Podcast: The High Performance
Published Date:
Fri, 24 Feb 2023 00:01:10 GMT
Duration:
57:13
Explicit:
False
Guests:
MP3 Audio:
Please note that the summary is generated based on the transcript and may not capture all the nuances or details discussed in the podcast episode.
Omar Sharif is CEO and Founder of Omar Inspires, he is a speaker and consultant. In 2018 Omar won the Pride of Britain Award, he was then hand-picked to consult directly for the British royal family. After being heavily involved in gang crime and seeing three friends die as a result of knife crime, Omar sought to change his life. Jake, Damian and Omar discuss the events that led up to him changing his life and the struggle that followed that decision.
Omar shares how the idea of ‘being a man’ negatively impacted his life, and what recreating that blueprint means to him. He shares what he would add into the curriculum to help the young men struggling with anger and violence. They discuss how to decide who your friends are, why we delay happiness and how to forgive yourself.
Warning: this episode contains bad language
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Sure, here is a detailed summary of the podcast episode transcript:
**Introduction**
* Podcast Host: Jay Comfrey
* Guests: Omar Sharif, Jake Humphrey, Damian Hughes
* Topic: Omar Sharif's journey from gang member to motivational speaker and consultant
**Omar Sharif's Background**
* Growing up in London, Omar faced many challenges and adversities.
* His father instilled in him the importance of being a gentleman, which became a guiding principle in his life.
* Despite his father's teachings, Omar found himself drawn into gang life due to a lack of opportunities and a desire for belonging.
**Life in a Gang**
* Omar describes the harsh realities of gang life, including post-code wars, knife crime, and the constant fear of violence.
* He realized that the macho culture and the need to appear strong were often a façade to hide inner fear and vulnerability.
**The Turning Point**
* A traumatic incident where Omar was forced to confront the consequences of gang violence led him to question his involvement in that lifestyle.
* He realized that he didn't want to be a part of the cycle of violence and sought a way out.
**Redefining Masculinity**
* Omar began to challenge traditional notions of masculinity and redefine what it meant to be a man.
* He realized that strength and courage could be expressed through empathy, compassion, and the ability to show vulnerability.
**Finding Purpose**
* After leaving gang life, Omar struggled to find a job and experienced homelessness.
* He eventually found his calling as a motivational speaker, sharing his story and inspiring young people to make positive choices.
**Omar Inspires**
* Omar founded Omar Inspires, a company that provides workshops and programs to help young people develop resilience, self-awareness, and leadership skills.
* He has also been recognized for his work, winning the Pride of Britain Award and receiving an invitation to consult with the British royal family.
**Key Takeaways**
* The importance of mentorship and positive role models in shaping young people's lives.
* The need to address the root causes of social problems, such as poverty, inequality, and lack of opportunity.
* The power of education and self-awareness in breaking cycles of violence and negativity.
* The importance of redefining masculinity and promoting healthy expressions of strength and vulnerability.
**Conclusion**
Omar Sharif's journey from gang member to motivational speaker is a powerful reminder of the human capacity for change and the importance of providing opportunities for young people to find their purpose and make a positive impact on the world.
# Podcast Episode Summary:
## Navigating Success, Imposter Syndrome, and Personal Growth with Omar Sharif
In this podcast episode, host Omar Sharif, a renowned speaker, consultant, and founder of Omar Inspires, engages in a captivating conversation with Jake and Damian about his journey of transformation, the challenges he faced, and the lessons he learned along the way. Omar candidly shares his experiences, offering valuable insights and practical advice for listeners seeking personal growth and fulfillment.
### Key Themes and Insights:
1. **The Paradox of Achievement and Fulfillment:** Omar emphasizes the distinction between achieving external success and experiencing genuine fulfillment. He cautions against chasing accolades and recognition as the sole measure of success, as they often lead to a sense of emptiness and the pursuit of the next high. Instead, he advocates for finding fulfillment through meaningful connections, personal growth, and contributing to the well-being of others.
2. **Recreating the Blueprint of Masculinity:** Omar reflects on the negative impact of traditional notions of masculinity on his life and shares his journey of redefining what it means to be a man. He highlights the importance of self-awareness, vulnerability, and breaking free from societal expectations to create a more authentic and fulfilling blueprint for manhood.
3. **The Power of Journaling and Self-Reflection:** Omar emphasizes the transformative impact of journaling as a tool for self-discovery and personal growth. He describes his daily practice of journaling, where he reflects on his thoughts, feelings, and experiences, using a unique framework of five Fs: Thankful, Feeling, Focusing, Fearing, and Forgiveness. This practice has enabled him to gain a deeper understanding of himself, identify patterns, and make positive changes in his life.
4. **Addressing Underlying Fears and Imposter Syndrome:** Omar delves into the concept of fear and its role in imposter syndrome. He distinguishes between short-term fears and long-term fears that stem from the belief that one is not good enough. He emphasizes the importance of confronting these fears, exploring their root causes, and taking action to address them.
5. **The Significance of Communication and State Management:** Omar underscores the importance of effective communication in resolving conflicts and fostering meaningful relationships. He shares his personal experience of overcoming a stutter and stammer, which led him to develop a keen awareness of nonverbal cues and the power of language. He also introduces the concept of "state management," which involves regulating one's breathing, physiology, and focus to maintain composure and effectively navigate challenging situations.
6. **The Role of Sacrifice and Commitment in Personal Transformation:** Omar stresses the necessity of making sacrifices and demonstrating unwavering commitment to achieve significant personal growth. He recounts his own experiences of homelessness, divorce, and career changes, highlighting the sacrifices he made to become the person he is today. He emphasizes that true transformation requires a willingness to step outside one's comfort zone, embrace challenges, and persist even in the face of adversity.
7. **Addressing Knife Crime and Gang Culture:** Omar passionately addresses the issue of knife crime and gang culture, particularly among young black boys. He emphasizes the importance of state management in de-escalating tense situations and preventing violence. He calls for a focus on teaching effective communication skills and emotional regulation strategies to young people to help them express their emotions constructively and avoid resorting to violence.
# The Journey of Omar Sharif: From Gang Crime to High-Performance Living
## Introduction:
Omar Sharif, the founder of Omar Inspires and a highly sought-after speaker and consultant, shares his incredible journey of transformation from being heavily involved in gang crime to becoming a celebrated figure recognized by the British royal family. This podcast episode delves into the events that led to Omar's transformation, the struggles he faced, and the lessons he learned along the way.
## Breaking the Cycle of Violence:
Omar's upbringing was marked by the harsh realities of gang crime and violence. Witnessing the tragic deaths of three friends due to knife crime, he realized the urgent need for change. He sought to break free from this cycle of violence and embark on a path of self-improvement and personal growth.
## Redefining Masculinity:
Omar challenges the traditional notions of masculinity that often contribute to violence and aggression among young men. He emphasizes the importance of redefining what it means to "be a man," promoting emotional intelligence, vulnerability, and healthy communication as essential traits for personal growth.
## Education for Emotional Well-being:
Omar advocates for incorporating emotional education into school curriculum, recognizing the critical need for young people to learn how to manage their emotions effectively. He believes that teaching skills like breath work, state management, and conflict resolution can help prevent violence and promote healthier relationships.
## The Importance of Connection:
Omar stresses the significance of human connection and support in overcoming challenges and achieving personal growth. He encourages individuals to seek out mentors, coaches, and supportive communities to help them navigate difficult times and reach their full potential.
## Key Learnings and Insights:
- **Non-Negotiable Behaviors:** Omar emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, staying connected to a higher power, and making a conscious effort to positively impact others.
- **Weakness and Strength:** He acknowledges his past tendency to try to handle everything alone as a weakness, while recognizing his unwavering determination as his greatest strength.
- **The Hidden 1%:** Omar highlights the importance of investing in personal growth and development, dedicating time each day to nurture the body, mind, and spirit.
- **Recommended Resource:** He recommends the book "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, emphasizing the power of finding meaning and purpose in life, even in the face of adversity.
- **Golden Rule for High Performance:** Omar advises against trying to do everything alone, encouraging individuals to seek help, invest in themselves, and leverage the experience of others to accelerate their success.
## Conclusion:
Omar Sharif's journey is a testament to the transformative power of personal growth and the importance of addressing the root causes of violence and social issues. His message of hope, resilience, and the need for emotional education serves as a reminder that we can all play a role in creating a more positive and fulfilling world for ourselves and future generations.
[00:00.000 -> 00:06.440] Hi there, I'm Jay Comfrey and you're listening to High Performance, the podcast that reminds
[00:06.440 -> 00:11.740] you that it's within. Your ambition, your purpose, your story are all there, or we just
[00:11.740 -> 00:16.440] help unlock it by turning the lived experiences of the planet's highest performers into your
[00:16.440 -> 00:21.320] life lessons. So right now, allow myself and Professor Damien Hughes to speak to one of
[00:21.320 -> 00:25.000] the most interesting people we've ever had on this show.
[00:25.000 -> 00:27.000] This is what awaits you today.
[00:28.000 -> 00:30.000] We didn't wake up and choose struggle.
[00:30.000 -> 00:36.000] We didn't wake up and choose we want to be the guy on the streets at this time of the night
[00:36.000 -> 00:40.000] selling X, Y and Z or delivering or doing anything like that.
[00:40.000 -> 00:44.000] We wanted to be the guy who just felt like, hey, we're going to give you a chance.
[00:44.000 -> 00:48.800] It was a girl knocking on my door and I thought, I don't know this girl.
[00:48.800 -> 00:50.000] Let me go to the kitchen window.
[00:50.560 -> 00:52.400] From the kitchen window, I can see who's coming in.
[00:52.400 -> 00:55.680] There's like four or five guys bending down, baseball bats.
[00:55.680 -> 00:57.440] One's got a machete on him.
[00:58.320 -> 01:01.680] And I knew who called those people to come to my house.
[01:01.680 -> 01:04.240] And that's why I became, I literally got my shit together,
[01:04.240 -> 01:06.400] jumped out the back window and ran.
[01:06.400 -> 01:07.960] That broke something in me.
[01:07.960 -> 01:09.240] I'd experienced so much pain
[01:09.240 -> 01:13.000] that the idea of not being this kind of guy anymore
[01:13.000 -> 01:14.800] gave me enough hope that said,
[01:14.800 -> 01:17.760] Omar, just go, like, just get out now.
[01:17.760 -> 01:20.000] For Omar to go from an ex-gang member
[01:20.000 -> 01:22.720] who nobody gave a shit about really,
[01:22.720 -> 01:24.840] besides his family and friends,
[01:24.840 -> 01:26.160] sometimes not even them at times,
[01:26.160 -> 01:28.040] because I wasn't perfect growing up.
[01:28.040 -> 01:30.280] But now I'm sitting in a room with King Charles.
[01:30.280 -> 01:31.480] I was with King Charles alone in a room
[01:31.480 -> 01:32.320] for like half an hour,
[01:32.320 -> 01:34.120] and he told everyone else to get out.
[01:34.120 -> 01:35.080] We were just talking.
[01:35.080 -> 01:38.320] He told me, don't give us all the credit for your success.
[01:38.320 -> 01:41.200] You showed up on time, you did the hard work,
[01:41.200 -> 01:43.340] you've done this work.
[01:43.340 -> 01:45.760] So the question is, are you willing to do what it takes?
[01:45.760 -> 01:47.960] Because some people will say to me, well, I can't give that up.
[01:47.960 -> 01:50.440] Are you not ready for the change?
[01:50.440 -> 01:55.760] So you're about to hear from a guy called Omar Sharif, grew up on the streets of London,
[01:55.760 -> 01:58.400] was involved in gangs, had some serious issues.
[01:58.400 -> 01:59.960] He will talk about those on the podcast.
[01:59.960 -> 02:03.960] But the really fascinating thing is how this guy has managed to turn his life around to
[02:03.960 -> 02:09.040] spending time with King Charles, to lead other young people away from bad messaging and poor choices
[02:09.040 -> 02:13.700] in life. He's someone who's now dedicated his life to being a true leader, because true
[02:13.700 -> 02:18.080] leadership is serving others, it's not serving yourself. And Omar is someone who's now dedicating
[02:18.080 -> 02:23.400] his time to picking others up. I love the phrase, we need to stop pulling people out
[02:23.400 -> 02:25.520] the river and go upstream and find
[02:25.520 -> 02:27.200] out why they're falling in.
[02:27.200 -> 02:30.340] And that's why I'm so passionate about these kinds of conversations, because instead of
[02:30.340 -> 02:34.400] looking at young people, especially who are in a difficult place and going, let me help
[02:34.400 -> 02:37.640] you, we need to go upstream and work out how they got there in the first place.
[02:37.640 -> 02:42.560] And Omar shares in detail how he ended up in that river of negativity.
[02:42.560 -> 02:46.000] And I really hope it's helpful for you. It's helpful for the people around you,
[02:46.000 -> 02:48.440] the people you work with, the people in your life.
[02:48.440 -> 02:49.680] Let's do it.
[02:49.680 -> 02:52.040] Here's what Omar Sharif told us
[02:52.040 -> 02:53.720] on the High Performance Podcast.
[02:58.680 -> 03:00.960] As a person with a very deep voice,
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[03:30.600 -> 03:35.040] LinkedIn ads allows you to focus on getting your B2B message to the right people.
[03:35.040 -> 03:40.200] So does that mean you should use ads on LinkedIn instead of hiring me, the man with the deepest
[03:40.200 -> 03:41.600] voice in the world?
[03:41.600 -> 03:43.800] Yes, yes it does.
[03:43.800 -> 03:45.880] Get started today and see why LinkedIn is
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[05:42.480 -> 05:44.640] Omar, thank you so much for joining us.
[05:44.640 -> 05:47.600] You're welcome. Well, thanks for inviting me here. It's exciting. Thank you.
[05:47.600 -> 05:52.480] This is going to be good. Let's start with what is your definition of high performance?
[05:53.600 -> 06:00.080] My definition of high performance? Oh, I kind of separate it if you allow me to kind of. So
[06:00.080 -> 06:05.480] high for me, if I think about it, I remove ego, it's for me spiritual.
[06:05.480 -> 06:09.480] It's because everyone's search for meaning or purpose is something greater than themself.
[06:09.480 -> 06:12.080] Performance, so I used to be a dancer, right?
[06:12.080 -> 06:14.680] I actually did ballet for a couple of years.
[06:14.680 -> 06:19.960] And ballerinas, right, they're so eloquent in their way of dancing, but if you've ever
[06:19.960 -> 06:22.880] seen their feet, right, they've suffered.
[06:22.880 -> 06:26.320] I'm talking no toenails, so they've got no pedicures, you know, it's bruised, they've suffered. I'm talking no toenails, they've got no pedicures,
[06:26.320 -> 06:32.080] it's bruised, it's bleeding. So performance for me is strength. So high performance, I
[06:32.080 -> 06:39.920] would translate as spiritual strength. That inner drive to keep going. So it's having
[06:39.920 -> 06:45.600] that. Sometimes it's being able to perform when there's no music, or there's no stage, or there's no one clapping for you saying, hey, keep going. Sometimes it's been able to perform when there's no music or there's no stage or
[06:45.600 -> 06:48.720] there's no one clapping for you saying hey keep going sometimes it's just you
[06:48.720 -> 06:53.880] so you need to have that inner inner strength to keep going so that's how I
[06:53.880 -> 06:57.580] would translate our performance. I want the audience listening to this to really
[06:57.580 -> 07:02.440] understand your story so would you mind taking us back if I say to you take us
[07:02.440 -> 07:06.040] back to the moment in your life that you
[07:06.040 -> 07:10.560] go to when you think about Omar as a young guy, where does your brain take you?
[07:10.560 -> 07:17.320] Honestly it's a very scared young man about number one his future because
[07:17.320 -> 07:22.040] again growing up in London it was difficult to even just get a job or
[07:22.040 -> 07:29.120] even get someone to to not look at you as a threat or as the stereotype of a young black guy. The only thing that kept me going was really
[07:29.120 -> 07:34.800] my faith, my dance, which is a very good, it was a great outlet. So I didn't just do
[07:34.800 -> 07:39.720] ballet. When I was dancing and there was a mirror and there was music, that was something
[07:39.720 -> 07:49.280] that I could just release any of the stress, any of the gang involvement, anything from the backgrounds, when I was there there was no other worry, there was no other
[07:49.280 -> 07:55.240] adversity that would come to mind. So yeah, a scared teenager who was probably
[07:55.240 -> 08:00.800] thinking too far ahead but needed the mentorship to say actually let me give
[08:00.800 -> 08:05.200] you some direction. When we interviewed AJ Tracy on the podcast,
[08:05.200 -> 08:08.640] he spoke about how his dad had sat him down at a young age
[08:08.640 -> 08:12.080] and said, listen, as a young black man growing up in London,
[08:12.080 -> 08:14.400] you've got to accept there's a target on your back.
[08:14.400 -> 08:17.760] What the standards you're going to be experiencing
[08:17.760 -> 08:19.320] are going to be different than somebody else
[08:19.320 -> 08:22.360] from a different area.
[08:22.360 -> 08:24.680] You make reference to the gangs
[08:24.680 -> 08:28.060] that were outside of this dancing experience.
[08:28.060 -> 08:30.240] Tell us a bit about that.
[08:30.240 -> 08:33.320] I watched the AJ interview, it was great.
[08:33.320 -> 08:39.440] And just like what he said, so one thing my dad drilled into my head, he always said this,
[08:39.440 -> 08:42.000] Omar, be a gentleman.
[08:42.000 -> 08:45.680] He always said that when I was arguing with my siblings, sit down, be a gentleman.
[08:45.680 -> 08:50.240] In the beginning it was a fear, I was like I need to impress my dad, I need to be the
[08:50.240 -> 08:55.360] gentleman he wants me to be because we kind of we want to impress right, we want to be loved,
[08:55.360 -> 08:59.680] we want to feel that we're worthy. So why was that important for your dad for you to be a gentleman
[08:59.680 -> 09:05.000] do you think? His history with his father, I'm not very close to his father, none of us are,
[09:05.000 -> 09:09.440] because of their relationship. As I'm older now, I get to speak to my dad, not as he's
[09:09.440 -> 09:14.600] my father, but actually as another man. And I've actually really enjoyed that. And what
[09:14.600 -> 09:20.020] I learned, what he said to me was, the adversity he went through with his father taught him
[09:20.020 -> 09:25.200] how to be a father. Because it's basically not be that guy. So he says to me, he says
[09:25.200 -> 09:28.800] the luxuries I'm giving you, you know, and I'm not talking about monetary luxuries, it's
[09:28.800 -> 09:34.760] just even just the love, the time, the presence, he didn't have that. And so everything he
[09:34.760 -> 09:38.480] was pushing towards, because look, my dad, he used to work in restaurants, he helped
[09:38.480 -> 09:42.640] open up the first Hard Rock Cafe as a chef, he used to be a minicab driver, he's done
[09:42.640 -> 09:46.360] a lot of jobs in London, he knows the streets of London as well.
[09:46.360 -> 09:49.400] And I think he saw people around my area get stabbed,
[09:49.400 -> 09:51.240] killed, so he was hearing things.
[09:51.240 -> 09:53.480] So for him, the big message really was two things,
[09:53.480 -> 09:56.400] was follow your faith, stay with God,
[09:56.400 -> 09:57.840] and also to be a gentleman.
[09:57.840 -> 10:01.520] So situations, what would a gentleman do, really?
[10:01.520 -> 10:04.160] And that's really kind of a blueprint
[10:04.160 -> 10:06.000] that I took forward with me. I didn't always listen to it, because as a young guy, really. And that's really kind of a blueprint that I took forward with me.
[10:06.000 -> 10:07.040] I didn't always listen to it
[10:07.040 -> 10:08.880] because as a young guy, I was very reactive.
[10:08.880 -> 10:11.600] You know, on the streets, I was very just,
[10:11.600 -> 10:13.080] it's a tough world out there.
[10:13.080 -> 10:15.660] So growing up with that, it was hard for me,
[10:15.660 -> 10:18.720] but to this day, I can hear his words,
[10:18.720 -> 10:19.920] just be a gentleman.
[10:19.920 -> 10:22.920] You know, I'm still trying to, but yeah.
[10:22.920 -> 10:25.520] Let's talk then about that tough world out there.
[10:26.880 -> 10:27.280] You were a gang member, right? I was.
[10:27.920 -> 10:30.320] And at what age did that happen?
[10:30.320 -> 10:34.080] And would you mind sharing the story of how that came to be?
[10:34.080 -> 10:36.160] Because many, many people listening to this podcast
[10:36.800 -> 10:39.920] will not have grown up in the parts of London that you did.
[10:39.920 -> 10:46.080] So it's hard for them to understand how young people like you fall into gang life.
[10:46.080 -> 10:52.560] Sure. I think it's harder to understand because where I grew up actually isn't a bad area.
[10:52.560 -> 10:56.400] So Marlborough, for example, people will say, yeah, central London, it's fine. You know,
[10:56.400 -> 11:00.400] you've got mansions and actually, no, there's a council flat area where you probably don't
[11:00.400 -> 11:07.200] look at or walk down. But it was really difficult to, for example, if I just walked out the flats I grew up in,
[11:07.200 -> 11:09.960] you've got these mansions almost directly opposite.
[11:09.960 -> 11:12.200] So when I'm walking to school, to my public school,
[11:12.200 -> 11:15.600] I'm looking at private school kids getting into private cars,
[11:15.600 -> 11:17.360] going to their private schools.
[11:17.360 -> 11:19.640] And growing up, there was always a thing of,
[11:19.640 -> 11:22.320] why am I not good enough to have that?
[11:22.320 -> 11:24.040] I'd ask my dad, Baba, like, why,
[11:24.040 -> 11:28.440] how come they get to wear like a blazer? So I had all these questions growing up, but my parents have
[11:28.440 -> 11:33.320] lived where they are for more than 30 years. And I've grown up, I grew up there and it's
[11:33.320 -> 11:39.840] so difficult to live somewhere and not feel part of that society, part of that community
[11:39.840 -> 11:46.260] to the point where why am I getting arrested on my own doorstep? You know my family, you know what I'm about.
[11:46.260 -> 11:48.440] Why am I being stopped and searched?
[11:48.440 -> 11:53.200] So it's painful because there is this whole stereotype,
[11:53.200 -> 11:55.720] you know, a young guy, let's not put color involved,
[11:55.720 -> 11:57.020] but there is a lot of color, you know,
[11:57.020 -> 11:59.720] stereotypes around the young black or Asian guy or whatever.
[11:59.720 -> 12:01.240] And people never know where I'm from,
[12:01.240 -> 12:02.240] because I'm mixed race,
[12:02.240 -> 12:04.240] but I've got kind of different kind of hair.
[12:04.240 -> 12:06.320] So they're like, well, he's something, right?
[12:06.320 -> 12:07.680] Let's just stop him anyways.
[12:07.680 -> 12:09.880] I'm laughing, but this is the sad truth.
[12:09.880 -> 12:11.440] Someone who listens to me would not say
[12:11.440 -> 12:12.560] he sounds like a gang member.
[12:12.560 -> 12:13.760] He sounds quite posh.
[12:13.760 -> 12:14.600] I'm not posh.
[12:14.600 -> 12:17.520] It's my dad really hated when I used to talk with slang.
[12:17.520 -> 12:19.120] So this is all part of being a gentleman
[12:19.120 -> 12:21.200] is how you present yourself.
[12:21.200 -> 12:23.120] But when I would go to central London
[12:23.120 -> 12:24.960] and I would physically hand out my CVs
[12:24.960 -> 12:25.780] and I would borrow to central London and I would physically hand out my CVs and I would
[12:25.780 -> 12:32.060] borrow my dad's shirts and my brother's school shoes to look smart and nobody gave me a chance.
[12:32.060 -> 12:33.060] Why?
[12:33.060 -> 12:35.920] You know, it's their loss because I'm a natural salesman.
[12:35.920 -> 12:40.980] I know my skill sets from how I grew up and when I was around but after handing out 50
[12:40.980 -> 12:44.840] physical CVs and sometimes to the managers directly and then saying, well actually no,
[12:44.840 -> 12:46.240] we're not looking for anyone.
[12:46.240 -> 12:47.060] But I know they are,
[12:47.060 -> 12:48.060] because they have a sign outside,
[12:48.060 -> 12:49.320] or I've seen it online,
[12:49.320 -> 12:50.640] or the job center sent me there
[12:50.640 -> 12:52.800] to go and have a word with them.
[12:52.800 -> 12:54.600] I just felt like,
[12:54.600 -> 12:56.280] hey, something's going wrong right now,
[12:56.280 -> 12:58.680] because what I heard from school was,
[12:58.680 -> 13:01.680] Omar, you study well, you go get a job.
[13:01.680 -> 13:04.960] And right now, no one's bridging that gap.
[13:04.960 -> 13:05.880] The people who bridged the gap
[13:05.880 -> 13:08.440] were people who did look like me,
[13:08.440 -> 13:11.640] who had some opportunities for me to get involved,
[13:11.640 -> 13:14.600] feel protected, have a belonging, have a family,
[13:14.600 -> 13:16.760] to be amongst peers who don't look at you and think,
[13:16.760 -> 13:18.920] well, you're a threat, actually, you're one of us.
[13:18.920 -> 13:20.200] I'm very blessed to have my family,
[13:20.200 -> 13:22.120] like to have my parents present,
[13:22.120 -> 13:23.800] but I had friends who didn't have that.
[13:23.800 -> 13:25.200] So the importance of a belonging
[13:25.200 -> 13:27.400] was even more important to them.
[13:27.400 -> 13:30.240] We didn't wake up and choose struggle.
[13:30.240 -> 13:32.020] We didn't wake up and choose,
[13:32.020 -> 13:34.160] we wanna be the guy on the streets
[13:34.160 -> 13:35.640] at this time of the night,
[13:35.640 -> 13:37.840] selling X, Y, and Z, or delivering,
[13:37.840 -> 13:39.440] or doing anything like that.
[13:39.440 -> 13:41.280] We wanted to be the guy who just felt like,
[13:41.280 -> 13:43.360] hey, we're gonna give you a chance.
[13:43.360 -> 13:47.200] And even not give it a chance, it's just welcome. No, there's no, don't-
[13:47.200 -> 13:53.560] Did you feel unwelcome and feel you weren't given a chance and feel that, you know, are
[13:53.560 -> 13:59.600] you saying that you felt you were pushed down the road of, of a gang life?
[13:59.600 -> 14:04.680] Yeah. Because when I didn't get those jobs, what did I do? All right. I, I didn't go straight
[14:04.680 -> 14:05.320] into a gang. I did, the gang came around, what did I do? All right, I didn't go straight into a gang.
[14:05.320 -> 14:07.040] I did, the gang came around,
[14:07.040 -> 14:09.180] it came about because of post-code wars,
[14:09.180 -> 14:12.440] where it was very unsafe to walk down a street by yourself
[14:12.440 -> 14:13.900] because you get caught slipping.
[14:13.900 -> 14:16.080] And if they know you're slipping,
[14:16.080 -> 14:19.660] slipping, where I grew up, let's say it's NW1, NW5.
[14:19.660 -> 14:24.040] If I'm in NW8, I'm slipping because that's not my area.
[14:24.040 -> 14:25.960] Why am I there? I've been beaten up
[14:25.960 -> 14:29.480] I've been robbed for my shoes, robbed for my bike, I've had to run for my life a
[14:29.480 -> 14:32.640] couple of times because I thought if I stay and fight something's gonna happen
[14:32.640 -> 14:38.960] and there was this period when I think between being 15 and 17 years old this
[14:38.960 -> 14:42.360] is where you heard you really started hearing about knife crime. Knife crime was
[14:42.360 -> 14:48.320] around has been around for ages right But there was this one year where we knew
[14:48.320 -> 14:50.760] if we went into a fight, it's not just a black eye anymore.
[14:50.760 -> 14:51.600] It's not a broken rib.
[14:51.600 -> 14:53.920] It's not a broken knuckle.
[14:53.920 -> 14:54.960] It's you're getting stabbed.
[14:54.960 -> 14:56.360] And it happened in my school.
[14:56.360 -> 14:57.920] We had school versus school fights.
[14:57.920 -> 15:00.400] I'd seen my own friends fight with knives in their back
[15:00.400 -> 15:02.040] and they had no idea.
[15:02.040 -> 15:04.480] Still alive, you know, some of them, but people have died.
[15:04.480 -> 15:06.460] At least six people from that school have died
[15:06.460 -> 15:08.960] in the last maybe five years.
[15:08.960 -> 15:13.540] And school was supposed to be a safe place,
[15:13.540 -> 15:15.120] but it didn't become that anymore.
[15:15.120 -> 15:17.440] And I was scared, although as young men,
[15:17.440 -> 15:19.640] we were all these macho guys in gangs and, you know,
[15:19.640 -> 15:21.140] cause we're in numbers.
[15:21.140 -> 15:23.000] But when I was by myself, I thought,
[15:23.000 -> 15:26.400] actually I'm scared, you know, I'm not stupid.
[15:26.400 -> 15:31.600] I am a little bit streetwise, so I know my limits, but that's really why, so besides doing
[15:31.600 -> 15:36.400] that activity, I used to work in markets. So Wembley market used to be on a Sunday,
[15:36.400 -> 15:41.280] Brixton market, Church Street market for a while, Dalston market, sometimes just helping out on
[15:41.280 -> 15:46.340] different stalls, helping people move, because I wanted to earn, I wanted to find a way to replace that income.
[15:46.340 -> 15:50.180] I wanted to find a way to feel like I have value to offer.
[15:50.180 -> 15:52.220] Did you ever in this gang life,
[15:54.080 -> 15:55.980] did the peer pressure ever take you down a road
[15:55.980 -> 15:56.820] where you did something
[15:56.820 -> 15:59.580] and it's only afterwards that you stopped and thought,
[15:59.580 -> 16:02.300] man, why did I do that?
[16:02.300 -> 16:03.380] I can share a story if you want.
[16:03.380 -> 16:05.140] So being the entrepreneur that I am
[16:05.140 -> 16:10.940] I was one stage selling true religion jeans. All right, I knew an outlet then there was a bit of stitching going wrong
[16:10.940 -> 16:13.740] But they're still real. I would get them and I would sell them
[16:14.340 -> 16:19.220] and I'd walk around with these things and black bin bags and whatnot and I was in Tottenham at the time and
[16:20.280 -> 16:24.020] One guy was like, hey, look, I want to see these, you know, let me get my friends together
[16:24.020 -> 16:25.400] I knew they had money.
[16:25.400 -> 16:26.520] I knew what they were doing.
[16:26.520 -> 16:27.080] I didn't care.
[16:27.080 -> 16:28.520] I was like, if you want to buy it, buy it.
[16:29.000 -> 16:31.200] Anyways, I get jumped or I'm getting rushed.
[16:31.200 -> 16:32.600] And these guys take my stuff.
[16:32.600 -> 16:36.400] I think I had some other things on me, like some watches here and there, whatever it was, handbags.
[16:37.400 -> 16:40.080] I chased them and they went to this block of flats.
[16:40.200 -> 16:44.000] And when I arrived, the door shut, but the number was kind of still bleeping.
[16:44.000 -> 16:47.000] So I saw what number they entered, that they went to.
[16:47.000 -> 16:52.000] Anyways, I made a couple of calls and then within five minutes there was a group of us outside.
[16:52.000 -> 16:54.000] These are all people older than me.
[16:54.000 -> 16:57.000] Anyways, these guys went in there and we broke into the flat.
[16:57.000 -> 17:00.000] I wouldn't say we were they, but I was there.
[17:00.000 -> 17:02.000] And what I saw scared the shit out of me.
[17:02.000 -> 17:04.000] I'm talking baseball bats to heads.
[17:04.000 -> 17:05.680] Everything was taken. I got my stuff back. They took their TVs, they took anything that was in the shit out of me. I'm talking baseball bats to heads. Everything was taken.
[17:05.680 -> 17:06.500] I got my stuff back.
[17:06.500 -> 17:07.340] They took their TVs.
[17:07.340 -> 17:10.640] They took anything that was in the flat, got taken.
[17:10.640 -> 17:13.720] The guy who robbed me was stripped naked,
[17:13.720 -> 17:15.240] asked to kneel down.
[17:15.240 -> 17:17.360] I had a knife put in my hand and said,
[17:17.360 -> 17:19.400] I need to stab him now to send a message.
[17:20.640 -> 17:25.000] And I froze because I thought all I wanted was my stuff.
[17:26.640 -> 17:29.920] Like, I don't need, I don't want to take a marker waver,
[17:29.920 -> 17:31.020] and I don't want that.
[17:31.960 -> 17:33.600] And the guy said, no, we didn't come out here
[17:33.600 -> 17:35.800] showing our faces to not send a message.
[17:35.800 -> 17:37.340] Send a fucking message.
[17:38.800 -> 17:41.440] And I looked at the guy, and he's pissing himself,
[17:41.440 -> 17:43.480] and X, Y, and Z, and I thought,
[17:43.480 -> 17:45.600] I don't want anything to do with this life.
[17:45.600 -> 17:46.600] I couldn't do it.
[17:46.600 -> 17:47.600] So anyway, I dropped it.
[17:47.600 -> 17:52.280] I got called a pussy x y z and I sat down for a few nights, more than a few nights,
[17:52.280 -> 17:56.480] weeks thinking, am I weak that I couldn't do that?
[17:56.480 -> 18:00.640] Because this is the framework you have to have.
[18:00.640 -> 18:01.680] You have to be a man.
[18:01.680 -> 18:02.680] You have to be strong.
[18:02.680 -> 18:03.680] You can't show weakness.
[18:03.680 -> 18:08.640] And I thought, well, what's wrong with me that I feel that it's bad to do that? Because that's
[18:08.640 -> 18:12.780] someone else's son. Yes, he robbed my stuff, but he's probably broke. So he saw
[18:12.780 -> 18:15.800] an opportunity, he saw a young guy with kind of curly hair, thought I can take
[18:15.800 -> 18:19.720] the piss out of him. He'd learned his lesson now, but is it my permission to
[18:19.720 -> 18:24.840] end his life or damage his? I didn't want to. So that was one situation that
[18:24.840 -> 18:26.960] happened where I thought, maybe I'm too soft for that lifestyle his, I didn't want to. So that was one situation that happened where I thought,
[18:26.960 -> 18:28.320] maybe I'm too soft for that lifestyle.
[18:28.320 -> 18:29.840] Maybe I don't belong there.
[18:29.840 -> 18:32.080] And that really pushed me to say, okay,
[18:32.080 -> 18:34.920] you can't get a job, but definitely do something
[18:34.920 -> 18:36.000] so you can get out.
[18:36.000 -> 18:37.080] I just wanted a job.
[18:37.080 -> 18:37.920] If someone said, Omar,
[18:37.920 -> 18:40.640] come and just stack the shelves somewhere,
[18:40.640 -> 18:42.000] no one gave me an opportunity.
[18:42.000 -> 18:45.000] I would have flourished doing something like that.
[18:45.000 -> 18:47.040] But instead I had to try to make ends meet.
[18:47.040 -> 18:51.120] And unfortunately for many young people, guys and girls,
[18:51.120 -> 18:51.960] that's what they're forced to do.
[18:51.960 -> 18:52.800] Why?
[18:52.800 -> 18:53.800] Because these people out there
[18:53.800 -> 18:55.280] don't want to give them a chance.
[18:55.280 -> 18:57.440] It sounds to me like there was a conflict going on
[18:57.440 -> 19:02.120] in your world between being a man and being a gentleman.
[19:02.120 -> 19:06.880] How did you eventually come to resolve that and choose to take the
[19:06.880 -> 19:12.320] gentleman route rather than what the streets would have regarded as being a real man?
[19:12.320 -> 19:18.440] Essentially, I had to ask myself, what do I think a man is? So yeah, I modeled people
[19:18.440 -> 19:24.080] like my father, modeled people who I'd consider as like online gurus or people at the time.
[19:24.080 -> 19:26.480] And I had other male figures around me who were,
[19:26.480 -> 19:28.960] growing up, they were like my role models.
[19:28.960 -> 19:31.160] You know, I'm talking, they always had the money, you know,
[19:31.160 -> 19:34.280] they were great fighters and very macho.
[19:34.280 -> 19:36.680] But I found that, why can't I show them that I can cry?
[19:36.680 -> 19:38.680] Because I did cry a lot of the times.
[19:38.680 -> 19:40.520] I felt bad for things that I did.
[19:40.520 -> 19:42.840] And to answer your question directly is,
[19:42.840 -> 19:47.040] I had to kind of reevaluate and create my own
[19:47.040 -> 19:49.720] blueprint as what it meant to be a man.
[19:49.720 -> 19:54.040] If you put on the news, you open a newspaper, you saw a young guy with a black face or brown
[19:54.040 -> 19:55.880] face, it's two things.
[19:55.880 -> 19:59.000] He's either been stabbed or stabbed someone else or gone to prison.
[19:59.000 -> 20:04.840] At 18 years old, I said, I want to be in the newspapers, on the news as a young brown black
[20:04.840 -> 20:10.120] guy for doing something good. So I found a why. So I think it was Nietzsche
[20:10.120 -> 20:15.360] who says a man who has a why to live can bear almost any out. That was my why. It
[20:15.360 -> 20:19.280] was a drive. I can sense the frustration that you had at this point in your life
[20:19.280 -> 20:23.360] where you would desperately, I kind of have this image of you swimming in a
[20:23.360 -> 20:25.840] fast-flowing river like everyone's going one direction
[20:25.840 -> 20:29.040] and you're doing your best to try and swim the opposite way.
[20:29.040 -> 20:30.240] But inevitably, you know,
[20:30.240 -> 20:33.160] you get overpowered by the current and off you go.
[20:33.160 -> 20:34.560] So all these years later,
[20:35.440 -> 20:38.720] what would you say to young people listening to this?
[20:38.720 -> 20:40.520] It doesn't have to be a gang crime
[20:40.520 -> 20:43.160] or even an illegal activity conversation.
[20:43.160 -> 20:50.560] Just to all young people about when it comes to peer pressure, I heard you say that it's a powerful thing and it overruled your conscience.
[20:50.560 -> 20:55.720] You've lost three friends to knife crime. You've watched others get time in prison.
[20:55.720 -> 21:01.400] But it was those things had to happen before you changed. So what do you know now about
[21:01.400 -> 21:03.800] dealing with what is an incredibly powerful thing, peer pressure?
[21:03.800 -> 21:09.040] I think it's the first part of that. It's who is your peers? Are they there for you?
[21:09.040 -> 21:13.280] Because I've seen it, when people who I was supposed to be there for got in trouble or
[21:13.280 -> 21:16.960] stabbed, we didn't go to hospital for them, no one came to check on us. So it's really
[21:16.960 -> 21:22.440] deciding who your peers are. At a young age, especially now with social media, everything
[21:22.440 -> 21:25.840] is about dopamine, the chasing this hit, chasing this
[21:26.400 -> 21:28.800] adrenaline rush of where's next high coming from.
[21:29.360 -> 21:36.240] Those decisions can cause consequences that you cannot control later on in your life. Criminal records, going to prison.
[21:36.240 -> 21:38.480] I'm so grateful I don't have any of those things.
[21:38.480 -> 21:43.320] I probably wouldn't be able to have opportunities I have now if I had those things. When I left,
[21:43.320 -> 21:49.520] I physically left the area first and then I left the city to get away from this. And people say, yeah,
[21:49.520 -> 21:52.800] well, I can't just get up and leave. I said, yes, you can. I did it. I was homeless for
[21:52.800 -> 21:57.600] seven months, right? I got rid of, back then we had like MySpace and stuff. I got all that,
[21:57.600 -> 22:02.720] I snapped my SIM card, done. I made a decision, which means to cut off from. So it's-
[22:02.720 -> 22:09.600] So what made, what happened when you just suddenly had that epiphany and you were like done? There's one thing I don't
[22:09.600 -> 22:16.480] want to mention who but it hurt me to someone who I still love that person
[22:16.480 -> 22:23.000] called people to I don't know if I was gonna die but from what I saw from the
[22:23.000 -> 22:26.360] outside it was a girl knocking my door.
[22:26.360 -> 22:28.400] And I thought, I don't know this girl.
[22:28.400 -> 22:30.040] Let me go to the kitchen window.
[22:30.040 -> 22:31.920] So from the kitchen window, I can see who's coming in.
[22:31.920 -> 22:35.240] There's like four or five guys bending down, baseball bats.
[22:35.240 -> 22:37.080] One's got a machete on him.
[22:37.920 -> 22:41.240] And I knew who called those people to come to my house.
[22:41.240 -> 22:43.720] And that's why I became, I literally got my shit together,
[22:43.720 -> 22:45.520] jumped out the back window and ran.
[22:47.200 -> 22:48.720] That broke something in me.
[22:48.720 -> 22:50.040] I'd experienced so much pain
[22:50.040 -> 22:53.760] that the idea of not being this kind of guy anymore
[22:53.760 -> 22:56.520] gave me enough hope that said,
[22:56.520 -> 22:59.160] Omar, just go, like just get out now.
[22:59.160 -> 23:00.680] So although it was tough,
[23:01.520 -> 23:04.280] I was homeless, but I was living in like a shop,
[23:04.280 -> 23:06.640] which is part of a mosque. Nobody knew I was there except for the caretaker. And it was tough. I was homeless but I was living in a shop which was part of a mosque. Nobody
[23:06.640 -> 23:11.320] knew I was there except for the caretaker. It was rough. I put on a bunch of weight.
[23:11.320 -> 23:16.040] I was eating. I had no money anymore. I had no source of income. So I used to buy Jamaican
[23:16.040 -> 23:20.480] hard-boiled bread. I used to get some chips. Anything that was carb-y and fattening and
[23:20.480 -> 23:29.080] cheap, that's what I had. And it was a rough time. I'm 18 years old, but I'm still a kid, really. I didn't know what I was doing. But yeah, that could have all
[23:29.080 -> 23:33.520] been avoided if one person just said, hey, let's give him a chance.
[23:33.520 -> 23:38.360] And you've clearly lived the most amazing life. You've seen the most incredible things
[23:38.360 -> 23:40.360] and the lovely things.
[23:40.360 -> 23:41.360] I have, haven't I?
[23:41.360 -> 23:45.080] Yeah, of course you have, Matt. But the nice thing is you've wanted to then give back.
[23:45.080 -> 23:48.740] So can you explain to us where the drive and the energy came from for setting up your company
[23:48.740 -> 23:51.960] that worked in schools with people? Because I know this is, this then leads us onto another
[23:51.960 -> 23:55.600] conversation about Pride of Britain and a few other things.
[23:55.600 -> 24:01.080] Uh, right. So I didn't believe in my own story. That's how I want to start this part. So I
[24:01.080 -> 24:07.200] didn't think me getting out of a gang, seeing what I'd seen was something special. But these schools were saying, well listen, we're
[24:07.200 -> 24:11.160] struggling and I'm talking to schools in London and Birmingham, Brixton, everywhere
[24:11.160 -> 24:14.320] and they're like, yeah we want to get you in. And then someone said, look we can
[24:14.320 -> 24:17.880] give you a hundred pound for an hour. I was like, oh shit, okay cool. So yeah I
[24:17.880 -> 24:22.540] started doing these talks in schools, then I had colleges reach out and I was
[24:22.540 -> 24:29.320] like, okay it's progressing. And then someone was like, yeah, well, you can go into like maybe a keynote or conference.
[24:29.320 -> 24:32.000] I was like, I'm not good enough.
[24:32.000 -> 24:34.160] I said to myself, I'm not good enough for that.
[24:34.760 -> 24:35.760] And the guy was like, why not?
[24:35.760 -> 24:39.320] I was like, well, who's going to pay me money to go?
[24:39.320 -> 24:40.080] He's like, people would.
[24:40.600 -> 24:47.480] So anyways, I kept doing the communication, you know, kept speaking on stages and I found
[24:47.480 -> 24:52.640] a passion, not just for helping those young people or became adults now, I just felt,
[24:52.640 -> 24:53.800] hey, I like this.
[24:53.800 -> 24:58.780] It was the first time where I felt someone's really listening to me and they see me.
[24:58.780 -> 25:01.000] Because when I grew up with that, I didn't feel seen.
[25:01.000 -> 25:02.720] I didn't feel understood.
[25:02.720 -> 25:06.400] And now I have an audience who are now taking notes,
[25:06.400 -> 25:07.640] things I'm saying.
[25:07.640 -> 25:10.520] Anyways, it progressed from schools, colleges,
[25:10.520 -> 25:12.960] I think about five HMP prisons,
[25:12.960 -> 25:15.920] and I'm asked to do radio interviews,
[25:15.920 -> 25:19.000] and then Pride of Britain, Royal Family.
[25:19.000 -> 25:20.560] Well, let's talk then about
[25:20.560 -> 25:22.620] the winning of Pride of Britain award.
[25:22.620 -> 25:24.740] Now, most people would look at that and go,
[25:24.740 -> 25:25.880] you started on the streets,
[25:25.880 -> 25:27.720] you've ended up having to sort of effectively
[25:27.720 -> 25:31.080] go into hiding, life's been really tough,
[25:31.080 -> 25:32.960] and now you've won a Pride of Britain award.
[25:32.960 -> 25:35.880] That must be the moment where you feel seen
[25:35.880 -> 25:38.120] and validated for the first time, right?
[25:38.120 -> 25:39.860] The truth is very different now.
[25:39.860 -> 25:42.080] Your feeling and your emotions after winning that.
[25:42.080 -> 25:43.720] Could you talk to us about that?
[25:43.720 -> 25:49.080] That was such a hard part of my life. I was going through some personal things and at
[25:49.080 -> 25:53.480] the same time I'm also growing as an individual. So when I started out speaking I was charging
[25:53.480 -> 25:57.440] like a thousand pound an hour, right? And that's sometimes a month's wage, you know,
[25:57.440 -> 26:01.160] what I had to work through in the past. So I'm getting to the point now where I'm becoming
[26:01.160 -> 26:07.480] this kind of small public figure and you know I'm getting some interviews and stuff but at the same time as that trajectory is going
[26:07.480 -> 26:12.480] that way, my personal life is kind of going through this mess. So Pride of
[26:12.480 -> 26:16.760] Britain was amazing right, I'm being called to sit next to who is Kings
[26:16.760 -> 26:21.760] Charles now in private and I'm meeting a you know celebrities, people I see on TV
[26:21.760 -> 26:28.400] all the time, so I'm thinking oh shit I've made it. So I'm meeting all these people and I can see my parents in the audience
[26:29.280 -> 26:34.320] and they're super proud of me and everyone's clapping I'm like you guys get to go home to
[26:34.320 -> 26:39.760] probably your mansions this one this and that I'm going home and I want to cry to sleep I'm
[26:39.760 -> 26:44.320] currently feeling really stressed out really exhausted and this is where also this high
[26:44.320 -> 26:45.720] performance thing comes in.
[26:45.720 -> 26:46.960] It's quite important.
[26:46.960 -> 26:49.600] I used to look at high performance as a destination.
[26:50.600 -> 26:52.700] And that for me was a high performance moment.
[26:52.700 -> 26:54.040] I had won a Pride of Britain Award,
[26:54.040 -> 26:56.480] national recognition, X, Y, and Z.
[26:56.480 -> 26:58.240] What happened afterwards was this.
[26:58.240 -> 27:00.840] I have now won, I'm in a room full of A-listers
[27:00.840 -> 27:03.880] and all that kind of stuff, and then tomorrow I'm alone.
[27:03.880 -> 27:11.800] I'm going through my personal problems. I'm going through a dark time and there's no more clapping. There's
[27:11.800 -> 27:16.320] just Omar in the background doing his thing. So it did mean a lot to win the Pride of Britain
[27:16.320 -> 27:21.320] award. I did feel very recognised. To see my parents happy was great. But if I look
[27:21.320 -> 27:28.360] back now, it would translate again into the imposter syndrome. Because number one, they asked me to give a talk and I gave a little speech to the audience.
[27:28.360 -> 27:32.080] I'm talking to all these people. At the time, I felt I didn't deserve to do that.
[27:32.200 -> 27:36.880] You know, but I will say my life changed when I stopped looking up to people and I started looking into people.
[27:37.040 -> 27:43.160] Because we're all humans. All these titles before our name, after our name, all these awards, they mean something.
[27:43.160 -> 27:47.600] But let's be human first. That's how I think. Anyway, let's communicate.
[27:47.600 -> 27:50.100] You were basing your happiness on an outcome.
[27:50.100 -> 27:50.700] I was, yeah.
[27:50.700 -> 27:55.100] You achieved the outcome and realized that nothing had changed.
[27:55.100 -> 28:00.400] And I hope that you now realize that this is it, like, life is the journey.
[28:00.400 -> 28:02.900] Life isn't reaching that moment, getting to that destination.
[28:02.900 -> 28:08.400] The amount of people that we talk about on this podcast delay their happiness because they think when they get
[28:08.400 -> 28:12.880] that thing or win that award or get that house or, you know, by the way, you're looking at all
[28:12.880 -> 28:16.400] the people with the mansions and the cars and the nice watches that are leaving there thinking,
[28:16.400 -> 28:20.560] oh, that's where you're going. They're also no happier. Yeah. I never knew that until I
[28:20.560 -> 28:26.000] started working with someone else. Because they've got the things that you're longing for,
[28:26.000 -> 28:27.600] but they realise that they bring no happiness
[28:27.600 -> 28:30.600] because your brain naturally wants the next thing.
[28:30.600 -> 28:32.200] So if it's one Prada Britain award and you win it,
[28:32.200 -> 28:33.200] you then want two.
[28:33.200 -> 28:34.000] Absolutely.
[28:34.000 -> 28:35.000] If it's one Premier League title and you win it,
[28:35.000 -> 28:36.000] you want two.
[28:36.000 -> 28:37.400] If it's one million pounds and you earn it,
[28:37.400 -> 28:39.600] you want two million.
[28:39.600 -> 28:40.800] It's a really important lesson
[28:40.800 -> 28:42.200] and a really important one for you to share.
[28:42.200 -> 28:42.600] Yeah.
[28:42.600 -> 28:45.800] What I've learned is what they call the science of achievement versus the art
[28:45.800 -> 28:46.800] of fulfillment.
[28:46.800 -> 28:50.440] It's, you can achieve as much as you want, but it's just like a drug addict going for
[28:50.440 -> 28:51.440] his next high.
[28:51.440 -> 28:52.640] It's where can I get the next hit?
[28:52.640 -> 28:56.680] When you can find fulfillment, and I learned this when I went to Kenya, I went to a place
[28:56.680 -> 29:01.520] called Pomoani and Kibera slums.
[29:01.520 -> 29:06.800] And I was watching these kids play with old tires and they were so happy. And
[29:06.800 -> 29:11.960] I thought we as these Westerners will come in and try and donate money to make them happy.
[29:11.960 -> 29:18.600] They have happiness because they value every single day what they have. And I'm like, don't
[29:18.600 -> 29:23.560] have shoes. I have maybe 20, 30 pairs of shoes. I don't need that. I thought I did, but they
[29:23.560 -> 29:27.240] are just running on bare feet. And I thought, I need to learn from them.
[29:27.240 -> 29:31.800] How can I be like you and still battle the dance
[29:31.800 -> 29:35.240] of pain, pleasure, and trying to make it in the world?
[29:35.240 -> 29:39.000] It's so, again, if I had someone to prepare me and say,
[29:39.000 -> 29:40.280] you're going to win the Pride of Britain Award,
[29:40.280 -> 29:41.680] you probably feel like this afterwards
[29:41.680 -> 29:43.560] because there's so many lights and you'll be on,
[29:43.560 -> 29:48.680] I've been on every single news channel, every single newspaper, X, Y and Z and I felt it
[29:48.680 -> 29:49.680] was great.
[29:49.680 -> 29:52.360] But again, then I felt like a responsibility comes with that.
[29:52.360 -> 29:56.320] And then I've got, I've been called even a snake for, you know, talking about gangs and
[29:56.320 -> 29:57.320] this and that.
[29:57.320 -> 29:58.320] I'm like, I'm not a snake.
[29:58.320 -> 29:59.320] It's, that's my journey.
[29:59.320 -> 30:02.360] I have two kids now who I want to help keep alive.
[30:02.360 -> 30:04.680] I want to bury, I want them to bury me.
[30:04.680 -> 30:05.920] I don't want to bury my child.
[30:05.920 -> 30:07.800] I see too much of that nowadays.
[30:07.800 -> 30:10.000] So I'm going to do what I need to do
[30:10.000 -> 30:11.560] to add value to those streets
[30:11.560 -> 30:14.080] so other people's kids can actually thrive
[30:14.080 -> 30:15.600] and survive as well.
[30:15.600 -> 30:16.520] And it starts with the adults.
[30:16.520 -> 30:19.260] It's not just the kids, we're responsible.
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[32:02.800 -> 32:09.440] I'm especially intrigued by that really beautiful line you'd uttered before Omar around,
[32:09.440 -> 32:10.440] you felt seen.
[32:10.440 -> 32:13.640] You know, when you first walked in the school assemblies, they saw me.
[32:13.640 -> 32:17.040] When you walked in the prisons, they saw you.
[32:17.040 -> 32:21.280] When you walked on the stage at Pride of Britain, they saw you and they heard you.
[32:21.280 -> 32:23.180] What did they see?
[32:23.180 -> 32:26.000] They saw the young guy who was screaming for help all those years ago,
[32:26.000 -> 32:28.000] but was too much of a pussy to show it,
[32:28.000 -> 32:30.000] because I couldn't be man enough to be vulnerable.
[32:30.000 -> 32:34.000] They saw the guy who was, who wanted the, not attention,
[32:34.000 -> 32:36.000] so it's not significance I wanted.
[32:36.000 -> 32:38.000] I just wanted to be understood,
[32:38.000 -> 32:41.000] but maybe to feel that I had something of value to offer,
[32:41.000 -> 32:45.800] to feel worthy, because this whole thing about the story I kept, right?
[32:45.800 -> 32:48.560] And so my blueprint was I don't have any qualification
[32:48.560 -> 32:51.140] to show me, and that's so important nowadays, apparently.
[32:51.140 -> 32:53.880] So I always, like I said, I had to prove my competency.
[32:53.880 -> 32:56.440] But now I'm being clapped for, you know,
[32:56.440 -> 32:58.560] fists in the air, all that kind of stuff.
[32:58.560 -> 33:01.240] And they're not looking that I'm lacking a qualification,
[33:01.240 -> 33:03.640] they're looking at this guy's changed his life
[33:03.640 -> 33:08.040] and he's changed other people's lives. We're going to celebrate him. And that was it.
[33:08.040 -> 33:12.120] That's what I felt that they saw. They didn't scam me looking for
[33:12.120 -> 33:15.320] is he good enough? It was like, we love this guy.
[33:15.320 -> 33:20.960] We said that lovely line, didn't we? That most of our problems in life come from worrying about who we're not
[33:20.960 -> 33:30.400] rather than focusing on who we are. So what I'm intrigued about is that they're seeing you as you want to be seen and how
[33:30.400 -> 33:32.280] you really are.
[33:32.280 -> 33:37.400] So I'm intrigued as to why you struggled on the back of that Pride of Britain thing, because
[33:37.400 -> 33:38.920] you've achieved everything you've wanted.
[33:38.920 -> 33:45.240] You've received a validation, you're being recognized for everything that you're bringing.
[33:45.240 -> 33:48.000] Why was that not enough for you?
[33:48.000 -> 33:53.560] One of the very, very important aspect of that was, for example, financial success.
[33:53.560 -> 33:56.180] At the time, finances were a big issue for me.
[33:56.180 -> 33:59.640] It was really important because I grew up in a council flat, okay?
[33:59.640 -> 34:02.640] Most of my friends, we all did, we were used to it.
[34:02.640 -> 34:05.240] I really wanted to taste the other side of life.
[34:05.240 -> 34:07.920] I'm probably chasing a destination or this thing here, right?
[34:07.920 -> 34:09.800] But it's, I can do it.
[34:09.800 -> 34:13.000] So it's kind of this pressure I put on myself to say,
[34:13.000 -> 34:14.640] I don't only have to live in council flats.
[34:14.640 -> 34:19.640] I am not gonna limit myself to the societal exclusion
[34:20.040 -> 34:22.400] that I experienced growing up to say that I have to live
[34:22.400 -> 34:24.800] in these small pockets where everyone's struggling.
[34:24.800 -> 34:28.240] It's, no, I wanna live by the river Thames. I want to be able
[34:28.240 -> 34:34.880] to do these things. So the real crash after the Pride of Britain award for me was finances,
[34:34.880 -> 34:40.000] but also dealing with that. The imposter syndrome I mentioned before was, they all looked at
[34:40.000 -> 34:46.240] me as this kind of hero. And I thought to myself, well, I'm not, because there's still other people on the streets
[34:46.240 -> 34:47.640] going through what I'm going through.
[34:47.640 -> 34:48.880] I haven't helped them.
[34:48.880 -> 34:51.020] Did you seek help then after The Pride of Britain?
[34:51.020 -> 34:52.400] Not necessarily, I would say no.
[34:52.400 -> 34:54.400] I mean, I had a couple of mentors in my life
[34:54.400 -> 34:55.240] who I'd speak to things about.
[34:55.240 -> 34:57.180] But no therapy, no counselling?
[34:57.180 -> 34:58.020] No, no.
[34:58.020 -> 34:59.640] Have you ever done that?
[34:59.640 -> 35:02.300] I haven't gone to a therapist, I haven't gone to a counsellor.
[35:02.300 -> 35:05.600] What I did was I put myself into more debt
[35:05.600 -> 35:08.800] to go and learn from people who deal with these things.
[35:08.800 -> 35:13.120] So getting coaches, flying out to do experiences
[35:13.120 -> 35:16.660] of breath work and all these other techniques.
[35:16.660 -> 35:19.680] This word depression, all of a sudden came about in my life.
[35:19.680 -> 35:20.840] I'd never experienced it before.
[35:20.840 -> 35:22.000] Even when I was homeless,
[35:22.000 -> 35:24.280] I knew I felt something like that,
[35:24.280 -> 35:26.200] but I never said you are now depressed. I didn't put a label on it.. Even when I was homeless, I knew I felt something like that, but I never said, you are now a Proud.
[35:26.200 -> 35:27.520] I didn't put a label on it.
[35:27.520 -> 35:29.880] I knew what was going on, but I thought,
[35:29.880 -> 35:32.120] hey, actually I'm somehow create,
[35:32.120 -> 35:33.960] because we create these things for ourselves sometimes.
[35:33.960 -> 35:36.200] We can speak these things into existence.
[35:36.200 -> 35:39.160] I thought, what if I change that?
[35:39.160 -> 35:41.280] So I had done so many different types
[35:41.280 -> 35:42.280] of transformations in my life.
[35:42.280 -> 35:43.400] So physical transformation,
[35:43.400 -> 35:45.620] I've gone from fat to fit to fat to fit.
[35:47.480 -> 35:49.080] I've done the inner work.
[35:49.080 -> 35:50.520] So to win a Pride of Britain award,
[35:50.520 -> 35:52.560] to change who I am as a person,
[35:52.560 -> 35:55.620] I thought this is now the next part for me.
[35:55.620 -> 35:59.880] It's how can I become the person that everyone else sees,
[35:59.880 -> 36:01.300] but I don't need their validation
[36:01.300 -> 36:03.520] to make me feel that I'm good enough.
[36:03.520 -> 36:06.320] It's hard, but I've dealt with it.
[36:06.320 -> 36:08.080] How have you done that?
[36:08.080 -> 36:09.360] Because there's lots of people listening to this
[36:09.360 -> 36:11.200] that are still struggling with that.
[36:11.200 -> 36:13.200] Honestly, it's gonna sound selfish.
[36:13.200 -> 36:17.320] It's I feel a sense of fulfillment by the work that I do.
[36:17.320 -> 36:19.200] That's really where I flourish
[36:19.200 -> 36:22.080] because for the last seven years,
[36:22.080 -> 36:23.840] even when COVID hit and things went bust,
[36:23.840 -> 36:26.440] most people say, oh, pivot and go do something else.
[36:26.440 -> 36:28.320] I said, no, I said, I feel this is where I belong.
[36:28.320 -> 36:29.360] I need to ride this storm.
[36:29.360 -> 36:30.940] I'm not, I don't give up.
[36:30.940 -> 36:32.240] I said, I'm going to stay here
[36:32.240 -> 36:34.400] because this is my pursuit of growth.
[36:34.400 -> 36:36.080] And this is where I add the most value.
[36:36.080 -> 36:40.480] So people who are battling with that imposter syndrome,
[36:40.480 -> 36:42.620] it's a blueprint mismatch.
[36:42.620 -> 36:44.500] So with imposter syndrome,
[36:44.500 -> 36:47.280] a lot of it is to do with the story we tell ourself.
[36:47.280 -> 36:50.920] So we wake up in the morning and this is not what I do,
[36:50.920 -> 36:52.840] but I know the average person will go,
[36:52.840 -> 36:56.280] ah, social media, do I have any red ticks or anything?
[36:56.280 -> 36:58.080] Dopamine hit, ooh, I got five likes on there.
[36:58.080 -> 36:59.720] So I feel good about myself right now.
[36:59.720 -> 37:01.560] The first search, how can I escape pain
[37:01.560 -> 37:02.680] and get some pleasure?
[37:02.680 -> 37:04.760] They want to escape the story.
[37:04.760 -> 37:07.760] So I've spent the last four and a half years
[37:07.760 -> 37:11.220] really changing the story that I believe about myself.
[37:11.220 -> 37:12.060] And how do I do that?
[37:12.060 -> 37:13.560] I do that through journaling.
[37:13.560 -> 37:16.240] So if you flick to any page, I can show you today.
[37:16.240 -> 37:19.080] All right, so today's one, I do at least a page, right?
[37:19.080 -> 37:21.960] So I write where I am, I write my thoughts, the date,
[37:21.960 -> 37:24.320] and I go through something called, I call the five Fs.
[37:24.320 -> 37:25.480] First one is thankful. I know it's TH, but as and I go through something called, I call the five F's. First one is thankful.
[37:25.480 -> 37:27.840] I know it's TH, but as a joke, I put F, thankful.
[37:27.840 -> 37:29.600] What am I grateful for?
[37:29.600 -> 37:30.600] All right.
[37:30.600 -> 37:32.320] Second one is how am I feeling right now?
[37:32.320 -> 37:33.560] I really want to connect with that.
[37:33.560 -> 37:37.040] Then I want to look at what am I focusing on?
[37:37.040 -> 37:39.120] Because if I'm focusing on, I need to feel validation.
[37:39.120 -> 37:41.960] I need to wear big brand names so I feel recognized.
[37:41.960 -> 37:44.320] People think I have money because that's most people nowadays.
[37:44.320 -> 37:50.080] It's really, it's sad actually. But next one is what am I focusing on? What am I fearing?
[37:50.720 -> 37:55.760] What's happening? What am I scared of? And the last one is who or what do I need to forgive?
[37:56.880 -> 38:03.680] Now the big one for me, because I've hurt many people in my life, and through all of it,
[38:03.680 -> 38:07.360] I was beating myself up until one day someone said to me,
[38:07.360 -> 38:09.840] when did you last forgive yourself?
[38:09.840 -> 38:10.940] This was Tony Robbins.
[38:11.880 -> 38:13.960] I flew out to Fiji, I went on his programs
[38:13.960 -> 38:16.840] and we had a conversation at one of his events.
[38:16.840 -> 38:18.480] And I didn't understand what that meant.
[38:18.480 -> 38:22.420] It was so weird for me to hear, I can forgive myself.
[38:23.320 -> 38:25.680] That created like an insatiable hunger for me
[38:25.680 -> 38:30.680] to understand that we can change our physiology,
[38:30.760 -> 38:32.960] how we look, how we talk, what we believe,
[38:32.960 -> 38:35.240] our energies by the work that we do.
[38:35.240 -> 38:38.200] So I started getting very heavily into this line of work
[38:39.560 -> 38:44.100] and things like cold water exposure, breath work,
[38:44.100 -> 38:47.500] writing, reading, meditation, prayers,
[38:47.500 -> 38:51.580] all of them I thought, right, I need to find my balance,
[38:51.580 -> 38:53.540] go and do research, what's working for other people,
[38:53.540 -> 38:55.060] find what works for me.
[38:55.060 -> 38:56.900] All the Pride of Britain award stuff,
[38:56.900 -> 38:59.580] working with some celebrities and whatnot,
[38:59.580 -> 39:02.820] getting booked to go all around the world and speak,
[39:02.820 -> 39:05.160] comes off the basis of all that work.
[39:05.160 -> 39:07.600] One of the Fs that jumps out for me though,
[39:07.600 -> 39:11.200] when you read that list out, was the fear one.
[39:11.200 -> 39:12.160] Yeah.
[39:12.160 -> 39:14.760] Because we've had a number of guests on here
[39:14.760 -> 39:17.520] that have spoken really quite powerfully about that.
[39:17.520 -> 39:19.440] The one that stands out as you've read it
[39:19.440 -> 39:21.800] was when we had Dr. Pippa Grange on,
[39:21.800 -> 39:24.320] who wrote a book called Fear Less.
[39:24.320 -> 39:26.060] And she identifies two types of fears,
[39:26.060 -> 39:28.820] the in the moment fear of when somebody's holding a gun
[39:28.820 -> 39:32.360] to your head, or what's more pernicious is,
[39:32.360 -> 39:34.260] the longer I'm not good enough fear.
[39:35.340 -> 39:38.700] So I'm interested in which is the type of fear
[39:38.700 -> 39:42.420] that you're journaling and identifying that's happening,
[39:42.420 -> 39:47.720] and how do you choose to address those? Because it's what I do, I'm aware of them,
[39:47.720 -> 39:48.760] because I understand it.
[39:48.760 -> 39:51.480] So, but in my line of work, when I work with clients,
[39:51.480 -> 39:53.800] they would say, oh my, I feel this, I have this problem.
[39:53.800 -> 39:55.720] These are what I call surface fears.
[39:55.720 -> 39:57.080] So when I talk to them, I say, look,
[39:57.080 -> 39:59.080] let's get on our suit, let's go for a scuba dive.
[39:59.080 -> 40:00.040] What's really happening?
[40:00.040 -> 40:01.600] What's really going on?
[40:01.600 -> 40:03.080] Because people present all these little things,
[40:03.080 -> 40:04.360] saying, yeah, I'm struggling with my diet.
[40:04.360 -> 40:06.160] I'm like, well, that's not the issue.
[40:06.160 -> 40:07.360] The issue is deeper.
[40:07.360 -> 40:09.640] But when I'm journaling, I'm really talking about,
[40:09.640 -> 40:10.560] all right, is it short term?
[40:10.560 -> 40:11.680] What's the fear right now?
[40:11.680 -> 40:13.120] The fear might be, okay,
[40:13.120 -> 40:16.080] there's a situation in my life that we spoke about,
[40:16.080 -> 40:18.880] what's going on in my life, out of my control.
[40:18.880 -> 40:19.720] I can't control it.
[40:19.720 -> 40:21.760] Maybe I can influence it slightly,
[40:21.760 -> 40:23.280] but let's look at long-term.
[40:23.280 -> 40:26.060] What does that mean long-term for me?
[40:26.060 -> 40:27.880] That's where the true fear comes in.
[40:27.880 -> 40:30.560] I'm worrying about something I can't control right now,
[40:30.560 -> 40:34.280] but the fear is if this goes long-term, I lose this.
[40:34.280 -> 40:35.920] I then start believing that about myself.
[40:35.920 -> 40:37.640] I'm now not worthy of love.
[40:37.640 -> 40:40.800] The fear is I'm gonna become someone who I hate,
[40:40.800 -> 40:41.840] and it's a scary thing.
[40:41.840 -> 40:44.560] And so for most people, everything we do in our life,
[40:44.560 -> 40:47.200] from the perfume we put on, from how we shave our beard,
[40:47.200 -> 40:49.280] anything is to do in pain or pleasure.
[40:49.280 -> 40:50.920] We all want to be loved.
[40:50.920 -> 40:52.340] That's the depth of it.
[40:52.340 -> 40:54.520] Tell us then, because I'm really intrigued by this,
[40:54.520 -> 40:58.240] because I'm thinking in my own life of like,
[40:58.240 -> 41:00.520] fears that I have, and actually, as you say,
[41:00.520 -> 41:02.200] I'm pulling that thread and going,
[41:02.200 -> 41:04.080] oh shit, actually, that's something
[41:04.080 -> 41:07.200] that needs a deeper reflection on.
[41:07.200 -> 41:09.160] How do we go about doing that?
[41:09.160 -> 41:13.120] Or how do you help your clients go and explore
[41:13.120 -> 41:13.960] and address it?
[41:13.960 -> 41:16.720] It's a real journey to be honest.
[41:16.720 -> 41:18.080] I'm just thinking of some of my clients right now,
[41:18.080 -> 41:21.360] is they don't expect to go where we go on this journey.
[41:21.360 -> 41:22.920] Because you need to be vulnerable.
[41:22.920 -> 41:24.760] You know, before someone works with me,
[41:24.760 -> 41:26.480] they need to meet my criteria.
[41:26.480 -> 41:28.080] Because everyone will say, yeah, I'm coachable.
[41:28.080 -> 41:30.120] No, not everyone is coachable, actually.
[41:30.120 -> 41:31.440] Because they want me to say the things
[41:31.440 -> 41:32.960] that will kind of go with their ego.
[41:32.960 -> 41:34.280] I'm not that guy.
[41:34.280 -> 41:36.880] If you want to get shit done and really blow up at work
[41:36.880 -> 41:39.660] and really get a loving relationship or fix something,
[41:39.660 -> 41:42.160] I'm that guy because I deal with the shit.
[41:42.160 -> 41:43.480] So how do I do it?
[41:43.480 -> 41:45.840] It's, there are many aspects to it,
[41:45.840 -> 41:51.240] but really it's looking at yourself in the mirror, you know, internally and saying, right,
[41:51.240 -> 41:56.520] I need to become a gardener. I'm going to put my fucking gloves on, go and look, right?
[41:56.520 -> 42:02.640] What needs nurturing? What needs watering? That fucking uproot that, get that away. And
[42:02.640 -> 42:07.180] that's the first thing is really identifying the problem because some people, we know people, right?
[42:07.180 -> 42:09.000] They'll go around in life blaming everyone.
[42:09.000 -> 42:11.720] You know, yeah, well, he said that, she did this, this.
[42:11.720 -> 42:13.280] What are you accountable for?
[42:13.280 -> 42:14.440] What's your flaws?
[42:14.440 -> 42:16.160] Where are your faults?
[42:16.160 -> 42:17.000] People don't like that.
[42:17.000 -> 42:18.560] I work with a lot of corporate people, right?
[42:18.560 -> 42:20.560] So, you know, bankers or whatever,
[42:20.560 -> 42:22.520] they've got the money, they've got this ego.
[42:22.520 -> 42:24.920] And I will say shit to them that they do not like.
[42:24.920 -> 42:27.760] They still pay me because they see the outcome.
[42:27.760 -> 42:28.840] I'm getting people promotions,
[42:28.840 -> 42:31.680] I'm getting them more sex in their life and stuff.
[42:31.680 -> 42:32.800] It's great, right?
[42:32.800 -> 42:36.640] High of pleasure, but we have to go ugly first.
[42:36.640 -> 42:37.480] And that's what I was,
[42:37.480 -> 42:39.720] because I've been alone many times in my life
[42:39.720 -> 42:40.960] when I was homeless.
[42:40.960 -> 42:42.200] I've been homeless more than once, all right?
[42:42.200 -> 42:43.200] But I'm not going to talk about this,
[42:43.200 -> 42:46.640] but it's, I've been in those dark moments
[42:46.640 -> 42:49.240] where I'm okay to have that level of conversation
[42:49.240 -> 42:50.120] with myself.
[42:50.120 -> 42:52.160] I don't have this, we all have an ego,
[42:52.160 -> 42:54.160] and I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm far from that,
[42:54.160 -> 42:55.640] but I'm committed to my growth.
[42:55.640 -> 42:57.560] That's why every day I have my non-negotiables,
[42:57.560 -> 43:00.040] I'm like, this is what I'm gonna be doing every single day.
[43:00.040 -> 43:03.320] So it's, if someone's saying, well, how can I do it?
[43:03.320 -> 43:07.280] Is how often are you committed to working on that every single day or once a month
[43:07.280 -> 43:09.560] or once a year, is it enough for you?
[43:10.000 -> 43:13.680] There'll be people listening to this that can't get access to you, that can't afford
[43:13.680 -> 43:18.160] you to come in and get shit done with them, but they'll come to the podcast and hope
[43:18.160 -> 43:21.640] that they can take something away that they can apply in their own world.
[43:22.160 -> 43:28.340] What are the kinds of questions then you'd encourage listeners to ask of themselves
[43:28.340 -> 43:31.820] to start that process of addressing these underlying fears
[43:31.820 -> 43:33.580] and then getting shit done?
[43:33.580 -> 43:35.300] First one is what do I really want?
[43:35.300 -> 43:36.660] So what do you really want?
[43:37.820 -> 43:40.300] Because some people struggle with that.
[43:40.300 -> 43:41.620] Because I mentioned they'll mention something
[43:41.620 -> 43:43.020] which isn't an actual problem.
[43:43.020 -> 43:44.300] The second thing is, okay,
[43:44.300 -> 43:49.440] how much time can I put towards this? Thirdly is, who or what in my life
[43:50.000 -> 43:56.960] do I possibly need to get rid of? Is it a habit? Is it a person? Is it a career? Because people
[43:56.960 -> 44:01.520] will say, well, I can't, I can't, I can't do that. I'm divorced, right? I've got divorced.
[44:01.520 -> 44:06.280] I'm with someone else. I'm engaged. And at the time, it was an uproar.
[44:06.280 -> 44:08.160] How can you get a divorce?
[44:08.160 -> 44:09.280] I'm not scared of what they're gonna say,
[44:09.280 -> 44:11.400] people will talk shit anyways, all right?
[44:11.400 -> 44:14.520] It wasn't a nice moment in my life at all,
[44:14.520 -> 44:18.000] but there are certain sacrifices that you have to make
[44:18.000 -> 44:21.000] to become the person that you want to become.
[44:21.000 -> 44:23.800] And for me, that was one of those sacrifices.
[44:23.800 -> 44:26.400] And I'm not scared to do those. I went homeless as a sacrifice.
[44:26.400 -> 44:28.600] I moved cities as a sacrifice.
[44:28.600 -> 44:31.100] So the question is, are you willing to do what it takes?
[44:31.100 -> 44:32.100] Because some people will say to me,
[44:32.100 -> 44:34.500] well, I can't give that up because it's one of my favorite food.
[44:34.500 -> 44:37.300] If it's a losing weight, for example, I can't give that up.
[44:37.300 -> 44:38.600] You're not ready for the change.
[44:38.600 -> 44:41.700] So what I do with people is I find the right amount of leverage.
[44:41.700 -> 44:44.200] Until there should, so I should really do that, becomes a must.
[44:44.200 -> 44:47.680] And they say, well, I need to make a change right
[44:47.680 -> 44:51.640] now and I do that through it's hard to explain here it's more something that
[44:51.640 -> 44:54.760] people experience. But go into that then because that's really interesting for
[44:54.760 -> 45:00.400] people to hear that we often talk about I should do this so you're doing it
[45:00.400 -> 45:05.920] because I have to do this is we we do it through desperation. I should do it is rationalization.
[45:06.640 -> 45:07.560] I get to do this.
[45:07.560 -> 45:09.960] I want to do this is from inspiration.
[45:10.520 -> 45:14.480] Tell us about how you pick up on these language cues
[45:14.480 -> 45:16.280] then to help people make that.
[45:16.280 -> 45:19.960] So I'm not going to say all I had going for me through my life was communication.
[45:19.960 -> 45:23.360] I never had, but I was very, I grew up with a stutter and a stammer.
[45:23.400 -> 45:24.920] I couldn't really communicate.
[45:24.920 -> 45:26.160] Maybe you don't know this about me.
[45:26.160 -> 45:28.120] So I used to stutter a lot.
[45:28.120 -> 45:29.360] So I've been laughed at, right?
[45:29.360 -> 45:31.680] I go try to talk to a chick in Chocodero and say,
[45:31.680 -> 45:32.520] you know, what's your name?
[45:32.520 -> 45:35.800] But it was, it was that level of stutter.
[45:36.840 -> 45:38.840] That caused me to become very hyper aware
[45:38.840 -> 45:41.000] to the point where I didn't speak a lot.
[45:41.000 -> 45:42.520] I used to watch people talk.
[45:42.520 -> 45:44.000] And I used to watch, when you say that,
[45:44.000 -> 45:45.160] his face did this, and I used to watch people talk. And I used to watch when you say that, his face did this.
[45:45.160 -> 45:46.600] And I used to study humans.
[45:47.800 -> 45:50.840] So you can see, I think I won some kind of award
[45:50.840 -> 45:53.520] with Yahoo for being the communication coach.
[45:53.520 -> 45:54.560] Because I love communication.
[45:54.560 -> 45:56.000] Everything is communication.
[45:56.000 -> 45:59.200] Every problem can be solved with communication,
[45:59.200 -> 46:01.200] not just verbal, but everything else.
[46:01.200 -> 46:04.000] So when someone's talking and I can feel them,
[46:04.000 -> 46:05.720] because when I talk to humans, I can feel them.
[46:05.720 -> 46:07.480] And they're saying all these problems,
[46:07.480 -> 46:09.020] I can say, you know, you've just said the words,
[46:09.020 -> 46:10.520] I think 22 times, you know,
[46:10.520 -> 46:12.080] you've just said probably five times.
[46:12.080 -> 46:13.600] And I remember these things,
[46:13.600 -> 46:17.120] because I know for Omar to go from an ex-gang member
[46:17.120 -> 46:19.840] who nobody gave a shit about really,
[46:19.840 -> 46:21.960] besides his family and friends,
[46:21.960 -> 46:23.280] sometimes not even them at times,
[46:23.280 -> 46:25.040] because I wasn't perfect growing up.
[46:25.040 -> 46:28.720] But now I'm sitting in a room with King Charles. It was a situation, I was with King Charles alone
[46:28.720 -> 46:32.480] in the room for like half an hour and he told everyone else to get out. We were just talking.
[46:32.480 -> 46:34.880] Right, about what? Tell us what.
[46:36.160 -> 46:40.560] Essentially, the truth is he told me, don't give us all the credit for your success.
[46:41.600 -> 46:43.120] This is before the Pride of Britain award.
[46:43.120 -> 46:44.800] Were you giving him credit for your success?
[46:45.720 -> 46:48.960] I was because I was saying, you know, and his charity, I said, yeah, you know,
[46:48.960 -> 46:49.760] they saved my life.
[46:49.760 -> 46:50.720] They turned my life around.
[46:51.080 -> 46:52.360] He said, we didn't do that for you.
[46:53.080 -> 46:54.360] We gave you a platform.
[46:54.920 -> 46:56.360] You showed up on time.
[46:56.480 -> 46:57.560] You did the hard work.
[46:57.960 -> 47:01.320] We, to the point where they wanted to employ me to run those programs for them.
[47:01.360 -> 47:02.520] Cause they're like, there's something special.
[47:02.520 -> 47:04.160] He said, you've done this work.
[47:04.560 -> 47:08.480] And I thought, Prince Charles telling me to basically believe in myself.
[47:08.480 -> 47:10.280] I'm like, cause I was, why?
[47:10.760 -> 47:11.760] I didn't feel worthy enough.
[47:11.800 -> 47:12.640] I felt like an idiot.
[47:13.040 -> 47:16.480] So my whole life, whenever I've gone to somewhere or someone, I will say, yeah,
[47:16.480 -> 47:17.640] that person changed my life.
[47:18.040 -> 47:20.040] That person, I did the work.
[47:20.360 -> 47:21.400] It's what I say about my clients.
[47:21.400 -> 47:24.280] I say, when you work with me, never say I changed your life.
[47:24.280 -> 47:26.860] I'm going to give you some some tools you go and do the work
[47:27.200 -> 47:32.240] But then a little bit earlier you said I'll get you the promotion. I'll get you more sex
[47:32.240 -> 47:36.580] Yeah, so you're saying that I will get you this but though you said also saying
[47:36.580 -> 47:41.320] In the sense that I hold you're doing it. I hold tool sets. I have some keys that will help them
[47:41.320 -> 47:44.440] Right, right, but what they do between our calls
[47:42.600 -> 47:45.460] I have some keys that will help them, right? But what they do between our calls,
[47:45.460 -> 47:47.440] that's down to you now.
[47:47.440 -> 47:48.280] I can't hold your account.
[47:48.280 -> 47:49.100] I'm not there.
[47:49.100 -> 47:50.920] You don't have access to me 24 seven.
[47:50.920 -> 47:52.080] That's not gonna happen.
[47:52.080 -> 47:53.360] So I can give you the tools.
[47:53.360 -> 47:54.520] It's working, it's enough,
[47:54.520 -> 47:55.440] but you need to make sure,
[47:55.440 -> 47:57.080] because I give them all homework and stuff.
[47:57.080 -> 47:58.580] And it's not just, right?
[47:58.580 -> 48:00.680] I want them to go out there and do something.
[48:00.680 -> 48:03.360] So if it's one person had to speak to a manager
[48:03.360 -> 48:08.040] about something and they put it off for four years, I said, next week we're having that meeting and you're going to set
[48:08.040 -> 48:12.200] the terms on that meeting. Happened. Why? I found the leverage.
[48:12.200 -> 48:20.200] What an amazing story. Can I jump in with one? I'm interested in like a macro level
[48:20.200 -> 48:27.000] problem then because I'm conscious that you're there and you're sat at the seats of power,
[48:27.000 -> 48:31.220] King Charles, Prince Harry, the Metropolitan police are coming to you.
[48:31.220 -> 48:36.640] And yet knife crime isn't decreasing.
[48:36.640 -> 48:42.980] You know, we're still hearing about young black boys predominantly that are still being
[48:42.980 -> 48:47.360] involved and caught up in this gang culture.
[48:47.360 -> 48:50.080] What can we do to change it then?
[48:50.080 -> 48:55.800] So if you were in charge, rather than just being a voice at the table, what can we do
[48:55.800 -> 48:58.320] as a society to change this culture?
[48:58.320 -> 49:02.440] So here's why I love communication so much.
[49:02.440 -> 49:05.000] If I learned the power of articulation from a young age,
[49:06.440 -> 49:08.800] I probably wouldn't have got stabbed.
[49:08.800 -> 49:12.560] I wouldn't have seen, because when, when I'm not saying,
[49:12.560 -> 49:13.400] all right, girls do this too,
[49:13.400 -> 49:14.560] but let's focus on the guys, right?
[49:14.560 -> 49:16.600] Cause that's who we see on the streets.
[49:16.600 -> 49:18.200] It's when they're stabbing people
[49:18.200 -> 49:20.760] and when they're doing all these things,
[49:20.760 -> 49:23.040] essentially they're expressing their emotions
[49:23.040 -> 49:24.400] through those actions.
[49:24.400 -> 49:28.480] They, they speak the way they do, right?
[49:28.480 -> 49:34.260] And they don't know how to get this emotion and this feeling out effectively to the point
[49:34.260 -> 49:38.160] where they become so stressed and they don't want to feel like an idiot.
[49:38.160 -> 49:40.240] So their retaliation is anger.
[49:40.240 -> 49:44.280] And I felt that for, I won't show you my knuckles, but my knuckles, this right hand is full of
[49:44.280 -> 49:46.040] scars. I've broken three of these knuckles.
[49:46.040 -> 49:47.360] Everyone has cut up.
[49:47.360 -> 49:48.480] This is the hand I used to hit with.
[49:48.480 -> 49:50.240] And it wasn't hitting people sometimes.
[49:50.240 -> 49:52.560] It was, cause I had this stutter and stammer.
[49:52.560 -> 49:54.320] Sometimes I couldn't express myself quick enough
[49:54.320 -> 49:56.560] cause I would, so I'd go to a brick wall sometimes
[49:56.560 -> 49:58.400] and punch the brick, I was very young.
[49:58.400 -> 49:59.840] I used to punch the wall.
[49:59.840 -> 50:02.520] Cause I thought, I just want to feel understood.
[50:02.520 -> 50:04.080] And I can't communicate that.
[50:04.080 -> 50:06.560] So the question you're saying of how can we help
[50:06.560 -> 50:08.920] is what I call state management.
[50:08.920 -> 50:12.760] So when, for example, I've had knives put against me, right?
[50:12.760 -> 50:15.400] And if I go back and I'm looking at that person
[50:15.400 -> 50:17.000] with the eyes I have now,
[50:17.000 -> 50:19.440] is they're always breathing very shallow.
[50:19.440 -> 50:22.800] So they're angry and they're breathing here, right?
[50:22.800 -> 50:24.600] State management is how can I calm
[50:24.600 -> 50:29.480] your fucking ass down in seconds? Number one is by breathing, alright? Number two is
[50:29.480 -> 50:32.760] also what you're focusing on. So your physiology, right, is in a position of
[50:32.760 -> 50:35.960] strength. You feel significant because you've got a knife to my stomach now in
[50:35.960 -> 50:39.680] front of your boy so you feel like you're elevated, alright? But let's look
[50:39.680 -> 50:43.040] at the deep problem. What are you focusing on? Did I do something to hurt
[50:43.040 -> 50:46.960] you? So you feel like I've made you a mug, okay let's communicate that. How's that making you
[50:46.960 -> 50:52.040] feel? I feel disappointed, I feel hurt, I feel sad. Alright, okay. So now you go from
[50:52.040 -> 50:56.040] pissed off to feeling out that actually he's just sad about something. I've
[50:56.040 -> 50:58.640] worked with people in prison, I've sat down in their cells with them doing this
[50:58.640 -> 51:04.120] kind of work and I'm talking to big guys, muscles out here crying, I'm giving
[51:04.120 -> 51:05.400] them hugs. They wasn't taught how crying, I'm giving them hugs.
[51:05.400 -> 51:06.600] They wasn't taught how to,
[51:06.600 -> 51:08.360] I wasn't taught how to communicate.
[51:08.360 -> 51:09.580] I was taught how to be a gentleman,
[51:09.580 -> 51:11.840] but I didn't know how to communicate that.
[51:11.840 -> 51:14.060] And believe me, I did have an anger problem years ago.
[51:14.060 -> 51:15.880] Cause like I said, the streets are rough.
[51:15.880 -> 51:17.320] You don't know, you hear a siren, you're like,
[51:17.320 -> 51:18.440] is that for me?
[51:18.440 -> 51:20.240] Or you're walking and there's a bunch of guys
[51:20.240 -> 51:21.480] and hoods walking towards you thinking,
[51:21.480 -> 51:22.960] is this my last day?
[51:22.960 -> 51:28.340] I grew up with that anxiety. So what I would do to try and help out there is to give them
[51:28.340 -> 51:32.060] the education. We don't need Pythagoras theorem in school especially in London
[51:32.060 -> 51:36.340] and whatnot. When are they gonna use it? Teach breath work. I do breath work every
[51:36.340 -> 51:40.640] single day. Teach them state management. How can we go from pissed off to not
[51:40.640 -> 51:44.400] just happy but just neutral in a matter of five ten seconds because that can
[51:44.400 -> 51:48.320] cost someone's life those five ten seconds. I've seen it. I've seen people get stabbed in front
[51:48.320 -> 51:53.040] of me a number of times. If I could have just jumped in and said, hey, breathe from chest
[51:53.040 -> 51:56.880] and I'll go to your stomach, breathe your diaphragm, that's enough. I think that that
[51:56.880 -> 52:02.080] narrative of we're teaching Pythagoras theorem to young people so angry they're going and
[52:02.080 -> 52:07.920] stabbing other young people is like, that is a isn't it and it's fine to still teach that stuff
[52:07.920 -> 52:12.720] yeah sorry i'm not gonna teach it alongside things that can save people's lives
[52:12.720 -> 52:16.560] in Skywars and what they're teaching how to survive out in the in the wild that is the wild
[52:17.200 -> 52:20.880] like there are kids out there who are fear there are parents fearing every day when my son or
[52:20.880 -> 52:25.480] daughter goes to football club or whatever are they coming home tonight?
[52:25.480 -> 52:30.520] They need survival skills and I'm not talking about how to light a campfire. They need to
[52:30.520 -> 52:40.640] know things like this. It's all human emotion, understand how staying out of trouble, it's
[52:40.640 -> 52:45.560] scary. It is scary. So, and I'm working more with adults now, not kids,
[52:45.560 -> 52:48.940] because we're the ones they look up to.
[52:48.940 -> 52:52.680] So if we can do something right to influence them,
[52:52.680 -> 52:54.680] I think we're starting to get it,
[52:54.680 -> 52:57.000] the ball rolling in the right direction.
[52:57.000 -> 52:58.120] Very good. Yeah.
[52:58.120 -> 53:00.120] We've reached the point for our quick fire questions Omar.
[53:00.120 -> 53:01.000] Yes.
[53:01.000 -> 53:03.280] The three non-negotiable behaviors
[53:03.280 -> 53:05.360] that you and the people around you have to buy into.
[53:05.360 -> 53:10.720] So one of them is, is I check in with myself. Yeah. So the five Fs. So journaling. Yeah. Find
[53:10.720 -> 53:16.880] time to journal. Right. Next one is I can stay connected to the source, meaning I'm a Muslim.
[53:16.880 -> 53:22.400] So Allah for me is, we have our five daily prayers. I do my best, but I have a conversation with him
[53:23.120 -> 53:25.320] because for me, like I said, high
[53:25.320 -> 53:27.480] performance is spiritual strength.
[53:27.480 -> 53:28.800] And that for me came from him.
[53:28.800 -> 53:33.960] When I was going through all those things, I called upon a higher power to help me say
[53:33.960 -> 53:34.960] the right words.
[53:34.960 -> 53:39.800] And I'm alive today and I'm well, and that would have come from him.
[53:39.800 -> 53:42.040] And the third one is a really important one for me.
[53:42.040 -> 53:48.040] It's just habitual. I try to make someone else feel seen
[53:48.040 -> 53:49.720] at least one person per day.
[53:49.720 -> 53:51.900] So whether I'm talking to someone as a taxi driver
[53:51.900 -> 53:54.800] or something, I know the importance of it.
[53:54.800 -> 53:56.520] When I compliment someone's perfume,
[53:56.520 -> 53:58.360] you should see the eyes light up.
[53:58.360 -> 54:01.440] And I'm like, so at least one person per day,
[54:01.440 -> 54:03.440] I want to take a real interest in you.
[54:03.440 -> 54:05.440] That's one of my negotiables.
[54:06.640 -> 54:10.440] What's your biggest weakness and your greatest strength?
[54:10.440 -> 54:13.080] It's a weakness that I'm changing and working on
[54:13.080 -> 54:14.840] is that I can do it by myself.
[54:14.840 -> 54:16.880] That was a mindset I had for a long time.
[54:17.800 -> 54:19.800] I know the truth and I know I can't, right?
[54:19.800 -> 54:22.080] It's there, but for some reason,
[54:22.080 -> 54:27.000] it was a belief system that I took a long time to rid of.
[54:27.000 -> 54:28.880] And the biggest strength,
[54:28.880 -> 54:31.160] I'm not stopping until I'm in my grave.
[54:31.160 -> 54:32.720] And I think even at that point, I won't stop
[54:32.720 -> 54:35.120] because I would have left some kind of legacy behind.
[54:35.120 -> 54:37.920] Often on this podcast, we talk about the hidden 1%.
[54:37.920 -> 54:41.320] That tiny margin makes a big difference,
[54:41.320 -> 54:42.880] which most people don't go to.
[54:43.920 -> 54:45.460] Would you give us an example of where you find
[54:45.460 -> 54:46.920] that 1% in your life?
[54:48.080 -> 54:49.480] Of where I go to, you mean?
[54:49.480 -> 54:51.800] Where you go, what you do, something just to
[54:52.760 -> 54:54.600] take a step in front of others,
[54:54.600 -> 54:55.880] to do the things that others don't do,
[54:55.880 -> 54:57.880] to take you places they can't get to.
[54:57.880 -> 54:59.000] I think I've covered part of this,
[54:59.000 -> 55:01.680] but so for example, if I had to look at my 24 hours
[55:01.680 -> 55:04.420] in the day, two and a half to three of those
[55:04.420 -> 55:05.740] is me working on me.
[55:05.740 -> 55:10.740] I've carved out that time because if I do this,
[55:10.760 -> 55:13.740] I can then be, do, and have the things that I deserve.
[55:13.740 -> 55:17.640] I find when I nurture this, the body, the mind,
[55:17.640 -> 55:20.380] the spirit, the soul, everything, everything changes.
[55:20.380 -> 55:24.020] What book, podcast, or learning resource
[55:24.020 -> 55:28.000] would you advise our listeners to go and look at?
[55:28.000 -> 55:31.000] Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.
[55:31.000 -> 55:33.000] That book is so deep.
[55:33.000 -> 55:40.000] Someone who was in a Nazi concentration camp can find the will to live after what he's going through.
[55:40.000 -> 55:42.000] Some of our problems are not...
[55:42.000 -> 55:44.000] Like he was destined to die.
[55:44.000 -> 55:46.560] His goal was work,
[55:46.560 -> 55:48.960] eat probably a piece of bread every day, that's it.
[55:48.960 -> 55:50.240] And at one point we will call you
[55:50.240 -> 55:52.640] into a concentration camp and you're dead.
[55:52.640 -> 55:54.160] But he didn't think like that.
[55:54.160 -> 55:56.120] So that book really kind of shifted things for me
[55:56.120 -> 55:58.640] in regards to perspective and risk.
[55:58.640 -> 55:59.560] Everything changes.
[55:59.560 -> 56:02.280] Like I said, a man who has a why to live
[56:02.280 -> 56:04.680] can bear almost any how, that's what he found.
[56:04.680 -> 56:06.240] It's that depth.
[56:06.240 -> 56:08.080] So that's, yeah, it's a short book I recommend
[56:08.080 -> 56:09.600] that people can read.
[56:09.600 -> 56:10.440] Very nice.
[56:10.440 -> 56:12.120] And your final message really to the people
[56:12.120 -> 56:14.480] that have listened to this conversation,
[56:14.480 -> 56:15.580] what would you say to them?
[56:15.580 -> 56:19.160] Your one golden rule for living a high performance life?
[56:19.160 -> 56:21.200] I'd say like what I mentioned was my weakness.
[56:21.200 -> 56:23.320] Don't try to do it all alone
[56:23.320 -> 56:25.200] because I've seen the dark side of
[56:25.200 -> 56:31.080] that. I've seen, I've felt the pain of that and many people, especially men,
[56:31.080 -> 56:34.520] don't communicate enough. If you're struggling, I'm not just talking mental
[56:34.520 -> 56:37.840] health, you can have any problem. Don't try and do it all alone and in my world
[56:37.840 -> 56:41.160] people come to me because they want the coaching, the mentorship, the
[56:41.160 -> 56:47.200] accountability. That's what I went and looked for. Or mentors, I had my own coaches,
[56:47.200 -> 56:50.240] because people, us, with people,
[56:50.240 -> 56:52.000] we can go to places within ourselves
[56:52.000 -> 56:54.400] that we couldn't go to by ourselves.
[56:54.400 -> 56:58.160] When I learned that and I felt that, my life changed.
[56:58.160 -> 57:01.240] So go and get the help you need.
[57:01.240 -> 57:04.400] I'm not saying come to me, but find someone,
[57:04.400 -> 57:05.680] invest in yourself, meaning go and
[57:05.680 -> 57:08.760] invest in someone else's experience. They can short track your success.
[57:08.760 -> 57:11.120] Mate, thank you so much.
[57:11.120 -> 57:12.120] Thank you.
[57:12.120 -> 57:16.080] What an incredible story to start where you did to experience what you did and to be here
[57:16.080 -> 57:18.280] now is amazing.
[57:18.280 -> 57:19.280] Damien.
[57:19.280 -> 57:20.280] Jake.
[57:20.280 -> 57:21.280] What a story.
[57:21.280 -> 57:25.680] Amazing. absolutely amazing.
[57:25.680 -> 57:28.160] I was reminded when he was telling me,
[57:28.160 -> 57:32.320] remember nearly 20 years ago, I did some youth work.
[57:32.320 -> 57:35.080] And we did a survey amongst young lads in the area
[57:35.080 -> 57:37.680] of like what jobs they wanted to do when they grew up.
[57:37.680 -> 57:39.880] And being a footballer came top of the list,
[57:39.880 -> 57:42.240] as you'd imagine, being a boxer came third,
[57:42.240 -> 57:44.200] given where we're doing it.
[57:44.200 -> 57:48.800] But the second most common job was, most of the kids told us, they identified they wanted
[57:48.800 -> 57:50.240] to work for a local drug dealer.
[57:50.240 -> 57:55.120] Yeah, and when we first did it, it really upset us as adults because we thought we were
[57:55.120 -> 57:59.520] trying to set high aspirations for the kids and trying to give them a sense that there's
[57:59.520 -> 58:01.360] a better opportunity out there.
[58:01.360 -> 58:07.360] And when we went and explored it, the kids were telling us what we thought
[58:07.360 -> 58:11.560] we were trying to do, but they didn't know doctors, they didn't know lawyers,
[58:11.560 -> 58:13.400] they didn't know entrepreneurs.
[58:13.400 -> 58:17.400] But what they did see was the guy in the pimped up Range Rover, the guy with loads
[58:17.400 -> 58:19.440] of money, the guy with the respects on the street.
[58:20.240 -> 58:23.080] And what they were actually telling us, they wanted all the things that we thought
[58:23.320 -> 58:25.000] society was setting up, but they were looking telling us, they wanted all the things that we thought society was setting up,
[58:25.000 -> 58:29.400] but they were looking in their world and seeing the only person that seemed to have that
[58:29.400 -> 58:35.280] was this particular guy. And what it forced us to do as leaders in that community at the time was
[58:35.280 -> 58:41.600] try and show them there was another way. And I think that's what really resonated with Omar's story there,
[58:41.600 -> 58:48.780] that there is another way, but we, and collectively we as a society and adults within it,
[58:48.780 -> 58:50.840] need to help people, give them that chance
[58:50.840 -> 58:54.440] to see alternatives and what he's doing is incredible.
[58:54.440 -> 58:57.180] Also, all these years later, right,
[58:57.180 -> 59:00.700] from when Omar went through his experiences on the street,
[59:00.700 -> 59:02.600] people still look at gang members and just think,
[59:02.600 -> 59:04.440] oh, they're just doing it for the money.
[59:04.440 -> 59:05.980] They're doing it because they're not nice people.
[59:05.980 -> 59:07.440] They're doing it because they're criminals.
[59:07.440 -> 59:10.480] Yeah, he's sat here exactly as Carl Loco has
[59:10.480 -> 59:13.060] and exactly as John McAvoy has.
[59:13.060 -> 59:14.040] And they've explained to us
[59:14.040 -> 59:15.720] that they were victims of circumstance.
[59:15.720 -> 59:19.160] And every single one of them just wanted to be seen,
[59:19.160 -> 59:21.080] wanted to be understood.
[59:21.080 -> 59:22.780] They were all scared, they were all worried,
[59:22.780 -> 59:28.520] but they all went along with the world in which they were in. And I think, you know, I saw a great phrase on your Instagram
[59:28.520 -> 59:33.200] recently, instead of picking people up out of the river, we need to go upstream and find
[59:33.200 -> 59:37.600] out why they're falling in in the first place. And that's exactly what we need to do with
[59:37.600 -> 59:41.600] not just young people in gangs, but young people all the time. When we have what is
[59:41.600 -> 59:50.400] an epidemic of young people struggling either with their mental health or with their physical health or in this instance in gang violence, let's go upstream and not pick them
[59:50.400 -> 59:53.920] out further down the river but find out why they're falling in in the first place, understand
[59:53.920 -> 59:59.040] them, work with them, help them, nurture them and put them on a path to a great future because sadly
[59:59.840 -> 01:00:05.840] Omar is the exception to the rule. Yeah definitely definitely. I think I like that conversation at the end
[01:00:05.840 -> 01:00:08.680] where we spoke about this isn't to denigrate
[01:00:08.680 -> 01:00:09.720] formal education.
[01:00:09.720 -> 01:00:14.720] This isn't to say using a protractor isn't a useful skill.
[01:00:14.880 -> 01:00:16.440] It is, I get that.
[01:00:16.440 -> 01:00:19.400] But this stuff can be done alongside education.
[01:00:19.400 -> 01:00:21.720] It's a broad church and this education,
[01:00:21.720 -> 01:00:24.480] what Omar said about teaching kids about deep breathing,
[01:00:24.480 -> 01:00:29.000] teaching them about how to reduce high levels of emotion,
[01:00:29.000 -> 01:00:35.000] to be able to avoid conflict, how to articulate feelings,
[01:00:35.000 -> 01:00:39.000] are all useful skills in education that can...
[01:00:39.000 -> 01:00:41.000] It's the upstream stuff of that quote,
[01:00:41.000 -> 01:00:44.000] it's about how can we equip people with those skills to avoid these problems,
[01:00:44.000 -> 01:00:49.080] rather than just crack down hard or demonize these young
[01:00:49.080 -> 01:00:53.320] men predominantly that find themselves in these victims of circumstances.
[01:00:53.320 -> 01:00:55.720] Thanks mate. Thank you mate, loved it.
[01:00:55.720 -> 01:01:00.600] Well look I hope you enjoyed that. Tickets are selling super fast actually
[01:01:00.600 -> 01:01:04.560] for our next live tour night at the London Palladium on the 20th of April.
[01:01:04.560 -> 01:01:08.480] It's a Thursday night, if you can be there, there are some tickets still available. We'd
[01:01:08.480 -> 01:01:13.600] love to see you in person. But for now, thanks for listening. Go and chase your own version
[01:01:13.600 -> 01:01:29.280] of high performance. Bye!