Podcast: The High Performance
Published Date:
Mon, 25 Jul 2022 00:00:03 GMT
Duration:
1:09:58
Explicit:
False
Guests:
MP3 Audio:
Please note that the summary is generated based on the transcript and may not capture all the nuances or details discussed in the podcast episode.
Alan Stein Jr. is a performance coach, speaker and author with a passion for helping others change behaviours. Alan spent 15+ years working with the highest performing basketball players on the planet including NBA superstars Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, and Kobe Bryant. Alan has a masterful ability to translate what he’s learnt from these high performers and provide real value for others with simple, inspiring language.
Alan shares what he's learnt from working with the best how and how they hone their off-court skills and what the rest of us can learn from them and implement immediately. We just know you are going to get so much from this conversation!
Alan’s book, Raise Your Game: High Performance Secrets from the Best of the Best is out now.
- - - - - -
Want more from High Performance? We have launched our brand new premium podcast service 'High Performance Plus' for people who want to support the podcast, listen to ad-free episodes and have access to exclusive bonus content so we can get you even closer to a life of high performance. We'll ask our guests extra questions, just for you and keep recording when the mic stops so you will hear those slightly more intimate conversations at the end of each record. Expect more from Jake and Damian, as they'll be doing regular Q+As and bring you behind the scenes gems that you wouldn't normally get. We hope you love the extra content. Remember, there is no secret. It is all there for you. So chase world class basics. Don't get high on your own supply. Remain humble, curious and empathetic. Sign up: apple.co/highperformance or https://highperformanceplus.supercast.com/
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**Navigating the High Performance Series: A Comprehensive Guide to Personal and Professional Excellence**
**Episode Overview:**
In this episode of the High Performance Podcast, Jake Humphrey and Professor Damian Hughes engage in a captivating conversation with Alan Stein Jr., a renowned performance coach, speaker, and author. Alan shares his insights on achieving high performance, emphasizing the significance of consistency, embracing basic principles, and setting meaningful goals.
**Key Insights:**
1. **The Essence of High Performance:**
- High performance is defined as consistently performing at one's best, aiming to be the best one can be rather than striving to be the absolute best.
- Consistency is a crucial ingredient for high performance, requiring individuals to show up and meet their standards in every aspect of their lives.
2. **The Power of Basics:**
- The best performers never get bored with the basics, recognizing that mastering fundamental principles is essential for long-term success.
- Basic principles are not necessarily easy, but they are simple to understand and can be applied in various contexts.
- Society often encourages skipping steps and pursuing shortcuts, leading individuals to overlook the importance of mastering the basics.
3. **The Importance of Non-Negotiables:**
- Establishing non-negotiable standards and routines helps individuals maintain consistency and achieve high performance.
- Non-negotiables can include habits, behaviors, and principles that align with one's values and goals.
- Alan's non-negotiables for his children focus on respect, honesty, and taking ownership of their actions.
4. **Learning from Elite Athletes:**
- Kobe Bryant's dedication to mastering the basics, even during mundane drills, exemplifies the importance of unwavering commitment to fundamentals.
- Steph Curry's relentless pursuit of perfection, demonstrated by his routine of swishing five free throws in a row before leaving the gym, highlights the significance of setting high standards.
- Kevin Durant's focus on daily habits and contributions to his team, rather than solely fixating on the championship goal, underscores the value of the process over outcomes.
5. **The GPS Analogy for Goal Setting:**
- Effective goal setting requires knowing one's current position and having a clear destination or North Star.
- The process of achieving goals involves daily habits and behaviors that incrementally move individuals closer to their objectives.
- Just as a GPS recalculates routes based on changes, individuals need to recalibrate their goals and strategies as they progress.
6. **The Brick Wall Analogy for Achieving Success:**
- Building a brick wall serves as a metaphor for achieving success, emphasizing the importance of focusing on each step rather than the overall outcome.
- By laying each brick carefully and precisely, individuals can ensure the stability and integrity of the entire wall.
**Conclusion:**
Alan Stein Jr.'s insights on high performance provide valuable lessons for individuals seeking to excel in their personal and professional lives. By embracing consistency, mastering the basics, setting meaningful goals, and focusing on the process, listeners can unlock their full potential and achieve lasting success.
## Podcast Episode Summary:
### Key Insights:
- **Outcome vs. Process:** Strive for the process and the outcomes will follow. Don't let the pursuit of outcomes overshadow the journey.
- **Love the Climb:** Learn to appreciate the pursuit, the work, and the daily habits that lead to progress. True happiness lies in the climb, not just the summit.
- **Patience is Key:** Progress takes time. Develop patience by recognizing when you're being impatient and shifting your focus to the process.
- **Practice Self-Compassion:** Speak to yourself with the same kindness and empathy you would offer a loved one. Forgive yourself for mistakes and learn from them.
- **Create a Culture of Psychological Safety:** Foster a culture where team members feel safe to take risks, share ideas, and learn from mistakes.
- **Align Beliefs and Behaviors:** Ensure that the team's core values and beliefs are reflected in their daily actions and behaviors.
- **Lead by Example:** Model the behaviors you expect from your team. Hold yourself and others accountable for upholding the team's values.
- **Stay Connected to Purpose:** Help team members understand how their work contributes to a larger purpose and makes a difference in people's lives.
- **Preparation and Presence:** Before a presentation or performance, focus on preparation, presence, personality, and poise. Be fully present and in service to the audience.
- **Embrace Failure:** Accept that setbacks and failures are part of life. Learn from mistakes and move on quickly, without letting them define you.
### Notable Quotes:
- "I think as soon as we can explain that [delaying happiness] is just delaying happiness and guess what? If you're going to delay your happiness until you get to that moment, you need to be absolutely sure that the view is worth the climb. Otherwise, you're going to be highly disappointed when you get there." - Alan Stein Jr.
- "I'm a huge believer that if you're setting these North Stars and these goals appropriately, and you're setting them so they challenge you and they stretch you, you don't accomplish every one of them. I think I could make a pretty compelling argument that anyone listening, if you reach every one of your goals, then you didn't set high enough goals." - Alan Stein Jr.
- "I'm not anywhere as patient as I'm capable of, nor am I as patient as I hope to be at some point, but I'm definitely more patient than I was a year ago, five years ago, 10 years ago. And it simply takes practice, but it also takes awareness." - Alan Stein Jr.
- "You know, you'll never improve something you're unaware of, you will never fix something you're oblivious to." - Alan Stein Jr.
- "Most of the high performers that I've had a chance to get to know and be around are very critical of themselves. They hold themselves oftentimes to an unachievable standard and when they fall short of that they pile on with shame and guilt and beat themselves up now." - Damian Hughes
- "You know, so when I make mistakes, and you know, at the time of this recording, it's just a little bit after lunchtime, East Coast time here in the States, I've probably made 10 mistakes already today. And that's okay, that's on par. That's, you know, like I said, I don't worry about perfection." - Alan Stein Jr.
- "Culture is one of my favorite things to talk about. And I know that it's somewhat of a buzzword. People talk all the time about culture and they never really define it. I'm a believer that your culture is how well aligned your beliefs and your behaviors are." - Alan Stein Jr.
- "So the way you described that relationship there and that kind of language and conversation leads us into the area of culture. So you've been in the locker rooms of these high performing environments and I'm interested in how leaders within those environments create that culture of psychological safety, compassion, empathy, and understanding that is the building blocks of high performance." - Jake Humphrey
- "One of my core beliefs in life is that a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle." - Alan Stein Jr.
- "I like to say, and this is something else I had mentored to me, making preparation my separation." - Alan Stein Jr.
- "And those little, that little mantra that I say to myself in advance just reminds me that's why I'm there." - Alan Stein Jr.
- "One, if I'm in the present moment and I'm not bringing baggage from the past and I'm not anxious about what may or what may not happen in the future, I can just be present, then I'm able to handle those things as they come." - Alan Stein Jr.
# Episode Summary: Alan Stein Jr. - High Performance Secrets from the Best
**Introduction:**
- Alan Stein Jr. is a performance coach, speaker, and author with a passion for helping others change behaviors.
- Alan spent 15+ years working with the highest-performing basketball players, including NBA superstars Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, and Kobe Bryant.
- His book, "Raise Your Game: High-Performance Secrets from the Best of the Best," is out now.
**Key Insights:**
1. **Prepare for the Unexpected:**
- Have a contingency plan for potential disruptions to avoid getting thrown off your game.
- Detach negative connotations from unexpected events.
- Adopt a neutral and sterile worldview to respond to challenges with agility and nimbleness.
2. **Pre-Mortems for Risk Mitigation:**
- Conduct pre-mortems to identify potential obstacles and develop strategies to overcome them.
- This proactive approach helps you stay prepared and minimize the impact of unexpected events.
3. **Embrace a Growth Mindset:**
- Seek out constructive criticism and feedback to identify areas for improvement.
- View challenges as opportunities for growth and learning.
- Embrace the mindset that "if you're not agile, you're fragile" to maintain resilience and adaptability.
4. **Clarity of Purpose and Alignment:**
- Define the person you strive to become in the future and make decisions that align with that vision.
- Regularly assess whether your actions are taking you closer to or further away from your desired future self.
- This clarity of purpose leads to a more fulfilling and high-performance life.
5. **The Power of Positivity:**
- Cultivate a positive mindset and focus on the good things in life.
- Surround yourself with positive influences and avoid negativity.
- Remember that "a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle." Spread positivity and inspiration to uplift others.
**Conclusion:**
- Alan Stein Jr. emphasizes the importance of mental agility, resilience, and a positive mindset for achieving high performance.
- By preparing for the unexpected, embracing challenges, and aligning actions with long-term goals, individuals can unlock their full potential and thrive in various aspects of life.
**Introduction to Alan Stein Jr. and His Expertise**
- Alan Stein Jr. is a renowned performance coach, speaker, and author dedicated to empowering individuals to transform their behaviors and achieve peak performance.
- With over 15 years of experience working with elite basketball players, including NBA superstars like Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, and Kobe Bryant, Alan possesses a deep understanding of the strategies and techniques employed by top performers.
- His expertise lies in translating these insights into actionable advice and simple, inspiring language that resonates with a wide audience.
**Unveiling the Secrets of High Performers**
- Alan sheds light on the off-court skills and habits that set high performers apart, emphasizing the importance of continuous learning, relentless work ethic, and unwavering focus.
- He delves into the mindset and approach of these individuals, highlighting their ability to stay grounded, embrace challenges, and maintain a positive outlook even in the face of adversity.
**Practical Lessons for Personal and Professional Growth**
- Alan's insights offer valuable lessons for individuals seeking to elevate their performance in various aspects of life, whether it's sports, business, or personal development.
- He emphasizes the significance of setting clear goals, developing a growth mindset, and cultivating resilience in the pursuit of excellence.
**Key Takeaways and Actionable Strategies**
- Alan's book, "Raise Your Game: High-Performance Secrets from the Best of the Best," provides a comprehensive guide to implementing the strategies and techniques discussed in the podcast.
- He encourages listeners to embrace the concept of "world-class basics," focusing on the fundamentals and consistently honing their skills to achieve mastery.
- Alan stresses the importance of remaining humble, curious, and empathetic, recognizing that continuous learning and a willingness to adapt are essential for sustained success.
**Additional Resources and Engagement Opportunities**
- The podcast offers a premium subscription service called "High Performance Plus," which provides ad-free episodes, exclusive bonus content, and behind-the-scenes insights.
- Listeners are encouraged to engage with the podcast through social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and Telegram, where they can access additional content and participate in discussions.
[00:00.000 -> 00:05.560] Hey there, I'm Jake Humphrey. Welcome once again to High Performance. This is our gift
[00:05.560 -> 00:12.560] to you for free every single week. This is the podcast that reminds you that it's within
[00:12.560 -> 00:18.720] your ambition, your purpose, your story. It's within. We just help you unlock it by turning
[00:18.720 -> 00:23.360] the lived experiences of the planet's highest performers into your life lessons. So right
[00:23.360 -> 00:25.200] now allow myself and my
[00:25.200 -> 00:29.680] awesome co-host Professor Damien Hughes to speak to the greatest leaders, thinkers,
[00:29.680 -> 00:34.480] sports stars and entrepreneurs on the planet so they can be your teacher. And we always say at
[00:34.480 -> 00:39.440] the beginning of these episodes that this is about us taking other people's life lessons and passing
[00:39.440 -> 00:46.560] them on to you. Well we're joined on this episode by a guest who has spent his life surrounded by elite sporting royalty
[00:46.560 -> 00:48.600] But this isn't a conversation about sport
[00:48.740 -> 00:53.940] This podcast is not even really a conversation about high achievement or high success
[00:54.280 -> 00:57.180] This actually is a conversation about high happiness
[00:57.180 -> 01:02.760] I want you to finish this episode today and I want your self-worth to be higher today
[01:03.180 -> 01:05.360] This is what you're going to hear
[01:06.800 -> 01:07.600] on the High Performance Podcast.
[01:09.760 -> 01:11.120] I learned one of the most powerful lessons that I've ever learned in my life
[01:11.120 -> 01:12.560] when I watched Kobe Bryant
[01:12.560 -> 01:14.480] do a really early morning workout
[01:14.480 -> 01:17.520] and that is the best never get bored with the basics.
[01:18.560 -> 01:20.160] We happen to live in a world
[01:20.160 -> 01:22.560] and it doesn't matter where on the globe you live
[01:22.560 -> 01:26.040] but society unconsciously tells us
[01:26.040 -> 01:28.000] that it's okay to skip steps.
[01:28.000 -> 01:29.760] Tells us we should always be looking
[01:29.760 -> 01:31.480] for a shortcut or a hack,
[01:31.480 -> 01:33.800] and tells us we should constantly be chasing
[01:33.800 -> 01:36.200] and in pursuit of what's new and what's shiny
[01:36.200 -> 01:37.400] and what's flashy.
[01:37.400 -> 01:39.440] And I'm a believer that doing those things
[01:39.440 -> 01:41.560] is taking a step in the wrong direction,
[01:41.560 -> 01:43.360] and that is because the basics work.
[01:44.720 -> 01:45.180] You need to
[01:45.180 -> 01:48.640] consistently show up in every area of your life. You know the highest
[01:48.640 -> 01:52.700] performers that I've been around they didn't pick and choose when to be
[01:52.700 -> 01:58.300] excellent or when to meet their standards they did it in everything.
[01:58.300 -> 02:01.740] You know what one of the things I love about Alan, Alan Stein jr. who's the guy
[02:01.740 -> 02:08.000] you're going to hear from today is his energy. Now you might not have heard of this guy, but he has spent his life working with the
[02:08.000 -> 02:09.000] best.
[02:09.000 -> 02:10.920] And that's like, that's cool in itself, right?
[02:10.920 -> 02:14.080] You know, he's basically spent his life around NBA stars.
[02:14.080 -> 02:20.040] So we're talking about the likes of Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, and Kobe Bryant.
[02:20.040 -> 02:22.580] And it's all very well spending time with those people.
[02:22.580 -> 02:26.000] But when you have a real value to others, it's the ability to translate
[02:26.000 -> 02:28.000] what you've learned from those people
[02:28.000 -> 02:32.200] and talk about it in simple, plain, inspiring language.
[02:32.200 -> 02:33.520] And that's exactly what Alan does.
[02:33.520 -> 02:36.400] I mean, he is a master storyteller.
[02:36.400 -> 02:38.180] He's an author, you can find his books.
[02:38.180 -> 02:40.100] In fact, we've put a link in the description
[02:40.100 -> 02:42.600] to this podcast so you can get hold of his books.
[02:42.600 -> 02:43.880] He's a keynote speaker.
[02:43.880 -> 02:45.960] But the biggest thing with Alan
[02:45.960 -> 02:49.060] is that he translates sport to life.
[02:49.060 -> 02:51.140] And I know that whether you love or hate sport,
[02:51.140 -> 02:53.440] whether you understand or don't understand NBA,
[02:53.440 -> 02:55.960] you just got to stick with this for the next hour or so,
[02:55.960 -> 02:58.360] and you will leave it a better person.
[02:58.360 -> 02:59.760] That's my promise to you.
[02:59.760 -> 03:03.840] So please enjoy the energy, enjoy the conversation,
[03:03.840 -> 03:07.480] and enjoy this episode of the high performance
[03:07.480 -> 03:18.180] podcast with sports coach and all-round inspiring author and speaker, Alan Stein Jr.
[03:18.180 -> 03:23.480] As a person with a very deep voice, I'm hired all the time for advertising campaigns, but
[03:23.480 -> 03:25.680] a deep voice doesn't sell B2B and advertising But a deep voice doesn't sell B2B.
[03:25.680 -> 03:29.200] And advertising on the wrong platform doesn't sell B2B either.
[03:29.200 -> 03:33.280] That's why if you're a B2B marketer, you should use LinkedIn ads.
[03:33.280 -> 03:37.240] LinkedIn has the targeting capabilities to help you reach the world's largest professional
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[03:38.240 -> 03:39.240] That's right.
[03:39.240 -> 03:42.280] Over 70 million decision makers all in one place.
[03:42.280 -> 03:44.840] All the big wigs, then medium wigs.
[03:44.840 -> 03:46.240] Also small wigs who are on the path
[03:46.240 -> 03:51.440] to becoming big wigs. Okay, that's enough about wigs. LinkedIn ads allows you to focus on getting
[03:51.440 -> 03:57.120] your B2B message to the right people. So, does that mean you should use ads on LinkedIn instead
[03:57.120 -> 04:05.880] of hiring me, the man with the deepest voice in the world? Yes, yes it does. Get started today and see why LinkedIn is the place to be,
[04:05.880 -> 04:10.800] to be. We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Go to
[04:10.800 -> 04:15.640] LinkedIn.com slash results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com slash results.
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[06:00.840 -> 06:03.840] Thank you so much for joining us on the High Performance Podcast. It's fair to say that
[06:03.840 -> 06:09.240] Damien and I are both psyched and excited about this. And before I start, actually,
[06:09.240 -> 06:12.960] if you're listening to this podcast, maybe now might be the perfect moment to just turn
[06:12.960 -> 06:18.680] it off. Go to YouTube and watch on YouTube because behind Alan is all the people he's
[06:18.680 -> 06:22.620] worked with. He's got like the coolest photos behind him. Maybe we should talk about those
[06:22.620 -> 06:28.540] in a bit. But before we talk about those photos, let's go straight into the heart of the conversation. After the people you've
[06:28.540 -> 06:32.520] worked with, the life you've lived, the successes that you've enjoyed, the failures that you've
[06:32.520 -> 06:36.360] endured, what is high performance?
[06:36.360 -> 06:41.540] At its core, high performance is focusing on being the best that you're capable of as
[06:41.540 -> 06:45.720] consistently as you're capable of. And I know there's two different lenses
[06:45.720 -> 06:47.600] at which we can look through.
[06:47.600 -> 06:50.080] You have some folks, Kobe Bryant being one
[06:50.080 -> 06:53.880] that I certainly knew, whose goal was to be the best.
[06:53.880 -> 06:55.240] And then you have another school of thought,
[06:55.240 -> 06:58.800] which I actually ascribe to, which is simply being my best.
[06:58.800 -> 07:02.840] And many times those things, you know, they can coexist.
[07:02.840 -> 07:04.840] But for me, high performance is about doing
[07:04.840 -> 07:05.240] the best you're
[07:05.240 -> 07:08.080] capable of as consistently as you can.
[07:08.080 -> 07:13.920] How important then in that list is consistency because it isn't cool. It isn't sexy. It isn't
[07:13.920 -> 07:18.920] going to deliver instant results. But we believe on this podcast that if we can explain the
[07:18.920 -> 07:22.280] power of consistency to people, we are doing a good service by them.
[07:22.280 -> 07:27.040] Oh, absolutely. You know, I believe there's three ingredients to performing at a high level.
[07:27.040 -> 07:32.000] You have to work hard, you have to work smart, but you have to do those two things consistently.
[07:32.000 -> 07:35.440] And that's why consistent is kind of the third leg to that stool.
[07:35.440 -> 07:38.120] And everybody's heard that you have to work hard.
[07:38.120 -> 07:41.400] We've all been taught that since we were really little, and everybody knows that you need
[07:41.400 -> 07:44.500] to work smart, that you're doing the right things in the right way.
[07:44.500 -> 07:45.900] But if you do those two things,
[07:45.900 -> 07:47.960] but you don't do them consistently,
[07:47.960 -> 07:49.880] if you only do them when you feel like it,
[07:49.880 -> 07:51.960] or when it's convenient in your life,
[07:51.960 -> 07:53.480] then you have very little chance
[07:53.480 -> 07:54.980] of reaching high performance.
[07:54.980 -> 07:58.500] So yeah, the consistency piece is undervalued
[07:58.500 -> 08:01.040] and underrated when it should be the opposite.
[08:01.040 -> 08:02.000] But why though?
[08:02.000 -> 08:05.920] Why is the consistency actually the secret sauce here?
[08:05.920 -> 08:09.840] Well, two thoughts come to mind. One, and I know some people do not agree with this belief,
[08:09.840 -> 08:15.280] but I absolutely believe that how you do anything is how you do everything. So, you need to
[08:15.280 -> 08:19.680] consistently show up in every area of your life. You know, the highest performers that I've been
[08:19.680 -> 08:29.720] around, they didn't pick and choose when to be excellent or when to meet their standards. They did it in everything, you know. So I know in my own life, you
[08:29.720 -> 08:33.520] know, I aim for high performance as a father. I aim for high performance as a
[08:33.520 -> 08:37.960] speaker, as an author, as a business owner, as a friend, as a member of my community.
[08:37.960 -> 08:41.760] It's not something that I aim to pick and choose. And then the second portion
[08:41.760 -> 08:49.600] is, I've always been a huge believer that the only way you get good at anything is through purposeful practice and repetition. You know, repetition
[08:49.600 -> 08:53.600] is the oldest and most effective form of learning on the planet, and I don't think that's ever
[08:53.600 -> 08:58.660] going to change. So the consistency comes into the fact that every single day presents
[08:58.660 -> 09:04.640] us with opportunities to get in reps, to practice reps at whatever it is that we're trying to
[09:04.640 -> 09:05.560] work at. So can I jump in there, Alan, and ask whatever it is that we're trying to work at.
[09:05.560 -> 09:07.000] So can I jump in there, Alan,
[09:07.000 -> 09:09.240] and ask you about one of those roles that you described,
[09:09.240 -> 09:11.120] which is being a father.
[09:11.120 -> 09:14.120] Cause I saw the post that you'd put on Instagram about,
[09:14.120 -> 09:16.320] we'll come back to non-negotiables in a while,
[09:16.320 -> 09:18.320] but your non-negotiable rules for your kids
[09:18.320 -> 09:20.640] were about being respectful, being honest.
[09:20.640 -> 09:22.680] And the third one, which really jumps out for me,
[09:22.680 -> 09:24.880] was taking ownership.
[09:24.880 -> 09:25.000] Would you tell us a little bit about them? and honest. And the third one, which really jumps out for me was taking ownership. Would
[09:25.000 -> 09:26.840] you tell us a little bit about them?
[09:26.840 -> 09:30.200] Jon Moffitt Sure. Well, I try not to put myself in a
[09:30.200 -> 09:34.560] box or confine myself with labels, but traditionally speaking, if you were to look at all of the
[09:34.560 -> 09:39.760] hats that I wear, the one I'm most proudest of and take the most seriously is that of
[09:39.760 -> 09:50.000] a father. I have 12 year old twin sons and a 10 year old daughter. I'm very amicably divorced, so I've also learned how to navigate divorce and co-parent effectively with my ex-wife.
[09:50.000 -> 09:52.000] And we actually are pretty good friends to this day.
[09:52.000 -> 10:01.000] But yeah, my ability to coach, to teach, to mentor, to pour into my own children is always number one on my priority list.
[10:01.000 -> 10:08.640] And I'm a big believer that if my children can navigate life being respectful, respectful of themselves, respectful of
[10:08.640 -> 10:12.840] others, respectful of the environment, you know, if they can be honest and truthful
[10:12.840 -> 10:16.940] and authentic and genuine but I also want to teach them as you just said and
[10:16.940 -> 10:21.480] I appreciate you highlighting that to hold themselves accountable for every
[10:21.480 -> 10:28.800] decision that they make. You know, as the famous Navy SEAL Jocko Willink says, have an attitude of extreme ownership. And I teach my
[10:28.800 -> 10:32.560] children that they do not control the vast majority of things that go on in
[10:32.560 -> 10:36.800] the world, but they absolutely control their response to those things and they
[10:36.800 -> 10:40.460] always need to hold themselves accountable to whatever response they
[10:40.460 -> 10:47.120] choose. So how common is those, are those same principles that you've seen in
[10:47.120 -> 10:52.540] your world in elite sport and elite business? You know, that's one of my favorite parts
[10:52.540 -> 10:58.220] about my work is, is that these principles and standards and routines and disciplines
[10:58.220 -> 11:03.520] and mindsets have such high utility. You know, we can actually have a shorter conversation
[11:03.520 -> 11:08.680] if we talked about the differences between basketball and business because most of those
[11:08.680 -> 11:13.520] qualities transfer. Now, they don't transfer in the exact same way. There's
[11:13.520 -> 11:18.320] certainly some nuances, but if anybody listening to this right now does not
[11:18.320 -> 11:21.840] love basketball as much as I do and maybe you've never even heard of Kevin
[11:21.840 -> 11:29.580] Durant or Stephen Curry or Kobe Bryant, that's okay. You can still learn how to apply the same lessons that those guys have taught me.
[11:29.580 -> 11:35.140] And that's ultimately what it's about. Anytime we read, watch or listen to anything, especially
[11:35.140 -> 11:40.720] a wonderful podcast like you guys have, we should find the principles and standards with
[11:40.720 -> 11:46.480] the highest utility and then figure out how we can apply those to our lives and in our specific situation.
[11:46.480 -> 11:51.360] So, you know, I'd like to do, you've mentioned three stunning names there, Steph Curry, Karen
[11:51.360 -> 11:56.720] Gerrant and Kobe Bryant. Could we go through those three names? Would you be happy to share
[11:56.720 -> 12:01.920] with us the single greatest bit of learning that they imparted on you? And then the three
[12:01.920 -> 12:10.120] of us can just delve deep on those. Absolutely. Well, I had a chance to meet Kobe Bryant back in 2007. Nike actually brought
[12:10.120 -> 12:14.480] me out to Los Angeles to work the first ever Kobe Bryant Skills Academy. And I learned
[12:14.480 -> 12:18.600] one of the most powerful lessons that I've ever learned in my life when I watched Kobe
[12:18.600 -> 12:23.320] Bryant do a really early morning workout. And that is the best never get bored with
[12:23.320 -> 12:29.240] the basics. After watching him do some really basic footwork drills you know I went up to him and said Kobe you
[12:29.240 -> 12:33.280] know you're the best player in the world why are you doing such basic drills and
[12:33.280 -> 12:37.920] he smiled and winked but he said in a very serious tone I'm the best in the
[12:37.920 -> 12:41.640] world because I don't get bored with the basics and that was a life-changing
[12:41.640 -> 12:45.520] moment for me because in that moment I realized that just
[12:45.520 -> 12:50.560] because something is basic in principle doesn't mean that it's easy to execute. You know,
[12:50.560 -> 12:54.640] just because something is simple in theory doesn't mean that it's actually easy to do.
[12:54.640 -> 13:00.240] Many people often confuse basic and easy as being synonyms and they use those words interchangeably,
[13:00.240 -> 13:02.100] but they don't mean the same thing.
[13:02.100 -> 13:06.000] So make the distinction for us, Alan. Just give us a distinction between the two then.
[13:06.000 -> 13:08.320] The principles of high performance,
[13:08.320 -> 13:11.600] what it takes to perform at your highest level in any area
[13:11.600 -> 13:13.520] are very basic principles.
[13:13.520 -> 13:15.280] And I know they're basic for two reasons.
[13:15.280 -> 13:17.680] One, I've been able to conceptually explain them
[13:17.680 -> 13:18.720] to my own children,
[13:18.720 -> 13:20.720] even when they were younger than they are now,
[13:20.720 -> 13:23.200] and they completely understood and followed along.
[13:23.200 -> 13:24.960] And I'm on stages all over the world
[13:24.960 -> 13:26.200] sharing this information
[13:26.400 -> 13:27.840] and not once have I ever shared
[13:27.840 -> 13:29.080] it and seen anyone in the
[13:29.080 -> 13:30.980] audience's head explode because
[13:30.980 -> 13:32.300] of mere confusion like they
[13:32.300 -> 13:32.920] couldn't follow.
[13:33.160 -> 13:34.760] The stuff I'm sharing is so
[13:34.760 -> 13:35.200] basic.
[13:35.600 -> 13:36.880] However and this is such an
[13:36.880 -> 13:37.760] important disclaimer.
[13:38.160 -> 13:39.800] It is not easy to do.
[13:40.200 -> 13:42.360] If it was easy everyone
[13:42.360 -> 13:43.320] else would be doing it.
[13:43.560 -> 13:46.000] If it was easy the principles of high performance would it. If it was easy, the principles of high performance
[13:46.000 -> 13:48.320] would be the norm, they wouldn't be the exception.
[13:48.320 -> 13:51.880] And I'm also of the belief that we happen to live in a world
[13:51.880 -> 13:54.280] and it doesn't matter where on the globe you live,
[13:54.280 -> 13:57.620] but society unconsciously tells us
[13:57.620 -> 13:59.600] that it's okay to skip steps.
[13:59.600 -> 14:02.280] Tells us we should always be looking for a shortcut
[14:02.280 -> 14:09.440] or a hack and tells us we should constantly be chasing and in pursuit of what's new and what's shiny and what's flashy. And I'm a
[14:09.440 -> 14:13.640] believer that doing those things is taking a step in the wrong direction. And that is
[14:13.640 -> 14:18.000] because the basics work. They always have and they always will. And your mastery of
[14:18.000 -> 14:23.440] the basic fundamentals and your commitment to them during the unseen hours is what ultimately
[14:23.440 -> 14:27.320] determines how well you perform in any area of life.
[14:27.320 -> 14:30.240] This absolutely plays into what we believe on the podcast.
[14:30.240 -> 14:36.000] We sell t-shirts on our store with world-class basics written on them.
[14:36.000 -> 14:41.080] Now where we differ though is that I actually think they are easy.
[14:41.080 -> 14:46.780] What I think is that people don't know that world class basics will get them to high
[14:46.780 -> 14:51.140] performance. I think that people are walking around and almost, we say this quite often
[14:51.140 -> 14:56.140] now and I'm like, have we called this podcast the wrong name? Because even my sister said
[14:56.140 -> 14:59.180] to me the other day, she goes, yeah, but your podcast, high performance, I think that alienates
[14:59.180 -> 15:03.920] people because not everyone can be high performance. And I'm like, no, Rachel, you don't understand.
[15:03.920 -> 15:08.460] Everyone can be their own version of high performance. And all we're saying is be your own version
[15:08.460 -> 15:13.460] of high performance. And there's an algorithm. And actually part of that algorithm is getting
[15:13.460 -> 15:17.060] out of bed at a time, which is half an hour before everyone else in the house. So you
[15:17.060 -> 15:21.520] can centre yourself and think about your day. It's at the end of the day, reflecting on
[15:21.520 -> 15:24.680] the things that you could have done better. It's having those difficult conversations
[15:24.680 -> 15:27.600] that you don't really want to have, but are really good for you to have. It's
[15:27.600 -> 15:31.600] empathising with people, taking responsibility for other people's actions and behaviours.
[15:32.320 -> 15:36.560] And I don't know what you think, but I actually think they're easy. I just think people don't know
[15:37.360 -> 15:40.480] that it's the basics that creates the high performance. Do you see what I mean?
[15:41.200 -> 15:47.840] I do. And I'm so glad you went in that direction. And I love your perspective and your connotation of that.
[15:47.840 -> 15:51.800] I think what makes it challenging or less easy
[15:51.800 -> 15:55.440] is this temptation unconsciously from society
[15:55.440 -> 15:59.760] that keeps urging us to look past the basics.
[15:59.760 -> 16:02.120] Everywhere we go, you log on to social media,
[16:02.120 -> 16:10.060] you read any book or watch any video by a proclaimed guru, and they're always trying to sell you something other than the basics.
[16:10.060 -> 16:15.140] And I do believe that it's a human tendency to be alert by that temptation and want to
[16:15.140 -> 16:17.560] skip the basics. That's what makes it challenging.
[16:17.560 -> 16:20.820] Because they can't make money from the basics. There's no money to be made. Like when we
[16:20.820 -> 16:25.080] say this on the podcast, this doesn't earn us any money because, you know,
[16:25.080 -> 16:26.800] we're not selling, Oh, hey, guess what?
[16:26.800 -> 16:28.320] Buy the high performance mindset.
[16:28.320 -> 16:32.200] But it's like, we're just saying, like, do simple stuff well.
[16:32.200 -> 16:33.200] And I'm with you.
[16:33.200 -> 16:37.800] You know, Jim Rohn used to say something to the effect of, you know, find a way to make
[16:37.800 -> 16:41.920] it easy to do the things other people make it easy not to do.
[16:41.920 -> 16:42.920] And I live by that.
[16:42.920 -> 16:43.920] And I love that.
[16:43.920 -> 16:44.920] And I'm with you.
[16:44.920 -> 16:46.240] You know, the basic principles I live by,
[16:46.240 -> 16:48.800] I live in such a flow and harmony in my life,
[16:48.800 -> 16:51.200] these things are second nature and they're rather easy.
[16:51.200 -> 16:53.540] But it also goes back to what we said
[16:53.540 -> 16:56.520] in the beginning of this conversation about consistency
[16:56.520 -> 17:00.160] and the ability to make investments every single day
[17:00.160 -> 17:02.320] in your life towards doing these things.
[17:02.320 -> 17:03.920] Using basketball as an example,
[17:03.920 -> 17:08.720] and I know we'll get to stories about KD and Steph Curry, but at the time of this recording, you know, the
[17:08.720 -> 17:13.480] NBA playoffs are going on. Steph Curry and the Golden State Warriors are doing really,
[17:13.480 -> 17:18.680] really well. If I were to turn on the Warriors game tonight and watch Steph go crazy, he
[17:18.680 -> 17:30.000] knocks down 12 threes, he scores 55 points, makes some unbelievable highlight moves. The average younger player wants to immediately go out to the court and emulate what they
[17:30.000 -> 17:32.500] just saw Steph Curry do.
[17:32.500 -> 17:38.740] The problem with that is they're skipping over, in his case, decades of practice that
[17:38.740 -> 17:40.500] allowed him to be able to do it.
[17:40.500 -> 17:44.580] They want to skip steps and jump right to his ability to dribble between his legs three
[17:44.580 -> 17:49.000] times, shoot a fadeaway three-pointer. What they don't understand is for the last
[17:49.000 -> 17:53.880] 25 years of his life, he has committed to mastery of the basic fundamentals during the
[17:53.880 -> 17:59.080] unseen hours, and he has progressively built upon that to the point that he can now make
[17:59.080 -> 18:03.920] that shot. That's the other reason that I don't think people tend to believe that it's
[18:03.920 -> 18:09.440] easy, because they want that outcome right now. They don't want to wait. I have to, I have to work on
[18:09.440 -> 18:14.720] my game for 20 years every day and make millions of shots in order to do that. I don't want
[18:14.720 -> 18:19.800] to do all of that. I just want to be able to make that shot now. And to me that, that
[18:19.800 -> 18:26.720] urgency and that, you know, feeling compelled to outcomes is what makes it, I guess, not as easy as
[18:26.720 -> 18:28.840] you and I may think it can be.
[18:28.840 -> 18:33.640] What you're saying is it's sort of sparking off so many light bulbs that in the course
[18:33.640 -> 18:38.960] of the series that we've done, we've interviewed Sir Chris Hoy, who's like a British superhero
[18:38.960 -> 18:43.680] cyclist there that when we first met him, he turned up 10 minutes early for our interview
[18:43.680 -> 18:45.000] and couldn't understand why we were grateful that he showed up 10 minutes early for our interview and couldn't understand
[18:45.000 -> 18:46.600] why we were grateful that he showed up.
[18:46.600 -> 18:47.680] It was like, just what I do.
[18:47.680 -> 18:50.360] And we interviewed Glenn Hoddle,
[18:50.360 -> 18:53.360] a former England national football coach,
[18:53.360 -> 18:55.360] who spoke about the endless repetition
[18:55.360 -> 18:57.720] of just passing a ball against the wall.
[18:57.720 -> 18:59.520] So can you give us some examples
[18:59.520 -> 19:02.400] of what these brilliant basics are
[19:02.400 -> 19:04.520] that these high performers commit to
[19:04.520 -> 19:05.680] that anyone listening
[19:05.680 -> 19:11.200] to this could go, well, I could do that. That's within my gift. Absolutely. Well, I mentioned a
[19:11.200 -> 19:17.200] moment ago that in 2007, I worked the first Kobe Bryant Skills Academy. What I didn't mention was
[19:17.840 -> 19:22.640] Steph Curry was actually one of the college counselors there. Now, this was before Steph
[19:22.640 -> 19:26.000] Curry became the Steph Curry that the rest of the world knows about.
[19:26.000 -> 19:30.000] This is before he blew up at Davidson in the NCAA tournament.
[19:30.000 -> 19:33.000] And he didn't have the physical stature or the resume
[19:33.000 -> 19:35.000] of all of the other college counselors.
[19:35.000 -> 19:37.000] He was kind of allowed to come to the camp
[19:37.000 -> 19:40.000] because his dad played in the NBA and knew some folks.
[19:40.000 -> 19:43.000] But we could all, as coaches, could tell immediately
[19:43.000 -> 19:49.440] there was something really different about this kid, and it was palpable. And the most impressive of those traits was
[19:49.440 -> 19:54.080] at the end of the first workout, he and I had not even been formally introduced, but he came over
[19:54.080 -> 19:58.000] and he tapped on my shoulder and he said, coach, will you rebound for me because I don't leave the
[19:58.000 -> 20:04.080] gym until I swish five fritos in a row. Now, for any of your listeners that have never shot
[20:04.080 -> 20:05.500] a basketball themselves,
[20:05.500 -> 20:07.980] let me just tell you, that is a very high standard.
[20:07.980 -> 20:11.300] A swish by definition is the perfect shot.
[20:11.300 -> 20:13.700] It doesn't touch the rim, it doesn't touch the backboard,
[20:13.700 -> 20:15.420] it gets its name from the sound it makes
[20:15.420 -> 20:16.700] by going nothing but net.
[20:16.700 -> 20:19.220] And this young man was not going to leave the gym
[20:19.220 -> 20:22.140] after a grueling two and a half hour workout
[20:22.140 -> 20:25.420] until he made five perfect shots in a row,
[20:25.420 -> 20:27.780] which means he could have swished four in a row,
[20:27.780 -> 20:30.060] hit a little bit of the rim on the fifth one,
[20:30.060 -> 20:32.800] it would still go in, he'd still be five for five,
[20:32.800 -> 20:34.820] he'd still be statistically perfect,
[20:34.820 -> 20:36.960] but that wasn't good enough for him, he'd start over.
[20:36.960 -> 20:39.920] And if memory serves, I don't think it ever took him longer
[20:39.920 -> 20:43.360] than 12, maybe 15 minutes to swish five in a row.
[20:43.360 -> 20:45.840] And it's my assertion that Stephen Curry
[20:45.840 -> 20:47.840] will go down in history as the greatest shooter
[20:47.840 -> 20:49.360] the game has ever seen.
[20:49.360 -> 20:51.720] And I'm here to tell you all, it's not by luck,
[20:51.720 -> 20:52.920] it's not by accident,
[20:52.920 -> 20:55.240] it's not even because his dad played in the NBA,
[20:55.240 -> 20:56.920] it's because he's willing to hold himself
[20:56.920 -> 20:58.540] to an unparalleled standard.
[20:58.540 -> 21:00.700] And while most of your listeners most likely
[21:00.700 -> 21:03.120] don't need to swish five free throws in a row,
[21:03.120 -> 21:06.240] what they can do is ask themselves,
[21:06.240 -> 21:11.360] what are the fundamentals that I need to work for and work towards in my area of domain,
[21:11.360 -> 21:13.820] my area of expertise or my vocation?
[21:13.820 -> 21:18.140] And then what is the standard of excellence that I'm going to hold myself accountable
[21:18.140 -> 21:20.820] to in order to reach that level?
[21:20.820 -> 21:25.480] So in other words, everyone needs to figure out what are your five swishes in your
[21:25.480 -> 21:29.480] line of work or whatever you're trying to perform at a high level of. And keep in mind
[21:29.480 -> 21:34.720] too that that will slowly graduate over time. I'm pretty sure that when Stephen Curry was
[21:34.720 -> 21:39.480] 8 years old, he didn't hold himself to the standard of five swishes. When he was that
[21:39.480 -> 21:43.600] age, maybe he said, I won't leave the gym until I make two. Or I will, you know, then
[21:43.600 -> 21:47.880] he gets a little older and better. Maybe I won't leave the gym until I make two, or I will, you know, then he gets a little older and better. Maybe I won't leave the gym until I make three in a row and then maybe
[21:47.880 -> 21:51.820] swish three in a row. So it's not like you, you don't need to come out of the gate with
[21:51.820 -> 21:57.960] this unparalleled, almost unattainable standard. You need to find for yourself what is an appropriate
[21:57.960 -> 22:01.960] carrot to hold in front of your face and then incrementally over time, continue to level
[22:01.960 -> 22:02.960] that up.
[22:02.960 -> 22:05.560] Well, that leads us into the fascinating area then
[22:05.560 -> 22:08.000] about goal setting, because what you're describing there
[22:08.000 -> 22:11.680] is this ability to keep recalibrating as you get better,
[22:11.680 -> 22:14.960] you've set new targets and go after new horizons.
[22:14.960 -> 22:17.440] Tell us about your experience of these high performers
[22:17.440 -> 22:19.840] and how they go about doing that then.
[22:19.840 -> 22:22.240] Well, I'm a huge fan of the word recalibration.
[22:22.240 -> 22:25.140] It's one that I use often in my own life.
[22:25.140 -> 22:29.120] And I know this is a little bit of a cliche analogy,
[22:29.120 -> 22:30.940] but it still is incredibly important.
[22:30.940 -> 22:33.360] And that is using a GPS to navigate
[22:33.360 -> 22:34.380] where you're trying to go,
[22:34.380 -> 22:35.340] which for someone like me,
[22:35.340 -> 22:38.100] who is not very good with directions, I find very helpful.
[22:38.100 -> 22:41.800] And there's two points that are required for the GPS.
[22:41.800 -> 22:42.940] First and foremost,
[22:42.940 -> 22:45.340] you have to know exactly where you are right now,
[22:45.340 -> 22:47.620] or the GPS has to know where you are.
[22:47.620 -> 22:50.500] The GPS doesn't care where you were last Tuesday,
[22:50.500 -> 22:52.720] doesn't care where you were 10 minutes ago.
[22:52.720 -> 22:55.360] The GPS only cares where you are right now.
[22:55.360 -> 22:57.860] So that's akin to self-awareness.
[22:57.860 -> 23:00.700] We need to know who and where we are in space
[23:00.700 -> 23:02.060] right now at this moment.
[23:02.060 -> 23:05.100] But then the GPS also needs to have an ending address.
[23:05.100 -> 23:07.360] Where are you trying to get to?
[23:07.360 -> 23:08.640] And you need to know that.
[23:08.640 -> 23:11.680] That would be akin to having a goal or having a North Star.
[23:11.680 -> 23:13.680] And once you have those two points,
[23:13.680 -> 23:15.680] then it is going to give you the most efficient
[23:15.680 -> 23:17.320] and effective way to get there.
[23:17.320 -> 23:19.920] However, anyone who's followed GPS,
[23:19.920 -> 23:21.960] especially on a longer car ride,
[23:21.960 -> 23:25.060] will know that it'll often reroute and change,
[23:25.060 -> 23:28.000] especially if you make the wrong turn like I'm prone to do.
[23:28.000 -> 23:29.920] If you get off on the wrong exit,
[23:29.920 -> 23:32.240] it will basically say we have to reroute.
[23:32.240 -> 23:34.400] So now we know where you are right now
[23:34.400 -> 23:36.080] and we still know where you're trying to go,
[23:36.080 -> 23:37.320] we have to reroute,
[23:37.320 -> 23:39.740] which is just another word for recalibrate.
[23:39.740 -> 23:42.280] So it doesn't stick to that original prescription
[23:42.280 -> 23:45.320] of directions, it changes as you change.
[23:45.320 -> 23:48.300] And if you say, you know, I need to stop and get some gas,
[23:48.300 -> 23:49.680] then you pull off and get gas,
[23:49.680 -> 23:51.440] and now it needs to slowly reroute
[23:51.440 -> 23:52.760] and recalibrate once again.
[23:52.760 -> 23:54.400] So I'm a huge believer in that.
[23:54.400 -> 23:57.540] And as far as the high performers that I've been around,
[23:57.540 -> 23:58.960] they understand the importance
[23:58.960 -> 24:01.460] of having a North Star and a goal.
[24:01.460 -> 24:02.600] But more importantly,
[24:02.600 -> 24:04.760] they know that once they've established that,
[24:04.760 -> 24:09.240] what's most important is the actual process, are the habits and the daily
[24:09.240 -> 24:14.560] behaviors that will incrementally get them closer to that goal. So yes, a player
[24:14.560 -> 24:17.580] like Kevin Durant's goal at the beginning of the season is to win an
[24:17.580 -> 24:22.240] NBA championship, as is with most NBA players, but he already knows that's
[24:22.240 -> 24:25.120] there. He doesn't have to keep looking at that North Star.
[24:25.120 -> 24:29.480] What he needs to do is wake up every single day of his life and ask himself, what can
[24:29.480 -> 24:35.360] I do today to get me and the Brooklyn Nets closer to an NBA championship?
[24:35.360 -> 24:40.440] How can I make a maximum contribution to those around me and how can I personally evolve
[24:40.440 -> 24:43.240] and grow and develop to get me closer to that?
[24:43.240 -> 24:47.860] And if he's willing to do that and his teammates are willing to do that every single day,
[24:47.860 -> 24:49.460] it gives them the best chance
[24:49.460 -> 24:51.320] of actually reaching that North Star.
[24:51.320 -> 24:53.160] But I have compassion for those
[24:53.160 -> 24:54.980] that get blinded by outcomes.
[24:54.980 -> 24:59.680] I understand people's needs to be so focused on results,
[24:59.680 -> 25:02.120] but I've learned through my own first-hand experience
[25:02.120 -> 25:04.220] in my life, as well as having been around
[25:04.220 -> 25:05.740] all of these high performers,
[25:05.740 -> 25:09.240] that the real juice is in the process, it's in the steps.
[25:09.240 -> 25:11.660] And the example I love to use,
[25:11.660 -> 25:13.460] because I just think it's so visceral,
[25:13.460 -> 25:15.660] is building a brick wall.
[25:15.660 -> 25:18.120] You know, if you're tasked with building a brick wall,
[25:18.120 -> 25:20.180] don't worry about the wall.
[25:20.180 -> 25:22.860] Focus on laying each and every brick
[25:22.860 -> 25:26.860] as perfectly and as carefully and as precisely as you can.
[25:26.860 -> 25:33.020] And if you can stack each brick exactly where it needs to go, the wall will just take care
[25:33.020 -> 25:34.020] of itself.
[25:34.020 -> 25:35.500] You don't have to worry about it.
[25:35.500 -> 25:40.960] And that's how I try and view any goal that I set is once I've got it there and I'm happy
[25:40.960 -> 25:45.680] to have a North Star, I'm happy to have that ending address in the GPS. But then all
[25:45.680 -> 25:51.040] I focus on is the daily behaviours, mindsets, routines, and rituals that will allow me to
[25:51.040 -> 25:55.840] incrementally get closer to that. And then I just recalibrate along the way. We were joined by
[25:55.840 -> 25:59.920] Jonny Wilkinson on this podcast, who said to us that the thrill of winning the Rugby World Cup
[25:59.920 -> 26:05.600] lasted for 30 seconds. Okay. He'd spent his whole life trying to achieve that goal.
[26:05.600 -> 26:07.280] It lasted for 30 seconds.
[26:07.280 -> 26:08.640] I think what people don't understand
[26:08.640 -> 26:10.700] is that when they're focusing on the outcome
[26:10.700 -> 26:11.920] rather than on the process,
[26:11.920 -> 26:12.880] what they're effectively doing
[26:12.880 -> 26:14.480] is they're delaying their happiness.
[26:14.480 -> 26:15.880] So I will be happy, in his case,
[26:15.880 -> 26:17.840] I'll be happy when I win the Rugby World Cup.
[26:17.840 -> 26:19.880] Or to relate this to people listening to this,
[26:19.880 -> 26:23.440] they'll be happy when they get the beautiful car
[26:23.440 -> 26:26.560] or the bigger house or the child or the promotion
[26:26.560 -> 26:32.240] or whatever it is. I think as soon as we can explain that that's just delaying happiness
[26:32.240 -> 26:37.120] and guess what? If you're going to delay your happiness until you get to that moment, you
[26:37.120 -> 26:40.760] need to be absolutely sure that the view is worth the climb. Otherwise, you're going to
[26:40.760 -> 26:44.720] be highly disappointed when you get there. And I'm sure in your experience, maybe personally
[26:44.720 -> 26:47.400] or certainly from the people you've worked with, they realize that actually
[26:47.400 -> 26:51.480] the thrill of that title, the thrill of that trophy, the thrill of that championship, it's
[26:51.480 -> 26:54.440] nothing like as exciting as it was in your mind.
[26:54.440 -> 27:00.080] Oh, absolutely. So glad you went in this direction. And that's why the key is learning how to
[27:00.080 -> 27:05.040] actually love the climb, is learning to love the pursuit, is learning to love the work,
[27:05.040 -> 27:07.360] because then you've already won in advance.
[27:07.360 -> 27:10.340] See, I'm a huge believer that the outcomes and the results
[27:10.340 -> 27:13.000] and the trophies and the championships and the bank accounts,
[27:13.000 -> 27:17.360] those are a byproduct of diving into the process.
[27:17.360 -> 27:19.240] Those are simply a cherry on top.
[27:19.240 -> 27:21.880] And I know this has been a massive shift for me
[27:21.880 -> 27:24.260] because in full transparency in my 20s
[27:24.260 -> 27:28.640] and even for most of my 30s, it was the exact opposite. I was very outcome driven.
[27:28.640 -> 27:35.320] My self-worth was tied to my achievement and the problem with that is if your if
[27:35.320 -> 27:37.800] your self-worth is tied to your achievement then that means when you
[27:37.800 -> 27:42.080] achieve you momentarily feel good about yourself. When you fall short of a goal
[27:42.080 -> 27:46.340] or you don't achieve or you don't get the result you want, then you feel really lousy.
[27:46.340 -> 27:48.940] And ultimately what you've created is a life
[27:48.940 -> 27:50.380] where it's like a roller coaster,
[27:50.380 -> 27:51.860] where you're going up and down.
[27:51.860 -> 27:54.140] And I'm also a believer that if you're setting
[27:54.140 -> 27:56.580] these North Stars and these goals appropriately,
[27:56.580 -> 27:58.420] and you're setting them so they challenge you
[27:58.420 -> 28:00.740] and they stretch you, you don't accomplish
[28:00.740 -> 28:01.800] every one of them.
[28:01.800 -> 28:04.020] I think I could make a pretty compelling argument
[28:04.020 -> 28:07.020] that anyone listening, if you reach every one of your goals,
[28:07.020 -> 28:08.940] then you didn't set high enough goals.
[28:08.940 -> 28:11.280] So let's just say for the sake of argument,
[28:11.280 -> 28:13.600] I reach 50% of my goals.
[28:13.600 -> 28:16.740] So 50% of the time I achieve and I get what I want,
[28:16.740 -> 28:18.460] 50% of the time I don't.
[28:18.460 -> 28:22.420] Well, according to my old construct in life philosophy,
[28:22.420 -> 28:24.460] that meant half the time I felt good,
[28:24.460 -> 28:26.340] half the time I felt really lousy.
[28:26.340 -> 28:28.280] And to me, that's no way to live.
[28:28.280 -> 28:30.280] Now I've shifted it around and said,
[28:30.280 -> 28:32.720] yes, I've got targets that I'm aiming for,
[28:32.720 -> 28:34.160] but I love the work.
[28:34.160 -> 28:35.600] I actually love the writing.
[28:35.600 -> 28:37.720] I actually, like, I love the work.
[28:37.720 -> 28:39.240] I've already won in advance.
[28:39.240 -> 28:41.440] And if I happen to reach one of these goals,
[28:41.440 -> 28:43.480] that's great, that's just extra and that's bonus.
[28:43.480 -> 28:44.920] If I happen to fall short,
[28:44.920 -> 28:47.920] then I'll learn a lesson from that, recalibrate the goal,
[28:47.920 -> 28:52.640] and go after it again. But either way, I've already won in advance and learning
[28:52.640 -> 28:57.640] to love the work and love the process and love the steps to me is incredibly
[28:57.640 -> 29:01.800] liberating and empowering. And just let outcomes not be the destination and
[29:01.800 -> 29:06.080] definitely do not let them be the source of happiness because it will leave you feeling
[29:06.080 -> 29:08.120] very empty and very hollow.
[29:09.080 -> 29:11.280] So to build on that, then Alan, I think there's,
[29:11.280 -> 29:13.760] there's almost like just quietly in the background of this
[29:13.760 -> 29:17.120] is like the baseline of patience.
[29:17.120 -> 29:20.200] And I think patience is something that we don't often talk
[29:20.200 -> 29:23.840] about the idea that we have to do this for a long time.
[29:23.840 -> 29:25.920] So would you tell us about how we that we have to do this for a long time. So what do you tell us about
[29:25.920 -> 29:31.400] how we feel we could develop that patience to love the process to eventually take us
[29:31.400 -> 29:36.680] to where our North Star is guided? I feel like my genetic wiring for most of my life
[29:36.680 -> 29:42.320] has been to be very impatient and want everything immediately. So this has taken some unlearning
[29:42.320 -> 29:47.760] and then relearning and reconditioning myself to learn how to be more patient.
[29:47.760 -> 29:52.260] And with that I also want to make the disclaimer that everything that I'm sharing with you all,
[29:52.260 -> 29:58.680] I'm not speaking from a place of mastery. These are all things that I still struggle with, I still find challenging,
[29:58.820 -> 30:08.520] but I like the progress that I'm making. And one of the things that I threw out years ago was this concept of perfection. I don't allow myself to get stifled by perfection
[30:08.520 -> 30:12.260] because I don't actually believe in perfection. You know I know as a human
[30:12.260 -> 30:16.160] being I'm flawed. I'm gonna make plenty of mistakes. I'm gonna exercise poor
[30:16.160 -> 30:21.340] judgment. Those things are gonna happen. Can I learn from those and be motivated
[30:21.340 -> 30:26.240] and inspired by making progress? Am I further along today than I was yesterday?
[30:26.240 -> 30:29.120] And will I be further along a year from now than I am today?
[30:29.120 -> 30:31.080] That's what really inspires me.
[30:31.080 -> 30:33.200] And in order to have that mindset,
[30:33.200 -> 30:34.840] you need to develop patience.
[30:34.840 -> 30:36.740] And so with patience,
[30:36.740 -> 30:39.640] I'm not anywhere as patient as I'm capable of,
[30:39.640 -> 30:43.680] nor am I as patient as I hope to be at some point,
[30:43.680 -> 30:45.980] but I'm definitely more patient than I was
[30:45.980 -> 30:48.160] a year ago, five years ago, 10 years ago.
[30:48.160 -> 30:51.920] And it simply takes practice, but it also takes awareness.
[30:51.920 -> 30:53.560] You know, you will never improve something
[30:53.560 -> 30:56.000] you're unaware of, you will never fix something
[30:56.000 -> 30:57.300] you're oblivious to.
[30:57.300 -> 30:59.920] So the very first step to improving patience
[30:59.920 -> 31:01.680] is having the awareness to recognize
[31:01.680 -> 31:03.460] when you're being impatient.
[31:03.460 -> 31:05.080] Is to recognize when you're starting to. Is to recognize when you're starting
[31:05.080 -> 31:08.360] to unconsciously skip steps or look for shortcuts
[31:08.360 -> 31:11.480] or when you're unconsciously just drawn to the outcomes
[31:11.480 -> 31:13.120] instead of the process.
[31:13.120 -> 31:14.920] And that's the stage I'm at now.
[31:14.920 -> 31:16.720] I still have a natural inclination
[31:16.720 -> 31:18.720] to be very impatient towards things,
[31:18.720 -> 31:21.520] to chase, to hunt down, you know,
[31:21.520 -> 31:24.120] and to almost have an aggressive mindset.
[31:24.120 -> 31:27.880] But I'm now at a point where I catch myself doing those things rather quickly and
[31:27.880 -> 31:31.800] I can take a deep breath and I can have a very pleasant conversation with myself,
[31:31.800 -> 31:35.560] you know, improve myself, talk to remind myself that, you know,
[31:35.600 -> 31:38.520] I need to be more patient, that things take time, you know,
[31:38.520 -> 31:43.080] that it took me almost 20 years to build up credibility in the basketball
[31:43.080 -> 31:45.160] training space. And then when I left that
[31:45.160 -> 31:47.160] to become a corporate keynote speaker,
[31:47.160 -> 31:48.720] I had to remind myself
[31:48.720 -> 31:51.000] that it was going to take time to do the same.
[31:51.000 -> 31:53.040] That I wasn't going to leap into a new industry
[31:53.040 -> 31:55.560] and a new vocation and just snap my fingers
[31:55.560 -> 31:59.280] and all of a sudden, you know, be world-class at it.
[31:59.280 -> 32:00.900] It was going to take time,
[32:00.900 -> 32:02.440] just like it did the first time around.
[32:02.440 -> 32:06.080] And shifting that perspective gave me the patience
[32:06.080 -> 32:08.200] that it needed to continue to build this.
[32:08.200 -> 32:10.600] And while I'm proud of what I've done over the last
[32:10.600 -> 32:13.200] five years, I haven't even come close to scratching
[32:13.200 -> 32:15.640] the surface of where it is that I'm headed.
[32:15.840 -> 32:17.760] And I know that's going to be a lifelong pursuit.
[32:17.880 -> 32:21.160] I don't think I'll ever be a completed work.
[32:21.200 -> 32:23.240] You know, you'll never put me under museum glass.
[32:23.280 -> 32:28.800] I will be a work in progress for the rest of my life. And I'm actually thankful for that because to me,
[32:28.800 -> 32:31.160] that's the fun part.
[32:31.160 -> 32:35.440] Still to come on this conversation with Alan Stein Jr.
[32:35.440 -> 32:39.620] He would say, if you're telling me coach that we're going to lose tomorrow because we got
[32:39.620 -> 32:44.600] out rebounded, we will not let that happen. We're going to emphasize rebounding even more
[32:44.600 -> 32:49.240] during tomorrow's shoot around. So if we do lose tomorrow, it's not going to be for the reasons
[32:49.240 -> 32:53.820] that we've already agreed upon are the reasons we will lose. I mean, it's so simple, but
[32:53.820 -> 33:00.360] so brilliant. This is not about delaying happiness or waiting until I'm 66 to enjoy the fruits
[33:00.360 -> 33:03.480] of life. I'm making those decisions today.
[33:03.480 -> 33:05.320] On our podcast, we love to highlight businesses that are doing things a better way so you the fruits of life, I'm making those decisions today.
[33:05.320 -> 33:09.240] On our podcast we love to highlight businesses that are doing things a better way so you
[33:09.240 -> 33:14.520] can live a better life. And that's why when I found Mint Mobile I had to share. So Mint
[33:14.520 -> 33:19.200] Mobile ditched retail stores and all those overhead costs and instead sells their phone
[33:19.200 -> 33:24.440] plans online and passes those savings to you. And for a limited time they're passing on
[33:24.440 -> 33:29.720] even more savings with a new customer offer that cuts all Mint Mobile plans to $15
[33:29.720 -> 33:35.640] a month when you purchase a three-month plan. That's unlimited talk, text and data
[33:35.640 -> 33:41.920] for $15 a month. And by the way the quality of Mint Mobile's wireless
[33:41.920 -> 33:45.160] service in comparison to providers that we've worked with before is
[33:45.160 -> 33:52.000] incredible. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans for 15 bucks a month. So
[33:52.000 -> 33:57.320] say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans, those jaw-dropping monthly bills, those unexpected
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[34:02.720 -> 34:05.480] nation's largest 5G network.
[34:05.480 -> 34:09.960] Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan, bring your phone number along with all your
[34:09.960 -> 34:11.520] existing contacts.
[34:11.520 -> 34:16.120] So ditch overpriced wireless with Mint Mobile's limited time deal and get premium wireless
[34:16.120 -> 34:19.080] service for just $15 a month.
[34:19.080 -> 34:23.920] To get this new customer offer and your new 3 month unlimited wireless plan for just $15
[34:23.920 -> 34:31.580] a month, go to mintmobile.com slash HPP that's mintmobile.com slash HPP cut your
[34:31.580 -> 34:37.800] wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash HPP additional taxes
[34:37.800 -> 34:49.080] fees and restrictions apply see mint mobile for details. I would love some really, really salient and clear tips for people
[34:49.080 -> 34:53.160] on how to improve the self-talk that you could share with them to help improve
[34:53.160 -> 34:56.620] their lives. Most of the high performers that I've had a chance to get to know
[34:56.620 -> 35:01.320] and be around are very critical of themselves. They hold themselves
[35:01.320 -> 35:05.460] oftentimes to an unachievable standard and when they fall short of that
[35:05.460 -> 35:10.960] They pile on with shame and guilt and beat themselves up now. This doesn't mean go easy on yourself
[35:10.960 -> 35:13.560] You can still hold yourself to a really high standard
[35:14.200 -> 35:19.960] But you can do so with love and grace like I hold my children who I love more than anything in this world to an
[35:20.120 -> 35:21.760] incredibly high standard
[35:21.760 -> 35:25.320] But I do so in a loving way and And the best advice that I can give,
[35:25.320 -> 35:26.680] and I've used this in my own life,
[35:26.680 -> 35:29.200] and I hope your listeners find it helpful to apply,
[35:29.200 -> 35:31.540] is practice speaking to yourself
[35:31.540 -> 35:33.760] the way you would speak to a loved one.
[35:33.760 -> 35:36.640] You know, Jake, if you called me up after a tough day
[35:36.640 -> 35:39.200] and said, hey, Alan, I had a really rough day today.
[35:39.200 -> 35:41.200] You know, I had a podcast interview this morning
[35:41.200 -> 35:43.720] and I completely botched it, we forgot to hit record
[35:43.720 -> 35:46.580] and I got halfway through, and then I had this proposal that this morning and I completely botched it. We forgot to hit record and I got halfway through and then I had this proposal that
[35:46.580 -> 35:50.860] I submitted and it got denied because I had some errors in it and I got in an argument
[35:50.860 -> 35:52.500] with my significant other.
[35:52.500 -> 35:54.420] It was just really, really a tough day.
[35:54.420 -> 35:59.260] If you came to me with that as your friend, the very first thing I would do would be to
[35:59.260 -> 36:03.860] extend a hand with empathy and compassion and say, Jake, man, I know what it's like
[36:03.860 -> 36:05.160] to have a tough day.
[36:05.160 -> 36:07.000] I'm sorry that you went through this,
[36:07.000 -> 36:09.160] but I know you're strong enough to get past this.
[36:09.160 -> 36:11.300] I know you're gonna learn some lessons from this.
[36:11.300 -> 36:14.100] You know, I know that just because you had a bad day today
[36:14.100 -> 36:16.060] doesn't mean you'll have a bad day tomorrow.
[36:16.060 -> 36:17.940] You got this, buddy, because I believe in you
[36:17.940 -> 36:20.180] and I care about you and I've got your back.
[36:20.180 -> 36:22.940] That is how I would approach you as a friend.
[36:22.940 -> 36:25.040] And that's how we need to talk to ourselves.
[36:25.040 -> 36:26.960] You know, so when I make mistakes,
[36:26.960 -> 36:28.960] and you know, at the time of this recording,
[36:28.960 -> 36:30.400] it's just a little bit after lunchtime,
[36:30.400 -> 36:31.760] East Coast time here in the States,
[36:31.760 -> 36:34.080] I've probably made 10 mistakes already today.
[36:34.080 -> 36:35.440] And that's okay, that's on par.
[36:35.440 -> 36:36.640] That's, you know, like I said,
[36:36.640 -> 36:37.920] I don't worry about perfection.
[36:37.920 -> 36:40.640] But what I've learned to do is forgive myself,
[36:40.640 -> 36:43.600] be kind to myself, learn from these mishaps,
[36:43.600 -> 36:48.580] and then quickly move to the next play. I'm a big next play guy and I think if we can learn to talk to
[36:48.580 -> 36:52.560] ourselves the same way we would talk to a loved one, especially children, any
[36:52.560 -> 36:56.160] parents listening to this, you know, if your child comes to you and they're
[36:56.160 -> 36:59.920] upset or they're scared or they're worried or they're anxious, you don't
[36:59.920 -> 37:04.400] belittle them, you don't demean them, you don't make fun of them, you bring them
[37:04.400 -> 37:09.220] in and you embrace them and you show them warmth and comfort and love. And that's what we need
[37:09.220 -> 37:14.160] to do to ourselves. And I've, this is another area that I've had to do some immense self-work
[37:14.160 -> 37:18.740] and I've gotten much better at that over these last few years because I used to be very critical
[37:18.740 -> 37:22.900] of myself and I'm trying now to give myself some grace.
[37:22.900 -> 37:25.160] So the way you described that relationship there
[37:25.160 -> 37:28.080] and that kind of language and conversation
[37:28.080 -> 37:31.080] leads us into the area of culture.
[37:31.080 -> 37:32.520] So you've been in the locker rooms
[37:32.520 -> 37:34.600] of these high performing environments
[37:34.600 -> 37:39.460] and I'm interested in how leaders within those environments
[37:39.460 -> 37:43.680] create that culture of psychological safety, compassion,
[37:43.680 -> 37:46.880] empathy, and understanding that is the building
[37:46.880 -> 37:50.000] blocks of high performance. Would you give us some insights into that?
[37:50.000 -> 37:54.720] I'll be happy to. Culture is one of my favorite things to talk about. And I know that it's
[37:55.520 -> 38:01.280] somewhat of a buzzword. People talk all the time about culture and they never really define it.
[38:02.160 -> 38:08.960] I'm a believer that your culture is how well aligned your beliefs and your behaviors are so you have your beliefs
[38:08.960 -> 38:12.560] This is these are your core values. This is your vision. This is your mission
[38:12.560 -> 38:15.760] This is what you're telling everybody that you want the team to be
[38:16.000 -> 38:22.580] But then that has to mirror the daily behaviors the mindsets the attitudes the habits the way your team shows up
[38:22.800 -> 38:25.100] Because if those things aren't congruent,
[38:25.100 -> 38:28.560] if I'm telling you that these are our team's core values,
[38:28.560 -> 38:30.980] and then you see me behave differently,
[38:30.980 -> 38:33.520] you see me behave in construct to that,
[38:33.520 -> 38:36.200] or dysfunction to that, then we've got a problem.
[38:36.200 -> 38:39.680] So culture is how well you align beliefs and behaviors.
[38:39.680 -> 38:42.320] So in order to do that, first and foremost,
[38:42.320 -> 38:45.780] you have to have clarity on what it is that you believe.
[38:45.780 -> 38:48.900] You know, as, let's just say as a business organization,
[38:48.900 -> 38:50.880] you know, what do we stand for?
[38:50.880 -> 38:52.280] What do we believe in?
[38:52.280 -> 38:53.140] What is our mission?
[38:53.140 -> 38:54.300] What is our vision?
[38:54.300 -> 38:56.600] What are our non-negotiable core values?
[38:56.600 -> 38:57.840] Who do we serve?
[38:57.840 -> 38:59.560] What problem do we solve?
[38:59.560 -> 39:01.720] You know, you have to get crystal clear on all of those
[39:01.720 -> 39:04.100] because if you're ambiguous in those,
[39:04.100 -> 39:08.000] that's gonna fog the clarity of being able to create that culture. So on
[39:08.000 -> 39:11.960] one's hand you have to be crystal clear on those things, then on the other hand
[39:11.960 -> 39:17.160] you need to hold everyone, starting with yourself as the leader, to a high
[39:17.160 -> 39:20.660] standard of accountability in living those things out.
[39:20.660 -> 39:25.120] So can you describe a culture that you've been into then that does come
[39:25.120 -> 39:29.840] closest to those standards? Absolutely I'll give you one in the sports world
[39:29.840 -> 39:32.660] then I'll give you one in the business world one in the sports world so I was
[39:32.660 -> 39:36.700] fortunate to work for six years as the performance coach at DeMatha Catholic
[39:36.700 -> 39:41.540] High School a private high school here right outside of Washington DC that has
[39:41.540 -> 39:46.080] over a dozen players currently playing in the NBA. DeMatha is one of the top 10
[39:46.960 -> 39:52.400] high school boys basketball programs in the United States. And you know for reference there are over
[39:52.400 -> 39:57.680] 30,000 boys varsity high school basketball programs in the United States and DeMatha's
[39:57.680 -> 40:03.440] regularly in the top 10. Victor Oladipo, Quinn Cook, Markel Fultz, a whole host of players.
[40:03.440 -> 40:07.380] And the culture that Mike Jones, who was the coach then,
[40:07.380 -> 40:09.460] he's not the coach at present, that I worked for,
[40:09.680 -> 40:13.680] did an unbelievable job at building that DeMatha culture.
[40:14.120 -> 40:17.660] He modeled the behavior that he wanted to see from the rest of the team.
[40:17.900 -> 40:21.000] This was never leading from an ivory tower, you know, saying,
[40:21.000 -> 40:24.520] do as I say, not as I do. He led by example,
[40:26.040 -> 40:30.560] and he held everyone to a very high standard. Every single person in the DeMatha program, managers,
[40:30.560 -> 40:35.060] assistant coaches, athletic trainers and of course the players themselves, they
[40:35.060 -> 40:38.400] knew exactly what the standard of excellence were, they knew what their
[40:38.400 -> 40:42.040] role was on the team, they knew what they needed to do to make a maximum
[40:42.040 -> 40:46.320] contribution and they knew the the expected level that they were to do it.
[40:46.320 -> 40:52.440] And coach Jones did a beautiful job of not only coaching the team as a whole, but also
[40:52.440 -> 40:56.920] getting to know each and every individual and coaching them individually as well.
[40:56.920 -> 41:01.400] So from a sports standpoint, he did it, he did it beautifully.
[41:01.400 -> 41:02.960] So what were the behaviors then?
[41:02.960 -> 41:11.440] So when you said about these non-negotiables in that example there at De Mata, what were the behaviours that everybody was clear about?
[41:11.440 -> 41:15.360] Well, interesting enough, and this is why he's had such a profound impact on my life,
[41:15.360 -> 41:19.520] they were very congruent with the behaviours we talked about earlier that I hold my own children
[41:19.520 -> 41:24.560] to. You know, the number one rule at De Mata was to be respectful. Be respectful of your school,
[41:24.560 -> 41:29.440] be respectful of your teachers, be respectful of the actual physical campus in the building,
[41:29.440 -> 41:33.840] be respectful of the environment, be respectful of your teammates, be respectful of the game of
[41:33.840 -> 41:39.040] basketball, be respectful of the fact that players have played here long before you that have built
[41:39.040 -> 41:45.360] the foundation and given this program the credibility that you're now allowed to enjoy. You know, he would, you know,
[41:45.360 -> 41:48.640] DeMatha was one of Nike's elite programs,
[41:48.640 -> 41:51.420] which meant even at the high school level,
[41:51.420 -> 41:54.880] we would get the same shoes and gear
[41:54.880 -> 41:57.920] as many of the top college and professional teams would get.
[41:57.920 -> 42:00.440] And Coach Jones would remind the players and say,
[42:00.440 -> 42:01.440] I hope you guys know,
[42:01.440 -> 42:03.360] and he would say this with a huge smile,
[42:03.360 -> 42:06.320] you haven't earned the right to wear Nike.
[42:06.320 -> 42:08.640] The players before you earned the right
[42:08.640 -> 42:09.880] for you to wear Nike.
[42:09.880 -> 42:12.040] Now it's your job to uphold that
[42:12.040 -> 42:13.760] so that the players coming after you
[42:13.760 -> 42:15.620] can continue to wear Nike.
[42:15.620 -> 42:17.680] So he wanted to make sure they understood
[42:17.680 -> 42:19.300] where they fit in the big picture.
[42:19.300 -> 42:21.360] But it absolutely started with respect.
[42:21.360 -> 42:25.600] Then it also started with honesty and being truthful, which, you
[42:25.600 -> 42:30.560] know, if Coach Jones would say, if I ask you a question, I want you to be honest with me.
[42:30.560 -> 42:34.120] Even if you don't want to say what you need to say, and even if you don't think I want
[42:34.120 -> 42:37.760] to hear, the truth is a form of love.
[42:37.760 -> 42:41.720] When you care about someone or you care about something, you tell them the truth and you
[42:41.720 -> 42:42.720] speak honestly.
[42:42.720 -> 42:45.960] And, you know, he was a big believer that confrontation,
[42:45.960 -> 42:47.600] which I know gets a bad rap,
[42:47.600 -> 42:51.240] confrontation simply means meeting the truth head on.
[42:51.240 -> 42:53.840] That we're going to, if we have an issue on the team,
[42:53.840 -> 42:55.160] on or off the court,
[42:55.160 -> 42:57.120] we're gonna care enough about each other
[42:57.120 -> 42:59.880] to confront that behavior with the truth.
[42:59.880 -> 43:02.800] And we're gonna find a way to help reconcile that.
[43:02.800 -> 43:06.020] And then of course, the attitude of extreme ownership.
[43:06.020 -> 43:09.480] So, you know, many of the principles that I learned from him
[43:09.480 -> 43:12.320] are what I use now to parent my own children.
[43:12.320 -> 43:15.120] And certainly there were more, you know, role clarity,
[43:15.120 -> 43:17.360] you know, it's so important for everybody on the team,
[43:17.360 -> 43:19.440] whether you're the star player,
[43:19.440 -> 43:21.680] who's got future NBA potential,
[43:21.680 -> 43:25.360] or you're the 15th man that doesn't play very often in games, you know,
[43:25.360 -> 43:29.920] those are very different roles, but each of those players needs to know their role,
[43:29.920 -> 43:35.040] embrace their role, and star in their role to the best of their ability if we want this team
[43:35.040 -> 43:40.880] to be successful. So he was a big advocate of we over me, that we're going to do what's best for
[43:40.880 -> 43:50.560] the team, for the program, and for the school, not just what's best for you. And that is a really hard sell to 15 and 16 year old alpha males
[43:50.560 -> 43:55.480] that have dreams of playing in the NBA because understandably, they're inherently selfish.
[43:55.480 -> 43:59.400] They want more minutes. They want more shots. They want to score more points. They want
[43:59.400 -> 44:03.420] to be in the headlines, in the papers the next day. But if those things aren't in alignment
[44:03.420 -> 44:05.560] with what's good for DeMatha basketball,
[44:05.560 -> 44:06.800] then we're going to have a problem.
[44:06.800 -> 44:08.280] And, you know, he would say things like,
[44:08.280 -> 44:10.040] it doesn't matter who scores,
[44:10.040 -> 44:12.080] it just matters that we score.
[44:12.080 -> 44:14.280] So be happy when your teammate scores a basket
[44:14.280 -> 44:16.800] because you're wearing the same color jersey that they are.
[44:16.800 -> 44:19.080] So, you know, and I could go on and on.
[44:19.080 -> 44:21.360] We could do an entire podcast series
[44:21.360 -> 44:22.880] about how brilliant Mike Jones
[44:22.880 -> 44:25.440] and the DeMatha basketball culture was.
[44:25.440 -> 44:26.600] Oh, that's illuminating though.
[44:26.600 -> 44:27.440] Thank you.
[44:27.440 -> 44:28.260] Thanks, Alan.
[44:28.260 -> 44:30.000] And now a business example.
[44:30.000 -> 44:31.480] Yeah, one of the business examples,
[44:31.480 -> 44:32.600] I haven't had a chance to work
[44:32.600 -> 44:33.960] with this organization directly,
[44:33.960 -> 44:35.480] but I did have a chance to spend time
[44:35.480 -> 44:38.320] with one of their executives and it's DHL,
[44:38.320 -> 44:42.000] the International Shipping and Logistics Goliath.
[44:42.000 -> 44:44.120] You know, I know here in the United States,
[44:44.120 -> 44:46.060] FedEx and UPS tend to
[44:46.060 -> 44:50.940] dominate the very small market here in the US, but on a global level DHL is an
[44:50.940 -> 44:55.840] absolute Goliath and they have a presence in every single country in the
[44:55.840 -> 45:00.980] world and they have a team with hundreds of thousands of team members. So you know
[45:00.980 -> 45:05.400] you go from DeMatha which has 15 players, 5 coaches and a couple of managers
[45:05.400 -> 45:10.900] over to DHL that has hundreds of thousands and so their ability to scale their culture
[45:10.900 -> 45:12.260] is remarkable.
[45:12.260 -> 45:15.340] And I'll tell this one kind of quick story.
[45:15.340 -> 45:20.000] What they believe is most important is making sure that every member of the team stays directly
[45:20.000 -> 45:22.760] connected to their purpose.
[45:22.760 -> 45:26.920] And at DHL they say our purpose is not to ship brown boxes, our purpose is to their purpose. And at DHL, they say, our purpose is not to ship brown boxes.
[45:26.920 -> 45:32.760] Our purpose is to deliver promises. We promised you we would get you this box on this date
[45:32.760 -> 45:37.600] and we believe in sticking to that promise. And one of the ways they would do that is
[45:37.600 -> 45:42.340] they would collect client testimonials, customer testimonials of people that were very appreciative
[45:42.340 -> 45:47.440] of receiving a package and they would make compilation videos and they would show those to members of
[45:47.440 -> 45:52.240] their team. So they would let the person know that's working at 2 a.m. in a very
[45:52.240 -> 45:56.360] rural country, in a rural town, and they're working in the warehouse and
[45:56.360 -> 46:01.720] their job is literally just to put brown box after brown box onto each and every
[46:01.720 -> 46:05.820] truck. They let those folks know you are not putting a brown box
[46:05.820 -> 46:10.920] on a truck. You're putting a little kid's birthday gift on a truck. You're putting a
[46:10.920 -> 46:16.580] future bride's wedding dress on a truck. You are not just putting a brown box on a truck.
[46:16.580 -> 46:20.340] You are actually fulfilling a promise that could change someone's life. And when they
[46:20.340 -> 46:26.240] did that to that degree, then the person that was doing that work had more buy-in and believe-in.
[46:26.240 -> 46:28.880] The person that was putting that brown box on the truck
[46:28.880 -> 46:30.560] had more pride in their work.
[46:30.560 -> 46:33.480] They took more care in their work because it meant something.
[46:33.480 -> 46:37.280] And that gives me goosebumps even telling that story
[46:37.280 -> 46:38.960] because that's how important that is.
[46:38.960 -> 46:41.480] And they would, again, they would make,
[46:41.480 -> 46:43.760] maybe they'd show a testimonial of a bride
[46:43.760 -> 46:49.480] with tears of joy in her eyes saying, "'Thank you much DHL for making sure I got my dress on time.
[46:49.480 -> 46:54.040] And they would show that video to the person that puts those boxes on there. So when they
[46:54.040 -> 46:59.520] show up for work, they know I am valued. My work matters. And I am making a contribution
[46:59.520 -> 47:05.680] to other people's lives because it would be so easy to relegate their job to, I just put
[47:05.680 -> 47:10.020] boxes on a truck, oh well I'm not that important and they want you to know you
[47:10.020 -> 47:13.800] are absolutely that important, you are changing people's lives and and that's
[47:13.800 -> 47:18.320] just one example of their culture. Yeah I'm not sure which delivery company
[47:18.320 -> 47:24.480] is that, I also read once that trained delivery drivers in speed walking so
[47:24.480 -> 47:25.880] that they get them to imagine
[47:25.880 -> 47:27.600] that somebody is looking behind the curtains
[47:27.600 -> 47:29.840] and you have to make it look as if you're rushing
[47:29.840 -> 47:32.400] to get that delivery there as quickly as possible.
[47:32.400 -> 47:35.080] That correlates to that, but I love it.
[47:35.080 -> 47:35.920] I love that.
[47:35.920 -> 47:38.320] I love that golden thread that runs all the way through it.
[47:38.320 -> 47:39.160] I love that.
[47:39.160 -> 47:41.520] Let's talk then about what inspires you
[47:41.520 -> 47:43.040] in the workplace, Alan.
[47:43.040 -> 47:44.200] In Sustain Your Game, you said,
[47:44.200 -> 47:50.400] before every show, I repeat these words to myself. Poise, presence, personality,
[47:50.400 -> 47:55.120] preparation. Can you give us a sentence on each of those four and why you chose
[47:55.120 -> 47:56.600] those four words?
[47:56.600 -> 47:59.600] One of my core beliefs in life is that a candle loses
[47:59.600 -> 48:03.600] nothing by lighting another candle. And obviously you guys live that out. This
[48:03.600 -> 48:06.080] show is the epitome of lighting other people's candles.
[48:06.080 -> 48:07.560] I'm writing that one down by the way.
[48:07.560 -> 48:08.560] Oh, please.
[48:08.560 -> 48:12.040] In fact, I'm putting it on my Instagram right now.
[48:12.040 -> 48:16.760] And it's not an Allen Stein Jr. original. I don't know who said that first. It was told
[48:16.760 -> 48:21.480] to me secondhand a few different times. So I've conveniently borrowed it. So you're more
[48:21.480 -> 48:29.080] than welcome to borrow it for me. It's the epitome of what we're talking about and it's this idea that if I learn
[48:29.080 -> 48:32.800] something new, which I have learned listening to your guys show, I want to be
[48:32.800 -> 48:36.780] a steward to pay that forward in service of other people. I don't want to be
[48:36.780 -> 48:40.780] selfish and hold on to that. I want to fill other people's
[48:40.780 -> 48:45.320] buckets. So at my core, my number one job is to light other people's candles,
[48:45.320 -> 48:47.280] to fill their buckets, and to be of service.
[48:47.280 -> 48:49.620] And that's ultimately what I remind myself
[48:49.620 -> 48:51.320] every time I step on stage,
[48:51.320 -> 48:53.160] is I'm about to step on stage,
[48:53.160 -> 48:54.680] this is not about me,
[48:54.680 -> 48:58.200] this is not about sharing what I want to share,
[48:58.200 -> 48:59.920] this is about sharing what I believe
[48:59.920 -> 49:02.280] will be most helpful and most in service
[49:02.280 -> 49:03.640] of the people in this audience.
[49:03.640 -> 49:09.120] And the only way that I know that is by doing my due diligence and my preparation in advance.
[49:09.120 -> 49:13.640] I like to say, and this is something else I had mentored to me, making preparation my
[49:13.640 -> 49:14.880] separation.
[49:14.880 -> 49:19.400] One of the things that I believe makes me a fairly decent keynote speaker is I leave
[49:19.400 -> 49:24.560] no stone unturned when it comes to doing my due diligence and learning everything I can
[49:24.560 -> 49:28.760] about the company or the event or the audience so that I can hyper customize
[49:28.760 -> 49:34.240] that message to them and once I take the stage then if I've done my work I'm
[49:34.240 -> 49:38.480] fully prepared and I'm in there mind body and spirit simply to be of service
[49:38.480 -> 49:42.920] then I can just be present and enjoy the moment I don't have to worry you know
[49:42.920 -> 49:45.000] did I memorize everything to the letter I don't have to worry, you know, did I memorize everything to the letter?
[49:45.000 -> 49:46.000] I don't have to worry, you know,
[49:46.000 -> 49:49.000] am I standing in the exact spot on the stage
[49:49.000 -> 49:52.000] and am I using perfect hand techniques and body?
[49:52.000 -> 49:53.000] I don't worry about any of that.
[49:53.000 -> 49:56.000] I just worry about being me, being truthful,
[49:56.000 -> 49:59.000] and sharing everything I can to help the audience.
[49:59.000 -> 50:01.000] And those little, that little mantra
[50:01.000 -> 50:03.000] that I say to myself in advance
[50:03.000 -> 50:05.180] just reminds me that's why I'm there.
[50:05.180 -> 50:07.220] And the poise part comes in
[50:07.220 -> 50:09.500] that I know every time I take the stage,
[50:09.500 -> 50:11.020] something can happen.
[50:11.020 -> 50:14.020] Somebody's phone can ring, a waiter can drop a glass,
[50:14.020 -> 50:17.060] the fire alarm could go off, the power could go out,
[50:18.900 -> 50:20.180] anything could happen.
[50:20.180 -> 50:22.740] And when those things happen, just smile,
[50:22.740 -> 50:25.540] understand they're a part of this thing we call life,
[50:25.540 -> 50:28.360] deal with it, address it, and then move to the next play
[50:28.360 -> 50:30.360] and don't get frazzled or rattled.
[50:30.360 -> 50:32.500] And knowing that in advance
[50:32.500 -> 50:34.240] puts me at a sense of calm and peace.
[50:34.240 -> 50:36.920] So when I take the stage, I can just be me
[50:36.920 -> 50:38.520] and I can just focus on sharing.
[50:39.640 -> 50:42.560] So tell us then about your relationship with failure
[50:42.560 -> 50:49.960] because the lights do go out, the phone does ring, things do go wrong. How do you process that and move
[50:49.960 -> 50:54.640] on from it quickly? One, if I'm in the present moment and I'm not bringing
[50:54.640 -> 50:58.560] baggage from the past and I'm not anxious about what may or what may not
[50:58.560 -> 51:02.400] happen in the future, I can just be present, then I'm able to handle those
[51:02.400 -> 51:08.640] things as they come. So there's a difference between having the forethought to prepare if those things
[51:08.640 -> 51:13.600] happen, what will I do, versus worrying about them happening. I don't spend one
[51:13.600 -> 51:17.680] second worrying that any of that stuff's gonna happen. I just have a contingency
[51:17.680 -> 51:21.960] plan that if the power goes out, here's how I'll handle it. If somebody's phone
[51:21.960 -> 51:25.120] rings, which happens all the time, here's what I'll do.
[51:25.120 -> 51:27.060] And I don't view them,
[51:27.880 -> 51:30.980] I detach any type of negative connotation to them.
[51:30.980 -> 51:34.320] And this is another kind of macro worldview that I have.
[51:34.320 -> 51:37.120] I work really hard not to look at the world
[51:37.120 -> 51:39.480] through the lens of right and wrong,
[51:39.480 -> 51:42.120] good and bad, positive and negative.
[51:42.120 -> 51:43.640] I just look at everything that happens
[51:43.640 -> 51:44.880] as completely sterile.
[51:44.880 -> 51:45.000] It's completely neutral. It only, it has any type of value bad, positive and negative. I just look at everything that happens as completely sterile.
[51:45.000 -> 51:50.120] It's completely neutral. It only it has any type of value when I associate an emotion
[51:50.120 -> 51:54.720] to it. So if if you guys were in the audience, if I were to come over over the pond and give
[51:54.720 -> 51:58.840] a keynote and you guys were in the audience and Jake's phone goes off, I don't equate
[51:58.840 -> 52:03.880] that to being bad or wrong. It's certainly not going to be anything that gets me upset.
[52:03.880 -> 52:08.880] The phone just goes off. That's actually the the the the conclusion of what happens when
[52:08.880 -> 52:13.080] someone dials his number and his ringer is on. That's physics. Nothing else is
[52:13.080 -> 52:17.240] even possible. So I don't get upset over that. I just say this thing happened and
[52:17.240 -> 52:21.480] here's how I can address it. And that gives me the ability to be agile and
[52:21.480 -> 52:28.920] nimble enough to just go with the flow and not grip so tightly onto something or get so bent out of shape when things don't go
[52:28.920 -> 52:32.720] my way. You know, I recognize that a lot of the things that happen in this world
[52:32.720 -> 52:37.840] are not to my liking and they're not my preference. You know, that if someone gave
[52:37.840 -> 52:42.080] me the magical ability to control the universe, there are plenty of things
[52:42.080 -> 52:48.280] that I would have unfold differently. But that's not the case and it never will be the case. So I just let the world unfold
[52:48.280 -> 52:53.520] and then I just respond to react to it. And normally you'll actually improve
[52:53.520 -> 52:58.160] the connection with the audience and the respect from the audience when you don't
[52:58.160 -> 53:02.200] let something like a phone ring knock you off your game. You just simply say,
[53:02.200 -> 53:07.040] you know, if you want to make a joke, if that's your personality, that's great, you know, whatever it may be,
[53:07.040 -> 53:11.280] but people actually appreciate the fact that you're nimble enough to go with the flow.
[53:11.280 -> 53:15.360] And one other quote that I love, and this again is not an Allen Stein Jr. original,
[53:15.360 -> 53:21.280] but Jake, you can write this one down. If you're not agile, you're fragile. And that's true,
[53:21.280 -> 53:25.640] even from an emotional standpoint. So I would say that if you're a keynote speaker
[53:25.640 -> 53:28.760] and a phone ringing is enough to throw you off your game,
[53:28.760 -> 53:30.880] you've still got some work to do.
[53:30.880 -> 53:33.840] Can I take you back to the first part of that answer then?
[53:33.840 -> 53:35.040] And I do love that phrase,
[53:35.040 -> 53:36.840] if you're not agile, you're fragile.
[53:36.840 -> 53:39.400] You spoke about that you will invest some time
[53:39.400 -> 53:42.440] almost pre-planning for what could go wrong.
[53:42.440 -> 53:44.680] So the brilliant psychologist, Gary Klein,
[53:44.680 -> 53:47.120] talks about them as pre-mortems.
[53:47.120 -> 53:50.120] You work out what could kill you, how can I handle it?
[53:50.120 -> 53:52.700] And then you move on and prepare for it.
[53:52.700 -> 53:55.520] Could you tell us a little bit about pre-mortems
[53:55.520 -> 53:58.360] and how you use them and how other high performers
[53:58.360 -> 54:00.400] that you've worked with have done?
[54:00.400 -> 54:02.760] Yeah, I just consider that part of my preparation,
[54:02.760 -> 54:09.680] you know, is just saying, What could potentially get in the way of me serving this audience to my best ability?
[54:10.080 -> 54:16.080] Well if the phone rings and it throws me off my game and I forget what I was talking about or I get visibly
[54:16.480 -> 54:20.960] Flustered or I get angry that actually is going to detract from my ultimate goal
[54:20.960 -> 54:23.720] Which is to serve the audience and I don't want that to happen
[54:23.880 -> 54:28.840] So if the phone rings, what's a way that I can handle it that allows me to stay in rhythm
[54:28.840 -> 54:30.400] and stay in flow?
[54:30.400 -> 54:31.400] Same thing.
[54:31.400 -> 54:33.560] Now, obviously, there's a spectrum of things that could happen.
[54:33.560 -> 54:37.240] A phone ringing one time, not that big a deal.
[54:37.240 -> 54:41.560] The fire alarm going off incessantly to the point that everyone actually has to evacuate
[54:41.560 -> 54:46.420] the building and then you have to come back 30 minutes later and continue your presentation.
[54:46.420 -> 54:48.460] That's obviously a bigger disruption,
[54:48.460 -> 54:51.920] but nevertheless, I'm prepared for those things
[54:51.920 -> 54:52.880] if they happen.
[54:52.880 -> 54:57.680] You know, it's no different in any scenario in life
[54:57.680 -> 55:01.280] is figure out what could ultimately prevent me
[55:01.280 -> 55:04.060] from accomplishing my goal or performing at my best
[55:04.060 -> 55:08.480] and let's address it ahead of the time. I learned this lesson you know once again I'll
[55:08.480 -> 55:12.160] keep going back to coach Mike Jones at DeMatha Catholic High School. The last
[55:12.160 -> 55:16.320] thing coach Jones would do so he would he would scout our opponent he would
[55:16.320 -> 55:19.840] study you know their their tendencies he would study the plays they run he would
[55:19.840 -> 55:24.000] know their personnel during our practices leading up to the game we
[55:24.000 -> 55:28.720] would practice what we plan to run but we would also show our players what they are going to
[55:28.720 -> 55:33.360] run. He'd watch film on there, like he was relentless in preparation. And the very
[55:33.360 -> 55:38.160] last thing he would do is he would ask the coaching staff, he would say, this
[55:38.160 -> 55:41.640] would be the night before the game. He'd say, now I feel good about what we've
[55:41.640 -> 55:50.460] prepared to do. I feel good about our team, I feel confident going into tomorrow's game, I believe we're going to win. However, if we were to
[55:50.460 -> 55:55.980] lose, why would we lose? Each of you, and he would say this to the assistant coaches,
[55:55.980 -> 56:00.060] give me the number one reason you think we would lose tomorrow. Is it because we got
[56:00.060 -> 56:05.360] out rebounded? Is it because we didn't handle their full court pressure? Is it because,
[56:05.360 -> 56:10.120] just give me the reason you think we may lose, and he would collect that information, and
[56:10.120 -> 56:14.320] then he would plug those holes in advance. He would say, if you're telling me, coach,
[56:14.320 -> 56:19.160] that we're going to lose tomorrow because we got out-rebounded, we will not let that
[56:19.160 -> 56:23.360] happen. We're going to emphasize rebounding even more during tomorrow's shootaround. So
[56:23.360 -> 56:29.160] if we do lose tomorrow, it's not going to be for the reasons that we've already agreed upon are the reasons we will lose.
[56:29.160 -> 56:33.400] I mean, it's so simple, but so brilliant. So he would do that in advance and
[56:34.240 -> 56:39.440] most of the time, and keep in mind at a school like DeMatha, we didn't lose very often.
[56:39.440 -> 56:45.920] You know, a typical season we would win 35 games, lose maybe three or four games. So it doesn't happen often.
[56:46.480 -> 56:52.000] But then he would do the same thing on the post side. He would say, okay, we lost tonight.
[56:52.000 -> 56:57.120] Why did we lose? Was it because the other team was simply better than us? Was it because we
[56:57.120 -> 57:02.320] didn't play hard enough? Was it because we took bad shots? Was it because we were insufficiently
[57:02.320 -> 57:05.700] prepared? We need to assign a reason to why we lost,
[57:05.700 -> 57:07.760] and then we need to make sure we do not repeat
[57:07.760 -> 57:09.620] that mistake again moving forward.
[57:09.620 -> 57:12.560] So if we lost tonight because we took bad shots,
[57:12.560 -> 57:14.260] we are not going to let that happen again.
[57:14.260 -> 57:16.240] That will be a focal point and an emphasis
[57:16.240 -> 57:17.300] for us moving forward.
[57:17.300 -> 57:19.380] So he would look on either side of that.
[57:19.380 -> 57:21.860] He would preemptively decide why we could lose,
[57:21.860 -> 57:24.900] plug those holes, and the rare occurrence that we did lose,
[57:24.900 -> 57:28.360] he'd reverse engineer and figure out why and make sure we didn't do that
[57:28.360 -> 57:32.760] again. Nice. He's now a youth coach isn't he with the US basketball team yeah? He
[57:32.760 -> 57:35.920] is and he also he moved up to the college rank so he's the associate head
[57:35.920 -> 57:40.360] coach at Virginia Tech University and he is a yes he is a very valued
[57:40.360 -> 57:44.760] member of USA basketball. Obviously you know if he has a spare hour sometime
[57:44.760 -> 57:46.760] hand him a hand him an invite to
[57:46.760 -> 57:51.720] the high performance podcast. We'd be more than happy to absorb his wisdom. Absolutely.
[57:51.720 -> 57:57.800] Right, Alan, our quick fire questions, your three non negotiables for living a high performance
[57:57.800 -> 57:58.800] life.
[57:58.800 -> 58:03.000] I'm going to stick with the three that I use for my parents. Be respectful of everyone
[58:03.000 -> 58:09.240] and everything around you. Be truthful and honest, but most importantly to yourself and hold yourself to the
[58:09.240 -> 58:13.240] highest level of accountability and extreme ownership. If you could go back
[58:13.240 -> 58:17.640] to one moment of your life, what would it be and why? There have been so many, but
[58:17.640 -> 58:21.080] one of the most impactful, I was a really young child, probably around the age of
[58:21.080 -> 58:25.360] 10, and a coach said to me, well, two things, the same coach,
[58:25.360 -> 58:26.640] talk about a lot of wisdom.
[58:26.640 -> 58:27.920] The first thing he said was,
[58:27.920 -> 58:29.920] if you learn to discipline yourself,
[58:29.920 -> 58:31.760] others won't need to discipline you.
[58:31.760 -> 58:33.440] And that just really resonated with me.
[58:33.440 -> 58:34.160] I was like, wow,
[58:34.160 -> 58:35.920] so if I do what I'm supposed to do
[58:35.920 -> 58:36.800] as well as I can,
[58:37.440 -> 58:38.880] then nobody's going to give me a hard time
[58:38.880 -> 58:39.840] and I won't get in trouble.
[58:39.840 -> 58:41.360] Okay, I'm in with that.
[58:41.360 -> 58:42.640] And he also said,
[58:42.640 -> 58:44.720] you need to find what you love to do
[58:44.720 -> 58:47.320] and find what you're naturally pretty good at
[58:47.320 -> 58:49.820] and then find where those two things intersect.
[58:49.820 -> 58:51.640] So find where what you're passionate about
[58:51.640 -> 58:53.400] and where your natural skills lie,
[58:53.400 -> 58:55.140] find where those two things intersect
[58:55.140 -> 58:56.540] and that's your strength zone.
[58:56.540 -> 58:59.860] And the more time you can invest in your strength zone,
[58:59.860 -> 59:02.380] where your passions and your talents intersect,
[59:02.380 -> 59:04.380] not only will you perform at a high level,
[59:04.380 -> 59:09.080] a higher level, but you'll also have a much higher sense of joy and fulfillment as well.
[59:09.080 -> 59:11.680] How important is legacy to you?
[59:11.680 -> 59:14.000] As a father, it's incredibly important.
[59:14.000 -> 59:19.360] I'm not as concerned with my legacy to the greater world around me, but my legacy with
[59:19.360 -> 59:23.400] my children, and I want my children to know how much I love them unconditionally, and
[59:23.400 -> 59:29.600] that even with all of my flaws, I'm doing the best I can, or I guess if it's legacy, I'm speaking in the past tense,
[59:29.600 -> 59:35.200] I did the very best I was capable of to pour into them and to set them up to have happy, fulfilling,
[59:35.200 -> 59:39.920] high-performing lives. So what's most important to me are the people that are closest to me,
[59:39.920 -> 59:44.000] and in my life, that's definitely my three children. What advice would you give to a
[59:44.000 -> 59:46.480] teenage Alan just starting out on his journey?
[59:47.200 -> 59:51.040] I would refer to the advice that I just gave with you guys, which is if you're a teenager,
[59:51.040 -> 59:57.120] start to figure out what you love, you know, be exploratory and trying as many different things
[59:57.120 -> 01:00:02.480] as you can and figure out what sticks, try sports, try arts, try music, try theater,
[01:00:02.480 -> 01:00:07.200] try stuff, you know, involved in computers or graphic design or coding and gaming,
[01:00:07.400 -> 01:00:11.540] try everything you can and find out which things you really love the most and
[01:00:11.540 -> 01:00:12.800] which things fill your bucket.
[01:00:13.100 -> 01:00:15.840] And then try to align those with the natural gifts that you have,
[01:00:15.840 -> 01:00:19.160] that every person listening to this has a natural gift,
[01:00:19.320 -> 01:00:22.040] has a natural talent and figure out what that is,
[01:00:22.060 -> 01:00:24.800] get clarity on it and harness it for your own benefit.
[01:00:27.920 -> 01:00:32.600] And then find where those things intersect but keep in mind and I'm living proof of this that point of intersection will change over time you
[01:00:32.600 -> 01:00:36.560] know for a third of my life that intersection for me was as a basketball
[01:00:36.560 -> 01:00:41.360] player basketball was my favorite sport I was a pretty good player that was my
[01:00:41.360 -> 01:00:44.760] intersection once I realized that it wasn't in the cards for me to play
[01:00:44.760 -> 01:00:49.540] professionally that point of intersection. Once I realized that it wasn't in the cards for me to play professionally, that point of intersection moved. I still love the game of basketball,
[01:00:49.540 -> 01:00:53.640] but I decided to get into coaching and be a performance coach. I had a natural inclination
[01:00:53.640 -> 01:00:58.800] for communicating and teaching. So that's where it shifted. And then five years ago,
[01:00:58.800 -> 01:01:05.600] it shifted again to being a keynote speaker. But it's still met, that's still the two primary ingredients,
[01:01:05.600 -> 01:01:07.840] something I loved and something that I had,
[01:01:07.840 -> 01:01:10.400] you know, a talent for, I guess.
[01:01:10.400 -> 01:01:13.320] And that may change again over these next few years,
[01:01:13.320 -> 01:01:15.520] who knows, but as we get older,
[01:01:15.520 -> 01:01:17.680] we start to develop new passions
[01:01:17.680 -> 01:01:19.680] and we develop new skillsets.
[01:01:19.680 -> 01:01:21.580] So we don't have to stay static
[01:01:21.580 -> 01:01:23.640] and we don't have to sign a lifetime contract
[01:01:23.640 -> 01:01:29.680] to whatever it was we figured out in our 20s. Next quickfire question, you can't say raise your game or sustain your game
[01:01:30.400 -> 01:01:34.480] because they're both brilliant but that's too easy. I'd love you to give me one book that the
[01:01:34.480 -> 01:01:39.840] high performance audience should read. It's most likely one that they've already read because over
[01:01:39.840 -> 01:01:45.980] five million people have read it but I would say Atomic Habits by James Clear is an absolute must read.
[01:01:45.980 -> 01:01:49.280] I've read it twice and I've listened to the audio book.
[01:01:49.280 -> 01:01:51.040] And the final question then, Alan,
[01:01:51.040 -> 01:01:53.600] that we ask all our guests is,
[01:01:53.600 -> 01:01:55.720] could you offer us one golden rule
[01:01:55.720 -> 01:01:58.800] for our listeners to live a high performance life?
[01:01:58.800 -> 01:02:02.560] Get clarity on the person that you strive to become.
[01:02:02.560 -> 01:02:05.240] So for me, and I'll use this as a first person example, I'm 46 years old. I'm crystal clear on the person that you strive to become. So for me, and I'll use this as a first person example,
[01:02:05.240 -> 01:02:07.000] I'm 46 years old.
[01:02:07.000 -> 01:02:09.180] I'm crystal clear on the man
[01:02:09.180 -> 01:02:10.720] that I want to be 20 years from now,
[01:02:10.720 -> 01:02:12.520] the 66 year old Alan.
[01:02:12.520 -> 01:02:14.920] I want the 66 year old Alan
[01:02:14.920 -> 01:02:18.000] to be physically, mentally, and emotionally fit.
[01:02:18.000 -> 01:02:20.280] I want the 66 year old Alan
[01:02:20.280 -> 01:02:22.440] to be doing work he considers meaningful
[01:02:22.440 -> 01:02:24.040] and in service of others.
[01:02:24.040 -> 01:02:27.700] I want the 66 year old Alan to have deep, strong connections
[01:02:27.700 -> 01:02:29.440] with family and friends and the people
[01:02:29.440 -> 01:02:30.500] that mean the most to him.
[01:02:30.500 -> 01:02:34.620] So that's the man that I would love to be 20 years from now.
[01:02:34.620 -> 01:02:37.060] So right now in present day and in present moment,
[01:02:37.060 -> 01:02:39.460] every single decision I make in my life,
[01:02:39.460 -> 01:02:42.640] I try to make in alignment with becoming that person.
[01:02:42.640 -> 01:02:44.420] Whether it's who I follow on Instagram,
[01:02:44.420 -> 01:02:45.840] what I'm gonna watch on Netflix,
[01:02:45.840 -> 01:02:49.280] or whose show I decide to come and be a part of,
[01:02:49.280 -> 01:02:51.640] I ask myself, is this going to take me closer
[01:02:51.640 -> 01:02:52.880] to being that person,
[01:02:52.880 -> 01:02:54.920] or is it going to take me further away?
[01:02:54.920 -> 01:02:55.840] And then every single day,
[01:02:55.840 -> 01:02:58.400] I try to make as many decisions as I can
[01:02:58.400 -> 01:03:00.920] that put me in alignment with becoming that person.
[01:03:00.920 -> 01:03:03.280] Now, the beautiful part of that is,
[01:03:03.280 -> 01:03:06.480] by doing that, I'm designing my future
[01:03:06.480 -> 01:03:12.180] in the present. So, this is not about delaying happiness or waiting until I'm 66 to enjoy
[01:03:12.180 -> 01:03:18.600] the fruits of life. I'm making those decisions today, which means today, the present 46-year-old
[01:03:18.600 -> 01:03:23.880] Alan is physically, mentally, and emotionally fit. He is doing work he considers meaningful
[01:03:23.880 -> 01:03:29.280] and in service of others, and he has a wonderful connected relationship with the most important people in his life.
[01:03:29.280 -> 01:03:35.120] So even though that's my North Star, I'm living it presently. But the only way I can guarantee
[01:03:35.120 -> 01:03:40.000] that that's who I'll be 20 years from now, assuming I live that long, is by making these
[01:03:40.000 -> 01:03:45.120] decisions. And the litmus test that I use, and this will be the last thought for your listeners
[01:03:45.120 -> 01:03:49.360] and hopefully puts a big red bowtie on everything we've talked about which has been a really
[01:03:49.360 -> 01:03:54.720] lovely discussion. Every night before I go to bed I ask myself this question. I say,
[01:03:54.720 -> 01:04:00.000] Alan, you just traded 24 hours of your life for the progress that you made today. Are
[01:04:00.000 -> 01:04:05.560] you happy with that trade? And if my answer is yes, I get a very peaceful night's sleep.
[01:04:05.560 -> 01:04:10.260] If my answer is no, I give myself some grace and some forgiveness and I still get a peaceful
[01:04:10.260 -> 01:04:14.620] night's sleep because I know today is always over tomorrow and I got another at bat in
[01:04:14.620 -> 01:04:15.620] the morning.
[01:04:15.620 -> 01:04:23.900] I really hope that people get a lot from that conversation. And I know that for some people,
[01:04:23.900 -> 01:04:26.620] particularly our listeners in the UK, they'll be thinking, oh that's a very
[01:04:26.620 -> 01:04:33.200] American approach to life, but there is a real benefit in having Alan's energy and
[01:04:33.200 -> 01:04:39.380] self-belief and just that kind of golden positivity that he brought to the
[01:04:39.380 -> 01:04:43.420] conversation, you know, just being an optimist can get you so close to high
[01:04:43.420 -> 01:04:46.220] performance because good things happen to people who think about good things
[01:04:46.220 -> 01:04:49.280] Right. Yeah, I remember hearing that anecdote
[01:04:49.280 -> 01:04:52.040] I think it was Bono that shared it about the difference between
[01:04:52.420 -> 01:04:57.400] So a UK and American attitudes where he said like when you drive past the big house in the in
[01:04:57.900 -> 01:05:00.140] America people go. Oh, how can I get that?
[01:05:00.580 -> 01:05:04.840] Whereas he said when you drive past a big house in the UK people go, how can I get the person that's got that?
[01:05:04.840 -> 01:05:07.880] Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I will just leave people with my
[01:05:07.880 -> 01:05:10.160] favourite phrase from that conversation, which is a candle
[01:05:10.160 -> 01:05:14.160] loses nothing by lighting another candle. And as always
[01:05:14.160 -> 01:05:16.680] with high performance, you don't have to come to this podcast and
[01:05:16.680 -> 01:05:19.200] agree with everything you hear. You don't have to like
[01:05:19.200 -> 01:05:21.720] everything you hear. But all we say is have an open mind.
[01:05:22.040 -> 01:05:24.800] Consider it, you know, just consider a couple of the points
[01:05:24.800 -> 01:05:28.400] that Alan so generously shared with us and just see if it takes you closer to
[01:05:28.400 -> 01:05:29.400] high performance.
[01:05:29.400 -> 01:05:30.960] If it doesn't work, try something else.
[01:05:30.960 -> 01:05:33.760] But a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
[01:05:33.760 -> 01:05:36.640] I think that is a really strong mantra for everyone's life.
[01:05:36.640 -> 01:05:42.040] Just spread positivity, hope, love, and see where it takes us all.
[01:05:42.040 -> 01:05:44.120] Ethan, how are you?
[01:05:44.120 -> 01:05:45.000] Hey, Ethan. I'm good, how are you? Hi Ethan.
[01:05:45.000 -> 01:05:46.360] I'm good, how are you?
[01:05:46.360 -> 01:05:48.680] Good to see you Jake, Professor Damien.
[01:05:48.680 -> 01:05:50.240] Hey, congratulations on the podcast
[01:05:50.240 -> 01:05:52.240] doing so well in China, that's incredible.
[01:05:52.240 -> 01:05:53.920] Thank you, thank you.
[01:05:53.920 -> 01:05:58.120] You know, your podcast inspired me to do that two years ago.
[01:05:58.120 -> 01:06:00.880] So I'm really glad with that.
[01:06:00.880 -> 01:06:04.160] Wonderful, well, let me explain to people the story then.
[01:06:04.160 -> 01:06:06.600] We're now joined on high performance by Ethan.
[01:06:06.600 -> 01:06:09.040] Ethan got in touch to say, I'm a Chinese entrepreneur.
[01:06:09.040 -> 01:06:12.480] I work in education and I'm a sports podcaster as well.
[01:06:12.480 -> 01:06:16.680] I started listening to high performance in March, 2020, three months before I started
[01:06:16.680 -> 01:06:17.680] my own podcast.
[01:06:17.680 -> 01:06:22.020] I've learned so much from high performance and I've grown my own pod into a top three
[01:06:22.020 -> 01:06:24.040] football podcast in China.
[01:06:24.040 -> 01:06:25.540] I founded my education company
[01:06:25.540 -> 01:06:27.820] with my business partners in 2012.
[01:06:27.820 -> 01:06:29.500] Our services were building and organizing
[01:06:29.500 -> 01:06:32.100] student exchange programs between schools in China
[01:06:32.100 -> 01:06:33.420] and the United States.
[01:06:33.420 -> 01:06:36.020] After I started my listening journey with high performance,
[01:06:36.020 -> 01:06:37.780] I not only got so much mental strength,
[01:06:37.780 -> 01:06:40.180] but also learned examples from high performance guests
[01:06:40.180 -> 01:06:41.980] about how to tackle challenges,
[01:06:41.980 -> 01:06:44.920] and also inspiring me to start my football podcast.
[01:06:44.920 -> 01:06:47.840] I launched my own pod, football cafe podcast with my friend
[01:06:47.840 -> 01:06:52.480] It started as a passion driven project and then turned into my second entrepreneurship journey
[01:06:52.480 -> 01:06:54.920] It's now one of the top three football podcasts in China
[01:06:54.920 -> 01:07:00.560] And I'm going to Qatar this winter to do my World Cup podcast series from there without high performance
[01:07:00.560 -> 01:07:09.600] I wouldn't have been able to launch my podcast or be on my way to realizing my childhood football dream. Well how about this, an entrepreneur, a
[01:07:09.600 -> 01:07:13.680] podcaster, and by the sounds of things a generous and kind individual, Ethan
[01:07:13.680 -> 01:07:17.640] you're giving us an awful lot of credit there for the work that you've actually
[01:07:17.640 -> 01:07:21.720] done and I think we say this so often on High Performance, we use the phrase it's
[01:07:21.720 -> 01:07:27.920] within. All of this was already there Ethan, all we really did was give you the self-belief to unlock it and pursue it.
[01:07:27.920 -> 01:07:28.160] Right.
[01:07:28.700 -> 01:07:29.460] Yeah, definitely.
[01:07:29.660 -> 01:07:30.660] Um, yeah.
[01:07:30.660 -> 01:07:34.500] And you know, uh, one of the reasons I really liked this podcast is, uh, I could
[01:07:34.500 -> 01:07:39.540] find a resonance, uh, with our podcast because, uh, you know, when I listened
[01:07:39.540 -> 01:07:42.800] to the process and then I realized, Oh, this is something that would, that I've
[01:07:42.800 -> 01:07:46.800] been living by and, uh, you guys helped me to summarize that.
[01:07:46.800 -> 01:07:53.920] And that's one of the, you know, my happiness out of my listening experience.
[01:07:53.920 -> 01:07:55.120] So I really like that.
[01:07:55.120 -> 01:07:59.600] And to me, I think the Hawk has been playing three different roles.
[01:07:59.600 -> 01:08:02.960] As a learning resource, I learned a lot from you guys,
[01:08:02.960 -> 01:08:06.080] and I learned a lot from your talks with the guests.
[01:08:06.080 -> 01:08:12.960] And second of all, you're my role model because I literally started my own podcast three months after
[01:08:12.960 -> 01:08:20.560] I started listening the very first episode, the real Ferdinand one in March 2020. So I started
[01:08:20.560 -> 01:08:27.200] my own podcast in June 2020. And I think the third row that you're playing
[01:08:28.080 -> 01:08:35.680] in my life is, you know, I as I said, I found a lot of like, resonance from the podcast,
[01:08:35.680 -> 01:08:41.440] I realized, oh, this is something that I've been living by for a long time. And this is it.
[01:08:41.440 -> 01:08:45.780] Yeah, and definitely you're giving me new things that I try to live by.
[01:08:46.200 -> 01:08:51.900] So, thank you. Thanks for being so kind and generous, Ethan. I really appreciate those first two comments.
[01:08:51.900 -> 01:08:57.440] I'm interested in the third one. So out of all the messages that have resonated with you,
[01:08:57.600 -> 01:09:01.920] which is the one that seems to have struck home most?
[01:09:02.760 -> 01:09:08.720] I think that's what struck me most is one sentence from one of
[01:09:08.720 -> 01:09:15.680] the episodes that is you can you know make every day your holiday because I've been an entrepreneur
[01:09:15.680 -> 01:09:21.280] for 12 years and every day is combined with different kind of challenges from work
[01:09:22.320 -> 01:09:29.200] and from how to balance work and other things and how to keep doing
[01:09:29.200 -> 01:09:35.000] high performance work while you are traveling, while you're spending time with your family,
[01:09:35.000 -> 01:09:37.240] while you were in different countries.
[01:09:37.240 -> 01:09:47.840] So I think I've been trying really hard to maintain a balanced life before I listened to the high performance of podcasts.
[01:09:47.840 -> 01:09:49.960] And I thought, I literally thought
[01:09:49.960 -> 01:09:52.800] I was a high performer before.
[01:09:52.800 -> 01:09:54.900] But after listening to so many episodes,
[01:09:54.900 -> 01:09:58.440] I realized that I was just a high performer
[01:09:58.440 -> 01:10:01.780] in one aspect of my life that might be my work.
[01:10:01.780 -> 01:10:04.000] But after listening to so many episodes,
[01:10:04.000 -> 01:10:05.520] I realized, okay, that's not my work. But after listening to so many episodes, I realized, okay,
[01:10:11.440 -> 01:10:12.080] that's not a high performer. A high performer needs to be balanced in different areas of life.
[01:10:18.160 -> 01:10:25.580] And then one of the changes to my life as my family, as my friends, my wife told me, is I have had a more balanced life after listening to this. Yeah, after you know, trying to live by
[01:10:26.420 -> 01:10:28.220] some of the
[01:10:28.220 -> 01:10:32.500] principles that our guests at High Performance Podcast have lived by.
[01:10:33.060 -> 01:10:38.140] So I really like that sentence. You can, you know, if you have a routine every day,
[01:10:39.200 -> 01:10:41.200] you can make every day your
[01:10:41.540 -> 01:10:45.640] your holiday. So let's credit Dr. Rangan Chatterjee for that advice on
[01:10:45.640 -> 01:10:51.120] that. Give yourself a holiday every day because yeah that resonated with me too
[01:10:51.120 -> 01:10:54.840] so thanks for sharing. And you know what I sometimes worry that people listen to
[01:10:54.840 -> 01:10:57.880] the High Performance Podcast and then think right I have to be a hundred miles
[01:10:57.880 -> 01:11:00.520] an hour a hundred percent of the time and I think it's great that you've
[01:11:00.520 -> 01:11:04.320] listened to podcast Ethan and actually what you've got from it is balance
[01:11:04.320 -> 01:11:05.720] rather than the opposite.
[01:11:05.720 -> 01:11:07.520] And that pleases me a great deal.
[01:11:07.520 -> 01:11:11.320] So thank you so much on behalf of the whole team
[01:11:11.320 -> 01:11:12.640] for listening to the podcast.
[01:11:12.640 -> 01:11:16.000] And honestly, we are so, so pleased
[01:11:16.000 -> 01:11:17.800] that you're enjoying success,
[01:11:17.800 -> 01:11:19.640] but also clarity of thought.
[01:11:19.640 -> 01:11:22.680] And I can sort of sense from this conversation with you,
[01:11:22.680 -> 01:11:24.160] there's a real kind of serenity there
[01:11:24.160 -> 01:11:26.040] and you're feeling in a really good place at the moment
[01:11:26.040 -> 01:11:28.400] and that's very much down to you, not down to us.
[01:11:28.400 -> 01:11:30.520] So thank you so much, mate.
[01:11:30.520 -> 01:11:31.480] Thanks, Ethan.
[01:11:31.480 -> 01:11:33.040] And good luck in Qatar as well,
[01:11:33.040 -> 01:11:34.240] covering the World Cup there.
[01:11:34.240 -> 01:11:36.440] So hope it goes well for you.
[01:11:36.440 -> 01:11:37.280] Thank you.
[01:11:37.280 -> 01:11:40.840] Yeah, as a fan, I've been a football fan for 25 years,
[01:11:40.840 -> 01:11:43.720] but I've never been to a World Cup in person.
[01:11:43.720 -> 01:11:47.000] So since I have the podcast, you
[01:11:47.000 -> 01:11:52.920] know, there's no reason for me not to go. So Qatari in November, really look forward
[01:11:52.920 -> 01:11:53.920] to that.
[01:11:53.920 -> 01:12:01.320] How about that, then? Wasn't it cool? I need to talk to you very quickly about something
[01:12:01.320 -> 01:12:08.620] that we're really proud of here at high Performance. We've created something called High Performance Plus. It's a subscription service, and it
[01:12:08.620 -> 01:12:12.080] means that you don't get ads on the podcast. And I know for some of you getting ads is
[01:12:12.080 -> 01:12:16.480] a bit frustrating, so you can eliminate the ads by paying us like the amount that you'd
[01:12:16.480 -> 01:12:20.600] pay for a cup of coffee once a month. But the key for me is if I'm going to ask for
[01:12:20.600 -> 01:12:25.200] your money, I need to give you way more than you're giving me. So for a few quid,
[01:12:25.200 -> 01:12:26.880] we're going to be bringing you something called
[01:12:26.880 -> 01:12:27.720] when the mic stops.
[01:12:27.720 -> 01:12:29.880] So when we stop the conversations on the podcast,
[01:12:29.880 -> 01:12:31.040] we often carry on recording.
[01:12:31.040 -> 01:12:32.100] And it's interesting,
[01:12:32.100 -> 01:12:33.920] the little things that get said at that point,
[01:12:33.920 -> 01:12:36.160] if you subscribe to High Performance Plus,
[01:12:36.160 -> 01:12:37.480] you're going to get those.
[01:12:37.480 -> 01:12:39.080] We also have lots of people saying,
[01:12:39.080 -> 01:12:41.220] I want to hear Jake and Damien be interviewed.
[01:12:41.220 -> 01:12:44.560] Well, if you subscribe right now to High Performance Plus,
[01:12:44.560 -> 01:12:49.200] you will hear me interviewing Damien. Coming very soon, Damien be interviewed? Well, if you subscribe right now to High Performance Plus, you will hear me interviewing Damien coming very soon. Damien will interview me and we'll have regular
[01:12:49.200 -> 01:12:54.400] conversations on there. I'll also drop in every single week with a learning or a lesson or
[01:12:54.400 -> 01:12:58.880] something that I want to share with you. And we will just flood High Performance Plus with
[01:12:58.880 -> 01:13:04.640] additional content. So if you want to get closer to high performance, closer to me, closer to Damien,
[01:13:04.640 -> 01:13:06.780] if you just want even more from us,
[01:13:06.780 -> 01:13:09.380] because I understand for some people one episode a week,
[01:13:09.380 -> 01:13:11.160] like simply is not enough.
[01:13:11.160 -> 01:13:13.120] And that's cool, and I get that.
[01:13:13.120 -> 01:13:15.880] Subscribe right now to High Performance Plus
[01:13:15.880 -> 01:13:20.640] and get this podcast ad free with loads and loads of extras.
[01:13:20.640 -> 01:13:22.280] I really hope you enjoyed this conversation
[01:13:22.280 -> 01:13:23.560] with Alan Stein Jr.
[01:13:23.560 -> 01:13:28.480] Please continue to share and talk about this podcast among your friends, but I would love you to ping me a note and
[01:13:28.480 -> 01:13:31.840] just let me know what you've made of Alan. Your big takeaway, your big learning, your
[01:13:31.840 -> 01:13:36.800] big lesson. Thanks to the whole team, to Finn, to Hannah, to Will, to Eve, to Gemma, to everyone
[01:13:36.800 -> 01:13:42.680] involved in high performance. And please remember for you at home, there is simply no secret.
[01:13:42.680 -> 01:13:45.160] It is all there for you. I promise it's all there for you.
[01:13:45.160 -> 01:13:50.480] Just chase world-class basics. Don't get high on your own supply. Remain humble, curious
[01:13:50.480 -> 01:14:08.440] and empathetic. And we'll see you very soon. Bye!