E174 - Stef Reid: You can’t always change the world, but you can always change yourself

Stef Reid is a track and field Paralympian, who competes for Team GB. She is a World Champion, four-time Paralympian, triple Paralympic medallist, and five-time world record holder. Stef has a degree in biochemistry, and recently starred in the British reality TV show Dancing On Ice 2022.

In this episode she shares the story of the boating accident that caused the loss of her foot as a teenager and the struggle that followed. After her accident Stef struggled with a change in identity, feeling like her only identity was being an athlete she worried there was nothing more she could offer. Opening up about what helped her through this difficult time, Stef discusses the importance of allowing others to help you and welcoming team-work. 

Having had a series of coaches, with varying methods, Stef shares what she looks for in a coach and how she learns from them. Rather than asking questions, for Stef, the learning comes from watching. The things that set people apart are the way they handle the mundane aspects of life…

They delve into imposter syndrome, self-doubt and embracing failure.

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## Summary of the Podcast Episode:

### Embracing High Performance with Steph Reid: From Trauma to Triumph

#### Introduction:
* Steph Reid, a remarkable Paralympic athlete, shares her inspiring journey of overcoming adversity and achieving high performance in diverse fields.

#### The Boating Accident and Its Aftermath:
* At the age of 16, Steph faced a life-changing boating accident that resulted in the amputation of her foot.
* She experienced intense pain, fear, and uncertainty about her future.
* Her mother's unwavering support and the encouragement of Nurse Claudette became pivotal moments in her recovery.

#### Embracing a New Identity:
* Steph struggled with her new identity as an amputee and initially felt like her athletic career was over.
* She realized the importance of teamwork and allowing others to help her through this challenging time.

#### Learning from Coaches and Embracing Failure:
* Steph emphasizes the significance of learning from coaches, even when their methods differ.
* She highlights the importance of embracing failure as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

#### Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Self-Doubt:
* Steph discusses the prevalence of imposter syndrome and self-doubt among high performers.
* She emphasizes the need to recognize and challenge these negative thoughts.
* Embracing fear and discomfort as triggers for growth and exploration is essential.

#### The Importance of Self-Care and Mental Health:
* Steph stresses the significance of self-care and maintaining mental health amidst the pursuit of high performance.
* She advocates for seeking support from friends, family, and professionals when needed.

#### The Power of Team Effort:
* Steph emphasizes the importance of teamwork and collaboration in achieving success.
* She highlights the role of selfless coaches and mentors in fostering a supportive environment.

#### Key Takeaways:
* Embrace challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth and resilience.
* Surround yourself with a supportive network of family, friends, and mentors.
* Continuously learn and adapt to new situations and environments.
* Embrace failure and self-doubt as stepping stones to success.
* Prioritize self-care and mental well-being alongside high performance.
* Foster a team-oriented mindset and collaborate with others to achieve shared goals.

#### Conclusion:
* Steph's story serves as an inspiration to embrace high performance in all aspects of life, overcome adversity, and make a positive impact on the world.

# Summary: The High-Performance Podcast: Stef Reid - Embracing Setbacks and Thriving Through Adaptive Mindset

**Introduction**

Stef Reid, a Paralympic champion, shares her inspiring journey of overcoming adversity and embracing an adaptive mindset. From a life-changing boating accident to her successful athletic career, Stef's story highlights the power of resilience and the importance of seeking support and collaboration.

**Navigating Identity Shifts and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome**

After her accident, Stef struggled with her identity as an athlete. She feared that her value was solely defined by her athletic achievements. However, with the support of her family and friends, she realized that her worth extended beyond her physical abilities. Stef emphasizes the significance of allowing others to help and welcoming teamwork in overcoming challenges.

**The Role of Coaching and Continuous Learning**

Stef reflects on her experiences with various coaches and the lessons she learned from each one. She emphasizes the importance of observation and learning from the mundane aspects of life. Rather than asking questions, Stef believes that watching and absorbing information is a more effective way to learn.

**Imposter Syndrome, Self-Doubt, and Embracing Failure**

Stef acknowledges the prevalence of imposter syndrome and self-doubt among high performers. She encourages individuals to embrace these feelings as indicators of caring deeply about their pursuits. She emphasizes the importance of chasing failure as a means of pushing limits and achieving growth.

**The Power of an Adaptive Mindset**

Stef highlights the importance of an adaptive mindset in overcoming challenges and achieving success. She emphasizes the need to embrace change, seek new opportunities, and learn from setbacks. Stef believes that the ability to adapt and persevere is crucial for thriving in a constantly evolving world.

**Key Takeaways**

1. **Embrace Setbacks:** Adversity can be a catalyst for growth and resilience.

2. **Seek Support:** Allow others to help and foster a collaborative environment.

3. **Learn from Others:** Observe and absorb information from those around you.

4. **Embrace Failure:** View failure as an opportunity for learning and growth.

5. **Cultivate an Adaptive Mindset:** Be open to change, seek new opportunities, and learn from setbacks.

**Conclusion**

Stef Reid's journey is a testament to the power of resilience, adaptability, and the importance of embracing both success and failure. Her story inspires listeners to overcome their own challenges and strive for excellence in all aspects of life.

# Podcast Summary: The High-Performance Podcast - Episode with Stef Reid

**Intro**

* Stef Reid is a Paralympian, track, and field athlete who has won multiple medals and broken world records.
* In this episode, she shares her story of overcoming adversity, including a life-changing boating accident that resulted in the loss of her foot.

**Main Points**

* **Identity and Self-Worth:**
* Stef discusses the challenges of defining her identity after her accident, as she had previously been known primarily as an athlete.
* She emphasizes the importance of not tying one's identity to specific achievements or external factors, as these can change over time.
* Instead, she suggests focusing on core values and qualities that remain constant, such as commitment, hard work, and kindness.

* **Embracing Failure and Taking Risks:**
* Stef highlights the significance of embracing failure and taking risks, especially early in one's career.
* She believes that young athletes should be encouraged to experiment and try new things, even if they might fail, as this helps them learn and grow.
* She emphasizes the importance of developing a love for adventure and being willing to step outside one's comfort zone.

* **Dealing with Imposter Syndrome and Self-Doubt:**
* Stef addresses the common experience of imposter syndrome and self-doubt among athletes.
* She suggests that it is important to recognize that these feelings are normal and that everyone experiences them at some point.
* She emphasizes the need to focus on self-improvement and growth, rather than comparing oneself to others.

* **Finding the Hidden 1%:**
* Stef believes that the "hidden 1%" that makes a difference in success is the willingness to do something extra.
* She encourages athletes to go above and beyond what is expected, to find unique ways to improve, and to never settle for mediocrity.

* **Key Takeaways:**
* Be uncomfortable: Stef advises listeners to embrace discomfort and challenge themselves by saying yes to new opportunities, taking risks, and trying new things.
* Focus on your values: She emphasizes the importance of identifying and living according to one's core values, as this provides a solid foundation for personal and professional success.
* Embrace failure: Stef encourages listeners to embrace failure as a learning opportunity and to not let it define them.

**Conclusion**

* Stef Reid's story is an inspiring example of resilience, perseverance, and the power of embracing change.
* Her advice on identity, taking risks, and dealing with self-doubt is valuable for athletes and non-athletes alike.
* The episode provides insights into the mindset and strategies of a high-performance athlete and offers practical takeaways for listeners looking to improve their own performance.

[00:00.000 -> 00:06.320] Hi there, I'm Jake Humphrey and this is High Performance, the podcast that reminds you
[00:06.320 -> 00:07.640] that it's within.
[00:07.640 -> 00:11.800] Your story, your ambition, your purpose, it's all there.
[00:11.800 -> 00:16.420] We just help to unlock it by turning the lived experiences of the planet's highest performers
[00:16.420 -> 00:18.080] into your life lessons.
[00:18.080 -> 00:26.480] So right now, enjoy a conversation with one of the most remarkable athletes on the planet. It felt like forever.
[00:26.480 -> 00:28.480] And I just remember darkness.
[00:28.480 -> 00:31.240] And I mean, I knew how bad it was,
[00:31.240 -> 00:32.800] the risk of bleeding out and, you know,
[00:32.800 -> 00:33.640] we're in the middle of nowhere
[00:33.640 -> 00:35.120] and I needed a blood transfusion.
[00:35.120 -> 00:39.160] And just that realization, actually, this could be it.
[00:39.160 -> 00:40.880] And then it was my mom came in
[00:40.880 -> 00:43.000] and she was the one that had to say, you know,
[00:43.000 -> 00:44.640] I'm so sorry.
[00:44.640 -> 00:46.000] They did everything they could,
[00:46.000 -> 00:52.640] but they were unable to save all of your leg and they had to amputate. Life is never going to look
[00:52.640 -> 00:57.680] the same again and actually I'm not sure right now I want that life or I want to know what it looks like.
[00:58.400 -> 01:03.040] The world is not going to change for you. Often you don't have an option, so you have to change
[01:03.040 -> 01:07.120] for it and you know you can sit back and think, oh, things are really unfair and really
[01:07.120 -> 01:11.120] hard, but ultimately the only thing I can
[01:11.120 -> 01:14.640] change is me, my actions, what I do, my attitude. If I'm given an
[01:14.640 -> 01:17.840] opportunity or someone asks me to do something, and the first thing that I
[01:17.840 -> 01:21.600] feel is fear and self-doubt, for me that is a trigger. That is something you must
[01:21.600 -> 01:23.760] do, or that is something you at least need to
[01:23.760 -> 01:29.600] explore, because I know that it's something that's going to stretch me, it's going to
[01:29.600 -> 01:32.400] make me uncomfortable, and that is a good thing.
[01:32.400 -> 01:38.400] That's the kind of conversation you can expect from the chat we had with Steph Reid here
[01:38.400 -> 01:43.200] on High Performance. So Steph is an incredible Paralympic athlete, but the fact that she
[01:43.200 -> 01:49.640] competes at the highest level is only a very small part of her story. You're going to hear what I must be honest
[01:49.640 -> 01:54.440] is a very emotional and incredibly moving story from someone who talks about the trauma
[01:54.440 -> 01:58.160] of an accident that completely changed her life, the way that her parents dealt with
[01:58.160 -> 02:03.720] it and the things that they did to make her realize that her life wasn't over. Nurse Claudette
[02:03.720 -> 02:08.160] we speak about, and we move to tears talking about what she did for Steph.
[02:08.160 -> 02:12.480] The way that her classmates reacted when she walked back into the classroom with a prosthetic leg,
[02:12.480 -> 02:15.600] all the way through to the power of life being a team sport.
[02:15.600 -> 02:16.960] How she chooses her coaches,
[02:16.960 -> 02:18.960] why she's constantly learning,
[02:18.960 -> 02:23.600] why you have to become comfortable and almost excited about self-doubt,
[02:23.600 -> 02:27.640] and the fact that the best coaches on the planet are selfless coaches
[02:27.960 -> 02:32.620] You're about to walk into the mind of someone who has lived a traumatic yet
[02:32.880 -> 02:39.360] Incredibly rewarding life and you're gonna have a seemingly honest account of what life is like inside her elite
[02:39.640 -> 02:45.760] Sporting environment, so please join me in welcoming Steph Reid to the High Performance Podcast.
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[05:34.080 -> 05:37.760] Well Steph, thank you very much for joining us. It's my pleasure, I'm really
[05:37.760 -> 05:42.040] excited for this. What represents high performance to you? For me, high
[05:42.040 -> 05:47.560] performance is doing your craft in such a way that it
[05:47.560 -> 05:52.940] captures the imagination and the interest of people around you because it is so fun
[05:52.940 -> 05:58.840] and it is clever and it is disciplined and it is excellent and it is joyful and there's
[05:58.840 -> 06:04.920] total commitment and that is everything body, mind, soul, time and money. Now I think some
[06:04.920 -> 06:07.260] people will hear that and say well surely you can only be a
[06:07.780 -> 06:11.980] Like that with one thing in your life. You can only excel at one thing. I look at your CV
[06:11.980 -> 06:20.100] You're a world record-breaking long jumper qualified biochemist actor broadcaster model celebrity MasterChef finalist semi-finalist in dancing on ice
[06:20.700 -> 06:29.280] Vice-president of UK athletics, which is almost unheard of for an athlete. You've found time to be awarded an MBE, you do TED Talks, you've met the Pope.
[06:29.280 -> 06:33.800] So do you apply that mindset that you mentioned at the top to all of those
[06:33.800 -> 06:37.800] different areas? And if you do, how on earth do you manage it? Because many
[06:37.800 -> 06:42.520] people would love an answer. That's a great point and yes I do. And as you
[06:42.520 -> 06:48.080] read it off it's important to note that there were blocks of time dedicated to each of those things,
[06:48.080 -> 06:50.580] because it's not like I'm doing all of those things
[06:50.580 -> 06:51.420] all the time.
[06:51.420 -> 06:53.480] And equally, I think what I've learned
[06:53.480 -> 06:55.780] as my career has gone on,
[06:55.780 -> 06:57.480] sometimes you'll be asked to do something,
[06:57.480 -> 06:58.920] and initially you want to say no,
[06:58.920 -> 06:59.820] because you're just like,
[06:59.820 -> 07:01.860] I have absolutely no business being there.
[07:01.860 -> 07:03.000] But then you think about it,
[07:03.000 -> 07:07.280] I think actually I have a skillset that can transfer in this way.
[07:07.280 -> 07:10.100] And even though it's a bit unusual, actually,
[07:10.300 -> 07:11.540] that could be a huge benefit to me.
[07:11.940 -> 07:14.520] Anytime I agree to do something, I am in a
[07:14.520 -> 07:15.260] hundred percent.
[07:15.620 -> 07:18.060] And if I don't feel like I can do that, then
[07:18.100 -> 07:19.900] I'll have to say no and move on.
[07:19.900 -> 07:22.180] But I think that has been one of the keys, just
[07:22.180 -> 07:28.100] saying yes and just trying and not being phased the first time you get something wrong or you fail.
[07:28.100 -> 07:29.100] How?
[07:29.100 -> 07:33.500] You have to find a way to be really okay with looking foolish.
[07:33.500 -> 07:37.300] And you kind of just have to leave your pride at the door.
[07:37.300 -> 07:39.900] Be okay with being the person that asks the stupid questions,
[07:39.900 -> 07:42.600] and not caring in that moment how silly you look,
[07:42.600 -> 07:44.400] but seeing in the future,
[07:44.400 -> 07:45.460] you know, two days from now,
[07:45.460 -> 07:47.600] I'm gonna look really smart when I get this right.
[07:47.600 -> 07:50.160] Honestly, I experienced this all the time.
[07:50.160 -> 07:54.860] My first foray into the world of being a board member
[07:54.860 -> 07:56.800] and an administration in sports.
[07:56.800 -> 07:59.100] And I was so thankful for this moment.
[07:59.100 -> 08:00.700] I had never been in the corporate world.
[08:00.700 -> 08:03.100] I didn't quite know how these email chains work
[08:03.100 -> 08:04.740] or who's appropriate to speak to.
[08:04.740 -> 08:08.960] And I had quite a strong opinion about something that someone did, and I thought it was going to
[08:08.960 -> 08:14.720] be very helpful to share it with her. And I shared it, and I got a very strong email from her boss
[08:14.720 -> 08:19.680] basically telling me that, you do not speak to my, the people that work for me that way,
[08:19.680 -> 08:25.920] you come to me and I will relay the message. And that was really, I mean, I was so embarrassed. My face just
[08:25.920 -> 08:30.240] flared up red, and I went to my husband like, Brent, I'm going to have to quit. Like, I completely
[08:30.240 -> 08:35.600] messed up. I got this completely wrong. And it was just like, ugh, what do you do? And then we ended
[08:35.600 -> 08:40.560] up having a face-to-face meeting a week later, and do you know what I learned? I learned a lesson,
[08:40.560 -> 08:45.760] and it was done. He wasn't angry at me, and I apologized, and we moved on, and it was done. He wasn't angry at me and I apologized and we moved on. And it was okay.
[08:45.760 -> 08:47.000] And I thought, do you know what?
[08:47.000 -> 08:48.560] That was a great lesson to learn.
[08:48.560 -> 08:50.200] I had no other way of learning it.
[08:50.200 -> 08:51.720] Why was I going to beat myself up about it?
[08:51.720 -> 08:53.800] But now that I have learned it, commit to that.
[08:53.800 -> 08:55.120] And that is how you treat people going forward.
[08:55.120 -> 08:56.440] So it was a great lesson in management
[08:56.440 -> 08:58.280] and I was really thankful for it.
[08:58.280 -> 09:00.320] So I see one of your superpower stuff
[09:00.320 -> 09:03.120] as being your adaptability,
[09:03.120 -> 09:06.640] but I'm interested in where that came from, your origins
[09:06.640 -> 09:12.240] of, I know we were speaking off the mic before around your parents sort of taught you to
[09:12.240 -> 09:17.560] adapt and to be able to deal with whatever life throws at you from a young age. Would
[09:17.560 -> 09:19.520] you just tell us a little bit about your story?
[09:19.520 -> 09:23.640] Sure. As you can probably tell from my accent, it's a little bit unusual. And I guess even
[09:23.640 -> 09:26.160] as you say that, it really did just kind of start with
[09:26.960 -> 09:30.400] the example of my parents. Their dream was to travel the world.
[09:30.400 -> 09:33.680] And they did it, and they took us kids with them.
[09:33.680 -> 09:37.040] And so I was actually born in New Zealand. My dad is Scottish, my mom's English.
[09:37.040 -> 09:39.120] And we traveled around a little bit after that.
[09:39.120 -> 09:42.560] We lived in Hawaii for a year, and then my dad got a job in Toronto.
[09:42.560 -> 09:46.560] So I grew up primarily in Toronto. I went to school in Canada, then met my husband
[09:46.560 -> 09:49.200] who was from Quebec, the French part of Canada,
[09:49.200 -> 09:51.560] but he actually got a sports scholarship to America
[09:51.560 -> 09:54.080] in Texas, and so I spent four years in Dallas,
[09:54.080 -> 09:55.520] all over coming back to the UK.
[09:55.520 -> 09:57.840] So all that to say, my life has,
[09:57.840 -> 09:59.640] I've kind of felt like a chameleon my whole life,
[09:59.640 -> 10:02.360] just because sometimes I meet friends who have,
[10:02.360 -> 10:03.800] they've lived in the same village,
[10:03.800 -> 10:06.660] the same community their whole life, and you look at what they have and it's amazing.
[10:06.660 -> 10:12.020] You see those roots and you see those relationships and that real sense of,
[10:12.020 -> 10:13.720] this is where I belong.
[10:13.720 -> 10:16.860] Whereas for me, I've never had it in that traditional sense.
[10:16.860 -> 10:21.400] It's always been, wherever I am, I'm here to learn, I'm here to take the best of what I can,
[10:21.400 -> 10:23.860] share what I can, and that's kind of become home.
[10:23.860 -> 10:27.200] So I think maybe that's where the adaptability came from.
[10:27.200 -> 10:29.800] You know, starting school, different places so many times,
[10:29.800 -> 10:31.600] constantly having to make friends.
[10:31.600 -> 10:33.200] I guess you just kind of get used to it.
[10:33.200 -> 10:36.000] So when you look at that in contrast with these friends
[10:36.000 -> 10:40.800] that do have maybe a more stable or a deeper-rooted upbringing,
[10:40.800 -> 10:45.560] what benefits do you feel that your experience that your parents gave you
[10:45.560 -> 10:48.600] has served you well throughout the rest of your life?
[10:48.600 -> 10:52.520] I do sometimes look with envy at people who have those deep roots, because I think there's
[10:52.520 -> 10:54.040] benefits to both.
[10:54.040 -> 10:58.760] But you know, I love the life that I've had, I've loved what they've taught me.
[10:58.760 -> 11:03.900] I guess it comes down to that idea that you chase what you want.
[11:03.900 -> 11:05.680] Things are never going to surface in your lap, and
[11:06.240 -> 11:10.800] the world is not going to change for you, often you don't have an option, so you have to change
[11:10.800 -> 11:15.680] for it. And you can sit back and think, oh, things are really unfair and really hard,
[11:15.680 -> 11:21.440] but ultimately, the only thing I can change is me, my actions, what I do, my attitude. And so,
[11:21.440 -> 11:26.380] I think that's what has changed me. You go into these new situations, people are not going to accommodate you.
[11:26.380 -> 11:29.440] You need to find a way to take all of yourself
[11:29.440 -> 11:31.320] and fit into that situation.
[11:31.320 -> 11:33.880] And I am, I mean, and watching them,
[11:33.880 -> 11:37.400] they, for most of my life, were business owners
[11:37.400 -> 11:40.720] and entrepreneurs, and you get a brilliant lesson
[11:40.720 -> 11:43.440] in what it looks like to experience wild success
[11:43.440 -> 11:44.320] and wild failure.
[11:44.320 -> 11:48.680] You know, they made a lot of money, they lost a lot of money, and they always managed to
[11:48.680 -> 11:51.880] come back with optimism.
[11:51.880 -> 11:54.080] And I guess that was the example that was set for me.
[11:54.080 -> 11:56.880] There's always room for a comeback.
[11:56.880 -> 11:57.680] Love it.
[11:57.680 -> 12:01.480] It reminds me of a phrase we had as a kid growing up in my family, which was,
[12:01.480 -> 12:02.600] roots and wings.
[12:02.600 -> 12:07.000] My parents would say to us, we've got to give you roots and wings, you know, the roots where you know this is home and
[12:07.000 -> 12:10.760] the wings to fly the world and do loads of exciting stuff. And we've sort of adapted
[12:10.760 -> 12:14.000] it a bit with our children where we say to them, we'll always leave a light on. There's
[12:14.000 -> 12:17.800] always a place here you can come back to whatever goes on in your life, you can come back here,
[12:17.800 -> 12:23.080] the light is on, non-judgmental. And I think people often look at someone like you with
[12:23.080 -> 12:28.640] all the travelling that you did and think, think well How could you feel like there was a light on how did you feel the roots when you were moving around?
[12:28.640 -> 12:32.240] but like home is not a place right home is a feeling and
[12:32.720 -> 12:37.880] It's like your parents gave you the feeling of home no matter where you were no matter what you were doing
[12:37.880 -> 12:44.680] and I think that if we learn one thing from what you've said so far is the importance of giving people the
[12:46.560 -> 12:51.880] thing from what you've said so far is the importance of giving people the strength and that kind of like stability if there is a home for you all the time, which then I think
[12:51.880 -> 12:54.920] allows you to do the brave things that you've spent your whole life doing.
[12:54.920 -> 13:00.440] Yeah, my parents were so, I knew, even throughout my whole career, no matter what I was achieving,
[13:00.440 -> 13:06.460] I knew deep down the only thing my mum cared about was whether or not I was enjoying myself
[13:06.460 -> 13:10.440] to the point where we had a conversation before 2012
[13:10.440 -> 13:12.840] and I wasn't doing very well.
[13:12.840 -> 13:14.860] And it's hard, it's your home Paralympics
[13:14.860 -> 13:15.940] and you wanna do well.
[13:15.940 -> 13:17.900] And I was in a four month slump
[13:17.900 -> 13:19.860] and the Paralympics were coming up
[13:19.860 -> 13:23.420] and I'd had a competition and I called my mom
[13:23.420 -> 13:24.860] and she's like, how are you?
[13:24.860 -> 13:25.760] I just burst into tears.
[13:26.400 -> 13:29.120] And it was just one of those moments where I just did not know.
[13:29.120 -> 13:30.960] I was doing everything I could, it wasn't working out.
[13:30.960 -> 13:32.080] What is the way forward?
[13:32.800 -> 13:35.760] What she said to me was, well, why don't you just quit?
[13:37.040 -> 13:38.320] And I was like, well, what do you mean, just quit?
[13:38.320 -> 13:40.480] She said, well, why don't you just quit?
[13:40.480 -> 13:43.920] We're already proud of you and this clearly isn't making you happy.
[13:43.920 -> 13:48.040] Why don't we just book a trip to the Caribbean during the Paralympics?
[13:48.040 -> 13:50.320] You know, you don't have to do this."
[13:50.320 -> 13:53.000] And I don't think she was actually encouraging me to quit.
[13:53.000 -> 13:55.560] The point was, Stephanie, you are not a victim in this.
[13:55.560 -> 13:57.220] You know, you have chosen this.
[13:57.220 -> 14:00.280] You can also un-choose it, but what do you want?
[14:00.280 -> 14:03.480] And I realized in that moment, I want to try.
[14:03.480 -> 14:04.760] And I was very aware of the situation.
[14:04.760 -> 14:06.560] I was very aware it was not going well,
[14:06.560 -> 14:08.400] I was very aware the head coach was showing up
[14:08.400 -> 14:09.920] at every single practice I had,
[14:09.920 -> 14:11.680] because he had his doubts and he wanted to know
[14:11.680 -> 14:13.280] what is going on here.
[14:13.280 -> 14:14.480] And I thought, do you know what?
[14:14.480 -> 14:18.080] In spite of all that, I don't want to walk away from this
[14:18.080 -> 14:19.600] not knowing if I could have turned it around.
[14:19.600 -> 14:23.120] If I can't, great, at least I know, but I want to try.
[14:23.680 -> 14:25.360] And you're right, I have that freedom,
[14:25.360 -> 14:27.240] because I know ultimately I have a family
[14:27.240 -> 14:30.000] I can go back to that doesn't care about that stuff.
[14:30.000 -> 14:32.240] I love that because it's so powerful,
[14:32.240 -> 14:35.080] but it resonates with so many of our other guests as well,
[14:35.080 -> 14:38.200] Steph, around this idea of you're not a victim,
[14:38.200 -> 14:41.800] that you say that you can impose your will on this.
[14:41.800 -> 14:46.440] And that leads me to want to explore you at 16 years of age
[14:46.440 -> 14:48.280] when your life does change.
[14:48.280 -> 14:50.300] I'll ask you about the incident around it,
[14:50.300 -> 14:52.800] but from what I understand,
[14:52.800 -> 14:57.240] that would have been very easy to assume a victim mindset
[14:57.240 -> 14:59.120] based on what happened to you.
[14:59.120 -> 14:59.960] Yeah.
[14:59.960 -> 15:01.920] Would you tell us a little bit about it?
[15:01.920 -> 15:02.740] Yeah.
[15:02.740 -> 15:04.400] I mean, it was, you know,
[15:04.400 -> 15:05.320] you kind of have those moments in life that are the turning points and that, you know, it's almost was, you know, you kind of have those moments in
[15:05.320 -> 15:08.040] life that are the turning points and that, you know, it's almost like, you know, you
[15:08.040 -> 15:14.400] talk about AD and BC. That was like the Steph with two legs versus Steph with one and a
[15:14.400 -> 15:23.560] half. I mean, I grew up absolutely loving sports. I did everything I could from, you
[15:23.560 -> 15:26.240] know, basketball, volleyball, tennis, swimming, and then when
[15:26.240 -> 15:29.880] I was 13, I was introduced to rugby.
[15:29.880 -> 15:30.880] Fell in love.
[15:30.880 -> 15:32.800] I was going to be an international rugby superstar.
[15:32.800 -> 15:35.040] That's what I wanted to do.
[15:35.040 -> 15:37.760] And things were looking really good, actually.
[15:37.760 -> 15:42.320] I was quite small, but I played scrum half, but I caught the eye of some of the national
[15:42.320 -> 15:44.320] coaches and there were a few discussions.
[15:44.320 -> 15:48.800] I was still too small to train with them, with the national team, but I thought, this
[15:48.800 -> 15:51.800] actually has a chance at coming true.
[15:51.800 -> 15:59.120] And then just before my 16th birthday, everything changed in a way that it's not even something
[15:59.120 -> 16:00.820] that ever crossed my mind.
[16:00.820 -> 16:04.640] I was up at a friend's cottage for, it was a bank holiday weekend, and we were having
[16:04.640 -> 16:06.200] a great time. They had a beautiful cottage on a lake, they had a
[16:06.200 -> 16:08.520] motorboat and one of the things that we had done is
[16:08.960 -> 16:12.560] we went tubing and that's where you have a rubber
[16:12.560 -> 16:14.960] inner tube that you attach to the back of a boat.
[16:15.600 -> 16:17.600] I mean, I kind of call it like lazy water skiing,
[16:17.640 -> 16:18.560] but you know, you're reclining.
[16:19.080 -> 16:21.440] And the whole point is that, you know, the
[16:21.440 -> 16:23.360] driver's going fast enough, he's taking turns,
[16:23.360 -> 16:25.960] you're trying to hang on for dear life, he's
[16:25.960 -> 16:27.920] trying to flip you off and you often get
[16:27.920 -> 16:29.440] flipped off and you wait in the water and
[16:29.440 -> 16:30.680] then they come back, you climb back on the
[16:30.680 -> 16:31.800] tube and you doodle again.
[16:32.960 -> 16:37.880] And for whatever reason, this one time I had
[16:37.880 -> 16:40.480] fallen off the tube and there was a
[16:40.520 -> 16:43.480] miscommunication between the spotter and the
[16:43.480 -> 16:45.960] driver, you know, it's a big boat. Um, and, and so you have to have both.
[16:46.640 -> 16:51.960] And for whatever reason, the driver had no idea that I was in the water
[16:52.160 -> 16:54.160] waiting to get picked back up.
[16:54.520 -> 16:59.520] So I, I saw the boat coming and initially I didn't think much of it.
[16:59.520 -> 17:04.960] And then I just realized this is coming way too fast and, you know, he doesn't
[17:04.960 -> 17:06.260] see me and that is when your body too fast and, you know, he doesn't
[17:06.260 -> 17:11.960] see me and that is when your body just switches into survival mode and all I'm
[17:11.960 -> 17:15.300] thinking is Stephanie, you have got to miss those propellers.
[17:16.160 -> 17:19.660] And you know, it was a decent summer and I thought actually I don't have enough
[17:19.660 -> 17:23.920] time to swim to either side, I will still get caught in the toe and pulled in.
[17:24.240 -> 17:26.200] And I thought my best bet right now is to surface dive below the water.
[17:26.480 -> 17:29.240] I'll get as, you know, as far below as I can, the boat will pass over top.
[17:29.280 -> 17:29.720] I'll hold my breath.
[17:29.720 -> 17:30.280] It's going to be fine.
[17:31.120 -> 17:33.200] Um, which was, you know, it was a good plan.
[17:33.840 -> 17:39.320] I just forgot that I had a life jacket on and, you know, you have all the zips and
[17:39.320 -> 17:41.360] the clips and I just, I couldn't get under.
[17:42.080 -> 17:44.520] And that was the moment I just thought that's it.
[17:44.560 -> 17:45.360] Like, there's actually nothingI couldn't get under. And that was the moment I just thought,
[17:45.360 -> 17:51.680] that's it. Like, there's actually nothing I can do right now except for hope for the best.
[17:51.680 -> 18:00.640] It felt like forever under—and I just remember darkness, and at some point just feeling really
[18:00.640 -> 18:07.000] out of breath and just desperately trying to figure out which way is up. Because I thought, actually, you're just going to suffocate at this point.
[18:07.000 -> 18:09.000] And I surfaced again.
[18:09.000 -> 18:16.000] And my first thought was just, you are so lucky to resurface.
[18:16.000 -> 18:21.000] And not really knowing or understanding the extent of what happened.
[18:21.000 -> 18:27.560] And unfortunately, I did get caught in the propellers and it caught my lower
[18:27.560 -> 18:29.280] back and my right leg.
[18:30.080 -> 18:35.000] And we were lucky in that there was one of my friends with a lifeguard, he came
[18:35.000 -> 18:38.000] out and he grabbed me, but there was definitely that moment.
[18:38.080 -> 18:41.920] I mean, I knew how bad it was, the risk of bleeding out and you know, we're in
[18:41.920 -> 18:44.480] the middle of nowhere and I needed a blood transfusion and just that
[18:44.480 -> 18:49.040] realization, actually, this could be it.
[18:49.040 -> 18:52.560] The good news is we made it to the hospital,
[18:52.560 -> 18:56.680] and I ended up with one of the most brilliant surgeons
[18:56.680 -> 19:01.320] in Canada, who cut his vacation short to come and see to me.
[19:01.320 -> 19:03.960] And he saved my life.
[19:03.960 -> 19:06.160] They managed to find a way to patch up my back,
[19:06.160 -> 19:10.640] which wasn't absolute. I mean, it was miraculous, the way that the propeller,
[19:11.200 -> 19:16.640] it was a very, very deep wound that for some reason just grazed the top of my spine,
[19:16.640 -> 19:19.600] and then was very, very deep again on either side, and you just think, this is nuts.
[19:20.240 -> 19:24.880] But what they couldn't do was save all of my leg, and they had to amputate my foot
[19:26.580 -> 19:26.860] just above the ankle
[19:29.200 -> 19:29.960] and you've already you know spoken about how
[19:32.500 -> 19:33.160] much of an amazing role your parents played in your life and
[19:36.020 -> 19:36.240] What what was the first thing that they said to you when?
[19:41.420 -> 19:42.560] When they got to the hospital and they realized what happened to their their daughter. It was actually
[19:44.000 -> 19:48.160] my mum who was the one who came in to tell me the news. And it was really
[19:48.160 -> 19:53.280] confusing because I remember getting out of surgery and being told it was great,
[19:53.280 -> 19:57.440] it went really well, like it was the best possible scenario. And then it was my mom
[19:57.440 -> 20:08.440] came in and she was the one that had to say, you know, I'm so sorry. They did everything they could, but they were unable to save all of your leg, and they had to amputate.
[20:08.440 -> 20:13.960] That was just absolutely devastating.
[20:13.960 -> 20:19.040] I remember just as best as I could turning over,
[20:19.040 -> 20:20.680] and just because I was just crying,
[20:20.680 -> 20:28.100] and all you think about is just life is never going to look the same again.
[20:28.100 -> 20:31.560] And actually I'm not sure right now I want that life or I want to know what it looks
[20:31.560 -> 20:32.560] like.
[20:32.560 -> 20:38.720] So you described yourself earlier as a chameleon, you know, your experiences of going into different
[20:38.720 -> 20:41.700] schools and different countries.
[20:41.700 -> 20:47.960] How did you reconcile yourself with being able to go into school and to
[20:47.960 -> 20:53.320] do all the things that a 16 year old girl should do now that you've having to
[20:53.320 -> 20:59.320] process the fact that you've had this amputation? It was one of the hardest
[20:59.320 -> 21:08.920] things and one of the hardest like mind shifts I've ever had to do. And the truth was, I was not in a good place afterwards.
[21:09.480 -> 21:16.080] It was quite dark, and it was ugly, and I was angry, and I was in pain.
[21:16.720 -> 21:24.040] And you are just railing against the reality of what it is, but you can't.
[21:24.040 -> 21:27.860] I remember just thinking, if I just sleep long enough,
[21:27.860 -> 21:30.620] at some point I will wake up and realize this is just
[21:30.620 -> 21:31.940] a really bad dream.
[21:31.940 -> 21:33.860] And that's kind of what you're clinging onto.
[21:33.860 -> 21:38.740] And that was the existence for those seven days.
[21:38.740 -> 21:42.420] And I didn't want to see anyone.
[21:42.420 -> 21:44.180] I didn't want any visitors.
[21:44.180 -> 21:45.800] I wasn't eating.
[21:45.800 -> 21:50.040] To be honest, there were parts of me that had just stopped caring.
[21:50.040 -> 21:51.600] I did not want to be there.
[21:51.600 -> 21:53.240] I did not want to be experiencing this.
[21:53.240 -> 21:57.520] I was not excited about anything else that was to come.
[21:57.520 -> 21:59.640] And I just wasn't a nice person.
[21:59.640 -> 22:02.320] I remember, my mom was amazing.
[22:02.320 -> 22:08.320] She literally slept on a wooden chair for three weeks
[22:09.880 -> 22:11.760] because she didn't ever want me to feel
[22:11.760 -> 22:13.280] like I was alone in that.
[22:13.280 -> 22:16.240] And she would just do everything she could
[22:16.240 -> 22:17.060] to make me comfortable.
[22:17.060 -> 22:21.680] I remember one day she was bringing my toothbrush over to me.
[22:21.680 -> 22:23.120] I remember yelling at her.
[22:23.120 -> 22:25.340] I mean yelling at her because she brought yelling at her, because she brought me my
[22:25.340 -> 22:27.940] toothpaste, my toothbrush with the toothpaste
[22:27.940 -> 22:30.540] all in one big clump, not evenly spread.
[22:30.540 -> 22:31.340] Oh, how perfect.
[22:31.340 -> 22:33.480] Over the head, and I just think, Stephanie,
[22:33.480 -> 22:34.240] what were you thinking?
[22:34.240 -> 22:36.680] And I yelled at her and you know, she didn't
[22:36.680 -> 22:39.140] even react, I'm fairly certain now looking
[22:39.140 -> 22:40.440] back, you know, she then stepped out of the
[22:40.440 -> 22:42.640] room and cried because she knew that's not
[22:42.640 -> 22:44.180] her daughter and she knew what I was going
[22:44.180 -> 22:47.200] through, but that's where I was, and it was an ugly place.
[22:47.200 -> 22:50.260] And I had an amazing moment.
[22:50.260 -> 22:53.020] Seven days after the accident, I sometimes think, my goodness,
[22:53.020 -> 22:55.520] who would I be if this hadn't have happened?
[22:55.520 -> 22:58.420] It was a Monday morning, seven days after the accident initially happened,
[22:58.420 -> 23:01.620] and a nurse claudette walked into the room.
[23:01.620 -> 23:06.160] And she had breakfast, and I looked at her, and I just said,
[23:06.160 -> 23:08.840] I don't feel like eating today.
[23:08.840 -> 23:12.680] And kind of just closed my eyes, waiting for her to get the hint
[23:12.680 -> 23:13.720] and just go away.
[23:13.720 -> 23:14.640] Just leave me be.
[23:14.640 -> 23:17.160] Please, just let me be here and wallow.
[23:17.160 -> 23:19.480] That is what I want to do today.
[23:19.480 -> 23:21.040] I kind of opened my eyes a little bit
[23:21.040 -> 23:22.400] to see if she had gone.
[23:22.400 -> 23:24.240] And instead, she was right there.
[23:24.240 -> 23:29.720] And she looked me straight in the eye and said, very kindly, but very firmly,
[23:30.480 -> 23:31.120] it's time.
[23:32.800 -> 23:37.160] It is time to get up and do something.
[23:37.960 -> 23:39.120] Others have done it.
[23:39.640 -> 23:40.520] You can do it too.
[23:42.680 -> 23:47.000] And that was actually quite shocking because for seven days, everybody had pretty much just felt
[23:47.000 -> 23:49.640] sorry for me and let me get away with whatever I
[23:49.640 -> 23:50.040] wanted.
[23:50.040 -> 23:52.440] And she was the first person to walk into that
[23:52.440 -> 23:56.160] room and actually expect something better than
[23:56.160 -> 23:56.800] moping.
[23:57.200 -> 23:58.800] She was not accepting the petty party.
[23:59.400 -> 24:01.240] And initially, I mean, I was shocked.
[24:01.240 -> 24:03.880] I thought, you know, I am sick and I am sad and I
[24:03.880 -> 24:05.920] have earned this. You know, I mean, I was shocked. I thought, I am sick and I am sad and I have
[24:06.380 -> 24:07.140] earned this.
[24:07.140 -> 24:10.060] You know, I have earned the right to sit here
[24:10.060 -> 24:11.660] and feel miserable and have everyone else feel
[24:11.660 -> 24:12.300] sorry for me.
[24:13.180 -> 24:14.800] But she was also the first person who came in
[24:14.800 -> 24:17.460] and challenged me, and that actually felt
[24:17.460 -> 24:18.020] really good.
[24:18.580 -> 24:20.460] I've always been someone who responded to a
[24:20.460 -> 24:20.860] challenge.
[24:20.860 -> 24:22.740] I loved, that's what I loved about sport,
[24:22.740 -> 24:31.680] that's what I loved about competition. And she appealed to that. And that morning after she left, I ate my breakfast,
[24:32.800 -> 24:37.680] and I showered, and something just shifted. And you know, I didn't know what life was going to
[24:37.680 -> 24:42.800] look like. I still wasn't terribly excited about it, but I just thought, I am going to fight.
[24:43.440 -> 24:49.000] No matter what life is going to look like, I will make make the best of it and that interaction changed the course of my life
[24:49.200 -> 24:53.380] There's Claudette nurse Claudette. I mean we'll get on to talking about your career
[24:53.960 -> 25:00.000] After this moment that you've decided to fight, but how often have you ever gone back to nurse Claudette's mantra?
[25:00.040 -> 25:02.040] I mean minded yourself of it. I
[25:02.960 -> 25:06.660] Think it's almost just it's instinctual now, it's in there.
[25:06.660 -> 25:12.220] That moment that you want to quit, it is just, well, actually, just hang on, because something
[25:12.220 -> 25:15.700] else could be around the corner, and if you quit now, you won't know.
[25:15.700 -> 25:19.020] And even if something doesn't happen, and even if this really is just the end of the
[25:19.020 -> 25:20.660] road, well, at least you know.
[25:20.660 -> 25:23.340] I don't ever want to be left wondering.
[25:23.340 -> 25:25.600] I mean, I love my life.
[25:25.600 -> 25:28.960] It looks nothing like I thought it was going to look like as a 15-year-old, and honestly,
[25:28.960 -> 25:30.360] it's so much better.
[25:30.360 -> 25:33.480] So many aspects of your life you cannot script.
[25:33.480 -> 25:37.320] You have to kind of just show up, and the opportunities come, and you have to take them.
[25:37.320 -> 25:40.880] And some people will look at that resume and think, oh, so what was your game plan?
[25:40.880 -> 25:41.880] What did you do?
[25:41.880 -> 25:45.080] And I'm like, honestly, there really wasn't a strategy other than
[25:45.080 -> 25:47.280] I am just gonna keep showing up and doing my best
[25:47.280 -> 25:48.640] and see where it goes.
[25:48.640 -> 25:50.720] Brilliant, that plays so nicely into,
[25:50.720 -> 25:54.000] we've, after over 150 of these conversations,
[25:54.000 -> 25:55.680] we've defined high performance as
[25:55.680 -> 25:59.040] do the best you can where you are with what you've got.
[25:59.040 -> 26:01.260] And it sounds to me like you just decided in that moment
[26:01.260 -> 26:04.920] to do the best you could where you were with what you had.
[26:04.920 -> 26:06.520] What year was that accident?
[26:06.520 -> 26:07.600] 2000.
[26:07.600 -> 26:10.360] So we're 22 years on from that now.
[26:10.360 -> 26:13.680] If you had your life all over again, sitting here today,
[26:13.680 -> 26:15.860] would you have not gone on the boat that day?
[26:15.860 -> 26:18.200] Or has it given you so much
[26:18.200 -> 26:19.360] that you never thought you would have
[26:19.360 -> 26:22.680] that you actually would not want to change the course
[26:22.680 -> 26:24.720] that your life has taken?
[26:24.720 -> 26:30.320] I mean, I know the answer everyone expects is, oh no, I would change nothing. But I mean,
[26:30.320 -> 26:33.920] like the reality is disability is really hard. You know, I'm not going to sugarcoat it.
[26:33.920 -> 26:39.520] Prosthetic legs are amazing and I love them. It does not compare to a real foot. And would I
[26:39.520 -> 26:47.360] love to have life with two feet again? Yes, I would. But equally, I love who I am right now. And that's
[26:47.360 -> 26:51.120] actually taken a long time to be able to say that, you know, I really like, I really love who I am.
[26:51.680 -> 27:00.160] And the thing is, I would not be me without that really, really difficult period. It was hard. It
[27:00.160 -> 27:06.700] is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but it's the hard things in life that make you.
[27:06.700 -> 27:10.400] And I would not exchange that for anything.
[27:10.400 -> 27:12.400] So, tell us about those hard things,
[27:12.400 -> 27:16.600] because I'm really intrigued about that immediate period afterwards.
[27:16.600 -> 27:21.700] Because I think, maybe today, there's a bit more tolerance for differences,
[27:21.700 -> 27:25.000] but at 16 years of age going into school,
[27:25.540 -> 27:27.880] kindness, tolerance, understanding,
[27:27.880 -> 27:32.640] isn't necessarily at the forefront of young people's minds.
[27:32.640 -> 27:35.000] So what was it like when you first go back into school
[27:35.000 -> 27:37.560] then, because they've known you before the accident
[27:37.560 -> 27:40.360] and now they're having to adjust to you coming in.
[27:40.360 -> 27:44.800] I was so fortunate in that I had so, so much support
[27:44.800 -> 27:45.120] from school. I sometimes get parents often that will email so, so much support from school.
[27:45.120 -> 27:48.520] I sometimes get parents often that will email me about bullying,
[27:48.520 -> 27:51.480] and I'm just like, unfortunately, it just wasn't something
[27:51.480 -> 27:54.000] that I ever experienced.
[27:54.000 -> 27:57.320] It was hard going back for me personally,
[27:57.320 -> 28:02.160] because so much of my identity was wrapped up in being an athlete.
[28:02.160 -> 28:06.240] And I remember my biggest fear going back and just thinking,
[28:06.240 -> 28:10.840] honestly, I have nothing to offer anymore.
[28:10.840 -> 28:12.440] I can't score tries.
[28:12.440 -> 28:15.160] I can't score goals.
[28:15.160 -> 28:16.720] I'm tired all the time.
[28:16.720 -> 28:18.880] I'm so slow moving around.
[28:18.880 -> 28:21.080] I'm just going to be a drag and a drain on anyone.
[28:21.080 -> 28:23.680] That was my biggest fear, that I was going to get back there
[28:23.680 -> 28:24.720] and just no one was going to like me,
[28:24.720 -> 28:25.160] no one was going to want to hang out with me, nobody was going to want to deal with my biggest fear, that I was going to get back there and just no one was going to like me, no one was going
[28:25.160 -> 28:27.040] to want to hang out with me, nobody was going to want to deal
[28:27.040 -> 28:29.760] with all this extra baggage that I was now carrying.
[28:29.760 -> 28:32.160] And it just could not have been further from the truth.
[28:32.160 -> 28:35.080] After an amputation, you can't get fitted with a leg
[28:35.080 -> 28:38.240] immediately because the skin has to heal,
[28:38.240 -> 28:39.400] it's going to have to tolerate all sorts
[28:39.400 -> 28:40.720] of different pressures.
[28:40.720 -> 28:43.480] And so I remember it was a Friday morning,
[28:43.480 -> 28:45.800] it was the day I was going to get my first leg.
[28:45.800 -> 28:49.880] And I didn't really tell anyone because I'm apprehensive of it.
[28:49.880 -> 28:52.480] And it's a new thing, and what if it doesn't go well?
[28:52.480 -> 28:55.040] I'm pinning a lot of hope on this being great and my life
[28:55.040 -> 28:56.400] getting back to normal.
[28:56.400 -> 29:01.120] And I got the leg, and because it was a Friday morning,
[29:01.120 -> 29:02.840] I was walking into an assembly.
[29:02.840 -> 29:04.160] And there were two entrances.
[29:04.160 -> 29:07.180] I could either go in the front, which meant I had to walk by the stage, and everybody would see me.
[29:07.180 -> 29:10.840] I thought, no, I'm going to go around, I'm just going to go in the back,
[29:10.840 -> 29:14.440] take a little seat at the back, and hopefully nobody sees me.
[29:14.440 -> 29:20.240] And I got about, I don't know, two steps through the door before the people in the back row turned around,
[29:20.240 -> 29:23.740] and it was the first time anyone had seen me with a leg again.
[29:23.740 -> 29:26.940] And everybody just stood up and started clapping.
[29:26.940 -> 29:27.440] Just because…
[29:27.440 -> 29:28.700] What a beautiful moment.
[29:28.700 -> 29:31.340] And that was just the realisation,
[29:31.340 -> 29:33.340] I am not, and I will never be alone in this.
[29:33.340 -> 29:35.900] Like, their joy at seeing me matched my own joy,
[29:35.900 -> 29:39.240] and that was the moment I realised they had lived this entire thing with me.
[29:39.240 -> 29:41.440] What a special bunch of kids.
[29:41.440 -> 29:44.440] Let's talk then about your adaptive mindset,
[29:44.440 -> 29:46.320] because there will be people
[29:46.320 -> 29:49.920] listening to this who are in a dark place, they're struggling, they haven't been through
[29:49.920 -> 29:53.420] the trauma that you've been through, but I really want them to hear what you're saying
[29:53.420 -> 29:59.080] and to understand how dark it was, how deep you were in that depression after your accident,
[29:59.080 -> 30:03.500] but then you found the tools to come out of it. So what were those tools that other people
[30:03.500 -> 30:06.640] can apply to their own lives when they're struggling?
[30:06.640 -> 30:11.760] The first thing that comes to mind, yeah, is Nurse Claudette. I think that as a human
[30:11.760 -> 30:15.680] being, I mean, she was, she must have been in her 50s or 60s, you know, this is a nurse,
[30:15.680 -> 30:19.940] she's seen everything. Nurses are amazing, aren't they? And she probably was the only
[30:19.940 -> 30:24.480] person in my life that could have said that to me. It's not something that probably a
[30:24.480 -> 30:25.400] family member or a close friend could have said that to me. It's not something that probably a family member or a close
[30:25.400 -> 30:26.080] friend could have said.
[30:26.080 -> 30:29.200] She had enough distance removed, enough wisdom
[30:29.200 -> 30:31.560] to read this situation right and know
[30:31.560 -> 30:34.120] that is what's going to light that spark in her.
[30:34.120 -> 30:37.200] And this is not like it was a one-and-done thing.
[30:37.200 -> 30:40.400] It is something that I've had to come back to in my life
[30:40.400 -> 30:42.400] several times.
[30:42.400 -> 30:46.960] Being a competitive athlete, things don't always go well. Actually,
[30:46.960 -> 30:52.120] they rarely go well. It was really funny. I was at an event in Nepal a while ago, and
[30:52.120 -> 30:55.880] bearing in mind there was a little bit of a language barrier, and I was introduced on
[30:55.880 -> 31:01.840] stage by this lovely gentleman who said, Steph Reed, who is a great winner. And I walked
[31:01.840 -> 31:08.440] down and I was laughing because I just thought, I mean, the truth is I've probably lost about 95% of the time in my career.
[31:08.440 -> 31:13.720] A far more statistically accurate description is Steph Reed, a great non-winner slash loser
[31:13.720 -> 31:16.020] slash eighth place finisher.
[31:16.020 -> 31:18.480] And so that is what you're dealing with constantly.
[31:18.480 -> 31:26.200] And the only way that I've found to prevent getting into that mindset of,
[31:26.200 -> 31:28.880] there's nothing I can do to change the situation,
[31:28.880 -> 31:31.040] was just talking with people.
[31:31.040 -> 31:32.840] I mean, some people will have sports likes,
[31:32.840 -> 31:34.300] some people have different things.
[31:34.300 -> 31:37.280] For me personally, someone in my career
[31:37.280 -> 31:40.440] who I would meet with once a week, and we would chat.
[31:40.440 -> 31:42.880] And I'm trying to think how Brian would describe himself.
[31:42.880 -> 31:45.200] He wasn't a sports psychologist.
[31:46.760 -> 31:50.240] He was more of a mentor. Actually on his business card, there's a picture of glasses at the bottom.
[31:50.520 -> 31:53.440] And the whole point is I will help you to see things through a different lens.
[31:53.720 -> 31:54.680] I was with Brian for a while.
[31:54.680 -> 31:59.000] I think the powerful thing about meeting with Brian is that he was not part of my
[31:59.000 -> 32:03.800] performance team and that he had absolutely no responsibility for my
[32:03.800 -> 32:04.280] performance.
[32:04.280 -> 32:06.360] He didn't work for British Athletics. He wasn't a coach in that sense.
[32:06.400 -> 32:09.560] His only concern was me.
[32:09.560 -> 32:11.280] How am I doing?
[32:11.680 -> 32:16.480] And because there was never any thing in terms of conflict of his
[32:16.480 -> 32:21.760] motives or his intents, I could be a hundred percent honest and vulnerable
[32:21.760 -> 32:24.960] and safe with him because the thing is nobody can help you unless you
[32:24.960 -> 32:27.500] give them the full picture.
[32:27.500 -> 32:30.840] If you paint a false picture for them of what they're expecting,
[32:30.840 -> 32:33.200] then the help that they're going to give you isn't going to be helpful.
[32:33.200 -> 32:38.440] And yeah, I think that's been one of the most powerful things that I've learned,
[32:38.440 -> 32:41.400] is we all have blind spots.
[32:41.400 -> 32:42.940] That's just how we're wired.
[32:42.940 -> 33:07.200] Be honest with the people around you, and that way they can give you the best help that they can. Advertising on the wrong platform doesn't sell B2B either. That's why if you're a B2B marketer, you should use LinkedIn ads.
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[35:30.440 -> 35:38.760] So let's talk about the mindset that you have which allows you to be open to this kind of input.
[35:38.760 -> 35:41.840] I mean, I've noticed that you have had a lot of coaches in your career.
[35:41.840 -> 35:47.200] So is this an example of you constantly looking for answers from people?
[35:47.200 -> 35:50.600] Yes, I think that's one of the best things about people.
[35:50.600 -> 35:54.000] We meet millions of people and I think often
[35:54.000 -> 35:57.700] maybe we don't take the time to engage with them or chat with them
[35:57.700 -> 36:01.100] or find out or just have that sense of curiosity about them.
[36:01.100 -> 36:02.600] I had an older sister.
[36:02.600 -> 36:08.120] She's three years older than me and you know, that was amazing. I had the benefit of somebody more advanced than me
[36:08.120 -> 36:11.680] and I could learn so many things from her. And
[36:11.680 -> 36:14.880] that was great. And I think I just kind of recognize that in the rest of life.
[36:14.880 -> 36:18.800] Sometimes you see people doing things and
[36:18.800 -> 36:22.240] there's things that you want to do and you always have two options. You can either
[36:22.240 -> 36:25.280] feel jealousy or envy. You go over and you ask
[36:25.280 -> 36:30.560] them, hey, I love what you're doing. How did you do it? And people are really shy about doing that,
[36:30.560 -> 36:35.120] but you would be surprised how many people want to share that because it's their passion and it's
[36:35.120 -> 36:40.640] something that they love doing. And part of it is you have to take the step and you have to go out
[36:40.640 -> 36:46.860] and you have to ask the question. What about then deciding when that person has been really helpful and really wonderful
[36:46.860 -> 36:50.500] but you now need to get input from elsewhere. You've had a lot of coaches and this is something
[36:50.500 -> 36:54.520] that I know I struggle with, you know, I have a relationship with someone I can't possibly
[36:54.520 -> 36:59.120] tell them that the relationship is over and that I need a new route. So what advice would
[36:59.120 -> 37:01.600] you give us in this arena?
[37:01.600 -> 37:06.180] That's a tough one because again we always have that sense of loyalty.
[37:06.180 -> 37:12.320] And so I started my athletics career quite late by standards of track and field.
[37:12.320 -> 37:13.500] How old were you?
[37:13.500 -> 37:17.220] So I was probably about 20.
[37:17.220 -> 37:21.680] The accident happened just as I was 16, and then there was probably about a three to four
[37:21.680 -> 37:27.400] year recovery period before I could really start getting back into, into sport. And, you know, 20 is 20 is old in that, in that.
[37:27.760 -> 37:32.720] And so I, I kind of knew, you know, Stephanie, you don't have time to waste.
[37:32.720 -> 37:35.200] You don't have the luxury of a 10 year junior career.
[37:35.600 -> 37:38.400] And so I was very intentional about who I went after.
[37:38.400 -> 37:41.800] And, you know, looking back now, people would have thought I was ridiculous
[37:42.200 -> 37:46.600] from the stage of knowing nothing,
[37:46.600 -> 37:48.880] I was seeking out a world-class coach.
[37:48.880 -> 37:52.680] So by coincidence, where we lived in Canada
[37:52.680 -> 37:56.560] happened to be about 15 minutes from the high performance
[37:56.560 -> 37:58.920] athletic center in Canada at that time.
[37:58.920 -> 38:02.480] So I showed up to the track at the high performance hours.
[38:02.480 -> 38:05.720] I mean, we're talking the Olympic level athletes training.
[38:05.720 -> 38:09.480] I come in as a chubby unfit girl with one foot,
[38:09.480 -> 38:11.720] not quite understanding why aren't people excited
[38:11.720 -> 38:12.560] to coach me?
[38:12.560 -> 38:13.880] And so I kind of realized, okay, look,
[38:13.880 -> 38:16.760] no one's gonna walk over to you, what else can you do?
[38:16.760 -> 38:17.960] So I just thought, that's fine.
[38:17.960 -> 38:20.240] I'm just going to keep showing up here.
[38:20.240 -> 38:21.920] And I would watch their warmups
[38:21.920 -> 38:24.040] and I would just do them on the other side of the track.
[38:24.040 -> 38:25.760] And I thought, that's fine.
[38:25.760 -> 38:27.360] This is the best that I can do right now.
[38:27.360 -> 38:32.080] And eventually, probably about two or three months in, one of them noticed and said, do
[38:32.080 -> 38:33.080] you know what?
[38:33.080 -> 38:36.000] You're actually—we're kind of impressed with your commitments, and you have a reasonable
[38:36.000 -> 38:38.600] amount of coordination.
[38:38.600 -> 38:42.080] No idea what you're doing, but I'd love to coach you.
[38:42.080 -> 38:43.320] I thought, great.
[38:43.320 -> 38:46.920] And so that was kind of the start. But I think I've always had a good internal sense of,
[38:46.920 -> 38:50.120] we've gotten to a point where I have learned everything that I can from you,
[38:50.120 -> 38:51.720] and I'm so grateful for it.
[38:51.720 -> 38:55.120] And I think that is actually a normal part of every relationship.
[38:55.120 -> 38:58.520] You can learn everything that you can, and it's not that the relationship ends,
[38:58.520 -> 38:59.520] it just changes.
[38:59.520 -> 39:02.800] People that I mentor, you know, the point is that at some point,
[39:02.800 -> 39:07.600] this is going to end, and we're going to become peers and friends, and you're going to go mentor someone, and that's just kind of the
[39:07.600 -> 39:08.600] natural course.
[39:08.600 -> 39:13.040] So, I never had a problem, partly because I was very aware of the time constraint, but
[39:13.040 -> 39:15.840] I just think that's just a normal evolution.
[39:15.840 -> 39:20.760] Tell us some of the killer questions you use then, when you meet somebody, to be able to
[39:20.760 -> 39:23.640] soak up as much knowledge and information that they're going to get.
[39:23.640 -> 39:27.600] So, I love the openness of saying, can you tell me what you're doing because I think
[39:27.600 -> 39:28.600] it's great.
[39:28.600 -> 39:32.400] But once you get into that relationship, for people listening to this, what are the kind
[39:32.400 -> 39:37.320] of great questions that you ask that accelerate the learning process?
[39:37.320 -> 39:43.160] Do you know what, I'm actually just realizing I don't ask the great questions and it's because
[39:43.160 -> 39:45.200] the most things that I have learned from people,
[39:45.200 -> 39:50.400] it's literally because I have attached myself like a leech to them and I will, I just want
[39:50.400 -> 39:52.080] to spend time with them.
[39:52.080 -> 39:55.240] Because you can ask questions like, yeah, about your career, but I think I'm actually
[39:55.240 -> 40:00.320] more interested in things like, you know, if we really mundane, boring things, like
[40:00.320 -> 40:03.720] I've invited myself to come and watch you speak at this event, which means I'm in my
[40:03.720 -> 40:04.800] car with you all the time.
[40:04.800 -> 40:07.200] How do you drive? When we go to the service station,
[40:07.200 -> 40:10.600] how do you treat people as we're in the service station? Really mundane things.
[40:10.600 -> 40:17.400] But actually those are the things I've found that set apart because it's one thing to be this way on stage or this way in your career,
[40:17.400 -> 40:20.300] and yet to be like this through all of your life.
[40:20.300 -> 40:22.900] And so actually I don't think I have a set of questions.
[40:22.900 -> 40:29.120] It's just I'm around them all the time and I see them in every single facet of their life and
[40:29.120 -> 40:34.200] that's what I take away. So we recently interviewed a rugby player that gave us
[40:34.200 -> 40:37.480] a great line. He said that how you do anything is how you do everything, which
[40:37.480 -> 40:40.920] is what you're describing. So tell us about some of the things that when
[40:40.920 -> 40:50.160] you've been around the most impressive coaches, the ones that have had the greatest impacts on your life, tell us some of the things that you've observed that you think
[40:50.160 -> 40:55.840] actually gives us a clue as to how they do anything is how they do everything. Okay, so I'm
[40:55.840 -> 41:00.240] going to name this example because it's one that I think about quite a lot and it's from Mike
[41:00.240 -> 41:05.600] Sherrick who currently is the CEO of Paralympics GB. Actually, no, he's just retired.
[41:05.600 -> 41:07.080] He led us through an amazing COVID period.
[41:07.600 -> 41:09.840] We actually met when he was head of sponsorship
[41:09.880 -> 41:11.360] for BP for London 2012.
[41:11.400 -> 41:14.560] So pretty much the most enviable role in sport
[41:14.560 -> 41:15.720] in the country in that year.
[41:16.680 -> 41:20.320] And watching how he went about his work.
[41:20.320 -> 41:22.840] And one of the key things that he does is hospitality,
[41:22.880 -> 41:26.840] which is such an incredible job and just, it is all about relationships
[41:26.840 -> 41:28.640] and how you treat people.
[41:28.640 -> 41:31.320] And we were actually at an event absolutely nothing
[41:31.320 -> 41:32.040] to do with work.
[41:32.040 -> 41:34.040] This was a social event for both of us.
[41:34.040 -> 41:37.120] And we were part of a 10-kilometer run,
[41:37.120 -> 41:40.640] 10K run for Richard Whitehead, who was running marathons.
[41:40.640 -> 41:42.000] I think it was 42 in 40 days.
[41:42.000 -> 41:43.920] But we were doing a 10-kilometer segment.
[41:43.920 -> 41:47.280] And I remember, it was just being with Mike and watching the contrast in our
[41:47.280 -> 41:49.200] approaches to this event.
[41:49.920 -> 41:51.240] I showed up for that 10 K.
[41:51.600 -> 41:55.360] The biggest thing on my mind is they had a bus that kind of followed you along.
[41:55.840 -> 41:57.200] And, you know, I'm a sprinter.
[41:57.200 -> 42:00.480] I don't do 10 Ks and all I'm thinking, I'm worried about myself, my performance.
[42:00.480 -> 42:02.880] I do not want to be the slow person that ends up on that bus because that
[42:02.880 -> 42:04.320] is going to be so embarrassing.
[42:04.560 -> 42:06.440] So literally showed up, mostly thinking about myself.
[42:06.960 -> 42:11.400] Mike shows up and yes, he's interested in his 10 K, but as I'm running, you know,
[42:11.400 -> 42:14.120] he is going up and down the pack that we had.
[42:14.120 -> 42:17.040] And again, it's, it's recreational runners and he's checking in.
[42:17.040 -> 42:17.840] How are you doing?
[42:17.880 -> 42:18.960] Oh, you're doing great.
[42:18.960 -> 42:19.760] Sharon, keep going.
[42:19.760 -> 42:20.640] Can I get you some water?
[42:20.960 -> 42:24.360] And I was very aware of the contrast in our attitudes.
[42:24.600 -> 42:27.920] Mine was very inward focused. He was looking at you some water? And I was very aware of the contrast in our attitudes. Mine was very inward focus
[42:27.920 -> 42:31.200] He was looking at everyone else and I that was just a great lesson for me
[42:31.200 -> 42:34.960] That is what getting to the top looks like it's not stepping on top of people
[42:34.960 -> 42:41.100] He got there because he cared so deeply about everyone and it was so natural for him even in his non work life
[42:41.100 -> 42:43.000] That is just who he was
[42:43.000 -> 42:45.720] Can you get to the top then, whether it's in sport
[42:45.720 -> 42:49.400] or whether it's in business, without being selfish?
[42:49.400 -> 42:51.720] There is this feeling that this is the preserve
[42:51.720 -> 42:53.560] of the selfish, you know, they've had to put themselves
[42:53.560 -> 42:55.400] above everyone else to get there.
[42:55.400 -> 42:56.800] What do you think about that?
[42:56.800 -> 42:59.040] It almost starts with the definition of what the top is,
[42:59.040 -> 43:01.360] but I think you can.
[43:01.360 -> 43:04.120] It's a really interesting time in society
[43:04.120 -> 43:07.920] when we are all so individualistic,
[43:07.920 -> 43:10.720] and we think about ourselves and our most important thing.
[43:10.720 -> 43:12.920] And it's really interesting, because I look back,
[43:12.920 -> 43:15.960] actually, a part of the education my parents gave me.
[43:15.960 -> 43:20.520] And it was so, because of just the way that their lives went,
[43:20.520 -> 43:22.760] two things were really important to impress
[43:22.760 -> 43:33.000] upon my mom for her two daughters. And it was about self-reliance and making sure that you can take the initiative and you can depend on yourself.
[43:34.000 -> 43:42.000] Almost to the point where I look at my life now and I think, probably I was too used to working on my own. I was too used to looking out for myself.
[43:41.800 -> 43:42.160] I was too used to looking out for myself.
[43:43.960 -> 43:44.040] I wasn't used to dealing with a team.
[43:50.800 -> 43:53.920] And what I realize now is, is that for anyone, no matter how smart you are, you are still not as smart as you plus 10 other brains.
[43:54.200 -> 43:57.400] That is how amazing and powerful things happen.
[43:57.840 -> 44:01.200] And if it's just about you getting to the top, it's you on your own.
[44:01.760 -> 44:07.280] And you will always fail against a team of people who can check their
[44:07.280 -> 44:11.640] egos, you know, who aren't, who aren't worried about, you know, having that
[44:11.640 -> 44:14.960] fame label or that power label on them.
[44:15.040 -> 44:18.800] And so, like I say, it's a question of what does getting to the top look like
[44:18.800 -> 44:27.160] for you, and if you get to the top and you have no one to celebrate with, is that really going
[44:27.160 -> 44:29.600] to feel all that good?
[44:29.600 -> 44:30.600] I don't think it will.
[44:30.600 -> 44:31.800] Mason Life is a team sport.
[44:31.800 -> 44:34.480] Heather It is, and again, it's something that took
[44:34.480 -> 44:40.060] me a really long time to learn, that even in the Olympics and Paralympics, there's no
[44:40.060 -> 44:43.640] gold medal for doing it all by yourself.
[44:43.640 -> 44:45.120] There is a gold medal for the person who did
[44:45.120 -> 44:48.400] it the best and the best does involve a team.
[44:48.400 -> 44:54.240] Can we talk about self-doubt, fear, imposter syndrome? After what you've been through,
[44:54.240 -> 44:56.760] it would be easy for people to listen to this conversation and think, well, there must be
[44:56.760 -> 45:00.920] no fear or self-doubt. You've been to the lowest place and you've turned yourself into
[45:00.920 -> 45:05.080] someone that's changed the game for others and broken down doors for others to walk through
[45:05.840 -> 45:07.840] So what what role does?
[45:08.280 -> 45:10.520] Self doubt play in your life
[45:12.160 -> 45:18.880] Yeah, I have self-doubt all the time, but I guess in some ways I
[45:19.520 -> 45:22.460] I just I don't necessarily see it as a negative thing
[45:22.480 -> 45:25.480] If I've given an opportunity or someone asks me to do something,
[45:25.480 -> 45:29.540] and the first thing that I feel is fear and self doubt, for me, that is a trigger.
[45:29.580 -> 45:30.680] That is something you must do.
[45:31.300 -> 45:35.740] Or that is something you at least need to explore because I know that it's
[45:35.740 -> 45:37.880] something that's going to stretch me.
[45:38.040 -> 45:39.380] It's going to make me uncomfortable.
[45:39.440 -> 45:40.940] And, and that is a good thing.
[45:41.480 -> 45:45.920] And, and the question is, yeah, how do you manage that self-doubt?
[45:45.920 -> 45:48.320] And I guess in some ways, it's almost just
[45:48.320 -> 45:50.920] become a habit where it triggers this feeling of excitement
[45:50.920 -> 45:54.940] in me, because you think, oh, what is this going to be like?
[45:54.940 -> 45:58.200] And I've also noticed two things about that.
[45:58.200 -> 46:01.120] It is easier to deal with self-doubt
[46:01.120 -> 46:06.840] in a realm that is new to you, or that you don't have an emotional attachment for. So for example, if I'm dealing with self-doubt in a realm that is new to you or that you don't have an emotional attachment for.
[46:06.840 -> 46:09.080] So for example, if I'm dealing with self-doubt,
[46:09.080 -> 46:12.280] well, I've recently retired, but in the world of athletics,
[46:12.280 -> 46:15.800] that's much harder because 18 years in that career,
[46:15.800 -> 46:19.600] there is a level of expectation on me as an athlete
[46:19.600 -> 46:21.080] to always be excellent, to be great.
[46:21.080 -> 46:23.040] So it's scarier taking risks.
[46:23.040 -> 46:24.880] But I found in other areas of my life
[46:24.880 -> 46:30.640] where there isn't that expectation, I'm much more free. So for example, I was asked to act in a
[46:30.640 -> 46:36.000] short film. I wasn't an actress, I'd never done this before, but there was, I remember showing
[46:36.000 -> 46:39.760] up for the first day, I said I will do it, but I will need acting lessons. And the director was
[46:39.760 -> 46:44.000] awesome, he's like, yeah, no problem, you come by and we're going to do this. And I remember showing
[46:44.000 -> 46:45.640] up for the first day and just, I knew, I'm going to do this. And I remember showing up for the first day, and just,
[46:45.640 -> 46:47.280] I knew I'm going to be terrible.
[46:47.280 -> 46:49.200] Like, it's not going to be a surprise to anyone.
[46:49.200 -> 46:50.040] It's not going to be a surprise to me.
[46:50.040 -> 46:51.820] It's not going to be a surprise to Sam,
[46:51.820 -> 46:53.780] because everyone knows where I'm starting from.
[46:53.780 -> 46:56.000] And so actually, there's huge freedom to fail.
[46:56.000 -> 46:57.400] There's zero expectation.
[46:57.400 -> 47:00.840] And so we did this one exercise where he's like, OK,
[47:00.840 -> 47:03.840] I want you to pretend we're just in his big loft apartment.
[47:03.840 -> 47:05.400] I want you to pretend that you need to get out on time, and you're looking for your keys. And so I'm like, right, I want you to pretend, we were just in his big loft apartment, I want you to pretend that you need to get out on time
[47:05.400 -> 47:06.640] and you're looking for your keys.
[47:06.640 -> 47:08.920] And so I'm like, right, okay, look for keys.
[47:08.920 -> 47:12.920] And I'm wandering around and I pick up a pair of headphones
[47:12.920 -> 47:14.640] and he's like, okay, stop.
[47:14.640 -> 47:16.600] He's like, those headphones are tiny.
[47:16.600 -> 47:18.640] You know your keys are not underneath,
[47:18.640 -> 47:19.960] like it was just a really dumb mistake
[47:19.960 -> 47:20.960] and we all kind of laughed,
[47:20.960 -> 47:23.400] but I had that ability to laugh at myself, so it was fine.
[47:23.400 -> 47:25.640] I don't always have that ability to laugh at myself
[47:25.640 -> 47:28.240] in areas where I'm expected to be excellent.
[47:28.240 -> 47:31.040] And so I think it's good to kind of explore both of them.
[47:31.040 -> 47:36.040] And I'm trying to get better about the areas
[47:36.100 -> 47:38.920] where parts of my identity are there,
[47:38.920 -> 47:42.160] because once you are excellent,
[47:42.160 -> 47:43.360] if you want to keep being excellent,
[47:43.360 -> 47:44.920] you have to keep trying new things.
[47:44.920 -> 47:45.120] And you can almost get stuck in this prison of I'm you want to keep being excellent, you have to keep trying new things.
[47:45.120 -> 47:48.320] And you can almost get stuck in this prison of, I'm too scared to try something new, and
[47:48.320 -> 47:50.800] yet if I don't, I'm not going to keep being excellent.
[47:50.800 -> 47:52.880] And that is the harder situation to be in by far.
[47:52.880 -> 47:56.600] See, I sometimes think when you talk about finding the thing that you're good at, and
[47:56.600 -> 48:00.520] then making sure you stay good at that, I almost think like you're defrauding yourself
[48:00.520 -> 48:08.880] in that, because I see loads of people who are doing the thing they did 20 years ago that worked for them then, right? So all they're doing is reliving
[48:08.880 -> 48:12.320] the same day over and over again and they're kind of like, you know, particularly
[48:12.320 -> 48:15.360] people who are in the public realm, they think, well I cashed in on this 20
[48:15.360 -> 48:18.880] years ago so I'm gonna keep on cashing in on the same thing. Not only are you
[48:18.880 -> 48:22.360] cheating the people that are watching you do that because it's like, well you're
[48:22.360 -> 48:27.800] doing the same act again, you know, for 20 years, but also I think more than that you're cheating yourself, like you're removing all of that growth watching you do that because it's like, well, you're doing the same act again, you know, for 20 years. But also I think more than that, you're cheating yourself. Like
[48:27.800 -> 48:32.160] you're removing all of that growth because you're playing the safe game. And as soon
[48:32.160 -> 48:38.400] as you don't play the safe game and you fail, fantastic, fantastic. Like I'd say to people
[48:38.400 -> 48:41.640] all the time, chase failure. The only way you know if you're pushing yourself to your
[48:41.640 -> 48:47.900] limits is if you fail. And I love the fact that you've still got self-doubt
[48:47.900 -> 48:49.240] and you've still got imposter syndrome.
[48:49.240 -> 48:51.940] And I used to really suffer with self-doubt.
[48:51.940 -> 48:53.800] And the way that I managed to kind of reframe it
[48:53.800 -> 48:56.800] in my head, right, is that if I have fear
[48:56.800 -> 48:58.440] or self-doubt about something,
[48:58.440 -> 49:00.940] then that is an indicator to me that I care about it.
[49:00.940 -> 49:02.840] If I don't want to achieve something,
[49:02.840 -> 49:04.900] I have no self-doubt or any worry about it,
[49:04.900 -> 49:08.880] but there I shouldn't be doing it because it doesn't bother me. It's a bit like jealousy
[49:08.880 -> 49:13.040] or seeing what other people have got and feeling that little burn inside you. That is an indicator
[49:13.040 -> 49:17.280] that you want what they've got. It's a message that you have to listen to. So as soon as someone
[49:17.280 -> 49:22.960] offers you an opportunity and you go, well, that is scary. It's scary because you want it. And if
[49:22.960 -> 49:31.200] you want it, you have to go for it. And too many people stop at the point of the fear, rather than realizing that it's not fear,
[49:31.200 -> 49:34.440] it's desire. And you have to go and you have to get that.
[49:34.440 -> 49:39.760] Yes. I think one of the things I've also learned is you have to stop. If you treat
[49:39.760 -> 49:46.580] life as an adventure, then when the mishaps happen and you know, the different forks in the road come, that's okay.
[49:46.940 -> 49:48.280] Whereas if you treat it as an exercise in
[49:48.280 -> 49:50.860] perfection, it is a prison.
[49:51.360 -> 49:55.200] And I remember I had a little girl ask me once,
[49:55.220 -> 49:57.280] she really wanted to do athletics and she just
[49:57.280 -> 50:00.460] said, but I just, I get so nervous before every
[50:00.460 -> 50:02.200] race, you know, how do you get the butterflies
[50:02.660 -> 50:03.340] to go away?
[50:04.480 -> 50:05.920] And I looked at her and I just said, you know what, like
[50:06.120 -> 50:08.200] 22 years in, they never go.
[50:08.680 -> 50:10.760] But the thing is you make friends with them
[50:11.320 -> 50:12.880] because actually the butterflies is your body
[50:12.880 -> 50:13.760] getting ready to go.
[50:13.800 -> 50:15.920] And I will never forget, I had this lesson in
[50:15.920 -> 50:18.620] competing and I had the opportunity to go and
[50:18.620 -> 50:20.560] compete just at this fun long jump meet.
[50:20.560 -> 50:23.640] And I thought, oh, how amazing will that be to
[50:23.640 -> 50:26.800] be able to just go to this casual meet and
[50:26.800 -> 50:32.080] be able to compete free from pressure and just do it for fun. And I got there. I just could not be
[50:32.080 -> 50:38.160] bothered. Nothing about that meet excited me. It was the worst performance I had ever done.
[50:38.160 -> 50:41.440] And my whole life I've been telling myself, oh, if I could just compete without pressure
[50:41.440 -> 50:45.140] and I found out what that's like, it's awful. I give me the pressure. I actually love it
[50:45.540 -> 50:52.920] It's exciting. So when you look back over your 17 year career, then I'm intrigued by this by this
[50:53.440 -> 50:55.440] this area of the conversation about
[50:57.120 -> 51:02.880] Competing in areas where there was a sense of expectation as opposed to the freedom that comes from knowing that you're
[51:03.240 -> 51:06.120] The beginners mindset when you do acting.
[51:06.120 -> 51:08.480] Do you look back now and think you could have done
[51:08.480 -> 51:11.760] even better in your career if you could have somehow
[51:11.760 -> 51:14.080] removed this sense of expectation from you
[51:14.080 -> 51:15.940] and embraced failure?
[51:15.940 -> 51:16.780] Yes and no.
[51:16.780 -> 51:18.680] I think you can look back on any career and yeah,
[51:18.680 -> 51:20.160] in hindsight, you can say, actually,
[51:20.160 -> 51:22.360] if I had just done these things differently,
[51:22.360 -> 51:25.520] but then it is just all part of that growth process.
[51:25.520 -> 51:28.520] And who I am now is different from who I was then.
[51:28.520 -> 51:31.480] And I kind of feel, so if I look back on my career,
[51:31.480 -> 51:33.320] you go, because of the stages of your career,
[51:33.320 -> 51:35.120] you have different advantages at different points.
[51:35.120 -> 51:38.200] And so I remember the beginning, where I showed up
[51:38.200 -> 51:41.480] for my first Paralympics, and there was no expectation.
[51:41.480 -> 51:44.080] And those kind of athletes are dangerous,
[51:44.080 -> 51:46.000] because they are wildly naive.
[51:46.000 -> 51:47.440] They're completely uninhibited.
[51:47.440 -> 51:48.960] You have no idea what they're going to give.
[51:48.960 -> 51:49.720] And that was me.
[51:50.080 -> 51:52.320] And I ended up coming out with a surprise bronze
[51:52.320 -> 51:52.680] medal.
[51:53.160 -> 51:54.720] And then you kind of hit that midpoint of your
[51:54.720 -> 51:58.080] career where not only do you have the benefits
[51:58.160 -> 52:00.160] of, you know, you're stronger, you're faster,
[52:00.160 -> 52:02.280] you're wiser, you have more experience, but also,
[52:02.280 -> 52:04.240] okay, now there's more at stake.
[52:04.800 -> 52:05.440] Um, you've got more expectation, you have more experience, but also, okay, now there's more at stake.
[52:09.600 -> 52:12.640] You've got more expectation, you have more pressure, you've got sponsors, you've got funding, you have outside people expecting you to deliver.
[52:12.640 -> 52:14.000] And what about internally?
[52:14.000 -> 52:18.960] Oh, internally. I mean, I've always been my biggest motivator, my biggest critic,
[52:19.520 -> 52:25.040] and those voices get, again, it's almost like your identity is getting wrapped around it.
[52:25.040 -> 52:26.640] And so you're becoming less free.
[52:26.640 -> 52:28.200] You're becoming more trapped in this prison.
[52:28.200 -> 52:29.440] You're feeling that pressure.
[52:29.440 -> 52:32.040] I need to keep doing the same thing to get the same result.
[52:32.040 -> 52:33.560] And that is a prison.
[52:33.560 -> 52:37.880] And so I almost feel like I have this kind of slump
[52:37.880 -> 52:39.200] somewhere in the middle.
[52:39.200 -> 52:41.520] And then you get to the point at the end of your career
[52:41.520 -> 52:44.120] where you find a way to take all of that wisdom, all
[52:44.120 -> 52:47.600] of that experience, combine it with that total freedom and naivety,
[52:47.600 -> 52:49.240] and that's how you end it.
[52:49.240 -> 52:51.540] And I think it's actually probably quite a good template.
[52:51.540 -> 52:54.540] I don't think there is a way to possibly
[52:54.540 -> 52:57.800] kind of change that arc and make it so every year is awesome.
[52:57.800 -> 53:00.880] There are just some things in life you learn as you go through.
[53:00.880 -> 53:04.280] But I'm interested, because you're a mentor to people now as well, so,
[53:04.280 -> 53:07.360] like, whilst you can't go back and change it for yourself, I'm
[53:07.360 -> 53:11.640] interested in say young athletes now that might be listening to this that go
[53:11.640 -> 53:17.040] how do I just accelerate my way through that difficult middle bit to get to
[53:17.040 -> 53:22.840] competing with knowledge and experience but also that freedom. And it's just as
[53:22.840 -> 53:26.560] relevant in a non-sport sense isn't't it? You know, for life really.
[53:27.200 -> 53:32.080] I think, yes, that's a really great question. So what I try and do the people that I mentor
[53:32.080 -> 53:39.120] is just really encourage that sense and that love for adventure. And I want them to keep taking the
[53:39.120 -> 53:45.000] risks that I probably was too, too scared to. And just, if you develop that internal love
[53:45.000 -> 53:48.040] and just know, actually, this could totally fail, that's okay.
[53:48.040 -> 53:49.360] There will always be a way back.
[53:49.600 -> 53:52.200] Like, all of life does not rest on this one moment.
[53:52.240 -> 53:53.240] Life is too big for that.
[53:53.680 -> 53:57.480] And so yeah, if I could really foster in them a love for adventure, a love for
[53:57.480 -> 54:03.720] taking risks, being okay with failure, not complacent, and not okay with repeating
[54:03.720 -> 54:05.280] the same failures over and over, but
[54:06.080 -> 54:12.000] you know, failing in a way that is magnificent and spectacular and epic, and that makes a great story.
[54:12.000 -> 54:12.960] Failing forwards.
[54:12.960 -> 54:13.520] Yes.
[54:13.520 -> 54:18.320] But then that takes us into the identity model that you've spoken about. You said at one stage,
[54:18.320 -> 54:25.520] you almost like, your identity got caught up in being the athlete, you know, like you'd had almost yn cael y cyflawni, yn y cymorth, fel bod gennych gwneud ychydig o ddewis identity
[54:25.520 -> 54:29.520] pan ddewis yr accident, oherwydd roeddech chi'n y
[54:29.520 -> 54:33.360] prodigio'r ymdrechion y byddech chi'n mynd i chwarae ar gyfer Canada yn y rygbi,
[54:33.360 -> 54:35.760] ac yna roeddech chi'n rhaid i chi ymdrechu eich hunain, ac roeddech chi wedi
[54:35.760 -> 54:40.640] ddod yn ôl i'r sport. Dweud wrthym ni nawr yna am y period ddiddorol ydych chi
[54:40.640 -> 54:47.600] yn ei gyrraedd, rydych chi'n ymdrechydd o'r gynhyrch nawr. period you're in of retiring, you're a former athlete now. How have you coped and reframed
[54:47.600 -> 54:50.320] your identity around this period of your life?
[54:50.320 -> 54:56.000] It's been hard and I mean I'm really lucky in my retirement in that and that I chose
[54:56.000 -> 55:07.440] it. I wasn't injured, I was still funded, I just knew this period is just done and I'm okay with that. And still, there was quite a deep, dark
[55:08.560 -> 55:09.680] dip for a period.
[55:10.320 -> 55:11.280] What about?
[55:11.280 -> 55:16.160] It just felt like I didn't have a center. Everything had just been ripped away and
[55:16.160 -> 55:20.160] you're floating, there was nothing tying you down, and it was actually quite scary.
[55:20.880 -> 55:27.000] And I was really lucky in that I had some really great help and really great people to chat with.
[55:27.000 -> 55:30.480] But it was just the most bizarre thing.
[55:30.480 -> 55:35.880] There was just one moment where you can feel something quite dark bubbling up.
[55:35.880 -> 55:37.360] And people always say, let it out, let it out.
[55:37.360 -> 55:40.720] But I knew, no, if this comes out right now, I actually feel like my mind and myself is
[55:40.720 -> 55:41.720] going to fracture.
[55:41.720 -> 55:42.720] And so I called people.
[55:42.720 -> 55:43.720] I got some help.
[55:43.720 -> 55:45.300] And I tend to feel things quite deeply.
[55:45.340 -> 55:46.180] So it's great.
[55:46.180 -> 55:49.220] You kind of go through the cycle quite quickly, you know, felt everything and
[55:49.220 -> 55:51.400] got it out of my system, but it was a hard three weeks.
[55:51.420 -> 55:54.560] I mean, and I had to really gauge who I was hanging around with because for no
[55:54.560 -> 55:58.880] reason, you know, you just burst into tears and, you know, you need to be with
[55:58.880 -> 56:01.960] someone that that's quite a safe place to do that.
[56:02.380 -> 56:05.280] And again, it was just that, you know, you think you're
[56:05.280 -> 56:10.000] doing better about the identity thing, but these things will always rear their heads and it's not
[56:10.000 -> 56:13.360] a one and done thing, it's something you have to keep going. But basically what I've learned in
[56:13.360 -> 56:17.040] the process and what I've been learning the past 22 years and you know, had a great reminder
[56:17.040 -> 56:22.960] recently was identity, it's a necessary thing, we need to have one, it's your center, it's who you
[56:22.960 -> 56:25.000] are, but you have to be really careful as to what you hang that on.
[56:26.400 -> 56:29.480] It doesn't work to hang it on. I'm Steph, the athlete, I'm Steph, the able-bodied
[56:29.480 -> 56:31.920] person, because those are all things that can change.
[56:32.320 -> 56:36.440] And so I think it's about picking things like, okay, I am Steph
[56:36.840 -> 56:38.640] that will always try her best.
[56:38.720 -> 56:40.720] I am the Steph that will commit a hundred percent.
[56:40.720 -> 56:43.800] I am the Steph that will reinvent and come back.
[56:44.280 -> 56:45.520] Those are things that no matter what else is going on, they can I am the staff that will commit 100%. I am the staff that will reinvent and come back."
[56:45.520 -> 56:48.280] Those are things that, no matter what else is going on,
[56:48.280 -> 56:49.760] they can always be me.
[56:49.760 -> 56:53.560] And even when the accident initially happened
[56:53.560 -> 56:56.880] and sport was no longer an option for me,
[56:56.880 -> 56:59.120] and I was thinking, but I'm still the same person.
[56:59.120 -> 57:02.160] Like, I am still someone who loves to work hard
[57:02.160 -> 57:03.680] and is competitive and loves competing.
[57:03.680 -> 57:05.800] So what's that now gonna look like?
[57:05.800 -> 57:10.000] And in that moment, it was, I joined the trivia team.
[57:10.000 -> 57:12.160] And you know, you kind of, there's four of you
[57:12.160 -> 57:13.840] and you go to different schools and you compete.
[57:13.840 -> 57:15.680] And you know, it's not quite the same
[57:15.680 -> 57:17.440] as being on a rugby pitch,
[57:17.440 -> 57:19.480] but that was just a different outlet.
[57:19.480 -> 57:23.040] There will always be an outlet to express those inner things,
[57:23.040 -> 57:24.600] that true identity,
[57:24.600 -> 57:25.120] even if it's
[57:25.120 -> 57:29.440] not how you originally imagined it. So what advice would you give to listeners
[57:29.440 -> 57:33.200] then? Because what you're describing there is identifying your core values,
[57:33.200 -> 57:37.400] they're values that are going to be eternal, they're controllable and
[57:37.400 -> 57:41.640] they're replicable in your life. Whatever you do, you can still try your best, you
[57:41.640 -> 57:45.560] can still come back, you can still be kind and all those other things.
[57:45.560 -> 57:49.240] So how would you advise people listening to this
[57:49.240 -> 57:51.280] to go and explore what their own values are
[57:51.280 -> 57:54.200] so they can understand that in any context
[57:54.200 -> 57:58.480] they can still be congruent and act with integrity?
[57:58.480 -> 57:59.960] Well, I mean, there's several different ways
[57:59.960 -> 58:00.800] that you can do it.
[58:00.800 -> 58:02.240] And I think you also have to be really careful.
[58:02.240 -> 58:05.960] We kind of all have, you ask someone what their values are,
[58:05.960 -> 58:08.720] and they'll say what they are.
[58:08.720 -> 58:11.320] And often, it's an aspirational list of values.
[58:11.320 -> 58:13.600] And I think you have to be really honest with yourself.
[58:13.600 -> 58:15.040] Actually, what are my values?
[58:15.040 -> 58:16.200] That's your starting point.
[58:16.200 -> 58:18.440] And it doesn't mean that your values for all time,
[58:18.440 -> 58:19.980] you can change and work towards them.
[58:19.980 -> 58:21.280] But you've got to be honest where
[58:21.280 -> 58:22.360] your starting point is at.
[58:22.360 -> 58:24.520] And for me, the starting point is always
[58:24.520 -> 58:25.120] have a look at where you spend your time and your money. That will be where your starting point is at. And for me, the starting point is always have a look
[58:25.120 -> 58:28.000] at where you spend your time and your money.
[58:28.000 -> 58:29.800] That will be where your values are right now.
[58:29.800 -> 58:32.360] And then you have a think about, do I want to shift this?
[58:32.360 -> 58:33.880] Not because someone else thinks I should,
[58:33.880 -> 58:37.360] or not because it looks good, but do I want to shift this?
[58:37.360 -> 58:41.560] And a good way to start thinking about that is
[58:41.560 -> 58:43.480] if someone stood up at your funeral,
[58:43.480 -> 58:45.520] what is it that you would want them to say about you?
[58:45.520 -> 58:46.360] Oh, nice.
[58:46.360 -> 58:48.880] That tends to, I didn't make that up, that was them.
[58:48.880 -> 58:49.800] No, no.
[58:49.800 -> 58:51.960] That was a question asked by one of my sports psychs.
[58:51.960 -> 58:55.980] And it sounds quite morbid, but actually,
[58:55.980 -> 58:56.820] I don't think it is.
[58:56.820 -> 59:00.040] I think the reality is, is that we all have a time limit.
[59:00.040 -> 59:02.080] We're all going to pass away.
[59:02.080 -> 59:04.660] And it's funny, every single world championships,
[59:04.660 -> 59:07.200] every single Paralympics, you'll be three weeks out, and the thing you think is,
[59:07.200 -> 59:10.560] oh, if I just had more time to work on this, but you don't have more time,
[59:10.560 -> 59:15.200] and that's a good thing, because that is what that gives, that specific period value.
[59:15.200 -> 59:17.000] It is time-limited, and that's what gives your life value.
[59:17.000 -> 59:18.000] Again, it is time-limited.
[59:18.000 -> 59:22.900] So, you can start with that point of, what do I want people to say at my funeral?
[59:22.900 -> 59:25.460] And something that I also think is really helpful,
[59:25.460 -> 59:28.900] sometimes people almost want to check out of this process
[59:28.900 -> 59:32.400] because, or out of having these different aspirations
[59:32.400 -> 59:34.000] because they don't think that they're talented enough,
[59:34.000 -> 59:35.960] or they don't think that they,
[59:35.960 -> 59:38.760] what they're doing is a big enough deal.
[59:38.760 -> 59:42.660] And I was reminded of this line recently,
[59:42.660 -> 59:46.500] I'm still skating, and I was watching Kristen Spors in her new program,
[59:46.500 -> 59:48.500] and it's kind of like ninja samurai-esque,
[59:48.500 -> 59:51.500] and there is this killer line in it where it says,
[59:51.500 -> 59:57.000] not everyone can fight like a samurai, but we can all die like one.
[59:57.000 -> 01:00:00.500] And I think, yes, we can all commit to this process
[01:00:00.500 -> 01:00:04.500] and do the best that we can, and so nobody gets to check out of it.
[01:00:04.500 -> 01:00:07.320] And what would you want them to say at your funeral?
[01:00:07.320 -> 01:00:13.120] I would want people to say that I was someone who committed 100% to everything that she
[01:00:13.120 -> 01:00:18.160] did and that with everything I acted with love and with kindness.
[01:00:18.160 -> 01:00:19.320] And did she enjoy it?
[01:00:19.320 -> 01:00:21.320] Oh gosh, yes!
[01:00:21.320 -> 01:00:25.280] I hope that they say, yeah, it was full of fun and
[01:00:25.840 -> 01:00:28.440] It was a hundred percent joyful brilliant
[01:00:28.440 -> 01:00:31.860] We've reached the point in our interview where we're going to run through some quickfire questions
[01:00:31.860 -> 01:00:37.840] Okay, and this leads on nicely to what we just spoke to what are the three non-negotiables that you and the people around you?
[01:00:38.200 -> 01:00:40.200] need to buy into
[01:00:40.200 -> 01:00:43.100] number one total commitment, right
[01:00:43.920 -> 01:00:47.000] to Number one, total commitment. Great. Two, respect.
[01:00:47.000 -> 01:00:49.600] There was always time and there was always energy
[01:00:49.600 -> 01:00:54.400] to treat everyone with kindness and dignity.
[01:00:54.400 -> 01:00:56.000] And the third one is integrity.
[01:00:56.000 -> 01:01:00.200] I never want to find myself doing something I would be embarrassed
[01:01:00.200 -> 01:01:02.200] if other people found out about.
[01:01:02.200 -> 01:01:04.400] How you go about doing things matters.
[01:01:04.400 -> 01:01:08.300] What's your biggest weakness and your greatest strength?
[01:01:08.300 -> 01:01:10.600] Do you know what, I often find they're one and the same thing.
[01:01:10.600 -> 01:01:13.300] Often your greatest strength has a shadow side as well.
[01:01:13.300 -> 01:01:16.900] And it's really funny, my husband and I go back and forth on this.
[01:01:16.900 -> 01:01:23.300] I know that there's quite a push at the moment towards this idea of being really temperate.
[01:01:23.300 -> 01:01:25.840] Never let your highs too high and your lows too low.
[01:01:25.840 -> 01:01:31.760] The truth is, I am wildly emotional, and I feel things really deeply, and I enjoy it.
[01:01:31.760 -> 01:01:36.560] I love the highs, and I accept that feeling those highs and those joys will come with
[01:01:36.560 -> 01:01:39.440] feeling the lows as well, but that's just me.
[01:01:39.440 -> 01:01:41.600] Whereas my husband is, he is the opposite.
[01:01:41.600 -> 01:01:46.080] He is very, very even- keeled, very middle ground.
[01:01:46.080 -> 01:01:47.880] And it's so interesting being married to someone
[01:01:47.880 -> 01:01:49.120] so wildly different from you,
[01:01:49.120 -> 01:01:51.040] because you can see that actually two different ways
[01:01:51.040 -> 01:01:53.080] to do life, they both work.
[01:01:53.080 -> 01:01:54.280] Very nice.
[01:01:54.280 -> 01:01:57.280] The hidden 1% makes such a difference to our success.
[01:01:57.280 -> 01:02:00.840] Could you tell us how you found the hidden 1% in your life?
[01:02:00.840 -> 01:02:03.920] I think that hidden 1% has always come
[01:02:03.920 -> 01:02:07.600] as a willingness to do something extra. Okay,
[01:02:07.600 -> 01:02:13.040] so what is everyone else doing? What can I do on top of that? Because if you keep doing what
[01:02:13.040 -> 01:02:16.720] everyone else is doing, then you're going to get what everyone else is going to get. I mean,
[01:02:16.720 -> 01:02:21.120] that's just age old advice. Find something unique to do that no one else is doing it.
[01:02:21.120 -> 01:02:25.600] Don't stop with the obvious. Love it. You know, Mark Webber, the former Formula One driver, said to us,
[01:02:25.600 -> 01:02:32.640] average is easy. That's why it's popular. Yeah. What book, podcast or learning
[01:02:32.640 -> 01:02:37.240] resource would you advise our listeners to go and explore? Oh, actually I have two.
[01:02:37.240 -> 01:02:44.880] So the book would be John Ortberg and it's called At the End of the Game, It
[01:02:44.880 -> 01:02:45.760] All Goes Back in the Box.
[01:02:46.500 -> 01:02:49.340] And it's just, it's a really brilliant book
[01:02:49.340 -> 01:02:52.340] about how you see various things on social
[01:02:52.340 -> 01:02:55.040] media about if you work out and you drink
[01:02:55.040 -> 01:02:57.340] water and you eat really well, you're still
[01:02:57.340 -> 01:02:57.840] going to die.
[01:02:58.460 -> 01:03:00.140] And it's actually kind of his point as well,
[01:03:00.140 -> 01:03:03.300] no matter how successful you are, at the end
[01:03:03.300 -> 01:03:04.540] of the day, it all goes back in the box.
[01:03:04.540 -> 01:03:09.040] And so how are you living in such a way that makes sure you are, you know, enjoying and
[01:03:09.040 -> 01:03:12.360] making the most of that time, knowing it's all going to end.
[01:03:12.360 -> 01:03:16.040] And then in terms of film, I'm going to go really left field here.
[01:03:16.040 -> 01:03:17.040] Cool Runnings.
[01:03:17.040 -> 01:03:18.040] Have you seen it?
[01:03:18.040 -> 01:03:19.040] Great film.
[01:03:19.040 -> 01:03:20.040] Yes!
[01:03:20.040 -> 01:03:26.880] So for me, that is just one of the best examples of, there's only ever going to be one winner.
[01:03:26.880 -> 01:03:31.480] It does not mean there's only going to be one high performer. And that entire movie
[01:03:31.480 -> 01:03:34.080] is about how to be a high performer.
[01:03:34.080 -> 01:03:37.800] That is a lovely line. It's only going to be one winner. It doesn't mean there's only
[01:03:37.800 -> 01:03:38.800] one high performer.
[01:03:38.800 -> 01:03:39.800] I'm nicking that stuff.
[01:03:39.800 -> 01:03:41.960] You can go for it.
[01:03:41.960 -> 01:03:46.800] And the final question, and this is your kind of last message really to the listeners of this podcast,
[01:03:46.800 -> 01:03:47.900] and it's been brilliant by the way,
[01:03:47.900 -> 01:03:50.200] your kind of one final golden rule,
[01:03:50.200 -> 01:03:52.200] a thought you'd like to leave them with
[01:03:52.200 -> 01:03:55.600] for living their own version of high performance.
[01:03:55.600 -> 01:03:57.200] Be uncomfortable.
[01:03:57.200 -> 01:03:59.800] And what I mean by that is say yes.
[01:03:59.800 -> 01:04:01.600] Say yes to everything.
[01:04:01.600 -> 01:04:02.800] Take the gamble.
[01:04:02.800 -> 01:04:04.200] Bet on yourself.
[01:04:04.200 -> 01:04:05.720] Try something new, just go for
[01:04:05.720 -> 01:04:06.720] it.
[01:04:06.720 -> 01:04:10.480] If you get to the end of a week and you cannot name a single situation which you were really
[01:04:10.480 -> 01:04:15.640] uncomfortable in, then you need to question what you're doing.
[01:04:15.640 -> 01:04:22.040] Geoff – Steph, what an amazing journey and what a brilliant conversation and a story
[01:04:22.040 -> 01:04:30.800] that is far from reaching the end of its conclusion I suspect. Thank you so much for sharing such incredible wisdom with our audience.
[01:04:32.320 -> 01:04:39.800] Damien. Jake. Fascinating. Amazing. What stands out for you? Did you cry at one
[01:04:39.800 -> 01:04:46.440] point? I choked up definitely. I think just imagining being 16 years of age and
[01:04:47.040 -> 01:04:53.920] Having your mom come in and tell you that that accident that you remember really clearly has resulted in a life-changing
[01:04:55.600 -> 01:04:58.080] Amputation like that just really choked me up and I
[01:04:59.280 -> 01:05:07.620] Think part of it was knowing where she eventually got to but realizing the dark place that she'd started from really saw humbled me
[01:05:07.620 -> 01:05:11.240] I hope that people listening to this who are in a tricky place at the moment
[01:05:11.760 -> 01:05:18.020] Realize that she got to where she got to despite also being in a place that they might recognize at the moment
[01:05:18.320 -> 01:05:21.260] But I also hope that people noted down
[01:05:21.840 -> 01:05:23.840] the genuine tangible
[01:05:24.480 -> 01:05:26.480] takeaways tips tricks
[01:05:26.920 -> 01:05:30.300] mindsets shortcuts that Steph came armed with because I
[01:05:30.740 -> 01:05:36.820] think we often think that high performance is a trickier thing to reach than it actually is and when someone like Steph sits here and
[01:05:37.360 -> 01:05:40.700] Tells you the mindset that's taken her from you know
[01:05:40.700 -> 01:05:47.660] Suffering a disability at 16 to all of the amazing things that she's done since you have to reflect on it and react to it
[01:05:48.060 -> 01:05:53.640] Yeah, definitely. I was reminded. I thought there's a real echo there in terms of
[01:05:54.080 -> 01:05:57.540] You when you know when she spoke about the diary in the wallet test
[01:05:57.960 -> 01:06:03.320] Because I've said it to you before that I think people can talk a good game on my family the most important thing
[01:06:03.360 -> 01:06:07.840] But when I speak to you and you driving back in the early hours of the morning to get back to the family Dwi'n credu bod pobl yn gallu siarad yn dda o ran fy nhrefn, y peth pwysicrwydd, ond pan ddweud wrthym a chi'n ymlaen yn y gofynnau yn y gofynnau yn y diwrnodau,
[01:06:07.840 -> 01:06:09.520] i ddod yn ôl i'r nhrefn,
[01:06:09.520 -> 01:06:11.280] dydych chi ddim yn dweud i mi eich nhrefr yw'r pwysicrwydd fwyaf,
[01:06:11.280 -> 01:06:13.920] dydych chi'n ei ddangos i mi, ac mae'r plant yn gwybod,
[01:06:13.920 -> 01:06:16.280] ac mae Harriet yn ei gwybod, ac rwy'n credu,
[01:06:16.280 -> 01:06:18.840] yn clywed Steff yno,
[01:06:18.840 -> 01:06:20.200] y dyfyniad o'r llwybr,
[01:06:20.200 -> 01:06:21.400] mae hi'n ei ddod o'r bryd,
[01:06:21.400 -> 01:06:23.760] o ran, pan ydy hi'n cymryd i wneud rhywbeth,
[01:06:23.760 -> 01:06:25.700] mae hi'n ddangos yn dda, dyna sut mae hi'n ei roi i gyd, mae hi'n ei ddod o'r bwysicrwydd, She passes that every time in terms of when she commits to do something. She's brilliant at it You know what?
[01:06:25.700 -> 01:06:27.700] she gives it all she embraces it even
[01:06:28.000 -> 01:06:33.940] I was talking to her before about the dancing on ice that she did and you know, what seems like a bit of a
[01:06:34.340 -> 01:06:36.440] light froth entertainment show
[01:06:37.000 -> 01:06:40.840] She never treated it like that. She went in there committed to making a fool of herself
[01:06:41.920 -> 01:06:43.920] falling on her face
[01:06:43.960 -> 01:06:45.840] To eventually get to a place where
[01:06:45.840 -> 01:06:50.080] she now skates for pleasure because she's mastered the craft of it. I think
[01:06:50.080 -> 01:06:53.400] there's something really powerful about where you spend your time and where you
[01:06:53.400 -> 01:06:54.640] spend your money.
[01:06:54.640 -> 01:06:56.080] Really good. Thanks a lot mate.
[01:06:56.080 -> 01:06:57.440] Thanks mate, loved it.
[01:06:57.440 -> 01:06:59.680] And don't forget if you want to hear what was said when the
[01:06:59.680 -> 01:07:03.720] microphones carried on rolling, we have a subscription service, High Performance
[01:07:03.720 -> 01:07:10.360] Plus, our premium service brings you even more from our high performance guests
[01:07:10.360 -> 01:07:14.280] well a big thanks for you listening to today's high performance podcast of
[01:07:14.280 -> 01:07:17.320] course big thanks to the whole team who've worked to produce this content
[01:07:17.320 -> 01:07:20.240] for you and I also want to say thank you to everyone who's picked up a ticket
[01:07:20.240 -> 01:07:29.340] for the high performance live tour we've created a brand new never seen before theatre show. We start touring very soon so we can't wait to
[01:07:29.340 -> 01:07:33.500] meet all of you and be in the presence of the high-performance community. But I
[01:07:33.500 -> 01:07:36.540] think the biggest thanks for this conversation has to go to Steph Reid for
[01:07:36.540 -> 01:07:40.660] coming on here and sharing so much with us and I know that for so many of you
[01:07:40.660 -> 01:07:44.900] that listen to this podcast it's going to be incredibly helpful. You can also
[01:07:44.900 -> 01:07:47.840] watch this episode by heading to our YouTube channel and to find out more
[01:07:47.840 -> 01:07:53.120] about everything from high performance, just go to the highperformancepodcast.com.
[01:07:53.120 -> 01:07:57.880] That's the highperformancepodcast.com and you can find out all of the things that we're
[01:07:57.880 -> 01:07:58.880] up to.
[01:07:58.880 -> 01:08:00.920] But for now, have a brilliant week.
[01:08:00.920 -> None] Thanks for listening and we'll see you soon. you