E173 - Ross Clark: Prepare to meet the real Rylan

Rylan is a television and radio broadcaster. In this interview, Rylan shares the differences between Rylan, his public personality, and Ross, who he is in his private life. Today, Ross joins us, leaving Rylan behind and opening up in a way you’ve never heard before. He shares how he overcame his breakdown and serious depression, by taking it step by step and focusing on micro-achievements. 

Ross takes us through his career and personal journey, from his sudden rise to fame after his first appearance on X-Factor, how he turned being pigeon-holed as a ‘joke’ into a 10 year career and how he feels he is finally experiencing adulthood. In this episode they discuss how to stop reaching for external success, standing up for people who have been treated unfairly and the reality of his meteoric rise to fame. 

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please follow the link below: 

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/help-for-suicidal-thoughts/

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## Summary of the Podcast Episode:

The podcast episode features Rylan, a renowned television and radio broadcaster, in an intimate conversation where he sheds light on the distinction between his public persona, Rylan, and his private self, Ross. Rylan opens up in a way never heard before, sharing his journey of overcoming a breakdown and severe depression by taking it step by step and focusing on micro-achievements.

Rylan narrates his remarkable career trajectory, from his sudden rise to fame after appearing on X-Factor to his decade-long stint as a "joke" in the entertainment industry. He reflects on how he feels he is finally experiencing adulthood and emphasizes the importance of moving away from external success and standing up for individuals facing unfair treatment.

The episode delves into the reality of Rylan's meteoric rise to fame, exploring the challenges of maintaining a healthy mindset amidst overwhelming success. Rylan candidly discusses the breakdown of his marriage, which triggered a mental breakdown, leading him to press the emergency stop button on his life. He describes the harrowing experience of attempting to take his own life twice and the subsequent feelings of guilt and responsibility.

As Rylan embarked on a journey of recovery, he realized that he had not lost anything valuable but rather gained an opportunity to discover who he truly was. He highlights the significance of turning challenging situations into opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

The conversation addresses the notion that external successes, such as wealth, fame, and material possessions, do not guarantee happiness. Rylan emphasizes the importance of personal growth, relationships, and finding fulfillment in life beyond external achievements.

Rylan shares his experience of living on his own for the first time at the age of 34, a milestone that most people encounter much earlier in life. He acknowledges the challenges of this transition but also recognizes the opportunity it presented for personal growth and self-discovery.

The episode underscores the importance of taking small steps towards recovery during difficult times. Rylan emphasizes the value of celebrating even the smallest accomplishments, such as making a cup of tea or taking a shower, as these incremental steps contribute to progress and healing.

Rylan's story serves as a powerful reminder to treat mental health issues with the same seriousness as physical ailments. He advocates for open conversations about mental health and the need to recognize the gradual process of recovery, just as one would approach a physical injury.

Overall, the podcast episode offers a deeply personal and inspiring account of Rylan's journey through adversity and his ultimate triumph over challenges. His candidness and vulnerability provide valuable insights into the complexities of mental health and the importance of seeking support and taking proactive steps towards recovery.

In this podcast episode, Rylan Clark, a renowned British television and radio broadcaster, joins Steve Bartlett and James Smith, the hosts of the High Performance Podcast, for an insightful and candid conversation. Rylan sheds light on his struggles with mental health, particularly his experience with a severe breakdown and depression. He emphasizes the importance of taking small, gradual steps towards recovery and focusing on micro-achievements to regain a sense of control and progress.

Rylan reflects on his meteoric rise to fame after appearing on the X-Factor, acknowledging that while it was an exhilarating experience, it also led to him being pigeonholed as a "joke" for nearly a decade. He shares how he has grown and matured over the years, finally feeling like he is experiencing adulthood.

The discussion delves into the concept of external success and how striving for it can be detrimental to one's well-being. Rylan emphasizes the need to stop seeking validation from external sources and instead focus on personal growth and fulfillment. He also highlights the significance of standing up for people who have been treated unfairly, drawing from his own experiences and observations in the entertainment industry.

Rylan openly shares his technique of talking to himself kindly, like a toddler, as a means of self-compassion and encouragement during his recovery. He emphasizes the importance of being gentle with oneself, especially when struggling with mental health issues.

The conversation touches upon the topic of dealing with setbacks and disappointments. Rylan stresses the significance of accepting that not everything will always go according to plan and learning to let go of the need to control every situation. He encourages listeners to focus on what they can control, such as their own actions and attitudes, and to practice self-acceptance and self-compassion.

Rylan reflects on his relationship with work and how his perspective has changed since his breakdown. He emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing one's well-being over external pressures. He also discusses the challenges of navigating the entertainment industry, where loyalty can be scarce, and the need to develop resilience and self-reliance.

The podcast concludes with Rylan's thoughts on friendship and the criteria he uses to determine who he allows into his inner circle. He emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with genuine and supportive individuals who are there for the right reasons, rather than those who are merely seeking personal gain or validation.

Overall, the podcast episode provides valuable insights into Rylan's personal journey, his struggles with mental health, and his approach to overcoming adversity. His candidness and willingness to share his experiences offer a relatable and inspiring message for listeners facing similar challenges.

# Podcast Episode Summary: Rylan Clark: From Joke to High Performer

**Introduction**

* Rylan Clark, a popular British TV and radio broadcaster, opens up about his life and career in this candid interview.
* He shares his struggles with mental health and how he overcame a breakdown and serious depression.
* Rylan discusses his remarkable career journey, from his sudden rise to fame after appearing on X-Factor to his current success as a respected presenter and performer.

**Key Points**

* **Embracing the Joke:**

- In the early stages of his career, Rylan faced criticism and was often labeled as a "joke" act due to his flamboyant personality.
- Instead of being discouraged, Rylan embraced this label and used it to his advantage.
- He played up to the joke, which helped him stand out and gain popularity.

* **Navigating Criticism:**

- Rylan acknowledges that he still receives criticism, but he has learned to handle it with grace and humor.
- He believes that criticism can be beneficial as it keeps him grounded and reminds him that he's not invincible.
- Rylan finds satisfaction in converting critics into fans by showing them his true personality and talent.

* **The Importance of Hard Work:**

- Rylan emphasizes the importance of hard work and dedication in achieving success.
- He explains that even though his job may seem glamorous, it requires constant effort and attention to detail.
- Rylan believes that his willingness to work hard has been instrumental in his success.

* **The Art of Reinvention:**

- Rylan's career has been marked by a series of reinventions, from reality TV star to radio presenter to Eurovision host.
- He attributes his ability to adapt and reinvent himself to his willingness to take risks and embrace new challenges.
- Rylan believes that staying stagnant can hinder growth and fulfillment.

* **The Pursuit of Happiness:**

- Rylan admits that he is still on a journey to find true happiness.
- He believes that happiness lies in finding the right balance between personal and professional life.
- Rylan emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive people who appreciate you for who you are.

**Conclusion**

Rylan Clark's story is an inspiring example of resilience, self-acceptance, and the power of hard work. His ability to overcome adversity, embrace criticism, and reinvent himself has led to a remarkable career and a newfound sense of purpose and fulfillment. Rylan's journey serves as a reminder that true success comes from within and that it is never too late to make a positive change in one's life.

## Summary of the Podcast Episode: Rylan Clark and Ross: Two Sides of the Same Coin

### Introduction:

- The podcast episode features Rylan Clark, a popular British television and radio broadcaster, who opens up about his personal struggles and the challenges he faced in his career.


- Rylan emphasizes the distinction between his public persona, Rylan, and his private self, Ross, highlighting the internal conflict he experienced trying to balance the two.


### Rylan's Journey:

- Rylan discusses his sudden rise to fame after appearing on the X-Factor, acknowledging that he was initially perceived as a "joke" in the industry.


- He reflects on how he turned this perception into a successful 10-year career, showcasing his resilience and adaptability.


- Rylan shares his experience of dealing with criticism and negativity, emphasizing the importance of self-belief and perseverance.


### Overcoming Breakdown and Depression:

- Rylan candidly shares his struggles with breakdown and depression, emphasizing the significance of taking small steps towards recovery.


- He highlights the power of micro-achievements in rebuilding self-confidence and regaining control of one's life.


### Rylan's Advice and Insights:

- Rylan stresses the importance of focusing on internal success rather than external validation.


- He encourages listeners to stand up for those who have been treated unfairly and to use their platform to make a positive impact.


- Rylan reflects on his meteoric rise to fame, acknowledging that it came with its own set of challenges and complexities.


- He emphasizes the need for authenticity and staying true to oneself, even in the face of adversity.


### High-Performance and Gratitude:

- The episode explores the concept of high performance, defining it as a commitment to daily basic tasks that lead to remarkable achievements.


- Rylan's story exemplifies this principle, demonstrating how small, consistent actions can lead to extraordinary outcomes.


- The discussion emphasizes the importance of gratitude, appreciating the simple things in life, and recognizing the support of loved ones.


### James Devely's Story of Resilience:

- The podcast also features James Devely, a former health and physical education teacher and football coach who faced a life-changing diagnosis of stage three bowel cancer.


- James shares his experience of undergoing multiple surgeries and dealing with the physical and emotional challenges of his illness.


- He highlights the importance of seeking support from family and friends during difficult times and emphasizes the power of gratitude in finding strength and resilience.


### Conclusion:

- The episode concludes with a message of encouragement, reminding listeners that success is not limited to external achievements but is found in the pursuit of personal growth and fulfillment.


- Rylan emphasizes the importance of remaining humble, curious, and empathetic, recognizing that true success lies in making a positive impact on the world.

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[02:37.360 -> 02:41.360] for details before we start please be advised that there is some bad language
[02:41.360 -> 02:45.400] and there are themes of trauma and suicide in this conversation.
[02:47.000 -> 03:07.840] Hi there, I'm Jay Comfrey. This is High Performance, the podcast that reminds you that it's within your ambition, your purpose, your story are all there. We just help unlock it by turning the lived experiences of the planet's highest performers into your life lessons. And once again, this episode is about you suspending your opinion and coming at it with empathy. The person that we're
[03:07.840 -> 03:11.220] talking to today you no doubt have an opinion about them. You've seen the
[03:11.220 -> 03:15.780] stories, you've read the articles, but none of those represent who this person
[03:15.780 -> 03:22.080] is because behind Rylan is a guy called Ross and that is who we're talking to
[03:22.080 -> 03:28.520] today. Everyone thinks Rylan is this character on X Factor.
[03:28.520 -> 03:30.360] And I walked into Celebrity Big Brother
[03:30.360 -> 03:31.560] and I was just being myself.
[03:31.560 -> 03:33.000] I'd sit there with no makeup on,
[03:33.000 -> 03:35.200] hand down me trousers, being mates with Razor Ruddock
[03:35.200 -> 03:37.720] and Frankie Dottore, sitting there drinking beer,
[03:37.720 -> 03:39.280] taking the piss out of Caffee Bill
[03:39.280 -> 03:40.360] because we found it funny.
[03:40.360 -> 03:42.600] Like, you know, that's what it was.
[03:42.600 -> 03:44.600] And then people just went,
[03:44.600 -> 03:47.920] oh, he's not this idiot singing a Spice Girls mega mix
[03:47.920 -> 03:51.480] flying down from a trellis in the ceiling.
[03:51.480 -> 03:52.840] It's actually quite normal.
[03:53.920 -> 03:55.400] You know, I didn't want to see anyone.
[03:55.400 -> 03:57.160] I hadn't left the house.
[03:57.160 -> 03:58.840] I became really agoraphobic.
[03:58.840 -> 04:00.280] My mum called Ruth and Eamon,
[04:01.680 -> 04:04.720] and they turned up at my house,
[04:04.720 -> 04:06.800] and I didn't want to see them. And I just remember breaking down, going, just get out, I don't want to see house and I didn't want to see them and I just
[04:06.800 -> 04:09.120] remember breaking down going just get out I don't want to see anyone I don't
[04:09.120 -> 04:11.400] see one they'd driven two hours to get there
[04:11.400 -> 04:16.160] all of this but they did that they did that not because it's going on
[04:16.160 -> 04:19.600] Instagram the following morning not because they're gonna get kudos from
[04:19.600 -> 04:23.200] people because they've put it on Twitter for likes they did that because they
[04:23.200 -> 04:25.040] cared so a fascinating episode of high performance at the start of 2023 once because they've put it on Twitter for likes. They did that because they cared.
[04:25.040 -> 04:29.800] So a fascinating episode of High Performance at the start of 2023. Once again, it's someone
[04:29.800 -> 04:33.960] who has been interviewed numerous times, who you've probably heard from many times, but
[04:33.960 -> 04:37.920] you've never heard them talk like this. They've not done an interview with these kinds of
[04:37.920 -> 04:42.640] questions before. And that's what this podcast is all about. Taking the lessons that Ryland
[04:42.640 -> 04:45.720] has learned in his life and making them useful
[04:45.720 -> 04:50.400] for you. And if you're sitting there going, Ryland, high performance, he's over 10 years
[04:50.400 -> 04:55.360] at the top of the TV game. And I know from personal experience how hard that is. So how
[04:55.360 -> 05:00.000] has he done that? What have been his behaviours? What have been his struggles? Ryland will
[05:00.000 -> 05:04.240] talk to us in incredible detail about coming back from a breakdown. And when you were as
[05:04.240 -> 05:07.680] low as he was, and you got back, and you managed to find yourself
[05:07.680 -> 05:11.040] again, then that truly is high performance.
[05:11.040 -> 05:16.000] When you live a life where you speak up for people who are being disregarded or discriminated
[05:16.000 -> 05:18.340] against, that is high performance.
[05:18.340 -> 05:22.000] When you bring a rare and special energy to the room and to the conversation like Ryland
[05:22.000 -> 05:25.740] did, then that is also high performance. Prepare
[05:25.740 -> 05:30.740] to learn so much more about a person that perhaps you already thought you knew. Today,
[05:30.740 -> 05:34.180] we talk to Ryland on the High Performance Podcast.
[05:34.180 -> 05:45.040] Look, thank you very much for doing this. It's a pleasure. It's much appreciated. What
[05:45.040 -> 05:49.480] is high performance? It's a difficult question, isn't it? Yeah. I think it depends on what
[05:49.480 -> 05:54.960] mood I wake up in. High performance can be actually getting out of bed, or high performance
[05:54.960 -> 06:00.280] can be getting up and proper taking on the day. What is it today? I'll let you know in
[06:00.280 -> 06:06.320] a minute. Okay. Let's talk about where it all started for you because I've read your
[06:06.320 -> 06:11.160] book, we both have, it's absolutely fascinating and you've got chapters where you say Ross
[06:11.160 -> 06:16.720] meet Rylan and Rylan meet Ross. Yeah. So the first thing I guess, who are we talking to
[06:16.720 -> 06:20.280] today? Who do you want? I think we'd like to talk to Ross. Alright, you've got Ross
[06:20.280 -> 06:25.360] then. And is it that easy for you to switch between the two? Absolutely. So
[06:25.360 -> 06:32.160] who is Ross then? Just a normal boy, literally. Normal little Stepney Green kid, managed to
[06:32.160 -> 06:39.160] do alright for himself. Ryland's obviously all the teeth, the tan, the tight skinny jeans,
[06:39.160 -> 06:46.000] that's Ryland. Ross's tracksuit, beer in hand, hand down his trousers, watching telly. Who of the two is the happiest?
[06:46.000 -> 06:51.000] That's a really difficult... Ryland. Ryland's the happiest, 100%.
[06:51.000 -> 06:53.000] Because he's got to be, he's paid to be happy.
[06:53.000 -> 06:56.400] There's something in that though, isn't there? Because Ryland is the happy one.
[06:56.400 -> 06:59.600] He's the one paid to be happy. Ryland, I guess, is the one earning all the money, right?
[06:59.600 -> 07:01.400] Yeah. Ryland's doing well all right for himself.
[07:01.400 -> 07:06.000] Ryland's doing very well. Yet, Ross is there all the time, Ross is the truth.
[07:06.000 -> 07:08.000] You know, when all of this,
[07:08.000 -> 07:10.000] we both do the same job, but let's be totally frank
[07:10.000 -> 07:12.000] eventually this stops, okay?
[07:12.000 -> 07:14.000] Fades away.
[07:14.000 -> 07:16.000] And that's when actually the only thing that is left then is Ross.
[07:16.000 -> 07:18.000] So,
[07:18.000 -> 07:20.000] what work have you done to
[07:20.000 -> 07:22.000] make Ross happier? Because that's the
[07:22.000 -> 07:24.000] most important part.
[07:24.000 -> 07:30.960] I think mainly over the past year I've tried to merge my work and professional life and
[07:30.960 -> 07:35.800] my personal life more. For Ross, I mean I sound absolutely crazy talking about myself
[07:35.800 -> 07:43.320] in a third person with four people, but I think for Ross I don't think I will ever be
[07:43.320 -> 07:47.600] happy until I feel comfortable. and I think Ryland's
[07:47.600 -> 07:52.320] very very comfortable with where he is. I think when it comes down to my work life
[07:52.320 -> 07:55.960] I'm lucky to do the jobs that I do, I work hard at the stuff that I do and I
[07:55.960 -> 08:02.760] earn amazing money for it which I'm grateful for and that spills over to the
[08:02.760 -> 08:07.460] real me. Ross means I can live in a nice house, it means I haven't got to worry about my heating bill
[08:07.460 -> 08:10.120] this year, I haven't got to worry about this.
[08:10.120 -> 08:13.040] But in a very ungrateful term,
[08:13.040 -> 08:17.080] it's not just about that for Ross, like absolutely not.
[08:17.080 -> 08:19.960] You know, I'd like to be with someone,
[08:19.960 -> 08:22.360] I'd like to share, I'm quite a sharer,
[08:22.360 -> 08:30.800] I like giving to people, I like looking after people and for the past sort of year and a half I've been not doing that
[08:30.800 -> 08:34.080] and for the first time Ross has had to be on his own. I've never been on my own,
[08:34.080 -> 08:38.840] I've never lived on my own in my life, I'm 34. Coming to terms with living on
[08:38.840 -> 08:42.360] my own and getting to know me I think has actually been the best thing that
[08:42.360 -> 08:47.200] that could have happened. I went to Barcelona this year, it's the first time I'd ever been anywhere on my own
[08:47.200 -> 08:52.080] just the three days because I knew I had to do it. I knew that that was my time
[08:52.080 -> 08:57.160] to disappear on my own and throw myself in at the deep end. A lot of people do
[08:57.160 -> 09:01.880] that daily, I've never done that and it was best thing I ever did, it was the best
[09:01.880 -> 09:09.200] thing I ever did. So tell us the moment you get into your hotel room in Barcelona, you close the door and it's just you and you.
[09:09.200 -> 09:13.200] I actually remember this almost like a film. I try and remember like scenes.
[09:13.200 -> 09:20.200] And I put my suitcase on the bed and the first thing I do whenever I'm in a hotel, I am that bloke.
[09:20.200 -> 09:26.600] I hang everything up, put everything away, the suitcase goes in the suitcase rack like I like linear
[09:26.600 -> 09:30.640] I like it without that and I did that and it was just silence and
[09:31.520 -> 09:34.900] I was like looking around and I was like, I've got two options. I
[09:35.420 -> 09:40.600] Can either sit here and think I'm by myself. I'm panicking. I don't know what to do or
[09:40.920 -> 09:48.720] I look at it as you can do whatever you want to do as quick or as slow or
[09:48.720 -> 09:52.960] you don't it's entirely up to you I can do what I want and I just thought well I
[09:52.960 -> 09:56.480] can do what I want I want to go for a walk it's something I don't do here and
[09:56.480 -> 10:00.840] I walked from one end of Barcelona to the other halfway through I took my top
[10:00.840 -> 10:09.680] off I never do that here didn't care did not care it was almost like cementing that I am still a normal person and I can do
[10:09.680 -> 10:13.840] normal things if I really wanted. So let's talk then about where this normal
[10:13.840 -> 10:18.480] life disappeared for you I mean I sometimes wonder whether meteoric
[10:18.480 -> 10:23.800] success is healthy for anyone is it possible to have meteoric success and
[10:23.800 -> 10:26.040] enjoy it be happy be healthy in your
[10:26.040 -> 10:32.940] mind? I think so, yeah. For me I became famous overnight. Literally within three minutes
[10:32.940 -> 10:39.680] of one piece of television, that was it. That's the place I started is documented, like it's
[10:39.680 -> 10:45.320] there. And that's not to say before that I wasn't working towards stuff because
[10:43.720 -> 10:49.240] clearly I was otherwise I wouldn't have been
[10:45.320 -> 10:54.480] in that situation but to go from being
[10:49.240 -> 10:57.480] able to walk down a street and look like
[10:54.480 -> 11:02.040] shit after a night out and go and get
[10:57.480 -> 11:04.920] some milk to doing that and it ending up
[11:02.040 -> 11:06.680] in Heat magazine ending up here people
[11:04.920 -> 11:05.300] stopping you asking you for photos yeah doing that and it ending up in Heat Magazine, ending up here, people stopping
[11:05.300 -> 11:08.880] you, asking you for photos. Yeah it's quite difficult but my feet weren't
[11:08.880 -> 11:12.360] touching the ground at that point because I was on I was on the X-Factor
[11:12.360 -> 11:17.880] and that was a complete machine and by the word machine I mean machine. You are
[11:17.880 -> 11:21.920] a part of that machine that has to keep turning around and there's been a lot
[11:21.920 -> 11:25.760] over the past couple of years about sort of safeguarding
[11:25.760 -> 11:30.560] people that come from reality tv and and really sad things that have happened which I completely
[11:31.520 -> 11:35.440] understand like and it's devastating stuff that sometimes people have taken their own lives
[11:35.440 -> 11:41.520] because they don't know how to handle it and aftercare and things like that but for me that
[11:41.520 -> 11:47.000] cog kept turning so I didn't know what it was like for the machine to
[11:47.000 -> 11:53.440] stop working and have that sort of brick wall moment. So for nine years the cogs
[11:53.440 -> 11:57.320] kept turning and they never stopped if anything they started going faster and
[11:57.320 -> 12:02.320] they started getting bigger and they started becoming more lucrative I suppose
[12:02.320 -> 12:06.020] is the best way to put it. And then a year ago I
[12:06.020 -> 12:11.220] had a marriage breakdown which turned into a mental breakdown for me and that
[12:11.220 -> 12:14.580] was the first time that the machine started to make the noise, slowed down
[12:14.580 -> 12:19.140] and stopped and I was the one pressing the emergency stop button and I knew I
[12:19.140 -> 12:21.580] was the only one pressing the button but I couldn't take my finger off the button.
[12:21.580 -> 12:29.940] So for five months I just stopped and shut down and I think my marriage ending was the catalyst for the
[12:29.940 -> 12:36.340] machine stopping but actually nine years of never stopping and never having time
[12:36.340 -> 12:40.740] to breathe and actually understand what happened to me? How did this happen?
[12:40.740 -> 12:44.980] Everything I wanted, how did that happen? When you've got time to think it can be
[12:44.980 -> 12:46.280] the most frightening place in the world,
[12:46.280 -> 12:51.120] your own head. And that's what happened to me and it fucked me up. Yeah, it fucked me up.
[12:51.120 -> 12:57.120] I mean, the description in your book around that breakdown is really quite harrowing to read.
[12:57.120 -> 13:02.200] But there's a bit where you precipitated the breakdown in terms of the way,
[13:02.200 -> 13:10.640] so when you went to your partner and told him about an infidelity in the past, how much can you now look back at your
[13:10.640 -> 13:16.040] subconscious was almost looking for to press that emergency stop? My subconscious
[13:16.040 -> 13:25.960] has always been spot-on and what really messed me up is why I would throw
[13:23.560 -> 13:29.240] a bomb on something that I didn't need
[13:25.960 -> 13:31.440] to or have to. There was no worry,
[13:29.240 -> 13:33.440] there was there was nothing really that
[13:31.440 -> 13:34.840] happened, like it wasn't a big deal to
[13:33.440 -> 13:37.560] be perfect on this without going into
[13:34.840 -> 13:39.280] detail, but something in me was itching
[13:37.560 -> 13:40.880] and started scratching and it was over
[13:39.280 -> 13:42.640] the course of three days I got ill.
[13:40.880 -> 13:45.040] I remember waking up and the bed was
[13:42.640 -> 13:46.440] soaked wet because I'd be
[13:44.600 -> 13:48.280] sweating in my sleep and I knew what was
[13:46.440 -> 13:50.040] coming and I could feel it just bubbling
[13:48.280 -> 13:52.360] up and I'm going what the fuck is wrong
[13:50.040 -> 13:54.240] with you? Why are you doing this? Why why
[13:52.360 -> 13:57.560] are you doing this? Why are you? It was almost
[13:54.240 -> 13:59.960] like self-sabotage. Yeah. And that's what
[13:57.560 -> 14:04.080] made that following few months even
[13:59.960 -> 14:08.160] worse because I couldn't understand why I had blown up my seemingly amazing life
[14:08.160 -> 14:13.640] and then as I started to get better my subconscious kicks back in and then I
[14:13.640 -> 14:19.320] learned stuff that I needed to learn. Like what? Just knowledge. When someone says
[14:19.320 -> 14:23.520] that you're crazy and you're mad and that you're making shit up you start
[14:23.520 -> 14:27.280] believing that if it's said to your life. When you realize the day that you're mad and that you're making shit up you start believing that if it said to
[14:24.560 -> 14:29.120] you life when you realize the day that
[14:27.280 -> 14:32.840] you're not mad you wasn't going crazy and
[14:29.120 -> 14:36.600] your subconscious is right you
[14:32.840 -> 14:38.680] wake up and for the worst point of my
[14:36.600 -> 14:41.320] life and I got to the lowest point that
[14:38.680 -> 14:44.400] anyone can get I almost look back now
[14:41.320 -> 14:47.320] and I'm glad that I got there because
[14:44.400 -> 14:46.560] now I know I'll never
[14:46.560 -> 14:50.560] let myself get to that point again. So tell us what was that lowest point? I
[14:50.560 -> 14:57.200] tried to take my own life, I tried to do it twice, looking back now whenever I even
[14:57.200 -> 15:02.000] talk about that, which is something I don't really talk about, I'm glad I was
[15:02.000 -> 15:07.540] unsuccessful now but at the time I was so angry that I was unsuccessful and I just remembered
[15:07.540 -> 15:09.540] I'd be going to sleep and
[15:09.840 -> 15:11.600] Just willing
[15:11.600 -> 15:14.560] Myself not to wake up almost I'm six foot four
[15:14.560 -> 15:16.660] I went down to nine stone like I wasn't eating I was dead
[15:16.660 -> 15:20.380] I was trying to do everything I could for my body to just naturally shut down
[15:21.040 -> 15:24.480] Basically because then it won't be my fault. I had too much
[15:27.280 -> 15:32.800] shut down basically because then it won't be my fault. I had too much guilt already with fucking up my life. I thought that I'd ruined everything. So if I thought if it was a natural
[15:32.800 -> 15:37.840] thing that I just didn't wake up in the morning then it's not my fault. I think it was responsibility.
[15:37.840 -> 15:40.880] I didn't need any more responsibility than I'd already took. All I've done
[15:41.760 -> 15:47.920] for throughout my career, my marriage, my everything, I took responsibility for everything. If the sky's broke I'll go
[15:47.920 -> 15:52.080] and fix it, if that door don't work I'll go and fix it, like that I'm always the
[15:52.080 -> 15:56.880] fixer, the responsible one. I just didn't want any more responsibility and then
[15:56.880 -> 16:01.000] when I made the decision to be responsible for something as awful as
[16:01.000 -> 16:06.080] that, I fucked that up as well. I was I was just in no state to get anything done.
[16:06.080 -> 16:06.960] And how are you doing now?
[16:07.920 -> 16:10.160] Brilliant. Really good.
[16:10.160 -> 16:13.920] So what happened? When did the clouds start to part?
[16:13.920 -> 16:21.040] The clouds started to part when I realized that I hadn't lost something I thought I had.
[16:22.080 -> 16:27.260] And I turned a situation that I thought was an awful
[16:27.260 -> 16:36.600] situation into an opportunity. You know I was 33, 34, just turned at the time and I
[16:36.600 -> 16:41.800] realized that when something's not right it's not right and it wasn't right and
[16:41.800 -> 16:47.160] that's when things started changing and I started looking at different things as opportunities to sit there and go
[16:47.160 -> 16:50.440] maybe this is my time now to find out what I actually want,
[16:50.440 -> 16:52.400] what I need, who I am.
[16:52.400 -> 16:56.360] You see, like you've had an amazing career and we'll get on to talking about how and why you've
[16:56.360 -> 16:58.760] managed to sustain your success.
[16:58.760 -> 17:01.000] What did you say in your book, you say, you know,
[17:01.000 -> 17:03.360] started out as a joke and ten years later I'm still laughing.
[17:03.360 -> 17:09.160] We'll go into that in more detail but I think what is really interesting here is effectively
[17:09.160 -> 17:13.420] you didn't grow up right from the moment you appeared on that reality show. Ross disappeared
[17:13.420 -> 17:19.200] at that moment, you probably started to push him to one side before that but at that moment
[17:19.200 -> 17:25.640] it was 100% Ryland. So then there's no growth for Ross which is truly you, right? So you
[17:25.640 -> 17:30.160] standing in that hotel room saying to yourself, well I can do anything I want, I can go for
[17:30.160 -> 17:34.880] a walk, I can go for food, I can have a sleep, you know, that's what most people go through
[17:34.880 -> 17:39.720] at 18, 19 when they go to university and their mum and dad walk away for the first time.
[17:39.720 -> 17:44.560] Absolutely. So you've had to exist in this world where you haven't kind of grown because
[17:44.560 -> 17:45.320] the world hasn't allowed you to. But that in this world where you haven't kind of grown because the world
[17:45.320 -> 17:47.680] hasn't allowed you to.
[17:47.680 -> 17:50.480] But that in itself is really strange because if you go back to the beginning and you say
[17:50.480 -> 17:54.920] look at all these amazing things that you can do, you will be the happiest person in
[17:54.920 -> 17:57.600] the world with a partner and with an amazing TV career.
[17:57.600 -> 18:03.760] And actually, there's a strong lesson here for people that it's not about those external
[18:03.760 -> 18:05.100] successes about those external successes, about
[18:05.100 -> 18:09.140] those TV shows or about the nice house or the nice cars or the nice pay packet
[18:09.140 -> 18:12.740] that... And that's easy to say when you've got it, don't get me wrong, because I'd be one of
[18:12.740 -> 18:17.260] these people at home going... True! Shut up! But there's no moment where you go
[18:17.260 -> 18:20.860] now I can be happy because I've achieved this is there? No, no because I think when
[18:20.860 -> 18:27.000] you're an achiever if you want to call it that, are you ever happy?
[18:27.000 -> 18:29.580] Because you're always striving for more.
[18:29.580 -> 18:31.200] You're always striving for something else.
[18:31.200 -> 18:34.200] You're always striving for the best
[18:34.200 -> 18:36.240] or to be the best, I suppose.
[18:36.240 -> 18:39.720] And I think for me, I got a lot quick.
[18:39.720 -> 18:41.200] A lot happened for me.
[18:41.200 -> 18:43.360] I mean, a friend of mine's Emma Willis
[18:43.360 -> 18:49.320] and I worked with Emma at Big Brother for years and it took Emma to get bit on the side
[18:49.320 -> 18:54.960] years of working in MTV working in this doing that and then she got that show
[18:54.960 -> 19:00.040] which then led on to her hosting Big Brother. I left X Factor in the November
[19:00.040 -> 19:03.520] went into Celebrity Big Brother in January won it and was hosting bit on
[19:03.520 -> 19:09.080] the side by the June so it it took me six months. So these opportunities just happened.
[19:09.080 -> 19:11.480] But they didn't happen to Ross though did they? They happened to Ryland.
[19:11.480 -> 19:15.640] So Ryland was having amazing success, amazing growth, learning all the time,
[19:15.640 -> 19:20.600] brilliant relationships, incredible life. Ross was just parked away in a cupboard.
[19:20.600 -> 19:23.800] So in this period that you've been through where you've, you know,
[19:23.800 -> 19:27.520] you didn't have to say this to your partner, but you needed to say it to your partner,
[19:27.520 -> 19:32.240] to get out of that, to be where you are now sitting in this chair. So finally, like Ross
[19:32.240 -> 19:33.440] can actually grow again now.
[19:33.440 -> 19:38.920] Oh yeah, he is, I am. Like, I'm definitely growing. Like, again, stupid things, like
[19:38.920 -> 19:42.560] you say, most people go through at the age of 18, 19, 20. I'm going through at the age
[19:42.560 -> 19:49.040] of 34 now, living on my own for the first time. Up until X Factor I was living with my mum, then I was on tour,
[19:49.040 -> 19:53.360] then I was working, then I built my first house and my ex moved in with me. So I've
[19:53.360 -> 20:00.200] never lived in a house on my own. I'm doing that at 34 for the first time and
[20:00.200 -> 20:04.680] some people it takes until 34, but because of the last 10 years that I've
[20:04.680 -> 20:09.480] had it seems the wrong way around. so having that time alone has made me
[20:09.480 -> 20:14.840] realize that I'm alright with my own company and actually I'm alright I'm not
[20:14.840 -> 20:19.720] this fuck-up I'm not this idiot I'm not this joke I'm actually normal and I'm
[20:19.720 -> 20:26.120] I'm really happy who I am and I can look back at my mistakes if you want to call
[20:26.120 -> 20:32.240] them that and actually look at them as turning points of my life. Are they mistakes? No, I can
[20:32.240 -> 20:37.160] sleep well at night. So can I take you back then to that moment that you've
[20:37.160 -> 20:40.880] described where you considered taking your own life you were willing yourself
[20:40.880 -> 20:44.800] not to wake up in the morning and you and you're now in a position where you
[20:44.800 -> 20:46.600] can look back at it and go I'm really glad that that didn't happen and what yourself not to wake up in the morning and you've and you know in a position
[20:44.640 -> 20:48.440] where you can look back at it and go I'm
[20:46.600 -> 20:51.960] really glad that that didn't happen and
[20:48.440 -> 20:53.800] what I am stronger for it for
[20:51.960 -> 20:57.000] people that are listening to this that
[20:53.800 -> 21:00.320] maybe are approaching or at that
[20:57.000 -> 21:02.600] rock-bottom moment themselves what tips
[21:00.320 -> 21:04.920] advice or techniques can you share then
[21:02.600 -> 21:06.400] that that help them get to where you are
[21:04.920 -> 21:09.520] now where you can look back at it with gratitude? So I am NOT a guru I
[21:09.520 -> 21:14.920] am NOT someone who can change your life just by saying something but one thing
[21:14.920 -> 21:18.120] I've learned since I did the book is the amount of messages I've got from people
[21:18.120 -> 21:24.560] and the general consensus is I've tried to explain how I feel and the way that
[21:24.560 -> 21:26.080] you've done it on paper is exactly how I fucking feel that's tried to explain how I feel and the way that you've done it
[21:26.080 -> 21:32.540] on paper is exactly how I fucking feel. That's it. That's how I feel. I know that feeling
[21:32.540 -> 21:38.760] of people trying to help you and your loved ones like my mum, my family, my friends trying
[21:38.760 -> 21:47.980] to help me. People saying snap out of it ain't going to you but one thing I have learned I had therapy I was lucky enough that I could afford therapy I had
[21:47.980 -> 21:53.200] antidepressants they didn't work for me at first that's a very trial and error
[21:53.200 -> 21:56.760] thing I don't even take a paracetamol when I've got a headache like I like
[21:56.760 -> 22:00.860] just getting on with shit I did I was very anti all of that do I think they
[22:00.860 -> 22:07.920] helped me in the end yeah I think they. I'm not on them now I've managed to come off them which I'm really happy about but the one thing
[22:08.400 -> 22:14.600] That I know and I can say hand on heart is the only person who will get you out is you
[22:15.600 -> 22:22.720] 100% and if you're not at that point, that's alright sit there and stew feel like you can't get out of bed
[22:22.720 -> 22:24.720] Don't get ready. Don't have a shower
[22:22.940 -> 22:25.420] sit there and stew, feel like you can't get out of bed, don't get ready, don't have a shower.
[22:25.420 -> 22:26.620] That's what I did.
[22:26.620 -> 22:28.460] That's exactly what I was going through.
[22:28.460 -> 22:31.280] And I understand being in that situation,
[22:31.280 -> 22:34.300] you might as well be deaf and blind at the same time
[22:34.300 -> 22:36.820] because you cannot see and you cannot hear.
[22:36.820 -> 22:39.300] I had two weeks where my speech completely went slurred
[22:39.300 -> 22:40.700] and my mum thought I was having a stroke.
[22:40.700 -> 22:42.940] I could not control my speech.
[22:42.940 -> 22:44.900] Everything happened to me.
[22:44.900 -> 22:47.960] But what I look back on is
[22:47.960 -> 22:53.580] little things and it sounds really embarrassing and it sounds really condescending but you
[22:53.580 -> 22:58.600] need to look at yourself like a toddler. Going to the kitchen and pressing the button on
[22:58.600 -> 23:06.680] the kettle is a step. That sounds really ridiculous because it's something we do a million times a day. It's really not difficult. I
[23:07.400 -> 23:11.560] Couldn't make my mum a cup of tea. I had the fear I couldn't do it
[23:11.560 -> 23:14.680] I couldn't listen to music and I couldn't watch TV. They're my job
[23:15.040 -> 23:19.280] So I thought I was over the day that you go. I'm just gonna press the button
[23:19.280 -> 23:23.020] I'm not making the tea let it boil fuck it off the day you do that
[23:23.320 -> 23:25.680] That's a little step and the reason I say
[23:25.680 -> 23:28.920] toddler because you sit there and applaud yourself for that, you go well done babe,
[23:28.920 -> 23:31.880] well done, yeah, you know. You know what, it's really interesting you say this because
[23:31.880 -> 23:36.080] there's research, sorry to jump in there Rylan, but there's research on this that have said
[23:36.080 -> 23:41.520] that when you're going through a tough time, talking to yourself, exactly what you say
[23:41.520 -> 23:48.480] as if you're talking to a child, but talk to yourself in the third person. You're well done Ryland, you've done really well today.
[23:48.480 -> 23:52.680] Actually keeps you going, it gives you that resilience and fortitude.
[23:52.680 -> 23:57.840] It majorly helped me and I'll never forget showering which is something we all do, thrice a day,
[23:57.840 -> 24:02.640] once a day, four times a day, whatever. Yeah, fingers crossed. I remember I didn't want
[24:02.640 -> 24:11.240] to clean myself, I didn't want to shower, I just didn't want to move and I remember I didn't want to clean myself I didn't want to shower I just didn't want to move and I remember the first step another step on
[24:11.240 -> 24:15.960] that ladder I would turn the shower on and then go away and then turn it off
[24:15.960 -> 24:21.720] that's one step I turn the shower on I might just put my leg in and turn it off
[24:21.720 -> 24:25.800] go away gone and then later on I turned the shower on and
[24:25.800 -> 24:30.760] I remember the first, it sounds crazy but my mum was obviously on at me like you've
[24:30.760 -> 24:35.720] got to have a shower, come on sort yourself out, and I didn't want to make her upset and
[24:35.720 -> 24:40.120] I just went under the water, come out, you know like when you're faking it as a kid,
[24:40.120 -> 24:47.920] I'm like yeah I brush my teeth, like you know one of them, and come out in a towel and sort of pretended that I'd had a shower. I didn't wash myself
[24:47.920 -> 24:50.440] I didn't have shower gel didn't brush my hair
[24:51.440 -> 24:56.260] But that was a step and then a few days later after keep on doing that
[24:56.260 -> 24:59.180] I then did put bit of shampoo in my hair and then I did
[24:59.800 -> 25:09.120] Now I'm in fucking baths watching Captain Kim. Like do you know what I mean? Like it's it's these little steps and every single person is different and
[25:09.120 -> 25:15.000] there is no sadly magic wand to make these things happen but your mind is the
[25:15.000 -> 25:19.080] reason why you're there. There's circumstance, there's triggers, there's
[25:19.080 -> 25:24.080] everything. It could be trauma, it could be PTSD, it could be this but your mind is
[25:24.080 -> 25:25.920] the only person doing that.
[25:25.920 -> 25:32.560] And sometimes there is an issue, a medical issue, an imbalance with your head.
[25:32.560 -> 25:34.980] And if that's antidepressants that fix that, great.
[25:34.980 -> 25:37.260] If that's therapy that fixes that, great.
[25:37.260 -> 25:39.320] If it's neither, great.
[25:39.320 -> 25:42.160] But try and make the smallest of steps.
[25:42.160 -> 25:45.360] You don't need to make the cup of tea, you just need to press
[25:45.360 -> 25:47.520] the button today. That's all you need to do and walk away.
[25:47.520 -> 25:51.060] I think that's actually really powerful. And actually, it's a reminder that we still look
[25:51.060 -> 25:55.280] at mental health issues in a totally different way to physical issues. Because if you were
[25:55.280 -> 25:58.480] a footballer and you broke your leg, it would be totally normal to go, well, first of all
[25:58.480 -> 26:03.080] I was in the cast, then the cast came off, and then I had to sit down, then I could finally
[26:03.080 -> 26:06.760] stand and when I could stand I could walk and when I could walk I could run and then eventually I was back in full
[26:06.760 -> 26:10.680] training. Now everyone hearing that would go, yeah I get that, that's exactly the steps
[26:10.680 -> 26:15.400] that you take. When you're talking about a mental health problem, it's the same. It's
[26:15.400 -> 26:18.600] exactly the same and we have to change the conversation about it where we go, do you
[26:18.600 -> 26:22.720] know what, it's okay for you to have to sit on the sofa for a few days. You know, we're
[26:22.720 -> 26:28.600] not robots and we treat our bodies and our minds like we're robotic. Yet when our bodies break down, everyone goes
[26:28.600 -> 26:32.280] oh you'll be alright, yeah it's fine. When our brains break down, we don't talk about
[26:32.280 -> 26:35.840] it, we don't work out how to get through it. So thank you so much for sharing that.
[26:35.840 -> 26:40.340] Toby No, I wish I could say more but it literally
[26:40.340 -> 26:43.160] is the smallest baby step.
[26:43.160 -> 26:44.960] Steve But isn't it fine that the answer is actually
[26:44.960 -> 26:45.160] quite simple from your perspective because? is the smallest baby step. But isn't it fine that the answer is actually quite
[26:45.160 -> 26:49.160] simple from your perspective because? Yeah it's incredibly simple but when
[26:49.160 -> 26:53.640] you're in that situation and when you're feeling that low opening your eyes is
[26:53.640 -> 26:59.560] tough let alone moving your arms just opening your eyes can be the hardest
[26:59.560 -> 27:02.920] thing in the world just press the button that's what we need to do today tomorrow
[27:02.920 -> 27:06.160] think about pouring the water. But I'm particularly struck by
[27:06.160 -> 27:08.560] the technique that you described of
[27:08.560 -> 27:11.480] talking just kindly to yourself like a
[27:11.480 -> 27:13.480] toddler and I'm interested have you
[27:13.480 -> 27:15.960] maintained that in your recovery? I actually
[27:15.960 -> 27:18.200] have and especially living alone as well. I
[27:18.200 -> 27:21.360] noticed the other day like there's this
[27:21.360 -> 27:22.840] pheasant that keeps running around my
[27:22.840 -> 27:29.240] garden and I've named it Patrice clearly I've got a lot of time on my hands and I will get I got up this
[27:29.240 -> 27:33.800] morning and I went into my kitchen I was making a coffee and I looked out the
[27:33.800 -> 27:38.400] window and I saw the pheasant like by like the little water fountain and out
[27:38.400 -> 27:42.320] loud not just the voice in my head, out loud I've gone oh there he is little
[27:42.320 -> 27:45.280] fucker but I said it rather than
[27:45.280 -> 27:49.440] think it and I don't think there's anything wrong with that because I'd say
[27:49.440 -> 27:53.760] it if someone was there no one is there but actually I quite like a little chat
[27:53.760 -> 27:57.160] with myself every now and again so I actually like it. So have you got an
[27:57.160 -> 28:01.400] example you can share with us Rylan where maybe something's gone wrong that
[28:01.400 -> 28:06.180] yeah that before your illness might have seemed catastrophic
[28:06.180 -> 28:10.440] now you can put it in perspective oh my god how you've taught yourself through
[28:10.440 -> 28:16.040] it now that would be different I think before before I went through my episode
[28:16.040 -> 28:21.200] if you like things would really bug me things would really get to me and it was
[28:21.200 -> 28:28.040] normally nine times out of ten work sort of me feeling hard done done by, me feeling there's an injustice here, like me
[28:28.040 -> 28:30.480] feeling like I've worked towards something and then been overlooked for
[28:30.480 -> 28:35.560] something. And coming out the other side of this I used to feel like that was the
[28:35.560 -> 28:42.440] worst thing in the world but now I hate the term because it's such a cliche term
[28:42.440 -> 28:50.320] but it's a full-on case of don't sweat the small stuff genuinely because I think when you've been to the brink whatever you
[28:50.320 -> 28:53.920] want to call it you sit there and go oh they're looking at someone else for that
[28:53.920 -> 29:00.200] job yeah ourselves all right so I can't do this instead you see you said
[29:00.200 -> 29:03.400] something interesting as we were walking in we were talking about a job that we
[29:03.400 -> 29:08.440] won't name but you said look I have to accept that I can't control
[29:08.440 -> 29:11.600] their decisions. I can't control anyone else's. And it feels like maybe before the
[29:11.600 -> 29:14.560] period you've just been through, you were trying to control everyone's decision.
[29:14.560 -> 29:21.120] Yeah, I think I would sit there and worry that, oh okay, well clearly this is
[29:21.120 -> 29:23.880] gonna happen, yeah, this is gonna happen, yeah, then when I knew it wasn't I'd be
[29:23.880 -> 29:25.480] like, well what can I do, what can I do to change it, what can I
[29:25.480 -> 29:30.880] do to change it? I believe we can change stuff 100% but ultimately it genuinely
[29:30.880 -> 29:33.440] feels like a weight off my shoulders because I sit there and go well alright.
[29:33.440 -> 29:40.520] I just remind myself listen that's not gonna happen, not a problem,
[29:40.520 -> 29:45.680] you're alright, you're alright babe, you've got you've got your health, you've got your house, you've got your car, you've got some money in the bank, you're alright, you're alright babe, you've got, you've got
[29:43.600 -> 29:47.160] your health, you've got your house, you've
[29:45.680 -> 29:49.320] got your car, you've got some money in the
[29:47.160 -> 29:52.320] bank, you're alright, like that's my
[29:49.320 -> 29:53.560] comfort to know that I'm secure, that's
[29:52.320 -> 29:54.800] all I ever want in life and I think it's
[29:53.560 -> 29:56.200] all anyone really wants in life, just
[29:54.800 -> 29:57.760] know they're secure, whether that's in a
[29:56.200 -> 29:59.440] relationship, whether it's financially,
[29:57.760 -> 30:00.840] whether it's family, whether it's health,
[29:59.440 -> 30:04.200] anything like that, you just want to be
[30:00.840 -> 30:06.680] secure in those aspects and I am
[30:04.200 -> 30:05.040] lucky that I be secure in
[30:01.560 -> 30:08.600] those aspects and I am lucky that I am
[30:05.040 -> 30:10.480] secure in a lot of aspects of my life. The
[30:08.600 -> 30:13.120] one thing I'm not securing is a
[30:10.480 -> 30:14.640] relationship at the moment but I'm having
[30:13.120 -> 30:16.960] a relationship with myself at the
[30:14.640 -> 30:19.480] moment that I've never had and maybe I
[30:16.960 -> 30:21.960] need to do that for me. So when you leave
[30:19.480 -> 30:25.360] the house now then, so coming here today,
[30:21.960 -> 30:25.700] do you have a
[30:24.020 -> 30:28.280] different approach then to putting on your
[30:25.700 -> 30:31.160] Ryland mask as opposed to turning on?
[30:28.280 -> 30:33.320] Yeah, do you know what? This is something
[30:31.160 -> 30:35.240] I've been thinking about lately. So today
[30:33.320 -> 30:38.120] for instance, we've done a 10 o'clock
[30:35.240 -> 30:39.720] start this morning, so I leave my my
[30:38.120 -> 30:42.680] house with more than enough time that I
[30:39.720 -> 30:45.200] know, get on the M11, there's traffic and I'm
[30:42.680 -> 30:45.160] like right, always a bit traffic on the M11 there's traffic and I'm
[30:42.720 -> 30:46.840] like right always a bit traffic on the
[30:45.160 -> 30:48.480] M11 it's not a problem but the
[30:46.840 -> 30:51.120] traffic's getting back up and back up
[30:48.480 -> 30:55.200] and back up now normally I would be that
[30:51.120 -> 30:57.600] person but again I can't
[30:55.200 -> 31:00.240] control it I can't control that traffic
[30:57.600 -> 31:02.200] so if I'm 10 minutes late if I'm
[31:00.240 -> 31:04.280] half-hour late if I'm an hour late it's
[31:02.200 -> 31:06.440] not great I don't like being late it's
[31:04.280 -> 31:09.480] a pet peeve of mine and I wasn't late just to let you know. But before I
[31:09.480 -> 31:14.000] would get so frustrated and so wound up, I was at the airport the other day and a
[31:14.000 -> 31:18.400] flight was cancelled and I knew my flight was gonna be cancelled and the
[31:18.400 -> 31:22.960] panic started going... but then I just stopped myself and it's almost like that
[31:22.960 -> 31:27.200] little cut off before it pulls over. How do you do that? Because people listening to this will be
[31:27.200 -> 31:32.320] struggling with that moment, the cutoff moment. So I sit there and go stop in my
[31:32.320 -> 31:36.760] head, in my head, not out loud at the airport because then people do look. I
[31:36.760 -> 31:43.600] went stop a minute, right if this flight's cancelled I'm gonna miss that
[31:43.600 -> 31:46.360] which is sad but it's fine and all I need to do, right I've got I've got my this flight's cancelled, I'm gonna miss
[31:42.760 -> 31:49.240] that, which is sad, but it's fine and
[31:46.360 -> 31:50.840] all I need to do, right I've got, I've got my
[31:49.240 -> 31:53.400] credit card on me, I've got my business
[31:50.840 -> 31:55.480] card on me, I'll just book a hotel, I'll
[31:53.400 -> 31:58.440] stay in a hotel, I've got clean underwear
[31:55.480 -> 32:01.400] in my back, like I just, I try and go, what
[31:58.440 -> 32:02.920] do I do? Or is there another avenue?
[32:01.400 -> 32:04.640] Is there another airline? Is there
[32:02.920 -> 32:06.680] another this? What do I, what do I do? So I
[32:04.640 -> 32:05.280] work out the solution to the problem is there another avenue? Is there another airline? Is there another
[32:02.880 -> 32:07.120] this? What do I do? So I work out
[32:05.280 -> 32:08.800] the solution to the problem before the
[32:07.120 -> 32:12.000] problems really hit. Can you cope with the worst-case
[32:08.800 -> 32:13.280] scenario? If the answer's yes, done. It's
[32:12.000 -> 32:14.720] that simple. I'm so pleased you're saying
[32:13.280 -> 32:16.560] this because we have this conversation
[32:14.720 -> 32:18.800] a lot on this podcast, you know, because
[32:16.560 -> 32:20.280] I think we're called high performance and
[32:18.800 -> 32:22.480] I think some people feel that that
[32:20.280 -> 32:24.800] means to listen to this you need to want
[32:22.480 -> 32:26.320] to be a millionaire or a CEO or an
[32:24.800 -> 32:27.640] Olympian or something. All we're saying to people is right we've
[32:27.640 -> 32:30.960] actually worked high performance down into three sentences do the best you can
[32:30.960 -> 32:35.360] where you are with what you've got. Absolutely. Feel something like you've
[32:35.360 -> 32:38.360] you've had your eyes opened to doing the best you can where you are with what
[32:38.360 -> 32:41.080] you've got what more can anyone ask of you? My god I feel like I've gone from
[32:41.080 -> 32:52.200] Stevie Wonder to Spexhavers like that's the best way to describe it. I feel like I've gone from Stevie Wonder to Specsavers. Like, that's the best way to describe it. I feel like I've lived so long with just not seeing anything in front of me
[32:52.200 -> 32:56.600] and just grabbing and doing and living.
[32:56.600 -> 32:57.600] Yeah.
[32:57.600 -> 32:59.000] But was I really living it?
[32:59.000 -> 33:02.000] I work on Strictly. I've done that for four years.
[33:02.000 -> 33:04.600] Things can become routine to you.
[33:04.600 -> 33:05.400] I will now go to
[33:05.400 -> 33:11.000] work and I will sit there and go, our jobs we're lucky to do what we do but it
[33:11.000 -> 33:15.920] is work and everyone has got the right whether you're getting paid two pound or
[33:15.920 -> 33:20.240] two million pound to sit there and go, I don't want to go to work today, I can't live without
[33:20.240 -> 33:30.800] going to work today, regardless of what it is and sometimes I think, oh I've got to go all the way there now, oh man. And then I go do you remember ten years ago? Do you remember when you would have
[33:30.800 -> 33:35.260] literally cut your leg off to be in the background of this let alone in the
[33:35.260 -> 33:41.200] foreground of this? So it's just remembering what it means to you and I
[33:41.200 -> 33:45.080] feel like that is quite a fuel for me. My schedule's all over the
[33:45.080 -> 33:48.680] shop and I will get to the point where I feel like I just want a day off, I just
[33:48.680 -> 33:54.000] want a day off. That's alright to think that. You haven't got to be grateful for
[33:54.000 -> 33:58.280] everything every single second of the day. It's alright to sit there and go
[33:58.280 -> 34:02.440] well you know I don't fucking care, get in someone else then. It's alright to do
[34:02.440 -> 34:09.280] that, it is alright to do that because we're all human and we're all normal people. My biggest lesson that I've learned when it
[34:09.280 -> 34:15.440] comes down to my career and it's took me 10 years to learn is that people can be your
[34:15.440 -> 34:28.760] colleagues but they're not necessarily your friends and that's no bad thing. And loyalty, when it comes
[34:24.560 -> 34:30.880] down to this industry, is very few and
[34:28.760 -> 34:32.480] far between when it comes down to
[34:30.880 -> 34:33.840] companies, when it comes down to
[34:32.480 -> 34:36.880] individuals, when it comes down to
[34:33.840 -> 34:41.600] everything. But again, that's alright,
[34:36.880 -> 34:43.600] because it's what, what it is. You might
[34:41.600 -> 34:45.000] not be able to change what it is, but you
[34:43.600 -> 34:46.320] can always try and change your approach to how you deal with what it is. You might not be able to change what it is but you can always try and
[34:44.680 -> 34:48.840] change your approach to how you deal with
[34:46.320 -> 34:51.480] what it is and that's what I feel like
[34:48.840 -> 34:54.480] I'm doing now because I went to a shit
[34:51.480 -> 34:56.880] place that I look at things and go I can't
[34:54.480 -> 34:59.040] control that, what can I do? I can
[34:56.880 -> 35:01.520] either sit here for the next three days
[34:59.040 -> 35:04.400] slagging everyone off, calling everyone a
[35:01.520 -> 35:11.640] bastard and saying he's a prick that one's a prick blah blah blah, winding myself up or I can sit there and go to Barcelona for three days
[35:11.640 -> 35:16.000] never walk back like I can't change what other people want to do and I can't
[35:16.000 -> 35:21.560] change what people want all I can do is try and grab what I want yeah and try
[35:21.560 -> 35:29.660] and grab it with both hands. So your comment there around colleagues and friends is an interesting one because in your book you've got
[35:29.660 -> 35:34.040] chapters where you've got people that are in the public eye like Claire from
[35:34.040 -> 35:38.200] Steps or you know you talk about Scott Mills and your friendship with him
[35:38.200 -> 35:44.760] yeah really deeply so I'm interested in terms of what's the criteria for you to
[35:44.760 -> 35:45.920] allow somebody into
[35:45.920 -> 35:48.760] your friendship group now rather than just being a colleague?
[35:48.760 -> 35:56.160] I feel that I can hand on heart say that I've got friends in this industry that I can count on one hand.
[35:56.160 -> 36:01.920] One hand is more than enough for me. If I had two, great. If I had two hands, not a problem.
[36:01.920 -> 36:10.720] I've got so many people in this industry, you both know what it's like that you'll see sporadically or see at an event or something like that
[36:10.720 -> 36:14.360] and be like, ah babe, where are you? Oh yeah, no, we're mates, dear, no, we know each other,
[36:14.360 -> 36:15.360] right?
[36:15.360 -> 36:18.200] It's that weird thing you also do where you've never met each other before but you know you're
[36:18.200 -> 36:20.960] both on the telly so you're like, hey, big cuddle, how's it going?
[36:20.960 -> 36:22.760] Oh, wow, it's so nice to see us as kids.
[36:22.760 -> 36:24.600] And people are like, do you know each other? You're like, no.
[36:24.600 -> 36:25.300] Never met them before.
[36:25.300 -> 36:25.800] Don't know their name.
[36:25.800 -> 36:26.300] No.
[36:26.300 -> 36:27.600] But that's fine.
[36:27.600 -> 36:29.800] That's part and parcel of the fun of it all.
[36:29.800 -> 36:30.800] It's a laugh.
[36:30.800 -> 36:37.600] But for me, the way that I work out who's a friend and who's an acquaintance or a colleague,
[36:37.600 -> 36:47.440] a friend is someone, like last year, when you're at your lowest lowest will try and do anything to help
[36:47.440 -> 36:52.000] you. So I remember you know I didn't want to see anyone I hadn't left the house I
[36:52.000 -> 36:59.120] became really agoraphobic my mum called Ruth and Eamon and they turned up at my
[36:59.120 -> 37:04.680] house and I mean Eamon got really upset because I was clearly visibly very sick
[37:04.680 -> 37:05.440] as did Ruth and I didn't want to see them and I just Eamon got really upset because I was clearly visibly very sick
[37:10.000 -> 37:13.280] as did Ruth and I didn't want to see them and I just remember breaking down going just get out I don't want to see anyone I don't want to see anyone they'd driven two hours to get there
[37:13.280 -> 37:18.560] blah blah all of this but they did that they did that not because it's going on Instagram the
[37:18.560 -> 37:22.800] following morning not because they're going to get kudos from people because they've put it on
[37:22.800 -> 37:27.400] Twitter for likes they did that because they cared they did that because they cared gonna get kudos from people because they've put it on Twitter for likes, they did that because they cared. They did that because they cared
[37:27.400 -> 37:30.720] about me and they're people that are friends and I would do the same when
[37:30.720 -> 37:34.440] Ruth lost her sister. Ruth's sister passed away and it was very unexpected and
[37:34.440 -> 37:37.560] really really upsetting. I was there for her. What did that do for you when they
[37:37.560 -> 37:42.080] came to your house? Reminded me there's life outside of the front door. I didn't
[37:42.080 -> 37:45.580] want it. That
[37:43.360 -> 37:47.980] reminded me that, fuck I was someone
[37:45.580 -> 37:49.000] before all of this shit. You forget that
[37:47.980 -> 37:50.800] you're a person when you're going
[37:49.000 -> 37:52.240] through that. You forget that you've got a
[37:50.800 -> 37:53.560] body, you forget that you've got a brain
[37:52.240 -> 37:55.800] and you forget that you've got a voice.
[37:53.560 -> 37:57.360] And they were obviously really, really
[37:55.800 -> 37:59.040] shocked at how I was speaking. Claire did
[37:57.360 -> 38:01.240] the same as well, my mum did it with Claire
[37:59.040 -> 38:03.400] as well, which is why they're both in my
[38:01.240 -> 38:04.800] book because they are, Claire's like my
[38:03.400 -> 38:06.920] sister, Ruth and Eamon are like my mum and
[38:04.800 -> 38:07.160] dad. That's literally what they are. But the
[38:07.160 -> 38:10.880] bit that you've just said there that concerns me in some ways for people
[38:10.880 -> 38:15.040] listening to this is that in the nine years prior to this where things are
[38:15.040 -> 38:20.520] going well for you that you've not had that chance to test the friendship group
[38:20.520 -> 38:24.480] so there must have been lots of people that are hangers-on or people that are
[38:24.480 -> 38:26.680] just there for the ride or there because
[38:26.680 -> 38:29.480] they wouldn't, they associated benefits
[38:29.480 -> 38:31.320] with knowing it. I couldn't see, I didn't
[38:31.320 -> 38:34.160] know what a red flag was. So like, we
[38:34.160 -> 38:35.920] sometimes use that phrase that people
[38:35.920 -> 38:37.340] are with you for seasons, reasons or
[38:37.340 -> 38:39.440] lifetimes. Yeah. How would you determine
[38:39.440 -> 38:41.840] then what other people can learn from
[38:41.840 -> 38:45.760] your experience? It's such a difficult question because like you said sometimes what other people can learn from your
[38:42.040 -> 38:47.600] experience? It's such a difficult
[38:45.760 -> 38:50.160] question because like you said, sometimes
[38:47.600 -> 38:52.880] I think you know, but you just let it
[38:50.160 -> 38:55.120] happen anyway. Sometimes I think you
[38:52.880 -> 38:56.840] really don't know if someone's there for
[38:55.120 -> 38:59.040] the wrong reasons and it hits you like a
[38:56.840 -> 39:03.200] baseball bat around the face, if you do
[38:59.040 -> 39:09.920] find out. I can only speak for waking up to actually what's going on around me and now I have no
[39:09.920 -> 39:15.600] problem with sitting there going this isn't good for me or this situation isn't good for
[39:15.600 -> 39:19.160] me, that person isn't good for me so I don't-
[39:19.160 -> 39:20.160] How do you determine that?
[39:20.160 -> 39:21.160] What other red flags do you look for?
[39:21.160 -> 39:24.000] Well it depends whether you're looking at someone that you're dating, it depends whether
[39:24.000 -> 39:25.040] you're looking at someone that you're dating, it depends whether
[39:24.000 -> 39:26.960] you're looking at someone that's your
[39:25.040 -> 39:29.800] friend, it depends whether it's someone
[39:26.960 -> 39:32.600] who's in your family, it depends on
[39:29.800 -> 39:35.040] circumstance. There's no formula, I don't
[39:32.600 -> 39:36.440] think, to sit there and go right so this
[39:35.040 -> 39:37.920] person is this, this, this and that, oh
[39:36.440 -> 39:39.840] no they're clearly in it for the wrong
[39:37.920 -> 39:41.240] reasons let's get rid of them. Well it's
[39:39.840 -> 39:44.160] interesting because when we spoke to Vicky
[39:41.240 -> 39:46.040] Patterson on the podcast she had her
[39:44.160 -> 39:47.000] phone test was the way that she Mae'n ddiddorol oherwydd pan ddweithiwyd i Vicky Patterson ar y podcast, roedd ei gwasanaeth ffôn yn y ffordd y gafodd ei ddifrifio.
[39:47.000 -> 39:52.000] Fe ddweud y byddai rhai o bobl yn dod i mewn i'r rhai sy'n eich hyfforddi,
[39:52.000 -> 39:57.000] fe dweud y rhai sy'n eich gwastraffu fel un o'r ffrid, oedd y ffrasau a ddefnyddodd,
[39:57.000 -> 40:00.000] pan gwelwch y enw ar y ffôn, dywedwch, oh, dda iawn, rydw i am ei gysylltu.
[40:00.000 -> 40:04.000] Yna fe ddweudwch am y cymaint o'r ffyrdd, y rhai sy'n mynd i mewn, dda iawn,
[40:04.000 -> 40:07.140] ond yna mae'r draggers, a dweud up fair enough there but then there's the draggers she told about the ones that you go
[40:07.140 -> 40:11.760] that you get the text you go fuck yeah and I'm interested in terms of to follow
[40:11.760 -> 40:17.120] up on Jades question like what do you do now that almost sets that same criteria
[40:17.120 -> 40:23.760] that Vicky told us about? Again for me it's it's very much a mental thing and I
[40:23.760 -> 40:26.600] think I led with my heart for so long which I don't think it's it's very much a mental thing and I
[40:23.800 -> 40:28.400] think I led with my heart for so long
[40:26.600 -> 40:31.240] which I don't think is a bad thing because
[40:28.400 -> 40:34.720] my heart has got me into places that I'm
[40:31.240 -> 40:38.000] grateful I did get to or experiences that
[40:34.720 -> 40:40.160] I experienced but I always forget to use
[40:38.000 -> 40:41.760] my head sometimes and I think now I'm
[40:40.160 -> 40:44.480] finding that perfect balance of head and
[40:41.760 -> 40:50.080] heart. Let's say it's dating, that's always an easy one to to talk about. You meet someone, you get the heart, you get
[40:50.080 -> 40:55.440] the little flutters and you're like, I really like him, really like him, and then someone might
[40:55.440 -> 41:00.680] say something to you where they flag something. Now I've had this in my life
[41:00.680 -> 41:06.080] that I've chose to ignore and then I'm in a situation. So
[41:06.080 -> 41:10.680] this time I mean my real friends that are around me and when I say real
[41:10.680 -> 41:15.480] friends I mean a very tight tight circle, they might say something and instead of
[41:15.480 -> 41:20.400] me bat it away I'll listen and I'll go okay well look I'm gonna look with fresh
[41:20.400 -> 41:25.060] eyes on this. I could sit here and keep talking. I haven't got the answer
[41:25.060 -> 41:29.460] for you and I'm really, really sorry. And that's all right to say. I don't know how
[41:29.460 -> 41:35.760] you get, how you work out who's right and who's wrong for you. But you know what? You
[41:35.760 -> 41:41.600] just know.
[41:41.600 -> 41:46.840] As a person with a very deep voice, I'm hired all the time for advertising campaigns.
[41:46.840 -> 41:52.600] But a deep voice doesn't sell B2B, and advertising on the wrong platform doesn't sell B2B either.
[41:52.600 -> 41:56.680] That's why if you're a B2B marketer, you should use LinkedIn ads.
[41:56.680 -> 42:00.600] LinkedIn has the targeting capabilities to help you reach the world's largest professional
[42:00.600 -> 42:01.600] audience.
[42:01.600 -> 42:05.600] That's right, over 70 million decision makers all in one place.
[42:05.600 -> 42:08.040] All the big wigs, then medium wigs,
[42:08.040 -> 42:11.360] also small wigs who are on the path to becoming big wigs.
[42:11.360 -> 42:12.880] Okay, that's enough about wigs.
[42:12.880 -> 42:14.640] LinkedIn ads allows you to focus
[42:14.640 -> 42:17.480] on getting your B2B message to the right people.
[42:17.480 -> 42:20.400] So, does that mean you should use ads on LinkedIn
[42:20.400 -> 42:21.680] instead of hiring me,
[42:21.680 -> 42:24.440] the man with the deepest voice in the world?
[42:24.440 -> 42:25.480] Yes, yes it
[42:25.480 -> 42:30.920] does. Get started today and see why LinkedIn is the place to be, to be. We'll
[42:30.920 -> 42:35.520] even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com slash
[42:35.520 -> 42:39.920] results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com slash results. Terms and
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[44:24.280 -> 44:28.240] everyone I meet I think they're gonna to be the greatest person, they're going to lead
[44:28.240 -> 44:33.600] to the most amazing opportunities, this is the one. But then I can't not live like that.
[44:33.600 -> 44:38.400] Because the reason why I have that feeling is how things like this podcast get created
[44:38.400 -> 44:42.480] or how you meet someone like Damien or how I end up asking you to come and be on here.
[44:42.480 -> 44:48.420] Like as soon as you close yourself down, think to being an open book emotionally and physically with
[44:48.420 -> 44:52.500] people I'm like come on in that's come and see my whole life come and meet my
[44:52.500 -> 44:56.320] family come and have lunch with us that's fine no one's saying don't do
[44:56.320 -> 45:01.940] that I am NOT saying don't do that you live your life like that but when and if
[45:01.940 -> 45:06.000] something isn't right it's about how you deal with it.
[45:06.000 -> 45:10.000] It's about whether you keep letting it slide and let it be part of your life or whether
[45:10.000 -> 45:15.600] you take that plunge, that jump and go, I'm really sorry but this isn't right for me.
[45:15.600 -> 45:17.880] And no hard feelings.
[45:17.880 -> 45:21.600] Whatever it is, whether it's business, whether it's friendship, whether it's a relationship,
[45:21.600 -> 45:25.320] whether it's marriage, whatever it is, I want to live my life and
[45:25.320 -> 45:32.160] I do try and live my life. Anyone and everyone's welcome, any opportunity I'll look at. With
[45:32.160 -> 45:37.120] work there'll be things that come in that my management know I am never going to do
[45:37.120 -> 45:42.200] in a million years, but I still want to see it. I still want to see it, to go, no you're
[45:42.200 -> 45:46.440] right, yeah, yeah. Not because I don't trust them, but because I don't want to be in a situation where someone goes oh
[45:46.440 -> 45:48.360] we asked you to do this and I ain't got a fucking clue what they're going on about
[45:48.360 -> 45:52.760] but it's the same with people I want to live my life going you're gonna be the
[45:52.760 -> 45:56.560] nicest person I've ever met we're gonna be friends forever and you're we're
[45:56.560 -> 46:00.960] gonna be like that until the day we die I'll I'll do that with you until you
[46:00.960 -> 46:04.800] prove me otherwise until you prove me otherwise and it only takes ain't little
[46:04.800 -> 46:07.320] but just know and then it's just how you deal with it
[46:07.320 -> 46:11.120] I think we interviewed Johnny Wilkinson the rugby player that told us that he
[46:11.120 -> 46:14.600] said he had that idea that rather than talk about somebody's got to earn your
[46:14.600 -> 46:17.440] trust why don't you just give it give it and then see what they do with that yeah
[46:17.440 -> 46:21.600] as long as you're not giving anything that's gonna hurt you as in like your
[46:21.600 -> 46:28.440] hearts one thing trust is another thing yeah I will give you my trust straight away people it's very very strange because when people always
[46:28.440 -> 46:34.080] go you know who is horrible blah blah blah and I'll go are they? I'm the worst
[46:34.080 -> 46:37.520] person to judge a character because people speak to me different in this
[46:37.520 -> 46:41.760] industry like they will you too so people some way. You know my wife used to work on
[46:41.760 -> 46:48.320] Strictly right? Right. She was uh she used to look after the training teams. She worked on Big Brother before that, before you were on it, she worked
[46:48.320 -> 46:52.400] on I'm a Celebrity, like you name it. She did the reality shows, she did Dancing On
[46:52.400 -> 46:59.760] Ice and she'd come home and I'd be like you alright? And she'd be like XYZ, I can't believe
[46:59.760 -> 47:03.720] the way they spoke to me or blah blah blah, totally ignored me today. And I'm like what?
[47:03.720 -> 47:08.680] They're the nicest people I know. And she's like, yes, cause you're on the telly. And then a
[47:08.680 -> 47:13.160] few years later we're like at the BBC or whatever when you used to be at TV centre and that
[47:13.160 -> 47:16.760] person would come up to us and be like, hey, nice to see you Jake, how's it going? And
[47:16.760 -> 47:23.640] I go, this is my at the time girlfriend. They're like, ah, yeah, we work, it's just like exactly.
[47:23.640 -> 47:25.780] Listen, that goes through whether you work in a
[47:25.780 -> 47:30.640] supermarket or at the Super Bowl like it does look how someone treats the lowest
[47:30.640 -> 47:36.560] person in the room my manager is was my runner there you go on big brother and
[47:36.560 -> 47:45.960] he's been with me for nearly nine years eight years sorry and he is almost like my eyes and ears
[47:46.000 -> 47:47.320] because
[47:47.320 -> 47:49.760] He would sit there and go that one was so rude to me
[47:50.120 -> 47:55.400] When I was a runner on dancing rice that one was so rude to me these this is my industry
[47:55.400 -> 47:57.080] So I'm gonna meet these people
[47:57.080 -> 48:01.160] I'll have someone on the show like my radio show or something like that and he'll go
[48:01.640 -> 48:04.720] Really like made a girl cry made a boy, you know, I pick people up on it now
[48:04.720 -> 48:08.160] No, I've been in situations where I've seen someone talk to a runner like shit
[48:08.160 -> 48:15.200] and it wasn't the first time I've seen this happen but I felt before that that
[48:15.200 -> 48:19.880] I wasn't at maybe a level or a stature or something like that where I could say
[48:19.880 -> 48:24.240] something you know? Yeah. And then yeah a couple of years back I was in a
[48:24.240 -> 48:29.440] situation and I saw someone talk, it wasn't even my show, I was a
[48:29.440 -> 48:34.720] guest on a show and I just heard I could just hear it but almost weirdly
[48:34.720 -> 48:39.440] see it before it happened because you do don't you, you know you see it and I saw
[48:39.440 -> 48:41.680] someone speak to a runner like shit just because they've brought the wrong coffee
[48:41.680 -> 48:48.640] and this runner was about 17 and I just went who the fuck are you talking to and I just saw
[48:48.640 -> 48:55.800] the face drop like what what what what I went are you jack are you joking and
[48:55.800 -> 48:59.320] they're like oh no no no I didn't mean it like that we're not fucking damaged
[48:59.320 -> 49:02.240] it's done now I said come on babe I literally took the coffee for it on the
[49:02.240 -> 49:07.000] floor I went go and get your own fucking coffee and I took her outside and I went come let's go and have a fag.
[49:07.000 -> 49:10.920] Ten years ago when I come into this industry there was still this lack and hangover of
[49:10.920 -> 49:15.040] how people were treated back in the day when you started and stuff like that I'm not saying
[49:15.040 -> 49:19.600] it was you you're a lovely bloke but like when you've you must have seen a load of stuff
[49:19.600 -> 49:29.920] telly has changed this industry has changed how things work how people are treated I think I joined at a time when there's that lag still of people can still talk
[49:29.920 -> 49:33.640] to people a bit like shit we now live in a day and age where it's like oh you
[49:33.640 -> 49:38.480] can't say this you can't say that. I'm saving it all for my book what TV was like in the early 2000s.
[49:38.480 -> 49:43.680] I'll tell you, it was a different place. I won't stand for it you know when I when I worked at Big Brother
[49:43.680 -> 49:49.720] my exec producer was on the same level as a day runner that didn't even work on the
[49:49.720 -> 49:54.560] show. Everyone is the same and that's how I like to work on my shows. I don't care about
[49:54.560 -> 49:59.520] hierarchy. When people go, you're the host, I go, so? I don't care. You're the exec, I
[49:59.520 -> 50:08.540] don't care. Everyone's got their own opinion and it's a team you have a work as a team We don't and yeah, I've I lost people along the way in work
[50:09.280 -> 50:11.680] When I'd be in an office of 30 odd people
[50:12.240 -> 50:16.800] Big brother someone would come in if I see someone talk to someone that shit. They won't be there the next day
[50:16.800 -> 50:18.680] Yeah, no one's too big to put the bins out
[50:18.680 -> 50:18.800] No
[50:18.800 -> 50:19.600] It's an important thing
[50:19.600 -> 50:27.660] But I think that's a really important point because I think there's people listening to this that I can as you're telling us this anecdote you remember enough well I'm
[50:27.660 -> 50:32.580] thinking of people that I know that would really be hoovering this up because
[50:32.580 -> 50:36.500] they're in situations where what you described of I didn't feel I had the
[50:36.500 -> 50:40.980] status or I didn't feel I had enough credit in the bank to call out that
[50:40.980 -> 50:46.160] behavior and do it the example you use with that guy is like who the fuck do you think you are with the
[50:46.160 -> 50:49.240] coffee is one example of being able to do it.
[50:49.240 -> 50:55.680] Yeah. But what tips or advice could you give us to do it in maybe a less abrasive or confrontational way that
[50:56.280 -> 51:01.680] you know, you're working in an office where you think I yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be working with this person for the next few years
[51:01.680 -> 51:06.120] so I don't want to... I think
[51:03.480 -> 51:08.640] it's again everything's circumstantial so
[51:06.120 -> 51:11.280] yeah if your boss is an arsehole your
[51:08.640 -> 51:12.720] boss is an arsehole like and you going up
[51:11.280 -> 51:14.280] to him and speaking really politely
[51:12.720 -> 51:16.240] saying this I really didn't like the way
[51:14.280 -> 51:18.600] that you spoke to me then I don't
[51:16.240 -> 51:20.960] make a thing of it but it really made
[51:18.600 -> 51:22.760] me feel crap that you spoke to me like
[51:20.960 -> 51:24.800] that for all I know your boss could go
[51:22.760 -> 51:31.680] fuck off you're sacked. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I think it's circumstantial, but I'm the sort that if I see something like an injustice or something like that
[51:32.440 -> 51:38.980] I'm full steam ahead. Do you feel that's a learned behavior you've seen from your mum of that combative get on the front foot?
[51:38.980 -> 51:41.400] Yeah, you know absolutely. I never forget
[51:41.400 -> 51:46.240] I think I was I was in year nine or something and some guy was
[51:46.240 -> 51:52.240] starting on me and whatever and one morning I just took so much shit from
[51:52.240 -> 51:56.440] people I've never a fighter I'll floor someone with words one morning I just
[51:56.440 -> 52:00.040] had enough I punched him in the face and knocked him out obviously I was excluded
[52:00.040 -> 52:03.720] there and then on the spot or my mum come and got me she was so proud she
[52:03.720 -> 52:08.280] took me up the sandwich shop in Orangstead. I've always just been brought up to
[52:08.280 -> 52:14.000] treat people right, treat people how you want to be treated but defend yourself
[52:14.000 -> 52:18.120] if someone's being an arsehole to you. Being in the position that I'm in
[52:18.120 -> 52:26.480] defending myself at times sometimes isn't worth it because it causes a media thing or it
[52:26.480 -> 52:32.400] causes more to pipe up because they feel that they can and stuff like that. But in
[52:32.400 -> 52:38.720] a situation where I see a runner being spoken to like shit for no reason, that's
[52:38.720 -> 52:41.400] when Ryland becomes Ross at work. Can I ask you then how you deal with
[52:41.400 -> 52:46.880] criticism generally and if we go right back to the start of your career, I've got the quotes here,
[52:46.880 -> 52:52.080] Gary Barlow, a joke act, talentless, and you actually in your Instagram bio,
[52:52.080 -> 52:54.400] what does it say? Started off as a joke and still laughing.
[52:55.040 -> 52:56.880] I imagine that did hurt at the time.
[52:56.880 -> 53:02.960] Oh, at the time, and again, talking about my family, my brother, who's 14 years older than me,
[53:02.960 -> 53:25.760] my mum, are listening to Gary Barlow and they're wanting to knock him out. They're like, wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah Week one of the live shows I was in the bottom two and that killed me that week.
[53:25.760 -> 53:29.580] I wanted to leave, I was walking out, I was like I can't do this, I can't put my mum
[53:29.580 -> 53:35.160] through this, and then week two something just clicked and I thought this
[53:35.160 -> 53:38.840] could be my thing and I think where a lot of people go wrong on them shows is
[53:38.840 -> 53:43.640] that they don't realize they're the joke. I was in on it so I played up to the
[53:43.640 -> 53:46.360] joke. So the next So I played up to the
[53:43.640 -> 53:49.000] joke. So the next week I came out to sing
[53:46.360 -> 53:50.800] Gangnam Style as you do, but I started
[53:49.000 -> 53:54.040] it with Back 4 Good, take that, just for
[53:50.800 -> 53:56.040] a laugh. And everyone was like, but I thought, you
[53:54.040 -> 53:58.320] want to play that game? I'll play the
[53:56.040 -> 54:01.600] game. And I was in on the joke, I knew
[53:58.320 -> 54:03.200] what I was doing. And yes, it hurt. I mean,
[54:01.600 -> 54:04.320] I got actual death threats when I was
[54:03.200 -> 54:06.640] an ex-victor to the point where I had to
[54:04.320 -> 54:06.360] have security. Someone was in the yes it hurt, I mean I got actual death threats when I was an ex-victor to the
[54:03.720 -> 54:08.160] point where I had to have security, someone was
[54:06.360 -> 54:10.320] in the hotel that we were living in and
[54:08.160 -> 54:12.000] yeah. Why is that? What like, what was the
[54:10.320 -> 54:13.320] logic, why would somebody want to do that?
[54:12.000 -> 54:14.400] Oh they got my room number everything
[54:13.320 -> 54:16.320] saying they were gonna come in and slice
[54:14.400 -> 54:17.880] my neck open in the night, like I don't
[54:16.320 -> 54:19.200] care if someone calls me talentless, I
[54:17.880 -> 54:20.880] don't care if someone said big-toothed prick,
[54:19.200 -> 54:22.960] I don't care, it's like I've got money
[54:20.880 -> 54:26.600] in the bank, I'm fine by it, like but when
[54:22.960 -> 54:25.640] someone's saying I've got money in the bank I'm fine by it like but when someone's saying I
[54:25.640 -> 54:28.920] Can see you currently on your balcony of your room?
[54:29.660 -> 54:35.620] 401 oh shit, and I've got a key card because I work here and I'm gonna slash your neck in your sleep
[54:35.700 -> 54:40.100] Then you sit there and go fuck that's a bit too much information that they know, you know
[54:40.100 -> 54:43.140] And so it's things like that and that's obviously difficult
[54:43.900 -> 54:45.160] but actually
[54:45.160 -> 54:50.000] again I'm glad I had the rocky start I'm glad I just didn't have a oh he's good
[54:50.000 -> 54:53.400] lovely. Well I'm interested how you are with it today because let's be totally
[54:53.400 -> 54:56.520] frank right and I want to be totally clear for people listening to this the
[54:56.520 -> 55:00.400] last thing you are is a joke. Thank you. And the reason why I believe that is
[55:00.400 -> 55:04.680] because you know I've I'm lucky enough that I started out in TV in 2001 and I
[55:04.680 -> 55:08.440] can't believe that 21 years later I'm still employed to go on the telly. To
[55:08.440 -> 55:12.040] have any length of a TV career is remarkable right you've done 10 years
[55:12.040 -> 55:15.940] not just 10 years over 10 years at the absolute top of the game like all the
[55:15.940 -> 55:19.320] dreams you want to meet the Spice Girls when you were younger you've done it you
[55:19.320 -> 55:23.220] want everybody wants to be on radio too you've done it you love Big Brother you
[55:23.220 -> 55:28.440] went on it not only that you ended up it. You went on The X Factor and created your career. You
[55:28.440 -> 55:33.880] love Eurovision, you've ended up hosting Eurovision. Like, you just can't, there's nothing that
[55:33.880 -> 55:34.880] you wanted to tick.
[55:34.880 -> 55:35.880] Still can't get a fella. What's going on?
[55:35.880 -> 55:41.200] Look where your mind, your brain goes straight, but like, everything you wanted to do, you've
[55:41.200 -> 55:44.000] done. That does not happen by accident.
[55:44.000 -> 55:45.160] No, I know. I know I know
[55:45.400 -> 55:51.800] So, how are you now of the criticism because I just don't know whether you get the credit you deserve
[55:52.040 -> 55:56.520] for what you've achieved and I'd love to know whether you feel you do and whether you care and I'm
[55:56.720 -> 56:02.840] Talking to Ross not Rylan right now. I want to sit here and say I can laugh it off if ever I get criticism and
[56:03.680 -> 56:05.040] Nine times out of ten I do criticism and nine times out of ten I do.
[56:05.040 -> 56:09.920] There's one times out of ten that sometimes it will get me a bit and I
[56:09.920 -> 56:17.040] think, do you know how hard I've worked on this or something like that? I like some
[56:17.040 -> 56:21.280] criticism because I think it keeps me grounded and I think it reminds me that
[56:21.280 -> 56:24.840] I'm not invincible. We know there's a lot of people in this industry whose feet do
[56:24.840 -> 56:25.600] leave the floor and they turn into idiots. I'm not invincible. We know there's a lot of people in this industry whose feet do leave the floor
[56:25.600 -> 56:27.200] and they turn into idiots.
[56:27.200 -> 56:28.800] I'm lucky that mine is still on the ground
[56:28.800 -> 56:31.400] and I think that's weirdly played a part in it.
[56:31.400 -> 56:34.400] Um, I like knowing not everyone likes me
[56:34.400 -> 56:37.200] because the biggest compliment anyone can give me is,
[56:37.200 -> 56:40.000] and it's the normal thing that I always get,
[56:40.000 -> 56:44.200] and the one compliment I probably get the greatest satisfaction from,
[56:44.200 -> 56:49.040] I used to hate you when you were on the X Factor
[56:49.040 -> 56:53.600] but I love your radio 2 show or I used to think you were an idiot
[56:53.600 -> 56:57.440] I get more satisfaction converting people
[56:57.440 -> 57:02.160] into oh he's actually all right than getting the love in the first
[57:02.160 -> 57:04.960] place I love it. Brilliant can I talk to you
[57:04.960 -> 57:07.120] about how you've done it though? Because there'll be people
[57:07.120 -> 57:12.080] listening to this with a dream and an ambition. I want to know how you end up in a career
[57:12.080 -> 57:16.920] as cutthroat as TV and you navigate your way through. And please don't say it's by accident
[57:16.920 -> 57:20.160] and please don't say you don't know because the truth is that you do know and it takes
[57:20.160 -> 57:21.880] careful planning and it takes thought and it takes...
[57:21.880 -> 57:25.280] The sleep in a relationship,
[57:25.280 -> 57:35.840] going back to the very beginning, quickly navigating and grasping the fact of the stereotype
[57:35.840 -> 57:53.000] I needed to be was the first step. Realising your role on that show and in TV at that time? The X Factor at its point, it was massive, it was a singing show, but it was also a TV show.
[57:53.000 -> 57:58.000] Now working in TV you understand there are boxes, everyone's got a box.
[57:58.000 -> 58:02.000] Whether you are just average, you're in the average box.
[58:02.000 -> 58:05.460] It doesn't matter, you're either the gay one, you're the this one, you're the that one, you're the the average box, it doesn't
[58:03.120 -> 58:06.960] matter you're either the gay one, you're
[58:05.460 -> 58:10.320] this one, you're the that one, you're the
[58:06.960 -> 58:13.680] that one. I knew very quickly when I was
[58:10.320 -> 58:16.320] looking around I'm the joke one. Fine, how
[58:13.680 -> 58:17.600] do I make myself work with this? And
[58:16.320 -> 58:19.280] obviously I played the game, I played
[58:17.600 -> 58:21.600] along. You want to put me in feather boas
[58:19.280 -> 58:23.040] and a light up jumpsuit? Do it, that's
[58:21.600 -> 58:24.440] absolutely fine. If I earn a couple of
[58:23.040 -> 58:26.400] grand out of this and get two weeks on
[58:24.440 -> 58:25.720] the live shows, do a couple of grand out of this and
[58:23.880 -> 58:27.640] get two weeks on the live shows, do a
[58:25.720 -> 58:28.880] couple of gay club appearances, I can
[58:27.640 -> 58:31.640] buy myself a new car because the other one
[58:28.880 -> 58:33.200] just blew up. Great! That's how I
[58:31.640 -> 58:36.320] looked at it. I didn't have big
[58:33.200 -> 58:39.800] expectations, I knew I had it in me. So
[58:36.320 -> 58:41.320] then coming out of X Factor knowing at
[58:39.800 -> 58:43.200] this point, because I'd already had one dodgy
[58:41.320 -> 58:44.480] conversation at an X Factor live show
[58:43.200 -> 58:46.920] that Big Brother wanted me to go in the house. I knew I was going into Big Brother and I thought
[58:46.920 -> 58:54.000] that's my chance to show Ross rather than Ryland. Everyone thinks Ryland is
[58:54.000 -> 58:59.280] this character on X Factor. I might go out first and if I do go out first that
[58:59.280 -> 59:04.840] means knowing Big Brother and it being a celebrity version I've got five days to
[59:04.840 -> 59:05.120] show that if I'm evicted first. And I walked into Celebrity Big Brother and it being a celebrity version I've got five days to show that
[59:05.120 -> 59:09.400] if I'm evicted first and I walked into Celebrity Big Brother and I was just
[59:09.400 -> 59:12.720] being myself I'd sit there with no makeup on hand down me trousers being
[59:12.720 -> 59:15.960] mates with Razor Ruddock and Frankie Datorre sitting there drinking beer
[59:15.960 -> 59:19.880] taking the piss out of Caffey Bill because we found it funny like you know
[59:19.880 -> 59:25.820] that's what it was and then people just went oh he's not this idiot singing a
[59:25.820 -> 59:30.800] Spice Girl mega mix flying down from a trellis in the ceiling it's actually
[59:30.800 -> 59:38.160] quite normal then I won I was like right there's a small bit of validation that
[59:38.160 -> 59:42.640] I've played this right so I need to keep doing this now then I got offered the
[59:42.640 -> 59:49.800] job at Big Brother but I'm not a presenter and I was like how am I gonna do this because I'm not a presenter and
[59:49.800 -> 59:53.400] you know when you present you've got 40 people talking in one ear you've got to
[59:53.400 -> 59:59.880] listen to this person blah blah blah. Luckily enough I found it really easy and I still do
[59:59.880 -> 01:00:06.080] and I love my job and you I prefer live to pre-rec because I'm in control of it, a control thing again
[01:00:06.080 -> 01:00:14.000] but I enjoy it. But the best thing that I ever did and I still stand by it was get my teeth done
[01:00:15.040 -> 01:00:26.320] the day before I started hosting Big Brother because they were so fucking big and so white and I was so swollen that for the few weeks I was
[01:00:26.320 -> 01:00:32.320] learning on the job on live TV to be a presenter on my apprenticeship people
[01:00:32.320 -> 01:00:36.840] were so busy talking about my teeth no one knew I was a shit presenter and by
[01:00:36.840 -> 01:00:40.160] the time they got used to my teeth I could do a fucking good job of my job
[01:00:40.160 -> 01:00:51.640] and that's it. What a story and what about the moment where you have to go and say now take me seriously you know like Radio 2 don't employ Ryland from
[01:00:51.640 -> 01:00:54.880] the X Factor they probably almost certainly don't employ Ryland from Big
[01:00:54.880 -> 01:00:59.560] Brother. They probably would not employ even Ryland from doing a bit of
[01:00:59.560 -> 01:01:03.080] hosting. There has to be a moment where you go and say right now take me
[01:01:03.080 -> 01:01:06.560] seriously this is what I am and there's some good lessons here for our listeners
[01:01:06.560 -> 01:01:12.780] So one thing for me is when you when you do a radio show, you don't physically DJ. Obviously, it's all system. It's all computer
[01:01:12.780 -> 01:01:15.840] It's all this radio is ten times harder than TV
[01:01:16.440 -> 01:01:22.040] 100% because you everything has to be your voice. You have to be happy with your voice sad with your voice
[01:01:22.560 -> 01:01:24.560] sincere with your voice and
[01:01:24.720 -> 01:01:25.220] Joking with your voice. You can't voice, sincere with your voice and joking
[01:01:25.220 -> 01:01:29.280] with your voice. You can't do the little I look to camera for, you can't do that.
[01:01:29.280 -> 01:01:34.600] I said I'm not gonna get taken seriously getting this job because I understand
[01:01:34.600 -> 01:01:38.520] it's the biggest radio station in Europe, people would kill to have a show on
[01:01:38.520 -> 01:01:46.300] radio too, which I completely understand. I've got a good knowledge of music and I really love my music but I'm
[01:01:46.300 -> 01:01:53.940] not a DJ so I went and learned with Pioneer how to be a proper DJ. So I
[01:01:53.940 -> 01:01:56.380] wanted to sort of almost have credibility for something I didn't even
[01:01:56.380 -> 01:02:00.400] need it for because at Radio 2 I haven't got decks in front of me, it doesn't work
[01:02:00.400 -> 01:02:04.300] like that but I wanted to have that credibility. So I started doing DJ gigs
[01:02:04.300 -> 01:02:07.280] and I started going out and then I started getting booked more because people
[01:02:07.280 -> 01:02:11.080] were going it's actually really good and every time I'd go to a place people would
[01:02:11.080 -> 01:02:16.680] be shocked that I was actually DJing because the last celeb DJ that they
[01:02:16.680 -> 01:02:21.400] booked would literally just press play on a playlist and just look like they're
[01:02:21.400 -> 01:02:28.400] doing something. I could easily earn a couple of grand going somewhere and pressing a button and just doing put me hands up
[01:02:28.400 -> 01:02:33.020] and going yeah I want to be taken seriously but I also still want to have
[01:02:33.020 -> 01:02:37.880] a laugh with it. So how important is hard work for you? So I want to say this and
[01:02:37.880 -> 01:02:42.960] it not come across the wrong way I'm not working down a mine I get that but I do
[01:02:42.960 -> 01:02:46.780] work hard. My
[01:02:44.440 -> 01:02:49.640] job starts the second I walk out of my
[01:02:46.780 -> 01:02:52.740] gate because I'm Ryland not because I'm
[01:02:49.640 -> 01:02:54.640] Ross because I'm Ryland so I'm at work the
[01:02:52.740 -> 01:02:56.520] second I come outside of the gates
[01:02:54.640 -> 01:03:00.160] purely because of the sheer fact of every
[01:02:56.520 -> 01:03:02.320] single move I make if I crash into a
[01:03:00.160 -> 01:03:05.440] car if I do this that's Ryland it's not
[01:03:02.320 -> 01:03:08.200] Ross now that's how it is. But I think the genius of what you've described on that journey that you've been
[01:03:08.200 -> 01:03:14.120] on since that X-Factor is almost like you know in judo they talk about the art of judo
[01:03:14.120 -> 01:03:20.920] is use what your opponent does and you almost yeah against them and I think the fact that
[01:03:20.920 -> 01:03:27.800] you that you recognize the you know I mean pigeonholed as a joke here let's use that against them and they'll play it
[01:03:27.800 -> 01:03:32.160] yeah no it's brilliant I think that's the best one with attack as well is when
[01:03:32.160 -> 01:03:36.680] someone sits there and goes you were such an idiot on X Factor I go I know
[01:03:36.680 -> 01:03:41.560] what do I say to that then brilliant what do you say to that it's like what
[01:03:41.560 -> 01:03:48.440] do you mean I'm like well no I was fannying about in a feather boa. You couldn't sing!
[01:03:48.440 -> 01:03:54.400] It was like, I wasn't singing on X Factor. I had 20 battery packs strapped to my back
[01:03:54.400 -> 01:03:59.960] and my nipples came off because I was wearing a gold Chanel chainmail vest. I sliced both
[01:03:59.960 -> 01:04:05.120] my nipples open during a performance of Spandau Ballet Gold. Like, do you think I was gonna
[01:04:05.120 -> 01:04:08.440] stand there and sing? Whilst I'm being pushed around on a shopping trolley dressed as an
[01:04:08.440 -> 01:04:14.240] Egyptian. Not happening. Today. And it's like, I love it. I love it. I love it when people
[01:04:14.240 -> 01:04:19.120] go, you can't sing. Oh, you were this. And I go, yeah, no, no, no. Because that weren't
[01:04:19.120 -> 01:04:23.840] that. And I'm like, great, do it. How would you not know if? I've had three number ones
[01:04:23.840 -> 01:04:25.680] already under a different name?
[01:04:31.680 -> 01:04:38.080] You wouldn't? No. It could come out one day that I could, I have, but... Have you? I'd never tell you until I'm ready. You just don't know do you? No. See but the thing that really intrigues me on
[01:04:38.080 -> 01:04:43.520] this is that you've done that, you've leaned into it, you've used that sort of resistance as your
[01:04:43.520 -> 01:04:49.540] best form of attack and yet it seems like when that crash happened for you to go back to that that
[01:04:49.540 -> 01:04:54.040] was one of a few times where where you've almost not done that you know what I mean
[01:04:54.040 -> 01:04:56.680] and the only time I've not done that yeah and I think there's something
[01:04:56.680 -> 01:05:00.280] significant about that that you've resisted it for so long yeah that
[01:05:00.280 -> 01:05:07.260] eventually you've tripped up against you. I fell over yeah I fell over and I think
[01:05:07.260 -> 01:05:13.920] the a massive lesson that I learned is sometimes you think why am I so nice to
[01:05:13.920 -> 01:05:19.240] people? Why do I always say yes when someone asks for a photo? Why do I sit there and do
[01:05:19.240 -> 01:05:22.800] the extra hour at work just because of someone else's fuck up? Why do I do
[01:05:22.800 -> 01:05:27.840] this? And actually I've learned the reason why I do that is because last year when you fall down
[01:05:27.840 -> 01:05:33.040] you're gonna need help getting back up and everyone waited for me. I didn't lose
[01:05:33.040 -> 01:05:39.120] one job, they didn't move on to the next, everyone helped me get back up the
[01:05:39.120 -> 01:05:47.180] stairs again because I always helped them and that's that's important to me is that people
[01:05:47.180 -> 01:05:54.040] think I'm decent that's important to Ross lovely before we move on to our
[01:05:54.040 -> 01:05:57.280] quickfire questions the last thing is about happiness you finish your book
[01:05:57.280 -> 01:06:07.040] with there's one thing on my list be happy I can't wait for the day I tick this box. What is happiness? I'll let you
[01:06:07.040 -> 01:06:12.280] know when I get it. I don't know yet, I need to work it out. And is there a
[01:06:12.280 -> 01:06:15.840] sadness that you've had this amazing career, you've done all these things that
[01:06:15.840 -> 01:06:21.160] young Ross would never have believed, yet you can't sit here and tell us what
[01:06:21.160 -> 01:06:26.480] happiness is? I can look at it two ways, I can look at
[01:06:24.800 -> 01:06:30.520] it as, that's really sad that you say that,
[01:06:26.480 -> 01:06:33.480] or I can look at it as an opportunity
[01:06:30.520 -> 01:06:37.760] again, and I look at it as an
[01:06:33.480 -> 01:06:40.560] opportunity because everything always
[01:06:37.760 -> 01:06:43.560] becomes normal to some extent, whether
[01:06:40.560 -> 01:06:46.760] that's the job you do, the relationship
[01:06:43.560 -> 01:06:46.920] you're in, not having money in the bank or
[01:06:46.920 -> 01:06:48.300] having money in the bank.
[01:06:48.300 -> 01:06:50.240] Everything becomes normal.
[01:06:50.240 -> 01:06:57.800] And I've learned that what I thought would be a pinnacle is just another step.
[01:06:57.800 -> 01:07:00.440] A great one, but it's a step.
[01:07:00.440 -> 01:07:04.400] So going on X Factor, that was like the pinnacle.
[01:07:04.400 -> 01:07:05.600] Going into the Big Brother house, oh my God that was like the pinnacle. I was like, oh my God. Going into the Big Brother house,
[01:07:05.600 -> 01:07:07.560] oh my God, that's the pinnacle.
[01:07:07.560 -> 01:07:10.000] Hosting it, that is the pinnacle.
[01:07:10.920 -> 01:07:14.040] And then you realize, what's next though?
[01:07:14.040 -> 01:07:15.920] There's always something else.
[01:07:15.920 -> 01:07:17.440] I'm glad I'm like that.
[01:07:17.440 -> 01:07:22.440] That's not me chasing, that's me keeping myself ambitious
[01:07:22.480 -> 01:07:29.600] and keeping myself excited to a point, always thinking when will I get
[01:07:29.600 -> 01:07:40.640] there? I think in the back of my mind I will never get there because I'll always be waiting
[01:07:40.640 -> 01:07:45.880] or looking and stuff and that's not a bad place to be because I actually quite like the feeling of what's next
[01:07:45.880 -> 01:07:47.120] What's next?
[01:07:47.120 -> 01:07:53.640] But I think from a happiness point of view for me, I think that's being with someone
[01:07:54.400 -> 01:07:56.440] That I want to share everything with
[01:07:57.200 -> 01:08:01.400] That is the right person that supports what I do
[01:08:02.240 -> 01:08:06.000] That supports me as much as I can support them in all different aspects.
[01:08:06.000 -> 01:08:13.080] I think that's when I'll be able to tick a box and go I'm alright and keep doing
[01:08:13.080 -> 01:08:16.920] what I'm doing. You know what I think the freedom that you've now found actually
[01:08:16.920 -> 01:08:21.240] allows you to meet that person. I don't think that you two or three or four five
[01:08:21.240 -> 01:08:24.480] six seven years ago would ever even meet that person. No. Because the freedom
[01:08:24.480 -> 01:08:27.160] wasn't there to look for the right person? No
[01:08:27.160 -> 01:08:32.780] yeah I think I had an idea of what I wanted I wanted a husband and a
[01:08:32.780 -> 01:08:38.160] Range Rover I've still got the Range Rover. I mean can I ask you a bit of an
[01:08:38.160 -> 01:08:42.800] intrusive question rather than that and you don't have to answer this. You? Intrusive? Yeah sorry but
[01:08:42.800 -> 01:08:45.760] like when you talk about this journey on this quest for happiness do you I've done this. Intrusive? Yeah sorry but
[01:08:42.760 -> 01:08:48.040] and like when you talk about this journey
[01:08:45.760 -> 01:08:51.760] on this quest for happiness do you still
[01:08:48.040 -> 01:08:56.680] use therapy or some kind of coaching or
[01:08:51.760 -> 01:08:58.120] I actually don't which is strange because
[01:08:56.680 -> 01:08:59.880] a lot of times you would hear people go
[01:08:58.120 -> 01:09:02.160] yeah I still still see my therapist or
[01:08:59.880 -> 01:09:06.040] whether it be once a year once a month
[01:09:02.160 -> 01:09:06.080] once a day I don't because actually the
[01:09:06.080 -> 01:09:10.880] therapist I worked with was great, she was a really amazing woman and I didn't
[01:09:10.880 -> 01:09:14.720] want to tell her anything at first and actually when I realized that when I did
[01:09:14.720 -> 01:09:20.560] started being honest with her it worked and it helped. I just, I have association
[01:09:20.560 -> 01:09:25.080] so like fragrance for argument's sake I'll smell a certain fragrance and boom
[01:09:25.080 -> 01:09:30.240] I'm back in Ibiza my first ex-boyfriend oh I remember that smell you know I'm
[01:09:30.240 -> 01:09:36.680] back somewhere if I was to go and have therapy now I think it's just reminding
[01:09:36.680 -> 01:09:46.760] me of a time and a feeling of how I felt and I just don't need it, I don't want that at the minute. If I felt
[01:09:46.760 -> 01:09:53.560] that I wanted to do it again I would, no no questions about it, but I don't have
[01:09:53.560 -> 01:10:06.360] therapy. I learn to try and give myself therapy and remind myself what's important, wake up and go, okay,
[01:10:06.360 -> 01:10:14.040] this is right, talk to the pheasant. Yeah, Patrice loves it. But yeah, I feel like I
[01:10:14.040 -> 01:10:17.640] want to try and do this on my own and the day that I can't do things on my own
[01:10:17.640 -> 01:10:21.480] that's when I ask for help. Brilliant. Right, time for a quick five questions.
[01:10:21.480 -> 01:10:28.320] Here we go. What are the three the three non negotiable behaviors that you and ideally the people around you as well
[01:10:28.320 -> 01:10:37.560] have to buy into? Lying, not having it, rudeness and just being a dickhead in
[01:10:37.560 -> 01:10:42.080] general. What's your biggest weakness and your greatest strength? Biggest weakness
[01:10:42.080 -> 01:10:47.560] is probably anything to do with my appearance my
[01:10:47.560 -> 01:10:50.000] greatest strength is anything to do with
[01:10:50.000 -> 01:10:52.240] my appearance do you think that ever
[01:10:52.240 -> 01:10:54.560] changes because we've all seen the photo
[01:10:54.560 -> 01:10:56.280] that gets passed around of young Ryland
[01:10:56.280 -> 01:10:58.080] ginger hair freckles no that's how I
[01:10:58.080 -> 01:11:00.240] see myself still but that's why I say my
[01:11:00.240 -> 01:11:01.400] biggest weakness is my appearance
[01:11:01.400 -> 01:11:03.040] because I'm not I don't love the way
[01:11:03.040 -> 01:11:04.720] that I look but my biggest strength is
[01:11:04.720 -> 01:11:06.240] my appearance because when I paint it all
[01:11:06.240 -> 01:11:11.560] on I can go out and give it. But that's a lack of confidence that you shouldn't have
[01:11:11.560 -> 01:11:15.600] because you look great so will you ever be at a point do you think where less of
[01:11:15.600 -> 01:11:19.200] Ryland and more of Ross is on show to the general public? I don't know I'd like
[01:11:19.200 -> 01:11:26.000] to yeah but I don't know yet. Where were you? Where are you? And where are you going?
[01:11:26.000 -> 01:11:35.560] Where was I? Was somewhere great? Where am I in a period after somewhere not great?
[01:11:35.560 -> 01:11:46.080] Where am I going? Back to where I started. What's the thing that people get wrong most or misunderstand about you? I'm actually a
[01:11:46.080 -> 01:11:53.640] boy at heart and even though there's a full face of makeup on and stuff like
[01:11:53.640 -> 01:11:58.560] that I'm actually quite normal. I actually am very run-of-the-mill normal.
[01:11:58.560 -> 01:12:08.080] Is there one question we should have asked you but we didn't. Yeah. What was it? That's your job. I think long
[01:12:08.080 -> 01:12:14.840] and hard about it. It involved long and hard. Nice. We probably should we go there? High
[01:12:14.840 -> 01:12:20.080] performance. I mean, let's talk about that. You could bring your own tablets out. True
[01:12:20.080 -> 01:12:25.600] high performance. And finally then, Mythm, what's your one final message for
[01:12:25.600 -> 01:12:29.880] listeners about living a high performance life?
[01:12:29.880 -> 01:12:33.920] My final message would be, what works for me might not work for you, what works for
[01:12:33.920 -> 01:12:41.400] you might not work for me, but in a very short amount of time I've seen quite a lot and I
[01:12:41.400 -> 01:12:46.080] have dealt with quite a lot and I'm still dealing with quite a lot just
[01:12:46.080 -> 01:12:52.120] be good at doing what you want to do but just don't forget who you are because I
[01:12:52.120 -> 01:12:57.640] did and that's when it all fucks up. Brilliant, mate thank you so much for
[01:12:57.640 -> 01:13:00.360] doing that. Thank you.
[01:13:03.040 -> 01:13:07.800] Damien, Jake, what an interesting conversation with someone who is
[01:13:07.800 -> 01:13:12.120] definitely obviously in a much better place than he was at you know a few
[01:13:12.120 -> 01:13:16.120] months ago but I still get the impression that he's on a real a real
[01:13:16.120 -> 01:13:19.480] journey there was times there where I felt like it was Ross we were talking to
[01:13:19.480 -> 01:13:32.000] but there's also moments where you see that the mask of Ryland comes into the fore. Yeah, it must be confusing in some ways, that split identity and I think that's what in
[01:13:32.000 -> 01:13:37.000] Ryland's answers, that he almost lost sight of that, you know, the little boy that got
[01:13:37.000 -> 01:13:42.000] bullied, that sort of kid. I think to lose sight of that was obviously caused a lot of
[01:13:42.000 -> 01:14:05.200] the problems. There's a theory called the quiet man in the room theory, which is almost ac roedd y fath o hynny'n cael ei ddweud, yn ystod y fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o' had happened with Ryland that the idea of he as he said he threw a bomb into his own world
[01:14:05.880 -> 01:14:10.600] Whether that was a quiet man in the room of Ross saying I need you to pay attention to me
[01:14:10.600 -> 01:14:14.800] I need you to give me some of the care and love and attention that I deserve
[01:14:15.400 -> 01:14:19.960] And I think that you know in the same way that some people said Vicky Patterson
[01:14:20.240 -> 01:14:24.360] Why is she on high performance only when she came on to people go now I get it
[01:14:24.360 -> 01:14:25.000] I think there'll be a lot of people that have listened to that conversation with Ryland at the beginning would have said well Why is she on high performance? Only when she came on did people go, now I get it.
[01:14:25.000 -> 01:14:27.000] I think there'll be a lot of people that have listened to that conversation with Ryland
[01:14:27.000 -> 01:14:29.000] that at the beginning would have said, well,
[01:14:29.000 -> 01:14:31.000] the guy from X Factor on high performance.
[01:14:31.000 -> 01:14:34.000] And it's only when you hear about how he dealt with the criticism
[01:14:34.000 -> 01:14:35.000] on X Factor,
[01:14:35.000 -> 01:14:38.000] how he managed to control what happened to him on Big Brother,
[01:14:38.000 -> 01:14:42.000] what he did to get himself a great broadcasting career,
[01:14:42.000 -> 01:14:54.820] the way that he managed to deal with the breakdown in his relationship what he's done to grow from that the advice he gives people who are going through mental health problems what he said about hard work and being the nicest person in the room.
[01:14:55.320 -> 01:15:04.900] He is the absolute epitome of high performance because high performance is not just a case of kind of making the best of yourself and getting your own version of high performance which he absolutely has.
[01:15:03.060 -> 01:15:07.560] case of kind of making the best of yourself and getting your own version of high-performance which he absolutely has. It's a reminder that it's small daily
[01:15:07.560 -> 01:15:12.780] basic things that he knows he can do that has given him the most incredible
[01:15:12.780 -> 01:15:16.920] career, wealth he couldn't have imagined, opportunities that he never would have
[01:15:16.920 -> 01:15:20.640] believed. Like he's absolutely the epitome of high performance in my mind.
[01:15:20.640 -> 01:15:24.720] Yeah definitely I mean when I was sat there I was sort of I always feel
[01:15:24.720 -> 01:15:28.600] privileged when we do this anyway and I especially feel privileged when guests
[01:15:28.600 -> 01:15:33.440] are so candid and open that it feels like they're letting us into their world
[01:15:33.440 -> 01:15:38.480] and that's not something that I know you or I take lightly and I was sat there
[01:15:38.480 -> 01:15:42.000] thinking what a broad church that we've had in terms of our guests when you
[01:15:42.000 -> 01:15:46.200] think of whether it's been people that might be traditionally defined as
[01:15:46.200 -> 01:15:49.680] alpha males, whether it's special elites, force soldiers
[01:15:49.680 -> 01:15:52.840] or whether it has been Vicky Patterson or
[01:15:52.840 -> 01:15:57.000] in this case here Ryland. They're all high-performance in
[01:15:57.000 -> 01:16:00.240] our definition of it. This isn't about what you said to Ryland
[01:16:00.240 -> 01:16:04.640] striving to become the millionaire, the top of the shop, the CEO.
[01:16:04.640 -> 01:16:07.120] This is just about doing the best you can in your moment.
[01:16:07.120 -> 01:16:14.240] And this is an ordinary man that's gone into an extraordinarily competitive world of broadcasting.
[01:16:14.240 -> 01:16:18.320] And yet, like you say, he's sustained a career far longer than lots of more,
[01:16:18.320 -> 01:16:20.480] maybe obviously talented people.
[01:16:20.480 -> 01:16:22.560] That deserves further exploration.
[01:16:22.560 -> 01:16:25.440] And I hope people have sort of shifted their
[01:16:25.440 -> 01:16:29.920] opinion and again understood the power of empathy. He's a great guy. Yeah I loved
[01:16:29.920 -> 01:16:33.440] it it was a real privilege to listen to him.
[01:16:33.480 -> 01:16:37.480] Let's welcome then another listener to the High Performance Podcast because we
[01:16:37.480 -> 01:16:42.160] were contacted by someone called Peter on behalf of James and he shared James's
[01:16:42.160 -> 01:16:45.320] story with us. So James was a health and physical education
[01:16:45.320 -> 01:16:50.000] teacher at a school in Cambodia. At the same time, he was head coach of an amateur football
[01:16:50.000 -> 01:16:57.700] team out there. But in May 2022, everything changed for him. And it's a pleasure to welcome
[01:16:57.700 -> 01:17:01.520] him to the High Performance Podcast right now. James, nice to see you, man.
[01:17:01.520 -> 01:17:03.720] James Devely 22 You too, Jay. It's a pleasure to be here
[01:17:03.720 -> 01:17:08.600] and to be able to share my story or to be able to just be on the podcast is a pleasure. So
[01:17:08.600 -> 01:17:09.600] thank you.
[01:17:09.600 -> 01:17:11.440] Jason Vale Well, thank you. So let's talk about that
[01:17:11.440 -> 01:17:15.720] story then, because I've just told the listeners that, you know, you were doing something which
[01:17:15.720 -> 01:17:20.200] sounds amazing, working as a PE teacher in Cambodia, head coach for an amateur football
[01:17:20.200 -> 01:17:24.880] team, obviously health and fitness was at the centre of your life. Would you mind then
[01:17:24.880 -> 01:17:29.680] sharing with us what happened in 2022? James De? I never really had issues before, you know,
[01:17:29.680 -> 01:17:34.560] I always quite looked after my health and I was lucky enough not to have any medical issues.
[01:17:35.680 -> 01:17:42.080] But maybe starting around Christmas of 2021, constantly feeling unwell and not understanding
[01:17:42.080 -> 01:17:46.440] why. Nothing had changed in my lifestyle, but just constantly
[01:17:46.440 -> 01:17:49.120] there was some different type of illness all the time,
[01:17:49.120 -> 01:17:51.400] which my immune system seemed to be down a lot.
[01:17:51.960 -> 01:17:54.360] And that carried on for a couple of months.
[01:17:54.440 -> 01:17:57.760] But eventually the pains got really, really bad in my stomach
[01:17:57.760 -> 01:17:59.640] around April of 2022.
[01:18:00.000 -> 01:18:02.720] And I had a lump in the bottom of my stomach.
[01:18:03.040 -> 01:18:05.520] And luckily, I got a colonoscopy quite early.
[01:18:05.520 -> 01:18:08.360] The results came back from the colonoscopy,
[01:18:08.360 -> 01:18:12.040] but I did have stage three bowel cancer at the time.
[01:18:12.040 -> 01:18:14.360] And that was obviously quite a shock to me,
[01:18:14.360 -> 01:18:16.560] being in Cambodia away from my family,
[01:18:16.560 -> 01:18:19.200] kind of being by myself to a certain extent
[01:18:19.200 -> 01:18:21.240] in a foreign environment.
[01:18:21.240 -> 01:18:24.200] I did the surgery, and it was quite successful.
[01:18:24.200 -> 01:18:25.760] The surgeon was quite happy that they
[01:18:25.760 -> 01:18:33.760] removed the tumour and the plan was then to come back to Ireland, to come back home and do a juven
[01:18:33.760 -> 01:18:40.640] chemotherapy, which is basically a chemotherapy just to prevent any further spread. However,
[01:18:40.640 -> 01:18:46.120] in the meantime of about 10 weeks while I was recovering from my first initial
[01:18:46.120 -> 01:18:51.160] surgery, the cancer had spread and it spread to my peritoneum.
[01:18:51.160 -> 01:18:57.680] Basically from that then I had to go for another surgery, which now leaves me with an ileostomy.
[01:18:57.680 -> 01:19:07.280] So them kind of things have dictated my life to a certain extent and how it's changed from, like you said, I was a health fanatic.
[01:19:07.280 -> 01:19:14.720] I was a PE teacher, constantly active. And now my life has taken a 360 turn where I'm kind of,
[01:19:15.280 -> 01:19:20.720] I need to be nursed. I need to be looked after. I have great support through with my family and my
[01:19:20.720 -> 01:19:26.080] girlfriend, my friends, but I'm limited in what I can do in every day.
[01:19:26.080 -> 01:19:28.520] So let's talk about how you're coping.
[01:19:28.520 -> 01:19:36.360] In my darkest days or my biggest challenges and my lack of hope and despair, I was lucky
[01:19:36.360 -> 01:19:41.440] enough to have people like my father and my girlfriend that I felt I was comfortable enough
[01:19:41.440 -> 01:19:45.360] to reach out to and tell them exactly how I was feeling
[01:19:45.360 -> 01:19:51.840] to show that kind of that vulnerable side of myself, which maybe as you know, as a fellow
[01:19:51.840 -> 01:19:53.720] man that can be difficult at times.
[01:19:53.720 -> 01:19:57.840] And what would you like to leave as your one final message to the people listening to this
[01:19:57.840 -> 01:19:58.840] podcast?
[01:19:58.840 -> 01:20:02.560] I think through my experience, if I can share anything through my experience and if something
[01:20:02.560 -> 01:20:05.500] can, can somebody can take something from my
[01:20:05.500 -> 01:20:11.220] story is the biggest thing I think is gratitude.
[01:20:11.220 -> 01:20:14.540] Just to have a whole lot of gratitude for the smallest things.
[01:20:14.540 -> 01:20:19.860] I suppose previously I would have lived a little bit in the fast lane, kind of always
[01:20:19.860 -> 01:20:22.600] looking at the future, what's next?
[01:20:22.600 -> 01:20:25.960] How can I achieve this, whether it was myself,
[01:20:25.960 -> 01:20:27.400] whether it was with my health and fitness,
[01:20:27.400 -> 01:20:30.680] whether it was with my football team, my students,
[01:20:30.680 -> 01:20:32.840] you're always looking at what's next, what's next.
[01:20:32.840 -> 01:20:35.760] Whereas sometimes it's, or a lot of the time,
[01:20:35.760 -> 01:20:39.040] I think it's very important to just, to be present,
[01:20:39.040 -> 01:20:43.240] you know, and to be appreciative and have the gratitude
[01:20:43.240 -> 01:20:45.600] for the smallest little things we have in our lives.
[01:20:45.600 -> 01:20:50.200] Because I think the small things, they're the big things.
[01:20:50.200 -> 01:20:54.600] And that's what I've realized in this experience so far.
[01:20:54.600 -> 01:20:58.000] And I don't think I'll ever forget that.
[01:20:58.000 -> 01:21:00.000] You know what, James, thank you so much for sharing that.
[01:21:00.000 -> 01:21:03.400] Because, you know, I sometimes think that people assume,
[01:21:03.400 -> 01:21:09.440] because I host the High Performance Podcast, right, and I speak to all these people, 160 odd episodes or whatever,
[01:21:09.440 -> 01:21:13.480] that I've got nothing to learn, right? But to hear you having gone through what you've
[01:21:13.480 -> 01:21:18.280] gone through, and for you to have had so much taken away from you, but then for me to be
[01:21:18.280 -> 01:21:22.920] able to sit here and remember that you are putting gratitude at the top of your list
[01:21:22.920 -> 01:21:26.480] when it comes to lessons you want to share.
[01:21:26.480 -> 01:21:30.480] Because of you, I'm going to make sure that after we have this chat, I go off and I keep
[01:21:30.480 -> 01:21:35.960] that at the forefront of my mind. So thank you from me for that, but also thank you for
[01:21:35.960 -> 01:21:40.400] coming on and sharing what you've been through, what you've learned and where you're going
[01:21:40.400 -> 01:21:47.320] with so many people who will be listening to this and will be moved by your story. And I speak for every single one of them.
[01:21:47.320 -> 01:21:51.480] When I say we wish you the very best of success with your
[01:21:51.480 -> 01:21:53.480] continuing treatment.
[01:21:53.480 -> 01:21:55.440] I really hope that it works out well for you, man,
[01:21:55.440 -> 01:21:57.440] and make sure you keep in touch.
[01:21:57.440 -> 01:21:58.400] Thanks very much, Jake.
[01:21:58.400 -> 01:21:59.400] It's been a pleasure.
[01:22:01.360 -> 01:22:02.240] So there you go.
[01:22:02.240 -> 01:22:04.560] Look, I know that 80% of the people listening to
[01:22:04.560 -> 01:22:06.040] High Performance found it for the first time in 2022. So there you go. Look, I know that 80% of the people listening to high performance found
[01:22:06.040 -> 01:22:10.440] it for the first time in 2022. So this is the first time you've listened to this at
[01:22:10.440 -> 01:22:14.880] the start of 2023. Please go into the back catalogue, have a look at some of the incredible
[01:22:14.880 -> 01:22:20.000] people that we've spoken to because they will be and can be a real game changer for you.
[01:22:20.000 -> 01:22:23.120] Let me know what you think of this conversation with Ryland. Don't forget, it makes a huge
[01:22:23.120 -> 01:22:25.320] difference to us. If you can subscribe to this podcast
[01:22:25.320 -> 01:22:27.640] or you can subscribe to our YouTube channel.
[01:22:27.640 -> 01:22:29.680] It means we can grow High Performance to the point
[01:22:29.680 -> 01:22:31.840] where the biggest names on the planet want to come
[01:22:31.840 -> 01:22:33.760] and have a conversation with us.
[01:22:33.760 -> 01:22:35.840] Thank you so much for coming and listening.
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[01:22:43.140 -> 01:22:45.000] Remain humble, curious and empathetic.
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