Podcast: The High Performance
Published Date:
Tue, 20 Sep 2022 00:00:35 GMT
Duration:
1:22:39
Explicit:
False
Guests:
MP3 Audio:
Please note that the summary is generated based on the transcript and may not capture all the nuances or details discussed in the podcast episode.
Mo Gawdat is an Egyptian author and entrepreneur. Previously he held the position of Chief Business Officer for Google X, he is now host of the popular podcast Slow Mo. Mo is known for creating the happiness equation. Mo has co-founded more than 20 businesses, and continues to mentor ten start-ups at one time.
In this episode Mo discusses how the death of his beloved son Ali, began his search for happiness and doing good. Although he has suffered tragedy within his life, Mo’s aim was to come through suffering and “make things better” for others. Mo discusses flow state, the importance of learning and how he achieves his highest performance whilst playing video games.
Mo shares the importance of not trying to cheat your way to high performance and “miss blocks”, stating we should be focusing on “looking under our feet, not at the target”.
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**Section 1: Introduction of Mo Gawdat and the Podcast's Theme**
- Mo Gawdat is an Egyptian author, entrepreneur, and former Chief Business Officer of Google X.
- He is the host of the popular podcast, "Slow Mo," where he discusses happiness, well-being, and the pursuit of a meaningful life.
- In this episode, Mo shares his insights on happiness, the loss of his son Ali, and the importance of living a life focused on well-being and fulfillment.
**Section 2: Mo Gawdat's Definition of High Performance**
- Mo defines high performance as achieving what you are supposed to achieve in the most efficient way possible.
- He emphasizes the importance of defining what you want to achieve before pursuing it, as simply achieving success or wealth without other aspects of life such as happiness and fulfillment is not true high performance.
**Section 3: Societal Influences on the Pursuit of Happiness**
- Mo discusses how society often promotes the pursuit of material possessions and external validation as the keys to happiness.
- He argues that this societal narrative can lead to a hedonic treadmill, where people constantly chase after new experiences and possessions without finding lasting happiness.
**Section 4: The Impact of Ali's Death on Mo's Journey**
- Mo shares the story of his son Ali's death and how it profoundly impacted his perspective on life and happiness.
- He realized that the pursuit of external validation and material possessions was ultimately futile and that true happiness comes from within.
**Section 5: Shifting from a Hyper-Masculine Approach to a Balanced Life**
- Mo reflects on his earlier years when he adopted a hyper-masculine approach to life, prioritizing competitiveness and achievement.
- He emphasizes the importance of integrating both masculine and feminine qualities, such as intuition, creativity, and playfulness, to achieve a more balanced and fulfilling life.
**Section 6: The Dangers of Hyper-Masculinity and Its Impact on the World**
- Mo discusses the negative consequences of a hyper-masculine approach to life, including the prioritization of doing over being, the destruction of the planet, and the erosion of human connection.
- He calls for a shift towards a more balanced approach that values both doing and being, and that prioritizes the well-being of both individuals and the planet.
**Section 7: The Happiness Equation and the Pursuit of Contentment**
- Mo introduces his "happiness equation," which states that happiness equals the ratio of positive experiences to negative experiences.
- He emphasizes the importance of focusing on increasing positive experiences and reducing negative experiences to achieve a state of contentment and well-being.
**Section 8: The Importance of Accepting Life as It Is**
- Mo stresses the importance of accepting life as it is, with both its joys and challenges.
- He argues that resistance to reality only leads to suffering and that true happiness comes from embracing the present moment and accepting it for what it is.
**Section 9: The Power of Flow State and the Importance of Learning**
- Mo discusses the concept of flow state, a state of intense focus and engagement in an activity, and its role in achieving high performance.
- He emphasizes the importance of learning and acquiring new skills to maintain a state of flow and to continue growing and evolving as individuals.
**Section 10: Avoiding Shortcuts and Focusing on the Basics**
- Mo cautions against taking shortcuts and emphasizes the importance of focusing on the basics and building a strong foundation.
- He believes that trying to cheat your way to high performance by skipping steps or cutting corners ultimately leads to failure.
**Section 11: The Importance of Not Missing Blocks on the Way to High Performance**
- Mo uses the analogy of a video game to illustrate the importance of not missing blocks or skipping steps on the path to high performance.
- He argues that consistent long-term high performance cannot be achieved by missing blocks along the way.
**Section 12: Mo's Advice for Achieving High Performance**
- Mo emphasizes the importance of setting clear goals, focusing on the present moment, and taking action towards your goals.
- He also stresses the need to embrace challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning.
**Section 13: The Takeaway: Happiness is a Choice**
- Mo concludes the episode by reiterating that happiness is a choice and that it is within everyone's reach.
- He encourages listeners to take control of their happiness and to make choices that align with their values and bring them joy and fulfillment.
**Navigating the Path to Happiness: Lessons from Mo Gawdat's Podcast**
* **Embrace the Importance of Happiness:** Mo Gawdat, a former Google X executive and author of the book "Solve for Happy," emphasizes the significance of prioritizing happiness in life. He believes that happiness is a crucial component in a world that is increasingly chaotic and uncertain.
* **Avoid Shortcuts to High Performance:** Gawdat stresses the importance of avoiding shortcuts in the pursuit of high performance. He believes that consistently doing the right things over time leads to true success and fulfillment. Focusing on the small, seemingly insignificant steps rather than solely aiming for grand achievements is essential.
* **Practice Flow State:** Gawdat highlights the concept of flow state, a state of intense focus and engagement in an activity. He suggests that activities like playing video games can help individuals achieve flow state and enhance their overall performance.
* **Learn from Mistakes:** Gawdat encourages individuals to embrace mistakes as learning opportunities rather than setbacks. He believes that mistakes are inevitable and that dwelling on them is counterproductive. Instead, he advocates for learning from errors and moving forward with a positive mindset.
* **Accept Reality:** Gawdat emphasizes the importance of accepting reality as it is, rather than trying to change it according to one's desires. He suggests a simple flowchart to help individuals navigate difficult situations: Is it true? Can I do something about it? Can I accept it and make the best of it?
* **Set Realistic Goals:** Gawdat distinguishes between ambitions and expectations. He encourages individuals to set ambitious goals but maintain realistic expectations. He believes that aiming for unrealistic targets can lead to disappointment and frustration.
* **Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome:** Gawdat emphasizes the importance of focusing on the process rather than solely fixating on the outcome. He believes that by concentrating on the steps and actions necessary to achieve a goal, individuals can stay motivated and engaged throughout the journey.
* **Cultivate Gratitude:** Gawdat stresses the significance of practicing gratitude. He believes that appreciating the positive aspects of life, no matter how small, can significantly enhance happiness and overall well-being.
* **Seek Connections with Others:** Gawdat highlights the importance of building meaningful connections with others. He believes that strong relationships and a sense of community contribute significantly to happiness and fulfillment.
* **Embrace Lifelong Learning:** Gawdat emphasizes the importance of continuous learning and personal growth throughout life. He encourages individuals to seek new experiences, challenge themselves, and expand their knowledge and skills.
## Summary: Mo Gawdat's High-Performance Mindset for Happiness and Success
**Introduction:**
- Mo Gawdat is an Egyptian author, entrepreneur, and former Chief Business Officer at Google X.
- This podcast episode explores Gawdat's journey to happiness and high performance after the tragic loss of his son, Ali.
**Key Points:**
1. **The Importance of Flow State:**
- Gawdat emphasizes the significance of achieving flow state, a state of heightened focus and engagement, to enhance performance.
- Flow is achieved when the task is slightly more challenging than one's skills, leading to a sense of total immersion and optimal performance.
- Focusing on the components of a task rather than the big picture helps induce flow.
2. **Learning and Personal Growth:**
- Gawdat stresses the importance of continuous learning and personal growth throughout life.
- He recommends investing an hour daily in learning through reading, watching documentaries, or engaging in meaningful online content.
- Over time, this consistent learning can lead to significant advantages in knowledge and skills compared to peers.
3. **Embracing Spirituality:**
- Gawdat believes in the power of spirituality as a personal journey to explore things beyond the physical realm.
- Spirituality is unique to each individual and can involve pondering concepts like love, consciousness, and the existence of a higher power.
- By delving into spiritual exploration, individuals can develop their own personalized spirituality that resonates with them.
4. **Cultivating Optimism:**
- Gawdat encourages listeners to adopt an optimistic outlook by acknowledging that their worst nightmares have never materialized.
- Focusing on the fact that they are alive and have access to technology and comforts is a reminder of the overall goodness of life.
- The idea that "you've survived 100% of your worst days" serves as a powerful reminder to maintain optimism.
5. **Finding Highlights:**
- Gawdat emphasizes the importance of finding highlights or positive aspects in life, even amidst challenges.
- Research indicates that 99.9% of life is positive, highlighting the need to focus on the good rather than dwelling on the negative.
- Recognizing and appreciating the highlights can lead to a more balanced and optimistic perspective on life.
6. **Gaining Perspective:**
- Gawdat stresses the significance of gaining perspective to understand different viewpoints and avoid making unfair judgments.
- He shares a personal story where he realized his own limited perspective in a business conflict, leading to a reconciliation.
- Empathy and understanding others' perspectives can foster better relationships and prevent misunderstandings.
7. **Choosing High-Performance Activities:**
- Gawdat advises listeners to focus on performing well in activities that truly matter to them rather than striving for brilliance in unimportant areas.
- He emphasizes the importance of identifying and prioritizing activities that align with one's values and goals.
- This approach leads to a more fulfilling and meaningful life, centered around activities that genuinely matter.
**Conclusion:**
Mo Gawdat's insights provide valuable guidance for individuals seeking happiness, high performance, and personal growth. By embracing flow state, continuous learning, spirituality, optimism, finding highlights, gaining perspective, and choosing meaningful activities, individuals can unlock their full potential and lead more fulfilling lives.
# Mo Gawdat: The Quest for Happiness and Doing Good
**Summary**
In this episode of the High Performance podcast, host Jake Humphrey and guests Steve Marrer and Jason Vale discuss Mo Gawdat's journey to find happiness and do good in the world. Gawdat, a former Chief Business Officer at Google X, shares his insights on the importance of learning, flow state, and not trying to cheat your way to high performance.
Gawdat emphasizes the significance of focusing on the present moment and not getting caught up in the past or the future. He believes that we should strive to be in a state of flow, where we are fully engaged and focused on the task at hand. Gawdat also cautions against trying to take shortcuts or cheat our way to success, as this will ultimately lead to disappointment and failure.
The discussion also touches on the importance of failure and the need to embrace it as a learning opportunity. Gawdat stresses that we should not be afraid to take risks and try new things, even if we are afraid of failing. He believes that it is through failure that we learn and grow as individuals.
Overall, the episode provides valuable insights into the importance of happiness, doing good, and achieving high performance. Gawdat's message is inspiring and motivating, and his advice is sure to resonate with listeners.
**Key Points**
* Mo Gawdat is an Egyptian author and entrepreneur who is known for creating the happiness equation.
* Gawdat has co-founded more than 20 businesses and continues to mentor ten start-ups at a time.
* Gawdat's aim is to come through suffering and "make things better" for others.
* Gawdat discusses flow state, the importance of learning, and how he achieves his highest performance while playing video games.
* Gawdat shares the importance of not trying to cheat your way to high performance and "miss blocks", stating we should be focusing on "looking under our feet, not at the target".
**Memorable Quotes**
* "I want to listen now to that conversation two, three, four times over because I know that every time I listen to it I will get something more from it." - Toby Valliery
* "What he's offering us is the quest that he's been on. He made that distinction between a quest and a journey to understand the importance of happiness." - Toby Valliery
* "I really liked it when he was talking about that as well, when he was kind of saying that, you know, you've got the facts, like the thing, everything else is kind of added on, made up, your interpretation, your opinion of what else might be there." - Steve Marrer
* "I think another thing that's thrown me off, I'd be interested in your view on it Jake, is that 90 second rule about how you can only hold anger in your system for 90 seconds." - Steve Marrer
* "And again, I think it's a real challenge to this idea of the traditional view of high performance. We're constantly striving for the next thing and the next thing, whereas sometimes high performance is just being happy where we are." - Steve Marrer
**Actionable Tips**
* Focus on the present moment and avoid dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
* Strive to be in a state of flow, where you are fully engaged and focused on the task at hand.
* Don't try to cheat your way to success, as this will ultimately lead to disappointment and failure.
* Embrace failure as a learning opportunity and don't be afraid to take risks and try new things.
* Be compassionate and humble, and always strive to do good in the world.
[00:00.000 -> 00:05.000] Hey, I'm Jake Humphrey and you're listening to High Performance, our conversation for
[00:05.000 -> 00:11.760] you every single week. This is the podcast that reminds you that it's within. Your ambition,
[00:11.760 -> 00:16.520] your purpose, your story, it's all within. We just help you unlock it by turning the
[00:16.520 -> 00:21.440] lived experiences of the planet's highest performers into your life lessons. So right
[00:21.440 -> 00:25.120] now allow myself and Professor Damien Hughes to speak to the greatest
[00:25.120 -> 00:30.240] leaders, thinkers, sports stars and entrepreneurs on the planet so they can be your teacher.
[00:30.240 -> 00:36.000] Remember this podcast is not about high achievement or high success, it's about high happiness,
[00:36.000 -> 00:42.720] it's about high self-worth and taking you closer to a life of fulfillment, empathy and understanding.
[00:43.480 -> 00:47.440] fulfillment, empathy and understanding. Today, this is in store.
[00:47.440 -> 00:48.640] I don't know what to tell you, Jake.
[00:48.640 -> 00:51.040] I have seen everything.
[00:51.040 -> 00:52.120] I've seen everything.
[00:52.120 -> 00:55.200] I've seen every pleasure, every joy,
[00:55.200 -> 00:58.120] every pain, every suffering, every test.
[00:58.120 -> 00:59.720] I've seen so much.
[00:59.720 -> 01:02.160] And so after a while, you somehow look at all of it
[01:02.160 -> 01:07.000] and you go like, yeah, so do I want one more of these?
[01:07.000 -> 01:12.000] Should I spend a minute of my life chasing one more of these?
[01:12.000 -> 01:16.000] And the funny thing is when you stop chasing, everything falls in place.
[01:17.000 -> 01:21.000] The experience of losing Ali, Ali was everything.
[01:21.000 -> 01:27.000] Ali was my son but was also my teacher, he was also my coach, he was also my best friend. كان كل شيء. علي كان أبنائي، لكنه كان أيضاً دراسي. كان أيضاً ركبتي، كان أيضاً صديقتي الأفضل.
[01:27.000 -> 01:30.000] وكان حقاً أحد الأشخاص.
[01:30.000 -> 01:34.000] أعني، أشعر أنه فقدته للعالم، ليس فقط لي.
[01:34.000 -> 01:37.000] نعيش في عالم يسرع فيه هذا.
[01:37.000 -> 01:41.000] لذلك، بالنسبة للغاية، ما نفعله ونحن جيدين به جداً
[01:41.000 -> 01:43.000] هو تبني أكثر من الأشياء.
[01:43.000 -> 01:47.040] نقوم بسرعة تسليمهم. نجعلهم يتوقفون أسرع لكي تشتري أكثر منهم. very good at it is we build more products, we sell them faster, we make them expire quicker
[01:47.040 -> 01:52.800] so that you buy more of them, we package them really well, we sell them all over the place
[01:52.800 -> 01:58.880] and deliver them and in the process we're destroying our planet. The game of life is
[01:58.880 -> 02:05.800] we want those shortcuts but those shortcuts for so many of us that got them, end up with a disaster
[02:05.800 -> 02:10.960] because you positioned yourself in a place that was bigger than where you are.
[02:10.960 -> 02:16.760] Consistent long-term high performance cannot stand missing blocks on the way.
[02:16.760 -> 02:20.960] He dreamt that he was everywhere and part of everyone.
[02:20.960 -> 02:26.580] Which yes, just kills my heart every time I remember it because some people say
[02:26.580 -> 02:29.940] that this is the description of death.
[02:29.940 -> 02:33.260] Oh so today we welcome Mo Gawdat to the
[02:33.260 -> 02:37.380] high-performance podcast the former chief business officer of Google X. Google
[02:37.380 -> 02:40.620] X is the part of their business charged with coming up with the most crazy
[02:40.620 -> 02:44.340] things you can imagine he's an incredibly smart guy but he's also a guy
[02:44.340 -> 02:47.040] who's changed and he's changed through
[02:47.040 -> 02:50.000] tragedy, and you're going to hear him talk about that.
[02:50.000 -> 02:56.080] I can't recommend highly enough his podcast, Slow Mo, where he talks so much about happiness,
[02:56.080 -> 03:01.440] and he will discuss on this podcast the happiness equation, and he believes that you can retrain
[03:01.440 -> 03:02.720] your brain.
[03:02.720 -> 03:09.640] You know already that you need to go to the gym and that you need to train your body, but none of us think often enough about the untapped
[03:09.640 -> 03:15.760] potential that our brain has. You are all bright, you are all brilliant, but also you
[03:15.760 -> 03:22.800] all need to work at it. Being happy takes hard work, but you know what? It gives results,
[03:22.800 -> 03:25.000] it works, and Mo is about to explain exactly that.
[03:25.000 -> 03:28.000] And I've said so many times that when I started this podcast,
[03:28.000 -> 03:32.000] I wanted you to hear about the struggles and the setbacks and the knockdowns
[03:32.000 -> 03:36.000] and the hard times and the clawing for that inch so you can be successful.
[03:36.000 -> 03:40.000] And my definition of high performance has changed immeasurably
[03:40.000 -> 03:45.000] since that very first episode with Rio Ferdinand three years ago.
[03:45.000 -> 03:49.000] My definition now of high performance is being happy.
[03:49.000 -> 03:51.000] How can it be anything else?
[03:51.000 -> 03:52.000] And you know what?
[03:52.000 -> 03:55.000] We're tricked into thinking that we don't deserve to be happy.
[03:55.000 -> 03:57.000] Well, I can tell you right now, listen to this.
[03:57.000 -> 04:02.000] Not only do you deserve to be happy, you should be happy.
[04:02.000 -> 04:04.000] And happiness is there for you.
[04:04.000 -> 04:06.680] And Mo will explain it's a choice
[04:06.680 -> 04:10.120] and it's a choice you can make after listening to this.
[04:10.120 -> 04:12.520] It's a choice that is dependent upon the actions
[04:12.520 -> 04:14.400] that you take and the decisions that you make,
[04:14.400 -> 04:15.920] but guess what?
[04:15.920 -> 04:17.600] You're about to hear what they are
[04:17.600 -> 04:19.320] and how you could adopt them.
[04:19.320 -> 04:20.760] It's a fantastic episode.
[04:20.760 -> 04:22.840] I feel so honored to have welcomed Mo
[04:22.840 -> 04:24.080] to the High Performance Podcast.
[04:24.080 -> 04:30.280] I've wanted to have this conversation for months, and now we finally get the chance. Welcome to
[04:30.280 -> 04:38.240] the High Performance Podcast with Mo Gaudette.
[04:38.240 -> 04:43.560] As a person with a very deep voice, I'm hired all the time for advertising campaigns, but
[04:43.560 -> 04:45.720] a deep voice doesn't sell B2B and advertising But a deep voice doesn't sell B2B.
[04:45.720 -> 04:49.240] And advertising on the wrong platform doesn't sell B2B either.
[04:49.240 -> 04:53.320] That's why if you're a B2B marketer, you should use LinkedIn ads.
[04:53.320 -> 04:57.280] LinkedIn has the targeting capabilities to help you reach the world's largest professional
[04:57.280 -> 04:58.280] audience.
[04:58.280 -> 05:02.320] That's right, over 70 million decision makers all in one place.
[05:02.320 -> 05:04.880] All the big wigs, then medium wigs.
[05:04.880 -> 05:07.720] Also small wigs, who are on the path to becoming big wigs.
[05:07.720 -> 05:09.840] Okay, that's enough about wigs.
[05:09.840 -> 05:14.280] LinkedIn ads allows you to focus on getting your B2B message to the right people.
[05:14.280 -> 05:19.400] So does that mean you should use ads on LinkedIn instead of hiring me, the man with the deepest
[05:19.400 -> 05:20.840] voice in the world?
[05:20.840 -> 05:21.840] Yes.
[05:21.840 -> 05:23.020] Yes, it does.
[05:23.020 -> 05:26.460] Get started today and see why LinkedIn is the place to be, to
[05:26.460 -> 05:32.640] be. We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com slash results
[05:32.640 -> 05:40.640] to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply.
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[07:21.160 -> 07:23.520] Well, let's start then with your definition,
[07:23.520 -> 07:26.360] if you would, of high performance.
[07:26.360 -> 07:32.000] High performance in my view is the most efficient way to achieve what you're supposed to achieve
[07:32.000 -> 07:36.680] and I think that what you're supposed to achieve is usually the bit that is missed out. So
[07:36.680 -> 07:47.640] if you head out in life and you're supposed to achieve a reasonable mix of happiness, enjoyment, connection to your loved ones and
[07:47.640 -> 07:53.120] success and money and you end up really efficiently achieving a lot of success
[07:53.120 -> 07:59.240] and money but not the rest of it, that's very poor performance. I think the
[07:59.240 -> 08:03.620] preface if you want to high performance is to define what it is that you're
[08:03.620 -> 08:08.240] supposed to achieve and then achieve it as efficiently as you can. So why is society
[08:08.240 -> 08:11.820] busy telling us that it's the big houses and the fast cars and the pay packets
[08:11.820 -> 08:16.940] that define high performance rather than the truth and honesty with your partner
[08:16.940 -> 08:21.000] or children at the end of the day? Well I think that we live in a highly capitalist
[08:21.000 -> 08:26.000] society, a society that is entirely based on I need to sell you something and مجتمع مستقل جداً مجتمع مستقل جداً مستقل جداً
[08:26.000 -> 08:28.000] مستقل جداً
[08:28.000 -> 08:30.000] مستقل جداً
[08:30.000 -> 08:32.000] مستقل جداً
[08:32.000 -> 08:34.000] مستقل جداً
[08:34.000 -> 08:36.000] مستقل جداً
[08:36.000 -> 08:38.000] مستقل جداً
[08:38.000 -> 08:40.000] مستقل جداً
[08:40.000 -> 08:42.000] مستقل جداً
[08:42.000 -> 08:44.000] مستقل جداً
[08:44.000 -> 08:49.760] مستقل جداً مستقل جداً there is nothing out there to make you unhappy, then your true reality is calm and peaceful and contented and happy with life. Now because the society
[08:49.760 -> 08:53.440] cannot sell you that, cannot sell you contentment, not the society but let's
[08:53.440 -> 08:57.840] say the businesses running our society cannot sell you that, what they sell you
[08:57.840 -> 09:02.360] instead is run run run. You need another car, you need a better suit,
[09:02.360 -> 09:08.280] you need a better dress, you need a taller girlfriend, you need another car, you need a better suit, you need a better dress, you need a taller girlfriend, you need a, you know, whatever.
[09:08.280 -> 09:10.480] And they keep selling you those things.
[09:10.480 -> 09:12.680] And we believe the story.
[09:12.680 -> 09:16.880] We believe that we need those things to achieve happiness.
[09:16.880 -> 09:18.700] And so we chase them.
[09:18.700 -> 09:22.560] And sadly, for most of us, I think you would probably agree.
[09:22.560 -> 09:28.000] And everyone listening, I would say that yes, you do achieve some of what you had out to achieve and then you find that emptiness. أعتقد أنك ستتفق مع أغلبنا، وكل من يستمع، سأقول أنك تحصل على بعض ما كان عليك فعله
[09:28.000 -> 09:31.000] ومن ثم تجد ذلك الهواء، هل هذا هو؟
[09:31.000 -> 09:37.000] ومن ثم تقول لنفسك، ربما شرحت لك الزجاجة المخطئة، ربما يجب عليك شرح لك أخر زجاج
[09:37.000 -> 09:43.000] ولكن ربما زجاج مختلف، ومن ثم تقول ربما يجب عليك شرح لك أخر زجاج
[09:43.000 -> 09:45.320] إذا أحصل على أكثر من ذلك، فسيكون بخير، أو أنني أفوت هذا أو ذلك and then you go and say, oh, maybe I should buy two, right? If I get two, I think it will be fine.
[09:45.320 -> 09:47.960] Oh, I'm missing this or I'm missing that.
[09:47.960 -> 09:51.080] And we keep running in that hedonic treadmill
[09:51.080 -> 09:52.800] until eventually for most of us,
[09:52.800 -> 09:54.560] it's known as the middle age crisis
[09:54.560 -> 09:57.120] where it suddenly really hits you.
[09:57.120 -> 10:00.120] Middle age is not the midpoint of your life.
[10:00.120 -> 10:02.320] It's the point where you suddenly go like,
[10:02.320 -> 10:04.740] I've been running so much, I've been running so fast,
[10:04.740 -> 10:11.780] I was told that those things were gonna make a difference to me and now I've achieved them and I'm so empty
[10:12.040 -> 10:18.740] What's wrong? And once you get into that state, that's the state where most of us start to wake up
[10:19.380 -> 10:21.380] So no retelling of your story Mo
[10:22.320 -> 10:28.320] is able to avoid the trauma of the death of your son Ali when he was 21 and Bydd y ddiawn o'ch stori, Mo, yn gallu awtomatio'r trauma o'r mynegion o'ch syn, Ali, pan oedd 21.
[10:29.360 -> 10:36.800] A dwi'n ddiddorol bod chi'n ddewis person logig. Ac pan ddweudwn am y stori,
[10:36.800 -> 10:42.960] roedd llawer o ddewis sy'n digwydd. A oeddech chi'n dweud i ni ychydig am sut
[10:43.680 -> 10:46.600] mae'r profiad hwnnw wedi'i ffynnu'r gwaith rydych chi'n ei wneud a'r gwybodaethau rydych chi'n rhedeg heddiw? Would you tell us a little bit about how that experience shaped the work that you do and
[10:46.600 -> 10:49.320] the messages that you're sharing today?
[10:49.320 -> 10:54.160] I'm a very logical person, but also reasonably high on EQ.
[10:54.160 -> 11:01.480] And, you know, I've attempted in my life over the years to shift from the hyper masculine
[11:01.480 -> 11:05.300] approach to life that took us through, you know,
[11:05.300 -> 11:07.960] that took me very far to being chief business officer
[11:07.960 -> 11:09.760] of Google X or whatever,
[11:09.760 -> 11:14.360] to also internalizing my own being,
[11:14.360 -> 11:16.220] my own feelings and emotions.
[11:16.220 -> 11:20.600] The experience of losing Ali, Ali was everything.
[11:20.600 -> 11:23.680] Ali was my son, but was also my teacher.
[11:23.680 -> 11:26.240] He was also my coach. he was also my best friend
[11:27.120 -> 11:33.360] and he was truly a one-of-a-kind. I mean I feel that his loss is a loss to the world not just for
[11:33.360 -> 11:40.960] me but then he left our world because of a preventable surgical mistake that you know was
[11:42.160 -> 11:48.000] fixable but they did five of them in a row and they fixed three of them wrong and so in four كانوا مستقبلاً ولكنهم فعلوا خمسة منهم في رقم وفعلوا ثلاثة منهم خطأً
[11:48.000 -> 11:54.000] وذلك في أربعة ساعتين تركت أبنائينا العظيم والعزيزي لحالتنا
[11:54.000 -> 11:59.000] الآن يمكنك أن تأخذ هذا من خلال الوضع ويمكنك أن تأخذ هذا من خلال الأحساس
[11:59.000 -> 12:04.000] يمكنك أن تأخذه بطريقة مباشرة لكي تضرب الأرض بأي طريقة
[12:04.000 -> 12:28.000] أو يمكنك أن تأخذه لتحرب الأرض بكل طريقة أو تأخذها لتحاول أن تصنع الأمور أفضل و أعتقد أن ما حدث في ذلك الوقت كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان مثل ما أعتقد أنه كان معة أنني أحتاج إلى أن أكون في المرحلة الخامسة من المرور
[12:28.000 -> 12:35.000] فبالطبع نحن نقاوم بالمرحلة خلال المرحلة الخامسة وخلالها يسمى الإقبال
[12:35.000 -> 12:39.000] وفي بعضنا يأخذ الأسبوع أو أشهر وفي بعضنا يأخذ حياتنا
[12:39.000 -> 12:46.320] لتقبل أن هذا ما أعطاه الحياة لك وأنك لا يمكنك تحويله this is what life has given you and that you cannot reverse it and there is a finality to death
[12:47.280 -> 12:54.080] that just cripples you as an executive who's known to run everything and make sure that everything
[12:54.080 -> 12:58.640] happens exactly as you want it to happen. This is what I was paid for my whole life, you know,
[12:58.640 -> 13:06.760] to make sure that everything's under control. But then you lose a loved one and you suddenly realize that you have zero control.
[13:06.760 -> 13:09.600] Like that is nothing within your life is really,
[13:09.600 -> 13:11.560] the stuff that really matters
[13:11.560 -> 13:13.840] is not really within your control.
[13:13.840 -> 13:18.000] And so my logical side, of course, did the right things.
[13:18.000 -> 13:21.680] You know, I reported the case so that the, you know,
[13:21.680 -> 13:23.600] Ministry of Health did the right things.
[13:23.600 -> 13:26.000] And, you know, the hospital was alerted of Health did the right things and the hospital was
[13:26.000 -> 13:31.440] alerted or penalized the right way so that this mistake doesn't happen again. I comforted my
[13:31.440 -> 13:36.240] family, I took care of them and so on and so forth. These are the logical steps that you need to do.
[13:37.360 -> 13:45.000] It's the emotional, I think, that really, really got me to be with you today. So after Ali left us, وقال لي أن أكون معك اليوم بعد أن تركنا علي
[13:45.000 -> 13:47.000] بعد 4 أيام
[13:47.000 -> 13:49.000] أختي أيا
[13:49.000 -> 13:51.000] كانت حقا قريبة جدا من أيا
[13:51.000 -> 13:53.000] وقام حقا بأعتنائها
[13:53.000 -> 13:55.000] كمثالي المسكين
[13:55.000 -> 13:56.000] إذا أردت
[13:56.000 -> 13:58.000] وقال لها
[13:58.000 -> 13:59.000] أنها عادت إلى مونتريال
[13:59.000 -> 14:01.000] وعادت إلى بوستن
[14:01.000 -> 14:03.000] وقال لها كل يوم
[14:03.000 -> 14:04.000] على الأقل لساعة
[14:04.000 -> 14:11.400] وهي مختلفة جدا كما تعلمين كبير كان عمره 21 في ذلك الوقت and he spoke to her every single day at least for an hour which is very unlike you know a teenage or a he was 21 at the time she was still in her teens and and
[14:11.400 -> 14:18.040] she came to me and said around two weeks ago he had a dream and he dreamt that he
[14:18.040 -> 14:23.400] was everywhere and part of everyone which yes just kills my heart every time
[14:23.400 -> 14:28.000] I remember it because some people say that this is the description of death و هذا يقتل قلبي كل مرة أتذكره لأن بعض الناس يقولون أن هذا هو تصوير الموت
[14:28.000 -> 14:35.000] في عملي في سولف فور هابي أتصور الموت كطرح لتنفس من وقت الوقت المتسلل
[14:35.000 -> 14:48.000] و هذا يسمح لك بأن تكون في كل مكان و في كل وقت وعندما سمعت هذا كمؤسس عملية كل ما حدث في رأسي كان أنني سمعت قوة
[14:48.000 -> 14:49.000] موضوع
[14:49.000 -> 14:54.000] حسناً، أخي، أبني، أصدقائي والدنيا
[14:54.000 -> 14:55.000] يقومون بإعطائي موضوع
[14:55.000 -> 14:58.000] يقول إنه يجعلني في كل مكان وفي جزء من الجميع
[14:58.000 -> 15:01.000] وسمعت نفسي قول
[15:01.000 -> 15:04.000] حسناً يا حبيبي، تعتبرها قد إنتهت
[15:04.000 -> 15:08.000] في ذلك الوقت، قمت بمعكة جوجل لأربع أو نين سنوات
[15:08.000 -> 15:10.000] كنت أعرف كيفية الوصول إلى الملايين
[15:10.000 -> 15:12.000] هذا كان مهارتي
[15:12.000 -> 15:14.000] قلت مجرد فعل
[15:14.000 -> 15:17.000] وبدأت في نفسي
[15:17.000 -> 15:20.000] أن أقبل مباشرة أنه مغادر
[15:20.000 -> 15:22.000] وأنه لا يعود
[15:22.000 -> 15:24.000] وأنه الوحيد الوحيد الذي يمكنني أن أبقيه
[15:24.000 -> 15:26.080] جزء من عالمنا هو أن أخذ أساس ما أعلمه عن السعادة and he's not coming back and that the only way I can keep him part of our world is to take the
[15:26.080 -> 15:31.120] essence of what he taught me about happiness, about wisdom, and just share it with the world
[15:31.120 -> 15:37.920] so that in my mathematical calculation, you know, seven years later through six degrees of separation
[15:37.920 -> 15:47.080] he's everywhere and part of everyone. Stupid! I can look back now and say, oh, wow, how could you think that way? But it flipped
[15:47.080 -> 15:52.720] everything upside down, everything upside down. I wrote Solve for Happy, 32 languages,
[15:52.720 -> 15:59.320] bestseller in almost all of them, reached tens, hundreds of millions, you know, through
[15:59.320 -> 16:07.240] videos and content online and the book and so on and hundreds of thousands of people that would
[16:07.240 -> 16:12.400] send messages and say this actually is very different, this changed our look at life.
[16:12.400 -> 16:17.400] Can I take you back to a phrase that you used when you were describing your business career,
[16:17.400 -> 16:27.080] you spoke about this hyper masculinity that got you to a senior position at one of the world's leading organizations. I'm
[16:27.080 -> 16:31.560] interested in exploring what that phrase means and how you today look back at
[16:31.560 -> 16:36.280] that person. So we should start by saying masculine and feminine has nothing to do
[16:36.280 -> 16:42.120] with your gender, your biology, with nothing. I'm 58% feminine and I know
[16:42.120 -> 16:45.520] that's my masculine brain talking because 58%
[16:45.520 -> 16:50.960] math and logic are in the masculine side of the brain. Now does that mean that a
[16:50.960 -> 16:55.280] woman doesn't have math and logic? Of course they do. We all have a bit of
[16:55.280 -> 16:59.600] masculine and a bit of feminine in us but those feminine and masculine
[16:59.600 -> 17:08.280] qualities are basically that, they're qualities. So you could look at a problem and be intuitive
[17:08.280 -> 17:10.560] in your approach to analyzing a problem
[17:10.560 -> 17:12.880] and that intuition is a feminine quality.
[17:12.880 -> 17:15.100] Or you could be highly analytical
[17:15.100 -> 17:18.160] and that analytical approach is a masculine quality.
[17:18.160 -> 17:22.520] You could be super linear, which is masculine,
[17:22.520 -> 17:46.000] or you could be creative, which is feminine. You could be playful, which is feminine, يمكنك أن تكون مرسومة أو تكون مخلصة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مخلصة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مخلصة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مخلصة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون مرسومة أو تكون ممتعاً، فالممتع هو جيد عندما تكون من المفترض أن تكون ممتعاً كثيراً من الممتع يجعلك مقصراً
[17:46.000 -> 17:49.000] كثيراً من الممتع يجعلك ربما غير مهتم
[17:49.000 -> 17:52.000] وذلك، كانت لعبة الإنسانية
[17:52.000 -> 17:55.000] دائماً تحقيق تلك الوضع
[17:55.000 -> 17:58.000] وضع يجعلنا كمجتمع
[17:58.000 -> 18:01.000] بمناسبة تغطية كل تلك
[18:01.000 -> 18:03.000] المجموعة
[18:03.000 -> 18:06.720] ولكن أيضاً وضع يجعلك كإنسان كجزء وحده covering all of those blocks but also a balance that makes you as a human, as a single unit
[18:07.440 -> 18:08.880] true to who you really are.
[18:09.320 -> 18:09.600] Okay?
[18:09.880 -> 18:15.240] So, you know, if your reality is I'm supposed to be, you know, playful sometimes
[18:15.640 -> 18:19.400] and you're oppressing that all the time, then you're not true to yourself,
[18:19.400 -> 18:21.920] you're basically not high performance.
[18:22.000 -> 18:30.120] Why? You're not in your high performance because you're pulling yourself back, you're using some of your energy to contradict your nature,
[18:30.120 -> 18:37.680] to contradict your true abilities. Now our world in general with capitalism
[18:37.680 -> 18:42.880] since the Industrial Revolution has prioritized masculine traits. We
[18:42.880 -> 18:47.440] prioritize competitiveness, we prioritize linear thinking,
[18:47.440 -> 18:53.760] we prioritize discipline, and this is very apparent in all of, if you want to summarize it,
[18:53.760 -> 18:59.760] in all of the doing that we do. So our entire world, if you really think about it, from the
[18:59.760 -> 19:09.300] minute you wake up in the morning to the minute you know you're finally away from the modern world is about do do do do. Why? Because that's the way we can
[19:09.300 -> 19:12.980] measure progress, that's the way we can make more money, we can make more profits.
[19:12.980 -> 19:18.860] But there is so much you can achieve that is not by doing. There is so much
[19:18.860 -> 19:26.000] that you can achieve that is by being. And being is a quality of the feminine. و هذا بشكل كبير و كبير هو قوة الوزن
[19:26.000 -> 19:28.000] كبير مراري
[19:28.000 -> 19:30.000] لما يحدث في أكرين
[19:30.000 -> 19:32.000] و ليس الاختيار
[19:32.000 -> 19:34.000] و لكن المراري
[19:34.000 -> 19:36.000] التي تؤثر على العالم
[19:36.000 -> 19:38.000] و هي ما تشغل الاختيار
[19:38.000 -> 19:40.000] يمكنك أن تكون غاضبا
[19:40.000 -> 19:42.000] و إذا كنت غاضبا
[19:42.000 -> 19:44.000] في هذه الموضوع
[19:44.000 -> 19:45.000] ما يحدث لك فيكل ما تفعله؟
[19:45.000 -> 19:51.000] يحدث أنك تقول، أكره السائدين، أريد إدماع هذا، أريد فعل ذلك
[19:51.000 -> 19:55.000] هذا خطأ، أو يمكنك أن تكون مرحبا
[19:55.000 -> 20:02.000] وذلك الوضع، هذا الوضع هو ما يدفع إلى الحقيقة لما يجب أن يكون فعله
[20:02.000 -> 20:05.760] نحن نعيش في عالم ينسى ذلك of what should be done. We live in a world where that has been forgotten.
[20:05.760 -> 20:12.320] So sadly what we do, and we're very good at it, is we build more products, we sell
[20:12.320 -> 20:17.580] them faster, we make them expire quicker so that you buy more of them, we package
[20:17.580 -> 20:22.140] them really well, we sell them all over the place and deliver them, and in the
[20:22.140 -> 20:26.480] process we're destroying our planet. Now if we were able to reach
[20:26.480 -> 20:35.040] in and be and say do I really need an iPhone 14 or is my iPhone 10 really good and I can live with
[20:35.040 -> 20:41.440] it if it's going to save my planet? Do I really need another car or is my relationship to my
[20:41.440 -> 20:47.480] wife and kids more important and I can live a better life without that car?
[20:47.480 -> 20:50.440] And I think this is where things, sadly,
[20:50.440 -> 20:53.160] that hyper-masculine world is heading to an end.
[20:53.160 -> 20:57.120] Okay, I'm not a doomsday prediction,
[20:57.120 -> 21:00.560] but definitely if we don't change, if we don't stop,
[21:01.440 -> 21:07.880] we're hurting this world that we've built so drastically that it will require
[21:07.880 -> 21:08.880] a reset.
[21:08.880 -> 21:14.320] Can I just mention the beautiful picture of your son at the front of your new book? It's
[21:14.320 -> 21:30.920] a lovely pencil drawing of him, lovely long hair, smile on his face, it's a gorgeous photograph. When I think of what's happened to you since then and we started this conversation by talking about this constant chase
[21:31.160 -> 21:37.160] For thinking that the big house or the new car or the hyper masculine world is what's going to give us happiness
[21:37.800 -> 21:39.840] are you
[21:39.840 -> 21:45.000] Chasing something you think will give you happiness. Is this, is the story we're discussing
[21:45.000 -> 21:48.960] today and the conversation on this podcast and the book, do you feel it's helping you
[21:48.960 -> 21:51.940] to process and grieve?
[21:51.940 -> 21:56.440] I'm chasing nothing at all. I know that's the worst thing I can say on a high performance
[21:56.440 -> 22:04.600] podcast. I'm chasing nothing at all. I'm performing really well at the tasks that come at hand.
[22:04.600 -> 22:06.240] But I'm chasing nothing at all.
[22:06.240 -> 22:07.920] There is such an interesting side,
[22:07.920 -> 22:09.720] and it's not just because of losing Ali.
[22:09.720 -> 22:13.040] Of course, losing a loved one puts things in perspective.
[22:13.840 -> 22:16.800] Losing a child is probably the,
[22:16.800 -> 22:18.720] it's the hardest experience ever.
[22:18.720 -> 22:21.840] And also I think it puts everything in perspective,
[22:21.840 -> 22:23.920] more than anything I could think of.
[22:23.920 -> 22:26.960] But that's not the issue. The issue is that I've been so successful.
[22:27.840 -> 22:32.640] There was a point, and I am ashamed to say it, I swear I'm not bragging, there was a point where I
[22:32.640 -> 22:46.720] had 16 cars in my garage, right? And you can only drive one. I lived in a nine-bedroom place, you can only sleep in one bed. The reality is, and somehow,
[22:47.680 -> 22:55.200] when you go along the Maslow's hierarchy of needs, you realize that what makes you happy
[22:56.400 -> 23:01.600] becomes less and less of an ingredient for your happiness the more you've experienced it.
[23:02.560 -> 23:07.000] Interestingly, most of what we were told makes us happy.
[23:07.000 -> 23:12.000] I differentiate heavily between happiness, which is serotonin in your blood,
[23:12.000 -> 23:17.000] calm and peaceful contentment when you're okay with life as it is,
[23:17.000 -> 23:20.000] and excitement and elation and fun and pleasure
[23:20.000 -> 23:24.000] and all of those other replacements that are dopamine in your blood.
[23:24.000 -> 23:25.600] Dopamine basically is a j that are dopamine in your blood. Dopamine basically is a
[23:25.600 -> 23:31.680] reward, jolt of reward in your blood. Basically your body saying, oh my god that feels amazing,
[23:31.680 -> 23:38.560] I want more of it. Now when you differentiate between the two, you see that dopamine is
[23:38.560 -> 23:46.840] addictive. So the more of it you have in your life, the more you down regulate for it, you don't feel it anymore.
[23:46.840 -> 23:48.600] And so yeah, you get the first car
[23:48.600 -> 23:52.000] and you think that you're the king of the world.
[23:52.000 -> 23:56.360] And yeah, the second car is not really that big of a deal.
[23:56.360 -> 23:58.680] And the third is like a disappointment.
[23:58.680 -> 24:01.200] And the fourth is like, what am I doing with my life?
[24:01.200 -> 24:02.560] But then you continue, right?
[24:02.560 -> 24:04.880] We're all deluded in that way.
[24:04.880 -> 24:10.000] And I think what happens in reality after, ماذا أفعل بحياتي؟ لكن بعد ذلك تستمر في تحول. نحن جميعاً مخلوقين بهذا الطريق. وأعتقد أن ما يحدث في الحقيقة بعد، ربما ليس فقط بسبب فقدان علي
[24:10.000 -> 24:17.000] ولكن ربما بسبب عمره وأنني لا أعرف ماذا أقول لك يا جيك. لقد رأيت كل شيء.
[24:17.000 -> 24:25.760] لقد رأيت كل شيء. لقد رأيت كل سعادة، كل سعادة، كل صعوبة، كل مصير، كل تجربة. every joy, every pain, every suffering, every test. I've seen so much.
[24:25.760 -> 24:28.200] And so after a while, you somehow look at all of it
[24:28.200 -> 24:33.200] and you go like, yeah, so do I want one more of these?
[24:33.640 -> 24:36.480] Should I spend a minute of my life
[24:36.480 -> 24:37.760] chasing one more of these?
[24:37.760 -> 24:40.800] And the funny thing is when you stop chasing,
[24:40.800 -> 24:42.580] everything falls in place.
[24:42.580 -> 24:44.000] So why does that happen then?
[24:44.000 -> 24:46.300] Once we stop chasing, why do things place. So why does that happen then? Once we stop chasing,
[24:46.300 -> 24:51.920] why do things... Because you have to imagine that you have finite resources. Take your
[24:51.920 -> 24:57.020] intellectual horsepower, you have a finite amount of it, regardless of how intelligent
[24:57.020 -> 25:06.000] you are. You can dedicate that amount to doing what is needed, which is to focus on the conversation, know the guest reasonably well,
[25:06.000 -> 25:12.960] prepare your questions well, ask the team to edit it well, and so on. Or you can ask them to chase,
[25:12.960 -> 25:18.480] you can ask them to go and struggle with life, and you just take a chunk of your bandwidth
[25:18.480 -> 25:25.840] and put it in the chase. Actually, this is not just my style. When I joined Google in 2007, end of 2006,
[25:25.840 -> 25:28.880] you know, it blew me away because I came from Microsoft,
[25:28.880 -> 25:30.680] very competitive, love Microsoft too,
[25:30.680 -> 25:31.800] but very competitive.
[25:31.800 -> 25:34.680] Everything is on the spreadsheet, everything's calculated.
[25:34.680 -> 25:36.500] And Google was in its infancy, really.
[25:36.500 -> 25:39.320] We were just starting to make a big difference,
[25:39.320 -> 25:42.480] even though the company started a few years before.
[25:42.480 -> 25:47.100] But in Google, they didn't really care that much.
[25:47.100 -> 25:49.940] I remember I had a conversation with Larry and Sergey
[25:49.940 -> 25:53.000] very early on about, you know, maybe you can do this
[25:53.000 -> 25:54.540] and the revenue will go this way.
[25:54.540 -> 25:56.900] And their answer was very straightforward.
[25:56.900 -> 25:58.100] No, hold on.
[25:58.100 -> 26:02.380] If we give you a very good product and people love it,
[26:02.380 -> 26:04.420] and they're using it all the time,
[26:04.420 -> 26:06.000] then the money will come, right? And I was like, yeah. And they said, وانا اردت ان اصنع موضوع جيد ويحبه الناس ويستخدمونه دائماً فالمال سيأتي
[26:06.000 -> 26:08.000] وكانت انا كذلك
[26:08.000 -> 26:10.000] وقالوا ربما يجب ان نبني موضوع جيد جدا
[26:10.000 -> 26:13.000] وخاصة وخاصة في السنوات الاسابية
[26:13.000 -> 26:15.000] حيث كانت جوجل جوجل
[26:15.000 -> 26:17.000] هذا كل ما نركز عليه
[26:17.000 -> 26:19.000] سنذهب من بلد إلى بلد، لغة إلى لغة
[26:19.000 -> 26:22.000] ونبني فقط المعرفة المدهشة
[26:22.000 -> 26:24.000] لكي يجد الناس مصدر للأداء
[26:24.000 -> 26:25.240] ونعم المال ادخل build the most incredible ability for people to find access to information and yeah the
[26:25.240 -> 26:32.560] money poured in and we didn't really focus on the money pouring in part, we focused on
[26:32.560 -> 26:36.840] fulfilling the promise and the money pouring in was the by-product.
[26:36.840 -> 26:45.500] But how can you not now chase the numbers when your guiding light is the message spreading happiness?
[26:45.500 -> 26:46.500] Of a billion happiness?
[26:46.500 -> 26:52.500] Because your ego is put in check at a point in your life when you realize that something like that
[26:52.500 -> 26:56.500] is not done by you but it's done through you.
[26:56.500 -> 26:58.500] There is a mega difference.
[26:58.500 -> 27:03.000] So when you're aligning, and I know this is a bit spiritual if you want,
[27:03.000 -> 27:05.360] but if you've read the alchemist
[27:11.840 -> 27:30.480] Paolo Coelho, when you know helping life, life helps you back or at
[27:30.480 -> 27:37.600] least doesn't resist you. If you're not, life pushes back and so you have to push harder and
[27:37.600 -> 27:49.360] harder and harder. And so yes, we try really hard, we measure the numbers, we do all of those things نعم نحاول حقاً صعباً نقوم بمقارنة الاشياء التي نفعلها عندما نكون إما منافقين أو لا نتواجد بشكل متواجد بالمناسبة للآخرين
[27:49.360 -> 27:53.440] إذا ما تفعله هو مناسب للآخرين أعني أن تلك المقارنة هي مثال
[27:53.440 -> 27:58.880] لماذا تحصل على 400 ألف مستمعين في كل فلسطين أو تعلمون المستمعين في كل فلسطين
[27:58.880 -> 28:05.400] لأنك يجب أن تفعل شيئاً صحيحاً لهم يجب أن تحضر شيئاً رائعاً لهم be doing something right for them. You must be bringing something amazing for them. Once
[28:05.400 -> 28:11.280] you do that, then you can measure or not measure, but the reality is that the reason why it's
[28:11.280 -> 28:16.560] so popular is because it's doing some good. Now, if it's not that good, this is where
[28:16.560 -> 28:21.440] marketing and advertising comes in. Honestly, most of the time when something is heavily
[28:21.440 -> 28:30.920] advertised to me, I wonder if it's any good at all. It's like, if it was any good, I wouldn't need to be bombarded with ads all the time.
[28:30.920 -> 28:34.680] If it was any good, my friends would tell me that they tried it and it's amazing.
[28:34.680 -> 28:35.680] So I'm in that place.
[28:35.680 -> 28:39.040] I believe that what I'm doing is not me doing it.
[28:39.040 -> 28:42.040] I believe that life wants a billion people to be happy.
[28:42.040 -> 28:50.180] I believe that happiness today is probably the most important component of a time that's gone mad. So if I show up every
[28:50.180 -> 28:55.560] morning and I do the best that I can probably the tailwinds are pushing me
[28:55.560 -> 29:01.600] forward. Have you read the brilliant book The Second Mountain by David Brooks?
[29:01.600 -> 29:06.900] I have not. Because there's a real reminder of that, of what you
[29:06.900 -> 29:10.760] describe in Mo where he talks about for so many of us the first mountain of life
[29:10.760 -> 29:18.460] is climbing up the career ladder and then we get to that place that unfortunately for Ali's death made you
[29:18.460 -> 29:21.320] realize there's the second mountain to climb and that's where it's about
[29:21.320 -> 29:32.560] connection and making a difference. Do you think you could have been successful on that first mountain of life adopting the lessons that you're now
[29:32.560 -> 29:38.400] espousing? I have been, I mean most people don't, look I'm Egyptian, born and raised in Egypt,
[29:39.120 -> 29:46.800] taught in you know in a public school, public university in Egypt. So honestly, I don't attribute any of what I did in life
[29:46.800 -> 29:51.320] to my highly sophisticated education or my intelligence.
[29:51.320 -> 29:52.600] I'm not, right?
[29:52.600 -> 29:55.780] I think what happened in my life, and I say that openly,
[29:55.780 -> 29:59.360] is that I somehow, 1992 specifically,
[29:59.360 -> 30:02.980] was positioned firmly to be aligned
[30:02.980 -> 30:04.760] with the objectives of life.
[30:04.760 -> 30:07.140] And once I did, life started to
[30:07.140 -> 30:14.600] push me forward. It was 1992, I was a salesman at IBM in Egypt and we had one
[30:14.600 -> 30:20.420] of the most devastating earthquake in my lifetime in Egypt. And it destroyed like
[30:20.420 -> 30:25.280] 60% of Egyptian schools or at least made them structurally not
[30:25.280 -> 30:32.160] viable to study in. And so aid came from all over the world to
[30:32.160 -> 30:36.400] rebuild Egyptian schools. The government established an organization
[30:36.400 -> 30:41.840] called EBO, Egyptians Buildings Organization. And EBO went out and
[30:41.840 -> 30:47.240] submitted a tender for companies to provide GIS systems, geographical information
[30:47.240 -> 30:52.680] systems and CAD systems and basic automation on all levels.
[30:52.680 -> 30:56.600] I went, I was a very good salesman, I managed to win a deal.
[30:56.600 -> 30:59.360] 80% of it was not going to work.
[30:59.360 -> 31:04.080] But I won the bid anyway, it's government, which government applies anything anyway.
[31:04.080 -> 31:10.880] And I will tell you, around four months in, before we even delivered most of those machines, I've not been sleeping
[31:10.880 -> 31:18.640] for around three months, because I basically told myself, I won a $4 million bid, but people are not
[31:18.640 -> 31:26.000] going to go to school. Like, what am I doing? And so I knocked on the door of the Minister of كما لو أنني أفعل شيئاً. وذلك فأنا أدفع على باب المدير الأدب
[31:26.000 -> 31:27.000] وقفت خارجاً.
[31:27.000 -> 31:28.000] هل يمكنني أن ألتقي بالمدير؟
[31:28.000 -> 31:30.000] وقالوا، من أنت؟
[31:30.000 -> 31:32.000] وقلت، أنا مدير حساب البيانات الابيكية.
[31:32.000 -> 31:34.000] وذهبت إلى 9 أسام.
[31:34.000 -> 31:37.000] وخلقنا في الأسام الساعة 6.30.
[31:37.000 -> 31:39.000] دخلت وقلت،
[31:39.000 -> 31:42.000] أنظر، هذا هذا وذلك سيعمل.
[31:42.000 -> 31:44.000] هذا هذا وذلك لن يعمل.
[31:44.000 -> 31:46.400] أقترح أن تغلق أمرنا على هذه الأشياء
[31:46.400 -> 31:50.800] وفعلا ذهبت إلى المكتب في اليوم التالي بإيمان أنني سأتم إطلاق النار
[31:50.800 -> 31:56.000] حوالي 2.4 من 4 مليون سيغلق
[31:56.000 -> 31:59.000] وقام المسؤول بإتصال فريقه وقال
[31:59.000 -> 32:03.000] يقول أن أشخاص من البرامج الأمريكية أن هذه الأشياء لن تعمل ماذا سنفعل
[32:03.000 -> 32:05.000] لذلك أغزالوا الأمر.
[32:05.000 -> 32:07.000] أتصل بي في اليوم التالي وقال
[32:07.000 -> 32:08.000] ما الذي سيعمل؟
[32:08.000 -> 32:10.000] وقلت أن أوراكل سيفعل هذا بشكل جيد
[32:10.000 -> 32:12.000] أتعلم أن هؤلاء الرجال سيفعلون هذا بشكل جيد
[32:12.000 -> 32:14.000] أتعلم أنه إذا أردت أن أساعدك
[32:14.000 -> 32:16.000] في تحديدهم
[32:16.000 -> 32:17.000] أعرف أنني في عملك
[32:17.000 -> 32:18.000] ولكن دعنا نفعل هذا بسرعة
[32:18.000 -> 32:20.000] ودعنا نجعلها تعمل.
[32:20.000 -> 32:21.000] نعم. ومن ثم
[32:21.000 -> 32:23.000] رئيسي كان مديراً جداً
[32:23.000 -> 32:24.000] قال أنك فعلت الأمر الصحيح
[32:24.000 -> 32:30.000] أتعلم أنه قد كان مفترضاً جداً بعدها إذا لم ننجح And then my boss was very supportive, said you did the right thing, you know, it might have been a very complex deal afterwards if we didn't deliver, so it's okay, but you should have told me.
[32:30.000 -> 32:33.000] I was like, I was fearing if I told you, you would say no.
[32:33.000 -> 32:46.480] Anyway, three weeks later, the Minister of Education calls me and gives me a direct order for $16 million, direct, okay, which in government is unbelievable. 16 مليون دولارات مباشرة حسناً والتي في الحكومة غير مؤمنة حسناً بسيطة
[32:46.480 -> 32:50.640] أخذني وقال لنا أننا نحتاج إلى تلك السلوكات أي من تلك تستطيع أن تقدمها
[32:51.280 -> 32:55.680] وقلت لك سيدة أعظمي أحتاج لوقت قليل لتحديثها قال حسناً تعود غداً
[32:56.240 -> 33:01.040] درسهم قلت له هذا هذا هذا وذلك يعمل هذا هذا وذلك تأخذ من هؤلاء الرجال
[33:01.040 -> 33:08.080] وقال حسناً إذا أخبرتني بذلك سأصدقك وفجأة في عقلي أدركت
[33:08.080 -> 33:14.560] أن هناك طريق آخر للحياة حسناً هناك طريق لأنك سعيد ومقاتل في حياتك
[33:14.560 -> 33:20.400] وهناك طريق لأنك صادق وعمل مع الحياة وخخت لباقي حياتي لتنزل
[33:20.400 -> 33:26.480] ذلك الطريق لجميع مهنتي التي كانت لديها في المشروع لم أقوم بسلطة شيء أبداً.
[33:26.480 -> 33:31.280] حسناً؟ لقد صنعت قطعي كل مقام بمقابلتها بمستمع إلى المستخدمين وقول
[33:31.280 -> 33:36.000] حسناً، ماذا تحتاج؟ ماذا تحتاج؟ ماذا تحتاج؟
[33:36.000 -> 33:40.000] ثم أخبرهم بأنني أعطيتك هذا وذلك وكذا وكذا، وكذلك
[33:40.000 -> 33:42.000] هل ستدفع هذا لها؟ وهم سيقولون نعم.
[33:42.000 -> 33:47.220] كل مرة. لأنني لا أحاول أن أسلح. أحاول فعلاً أن أساعد. you pay this for it and they would say yes. Every single time. Because I'm not trying to sell, I'm actually trying to help.
[33:47.220 -> 33:51.940] And you are now trying to help by spreading a message about happiness.
[33:51.940 -> 33:55.780] Before we talk about happiness and how we can all find it and why we don't have enough
[33:55.780 -> 33:59.580] of it and why it is this kind of ethereal thing that we're all trying to grasp hold
[33:59.580 -> 34:03.740] of, I want to ask you why happiness?
[34:03.740 -> 34:07.120] Because what was it that Ali told his sister again before
[34:07.120 -> 34:09.440] he passed away? He said, I felt...
[34:09.440 -> 34:10.960] Everywhere and part of everyone.
[34:10.960 -> 34:14.680] I was everywhere and I was part of everyone. There's lots of different things that could
[34:14.680 -> 34:20.080] have been everywhere and part of everyone. But happiness is the thing that is now being
[34:20.080 -> 34:30.320] spread everywhere and part of everyone. When you think back to Ali as a young boy and even as a teenager, why happiness? Why was that?
[34:30.320 -> 34:36.440] We had a very wrong message delivered to us by our parents and our
[34:36.440 -> 34:40.960] teachers. Our parents and our teachers told us work really hard for a very long
[34:40.960 -> 34:45.600] time, make a lot of money, buy a lot of things and then you'll find happiness.
[34:45.600 -> 34:51.120] And half of the promise worked, right? You work really hard for a long time, you buy a lot of
[34:51.120 -> 34:56.640] things and make a lot of money. But that doesn't necessarily mean you become happy. You know of so
[34:56.640 -> 35:01.440] many people that are swimming in money, that are famous and rich and that are committing suicide.
[35:02.240 -> 35:07.920] The truth is, we were told that we're supposed to be successful
[35:07.920 -> 35:12.960] as a prerequisite to happiness. The reality is that if you're happy doing what you're doing,
[35:12.960 -> 35:18.160] you're likely going to be very successful at it. So it's interestingly the other way around.
[35:18.160 -> 35:23.600] Best football players in the world, my fellow countryman Mo Salah loves to play football. If
[35:23.600 -> 35:26.200] you had forced him to become a mathematician,
[35:26.200 -> 35:30.680] he would have been mediocre at it at best. If you'd forced me to play football, good
[35:30.680 -> 35:37.560] luck with that. So the idea is, can we actually reverse that? Now, people will say, oh, come
[35:37.560 -> 35:43.520] on, you know, toughen up. What happiness? Like work, hard work is what gets us somewhere.
[35:43.520 -> 35:46.300] No, it depends on how you define happiness.
[35:46.300 -> 35:48.620] If happiness is to go surfing, you know,
[35:48.620 -> 35:50.480] and on the coast of Australia,
[35:50.480 -> 35:52.000] then you have the wrong definition.
[35:52.000 -> 35:55.840] Happiness, in my view, is a calm and peaceful contentment
[35:55.840 -> 35:58.000] when you're okay with life as it is.
[35:58.000 -> 36:00.600] Best quality of an entrepreneur ever
[36:00.600 -> 36:03.800] is to be okay with the challenges that you're going to meet.
[36:03.800 -> 36:04.980] You know, you start a business,
[36:04.980 -> 36:07.400] and the first thing that happens is the business goes wrong and
[36:07.400 -> 36:11.600] you have to pivot. And unless you're okay with the reality that yes
[36:11.600 -> 36:15.200] force majeure will happen, yes things will go unlike what you expect them
[36:15.200 -> 36:20.480] otherwise why would you be the one that created the amazing breakthrough, when
[36:20.480 -> 36:25.200] you're okay that way, when you're peaceful and calm and contented, you succeed more.
[36:25.200 -> 36:27.600] Now, what does that mean?
[36:27.600 -> 36:32.800] It interestingly means that happiness is a lot like health.
[36:32.800 -> 36:36.000] If you get a tiny bit of a sore throat, you stop.
[36:36.000 -> 36:40.600] You go like, okay, no, no, no, no, hold on, I need vitamin C, I need to drink warm liquids,
[36:40.600 -> 36:42.200] I need some, you know, and so on.
[36:42.200 -> 36:47.060] Because you know instinctively that without your health,
[36:47.060 -> 36:52.060] you're not in the optimum form of you to succeed in life,
[36:52.160 -> 36:54.520] to survive and succeed in life.
[36:54.520 -> 36:58.520] Tons of studies will tell you that without your happiness,
[36:58.520 -> 37:01.460] you're likely not going to go very far, why?
[37:01.460 -> 37:04.840] Because you're gonna be wasting lots of your brain cycles,
[37:04.840 -> 37:05.640] you know, thinking about what's stressing you or making you unhappy, you're going to be wasting lots of your brain cycles, you know,
[37:05.640 -> 37:09.520] thinking about what's stressing you or making you unhappy. You're going to be grumpy and
[37:09.520 -> 37:13.440] all of your colleagues and customers will hate you and not want to work with you. You're
[37:13.440 -> 37:17.240] going to not have a wonderful mate in your life because you're upsetting everyone and
[37:17.240 -> 37:21.400] no one wants to live with you. And so you're going to be even grumpier. You're going to
[37:21.400 -> 37:25.280] and so on. You're going to report more sick leaves. You'll always be disgruntled with the job that you have. So you don't want to give anything to it and so on and so forth. ستكون أكثر مغلقة وكذلك ستقوم بتقديم أكثر من الأرشادات المريضة ستكون دائماً مغلقة
[37:25.280 -> 37:29.040] مع العمل الذي تحصل عليه لذلك لا تريد أن تعطيه أي شيء وكذلك وكذلك
[37:29.040 -> 37:35.200] الناس الذين يكونون سعيدين يكونون بين 12 و 37% أكثر مستقلين في أي شيء يفعلونه
[37:35.200 -> 37:41.680] لذلك عندما تفكر حقاً بهذه الطريقة سعادة حياتك حيث أنك كنت بني كطفل
[37:41.680 -> 37:45.760] هو أيضاً نظرك الأفضل لتنجح وإدارة
[37:46.320 -> 37:51.840] وإذا رأيته بذلك الطريق فإن سرورك لا يصبح حظًا
[37:52.080 -> 37:52.880] إنه عملك
[37:53.440 -> 37:56.640] إنه عملك أن تجد تلك الهدوء المتأسس والمتأسس
[37:56.840 -> 37:58.160] كما تنقل حياتك
[37:58.440 -> 38:00.960] حسنًا لذلك عندما يأتي المحاولات لك
[38:01.120 -> 38:03.640] فقط تنظر إليها بسرعة
[38:04.040 -> 38:04.840] بطريقة سريعة
[38:07.360 -> 38:13.040] وفعل الأمر الصحيح come your way, you simply look at them calmly, wisely and do the right thing. If you're unhappy and constantly complaining and constantly you know disgruntled with life, you're wasting
[38:13.040 -> 38:18.960] too much effort. So take us into that pause then, that moment of choice. Yeah. And give
[38:18.960 -> 38:25.760] us and for our listeners especially, what are some of the hacks into that moment that allow us
[38:25.760 -> 38:27.620] to then access?
[38:27.620 -> 38:34.760] Biggest hack I was ever told was when I hosted one of my dear dear friends, Jill Balty-Taylor,
[38:34.760 -> 38:40.840] if you know her, the neuroscientist, you absolutely have to get her over here, she's brilliant
[38:40.840 -> 38:45.600] and she basically studied our behaviour when we are negative and she
[38:45.600 -> 38:52.000] says from the second you are triggered on the negative side so say an event
[38:52.000 -> 38:56.680] makes you angry to the second that you're filled with stress hormones to
[38:56.680 -> 39:00.960] the second that you took an action and those are you didn't but those hormones
[39:00.960 -> 39:08.000] were flushed out of your body is 90 seconds. That's it. You cannot be angry for more than 90 seconds.
[39:08.000 -> 39:08.800] Wow, okay.
[39:09.360 -> 39:13.440] But then what happens is you run the thought in your head again
[39:14.480 -> 39:16.080] and you renew your 90 seconds.
[39:16.960 -> 39:21.040] And then you run it again unconsciously and you renew your 90 seconds.
[39:21.040 -> 39:27.600] While in reality, what you get after those 90 seconds is a buffer where you
[39:27.600 -> 39:35.520] can stop and say I lost my phone right you get a mix a cocktail of weird emotions right one is
[39:35.520 -> 39:42.800] how stupid am I you know I hate those guys that took it you know what will I do with the photos
[39:42.800 -> 39:46.300] I wish I had you can you can have a cocktail of those emotions.
[39:46.300 -> 39:50.360] And if you actually observe, you get those emotions
[39:50.360 -> 39:53.480] and then there is that tiny buffer, right?
[39:53.480 -> 39:57.240] And that tiny buffer allows you to go and say,
[39:57.240 -> 39:59.060] now what am I going to do?
[39:59.060 -> 40:03.120] I can be angry at the world or I can go buy another phone
[40:03.120 -> 40:07.120] or I can go, you know, cancel my SIM or I can go you know cancel my sim or I can
[40:07.120 -> 40:13.520] you know go to my computer and block the phone or right and and once you get into that buffer
[40:15.200 -> 40:21.280] suddenly you move in the right direction. Now I basically put that buffer in a flow chart
[40:21.920 -> 40:26.240] and it's a very very simple way for me because I always say if
[40:26.240 -> 40:31.700] I were to teach the world happiness, I'm not qualified. I try my best but I'm not like
[40:31.700 -> 40:37.480] the big teachers. I need to be the Olympic champion of the sport. I need to be someone
[40:37.480 -> 40:44.320] that lives what I preach. And so I basically measure how quickly I bounce back to happiness
[40:44.320 -> 40:45.280] from unhappiness. We all feel unhappy every now and then because events miss our expectations. و لذلك أقوم بمعالجة كما قبل أن أتحرك للسعادة من السعادة
[40:45.280 -> 40:49.280] نحن جميعاً نشعر بالسعادة كل مرة وقت لأن الأحداث تفوت توقعاتنا
[40:49.280 -> 40:50.680] إنها ميكانيزة التنجح
[40:50.680 -> 40:54.560] لكن كما قبل أن تأخذ الأحداث التي تفوت توقعاتك
[40:54.560 -> 40:57.080] و بعدها تتحرك للأمر بأنه يمكنني التعامل بهذا
[40:57.080 -> 40:59.680] بالنسبة لي على عاملية ساعة
[40:59.680 -> 41:03.080] خارج عدة مرات في العام حيث قد يكون ساعة أو يوم
[41:03.080 -> 41:06.320] ولكن بشكل عادي الأشياء الصغيرة التي تؤذوننا كل الوقت تخسر ساعة ساعة other than a few times a year where it might be an hour or a day but regularly the little things that upset us all the time
[41:06.320 -> 41:07.920] they last seven seconds.
[41:07.920 -> 41:08.480] Okay?
[41:08.480 -> 41:11.280] And seven seconds because I go through a flowchart
[41:11.280 -> 41:13.120] and the flowchart is very straightforward.
[41:13.120 -> 41:13.840] Is it true?
[41:13.840 -> 41:15.280] Can I do something about it?
[41:15.280 -> 41:18.080] Can I accept it and do something despite its presence?
[41:18.080 -> 41:21.680] And it's really not that intelligent when you think back about it.
[41:21.680 -> 41:22.320] So go for it.
[41:22.320 -> 41:22.880] Is it true?
[41:22.880 -> 41:23.680] Is it true?
[41:23.680 -> 41:28.360] 90% of the things that make us unhappy are not even true.
[41:28.360 -> 41:31.360] Like your boyfriend or girlfriend says something hurtful
[41:31.360 -> 41:33.400] on Friday, your brain is telling you
[41:33.400 -> 41:35.280] he or she doesn't love you anymore.
[41:35.280 -> 41:36.260] That's not true.
[41:36.260 -> 41:40.800] That's your brain's magical work on making a scenario
[41:40.800 -> 41:42.520] that can win the Oscar, right?
[41:42.520 -> 41:46.480] The truth is he or she said something hurtful. You want to get
[41:46.480 -> 41:50.560] to the point of they don't love me anymore, there is a lot more analysis that needs to be done
[41:50.560 -> 41:56.560] around that. And most of the time if you actually just ask the question, is it true? Most of the
[41:56.560 -> 42:03.360] time you find that it isn't. So you go to the second. If it is not true, drop it. If it is true
[42:03.360 -> 42:05.040] you go to the second and the second is very straightforward. Can I do something about it? إذا كان هذا غير صحيح فإرسله إذا كان هذا صحيح فانت تذهب إلى الثاني وفي الثاني هو
[42:05.040 -> 42:10.560] بسيط جدا أنت تعلم هل يمكنني فعل شيئا عنه هل يمكنني فعل شيئا عنه هو إجابة
[42:10.560 -> 42:16.800] لتحسين الوظيفة كل الوقت إنه الطريقة الصحيحة لتعامل بمشكلة فهل يمكنني فعل شيئا عنه
[42:16.800 -> 42:23.440] فقط فعله إذا كان هناك شيئ يمكنك فعله عنه فعله لا تجلس في الجانب وتبكي كباب
[42:23.440 -> 42:26.480] لن يصلح أي شيء أنت لست ملتوى ستة سنة بعد الآن حسناً إذا كان هناك شيئ يمكنك فعلها فعلها لا تجلس في الجانب و تبكي كبسي لن يصلح أي شيء لن تكون سنة وشتة بعد الآن
[42:26.480 -> 42:29.520] حسناً إذا كان هناك شيء يمكنك فعله عنه فعله
[42:29.520 -> 42:31.760] مستوى السعادة للجداية على سبيل المثال
[42:31.760 -> 42:34.080] إذا لم يكن هناك شيء يمكنك فعله عنه
[42:34.080 -> 42:36.240] فإنك لا تستطيع فعل أي شيء عنه
[42:36.240 -> 42:37.120] هو مغلق
[42:37.120 -> 42:39.440] لا يوجد شيء يمكنك فعله لإعادته
[42:39.440 -> 42:41.200] وهذا ما أقوله
[42:41.200 -> 42:44.080] هذا ما أسميه ببساطة تقبل مقبل
[42:44.080 -> 42:48.000] تقبل مقبلة تقبل مقبلة هو أن أقول إنه ليس الحياة الأفضل في الموضوع
[42:48.000 -> 42:50.000] أفضل لو أخذنا في موضوع آخر
[42:50.000 -> 42:53.000] ولكني أحتاج إلى التقبل أن هذا حدث
[42:53.000 -> 42:55.000] وإذا حدث
[42:55.000 -> 42:56.000] هل يمكنني تقبله
[42:56.000 -> 42:58.000] تقبله كحقيقة
[42:58.000 -> 43:00.000] أساسي جديد في حياتي
[43:00.000 -> 43:03.000] وفعل شيء برغبة من وجوده لتحسن حياتي
[43:03.000 -> 43:05.000] أو حيات أخرى أفضل هل أريد أن أجلس في مقر وأضبة وجوده لأجعل حياتي أفضل أو حيات الآخرين أفضل؟
[43:05.000 -> 43:10.000] هل أريد أن أجلس في مقر وأن أضرب رأسي ضد البرج لأن علي رحل؟
[43:10.000 -> 43:14.000] نعم أفعل ذلك، لكن ما هي الفرق التي ستجعلها أفضل في حياتي؟
[43:14.000 -> 43:21.000] ما يجعلها أفضل في حياتي هو أن أجلس في مقر وأن أكتب ما أعلمه عن السعادة وأن أشاركه مع العالم
[43:21.000 -> 43:29.440] لذلك سيذكره ويكون العالم أفضل قليلاً so he's remembered and the world is a little happier. So that you know when I wrote that flowchart, it's part of my next book, that little voice in your head,
[43:29.440 -> 43:36.320] I basically realized that our brains are constantly hurting us, okay? They're
[43:36.320 -> 43:40.600] constantly incessantly thinking about the wrong things and that what you want
[43:40.600 -> 43:46.240] is to think the right thoughts and the right thoughts are useful thoughts or joyful thoughts.
[43:46.240 -> 43:51.720] Okay, the way to find your useful thoughts is to go through the flowchart.
[43:51.720 -> 43:58.720] Analyze it, if it's true, can I do something about it or can I accept it and make the world better despite its present.
[43:58.720 -> 44:08.760] Really interesting. One of the challenges though when we talk about high performance is that we're constantly saying to people set big goals, set big ambitions,
[44:08.760 -> 44:12.880] love great things, let's go, let's yeah and then when the world doesn't give us
[44:12.880 -> 44:19.280] that then we go oh I don't want to say to people don't expect great things. Not
[44:19.280 -> 44:23.760] at all, that's not what I'm saying at all. What I'm saying is there is a
[44:23.760 -> 44:26.480] difference between expectations and ambitions.
[44:26.480 -> 44:27.320] Yeah.
[44:27.320 -> 44:29.920] Okay, so when Solve for Happy came out,
[44:32.480 -> 44:35.080] again, blurry me, I had a mission
[44:35.080 -> 44:36.920] that was called 10 million happy.
[44:36.920 -> 44:38.520] I told you the mathematics were,
[44:38.520 -> 44:41.080] if I reach 10 million, six degrees of separation
[44:41.080 -> 44:43.960] 70 years later, it will be everywhere and everyone,
[44:43.960 -> 44:44.920] part of everyone, right?
[44:44.920 -> 44:48.280] That was my math. Could be right, could be wrong, but that was what I thought of.
[44:48.280 -> 44:53.960] Then I came here to Channel 4 in the UK, part of the book tour. I did an interview on Channel
[44:53.960 -> 45:01.440] 4, which two days in was viewed 7 million times. Four days in was viewed 37 million
[45:01.440 -> 45:07.200] times, which was the highest ever clip in the history of Channel 4 news.
[45:07.200 -> 45:13.520] By day 12 or 11 or something like that, it was viewed 87 million times to the point that
[45:13.520 -> 45:17.700] the CEO of Channel 4 at the time called me in and said, we've been broadcasting violence
[45:17.700 -> 45:23.320] all our life. Why are people so interested in happiness? Right? Great question. And so
[45:23.320 -> 45:27.240] the target was blown out of the water. So 10 million
[45:27.240 -> 45:32.040] happy and we don't just measure views by the way, we measure people who take action, was
[45:32.040 -> 45:37.880] imminently going to happen. And so we are a tiny team, five people, and they started
[45:37.880 -> 45:42.840] to say, you're a sandbagger, you never really set the right targets, we should make a bigger
[45:42.840 -> 45:45.120] target and we went to 1 billion happy.
[45:45.120 -> 45:49.520] Now, 1 billion, if you ask me, is very unrealistic.
[45:49.520 -> 45:53.160] You know, I mean, how many humans in history
[45:53.160 -> 45:55.400] have ever reached a billion people, right?
[45:55.400 -> 45:59.040] And, you know, I don't even want to reach a billion people,
[45:59.040 -> 46:02.000] I would be wrong because then the mission would be me.
[46:02.000 -> 46:04.600] And, you know, I'm gonna die or gonna make a mistake
[46:04.600 -> 46:10.720] or gonna be seen kissing someone in public or whatever and somehow I could destroy the mission.
[46:10.720 -> 46:16.380] So the idea is can I actually have a proper mission that is a million people championing
[46:16.380 -> 46:20.880] a billion happy and we hopefully get completely forgotten, the small team that started it.
[46:20.880 -> 46:23.080] And that actually is our mission.
[46:23.080 -> 46:24.240] Back to your question.
[46:24.240 -> 46:27.040] I still wake up every morning with the ambition of a billion happy. الذي بدأ به وهذا في الواقع مهمتنا عد إلى سؤالك ، فأنا لا أستيقظ كل صباح بمهنة
[46:27.040 -> 46:34.720] مليون مرحل ، فأنا أفعل ذلك ، صحيح ، ولكني لا أقتل نفسي في الأيام التي وصلت إلى 5 أشخاص أو
[46:34.720 -> 46:40.160] ألف أشخاص أو كما تعلمون ، على سبيل المثال ، إذا كنت تبني راية جميلة ووصلت إلى
[46:40.800 -> 46:46.000] 10 ألف أشخاص في المخطط أكبر من مليليون فأنت من المفترض أن تكون مفاجئة
[46:46.000 -> 46:47.000] ليس بالطبع
[46:47.000 -> 46:49.000] إذا جعلتكم سعداء اليوم، فهو ممتاز
[46:49.000 -> 46:52.000] إذا كانت 4 من مستمعنا معنا بهذه اللحظة وصبحوا سعداء
[46:52.000 -> 46:53.000] حتى أفضل
[46:53.000 -> 46:57.000] ما هو داخل توقعاتي
[46:57.000 -> 46:59.000] هو أنه إذا فعلت ما أفعله بأفضل ممكن
[46:59.000 -> 47:01.000] سأصل إلى أقصى ما أستطيع
[47:01.000 -> 47:06.640] وذلك أستيقظ كل صباح وأفعل ما أفعل ما أستطيع وإذا فعلت أفضل ما أستطيع
[47:06.640 -> 47:11.840] فهو ممتاز إذا لم أفعل ذلك فأنا أتفكر وأقول ما أفعله خطأ وأفعله أفضل في المرة القادمة
[47:11.840 -> 47:17.440] ولكن من الاتجاه أحلم من يوم واحد بعد أن تركت هذا العالم
[47:17.440 -> 47:26.520] حيث وجدت مليار من الناس سعادة كالتالي حسنا هذا رائع ولكن هذا as a result. That's wonderful but that's not what drives my daily target setting. My daily
[47:26.520 -> 47:33.920] target setting is driven by realistic expectations of I'm trying the best I can. That's the maximum
[47:33.920 -> 47:39.400] I can do.
[47:39.400 -> 47:44.720] As a person with a very deep voice, I'm hired all the time for advertising campaigns. But
[47:44.720 -> 47:46.840] a deep voice doesn't sell B2B,
[47:46.840 -> 47:48.560] and advertising on the wrong platform
[47:48.560 -> 47:50.280] doesn't sell B2B either.
[47:50.280 -> 47:52.160] That's why if you're a B2B marketer,
[47:52.160 -> 47:54.080] you should use LinkedIn ads.
[47:54.080 -> 47:55.980] LinkedIn has the targeting capabilities
[47:55.980 -> 47:59.240] to help you reach the world's largest professional audience.
[47:59.240 -> 48:01.800] That's right, over 70 million decision makers
[48:01.800 -> 48:03.380] all in one place.
[48:03.380 -> 48:08.880] All the big wigs, then medium wigs, also small wigs who are on the path to becoming big wigs.
[48:08.880 -> 48:11.000] Okay, that's enough about wigs.
[48:11.000 -> 48:15.440] LinkedIn ads allows you to focus on getting your B2B message to the right people.
[48:15.440 -> 48:20.600] So does that mean you should use ads on LinkedIn instead of hiring me, the man with the deepest
[48:20.600 -> 48:21.960] voice in the world?
[48:21.960 -> 48:24.180] Yes, yes it does.
[48:24.180 -> 48:26.220] Get started today and see why LinkedIn
[48:26.220 -> 48:28.640] is the place to be, to be.
[48:28.640 -> 48:31.940] We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign.
[48:31.940 -> 48:35.080] Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit.
[48:35.080 -> 48:37.380] That's linkedin.com slash results.
[48:37.380 -> 48:39.440] Terms and conditions apply.
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[49:02.580 -> 49:11.920] Look for the locked in low prices tags and enjoy extra savings throughout the store. Fred Meyer, fresh for everyone.
[49:11.920 -> 49:15.840] On our podcast, we love to highlight businesses that are doing things a better way so you
[49:15.840 -> 49:21.120] can live a better life. And that's why when I found Mint Mobile, I had to share. So Mint
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[50:51.240 -> 50:53.800] What was the single most important thing
[50:53.800 -> 50:56.260] relating to happiness that Ali taught you?
[50:56.260 -> 50:57.540] Ali taught me so many things.
[50:57.540 -> 50:59.260] I think the biggest one that completely
[50:59.260 -> 51:01.400] flipped me upside down was,
[51:01.400 -> 51:06.800] I remember I'm a very, very high performing executive most of my years.
[51:07.680 -> 51:13.600] And then I went to Google, became head of emerging markets, vice president of emerging markets. So
[51:13.600 -> 51:19.360] I started half of Google's operations globally. And then I went to Google X, which is this moonshot
[51:19.360 -> 51:27.320] factory that's building innovations. I was chief business officer with the objective of really solving big problems
[51:27.320 -> 51:29.180] that affect a billion people or more.
[51:29.180 -> 51:32.080] So I'm in that TED Talk mentality.
[51:32.080 -> 51:33.160] Most of my life, I'm like,
[51:33.160 -> 51:35.520] okay, we're gonna do something amazing
[51:35.520 -> 51:37.000] and that's gonna change the world
[51:37.000 -> 51:39.580] and it's gonna be worthy of 18 minutes on stage
[51:39.580 -> 51:42.160] and then we'll set the next thing.
[51:42.160 -> 51:43.880] And he comes and sits next to me and says,
[51:43.880 -> 51:46.000] Papa, I have to tell you something.
[51:46.000 -> 51:48.000] He was 16, I think at the time.
[51:48.000 -> 51:50.000] Papa, I have to tell you something,
[51:50.000 -> 51:51.400] but it's going to upset you.
[51:51.400 -> 51:54.200] It's like, I learned, I swear to you,
[51:54.200 -> 51:55.200] this boy was so wise.
[51:55.200 -> 51:57.200] When he said, I want to tell you something, I listened.
[51:57.200 -> 52:00.000] Okay, so I said, no, no, Habibi, tell me,
[52:00.000 -> 52:01.600] what do you have in mind?
[52:01.600 -> 52:03.400] He said, but you're going to be upset.
[52:03.400 -> 52:04.600] No, just please tell me.
[52:04.600 -> 52:07.800] He said, Papa, you're never gonna fix the world.
[52:08.800 -> 52:10.000] I was like, why, Ali?
[52:10.000 -> 52:11.800] Why don't you have that spark?
[52:11.800 -> 52:15.000] You know, why are you not dreaming of the TED Talk?
[52:15.000 -> 52:16.400] Sort of in my head.
[52:17.200 -> 52:21.000] And he said, Papa, the world will always have people that are suffering.
[52:21.800 -> 52:24.600] The truth is, you're never gonna fix it.
[52:24.600 -> 52:26.000] You're never gonna fix it. You may impact it a little bit. الناس الذين يتعانون حقاً أنت لن تصنعها أبداً لن تصنعها أبداً
[52:26.000 -> 52:33.000] قد تؤثر على ذلك قليلاً إذا تعلمت أن تصنع أولاً عالمك الصغير
[52:33.000 -> 52:39.000] تباً يا علي كان هذا مقابل ما فعلته في حياتي
[52:39.000 -> 52:47.000] بسيطة قال انظر إذا صنعت عالمك الصغير سوف يثق بك حاكة لتصنح عالمك الصغير، فسوف يثق بك الحياة كافية لتصبح عالمك الصغير أكثر
[52:47.000 -> 52:50.000] إذا قمت بإصلاح ذلك، فسوف يكون أكثر و أكثر
[52:50.000 -> 52:55.000] إذا أردت حقا تغيير العالم، فإصلاح نفسك
[52:55.000 -> 52:58.000] وإذا قمت بإصلاح نفسك، فسوف نثق بك
[52:58.000 -> 53:01.000] بمعنى دبلوماتية، لا نفعلها بعد
[53:01.000 -> 53:07.000] ثم ستغيرنا، أنا و أختي و أمي yet, okay? And then you'll change us, me, my sister and my mother. And then if you do
[53:07.000 -> 53:11.060] that well, then maybe your department at work, and then maybe your company, and then maybe
[53:11.060 -> 53:17.140] your country, right? As long as you keep doing it right, and he directed me to a documentary
[53:17.140 -> 53:26.280] on Netflix, Gyro something, the sushi maker. Basically, when you're a sushi chef, first they start you off fanning
[53:26.280 -> 53:32.080] the rice. For years and years you fan the rice. Until you really fan the rice really
[53:32.080 -> 53:36.600] well then they'll have you wash the dishes or something else and then they'll have you
[53:36.600 -> 53:42.360] wrap the first one. Years and years later when you consistently did the right thing
[53:42.360 -> 53:47.720] you become the master chef. And that's the game, the game of life is
[53:47.720 -> 53:52.640] we want those shortcuts but those shortcuts for so many of us that got
[53:52.640 -> 53:53.200] them
[53:53.200 -> 53:57.160] end up with a disaster because you positioned yourself in a place
[53:57.160 -> 54:01.640] that was bigger than where you are. Consistent long-term high performance
[54:01.640 -> 54:04.960] cannot stand missing blocks on the way
[54:04.960 -> 54:05.600] How do we not miss the blocks and how do we start by doing the small things long-term high-performance cannot stand missing blocks on the way.
[54:05.600 -> 54:10.720] How do we not miss the blocks? How do we start by doing the small things that are not particularly
[54:10.720 -> 54:12.560] sexy or exciting?
[54:12.560 -> 54:19.760] Look under your feet not at the target. That's the way not to miss a block. So the idea is
[54:19.760 -> 54:27.000] I know on my next startup that if I did the right things the startup will shine. But if أعلم أنه في مؤتمري التالي، إذا فعلت الأشياء الصحيحة، سينظر المؤتمر
[54:28.000 -> 54:36.000] ولكن إذا بدأت مؤتمري التالي يركز على تنظيم المؤتمر، فلن أحصل على كل المواقع الموجودة
[54:45.440 -> 54:50.560] where we're heading and these are the blocks I need to step on, at least that's how I see it now, I will look at those blocks and do them to the best of my abilities until they're
[54:50.560 -> 54:56.680] as perfect as they can be and I will stop every day and reflect if those next three
[54:56.680 -> 55:01.080] blocks are still my next three blocks. By the way, most of us don't realize this. Most
[55:01.080 -> 55:05.880] of us don't realize that life is a quest, it's not a journey.
[55:05.880 -> 55:10.880] The difference between a journey and a quest is a journey is a trip that
[55:10.880 -> 55:15.400] you've done before. You know the path, I'm gonna go here and then I'm
[55:15.400 -> 55:19.560] gonna turn left and then I'm gonna right. Most of our life is a quest, we've not
[55:19.560 -> 55:24.000] done that before. You take a couple of steps and it's almost a quest in deep
[55:24.000 -> 55:29.000] fog. You take a couple of steps forward and then you stop and you reflect and قبل أن تأخذ بعض الأسطح ويكونها تقريباً مهنة في الضوء الداخلي تأخذ بعض الأسطح للأمام ثم توقف وتفكر وتقول هل هذا حقاً
[55:29.000 -> 55:33.000] نحو الاتجاه الصحيح أو ربما يجب أن أذهب إلى اليسار قليلاً وثم تأخذ أحد الأسطح
[55:33.000 -> 55:37.000] إلى اليسار وتوقف وتحقق ويقول هل يجب أن أستمر هذا هو حياتي
[55:37.000 -> 55:43.000] عندما يأتي إلى علاقاتنا أولاً تحب شخصاً وثم تقول
[55:43.000 -> 55:45.040] توقف توقف هذا ليس الشيء الصحيح ثم تذهب قليلاً إلى اليسار وتقول First you fall in love with someone and then you go like, hold on, hold on, that's not the right thing.
[55:45.040 -> 55:47.320] And then you go a little bit to the right and say,
[55:47.320 -> 55:48.680] no, I want a taller one.
[55:48.680 -> 55:49.960] And then, oh no, no, hold on,
[55:49.960 -> 55:51.800] taller is like a little too much for me.
[55:51.800 -> 55:53.760] I need one that is smarter.
[55:53.760 -> 55:56.640] And you just keep going through that quest
[55:56.640 -> 56:01.200] until eventually you say, aha, now I know, right?
[56:01.200 -> 56:04.960] Now I found out how to tread that journey.
[56:04.960 -> 56:06.740] And then you go fall in
[56:06.740 -> 56:10.620] love with the right person that fits you and then go along that journey ticking
[56:10.620 -> 56:14.940] those boxes one by one and then end up in the right place right and applies to
[56:14.940 -> 56:19.180] everything to your business to your you know to your finances to your happiness
[56:19.180 -> 56:25.080] I'm intrigued about how that same thing applies to your family because you're
[56:25.080 -> 56:30.760] describing like the like the wisdom that Ali was sharing with you at 16 years of
[56:30.760 -> 56:37.560] of age is is breathtaking and I'm interested in what sort of father you
[56:37.560 -> 56:41.720] were when you think about just looking under your feet rather than at the
[56:41.720 -> 56:46.440] target. I did some good things and some horrible things. I was
[56:46.440 -> 56:51.600] very very very very driven very driven again in that little voice in your head
[56:51.600 -> 56:56.480] that's the opening introduction. The minute Ali came into the world I became
[56:56.480 -> 57:01.440] a different person okay and I'm you know I'm I don't know how to say this
[57:01.440 -> 57:06.840] diplomatically. I'm not really into kids I don't like kids I mean I love my kids I don't hate the other ones but if you, I'm not really into kids, I don't like kids. I mean, I love my kids, I don't hate the other ones,
[57:06.840 -> 57:09.280] but if you keep them at a bit of a distance,
[57:09.280 -> 57:11.800] I'm more comfortable, kids and little puppies.
[57:11.800 -> 57:13.360] Very cute, but not mine, right?
[57:13.360 -> 57:16.840] So, you know, if you're a dog lover, I apologize.
[57:16.840 -> 57:19.120] But anyway, that's how I feel.
[57:19.120 -> 57:20.960] But the minute I saw Ali,
[57:20.960 -> 57:23.680] I promise you something in me shifted, okay?
[57:23.680 -> 57:27.680] And my entire being shifted into no longer the one that was focused on me, فأنت علي، أعدك أن شيء فيي تتغير، وكان جسمي كامل يتغير إلى أنه لا يزال
[57:27.680 -> 57:35.360] يركز على نفسي، ولكن أبي يقوم بوضع كل ما يمكنه في حتى يتأكد من أن هذا
[57:35.360 -> 57:46.440] الشخص الصغير لا يحتاج إلى أي شيء. وكذلك ككلنا، عندما وضعت نفسي على هذا الطريق، Like all of us, once I put myself on that path, I ran a sprint for years and years and
[57:46.440 -> 57:51.220] years and years and years, never stopping to review the context until actually they
[57:51.220 -> 57:53.520] were maybe seven, eight or so.
[57:53.520 -> 57:58.400] I was just running like a maniac, making so much money that they don't need, but still
[57:58.400 -> 58:09.480] running because they will never need anything in their life. And the challenge for me was, I actually realized that what
[58:09.480 -> 58:15.800] they actually needed was me to be there, beyond the point where you can provide. What they
[58:15.800 -> 58:19.720] actually needed was for me to be there. What they actually needed was for me to not to
[58:19.720 -> 58:20.720] snap.
[58:20.720 -> 58:22.280] What made you realize that?
[58:22.280 -> 58:26.080] Habib T.A. and my daughter, remember early 30s I was an
[58:26.080 -> 58:32.160] executive at Microsoft, reasonably senior, I was a very very serious trader in the
[58:32.160 -> 58:35.720] stock market. At the time the tools were not very sophisticated and I was very
[58:35.720 -> 58:41.600] mathematical and I was a developer so I wrote my own code to actually create my
[58:41.600 -> 58:46.240] own trading strategy and I sort of printed money on demand.
[58:46.240 -> 58:48.680] And everything was going well,
[58:48.680 -> 58:53.240] but I was totally stressed, totally grumpy.
[58:53.240 -> 58:55.760] And Saturday morning, I'm looking at something,
[58:55.760 -> 58:58.080] reading an email or reviewing a stock performance
[58:58.080 -> 59:00.160] or whatever, Aya walks in,
[59:00.160 -> 59:03.720] and she's jumping up and down from excitement.
[59:03.720 -> 59:05.160] We're gonna go to this place and
[59:05.160 -> 59:08.840] we're gonna do this and then we're gonna do that and can we go have ice cream afterwards
[59:08.840 -> 59:15.840] and I'm like, can we please be serious for a minute? She was five. She was five. What
[59:15.840 -> 59:22.680] was I talking about? Okay. And I could see with my own eyes, with my own eyes, I could
[59:22.680 -> 59:25.960] see my daughter's heartbreak. It was so clear.
[59:25.960 -> 59:32.360] She suddenly from that elation she looked down and burst crying and ran
[59:32.360 -> 59:39.480] away. And I just suddenly realized I don't like me that way, I really don't
[59:39.480 -> 59:46.480] like that person. And I made it my commitment that from that moment on I'm going to change.
[59:46.480 -> 59:51.280] Took me 12 years to master it, right, four and a half years to even begin to see
[59:51.280 -> 59:57.440] results. I made it my number one choice to stop being that grumpy annoying rich
[59:57.440 -> 01:00:06.000] bastard, sorry to say, and become a human that actually prioritizes things properly.
[01:00:07.000 -> 01:00:10.000] It's a great story. And there's a great lesson as well in life there that
[01:00:10.000 -> 01:00:13.000] when do we stop being the ones that are excited about ice cream?
[01:00:13.000 -> 01:00:16.000] My kid the other day went to school, okay, and he said to me,
[01:00:16.000 -> 01:00:17.000] he said, I'd love you.
[01:00:17.000 -> 01:00:20.000] He said, Dad, I'd love a water slide.
[01:00:20.000 -> 01:00:21.000] I said, I'll tell you what then, while you're at school,
[01:00:21.000 -> 01:00:24.000] I'll build you a water slide and it'll take you to the beach.
[01:00:24.000 -> 01:00:25.200] He's six years old. And when he came home, he ran around the side of the house. I thought, where'll tell you what then, while you're at school, I'll build you a water slide and it'll take you to the beach. He's six years old.
[01:00:25.200 -> 01:00:28.040] And when he came home, he ran around the side of the house, I thought, where is he going?
[01:00:28.040 -> 01:00:29.360] And he came back crestfallen.
[01:00:29.360 -> 01:00:31.520] Where's the water slide?
[01:00:31.520 -> 01:00:37.560] What I love though, is that at six years old, he genuinely believes his dad can build a
[01:00:37.560 -> 01:00:42.720] water slide while he's at school from our house to the beach 40 miles away.
[01:00:42.720 -> 01:00:45.160] It's a shame that we lose that in life isn't it?
[01:00:45.160 -> 01:00:48.840] And we no longer believe that anything can be possible. There's a real joy in
[01:00:48.840 -> 01:00:53.960] that you know. Playfulness remember is on the feminine side and our hyper
[01:00:53.960 -> 01:01:01.360] masculine world deprioritizes that. But some of the most, some of the wisest
[01:01:01.360 -> 01:01:07.920] masters I have learned from or became friends with will tell you
[01:01:07.920 -> 01:01:10.840] that the absolute best path through life,
[01:01:10.840 -> 01:01:14.000] the most efficient high performance path through life
[01:01:14.000 -> 01:01:15.080] is to play.
[01:01:15.080 -> 01:01:17.280] And I know this sounds really weird.
[01:01:17.280 -> 01:01:21.120] So I am a very, very serious video gamer, very serious.
[01:01:21.120 -> 01:01:25.000] Like I never say my gamer's name in public
[01:01:25.900 -> 01:01:28.260] because I'm the one that killed you yesterday.
[01:01:28.260 -> 01:01:29.980] So it's as simple as that, right?
[01:01:29.980 -> 01:01:33.960] And the way I play, I promise you,
[01:01:33.960 -> 01:01:38.300] is the highest performance I have ever achieved in life
[01:01:38.300 -> 01:01:41.420] is the ability to tune into a game
[01:01:41.420 -> 01:01:49.120] and move from the analytical, strategic, clever player to total flow.
[01:01:49.120 -> 01:01:56.000] Total flow is to blend with the game of life, is to literally let life tell you in microsecond
[01:01:56.000 -> 01:02:02.440] intervals take a little left, go this way, do that and believe it or not that is the
[01:02:02.440 -> 01:02:03.480] skill.
[01:02:03.480 -> 01:02:06.640] If you've ever worked with very senior business leaders or
[01:02:06.640 -> 01:02:14.160] very senior coaches or they no longer analyze, they're in flow, they're completely, they're
[01:02:15.120 -> 01:02:23.200] part of the flow of the game, part as life ticks along, they're able to see and respond,
[01:02:23.200 -> 01:02:26.080] not see and analyze and work and push.
[01:02:26.080 -> 01:02:31.360] And we've had some amazing guests on this podcast that have described that
[01:02:31.360 -> 01:02:37.040] state of flow, that state of grace. How do you get there? Actually in my next book I
[01:02:37.040 -> 01:02:42.140] realized while I was researching it that flow is the only state where you get
[01:02:42.140 -> 01:02:50.880] dopamine and serotonin at the same time in your body. So you're very excited but you're very calm at the same time. And interestingly, what happens
[01:02:50.880 -> 01:02:58.000] is first of all you have to let go of the long-term objective. You have to be here now.
[01:02:58.000 -> 01:03:06.000] If you tell me our objective of today is to do an hour of conversation and I focus on ومهما كانت تلك المرات، فإنه يجب أن تكون المرات المتحدة ويجب أن تكون المرات المتحدة
[01:03:06.000 -> 01:03:08.000] ويجب أن تكون المرات المتحدة
[01:03:08.000 -> 01:03:10.000] ويجب أن تكون المرات المتحدة
[01:03:10.000 -> 01:03:12.000] ويجب أن تكون المرات المتحدة
[01:03:12.000 -> 01:03:14.000] ويجب أن تكون المرات المتحدة
[01:03:14.000 -> 01:03:16.000] ويجب أن تكون المرات المتحدة
[01:03:16.000 -> 01:03:18.000] ويجب أن تكون المرات المتحدة
[01:03:18.000 -> 01:03:20.000] ويجب أن تكون المرات المتحدة
[01:03:20.000 -> 01:03:22.000] ويجب أن تكون المرات المتحدة
[01:03:22.000 -> 01:03:24.000] ويجب أن تكون المرات المتحدة
[01:03:24.000 -> 01:03:26.080] ويجب أن تكون المرات المتحدة ويجب أن تكون المرات المتحدة is stop focusing on the result, focus on the performance. That's number one. Number two is
[01:03:26.080 -> 01:03:32.880] you only flow when the task is slightly more difficult than your skills but not difficult
[01:03:32.880 -> 01:03:39.040] enough to distract you and not easy enough for you to lose interest or not focus on it entirely.
[01:03:39.040 -> 01:03:47.280] So if you're able to play a song at a certain speed then flow is to just to flow you just have to
[01:03:47.280 -> 01:03:53.280] pick the speed up a tiny bit okay and then now you're really not really
[01:03:53.280 -> 01:03:58.200] struggling but you're challenged if you want and then the third is you focus on
[01:03:58.200 -> 01:04:03.640] the components each component of the of the task not not you know so basically
[01:04:03.640 -> 01:04:09.000] you're you're perfecting every every strum on your guitar not the entire فكيف تستطيع تحسين كل صوت على الغيتار وليس كل صوت
[01:04:09.000 -> 01:04:16.000] فقط تنظر إلى كل صوت وتقول إن أحصل على صوت صحيح فسأركز على الغيتار التالي
[01:04:16.000 -> 01:04:19.000] فالنظر إلى الوقت الحالي تماما
[01:04:19.000 -> 01:04:27.500] ولكي تكون قادر على فعل ذلك عليك إزالة كل المشاكل. هذه هي أربع قوانين من قبل. مجزم من عملي في ذلك الصوت الصغير في رأسك
[01:04:27.500 -> 01:04:29.000] هو أن تقول أن قوانينك أربع
[01:04:29.000 -> 01:04:30.500] هي أن عليك فعل ذلك.
[01:04:30.500 -> 01:04:32.500] وعندما تزالج المشاكل
[01:04:32.500 -> 01:04:35.500] وأن عملك تتحققك قليلاً
[01:04:35.500 -> 01:04:37.500] وأنك تركز على قليل بقليل منها
[01:04:37.500 -> 01:04:40.000] وليس على مدارس النهاية
[01:04:40.000 -> 01:04:42.000] تدخل في الطريق.
[01:04:42.000 -> 01:04:43.000] وعلى سبيل المثال
[01:04:43.000 -> 01:04:45.620] يبدو أن الطريق محفوظ في حياته للأفراد والمشاركين والمشاركين وما إلى ذلك you get into flow. And by the way, flow seems to have been reserved in life
[01:04:45.620 -> 01:04:47.920] to athletes and pianists and so on
[01:04:47.920 -> 01:04:50.220] who are at the top level of execution.
[01:04:50.220 -> 01:04:51.060] Not true at all.
[01:04:51.060 -> 01:04:53.540] You can flow when you're playing with your daughter.
[01:04:53.540 -> 01:04:56.020] You can flow when you're talking to your son, right?
[01:04:56.020 -> 01:04:58.220] It's basically that idea of,
[01:04:58.220 -> 01:05:00.820] I'm gonna do a little better than last time,
[01:05:00.820 -> 01:05:02.780] and I'm gonna focus on every single word,
[01:05:02.780 -> 01:05:08.420] every single action, rather than the big picture, and I'm gonna switch off my phone, switch off all other distractions
[01:05:08.420 -> 01:05:11.860] so that I'm completely in that space. And distractions in the modern world is
[01:05:11.860 -> 01:05:16.500] another whole conversation. Oh absolutely and we're probably more distracted
[01:05:16.500 -> 01:05:19.980] every day Jake than we are actually focusing. It's quite interesting how we
[01:05:19.980 -> 01:05:25.920] shifted. I hosted Nir Eyal, you absolutely should host him here. I تغييرنا ، وقد قمت بمشاركة نير إيال إذا كنت تجب أن تشاركه هنا بالتأكيد ، وكتبت كتابة
[01:05:25.920 -> 01:05:33.840] يسمى غير مخلوق ، وسوف يصف لك بسبب أن كل المخلوقات التي لدينا في حياتنا
[01:05:33.840 -> 01:05:40.240] ليسوا نتائج الهدايا ، ولكنها في الواقع نتائج المعاناة في المعاناة
[01:05:40.240 -> 01:05:45.120] أنك تصل إلى هاتفك دائماً لأنك غير مخلوق ، أنت تعرف أنك تشعر بالمعاناة that you reach out to your phone constantly because you're uncomfortable
[01:05:45.120 -> 01:05:48.560] you know you feel a discomfort that you don't know what's happening or that you
[01:05:48.560 -> 01:05:52.380] may miss something out you know you're constantly looking at Instagram to see
[01:05:52.380 -> 01:05:56.060] if you got a like because you're you know you feel the discomfort of do they
[01:05:56.060 -> 01:06:01.920] like me you know it all of those things are driven by discomforts not by actual
[01:06:01.920 -> 01:06:06.540] desires and because we have so much on our minds now, the
[01:06:06.540 -> 01:06:10.300] discomforts are more prominent than actual comforts in life.
[01:06:10.300 -> 01:06:16.700] Can I just take you back to something you mentioned about learnings and leaders and things that you've picked up from people?
[01:06:16.700 -> 01:06:23.800] What is the single most important piece of learning from a spiritual guide that you have picked up in your life
[01:06:23.800 -> 01:06:25.840] that is something that you
[01:06:25.840 -> 01:06:30.760] would regularly come back to? My favourite piece of learning was to learn
[01:06:30.760 -> 01:06:36.280] how to learn. When I finished uni, one of the most profound decisions I ever
[01:06:36.280 -> 01:06:42.960] made was I'm gonna invest an hour a day in my brain and so I consistently most
[01:06:42.960 -> 01:06:45.320] days in my life would spend an hour either reading
[01:06:45.320 -> 01:06:50.960] a book or watching a documentary or doing something useful on YouTube or whatever. And
[01:06:50.960 -> 01:06:58.720] you will be blown away. If Malcolm Gladwell's theory of 10,000 hours is true, I've done
[01:06:58.720 -> 01:07:04.040] 10,000 hours more of learning than my peers who didn't do that when they stopped university.
[01:07:04.040 -> 01:07:09.840] And that really flips everything upside down. When you think about it, you know, over the years, it just
[01:07:09.840 -> 01:07:11.240] keeps adding up.
[01:07:11.240 -> 01:07:17.040] On the spiritual side, I would say maybe the freshest on my mind is I'm working, my following
[01:07:17.040 -> 01:07:22.300] book in November is called Unstressable, and I'm working with a wonderful British young
[01:07:22.300 -> 01:07:45.000] lady, Alice Law, who's a stress management expert. And Alice and I were working on a كنت أعمل معنا حقنا للدين
[01:07:45.000 -> 01:07:47.000] و أقول حقنا للدين
[01:07:47.000 -> 01:07:51.000] لأن أولئك الذين أدعووا أن شركة الدين تتخلص
[01:07:51.000 -> 01:07:53.000] و لذلك بشكل ممتع
[01:07:53.000 -> 01:07:55.000] كنا نحرك إلى النقطة
[01:07:55.000 -> 01:07:57.000] حيث أنه بينما يتعلق المثل الصيني
[01:07:57.000 -> 01:07:59.000] بكل شيء موجود في الواقع
[01:07:59.000 -> 01:08:02.000] مع تحليل كل شيء موجود في الواقع
[01:08:02.000 -> 01:08:06.000] إذا كنت تريد تحليل أي شيء موجود في الواقع فالفلسفة التي تستخدمها للتحليل هو الدين everything that's physical, if you want to analyze anything that's beyond physical, the philosophy
[01:08:06.000 -> 01:08:10.400] you use for that is spirituality. And I use philosophy because it's not science, you cannot
[01:08:10.400 -> 01:08:15.840] prove what's not physical. I think the most interesting part of this conversation in the
[01:08:15.840 -> 01:08:21.840] chapter is that spirituality is very personal, which most people didn't understand because the
[01:08:21.840 -> 01:08:30.880] typical approach to spirituality is we're going to follow a cult or a religion or a guru or someone is going to tell us to unify around one approach
[01:08:30.880 -> 01:08:37.200] to it when in reality there could be 7.3 billion approaches to spirituality. It's your own
[01:08:37.760 -> 01:08:46.120] personal spirituality. As long as you choose to say I think there are things that I cannot measure
[01:08:46.120 -> 01:08:48.880] with the scientific method that do exist
[01:08:48.880 -> 01:08:50.520] and I need to ponder those,
[01:08:50.520 -> 01:08:52.360] things like love, for example,
[01:08:52.360 -> 01:08:54.200] we all have felt love,
[01:08:54.200 -> 01:08:56.380] but we've never managed to measure it
[01:08:56.380 -> 01:09:01.380] with a love-o-meter in physics or in science, right?
[01:09:01.520 -> 01:09:03.800] So once you realize that there are things
[01:09:03.800 -> 01:09:05.600] that are not physical, that do exist,
[01:09:05.600 -> 01:09:13.360] consciousness, love, or maybe the existence of a oneness between us or a soul or something else,
[01:09:13.920 -> 01:09:18.800] you don't have to agree or disagree but you have to ponder those. And when you ponder them,
[01:09:18.800 -> 01:09:22.560] because there are so many of them, you'd end up in a configuration that's your own.
[01:09:23.280 -> 01:09:32.120] If you ask me what spirituality do I believe in, I believe in what Mo believes in. It doesn't have to align to Christianity
[01:09:32.120 -> 01:09:37.600] or Islam or whatever, it's just the result of my own investigation, my own exploration
[01:09:37.600 -> 01:09:38.600] if you want.
[01:09:38.600 -> 01:09:44.160] I'd love you to teach us the kind of messages that we need to get better at regarding the
[01:09:44.160 -> 01:09:45.600] following. The first one is how do to get better at regarding the following.
[01:09:45.600 -> 01:09:50.400] The first one is how do we get better at being more optimistic?
[01:09:50.400 -> 01:09:53.960] Your worst nightmares have never happened.
[01:09:53.960 -> 01:09:55.240] Just remember that.
[01:09:55.240 -> 01:09:56.240] Okay.
[01:09:56.240 -> 01:10:01.600] Remember that you're still here with a beautiful electronic device in your hand, watching a
[01:10:01.600 -> 01:10:07.960] podcast that's recorded on a very fascinating piece of technology, life is okay.
[01:10:07.960 -> 01:10:08.800] It's a great saying,
[01:10:08.800 -> 01:10:10.640] you've survived a hundred percent of your worst days.
[01:10:10.640 -> 01:10:11.600] Exactly, right?
[01:10:11.600 -> 01:10:12.440] Yeah.
[01:10:13.280 -> 01:10:15.120] Finding highlights.
[01:10:15.120 -> 01:10:17.000] Finding highlights.
[01:10:17.000 -> 01:10:19.520] Six to seven of every 10 thoughts
[01:10:19.520 -> 01:10:22.080] in the adult brain are negative.
[01:10:22.080 -> 01:10:27.480] Simply because, this is a research at Stanford University. Simply because your brain is a
[01:10:27.480 -> 01:10:32.460] survival machine. Your brain is supposed to find what's wrong because what's wrong is
[01:10:32.460 -> 01:10:37.600] more important for your survival. If a tiger shows up in this room, my brain has no benefit
[01:10:37.600 -> 01:10:43.600] whatsoever to say look at the beautiful patterns. It has every benefit to say shit we're gonna
[01:10:43.600 -> 01:10:45.360] die. It does that with everything. The reality say, shit we're gonna die, right? It does that with
[01:10:45.360 -> 01:10:50.560] everything. The reality however, if you're into math and facts, is that
[01:10:50.560 -> 01:10:55.880] 99.9% of life is positive. When you see it that way, you realize that
[01:10:55.880 -> 01:11:03.000] 99.9% of life is okay, right? And so if you're not seeing the highlights, you're
[01:11:03.000 -> 01:11:05.500] lying to yourself. and what good does it
[01:11:05.500 -> 01:11:09.720] give you to actually analyze life based on the wrong information. The correct
[01:11:09.720 -> 01:11:15.440] information is that 99.9% of life is okay. And the last one I wanted you to talk to
[01:11:15.440 -> 01:11:19.040] us about is gaining perspective but I guess the two are linked actually.
[01:11:19.040 -> 01:11:27.960] It's just so fresh on my mind I don't know if I should share this. One of my best فقط فريدًا جدًا في عقلي لا أعلم إن كان علي أن أشارك هذا أحد أصدقائي، رجلًا يدعى سهم
[01:11:28.520 -> 01:11:31.040] سهم هو حقًا
[01:11:31.480 -> 01:11:33.480] لديه شعور بشعور بأنه رجل جيد
[01:11:34.040 -> 01:11:36.840] ساعدني كثيرًا عندما ترك عالمنا
[01:11:37.200 -> 01:11:39.480] ونحن أيضًا فعلنا الكثير من المشروع معًا
[01:11:40.120 -> 01:11:43.760] وفي عام 2018، كان الحياة مؤلمة جدًا لنا
[01:11:43.840 -> 01:11:47.000] كتابه خارج وكنت أسرع فيها وكذلك
[01:11:47.000 -> 01:11:53.000] وفي أي حال، أخبرت ساهم بأنني ربما يجب أن أخرج من جزء من العمل
[01:11:53.000 -> 01:11:56.000] وأن أعاون أعمالنا لأنهي الأن
[01:11:56.000 -> 01:12:09.000] وكان لدينا مجتمع ونفقنا على بعض الأشياء وشعرت أنه يتعامل معي بشكل غير صحيح. وعندما حدث هذا، شعرت بشكل سيئ بشكل محدد
[01:12:09.000 -> 01:12:12.000] وربما لم أتواصل بسهل.
[01:12:12.000 -> 01:12:14.000] حتى عدد من الأشهر قبل،
[01:12:14.000 -> 01:12:18.000] أتصل به وقلت له، هيا يا رجل، نحن أصدقاء جيدين،
[01:12:18.000 -> 01:12:23.000] دعنا نترك أشعار قلبنا ونلتقي فقط.
[01:12:23.000 -> 01:12:26.000] قمت بجلده و وقال ماذا حدث؟ وقلت حسنا موسى أسفلها وكان يقول لا لا لا
[01:12:26.000 -> 01:12:28.000] لا أستطيع أن أسفلها
[01:12:28.000 -> 01:12:30.000] تؤلمني كثيرا
[01:12:30.000 -> 01:12:32.000] وقال ماذا تتحدث عن؟
[01:12:32.000 -> 01:12:34.000] وقال حسنا
[01:12:34.000 -> 01:12:36.000] عندما كان لدينا مجتمع
[01:12:36.000 -> 01:12:38.000] لقد كتبت لي حفلة
[01:12:38.000 -> 01:12:40.000] لتعاون مجتمعنا
[01:12:40.000 -> 01:12:42.000] لأسعار مهمة
[01:12:42.000 -> 01:12:44.000] فحفلت
[01:12:44.000 -> 01:12:46.000] ولم أحصل على تلك المال في مجلس العمل، كتبت لي حفلة لتعاون عملنا لأسعار مهمة
[01:12:46.000 -> 01:12:48.000] فحفلة تنفجر
[01:12:48.000 -> 01:12:50.000] ولم أحصل على ذلك المال
[01:12:50.000 -> 01:12:52.000] اتصلت بك وغيرتني
[01:12:52.000 -> 01:12:56.000] ورسلتك رسالة على موقع واتس اب
[01:12:56.000 -> 01:12:57.000] ولم تجيب عليها
[01:12:57.000 -> 01:12:59.000] ورسلتك رسالة على فيسبوك
[01:12:59.000 -> 01:13:00.000] ولم تفتحها
[01:13:00.000 -> 01:13:07.000] وماذا اثنين امي وابي م 2 أسابيع ولم تتصل بي أبداً
[01:13:07.000 -> 01:13:11.000] ويمكنني أن أخبرك بباقي القصة لكن في قلبي
[01:13:11.000 -> 01:13:31.040] كانت المنظرة لحالة سام غير صادقة عندما تعاملنا بعملنا حينما في الحقيقة كنت مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد مجرد م almost bordering on criminal to give him a check that bounces when we're reconciling our business. And that's probably the biggest reason why we do
[01:13:31.040 -> 01:13:36.200] bad in life. Nobody wakes up in the morning and and says hey I'm gonna hurt
[01:13:36.200 -> 01:13:39.400] someone today or I'm going to do something horrible that makes everyone
[01:13:39.400 -> 01:13:46.920] dislike me. Everyone is informed by a perspective, by a vantage point if you
[01:13:46.920 -> 01:13:51.480] want, that is so limited because none of us knows everything. And then we build
[01:13:51.480 -> 01:13:57.080] our entire stories in our heads on top of that. And those stories destroy us,
[01:13:57.080 -> 01:14:02.680] destroy our best friendships, destroy our relationships, our love
[01:14:02.680 -> 01:14:05.000] and romantic relationships.
[01:14:05.000 -> 01:14:06.880] They destroy everything.
[01:14:06.880 -> 01:14:10.640] And I wonder, I mean, this story with Sims
[01:14:10.640 -> 01:14:14.360] probably was very shocking for me because I'm not like that.
[01:14:14.360 -> 01:14:19.360] But so many of us go through this on daily basis.
[01:14:19.380 -> 01:14:22.680] My boss is this, the government is that,
[01:14:22.680 -> 01:14:25.200] the NHS is that or whatever, I don't know.
[01:14:25.840 -> 01:14:32.480] And it's so shocking when you actually stop and say, could I be blind? Maybe I'm not seeing the
[01:14:32.480 -> 01:14:38.720] full picture. What is it that I'm missing? What excuses do the others have? What is their story?
[01:14:39.440 -> 01:14:41.120] Empathy once again at the fore.
[01:14:41.120 -> 01:14:41.840] Absolutely.
[01:14:42.480 -> 01:14:44.480] Let's move on to our quickfire questions, Mo.
[01:14:44.480 -> 01:14:51.940] Your three non-negotiables for life. Honesty, love and doing good. If you could
[01:14:51.940 -> 01:14:57.860] go back to one moment of your life what would it be and why? I'd go back to the
[01:14:57.860 -> 01:15:02.860] moment he left and hug him one more time. How important is legacy to you? Nothing.
[01:15:02.860 -> 01:15:08.560] As a matter of fact it's distracting. What legacy? I'll be dead. I don't care.
[01:15:08.560 -> 01:15:12.560] Seriously, why do people think about that?
[01:15:12.560 -> 01:15:17.400] Do you... to take it away from quickfire then, legacy means nothing to you, but is there
[01:15:17.400 -> 01:15:21.600] an element of you that sees the work you're doing now as the legacy of Ali?
[01:15:21.600 -> 01:15:26.840] No. No. The work I started was the legacy of Ali. So 10
[01:15:26.840 -> 01:15:32.600] million happy was for Ali. 1 billion happy is for the rest of us. I don't
[01:15:32.600 -> 01:15:36.480] know how to say this but if you're chasing legacy you're driven by
[01:15:36.480 -> 01:15:41.120] your ego and you're driven by your ego even before you die, even after you die.
[01:15:41.120 -> 01:15:46.240] How stupid is that? I know it sounds really weird,
[01:15:46.240 -> 01:15:48.680] but isn't what matters?
[01:15:48.680 -> 01:15:50.360] The legacy of this minute?
[01:15:50.360 -> 01:15:51.320] Isn't this what matters?
[01:15:51.320 -> 01:15:53.640] Like I'm going to do this minute right,
[01:15:53.640 -> 01:15:56.340] and then the next minute has its own legacy?
[01:15:56.340 -> 01:15:58.520] What advice would you give to a teenage Mo,
[01:15:58.520 -> 01:15:59.560] just starting out?
[01:15:59.560 -> 01:16:01.720] I say life is a video game,
[01:16:01.720 -> 01:16:03.760] absolutely is a video game.
[01:16:03.760 -> 01:16:06.120] And so, you know, when I played with Ali,
[01:16:06.120 -> 01:16:08.480] Ali was much better than I was when he was alive.
[01:16:08.480 -> 01:16:09.880] I think I would beat him now,
[01:16:09.880 -> 01:16:12.740] but when he was alive, he was so much better than me.
[01:16:12.740 -> 01:16:14.240] And I was very strategic.
[01:16:14.240 -> 01:16:17.640] I would actually go and try to finish the game.
[01:16:17.640 -> 01:16:21.120] Ali would try to play the game, very different.
[01:16:21.120 -> 01:16:23.160] He would go to the difficult parts of the game
[01:16:23.160 -> 01:16:24.640] where there are explosions and smoke,
[01:16:24.640 -> 01:16:30.000] and I would ask him, why? Why would you go there go there and he says this is where all the fun is. This is where
[01:16:30.000 -> 01:16:36.000] you learn, you develop and you become a better gamer. Think about that. If life was a game,
[01:16:36.000 -> 01:16:40.880] it's an infinite game. It's not about winning, it's not about the destination, it's about the
[01:16:40.880 -> 01:16:47.080] gameplay. It's about enjoying every minute of the game. And have you learned to do that in life, to chase the excitement?
[01:16:47.080 -> 01:16:52.760] Nobody ever learns to do that fully but I think the most perfect example I had,
[01:16:52.760 -> 01:16:57.360] and I had the honor of spending an hour and a half with him, is His Holiness the Dalai Lama,
[01:16:57.360 -> 01:17:09.520] where truly he comes across as one of the wisest men on earth but also the biggest kid you can ever meet and it's such a wonderful combination because we were really
[01:17:09.520 -> 01:17:13.120] talking about very deep topic and important projects and we were laughing
[01:17:13.120 -> 01:17:17.160] our heads off and just all over the place and it was wonderful in every
[01:17:17.160 -> 01:17:22.640] possible way. Brilliant. One book that you would recommend our listeners to this
[01:17:22.640 -> 01:17:34.000] podcast get their hands on? Stephen Bartlett's Happy Sexy Millionaire. Damn you Stephen! So well written to the point.
[01:17:34.000 -> 01:17:38.360] Amazing in every possible way. And finally your one golden rule for listeners
[01:17:38.360 -> 01:17:43.200] to live a high performance life. Choose what it is that you want to perform.
[01:17:43.200 -> 01:17:46.400] If you perform adequately at something that matters,
[01:17:46.400 -> 01:17:49.800] it's much better than performing brilliantly at something that doesn't.
[01:17:49.800 -> 01:17:51.400] Wonderful. Thank you so much.
[01:17:51.400 -> 01:17:53.200] Thanks for having me. It's been wonderful.
[01:17:57.400 -> 01:17:58.200] Damien.
[01:17:58.200 -> 01:17:58.800] Jake.
[01:17:58.800 -> 01:17:59.800] What a bright man.
[01:17:59.800 -> 01:18:02.400] Amazing. That was a real eye-opener.
[01:18:02.400 -> 01:18:04.000] I'm a very simple guy.
[01:18:04.000 -> 01:18:08.760] And sometimes I found myself really ha- it was quite hard.
[01:18:08.760 -> 01:18:12.000] You might have noticed a few of my questions, the question wasn't quite ready
[01:18:12.000 -> 01:18:16.200] because I'm still processing the answer he's just given to the previous question.
[01:18:16.200 -> 01:18:22.840] And, you know, I think it's a good reminder that sometimes it is good to go deep,
[01:18:22.840 -> 01:18:27.880] like to go really deep and just to go a bit extra with things rather than just float through on the surface. Like I want
[01:18:27.880 -> 01:18:31.360] to listen now to that conversation two, three, four times over because I know
[01:18:31.360 -> 01:18:34.120] that every time I listen to it I will get something more from it.
[01:18:34.120 -> 01:18:38.080] Toby Valliery Yeah, what I was intrigued about was that, you know, he was a guy that's been
[01:18:38.080 -> 01:18:42.400] phenomenally successful in his life and then he's had almost the unimaginable
[01:18:42.400 -> 01:18:47.080] trauma of losing his son to five preventable mistakes
[01:18:47.080 -> 01:18:52.800] that were made. And I think what he's offering us is the quest that he's been on. He made
[01:18:52.800 -> 01:18:57.960] that distinction between a quest and a journey to understand the importance of happiness.
[01:18:57.960 -> 01:19:02.600] And I think what he was sharing with us was invaluable. That flowchart, for example, of
[01:19:02.600 -> 01:19:06.120] asking, is it true? Then can I do anything about it?
[01:19:06.120 -> 01:19:12.600] And then what can I do with this presence in my life? It was an incredible, just a three-step
[01:19:12.600 -> 01:19:15.160] process that any of us can adopt at any stage.
[01:19:15.160 -> 01:19:20.000] I really liked it when he was talking about that as well, when he was kind of saying that,
[01:19:20.000 -> 01:19:24.080] you know, you've got the facts, like the thing, everything else is kind of added on, made
[01:19:24.080 -> 01:19:26.560] up, your interpretation,
[01:19:26.560 -> 01:19:30.760] your opinion of what else might be there. And it's like actually, how often do I spend
[01:19:30.760 -> 01:19:37.320] my days taking into consideration things that actually don't exist? Yeah, shit loads. All
[01:19:37.320 -> 01:19:41.600] the time. I'm all the time thinking about things that don't exist. You know, does it
[01:19:41.600 -> 01:19:50.240] mean this? Does it mean that? Did they actually want to tell me this? Everything has double meaning or deeper meaning or has some kind of other element
[01:19:50.240 -> 01:19:55.560] that isn't actually there when I consider it. And maybe, like I'm overthinking things
[01:19:55.560 -> 01:19:59.960] because I've been taught that I need to look into it and really sort of investigate things
[01:19:59.960 -> 01:20:04.920] that people are saying or what's going on, because you think that's a strength or a superpower.
[01:20:04.920 -> 01:20:07.560] But actually sometimes it can be the one thing that derails you, maybe.
[01:20:07.560 -> 01:20:13.120] Yeah, it's the Occam's razor, that the simplest solution is actually the one that we miss
[01:20:13.120 -> 01:20:16.840] out on. I think another thing that's thrown off me, I'd be interested in your view on
[01:20:16.840 -> 01:20:22.720] it Jake, is that 90 second rule about how you can only hold anger in your system for
[01:20:22.720 -> 01:20:23.720] 90 seconds.
[01:20:23.720 -> 01:20:27.800] And then you rethink it again and reprocess it again. Yeah, I absolutely think that's
[01:20:27.800 -> 01:20:31.520] right. And I think that's a good learning curve actually for everyone that listens to
[01:20:31.520 -> 01:20:36.000] this podcast. You only hold anger for 90 seconds. Johnny Wilkinson won the Rugby World Cup and
[01:20:36.000 -> 01:20:41.640] felt joy for 30 seconds. You know, everything is fleeting. Everything passes. So actually
[01:20:41.640 -> 01:20:49.240] all you can do is be in the moment. Like, it really doesn't matter what happened 30 seconds ago or in 30 seconds time. I liked it when he, when we spoke about legacy
[01:20:49.240 -> 01:20:53.920] and he said the legacy is this moment. Like right now, this is this moment right now,
[01:20:53.920 -> 01:20:57.720] you me and the people listening to this podcast will never get it back. So just enjoy this
[01:20:57.720 -> 01:21:01.760] moment. Who knows what happens in five minutes. One of us might not be around anymore, but
[01:21:01.760 -> 01:21:05.520] right now this is it. This is the moment. And I think that is a powerful way to live your life.
[01:21:05.520 -> 01:21:07.960] Steve Marrer Yeah. And again, I think it's a real challenge
[01:21:07.960 -> 01:21:12.640] to this idea of the traditional view of high performance. We're constantly striving for
[01:21:12.640 -> 01:21:17.640] the next thing and the next thing, whereas sometimes high performance is just being happy
[01:21:17.640 -> 01:21:19.640] in this moment where we are.
[01:21:19.640 -> 01:21:21.640] Jason Vale Lovely way to finish. Thanks, Damian.
[01:21:21.640 -> 01:21:22.640] Steve Marrer Thanks, mate.
[01:21:22.640 -> 01:21:27.520] Jason Vale Right then, it's time to meet another high performance listener. This is the part of
[01:21:27.520 -> 01:21:33.280] the show that Damian and I really love because it's an opportunity for us to find out not just
[01:21:33.280 -> 01:21:37.520] why people listen to the podcast, but I think also the episodes which have really impacted them,
[01:21:37.520 -> 01:21:42.640] which is without question helpful for you if you're wondering where to go for inspiration
[01:21:42.640 -> 01:21:45.080] among the hundred plus episodes of High Performance.
[01:21:45.080 -> 01:21:47.840] So it's a very warm welcome to Matt Treynor. Hi Matt.
[01:21:47.840 -> 01:21:49.200] Hi, how are you?
[01:21:49.200 -> 01:21:52.680] Really well, thanks very much. Listen, you pinged us a message, you got in touch with
[01:21:52.680 -> 01:21:56.600] us on Facebook, but I think you're probably the person to share this message rather than
[01:21:56.600 -> 01:22:01.320] us, because the thing that stood out to me most of all was that you listen to High Performance,
[01:22:01.320 -> 01:22:06.040] you also watch High Performance on YouTube, but also you've made a big, big call in the last couple of years
[01:22:06.040 -> 01:22:07.680] and you have a side hustle going on.
[01:22:07.680 -> 01:22:09.000] I do, yes.
[01:22:09.000 -> 01:22:11.040] Yeah, thanks for the kind intro.
[01:22:11.040 -> 01:22:13.000] I suppose it all started.
[01:22:13.000 -> 01:22:14.760] Yeah, I was fortunate enough
[01:22:14.760 -> 01:22:16.840] to spend a little bit of time away
[01:22:16.840 -> 01:22:18.920] and I was on holiday doing the pit stop
[01:22:18.920 -> 01:22:20.360] as you guys would normally call it.
[01:22:20.360 -> 01:22:22.720] That's when I take the chance to reflect
[01:22:22.720 -> 01:22:27.400] and just ask myself some tough questions. Am I doing the right thing? Am I going in the right direction?
[01:22:27.400 -> 01:22:30.920] And whilst I was doing that, I was listening to one of the pods and you
[01:22:30.920 -> 01:22:35.020] were talking about being compassionate and humble. I know that's a message you
[01:22:35.020 -> 01:22:39.520] guys send frequently. So I was just compelled to reach out and say
[01:22:39.520 -> 01:22:44.160] thanks for the pod. It's been a great inspiration to me since it started. And
[01:22:44.160 -> 01:22:46.320] then also recently, because like you
[01:22:46.320 -> 01:22:49.240] said, I've had a side hustle that's now, I've
[01:22:49.240 -> 01:22:52.320] started to take that leap of faith and, and commit
[01:22:52.320 -> 01:22:54.880] to it, which is really exciting, but also quite
[01:22:56.040 -> 01:22:59.040] anxiety producing at the same time, trying my best
[01:22:59.040 -> 01:23:02.520] to enjoy the journey. So it's at the very start of
[01:23:02.520 -> 01:23:07.380] that. I know on the pod, you guys talk about, um, Joseph Campbell and the shape
[01:23:07.380 -> 01:23:09.720] of a hero's journey, and that's close to my heart.
[01:23:10.040 -> 01:23:14.040] So I'm at the beginning of that and I've, um, yeah, close my eyes and, and, and
[01:23:14.520 -> 01:23:15.960] press twist, I suppose.
[01:23:16.460 -> 01:23:19.800] And now I'm on the cusp of getting ready for the, for the messy middle.
[01:23:20.120 -> 01:23:27.000] So yeah, I've left a corporate role with a comfortable salary and, um, yeah, try and see if I can get a tune out of my idea.
[01:23:27.000 -> 01:23:38.000] So tell us about that moment then Matt, because you're presenting that in a really conventional way of like, you've had this idea, you've decided to take the leap, but what you've missed out there is the courage it takes.
[01:23:38.000 -> 01:23:47.360] So what were the kind of questions you asked yourself that then prompted you to take that leap? Yeah, um, lots. I had a big long list on my phone
[01:23:47.360 -> 01:23:50.480] that I think reached into the hundreds and it started with the
[01:23:50.480 -> 01:23:55.520] with usual stuff, uh, which was the safe place. Can I pay my bills? Can I feed my
[01:23:55.520 -> 01:23:58.800] children? All that kind of tour of duty as a father and as a
[01:23:58.800 -> 01:24:02.240] parent. So you started at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
[01:24:02.240 -> 01:24:06.600] Yeah, that's right. Make sure I'm secure and I've got a house and all that good stuff.
[01:24:06.600 -> 01:24:14.160] And as I worked through it, I slowly beginning to convince myself, we always use my place as a father as a bit of a barometer.
[01:24:14.160 -> 01:24:18.360] Would I tell my children to go and chase their dreams and follow their heart?
[01:24:18.360 -> 01:24:21.440] And the answer is yes. And I don't want to be that hypocrite.
[01:24:21.680 -> 01:24:23.600] So that was a, that was a big turning point.
[01:24:23.600 -> 01:24:25.360] But yeah, I covered a lot of ground, whether I should, whether I shouldn't want to be that hypocrite. So that was a, that was a big turning point, but yeah, I covered a lot of ground,
[01:24:25.360 -> 01:24:26.880] whether I should, whether I shouldn't.
[01:24:26.960 -> 01:24:28.820] And, um, the stars aligned.
[01:24:28.820 -> 01:24:31.240] I asked, I spoke to all my friends, my family.
[01:24:31.240 -> 01:24:34.120] I asked a lot of questions to see if there was a, there was enough
[01:24:34.120 -> 01:24:37.200] bite or enough interest, uh, and yeah, wrapped all that.
[01:24:37.760 -> 01:24:41.120] And helping one and, um, yeah, and gave it a go, but it did
[01:24:41.120 -> 01:24:42.240] require a lot of bravery.
[01:24:42.240 -> 01:24:49.920] I'm, um, I, again, I know you guys mentioned this on the past, but big fan of Brene Brown and, and I'm really tuned into the power of, you
[01:24:49.920 -> 01:24:54.360] know, just being vulnerable, exposing yourself and the bravery that it takes. And, but that's
[01:24:54.360 -> 01:24:58.400] where all the joy is. So I'm really bought into that and, yeah, I'm hoping it rings true
[01:24:58.400 -> 01:25:01.480] for me in the coming months and years.
[01:25:01.480 -> 01:25:05.920] Do you remember the, the words or the phrase or the sentence or the conversation
[01:25:05.920 -> 01:25:12.520] that opened your eyes to the power of failure on high performance? Yeah, I did. And, um,
[01:25:12.520 -> 01:25:16.520] you know, I've had an interesting relationship with failure over the years, especially my
[01:25:16.520 -> 01:25:22.600] young years coming out of university and, uh, and how failure was a real, a real tough
[01:25:22.600 -> 01:25:25.760] thing to deal with. It was, you know. It was a bit of a perfectionist.
[01:25:25.760 -> 01:25:27.840] It was almost win at all costs.
[01:25:27.840 -> 01:25:29.960] But the moment you talk about was, yeah,
[01:25:29.960 -> 01:25:31.560] the Johnny Wilkinson episode,
[01:25:31.560 -> 01:25:34.520] and that really kind of knocked me back, really.
[01:25:34.520 -> 01:25:36.160] There was so much that resonated with me
[01:25:36.160 -> 01:25:38.120] with some of the successes I've had,
[01:25:38.120 -> 01:25:41.800] albeit them on a much, much smaller, humbling scale,
[01:25:41.800 -> 01:25:44.000] is that, yeah, sometimes the destination
[01:25:44.000 -> 01:25:46.000] isn't all it's cracked up to be,
[01:25:46.000 -> 01:25:50.960] but it's that process and that, just the way Johnny articulated it really landed with me
[01:25:50.960 -> 01:25:57.440] and that helped me to, I suppose, reframe failure, shortcomings and yeah, over the,
[01:25:57.440 -> 01:26:01.760] something I've battled with for the last five, ten years, but more recently, yeah,
[01:26:01.760 -> 01:26:05.520] I think that episode just allowed me to be a little bit more comfortable
[01:26:05.520 -> 01:26:10.800] with the notion of it and as Johnny had said, sit with the emotion and work through it and
[01:26:10.800 -> 01:26:11.800] there's some gold.
[01:26:11.800 -> 01:26:16.240] I love that. Finally, Matt, are you in a position where you can tell us anything about your
[01:26:16.240 -> 01:26:20.420] side hustle, your new life, the messy middle that you're in at the moment or are you keeping
[01:26:20.420 -> 01:26:22.320] your plans under wraps at the moment?
[01:26:22.320 -> 01:26:25.240] No, I'll happily talk about it, Yeah, it's a, as you quite
[01:26:25.240 -> 01:26:27.440] rightly said, it's quite embryonic. So it's an early part
[01:26:27.440 -> 01:26:31.840] of the journey. But for, for many years, and throughout my
[01:26:31.840 -> 01:26:35.280] career, I've noticed that there's a big focus on kind of,
[01:26:35.360 -> 01:26:37.640] ironically, we were talking about it failures and things
[01:26:37.640 -> 01:26:39.960] that go wrong. And in the business world, you know, we
[01:26:39.960 -> 01:26:42.640] want to try and put a solution to them. But I think there's a
[01:26:42.640 -> 01:26:46.060] huge opportunity to shine a light on some of the great
[01:26:46.060 -> 01:26:49.480] things that go on. And I don't think there's enough of that, uh,
[01:26:49.500 -> 01:26:52.180] especially in the corporate world in marketing and sales.
[01:26:52.540 -> 01:26:55.800] And my new hustle is a platform that allows you to capture that.
[01:26:56.300 -> 01:27:00.500] And then in turn translate it into success stories, sales pitches,
[01:27:00.500 -> 01:27:04.380] account reviews, performance reviews. I'm spending my pennies done.
[01:27:04.420 -> 01:27:09.320] I'm building a platform. I've got clever techie people, much more smarter than me making it real.
[01:27:09.320 -> 01:27:13.700] And yeah, I'm hoping that people will buy the notion of just capturing the really good
[01:27:13.700 -> 01:27:14.780] stuff that goes on.
[01:27:14.780 -> 01:27:20.260] Love it. Well, listen, keep watching us on YouTube on the spin bike, keep checking out
[01:27:20.260 -> 01:27:25.520] the podcast in the mornings and thank you so much Matt for spending time with us. Cheers, ta-ra.
[01:27:28.160 -> 01:27:32.960] So there we go, another episode done. Listen, please, please, please, please, please, please,
[01:27:32.960 -> 01:27:38.480] please rate and subscribe this podcast. It's the greatest way for us to grow our reach and
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[01:27:47.500 -> 01:27:53.320] get so much more from us. Just go to thehighperformancepodcast.com. Thank
[01:27:53.320 -> 01:27:57.480] you so much to Finn, to Hannah, to Will, to Eve, to Gemma, to the entire High
[01:27:57.480 -> 01:28:01.720] Performance team. Huge thanks to Mo as well for coming on and sharing so much
[01:28:01.720 -> 01:28:05.360] with us. Buy his books, check out his podcast,
[01:28:05.360 -> 01:28:08.960] but please remember, you deserve to be happy.
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[01:29:06.680 -> 01:29:09.060] I lost my husband, Bob Saget.
[01:29:09.060 -> 01:29:12.640] And although it was the worst time of my entire life,
[01:29:12.640 -> 01:29:14.780] strangely enough, the conversations that I was having
[01:29:14.780 -> 01:29:17.540] with my friends and family were some of the best.
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