> 13:37.200] and from so many other people who've been through traumas
[13:37.200 -> 13:39.280] of war, displacement.
[13:39.280 -> 13:40.680] And then I see that, of course,
[13:40.680 -> 13:43.840] I've seen people through COVID exhibit the same
[13:43.840 -> 13:45.760] when their backs have been against the
[13:45.760 -> 13:52.480] wall, when their loved ones are dying, with their lost jobs, relationships, they hang on to hope. So
[13:52.480 -> 14:00.240] we do have that resilience in us. Can we just talk about how you ended up in Pakistan? You've spoken
[14:00.240 -> 14:08.580] about bombs falling outside your house. Would you just give, for our listeners and viewers who haven't read your book, just the most sort of graphic
[14:08.580 -> 14:13.560] description you can of actually what day-to-day life was like in Afghanistan
[14:13.560 -> 14:16.680] and how eventually that led to your parents making what is a very big
[14:16.680 -> 14:20.940] decision. And again it's a decision based on hope to leave Afghanistan for
[14:20.940 -> 14:26.960] Pakistan. The situation was that from the first five years, most of the
[14:26.960 -> 14:32.880] time we were in cellars because the rockets would be coming randomly, so there was no
[14:32.880 -> 14:39.600] target and some people they would come in about 20-30 kilometres away, put the huge
[14:39.600 -> 14:45.760] rockets and target, okay that's the city, we're're gonna hit the city and whoever or
[14:45.760 -> 14:50.000] whichever house it lands on it lands. The other situation of course would be that
[14:50.000 -> 14:56.240] people would raid into areas and they would fight the opposition but in the
[14:56.240 -> 15:01.880] middle the people who were there they would get killed or they get injured. So a
[15:01.880 -> 15:09.000] lot of our time was spent in cellars, we were not allowed to go outside because outside it was dangerous for us. And there was one
[15:09.000 -> 15:15.320] particular story that will illustrate the severity of the conflict itself is
[15:15.320 -> 15:19.080] that when we were traveling from Afghanistan to Pakistan we were
[15:19.080 -> 15:23.220] traveling on donkeys and horses and that was a journey that took seven days seven
[15:23.220 -> 15:29.100] nights. We were traveling at night time like most families because people were not allowed
[15:29.100 -> 15:33.440] to even leave the country. That's one so they couldn't take the normal borders
[15:33.440 -> 15:38.500] and secondly we were taking a very dangerous route to mountains and valleys
[15:38.500 -> 15:43.400] and that route was used by the opposition so it's a bit of history there as well. The
[15:43.400 -> 15:48.120] people who are fighting the Russians were the Mujahideen and they would bring in their weapons, the
[15:48.120 -> 15:53.800] helicopter gunships and the jets from the Soviet government, they would attack anybody
[15:53.800 -> 15:54.800] on the ground.
[15:54.800 -> 16:02.040] So when we were traveling, there was one morning it was a bit lighter and my father said that
[16:02.040 -> 16:08.080] okay we need to stop until it's a bit darker, We need to find somewhere in the local village to hide.
[16:08.080 -> 16:10.200] I insisted that I would come with my father.
[16:10.200 -> 16:12.400] And so my father, along with two, three other men,
[16:12.400 -> 16:14.440] they went to explore the village.
[16:14.440 -> 16:15.500] I went with them.
[16:16.360 -> 16:20.540] Women, the children, they stayed under trees to hide.
[16:20.540 -> 16:23.640] So we were open, so we were spotted by a spy plane.
[16:23.640 -> 16:25.520] And that's when my father
[16:25.520 -> 16:29.960] realized that what was coming. So he grabbed me in his arm and he run
[16:29.960 -> 16:35.280] towards the village and he didn't want to go back because he didn't want the
[16:35.280 -> 16:41.540] children to be exposed or the women to be exposed to the rocket. And when we
[16:41.540 -> 16:46.000] run to the village he was trying to open one door, another door
[16:46.000 -> 16:51.000] And then he finally found a house that was open and in there he was looking for something
[16:51.000 -> 16:53.880] I had no idea what it was and then he found an oven in the floor
[16:54.520 -> 17:00.400] Which was used for baking bread in villages in Afghanistan. So he hit me in that oven
[17:01.000 -> 17:04.480] He had me there and he said just two sentences before
[17:07.520 -> 17:16.640] that oven he had me there and he said just two sentences before the bombardment started and and he said son I love you and if anything happens to me you have to look after your sisters your
[17:16.640 -> 17:26.400] family. That's aged five and that is when I lost my childhood because deep down you know subconsciously I knew that
[17:26.400 -> 17:30.560] my father wouldn't be around for long so I had to really forget about what
[17:30.560 -> 17:36.920] playing is, what being a child is like and then within two or three minutes was
[17:36.920 -> 17:43.440] that the jets arrived, the helicopter gunships arrived and they started bombing the
[17:43.440 -> 17:47.300] entire village. I can still vividly remember it was you know
[17:48.240 -> 17:50.240] 35 years ago or so
[17:50.440 -> 17:55.600] 34 years ago. I still remember the sound of the bullets hitting the walls the ceilings
[17:56.400 -> 17:59.520] The shrapnels going everywhere the dust
[18:00.520 -> 18:03.920] Even the walls coming down. I can hear the sound of it
[18:03.920 -> 18:09.040] So do some of the traumas that people will remember forever in their lives and that exhibits
[18:09.040 -> 18:14.560] what war situation is for people who live through conflict. Miraculously we
[18:14.560 -> 18:18.440] survived that attack and further two attacks along the way. But that one
[18:18.440 -> 18:24.000] attack I think may show that how things change suddenly and then within minutes
[18:24.000 -> 18:30.680] you're with your loved one and the next moment you're gone. You know when you hear a story as harrowing
[18:30.680 -> 18:35.000] as that it's so easy to imagine well you would just give up you know hope would
[18:35.000 -> 18:39.200] be lost your your hatred of humankind would be so strong you would think do I
[18:39.200 -> 18:43.120] even want to exist in a world like this but having read your book you know as
[18:43.120 -> 18:45.120] this was going on,
[18:50.080 -> 18:54.560] somehow you still were able to see a future. You know, you were still learning English from the world service. You were still buying textbooks from street sellers to learn about the world.
[18:54.560 -> 18:59.120] You know, there's a really interesting story here about the human nature not being broken
[18:59.120 -> 19:05.200] by the seeing the most harrowing things a five-year-old can ever witness. And for people who are listening
[19:05.200 -> 19:12.240] to this, who maybe are feeling hopeless and feeling that, you know, life is one long story
[19:12.240 -> 19:17.140] of despair and disappointment and letdown and challenge, what would you share with them
[19:17.140 -> 19:20.760] that you learned in that time that you think they may well find helpful?
[19:20.760 -> 19:25.760] So, that was one occasion. So So my 15 years of my childhood was entirely
[19:25.760 -> 19:31.240] spent in days like that, whether it's refugee camps, whether it's in conflict.
[19:31.240 -> 19:36.480] But it was also a lot of the time that there were people helping each other.
[19:36.480 -> 19:40.440] People, when they're moving because of conflict from one region to another, they
[19:40.440 -> 19:43.400] would go to strangers' house in the middle of the night. They would knock, and
[19:43.400 -> 19:49.720] I remember knocking, and this old lady would come out or this man would come out with a child and said come on
[19:49.720 -> 19:54.900] Come on, you would go in there. They would have one room and they would share that room with another ten people
[19:55.320 -> 20:00.220] They usually save some bread for their children for their own children, but they would share it
[20:00.220 -> 20:02.740] They wouldn't care about what tomorrow holds because they knew
[20:03.480 -> 20:05.840] That they we were there
[20:05.840 -> 20:11.840] to be helped so they would provide that support. Even in the refugee camp, the doctor who helped
[20:11.840 -> 20:16.800] me, he is actually the person who inspired me to become a doctor myself. I interacted
[20:16.800 -> 20:21.920] with him for a year, a year and a half, but every time I would go in, he would have this
[20:21.920 -> 20:25.840] intellectual conversation with me, which was the only time I had something
[20:25.840 -> 20:29.000] meaningful because I couldn't go to school.
[20:29.000 -> 20:33.560] There was no school and I barely educated at school level.
[20:33.560 -> 20:40.200] So for him to see something in me, in my curiosity, and every time he would show me x-rays of
[20:40.200 -> 20:50.720] other people and some images of the heart of the lung and so on. On the last visit he gave me a stethoscope and a large black and white textbook and he said
[20:51.520 -> 20:56.640] Waheed, son I think you'll be a doctor one day, this will be helpful.
[20:57.440 -> 20:59.760] So he actually transformed my life.
[21:00.720 -> 21:05.600] That's when during wartime I became
[21:03.480 -> 21:08.680] inspired because I wanted to be like him
[21:05.600 -> 21:12.560] to heal people rather than be somebody
[21:08.680 -> 21:16.160] who kills people. So Waheed, was there one
[21:12.560 -> 21:19.120] particular moment of kindness in amidst
[21:16.160 -> 21:21.200] all that bleak backstory that was
[21:19.120 -> 21:24.000] happening that really stands out for
[21:21.200 -> 21:26.880] you and if there was, can you describe to us the impact that it had on you?
[21:26.880 -> 21:34.000] My life was in danger and I had no choice but to leave Afghanistan. My whole family couldn't leave
[21:34.000 -> 21:40.160] because it was very expensive and there was no regular route to leave Afghanistan. So my family
[21:40.160 -> 21:51.840] had to sell everything and put all that money into the hands of an agent, which was the only way out to leave. I would say that the biggest kindness, I
[21:51.840 -> 21:57.000] know it sounds that parents would do it, is for them to sell everything and
[21:57.000 -> 22:05.000] believe in me. One, to save my life and then believe in me that I would be able to figure out my future
[22:05.000 -> 22:10.000] is such a hard decision. It's so difficult.
[22:10.000 -> 22:14.000] Well, that's also a huge responsibility on very young shoulders, isn't it?
[22:14.000 -> 22:22.000] You know, a 15-year-old child still, knowing that the belief and the hope of the whole family
[22:22.000 -> 22:29.520] rested on those shoulders. How did you process that? I think I was looking at the options. During the wartime and displacement, it
[22:29.520 -> 22:34.640] was really choosing between the worst and the better option that were
[22:34.640 -> 22:38.000] available and that's how a lot of the decisions were made by my parents. I
[22:38.000 -> 22:42.400] learned a lot about resilience from my parents and from other people who were
[22:42.400 -> 22:49.200] there as well. My father, he would find hope in the slimmest possible way
[22:49.200 -> 22:51.280] that he would listen to the radio.
[22:51.280 -> 22:53.400] There would be 99% negative news,
[22:53.400 -> 22:55.600] but he would be looking for that one point.
[22:55.600 -> 22:58.920] And then he would try to drum that out to my mother, who
[22:58.920 -> 23:00.360] was more realistic.
[23:00.360 -> 23:01.840] She was very much kind of switched
[23:01.840 -> 23:04.520] on to look at the realities and what we should do
[23:04.520 -> 23:05.220] and what we shouldn't do
[23:05.340 -> 23:12.460] But my father was the one who was bringing in that 1% of hope and I learned that I have to actually develop his method
[23:12.460 -> 23:17.520] Of looking for that one or two positive steps despite what else is going on
[23:17.520 -> 23:21.860] And that's how I even developed that imaginary world in my mind
[23:22.380 -> 23:23.520] that
[23:23.520 -> 23:26.040] When I was listening to the BBC World
[23:26.040 -> 23:30.800] Service, I would hear that people would talk about going to school, having dinner
[23:30.800 -> 23:35.800] together as a family, having friends. I had none of that. But in my mind I would
[23:35.800 -> 23:40.280] create that, okay, one day I will be able to do the same. And I translated that
[23:40.280 -> 23:50.560] onto the paper. So in the morning when I was motivating myself to just get by, so I would draw a picture of a school, of a table, of me having my friends and
[23:50.560 -> 23:55.760] then I'll be walking pacing around that little place or outside imagining in my
[23:55.760 -> 24:00.680] mind what I would do next, what my rota would look like and so on. It's amazing
[24:00.680 -> 24:05.160] how that has become a reality now for me, you know, decades later,
[24:05.160 -> 24:06.720] but at that time I couldn't see it,
[24:06.720 -> 24:09.800] I imagined it and I drew it on the paper.
[24:09.800 -> 24:11.680] So what do you think that was doing for you?
[24:11.680 -> 24:14.200] Because you're describing visualization
[24:14.200 -> 24:16.200] that when we've spoken to athletes
[24:16.200 -> 24:18.360] that are performing under pressure,
[24:18.360 -> 24:21.040] that's a skill that they'll often tap into.
[24:21.040 -> 24:24.300] What do you think that was doing for you at that young age?
[24:30.000 -> 24:33.000] Those methods were allowing me to really hang on to hope and not to give up. Because I had depressive symptoms at the age of 10, 12.
[24:33.000 -> 24:38.000] I really couldn't make out what the world was about because I was born into war
[24:38.000 -> 24:42.000] and I had no other reality, understanding of reality for normality.
[24:42.000 -> 24:48.560] So what it did was it really gave me hope that there is reality even though I've not experienced
[24:48.560 -> 24:53.640] it and I shouldn't give up on that and I shouldn't give up on humanity. I left
[24:53.640 -> 24:58.000] Afghanistan at the age of 15 but from the age of 12-10 I was really focused to
[24:58.000 -> 25:03.880] leave. So that took a lot of preparation. So mentally I was looking for ways to
[25:03.880 -> 25:10.040] to get out, looked for ways how to educate myself abroad, how to be able to save
[25:10.040 -> 25:15.280] myself, how to be able to save my family there and that meant that I had
[25:15.280 -> 25:20.220] conversations with people and how people go abroad, how they flee Afghanistan, what
[25:20.220 -> 25:24.240] are the ways, what would people do when they go abroad, how they can get
[25:24.240 -> 25:28.560] education. So all that took a lot of few years for me
[25:28.560 -> 25:31.000] to ultimately get to a point where
[25:31.000 -> 25:34.160] I found this person who sent me away from Afghanistan.
[25:34.160 -> 25:36.040] So it suddenly didn't happen.
[25:36.040 -> 25:39.600] But that thinking along the way, that visualization,
[25:39.600 -> 25:41.440] became a reality for me.
[25:41.440 -> 25:44.400] Because that's all I was talking about, thinking about,
[25:44.400 -> 25:47.360] and not giving up. If I was talking about, thinking about and not
[25:44.880 -> 25:49.360] giving up. If I had given up I don't
[25:47.360 -> 25:50.920] think I would be here now. And do you
[25:49.360 -> 25:52.880] feel that, I mean a lot of what you're
[25:50.920 -> 25:55.960] describing as well Waheed, like
[25:52.880 -> 25:59.080] correlates with the research that on
[25:55.960 -> 26:01.440] post-traumatic growth as opposed to the
[25:59.080 -> 26:03.400] post-traumatic stress that we would
[26:01.440 -> 26:06.600] imagine that somebody going through those
[26:03.400 -> 26:06.000] experiences might have endured.
[26:06.000 -> 26:12.000] The idea of being able to make some kind of sense out of those experiences,
[26:12.000 -> 26:17.000] allow you to move forward and progress rather than remain stuck in a certain moment.
[26:17.000 -> 26:24.000] What other factors do you feel that you could share with us from those quite extreme circumstances
[26:24.000 -> 26:26.720] that our listeners
[26:24.800 -> 26:28.960] would be able to maybe deal with
[26:26.720 -> 26:31.680] something that's traumatic in their own
[26:28.960 -> 26:34.400] world could take and use to be able to
[26:31.680 -> 26:36.880] move forward. Well post-traumatic
[26:34.400 -> 26:39.360] growth and post-traumatic stress,
[26:36.880 -> 26:41.360] I think these are very important
[26:39.360 -> 26:43.200] terminologies and I think it's
[26:41.360 -> 26:44.880] theoretically you can differentiate
[26:43.200 -> 26:47.520] them but in reality
[26:44.880 -> 26:46.320] when we talk about trauma is it's theoretically you can differentiate them, but in reality, when we talk about trauma,
[26:46.320 -> 26:50.760] it's even now, decades later, I get into situations
[26:50.760 -> 26:53.520] where there's a risk of me being re-traumatized.
[26:53.520 -> 26:56.320] For example, I do a lot of humanitarian work.
[26:56.320 -> 26:58.200] I advocate for mental health.
[26:58.200 -> 27:00.560] So when I see stories, hear stories of other people
[27:00.560 -> 27:03.120] suffering from mental health, it really brings out
[27:03.120 -> 27:10.160] my own memories as well. So I would say that it's for me learning to be at peace, on
[27:10.160 -> 27:16.160] reflection now, with the traumas. And at that time it was about survival. It's
[27:16.160 -> 27:21.520] about, I was still on a fight or flight mode. I was really high on adrenaline
[27:21.520 -> 27:28.000] trying to save myself and I was also in a, because I was the eldest son, I was really high on adrenaline trying to save myself. And I was also, because I was the eldest son,
[27:28.000 -> 27:30.800] I had so much responsibility on my shoulders
[27:30.800 -> 27:32.880] to be able to provide for the family.
[27:32.880 -> 27:37.800] So deep down, that motivated me to not give up responsibility
[27:37.800 -> 27:39.480] for others, for myself.
[27:39.480 -> 27:41.720] I was inspired to become a doctor.
[27:41.720 -> 27:46.240] And I looked for ways to make that dream a reality. Each
[27:46.240 -> 27:50.480] conversation, the build-up of that over months and years and making small
[27:50.480 -> 27:56.120] progress here and there was a letdown for me from those traumas. So I didn't
[27:56.120 -> 28:00.200] let my mind be consumed what was going on. Of course you have to dodge the
[28:00.200 -> 28:03.480] bombs but on the other hand I was thinking about the future. I was
[28:03.480 -> 28:12.320] thinking about ways how to be able to survive myself, save myself and to save my family. They were struggling to find food
[28:12.320 -> 28:18.400] so for me deep down I was thinking that if I get out how best can I combine working and supporting
[28:18.400 -> 28:23.600] my family and that brought out the meaning. I found meaning in life that you know if I'm able
[28:23.600 -> 28:28.960] to support my parents who've done so much or my family members, my siblings who have done so much for me,
[28:28.960 -> 28:33.760] you know, that would be an amazing feeling if I can help them back. So very early on
[28:33.760 -> 28:39.640] I thought about giving back, about compassion. And that really on reflection, I'm talking
[28:39.640 -> 28:45.360] all about reflection now because that time it was very much adapting, I would say. It's very much
[28:45.920 -> 28:52.400] looking, developing a lens to how to see the world in a different way. It's how I would describe that
[28:52.400 -> 28:57.600] people survive conflict, they survive really traumatic experiences and they live one day at a
[28:57.600 -> 29:04.080] time. I love the power of reframing and it's been spoken about on this podcast on so many different
[29:04.080 -> 29:09.740] occasions because it truly is powerful for people. I think this period in your life where you have to leave
[29:09.740 -> 29:13.540] and you decide to come to the UK and you're, you know, you're smuggled into the country
[29:13.540 -> 29:18.720] with £100 in your pocket and people are saying to you, look, just go and get a job as a taxi
[29:18.720 -> 29:24.980] driver yet you have much bigger ambitions. You know, you had this idea of being a doctor,
[29:24.980 -> 29:28.000] you ended up at the most prestigious university in the country.
[29:28.000 -> 29:34.000] You know, having lived this war-torn life in Afghanistan, I think it's the kind of story that needs to be celebrated.
[29:34.000 -> 29:39.000] But I think you should be celebrated for this point, because actually, up until this point, you always had that support.
[29:39.000 -> 29:45.920] Your mum was there, your family were there, you had protection around you, suddenly you're on your own and you
[29:45.920 -> 29:50.720] still are able to do what you need to do. And I think when Damien talks about post-traumatic growth,
[29:51.760 -> 29:56.320] you grew in those really difficult times when you were sitting in the oven and the floor of that
[29:56.320 -> 30:01.440] tiny village, you know, being shot at by the, by the enemy, you know, you grew in those moments so
[30:01.440 -> 30:05.520] that when you actually had to arrive in the UK and find your path
[30:05.520 -> 30:11.520] forward you were able to do that. I agree with that and I think you've put it so well there that
[30:11.520 -> 30:19.040] when I arrived here in the UK I was prepared. I was prepared and for me when I landed here I was
[30:19.040 -> 30:23.600] arrested, put in the back of a van and sent to prison because I didn't have the right documentation
[30:23.600 -> 30:25.800] which is of course I mean the right thing to do,
[30:25.800 -> 30:27.720] that, you know, to look for the documents.
[30:27.720 -> 30:31.600] But the fact is that people fleeing conflict,
[30:31.600 -> 30:33.560] they can't go to an embassy to get a visa.
[30:33.560 -> 30:35.280] They can't find regular routes.
[30:35.280 -> 30:37.760] I looked for that and I couldn't find any.
[30:37.760 -> 30:39.800] And that was the only way to save myself
[30:39.800 -> 30:42.720] was to be smuggled here to the UK.
[30:42.720 -> 30:46.400] And that's when I actually found a barrister who's saved me.
[30:46.400 -> 30:52.560] The first time I saw him in court, he spoke on my behalf and he told the judge that I
[30:52.560 -> 30:58.880] shouldn't be prosecuted because refugees, when they're fleeing war, they should be allowed
[30:58.880 -> 31:05.500] to take any route according to the UN Geneva Convention. So the judge agreed with that and dropped the charges.
[31:05.500 -> 31:11.500] And then my new life started when I was in the UK on my own
[31:11.500 -> 31:13.500] without any family support,
[31:13.500 -> 31:17.500] hardly any formal education with $100 in my pocket.
[31:17.500 -> 31:20.500] But I was absolutely beaming with excitement
[31:20.500 -> 31:27.320] because I saw that the opportunities that I never had in life, the schools, people trying to
[31:27.720 -> 31:34.360] work in various ways. I remember walking up and down on Portobello Road, the market on a Saturday morning
[31:35.360 -> 31:37.360] trying to find myself this
[31:37.440 -> 31:41.360] shiny jacket, you know coming from Afghanistan. We liked our shiny jackets.
[31:41.360 -> 31:46.680] And so I found this gray jacket and shiny green trousers and trainers.
[31:46.680 -> 31:49.400] I thought that was the best combination.
[31:49.400 -> 31:51.320] So that was my look for the next two years.
[31:51.320 -> 31:54.880] But, and I thought I'm sorted in when it comes to my clothes,
[31:54.880 -> 31:56.360] let's sort out the rest.
[31:56.360 -> 31:58.720] So for me, I really kind of like said,
[31:58.720 -> 32:00.160] okay, this is a new life.
[32:00.160 -> 32:02.720] Let me use every bit of it.
[32:02.720 -> 32:04.520] I started working three jobs,
[32:04.520 -> 32:08.800] which was being a salesman on Edgewood Road in London,
[32:08.800 -> 32:11.920] being a cleaner in Sussex Gardens,
[32:11.920 -> 32:16.920] and then a kitchen porter somewhere in the city.
[32:18.320 -> 32:20.360] And those are the jobs that I look for in myself.
[32:20.360 -> 32:21.800] I went from one shop to another,
[32:21.800 -> 32:23.800] you know, do you want somebody to work for you?
[32:23.800 -> 32:28.480] And the fellow refugees, they advised me to just go on and work for grocery shops. But
[32:28.480 -> 32:35.220] I went into quite a stylish shop that was selling perfumes and all that. And I went
[32:35.220 -> 32:39.800] in. So the boss was this guy who was sitting across the table. He was interviewing me and
[32:39.800 -> 32:45.200] he asked if I had a national insurance number. I thought he was asking about my phone number.
[32:45.200 -> 32:48.600] And then he realized that actually I was so new
[32:48.600 -> 32:51.160] to this country, but I convinced him.
[32:51.160 -> 32:54.480] I said, listen, I'm hardworking and I really need
[32:54.480 -> 32:57.120] to support myself and my family back in Afghanistan.
[32:57.120 -> 32:59.880] And that was another moment of kindness that he said,
[32:59.880 -> 33:03.240] you know what, you come to this basement
[33:03.240 -> 33:05.640] where his office was, every week I'll pay
[33:05.640 -> 33:09.120] you, when can you start? And I said I can start now and that was it. He gave me the
[33:09.120 -> 33:14.200] job and I stayed in that shop for three years. So I combined working that job
[33:14.200 -> 33:19.440] with studying at night time in the college, in three different colleges
[33:19.440 -> 33:23.480] to do my A-levels. Although that was extremely difficult period in terms of
[33:23.480 -> 33:30.080] combining working and studying, but for me I was so excited, I was so happy to be there. I
[33:30.080 -> 33:35.320] would from time to time sit in a park and I would look into the sky and I was
[33:35.320 -> 33:40.720] able to see the planes that were not attacking me. And I would look at
[33:40.720 -> 33:44.040] people, the soldiers here and there or police people and I said they are there
[33:44.040 -> 33:45.840] to protect me, they're not there to take me.
[33:46.040 -> 33:51.280] I was really enjoying every moment, celebrating every moment.
[33:51.480 -> 33:54.200] And that enabled me to work hard
[33:54.400 -> 33:57.680] because those were all the things I didn't have in life.
[33:57.880 -> 34:00.320] I was really using the power of the
[34:00.520 -> 34:04.120] gratitude and combined exercise with that as well.
[34:04.320 -> 34:06.840] I was very keen to do running
[34:06.840 -> 34:11.840] and martial arts and then pursuing my dream to become a doctor. So I went to King's College
[34:11.840 -> 34:18.960] in London to the admissions office. I knocked there and I said I want to become a doctor.
[34:18.960 -> 34:25.760] So this lady came in very kindly and said are you here on an open day? I said I'm not sure what
[34:25.760 -> 34:31.720] open day is but I want to become a doctor. So she actually was very kind she
[34:31.720 -> 34:35.200] showed me the prospectus and she said okay so these are the requirements I
[34:35.200 -> 34:40.920] think we're looking for and all I did was I tore that page off and put it on
[34:40.920 -> 34:45.800] the wall to become a doctor. I needed GCSE, I needed A levels
[34:45.800 -> 34:51.000] and I would get to university and I blocked out all the noise outside. So for
[34:51.000 -> 34:55.880] me it was that simple. Okay and then it was the requirement was three A's because
[34:55.880 -> 35:01.440] I didn't do GSEC so I thought let me do five A's, A levels and that will help me
[35:01.440 -> 35:05.400] you know position me better in my mind when I'm competing.
[35:05.400 -> 35:09.780] So instead of three ASs, I took five ASs.
[35:09.780 -> 35:14.540] And I think that's kind of like, it shows the pattern there, that how I was on one hand
[35:14.540 -> 35:18.560] blocking the noise outside, people putting me off from my dream.
[35:18.560 -> 35:23.040] And I was so driven to become a doctor because it had a meaning for me.
[35:23.040 -> 35:30.560] And the meaning was that it resonated with my childhood, the traumas that I'd experienced, the people who I'd seen die, that becoming
[35:30.560 -> 35:36.320] a doctor would mean that I would be able to save people like myself, people who are suffering
[35:36.320 -> 35:37.760] like I was.
[35:37.760 -> 35:42.040] And also becoming a doctor would mean that I could support my family.
[35:42.040 -> 35:50.500] So I really attached meaning to that target. It wasn't just okay I want to become a doctor, you know, have a big house and car
[35:50.500 -> 35:54.900] and so on. It was a lot deeper meaning and that's another lesson that I've
[35:54.900 -> 36:00.220] learned in life in whatever I do. Can I find that deeper meaning into it in that
[36:00.220 -> 36:05.880] activity and that really allows me to look for the solutions outside the box,
[36:05.880 -> 36:10.920] to look for people who can help me and for me to find ways, even creative ways, and that's
[36:10.920 -> 36:14.680] how innovation comes into play as well.
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[36:21.040 -> 36:24.840] and now you can get it. I'm pleased to say the High Performance app is available for
[36:24.840 -> 36:25.120] you to download now. Simply search for to say the High Performance app is available for you to
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[39:57.920 -> 40:02.080] So how can our listeners find meaning in what they do?
[40:02.600 -> 40:05.520] I think it
[40:03.000 -> 40:08.760] requires a lot of reflection, it
[40:05.520 -> 40:12.400] requires a lot of thinking. Sometimes it's
[40:08.760 -> 40:14.880] quite easy to go down the route of
[40:12.400 -> 40:17.600] paths that are created for us by other
[40:14.880 -> 40:20.040] people. You go to school, you go to
[40:17.600 -> 40:21.640] university, then suddenly you have to go
[40:20.040 -> 40:23.560] down this path and before you know it
[40:21.640 -> 40:26.440] it's mid-30s, 40s, you've got
[40:23.560 -> 40:25.520] responsibilities and you've got responsibilities and
[40:31.760 -> 40:39.760] you've really that passion, that dream is beaten out of people and that's what I strongly disagree with, is that there's a lot of pressure on people right from that you have to follow certain paths
[40:40.880 -> 40:46.800] and I worry about that is because you're really that creativity when children I see them, they're so creative
[40:47.120 -> 40:51.500] But I see why people would have to follow certain paths that created by others
[40:51.920 -> 40:55.880] And and a lot of thinking what their passions are it trying to explore them
[40:55.880 -> 41:02.560] And I think it takes a lot of time as well for people to be able to explore and it you find out whether something
[41:02.560 -> 41:09.760] Is right for them or not right. If something or a path is not right for them, then they can, on the way to
[41:09.760 -> 41:14.400] discovering about whether that path is right or not, they might find another way
[41:14.400 -> 41:19.760] which is usually the case. That they find something ultimately that resonates with
[41:19.760 -> 41:24.360] them and they're good at as well. So for me it will be a combination of is it
[41:24.360 -> 41:28.040] something that you're really interested in, is it something that you know you're good at as well. So for me it will be a combination of is it something that you're really interested in, is it something that you know you're good
[41:28.040 -> 41:33.320] at and you can become better and you can the best at it at some point is what I
[41:33.320 -> 41:39.400] see. And thirdly is there anything that can actually do to help the society? I
[41:39.400 -> 41:43.160] think that's another level that I would look at things is is it something that
[41:43.160 -> 41:50.040] can provide value to other people and that's how I narrow down the tasks ahead of me. I say, although I'm
[41:50.040 -> 41:55.560] so big on compassion, but for me, I'm very big on saying no to things, is because I want
[41:55.560 -> 42:01.800] to focus on things that are meaningful to me, that are purposeful, and I can focus on.
[42:01.800 -> 42:05.280] Because if I say yes to a task, I really want to do it in the best way possible
[42:05.840 -> 42:11.360] and I want to do it to help as many people as possible. So it's a combination of what I'm
[42:11.360 -> 42:19.600] interested in and what my passion is and how can I do things to help people and now how can I do it
[42:19.600 -> 42:30.080] differently. That's an interesting point because I think that so much of what you do is purpose driven, you know, Arianne Tellahill, which is working in conflict zones to look
[42:30.080 -> 42:33.920] after people and provide healthcare, Arianne Wellbeing to make sure that, you know, people
[42:33.920 -> 42:39.800] are being properly supported, particularly with mental health care, but doing it differently.
[42:39.800 -> 42:44.840] Why is, why is that an important lesson for our listeners to learn from the importance
[42:44.840 -> 42:45.000] of not just doing something, but doing something differently? is, why is that an important lesson for our listeners to learn from the importance of
[42:45.000 -> 42:47.960] not just doing something, but doing something differently?
[42:47.960 -> 42:57.080] I think that's where I find competitions and quite motivating as well. You know, if I see
[42:57.080 -> 43:02.520] that I'm doing something a bit differently, and that adds value, not differently for the
[43:02.520 -> 43:06.060] sake of it, but doing it, that it can help more people.
[43:06.060 -> 43:09.000] It can bring more efficiency.
[43:09.000 -> 43:12.300] It can really add value to the lives of the people
[43:12.300 -> 43:15.000] who are suffering, and it can solve a problem.
[43:15.000 -> 43:17.280] It becomes really motivating for me.
[43:17.280 -> 43:20.600] And when I search that so many people have done it
[43:20.600 -> 43:23.240] and they're doing an amazing job, I applaud them.
[43:23.240 -> 43:25.920] And I take lessons that, OK, well done.
[43:25.920 -> 43:27.800] You actually embarked on this path.
[43:27.800 -> 43:29.880] You're doing this work.
[43:29.880 -> 43:31.440] And what are the lessons for me?
[43:31.440 -> 43:36.640] So I quickly review their work, their profile, individuals.
[43:36.640 -> 43:40.960] That's how I keep myself motivated by so many founders,
[43:40.960 -> 43:44.520] by so many people who go through adversity and find,
[43:44.520 -> 43:48.520] how do they find actually overcoming these challenges, whether it's at work, whether
[43:48.520 -> 43:55.040] it's in their family, or whether it's the organizations they've founded. But
[43:55.040 -> 43:58.440] then if I come across a problem that I'm passionate about, which is mental health,
[43:58.440 -> 44:02.200] initially it was, for example, the philanthropic work that I went to
[44:02.200 -> 44:05.360] Afghanistan back and forth and I saw that
[44:05.920 -> 44:10.560] people didn't have access to specialist care. My own parents had to travel to another country
[44:10.560 -> 44:17.280] to get specialist care and a lot of people would have to sell their houses or their cattle to be
[44:17.280 -> 44:21.120] able to afford the journey and by the end of the journey they would do a couple of tests,
[44:21.120 -> 44:25.000] they'll get a specialist opinion, they'll come back without any intervention.
[44:25.000 -> 44:27.120] So for me, that was a big problem.
[44:27.120 -> 44:30.680] And the community suffering, the severity of the problem
[44:30.680 -> 44:32.800] was very, very high.
[44:32.800 -> 44:35.920] And that's what interested me, is that even if I can work
[44:35.920 -> 44:38.040] towards a solution for this, that
[44:38.040 -> 44:42.280] means that it can help people tremendously.
[44:42.280 -> 44:44.440] And that motivated me that I have to look for it.
[44:44.440 -> 44:45.560] And the other aspect of motivation was that when have to look for it and the other
[44:45.560 -> 44:49.900] aspect of motivation was that when I spoke about it here in the NHS working
[44:49.900 -> 44:54.400] as a doctor I realized that so many people wanted to help and I saw that
[44:54.400 -> 44:59.480] actually people want to help even though they don't know a stranger. So the
[44:59.480 -> 45:09.260] compassion exists in the world and I saw it amongst my own colleagues. That was actually the beginning or the origins of Teleheal, Aero and Teleheal, which now
[45:09.260 -> 45:14.900] connects medical specialists from the NHS and across the world to medics in Afghanistan
[45:14.900 -> 45:16.960] and other low resource countries.
[45:16.960 -> 45:21.440] And they provide life-saving device on an emergency front on smartphones.
[45:21.440 -> 45:28.000] But the origin is actually that there was a problem that I understood, the community who was suffering the problem
[45:28.000 -> 45:32.000] and ways to solve it was through collective
[45:32.000 -> 45:36.000] compassion and the technology just became an enabler
[45:36.000 -> 45:40.000] and that is actually the key components of innovation
[45:40.000 -> 45:44.000] it's the technology doesn't come at the top, it's technology
[45:44.000 -> 45:46.000] comes lower down.
[45:46.000 -> 45:51.000] And those are the lessons that I've taken now from the philanthropic work in Afghanistan
[45:51.000 -> 45:54.000] and across the globe that I've done it for nearly a decade.
[45:54.000 -> 46:00.000] And I'm using all those methods to solve the global mental health crisis.
[46:00.000 -> 46:04.000] So for listeners, one in four people suffers from a mental health condition.
[46:04.000 -> 46:09.000] And for people who go through really traumatic experiences such as conflict,
[46:09.000 -> 46:20.000] it's about 22% that actually they suffer from some sort of severe mental health condition like PTSD, anxiety or depression.
[46:20.000 -> 46:25.240] It's a World Health Report that published that, and I was very honored to launch that myself
[46:25.240 -> 46:28.960] at the World Health Organization last year, these figures.
[46:28.960 -> 46:30.880] So now if you look at the crisis globally,
[46:30.880 -> 46:33.920] there are hundreds of millions of people who are suffering.
[46:33.920 -> 46:36.760] So that's the scale of the problem that we have.
[46:36.760 -> 46:39.040] And sadly, I see it firsthand how
[46:39.040 -> 46:41.720] people suffer in the NHS, in the National Health Service,
[46:41.720 -> 46:44.040] where I'm an A&E doctor.
[46:44.040 -> 46:45.840] Every shift that I spend, I see people
[46:45.840 -> 46:48.760] who are coming in who are trying to commit suicide.
[46:48.760 -> 46:50.280] They take overdose.
[46:50.280 -> 46:51.960] They drink.
[46:51.960 -> 46:55.320] But there is a lot deeper problem that exists there
[46:55.320 -> 46:58.060] is that they have suffered from trauma
[46:58.060 -> 47:00.600] in a lot of the situations.
[47:00.600 -> 47:04.520] They have deeper mental health issues that are not solved,
[47:04.520 -> 47:10.520] and they're not tackled. The people who are experiencing it, they're from all ages, from mothers,
[47:10.520 -> 47:16.080] from young men, elderly, children and that's really heartbreaking for me
[47:16.080 -> 47:21.000] because I can relate to them from a position of empathy. I suffered
[47:21.000 -> 47:29.600] from depressive symptoms when I was a child, 10 year old, and in the UK I suffered, when I came as a child refugee, I suffered
[47:29.600 -> 47:35.840] from PTSD symptoms like hypervigilance, I had nightmares,
[47:35.840 -> 47:40.720] I also had flashbacks whenever I would look at
[47:40.720 -> 47:43.760] the red bus in London, it would turn into a tank for me.
[47:43.760 -> 47:46.400] In the middle of the night I would have these nightmares
[47:46.400 -> 47:48.680] that a sniper would be taking my head off.
[47:48.680 -> 47:50.860] So I had to open a window to see for myself
[47:50.860 -> 47:54.280] that I was in London, I wasn't in a war zone.
[47:54.280 -> 47:57.920] Now when I see, although not exactly the same,
[47:57.920 -> 48:00.720] but I have that level of empathy for the people
[48:00.720 -> 48:03.760] and that's where my passion comes in,
[48:03.760 -> 48:05.440] that I need to do something about this
[48:05.440 -> 48:11.400] problem because the solutions that I look at really don't tackle them comprehensively.
[48:11.400 -> 48:15.560] For example in the NHS the waiting time is one to two years just to be able to get an
[48:15.560 -> 48:22.080] assessment and a lot of the time actually the assessment that happens sadly isn't done
[48:22.080 -> 48:23.880] by an expert.
[48:23.880 -> 48:25.800] So we're really not trying to tackle the root
[48:25.800 -> 48:31.040] cause of a problem. A lot of times people suffer from really complex mental health
[48:31.040 -> 48:35.240] issues. On the surface you might see a bit of anxiety, you might see a little
[48:35.240 -> 48:39.560] bit of depression or some depressive symptoms, but deep down when you talk to
[48:39.560 -> 48:43.120] them, when they're assessed properly, there is so much going on. So for me for
[48:43.120 -> 48:49.160] example that flashback that I explained, that symbolizes 15 years of war. So for somebody to
[48:49.160 -> 48:54.280] understand, to go deep into that, which later on was through a clinical
[48:54.280 -> 48:57.800] psychologist, and I'm still taking therapy myself in that sense and
[48:57.800 -> 49:03.080] continuing with it, it requires so much knowledge, so much expertise, and that's
[49:03.080 -> 49:05.240] why part of the solution is that
[49:05.240 -> 49:09.920] I'm working on to bring in experts at the top, clinical psychologists with the
[49:09.920 -> 49:15.520] expertise of knowledge of knowing various modalities of therapies and then
[49:15.520 -> 49:20.360] looking at that client or that patient holistically to see what the problem is
[49:20.360 -> 49:24.560] and secondly the trauma-informed care a lot of the mental health conditions
[49:24.560 -> 49:28.960] almost all of them or nearly all of them, they have got some
[49:28.960 -> 49:33.760] elements of trauma, whether people have experienced it as a child or as an adult.
[49:33.760 -> 49:40.240] And third aspect is that we don't really have a lot of culturally sensitive
[49:40.240 -> 49:45.040] solutions, and that worries me. When you look at populations such as the BAME
[49:45.040 -> 49:49.200] populations, marginalised communities, even if they're not refugees, I'm talking
[49:49.200 -> 49:53.400] about people who are born in the UK or have been to the US and I've seen the
[49:53.400 -> 49:57.480] black communities that suffer, but really we don't have solutions that are a bit
[49:57.480 -> 50:04.920] more tailored or experts who understand their culture, what's going on. So
[50:04.920 -> 50:07.080] that's another aspect of the motivation for me,
[50:07.080 -> 50:08.960] working in the area of wellbeing.
[50:08.960 -> 50:11.960] And the final aspect is that we usually treat
[50:11.960 -> 50:14.320] mind and body so separately.
[50:14.320 -> 50:17.680] We think gym is for exercise and therapy is for mind,
[50:17.680 -> 50:19.200] whereas it's wrong.
[50:19.200 -> 50:21.400] For me, I go to gym mainly because of my mind.
[50:21.400 -> 50:23.280] You know, I do it so routinely.
[50:23.280 -> 50:29.200] I can't miss the gym because that's the one place where after two or three days when I've done, heard
[50:29.200 -> 50:33.600] some really horrible stories or doing philanthropic work or listening to other
[50:33.600 -> 50:37.800] people suffering A&E, but that's the one area that when I go I feel that I have
[50:37.800 -> 50:42.260] let that tension out. And there is evidence for it is that, you know,
[50:42.260 -> 50:47.120] exercise is actually a frontline treatment for prevention and treatment,
[50:47.120 -> 50:50.840] actually, for depression and conditions like anxiety
[50:50.840 -> 50:52.160] that has not exploded.
[50:52.160 -> 50:54.880] So putting all that together, exercise,
[50:54.880 -> 50:57.520] connecting mind and body, trauma-informed, culturally
[50:57.520 -> 51:01.640] sensitive, all that, and put it on a smartphone or a laptop
[51:01.640 -> 51:03.120] is what Aryan Wellbeing is.
[51:03.120 -> 51:04.980] And that's the dream for me, for people
[51:04.980 -> 51:10.320] to be able to access it anywhere, later on around the globe, but for now, starting
[51:10.320 -> 51:11.320] in the UK.
[51:11.320 -> 51:15.000] Toby In the current age of where there's a narrative
[51:15.000 -> 51:21.320] around asylum seekers and illegal immigrants coming in, and I think there's something around
[51:21.320 -> 51:29.480] the dehumanization of the way we refer to these people on boats and that kind of political narrative and yet so much of
[51:29.480 -> 51:33.760] what you're talking about is about empathy and kindness and treating people
[51:33.760 -> 51:40.960] with compassion. Can you just tell us some of your top three tips on how we
[51:40.960 -> 51:48.000] can all be a little bit more empathetic towards each other. So, I've been through so many traumas in my life,
[51:48.000 -> 51:53.000] countless traumas, and other people, they've been through their own traumas,
[51:53.000 -> 51:58.000] and we are on our own trajectories in life, challenges, traumas.
[51:58.000 -> 52:03.000] But for me, what I've discovered is that it's the compassion of other people
[52:03.000 -> 52:06.360] that along the way of countless people that along the ways of countless
[52:06.360 -> 52:12.640] people that have transformed my life to help me to become who I am now. So many
[52:12.640 -> 52:17.680] to name and for me now to be able to give that compassion to other people is
[52:17.680 -> 52:25.000] that it's brought meaning to my life and it's brought joy, fulfillment.
[52:25.000 -> 52:29.000] And I'm trying to instill that in other people in what I do.
[52:29.000 -> 52:34.000] And I do believe that we all have it in us, in one way or another.
[52:34.000 -> 52:39.000] It doesn't have to be big things that we have to do, big companies or big organizations.
[52:39.000 -> 52:42.000] It could take actually for how we speak with each other,
[52:42.000 -> 52:48.600] how we communicate with our neighbor, how we receive marginalized, how we interact with our...
[52:48.600 -> 52:52.600] in particular with vulnerable communities such as the homeless,
[52:52.600 -> 52:56.200] such as the refugees, such as the asylum seekers.
[52:56.200 -> 52:58.600] It's very easy to pick on them.
[52:58.600 -> 53:02.600] The opposite is also true is we can re-traumatize them more
[53:02.600 -> 53:08.480] by picking on them, by weaponizing them, by politicizing them, because they don't have a voice.
[53:08.480 -> 53:12.240] And that's sadly what's going on in the narrative, is that it's easy to pick on
[53:12.240 -> 53:15.120] refugees in the media, it's very easy to pick
[53:15.120 -> 53:18.240] on them in conferences, because they don't have a platform to
[53:18.240 -> 53:22.080] defend themselves, they don't have a way to tell their each
[53:22.080 -> 53:27.040] individual stories which are so different. But on
[53:27.040 -> 53:31.600] the other hand we have a choice, you know, we can extend a helping hand to somebody
[53:31.600 -> 53:35.640] who is homeless, to somebody who's got mental health problem, to somebody who's
[53:35.640 -> 53:41.640] a refugee. And that is how we can actually transform our own community and
[53:41.640 -> 53:46.160] that's how I believe we can bring that joy into our own lives.
[53:46.160 -> 53:51.520] Right, we've reached the point where we bring you our quickfire questions and the first one is,
[53:51.520 -> 53:56.840] what are the three non-negotiable behaviours that you and the people around you should buy into?
[53:56.840 -> 54:07.600] The three non-negotiable behaviours, I would say one is to be able to show compassion in what I say and in what I do.
[54:07.600 -> 54:12.200] And the second one would be, and I'm learning this more and more every day, is to keep looking
[54:12.200 -> 54:13.200] after myself.
[54:13.200 -> 54:18.560] I've spent a lot of my life trying to help my family, trying to help other people, but
[54:18.560 -> 54:26.440] recently I've been thinking, you know, exercise, therapy, eating well, and doing all the things that I preach elsewhere
[54:26.440 -> 54:31.080] and I try to do that for myself. And thirdly, I would say the third behavior
[54:31.080 -> 54:35.760] would be to look for meanings in what I do. It may make it sound that I'm taking
[54:35.760 -> 54:42.560] spontaneity out but it really, it may do, but it really brings a deeper fulfillment
[54:42.560 -> 54:45.280] in even the small tasks. If I'm meeting someone,
[54:45.280 -> 54:50.440] talking to someone, then that really, I enjoy that conversation more. Even coming
[54:50.440 -> 54:54.080] to the podcast, I knew that if your audience is listening to this and they
[54:54.080 -> 54:58.400] can maybe help two, three or four people, that would be absolutely mind-blowing.
[54:58.400 -> 55:03.200] If you could go back to one moment of your life, what would it be and why? One
[55:03.200 -> 55:06.320] moment in my life, going back to
[55:06.320 -> 55:11.520] my younger self when I was trying to create this imaginary world and to dream
[55:11.520 -> 55:17.800] about a better life and to say that one day things will be okay despite me
[55:17.800 -> 55:22.680] living under bombs, I'd go back and tell that person that continued dreaming that
[55:22.680 -> 55:31.480] dream will come true. I didn't know if it would, but I was betting that one day it would. And I think I would just reassure
[55:31.480 -> 55:36.720] him, tap him on his back and say that, you know, mate, you're doing the right thing.
[55:36.720 -> 55:40.680] Just stick to what you're doing and not to give up on hope.
[55:40.680 -> 55:44.420] If you could recommend one book to our listeners, we have a book club called the High Performance
[55:44.420 -> 55:47.000] Book Club, and it can't be your own, unfortunately. If you could recommend one book to our listeners, we have a book club called the High Performance Book Club, and it can't be your own, unfortunately.
[55:47.000 -> 55:53.000] If you could recommend one book to them that's maybe made a difference for you, what would you recommend?
[55:53.000 -> 55:55.000] The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind.
[55:55.000 -> 56:05.480] So this is a book by William Kamkwamba, who is a Malawian engineer. So this is a boy, the story resonates in some
[56:05.480 -> 56:10.880] aspects with my own background story. What he did was he used the power of
[56:10.880 -> 56:16.720] the wind turbine to power electricity for his own house and his local
[56:16.720 -> 56:22.520] community. He couldn't go to school or he was kicked out of school and he
[56:22.520 -> 56:25.600] couldn't afford, but it was the problem,
[56:25.600 -> 56:31.760] he was so problem driven that despite his lack of expertise in engineering, he understood
[56:31.760 -> 56:36.520] that there was a problem in the community. He worked on that and he tried to add value
[56:36.520 -> 56:42.000] to the people, whether it's his own family and to local community. And that in a way
[56:42.000 -> 56:47.000] symbolizes what innovation is about. It is about looking at a problem,
[56:47.000 -> 56:50.000] trying to see the people who are experiencing a problem
[56:50.000 -> 56:52.000] and to do help those people.
[56:52.000 -> 56:56.000] He developed it actually from parts of broken pieces,
[56:56.000 -> 56:58.000] metal everywhere.
[56:58.000 -> 57:01.000] And that shows that you don't have to have shiny technologies
[57:01.000 -> 57:02.000] to make a difference.
[57:02.000 -> 57:08.880] The reality is if we stick with humanity, if we stick with how we can help each other, we will always be ahead of
[57:08.880 -> 57:14.280] innovation as long as we look after each other. What's your biggest strength and
[57:14.280 -> 57:19.080] your greatest weakness? I think my biggest strength now would be that
[57:19.080 -> 57:25.720] probably focusing a lot on meaning and trying to give compassion but that has become a
[57:25.720 -> 57:33.840] weakness as well in a way that I can get consumed by trying to help others and in
[57:33.840 -> 57:38.760] the process it can really affect me as well that I forget about myself so get
[57:38.760 -> 57:46.720] that balance right and it can be a double-edged sword, I would say. I recently, I'll give you an example,
[57:46.720 -> 57:53.040] I recently went and, so I'm involved in this docuseries that will come later this year,
[57:54.160 -> 58:00.480] and I visited some displaced people. And after spending a week really trying to
[58:01.520 -> 58:07.200] talk about their stories and see if I, how could help them and by the end of it,
[58:07.200 -> 58:14.400] I was actually a bit re-traumatized because I had immersed myself so much that I had to take a week
[58:14.400 -> 58:21.320] off to recover. And although I tried to help, but you know, the extent I went into was really
[58:21.320 -> 58:27.000] impacted me. Getting that balance right is not easy. It's something that I really tackle with.
[58:27.000 -> 58:32.000] The biggest moment of failure in your life and how you dealt with it?
[58:32.000 -> 58:37.000] The first one was that when I landed in the UK I was arrested.
[58:37.000 -> 58:42.000] And at that time actually my whole world turned upside down
[58:42.000 -> 58:45.640] because I was told that I would be imprisoned for about a year, a
[58:45.640 -> 58:48.320] year and a half because I didn't have the right documentation and I'll be
[58:48.320 -> 58:53.680] sent back to Afghanistan. And I think that's the time when I saw myself as a
[58:53.680 -> 59:00.240] failure because my parents had spent all their money to send me away and I just
[59:00.240 -> 59:07.540] landed here in the UK. You know I just about touch, but I could not live it in a way to
[59:07.540 -> 59:12.860] educate myself and to find a job to support myself and to help my family and to realize
[59:12.860 -> 59:13.860] my dream.
[59:13.860 -> 59:16.020] And I had ruined it all.
[59:16.020 -> 59:20.180] And so for people, when they read my memoir, they will know why that happened.
[59:20.180 -> 59:24.140] It was because of an incident on the plane that I tried to burn my passport.
[59:24.140 -> 59:25.700] So it was my fault.
[59:25.700 -> 59:31.100] I was told that by the smugglers that you have to get rid of your passport when you
[59:31.100 -> 59:32.100] land.
[59:32.100 -> 59:37.100] You know, the smugglers, they would give instructions that you have to follow the instructions strictly.
[59:37.100 -> 59:38.220] And it didn't work for me.
[59:38.220 -> 59:39.660] I was arrested.
[59:39.660 -> 59:44.100] That was the one time that I couldn't find a way out of it in my head.
[59:44.100 -> 59:45.000] And that's probably the only time that it crossed my mind that way out of it in my head and that's probably the
[59:45.000 -> 59:49.360] only time that it crossed my mind that you know is it actually worth living if
[59:49.360 -> 59:53.760] that would be the case and I immediately erased that thought I said you know what
[59:53.760 -> 59:58.880] I'm sure there is a way out and I started writing down my case in the
[59:58.880 -> 01:00:10.920] prison in Fulton Young Offenders Institute so I really wrote down pages and pages and pages how I would be telling the judge you know why I escaped from Afghanistan
[01:00:10.920 -> 01:00:16.800] and my whole life I wrote it down first there and how I would argue and
[01:00:16.800 -> 01:00:20.560] convince them that you know I should be allowed to stay in this country that I
[01:00:20.560 -> 01:00:24.480] would be good citizen that I would be somebody who would help the community
[01:00:24.480 -> 01:00:28.880] and one other example I would give is that I saw myself as a
[01:00:28.880 -> 01:00:35.480] failure was when I got into Cambridge University and when I started university
[01:00:35.480 -> 01:00:39.440] you know I was there amongst you know best of the best in the world and
[01:00:39.440 -> 01:00:43.320] suddenly I realized that because of my lack of education because I hadn't been
[01:00:43.320 -> 01:00:48.380] to school, although I had done the A-level requirement, but I was exposed.
[01:00:48.380 -> 01:00:51.060] I couldn't read as fast.
[01:00:51.060 -> 01:00:56.440] I couldn't actually register or listen to the teachers, because for the first time I
[01:00:56.440 -> 01:01:00.080] was in a class and it happened to be at Cambridge.
[01:01:00.080 -> 01:01:03.540] So for me I was absolutely out of my depth.
[01:01:03.540 -> 01:01:06.760] And then a lot of people who struggle in the beginning
[01:01:06.760 -> 01:01:08.960] at university at Cambridge, they go on to struggle
[01:01:08.960 -> 01:01:11.280] for the next few years.
[01:01:11.280 -> 01:01:13.800] And the tutor told me that you really
[01:01:13.800 -> 01:01:15.840] have to look at what's going on here.
[01:01:15.840 -> 01:01:17.120] But I didn't give up on that.
[01:01:17.120 -> 01:01:20.360] So what I knew deep down, and I couldn't even tell my tutors
[01:01:20.360 -> 01:01:22.000] that I hadn't been to school.
[01:01:22.000 -> 01:01:23.560] Because on my application, I said,
[01:01:23.560 -> 01:01:27.240] I have been to school in Afghanistan. And they didn't inquire about it too much
[01:01:27.240 -> 01:01:32.440] so I said some white lies there but then what I did was I found a way to speed
[01:01:32.440 -> 01:01:38.040] read I found a way to be able to read large amount of information because what
[01:01:38.040 -> 01:01:42.440] I was trying to do was to memorize everything which I thought was the way
[01:01:42.440 -> 01:01:49.280] forward and it wasn't and I spent so many nights on my own working out how to read,
[01:01:49.920 -> 01:01:51.920] how to learn, how to learn.
[01:01:52.400 -> 01:01:55.600] And that allowed me actually to get a first in my third year
[01:01:56.560 -> 01:01:58.560] for my research project because I didn't give up on it.
[01:01:59.120 -> 01:02:01.840] But I was a failure because I couldn't
[01:02:03.200 -> 01:02:06.660] compete with them. I got a third class in my
[01:02:06.660 -> 01:02:13.400] first year. I failed subjects and there were students I couldn't even interact
[01:02:13.400 -> 01:02:18.640] with because my social skills were absolutely non-existent and I was
[01:02:18.640 -> 01:02:25.480] struggling with PTSD as well. So the combination of all that at university came at me so hardly
[01:02:25.480 -> 01:02:31.400] that but I've still kept on with my usual tested methods which was
[01:02:31.400 -> 01:02:35.960] gratitude, which was being thankful for being at university, being thankful for
[01:02:35.960 -> 01:02:41.520] being in the UK to be safe, being thankful to to help my family, combine
[01:02:41.520 -> 01:02:45.080] that with exercise and knowing that one day I will make it as a
[01:02:45.080 -> 01:02:50.200] doctor. It's incredible. So the final question then Waheed is what is your one
[01:02:50.200 -> 01:02:55.100] golden rule to live in a high-performance life? One golden rule
[01:02:55.100 -> 01:03:01.940] for me to live a high-performance life would be that we have one life and for
[01:03:01.940 -> 01:03:08.600] me to make the most of it. For me that when I reach to a stage towards the
[01:03:08.600 -> 01:03:13.680] end of life is that I can reflect on and I can be proud of that I've helped a few
[01:03:13.680 -> 01:03:17.840] people along the way. It's something that would make me very proud and I just
[01:03:17.840 -> 01:03:23.840] stick to that rule. I love that. Can I just say thank you so much for your
[01:03:23.840 -> 01:03:26.680] story, for your honesty, for your honesty, for the
[01:03:26.680 -> 01:03:32.960] resilience, for the empathy that you've shown. And I think you are a great example to people
[01:03:32.960 -> 01:03:37.280] that you can have the hardest start in life, but your future isn't determined. And despite
[01:03:37.280 -> 01:03:41.340] everything that you went through and everything that was thrown at you and all of the traumas
[01:03:41.340 -> 01:03:49.600] that you had to deal with, you know, the fact that empathy and compassion is still central to what you do, it speaks volumes about you as a person.
[01:03:49.600 -> 01:03:54.240] Thank you so much. I'm really honoured. It's not easy always, but I found that, you know,
[01:03:54.240 -> 01:03:58.960] going to the stories, it requires a level of compassion from you guys as well. And I
[01:03:58.960 -> 01:04:05.320] think that's you as a team, you've made me, you've allowed me to bring out that authenticity.
[01:04:05.520 -> 01:04:09.200] And so I have to thank you.
[01:04:12.160 -> 01:04:17.040] Damien, Jake, I am always amazed by people who can have the kind of trauma
[01:04:17.240 -> 01:04:20.440] and the challenge and the difficulties in life that we've just heard,
[01:04:20.640 -> 01:04:24.640] yet still put empathy and understanding and care for their
[01:04:24.840 -> 01:04:26.360] fellow human being at the forefront of their mind. yet still put empathy and understanding
[01:04:23.600 -> 01:04:28.280] and care for their fellow human being at
[01:04:26.360 -> 01:04:31.000] the forefront of their mind. Yeah, I mean
[01:04:28.280 -> 01:04:33.880] what an utterly, utterly spellbinding
[01:04:31.000 -> 01:04:36.160] journey that Waheed has been on. I think
[01:04:33.880 -> 01:04:39.040] that story will live with me a long
[01:04:36.160 -> 01:04:42.720] time, the one of his father putting him in
[01:04:39.040 -> 01:04:44.920] that bakery hole to protect him from
[01:04:42.720 -> 01:04:45.000] fighter jets that are coming over the top i'w gynllunio o jetau ffyrdd sy'n dod ar y top
[01:04:45.000 -> 01:05:10.000] a'i ddweud i'w ffyrdd, dwi'n eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eich bod yn eichdod i'r Lloegr fel boy o 15 oed a bod yn un sydd wedi rhoi yr hogau a'u gogledd i ei ffamiliaid i ymdrechu ag y pwysau honno.
[01:05:10.000 -> 01:05:14.000] Felly i wneud y pwysoedd hwnnw, ac i gyd i ddod allan o hynny,
[01:05:14.000 -> 01:05:18.000] gyda'r optimistiaeth ymwneudol, y bobl teimlo arbennigol
[01:05:18.000 -> 01:05:20.000] a'r decyniaeth dynol honno,
[01:05:20.000 -> 01:05:22.000] mae'n darlunio i'r dynol.
[01:05:22.000 -> 01:05:28.520] Dwi'n credu na fyddai unrhyw un sy'n mynd i'w gwrando i'r hyn ac nid y byddai'n mynd i'r ffordd o fewn i'w gael ysbrydol. is a testimony to the human spirit. I think, I can't think of anyone that would have listened to that and wouldn't walk away feeling utterly inspired by him.
[01:05:28.520 -> 01:05:30.640] Toby Vayne And I'm glad you mentioned the human spirit
[01:05:30.640 -> 01:05:35.480] there. I think it's also a reminder that human beings can cope with a lot. Human beings are
[01:05:35.480 -> 01:05:40.160] naturally resilient people, you know, and there may well be some folk listening to this
[01:05:40.160 -> 01:05:43.160] at the moment that are just finding life a bit overwhelming and hard. And I think there's
[01:05:43.160 -> 01:05:47.080] a, there's a big message
[01:05:44.800 -> 01:05:49.360] coming through from that episode that you
[01:05:47.080 -> 01:05:51.960] can do hard things and just hang in there,
[01:05:49.360 -> 01:05:54.360] see it through and you will come out the
[01:05:51.960 -> 01:05:56.680] other side, nothing's forever. Yeah, I
[01:05:54.360 -> 01:05:59.040] mean another response that he'd gave
[01:05:56.680 -> 01:06:00.600] us that really sort of moved me was, you
[01:05:59.040 -> 01:06:02.760] know that story when he said that when
[01:06:00.600 -> 01:06:04.440] he first came to London and he just lay
[01:06:02.760 -> 01:06:07.560] on the grass and he was looking at the
[01:06:04.440 -> 01:06:06.000] planes in the sky and he was grateful yn ystod ei ddweud pan ddewis i Lundain, ac roedd yn le ar y gwrthwyneb, ac roedd yn edrych ar y fflenau yn y fflen,
[01:06:06.000 -> 01:06:08.000] ac roedd yn ddiolchgar
[01:06:08.000 -> 01:06:10.000] bod y fflenau hwnnw'n fflenio ar y ffwrdd
[01:06:10.000 -> 01:06:12.000] ddim yn ceisio drosodd bombau arnodd.
[01:06:12.000 -> 01:06:14.000] Ac rwy'n credu bod rhywbeth ynghylch hynny
[01:06:14.000 -> 01:06:16.000] rwy'n gwybod ei fod yn dod o
[01:06:16.000 -> 01:06:18.000] profiadau traumatig gwirioneddol,
[01:06:18.000 -> 01:06:20.000] ond mae magiau ynghylch
[01:06:20.000 -> 01:06:22.000] y rhan fwyaf o'n gilydd
[01:06:22.000 -> 01:06:24.000] os ydyn ni'n cofio edrych arno.
[01:06:24.000 -> 01:06:28.000] Ac mae gweithio'n g gallu, yn edrych ar y pethau mawr,
[01:06:28.000 -> 01:06:32.000] yn ei galvaniseo a'n rhoi'r eang a'r gored
[01:06:32.000 -> 01:06:34.000] i fod yn gallu cymryd ymlaen,
[01:06:34.000 -> 01:06:36.000] er mwyn i'r amserau, yn eu haf,
[01:06:36.000 -> 01:06:37.000] neu, yn ei gysylltiad,
[01:06:37.000 -> 01:06:41.000] yn teimlo'n llunio a'n ymhellach o'r holl ffyrdd.
[01:06:41.000 -> 01:06:44.000] Ac rwy'n credu dyna sut rhaid i ni ddysgu
[01:06:44.000 -> 01:06:45.760] i'n hymdrech a'n gofio ein hunain, miles away from home. And I think that's
[01:06:42.840 -> 01:06:48.560] how we have to learn to nurture and care
[01:06:45.760 -> 01:06:50.200] for our own human spirit that then gives
[01:06:48.560 -> 01:06:52.440] us a capacity to go and do it for
[01:06:50.200 -> 01:06:55.040] others. And that to me is high
[01:06:52.440 -> 01:06:57.680] performance, just in a slightly different
[01:06:55.040 -> 01:07:02.440] guise. Thanks a lot mate. Thank you mate.
[01:06:57.680 -> 01:07:04.560] Again a real privilege. Well how about
[01:07:02.440 -> 01:07:05.960] that for a conversation? Listen if you
[01:07:04.560 -> 01:07:05.960] would like more from High Performance,
[01:07:05.960 -> 01:07:10.240] then we've created the High Performance app, which gives you a daily boost, it gives you
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[01:07:15.120 -> 01:07:22.120] Just click the link in the description to this podcast, or head to our website, thehighperformancepodcast.com
[01:07:22.120 -> 01:07:56.380] to find out more. But thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you soon for more from High Performance. Shopify helped businesses break sales records over the holidays with the world's best converting
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