E100 - Bear Grylls: Don't let success go to your head or failure go to your heart

Podcast: The High Performance

Published Date:

Mon, 24 Jan 2022 01:00:57 GMT

Duration:

1:06:48

Explicit:

False

Guests:

MP3 Audio:

Please note that the summary is generated based on the transcript and may not capture all the nuances or details discussed in the podcast episode.

Notes

We celebrate our 100th episode with a very special guest! Bear Grylls is an adventurer, writer and presenter. He’s helped many people explore, and learn to love, the wild; including some very famous faces in his show Running Wild with Bear Grylls. In 2009, Bear was appointed the youngest-ever Chief Scout at age 35. 


Bear shares the best way to deal with failure, how key family is in his life, why we should all try to deconstruct “the hero” and much more.


Most importantly, how his motto ‘never give up’ has guided him through all his adventures, in the wild and in his personal life. 


 .......


The HP LIVE TOUR is nearly here! Just a few tickets remaining: 

1st Feb: Birmingham - Lewis Morgan, co-founder of Gymshark

7th Feb: Salford Lowry

18th Feb: Edinburgh - Steve Clarke, Scotland Football Manager.

2nd March: London Indigo at the O2.

Don’t miss out: https://sjm.lnk.to/HPPL 


Buy our bestseller ‘Lessons From the Best on Becoming Your Best: http://smarturl.it/hv0sdz

Buy the audiobook: https://adbl.co/3xQQSCF 


And remember to check out our website 

for more exclusive merchandise and to join our members club THE HIGH PERFORMANCE CIRCLE where you can get podcasts, keynote speeches and boosts from some very special guests. Just go to www.thehighperformancepodcast.com



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Summary

## High Performance Podcast Episode 100 Summary: Unlocking the Secrets of Resilience, Goal-Setting, and Adaptability with Bear Grylls

### The Power of Resilience

* Bear Grylls emphasizes the significance of resilience in achieving meaningful success.
* Failure is an inevitable stepping stone towards accomplishments, and it's crucial to embrace it as a learning opportunity rather than a setback.
* Schools often overlook the importance of resilience, focusing on traditional measures of success such as academic or athletic achievements.
* Parents can foster resilience in their children by encouraging them to view failures as opportunities for growth, celebrating their persistence, and setting examples of resilience themselves.

### Goal-Setting for Success

* Bear Grylls highlights the importance of setting clear and focused goals to achieve desired outcomes.
* Goals should be written down and revisited regularly to stay motivated and accountable.
* Goals can encompass various aspects of life, including personal, professional, and relational goals.
* Adaptability is crucial in goal-setting, as life's circumstances can change, and goals may need to be adjusted accordingly.
* Balancing flexibility and determination is essential to navigate setbacks and maintain progress towards goals.

### Embracing Opposition and Criticism

* Bear Grylls views opposition and criticism as positive indicators that one is pursuing a worthwhile goal.
* Resistance and challenges provide opportunities for personal growth and distinction.
* Instead of being discouraged by opposition, it's important to embrace it as a sign of being on the right track.
* True success is not just about talking a good game but about demonstrating resilience and determination in the face of adversity.

### Acknowledging Failures and Learning from Them

* Bear Grylls emphasizes that behind every success, there are numerous failures that have paved the way.
* Failures should not be seen as setbacks but as valuable learning experiences that contribute to eventual success.
* It's important to be honest with oneself about failures and to learn from them rather than trying to hide or ignore them.
* The ratio of failures to successes is often much higher than people realize, and it's essential to acknowledge this reality.

In this podcast episode, adventurer, writer, and presenter Bear Grylls shares his insights on failure, family, deconstructing the hero, and his motto, "never give up."

1. **Embrace Failure:** Bear Grylls emphasizes the importance of embracing failure as a sign of progress and an opportunity for growth. He encourages individuals to view failures as a positive indication that they are pushing boundaries and trying new things.

2. **Family as a Grounding Force:** Bear Grylls highlights the significance of family in his life. He credits his family for keeping him grounded and providing a sense of balance amidst his adventurous pursuits and professional success.

3. **Deconstructing the Hero:** Bear Grylls advocates for deconstructing the traditional notion of the hero. He believes that true heroism often lies in the ordinary and unseen acts of kindness and support that people do for one another. He encourages individuals to recognize and appreciate the everyday heroes in their lives.

4. **The "Never Give Up" Motto:** Bear Grylls' motto, "never give up," has guided him through numerous adventures and personal challenges. He emphasizes the importance of resilience, perseverance, and maintaining a positive attitude even in the face of adversity. He believes that this mindset is essential for achieving success and overcoming obstacles.

5. **High Performance is Attainable for Everyone:** Bear Grylls challenges the idea that high performance is only reserved for exceptional individuals. He believes that everyone has the potential to achieve high performance in their own unique way. According to Grylls, high performance can be as simple as having a positive conversation with a colleague or taking a few minutes at the end of the day to reflect on personal growth.

6. **Mental Strength is Key:** Bear Grylls emphasizes the importance of mental strength and resilience in achieving success. He believes that successful people often fail more often than others but possess the ability to keep going and learn from their mistakes. He encourages individuals to develop a resilient mindset and embrace challenges as opportunities for growth.

7. **The Importance of Teamwork:** Bear Grylls stresses the significance of having a strong and supportive team. He credits his success to the exceptional individuals he has worked with throughout his career. He believes that surrounding oneself with talented and motivated people can greatly enhance one's ability to achieve ambitious goals.

8. **Prioritizing Family and Personal Well-being:** Bear Grylls emphasizes the importance of prioritizing family and personal well-being. He believes that true success and happiness cannot be achieved at the expense of personal relationships and overall well-being. He encourages individuals to set boundaries and make time for the things and people that matter most in their lives.

9. **Integrity and Trust:** Bear Grylls highlights the importance of integrity and trust in building strong relationships and achieving success. He believes that being honest, transparent, and trustworthy is essential for fostering meaningful connections and maintaining a positive reputation.

10. **Empowering Others:** Bear Grylls expresses his passion for empowering others through his work and endeavors. He believes that true success lies in making a positive impact on the lives of others and helping them reach their full potential. He encourages individuals to use their skills and resources to uplift and support those around them.

Titled "The High Performance Podcast: Achieving Greatness with Bear Grylls and Mike Gaunt," this podcast episode delves into the inspiring world of high performance, featuring adventurer and TV personality Bear Grylls and former MI5 operative and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu academy owner Mike Gaunt. In this detailed summary, we'll explore the key themes and insights shared by these exceptional individuals.

**Defining Moments and Key Principles:**

- Bear Grylls emphasizes the importance of family, faith, and fun as guiding principles in his life.
- Mike Gaunt believes in the power of purpose, goal-setting, and relentless daily discipline.
- Both individuals stress the significance of embracing challenges and failures as opportunities for growth and learning.

**Bear Grylls' Journey to Self-Confidence:**

- Grylls recalls his early life and the challenges he faced, including his struggles with dyslexia.
- He highlights the role of his SAS selection experience in building his confidence and resilience.
- Grylls emphasizes the value of perseverance and the ability to laugh at oneself, even in difficult situations.

**Mike Gaunt's Path to High Performance:**

- Gaunt shares his extraordinary journey from serving in the Royal Marines and MI5 to opening a successful Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu academy.
- He discusses the importance of setting audacious goals and taking calculated risks to achieve them.
- Gaunt believes in the power of self-reflection and surrounding oneself with supportive individuals.

**The Role of Failure and Resilience:**

- Both Grylls and Gaunt emphasize the significance of embracing failures and setbacks as stepping stones to success.
- They encourage listeners to develop a resilient mindset and to view challenges as opportunities for growth.
- Grylls emphasizes the importance of learning from failures and not letting them define one's journey.

**Balancing Personal and Professional Life:**

- Grylls acknowledges the challenges of balancing family life with a demanding career.
- He highlights the importance of prioritizing relationships and making time for loved ones.
- Gaunt discusses the need for setting boundaries and finding a healthy balance between work and personal life.

**The Power of Purpose and Goal-Setting:**

- Grylls and Gaunt stress the importance of having a clear sense of purpose and setting meaningful goals.
- They encourage listeners to align their actions with their values and aspirations.
- Gaunt emphasizes the importance of breaking down large goals into smaller, manageable steps.

**The Importance of Community and Support:**

- Both individuals highlight the value of having a supportive community and network of mentors and peers.
- They discuss the power of surrounding oneself with positive and like-minded individuals.
- Gaunt emphasizes the significance of building strong relationships and fostering a sense of belonging.

In conclusion, this podcast episode offers valuable insights and inspiration from two remarkable individuals who have achieved great success in their respective fields. Bear Grylls and Mike Gaunt share their experiences, principles, and strategies for overcoming challenges, embracing failures, and achieving high performance in all aspects of life.

In this special 100th episode of the High Performance Podcast, Jake Humphrey and Damian Hughes welcome adventurer, writer, and presenter Bear Grylls. Grylls shares his approach to dealing with failure, emphasizing the significance of perseverance and resilience. He reflects on the role of family in his life, highlighting the importance of strong support systems.

Grylls also discusses the concept of deconstructing the idea of the hero, emphasizing the need for vulnerability and authenticity. He stresses the value of embracing challenges and stepping outside of one's comfort zone to achieve personal growth.

Central to Grylls' philosophy is his motto, "never give up." He recounts instances from his adventures and personal life where this mindset has guided him through difficult situations. He emphasizes the power of positive thinking and maintaining a relentless spirit in the face of adversity.

The podcast also features insights from Grylls on the importance of teamwork, the role of fear in decision-making, and the significance of having a purpose in life. He shares anecdotes and experiences that illustrate these principles, offering valuable lessons for listeners seeking to achieve their full potential.

Throughout the conversation, Grylls emphasizes the importance of maintaining a positive outlook, embracing challenges, and never giving up on one's dreams. He encourages listeners to believe in themselves, take calculated risks, and strive for excellence in all aspects of life.

Raw Transcript with Timestamps

[00:00.000 -> 00:06.800] Hey everyone, it's Jake here. Welcome to a brand new episode of the High Performance
[00:06.800 -> 00:11.800] Podcast. Welcome to a significant episode of High Performance, not just because of the
[00:11.800 -> 00:18.320] guest who's joining us, but also this is episode 100 and it may well be the first time that
[00:18.320 -> 00:22.480] you've joined us and you're looking forward to tapping into the greatest leaders, thinkers,
[00:22.480 -> 00:30.040] sports stars, entrepreneurs and entertainers on the planet, letting them be your teacher. Or it might be that you've already heard every
[00:30.040 -> 00:33.760] episode. It may well be that you were inspired by episode one when we were joined by Rio
[00:33.760 -> 00:38.960] Ferdinand, that you loved the conversation that we had with Ben Ainslie on episode 22,
[00:38.960 -> 00:45.200] that perhaps Sir Clive Woodward or James Timpson were people who you really related to and appreciated
[00:45.200 -> 00:50.720] us talking with. Maybe the conversation with Johanna Konta on episode 79 or Paul McGinley
[00:50.720 -> 00:55.540] on episode 78, the former golfer, were things that really grabbed your attention. Maybe
[00:55.540 -> 01:00.460] you enjoyed the conversation on episode 91 with the actor Sam Heughan. Maybe it was Eric
[01:00.460 -> 01:05.000] Dyer at the beginning of the most recent series we've done, which was episode 97.
[01:05.000 -> 01:11.000] Or maybe last time out, Vicky Patterson, episode 99 was something that really made you think.
[01:11.000 -> 01:15.800] I just want to say a really big thanks to all of the 100 guests who've joined us until
[01:15.800 -> 01:18.080] this point on the High Performance Podcast.
[01:18.080 -> 01:23.400] I want to say thank you to you, to the tens of millions of people around the world who
[01:23.400 -> 01:25.000] download this podcast every
[01:25.000 -> 01:28.680] single week who absorb it and then who reach out to us on Instagram. I feel a
[01:28.680 -> 01:33.360] little bit choked up actually because this was at one point just a kind of
[01:33.360 -> 01:37.320] grand idea. I had no concept of how big it would become or the number of lives
[01:37.320 -> 01:41.280] that it would touch but every single day when you amazing people send us messages
[01:41.280 -> 01:45.320] on social media or you track down email addresses or at times
[01:45.320 -> 01:50.280] home addresses and write to us and let us know what you think of high performance.
[01:50.280 -> 01:52.040] That is the energy for us.
[01:52.040 -> 01:57.240] So for the best part of two years, thank you so much for letting us into your lives, into
[01:57.240 -> 02:02.840] your world and allowing us to tap into the minds of others to lift you up where you need
[02:02.840 -> 02:03.840] it.
[02:03.840 -> 02:05.300] And I really think that you're going to agree with me when I
[02:05.300 -> 02:09.400] say that episode 100 is a significant one, but also the
[02:09.400 -> 02:11.500] conversation is a significant one as well.
[02:11.500 -> 02:14.800] I have wanted this man on my podcast for so long.
[02:14.800 -> 02:16.500] I find him incredibly inspiring.
[02:17.000 -> 02:19.300] I love not just his outlook on life, but I love the way that
[02:19.300 -> 02:22.300] he created a brand as strong as he has and the energy and the
[02:22.300 -> 02:25.280] desire and the drive that he has for multiple ideas
[02:25.840 -> 02:27.880] Usually multiple ideas every single day
[02:27.880 -> 02:33.080] But I think that there's an awful lot that we can learn from the conversation you're about to hear because today
[02:33.800 -> 02:38.620] This is what awaits you on episode 100 of the high-performance podcast
[02:39.800 -> 02:44.200] This thing of dealing with failure. It's been so key, you know, you've got to have a plan
[02:44.200 -> 02:45.760] But it's gonna be a stumble, you know, and you're to have a plan, but it's going to be a stumble.
[02:45.760 -> 02:49.600] You know, and you're going to trip and you're going to fall and you've got to get back up.
[02:50.400 -> 02:53.760] Most people run at the first sign of battle, you know, as soon as it gets hard
[02:53.760 -> 02:55.520] and the storm and the rains comes.
[02:55.520 -> 03:00.400] But if you treat those things as like, ah, hey, good, we're in the fight, here we go,
[03:00.400 -> 03:01.520] you know, game on.
[03:01.520 -> 03:09.960] And I think opposition ultimately is a chance to distinguish ourselves. it's a chance to show what we're really made of.
[03:09.960 -> 03:15.760] Value the real things above the unreal things, value the friendships and
[03:15.760 -> 03:20.080] relationships, the peace in your heart, the important things in life over
[03:20.080 -> 03:24.960] the fluff. The great thing about life is that all those things we talked about
[03:24.960 -> 03:28.720] with Sebastian at the beginning, you know know about good-looking, sporty, academic
[03:28.720 -> 03:33.800] people at school those are all natural talents but never give up spirit is a
[03:33.800 -> 03:38.080] muscle all of us can train. It doesn't matter it's not a God-given thing you only
[03:38.080 -> 03:42.000] get it by by practicing it and by failing lots and I like that because
[03:42.000 -> 03:49.120] it's a it's a leveler. So there you go Bear Grylls, not just Bear Grylls actually my son Sebastian is about
[03:49.120 -> 03:51.440] to make an appearance early in this episode.
[03:51.440 -> 03:55.840] Seb was very excited and he left the room for a little bit just after he'd said hello
[03:55.840 -> 03:59.180] to Bear but after that he sat and he absorbed everything that Bear said and I would really
[03:59.180 -> 04:04.200] encourage you if you are listening to this on your own just get your kids around you
[04:04.200 -> 04:05.420] if that's possible.
[04:05.420 -> 04:07.940] If your kids are already at school or things are going on,
[04:07.940 -> 04:11.260] then I also think that you need to,
[04:11.260 -> 04:12.900] don't have to save it, you can listen to it now,
[04:12.900 -> 04:15.060] but please make sure that you allow your children
[04:15.060 -> 04:15.900] to listen to this.
[04:15.900 -> 04:17.220] If you're a teacher, I think this is a great one
[04:17.220 -> 04:19.100] to pass on to your pupils at school.
[04:20.100 -> 04:21.220] And if you enjoy what you hear,
[04:21.220 -> 04:24.700] please share it on Instagram, put it on WhatsApp,
[04:24.700 -> 04:27.000] shout about it, let other people hear it. And if you can rate you hear, please share it on Instagram, put it on WhatsApp, shout about it, let other people hear it.
[04:27.000 -> 04:31.520] And if you can rate and review this podcast, it also makes a huge, huge difference to the
[04:31.520 -> 04:35.120] amount of people that get to see it because of the way that the algorithms work.
[04:35.120 -> 04:39.720] So if you can rate us, if you can review us, if you can share us, I will be forever grateful.
[04:39.720 -> 04:44.720] Talking of sharing today, the awe-inspiring Bear Grylls is the man who shares his thoughts
[04:44.720 -> 04:46.680] on the 100th episode
[04:46.680 -> 04:48.440] of this anniversary.
[04:48.440 -> 04:53.960] We hit a century straight after this.
[04:53.960 -> 04:59.240] As a person with a very deep voice, I'm hired all the time for advertising campaigns.
[04:59.240 -> 05:06.740] But a deep voice doesn't sell B2B, and advertising on the wrong platform doesn't sell B2B either. That's why if you're a B2B marketer,
[05:06.740 -> 05:08.680] you should use LinkedIn ads.
[05:08.680 -> 05:10.580] LinkedIn has the targeting capabilities
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[05:13.840 -> 05:16.420] That's right, over 70 million decision makers
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[05:17.980 -> 05:20.420] All the big wigs, then medium wigs,
[05:20.420 -> 05:23.760] also small wigs who are on the path to becoming big wigs.
[05:23.760 -> 05:25.600] Okay, that's enough about wigs.
[05:25.600 -> 05:29.800] LinkedIn ads allows you to focus on getting your B2B message to the right people.
[05:29.800 -> 05:35.160] So, does that mean you should use ads on LinkedIn instead of hiring me, the man with the deepest
[05:35.160 -> 05:36.560] voice in the world?
[05:36.560 -> 05:37.560] Yes.
[05:37.560 -> 05:38.760] Yes, it does.
[05:38.760 -> 05:43.280] Get started today and see why LinkedIn is the place to be, to be.
[05:43.280 -> 05:45.520] We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next
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[05:49.760 -> 05:54.880] LinkedIn.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply.
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[07:24.960 -> 07:41.680] at mintmobile.com slash HPP. So, today on the podcast we're joined by a true global star. Not only that, I am humble
[07:41.680 -> 07:48.160] enough to admit that if you asked my son, six-year-old Sebastian, who's the biggest inspiration in your life, Seb, the answer would actually
[07:48.160 -> 07:53.560] be this man's name, not mine. Now, Seb, who is naturally quiet and softly spoken, comes
[07:53.560 -> 07:59.320] alive when he's outside. In fact, he recently did a whole school project on outdoor exploring
[07:59.320 -> 08:03.160] inspired by our guest. The first bit of advice he gave on the video that he showed the class
[08:03.160 -> 08:08.960] was to watch this man's TV show. And you see, this is relevant because from TV shows like
[08:08.960 -> 08:13.920] Running Wild or You vs Wild, to his work as a Chief Scout, to looking to change how we
[08:13.920 -> 08:18.960] educate with his Becoming X schools programme, to bringing more women into the armed forces
[08:18.960 -> 08:25.240] through his Be Military Fit courses, this is a person who connects, who inspires and who empowers.
[08:25.240 -> 08:29.640] But what we're really interested in is what is the secret to cutting through in
[08:29.640 -> 08:35.000] a world where there is so much noise and so much choice. It's time to find out.
[08:35.000 -> 08:38.760] Welcome to High Performance Bear Grylls. Nice to have you with us.
[08:38.760 -> 08:46.560] Hey Jake, yeah thank you. Such a nice introduction. I think an alternative introduction could go
[08:46.560 -> 08:54.400] Bear Grylls spends far too much time watching YouTube fails, ski crashes and
[08:54.400 -> 08:59.560] drinks 30 cups of very milky tea every day and aches and hurts when he gets up
[08:59.560 -> 09:04.000] in the morning more and more. So you see Bear that would tie in with the
[09:04.000 -> 09:09.360] experience that a lot of people have with life, where they look at the things that perhaps they're less
[09:09.360 -> 09:12.120] proud of than the things they are really proud of. So let's start with that then,
[09:12.120 -> 09:16.360] like, how kind are you to yourself? Because the one big issue we have at the
[09:16.360 -> 09:19.120] moment is we live in a world where people are not kind enough to themselves.
[09:19.120 -> 09:23.120] So what have you learned in that regard? Yeah, that's an interesting question.
[09:23.120 -> 09:25.520] First of all to Sebastian your
[09:25.520 -> 09:28.800] son what a champ. Will you send him lots of
[09:28.800 -> 09:32.720] encouragement and love and strength for all of his stuff ahead you know
[09:32.720 -> 09:37.120] because that sounds really wild. I will do that. He's sitting in the corner listening in to every word you say.
[09:37.120 -> 09:41.040] Go on get him to hop in front of the camera quickly. Do you want me to get him to say a quick hello?
[09:41.040 -> 09:49.440] Sebastian would you just come here for me mate? Stick your headphones on. He can hear you now. Hey Sebastian, how you doing buddy? Bear Grylls
[09:49.440 -> 09:55.280] here, you okay? Yes. Tell me, what are you into? What do you love doing? You sporty?
[09:55.280 -> 10:01.920] Exploring. Exploring, amazing, amazing. Well, it's really nice to meet you and I look forward
[10:01.920 -> 10:05.520] to we get together sometime in person and maybe your dad can
[10:05.520 -> 10:10.320] keep me updated on all your adventures. All I would say is keep going, keep going, you
[10:10.320 -> 10:16.840] know. It's life is a great adventure as you know and ultimately adventure is a state of
[10:16.840 -> 10:22.000] mind, you know, wherever we are in the world, whatever situation, tough times, good times,
[10:22.000 -> 10:26.380] it's a state of mind and courage kindness and never give up spirit
[10:26.380 -> 10:32.040] Those are your three things for life, but you're gonna smash it my friend and nice to meet you. Give me a thumbs up
[10:33.520 -> 10:40.000] So pleasure, it's a pleasure you take care buddy. Well done Sebastian. What a champ. What a champ. It's interesting
[10:40.000 -> 10:48.420] Isn't it bad because um as he heads off out the room, you know, we live in a world where it's the overt kids that everybody wants to be around and when you have
[10:48.420 -> 10:52.180] someone who's quietly spoken but actually really confident, I spend my
[10:52.180 -> 10:55.580] life trying to explain that there is confidence there but you don't have to
[10:55.580 -> 10:59.560] be loud to be successful in this world. No, you don't, you don't and you know what,
[10:59.560 -> 11:04.360] you can tell straight away he's got just a great spirit about him and and it's
[11:04.360 -> 11:05.160] such an interesting thing, this thing great spirit about him and it's such an interesting
[11:05.160 -> 11:10.800] thing this thing about confidence and stuff and it's, things about school as you know
[11:10.800 -> 11:16.160] as a parent, school, the currency at school tends to be, celebrates the sporty or the
[11:16.160 -> 11:21.600] academic or maybe even the good looking, you know, those are the things that carry weight
[11:21.600 -> 11:25.960] at school and you know, but as we know, those things count for
[11:25.960 -> 11:28.840] very little in life and the currency of life is the opposite of that. The
[11:28.840 -> 11:32.840] currency of life is resilience and a positivity and a never-give-up
[11:32.840 -> 11:36.800] spirit and you know, I think one of the dangers for young people is the
[11:36.800 -> 11:41.120] superstars of school and how often do we hear that the superstars at school don't
[11:41.120 -> 11:45.180] always find life quite so easy but my theory on this
[11:45.180 -> 11:50.160] which I'm sure you kind of understand is that if it's all too easy the one muscle
[11:50.160 -> 11:53.740] you need in life which is the inner muscle of the never give up resilient
[11:53.740 -> 11:57.860] muscle gets a bit weak but we have the big outer muscles and all the trophies
[11:57.860 -> 12:01.820] and the school thinks you're amazing because you come first and get A's but
[12:01.820 -> 12:08.960] actually little Johnny who's never picked for anything but never gives up and is just kind and tries his best and fails and gets up
[12:08.960 -> 12:11.840] again and nobody really even notices he's getting up again for the hundredth
[12:11.840 -> 12:16.880] time. He leaves school maybe not the big biceps or the trophies but he leaves
[12:16.880 -> 12:20.200] school with the one thing that matters and it's that million-dollar checker
[12:20.200 -> 12:24.800] currency of life, the resilience inside, the strong inner muscle. So you know for
[12:24.800 -> 12:28.600] a young boy like Sebastian, like your son of which there are many
[12:28.600 -> 12:33.000] many as you know in the in the world who often you know and I see this with my own
[12:33.000 -> 12:37.640] kids, often school overlooks a little bit you know because you're not that loud or
[12:37.640 -> 12:42.720] sporty or brilliant or whatever you know in school terms. He's gonna be great
[12:42.720 -> 12:50.240] in life you know he's gonna be great in life and take heart and you know, in school terms, he's going to be great in life, you know, he's going to be great in life and take heart and, you know, good for him, what a great kid.
[12:50.240 -> 12:53.760] So, Bear, can I ask you a question then, and I'm asking this from the perspective of a
[12:53.760 -> 13:00.360] parent and we have lots of parents that listen to this podcast, how do we develop those characteristics
[13:00.360 -> 13:05.000] that you've just described? What can we be doing as parents to help our young people?
[13:05.000 -> 13:12.000] Encourage them that it's okay to fail, you know, and that, and reward and praise and honour resilience,
[13:12.000 -> 13:18.000] you know, and celebrate, never give up spirit, you know, and giving kids permission to kind of,
[13:18.000 -> 13:25.520] that it's great to fail, you know, failure is purely a stepping stone to get to where you want to go. You cannot,
[13:25.520 -> 13:31.040] little Johnny, little Sebastian, little Joanna, you cannot achieve anything meaningful in
[13:31.040 -> 13:35.600] life as you guys both know, without going through the door of failure, not once, not
[13:35.600 -> 13:40.800] twice but many, many times. And, you know, school doesn't teach this enough but it is
[13:40.800 -> 13:49.260] key and I think as parents, you know, that what do they say the best parenting summed up in three words example example example you know
[13:49.260 -> 13:53.100] but for us as parents and as human beings and people we just need to live
[13:53.100 -> 13:57.220] that we need to be resilient we need to embrace the failures and and and you
[13:57.220 -> 14:00.880] know it's that Churchill thing of success is going from one failure to the
[14:00.880 -> 14:05.140] next and no loss of enthusiasm and I always love that because it's so key
[14:05.140 -> 14:10.740] for life. So, I think you're right in the sense we fight a tidal wave of a different
[14:10.740 -> 14:15.420] mentality often with the school system. But in terms of how do we build it is we encourage
[14:15.420 -> 14:19.420] it and every time they fall down and don't get picked we go, good for you, good for you,
[14:19.420 -> 14:23.700] you're still smiling, unbelievable, you're still being kind to your person who you sit
[14:23.700 -> 14:28.220] next to, good for you, you're never giving up. Toby Vallisteris- So there was that incident a few years ago
[14:28.220 -> 14:33.220] Bear, that hit the mainstream press of where your son was left on an island
[14:33.220 -> 14:38.780] just in North Wales when the lifeboats came and rescued him. Was that part of
[14:38.780 -> 14:47.720] your teaching to him about developing resilience and grit? No, no it wasn't that was well we
[14:47.720 -> 14:52.640] live up in North Wales, it's a place we love. Yeah, I know. We own a little island up
[14:52.640 -> 14:56.440] there, this sounds much more grand than it is, it's kind of a rock in the middle
[14:56.440 -> 15:02.440] of the sea with a lot of rain and a lot of wind but it's been home for
[15:02.440 -> 15:09.600] us for a long time and we love it and we love the community up there and obviously boats and swimming and all
[15:09.600 -> 15:14.000] that stuff is part of the daily commute back and forward and the Lifeboat crew
[15:14.000 -> 15:19.560] are a great part of our life and great friends and we often do little exercises
[15:19.560 -> 15:21.600] with them. They come out on their Wednesday night when all the other
[15:21.600 -> 15:27.520] boaters have gone in and it's dusk and they we set up little training exercises and we've done it we
[15:27.520 -> 15:31.840] did it for many years and I'd pull ketchup over myself and lie on
[15:31.840 -> 15:35.880] unconscious in the back of it bottom of a little rubber dinghy or whatever and
[15:35.880 -> 15:38.720] they come and rescue me and it was always always quite fun I did one one
[15:38.720 -> 15:44.120] year with our son we put him on this little outcrop of rocks and but you know
[15:44.120 -> 15:49.000] we it wasn't dangerous we backed off 50, 50 yards and then you know, they came and did their
[15:49.000 -> 15:54.080] thing but I think it got blown up into like, best training of sun to be like
[15:54.080 -> 16:00.200] like crazy survivor ninja, he's got to survive weeks stranded on a rocky
[16:00.200 -> 16:02.900] outcrop but um, it wasn't quite as dramatic as that.
[16:02.900 -> 16:06.880] It's interesting though because the reason why the press decided to probably make a big
[16:06.880 -> 16:11.360] thing of that, right, is because it plays into the narrative about you, right? So, I've
[16:11.360 -> 16:15.720] seen and listened in preparation for this to so many interviews and they, you know,
[16:15.720 -> 16:19.000] not to be critical of other people, but they all sort of do the same thing. They talk about
[16:19.000 -> 16:22.720] your childhood, talk about your parents, talk about your military career, talk about your
[16:22.720 -> 16:27.760] accident, talk about Everest. I'm really interested though in what has come next, how
[16:27.760 -> 16:31.960] you've got to the point where actually you are a global brand, which is a
[16:31.960 -> 16:35.880] horrible word but it is, and that's why stories like that end up in the way they
[16:35.880 -> 16:39.880] are. So was it a grand plan for you to get to this point where you're sitting
[16:39.880 -> 16:42.520] talking to us today about all those amazing things that we mentioned at the
[16:42.520 -> 16:47.800] top, or is there an element of stumbling at times unplanned to this point? I think
[16:47.800 -> 16:52.060] it's really useful for people because we now live in a world with social media
[16:52.060 -> 16:56.260] and things where your passion really can become your purpose in life. So how did
[16:56.260 -> 16:59.740] you do this? I think it's a combination of both, I think it's a
[16:59.740 -> 17:04.860] series of stumbling through the plan rather than stumbling unplanned. But
[17:04.860 -> 17:05.680] there is a plan?
[17:05.680 -> 17:10.200] Yeah, there is a plan. There's always been. I've always had really clear goals, you
[17:10.200 -> 17:15.600] know. I think it's been, I look back now and I realize the importance of that, you
[17:15.600 -> 17:19.200] know. I think as humans we work really well when we're focused, when we have
[17:19.200 -> 17:22.160] something to aim on. I mean my grandfather used to say it so well. He
[17:22.160 -> 17:25.640] used to say, it's really hard in life to
[17:25.640 -> 17:28.840] get to where you want to go when you know exactly where you want to go.
[17:28.840 -> 17:31.080] It's really hard, hard, hard.
[17:31.080 -> 17:34.420] But it's near impossible if you don't even know where you want to go.
[17:34.420 -> 17:37.120] And I always kind of related to that.
[17:37.120 -> 17:43.400] And so yeah, from a young age, I set goals, you know, and my mum was always encouraging
[17:43.400 -> 17:45.720] of that and she was ahead of her time really,
[17:45.720 -> 17:51.800] but you know, from really young, you know, I had that goal of Everest, that was a huge
[17:51.800 -> 17:56.200] dream, it was a written goal, it was a visual goal, it was a poster on the wall, you know,
[17:56.200 -> 18:00.200] and all through my teenage years, I mean it's funny, I just had my mum's 80th birthday and
[18:00.200 -> 18:04.440] she brought along to the family gathering all these old photos and old kind of things
[18:04.440 -> 18:07.600] she's found in the back of the you know cupboard and one of them
[18:07.600 -> 18:13.800] was my old school folder you know from when I was like 11 or 12 and my kids
[18:13.800 -> 18:17.880] loved the opening they couldn't believe it you know and there it was it was going
[18:17.880 -> 18:24.960] I will pass common entrance yes slash no yes with some big muscle cut of emoji
[18:24.960 -> 18:26.600] things extra a thumbs up
[18:26.600 -> 18:29.240] and you know list of goals and the list
[18:29.240 -> 18:31.560] of things and this and what on the kind
[18:31.560 -> 18:34.600] of as doodles on the side and I don't
[18:34.600 -> 18:36.800] know I suppose that's been hardwired
[18:36.800 -> 18:39.720] into me from a young age but one thing
[18:39.720 -> 18:41.760] that's true is that the plan has never
[18:41.760 -> 18:44.920] gone to plan and no plan as they say as
[18:44.920 -> 18:49.040] soldiers say no plan survives first contact with the enemy you know and I
[18:49.040 -> 18:53.740] think that why this thing of dealing with failure has been so key you know
[18:53.740 -> 18:56.880] you've got to have a plan but it's gonna be a stumble you know and you're gonna
[18:56.880 -> 19:02.160] trip me you're gonna fall and you gotta you gotta get back up and you know but
[19:02.160 -> 19:10.560] the one thing I'm sort of at pains to say on this sort of interview as well is that I'm really regular as a human being I'm a really
[19:10.560 -> 19:14.560] I'm not a kind of you know when I see the word high performer it's quite a
[19:14.560 -> 19:21.400] terrifying phrase really and and can make people feel a bit crap you know and
[19:21.400 -> 19:25.000] so I don't look at myself as a high performer I look at
[19:25.000 -> 19:30.440] myself as somebody much more who's just been quietly resilient and failed and
[19:30.440 -> 19:35.400] not got put off by things and try to innovate and try to listen and try to be
[19:35.400 -> 19:39.760] persistent and I look back to those times at school I was never never the
[19:39.760 -> 19:44.240] superstar truly I was never the super son people kind of almost expect that I
[19:44.240 -> 19:45.440] was super
[19:45.440 -> 19:49.880] sporty or stand out or whatever but I wasn't, you would have lost me in a crowd.
[19:49.880 -> 19:54.080] And I think that's a really powerful message Bear that people can hear but if
[19:54.080 -> 19:58.800] you don't mind I'd like to just pause at that bit and explore this goal setting
[19:58.800 -> 20:05.180] then that you described and teach us how anyone listening to this, wherever we are in life, whatever
[20:05.180 -> 20:11.560] position we hold, can take what you learn and apply it to our own lives. So would
[20:11.560 -> 20:15.000] you tell us a little bit more about beyond the, I've heard you use that
[20:15.000 -> 20:18.680] phrase, you pump out to the universe what you want to achieve, if that's the
[20:18.680 -> 20:24.280] starting point, tell us how we take it further. I think keep it simple, you know,
[20:24.280 -> 20:25.220] keep it simple, it doesn, keep it simple. It
[20:25.220 -> 20:29.160] doesn't have to have a whole book and a whole bunch of formulas and manuals, but
[20:29.160 -> 20:34.120] I do think as humans we work best with that focus. So for me, I'm continually
[20:34.120 -> 20:39.500] writing down goals in different areas in our work staff and in relational
[20:39.500 -> 20:44.120] staff, you know. I write right down family first, you know, it's got to
[20:44.120 -> 20:46.440] come before work and stuff this next year, you know, God write down family first, you know, it's got to come before work and stuff this
[20:46.440 -> 20:51.960] next year, you know, guard above everything, try to guard above everything, my relationship
[20:51.960 -> 20:56.640] with my wife and with my children, you know, it matters more than anything else, guard
[20:56.640 -> 21:00.960] that first, you know, so I have these things kind of written down, you know, all the way
[21:00.960 -> 21:05.920] down to like physical training goals through to, you know, personal the way down to like physical training goals, through to, you know, personal
[21:05.920 -> 21:10.440] kind of dreams and things I'd really love to do, whether, even if it's like, I want
[21:10.440 -> 21:14.880] to take, you know, my middle son really wants to join the Navy, I'm going to take him on
[21:14.880 -> 21:17.880] a visit down to the Navy to get, you know, I write all these things down because as you
[21:17.880 -> 21:22.800] know, life can overrun us and when we're busy as parents and busy at work, unless we kind
[21:22.800 -> 21:29.740] of have, keep coming back to these things, they tend to get lost. So I do, I write them down and I
[21:29.740 -> 21:34.040] adapt them, you know, sometimes like things change and that's fine,
[21:34.040 -> 21:38.080] you don't want to beat yourself up about it. And you know, Jake, back to your
[21:38.080 -> 21:48.680] first question which I still haven't answered, which is am I kinder to myself now? I think, I hope so, I hope so. I think life does enough
[21:48.680 -> 21:54.360] beating up of us as it is, doesn't it? And we've got to all try and not beat ourselves
[21:54.360 -> 21:58.700] up about it. And therefore goals shouldn't be, we shouldn't be a slave to these goals,
[21:58.700 -> 22:02.820] but they're here to help us, aren't they? To help enrich our lives and make our lives
[22:02.820 -> 22:08.600] more focused, more positive, more fun. And, you know, they could be simple things like just carving out an
[22:08.600 -> 22:12.240] evening a week with the family, you know. They don't have to be all kind of, you
[22:12.240 -> 22:16.760] know, financial or, you know, things that are going to make your life better, but
[22:16.760 -> 22:21.240] writing them down, definitely for me, has helped. And then you made that reference
[22:21.240 -> 22:26.400] that we've heard it from a few guests before on the podcast Bear Around,
[22:26.400 -> 22:31.120] be clear about where you want to get to but be flexible about the route you take to get there.
[22:31.120 -> 22:36.320] So would you tell us about that adaptability piece in your goal planning that allows you to
[22:36.320 -> 22:39.200] respond to setbacks or failures?
[22:39.200 -> 22:43.280] Yeah, I think especially as men, we sort of, people love, you know, like,
[22:43.280 -> 22:50.640] be absolutely rigorous dog love, you know, like, be absolutely rigorous, dogma, you know, but I think life is also, is ebb and flow, isn't it? And look
[22:50.640 -> 22:54.800] at nature, there's often, it's always flowing, it's twisting, it's turning, you
[22:54.800 -> 22:58.760] know, there's very few straight lines in nature and I think as I get older I try
[22:58.760 -> 23:03.720] and listen to that kind of spiritual sort of side a little more of how
[23:03.720 -> 23:08.800] nature works and have that sensitivity and it lovely quote of there's always music in the garden
[23:08.800 -> 23:12.480] but our hearts are going to be still sometimes to hear it you know and I think that's how
[23:12.480 -> 23:15.800] life is as well that you know sometimes the universe is telling us stuff you know when to
[23:15.800 -> 23:21.200] push when to hold back when to listen when to adapt when to change and you
[23:21.200 -> 23:24.240] know it's a great skill of a mountaineer as well you know it's why they say the
[23:24.240 -> 23:27.440] best mountaineers are a little bit older because they have that sensitivity
[23:27.440 -> 23:30.840] It's not just kind of death or glory were going, you know
[23:30.840 -> 23:36.920] It's a sensitivity when to pause when to push and I think it's the same with goal-setting. We need to have that
[23:37.760 -> 23:39.760] sensitivity and adaptability and
[23:40.120 -> 23:42.640] you know wisdom is knowing the difference between that and
[23:43.400 -> 23:48.640] When just to be resolute and not to give up and just to keep going and that's that's just
[23:48.640 -> 23:52.240] wisdom in life and it comes with the experience but but I do think this thing
[23:52.240 -> 23:56.800] of failure is so key you know for me I know when I set a big goal the first
[23:56.800 -> 24:01.640] thing I do in my brain is almost anticipate opposition and criticism and
[24:01.640 -> 24:06.180] opponents and naysayers and dream stealers and above all failure
[24:06.180 -> 24:10.020] and when I see all of those things for me they're like flags, they're flags of
[24:10.020 -> 24:14.220] not not red flags but good flags, flags that say ha we're you know their little
[24:14.220 -> 24:17.880] signpost saying we're doing something right, we're on the right track here and
[24:17.880 -> 24:23.780] I think that could be a good symbol that your your goal is big enough and don't
[24:23.780 -> 24:28.840] be put off by those things you, because most people run at the first sign of battle, you know, as soon as
[24:28.840 -> 24:32.840] it gets hard and the storm and the rains comes. But if you treat those things as
[24:32.840 -> 24:38.000] like, ah, hey good, we're in the fight, here we go, you know, game on. And I think
[24:38.000 -> 24:43.200] opposition ultimately is a chance to distinguish ourselves, it's a chance to
[24:43.200 -> 24:45.680] show what we're really made of, you
[24:45.680 -> 24:49.960] know, and everyone can talk a good game but, you know, ultimately it's about what
[24:49.960 -> 24:53.760] happens when that first resistance, you know, starts to come.
[24:53.760 -> 24:58.480] So that's almost your energy then, when you see, I don't know, when you create
[24:58.480 -> 25:01.280] something as successful as you have and you have someone trying to ape it or
[25:01.280 -> 25:08.520] copy it, that's almost an energy source. I think so and and also the other thing to remember with any successes I've had, you know, and
[25:08.520 -> 25:13.560] I say this not sort of like with false modesty, it's a genuine sort of feeling is that there's
[25:13.560 -> 25:18.080] been so many real failures behind it, you know. And I said this to our teenagers the
[25:18.080 -> 25:21.040] other day, you know, they kind of see that they've grown up with the fruits of the good
[25:21.040 -> 25:27.480] stuff in our life, you know, whether it's good friendships or whether it's, you know, living in a nice place or whatever it is,
[25:27.480 -> 25:31.800] they've seen the successes and I had to kind of point out
[25:31.800 -> 25:36.280] to them just how many TV shows, for example, we've had that have bombed, that
[25:36.280 -> 25:41.440] have done a few episodes and been canned and cancelled and ditched and written off
[25:41.440 -> 25:46.460] and, you know, and ratio was was huge compared to the
[25:46.460 -> 25:51.200] successes but what happens is that the successes tend to define us, define us as
[25:51.200 -> 25:54.440] you said Jake you know that's how we get described you know you've done this
[25:54.440 -> 25:59.320] you've done that you know so we focus on the successes but they're only reached
[25:59.320 -> 26:03.160] through the doorway of probably a ratio with me of about ten failures to one hit
[26:03.160 -> 26:08.140] so I try to say to our boys, therefore embrace the failures, take them as a good sign, you're
[26:08.140 -> 26:11.880] doing something right, you know, good for you, good for you, you know, you're on the
[26:11.880 -> 26:16.140] road. What we often say to people on this podcast is failure is a common, not a
[26:16.140 -> 26:20.520] full stop, and expecting it is something that's really important because it arms
[26:20.520 -> 26:24.100] you and it's important that you say that and I also just want to pick up on, you
[26:24.100 -> 26:27.880] know, the comment about high performance can be daunting. You're absolutely right,
[26:27.880 -> 26:31.840] which is why we want to have conversations like this, because the point of this podcast,
[26:31.840 -> 26:36.000] right, is that everyone can be high performance, but it's high performance in their own world.
[26:36.000 -> 26:40.540] And that can be having a conversation with a colleague or a partner that you've put off
[26:40.540 -> 26:44.800] for a long time. It can be making sure that you just think for 10 seconds about your breakfast,
[26:44.800 -> 26:45.040] or you give yourself five minutes at the end of the day to reflect or to talk in a positive you've put off for a long time. It can be making sure that you just think for 10 seconds about your breakfast,
[26:45.040 -> 26:47.360] or you give yourself five minutes at the end of the day
[26:47.360 -> 26:51.160] to reflect or to talk in a positive way to yourself.
[26:51.160 -> 26:53.640] All of those things are high performance.
[26:53.640 -> 26:55.480] And I know when people don't listen to this podcast,
[26:55.480 -> 26:57.440] because they go, I've heard it,
[26:57.440 -> 26:59.520] but it's just like successful people telling me
[26:59.520 -> 27:00.760] how successful they are.
[27:00.760 -> 27:04.880] But like successful people fail more often than anybody else.
[27:04.880 -> 27:05.560] But you're the
[27:05.560 -> 27:08.880] kind of person that just keeps on buying a lottery ticket and you keep on buying and
[27:08.880 -> 27:13.560] buying and buying and it might only be that one out of a hundred pay out. But it's that
[27:13.560 -> 27:17.720] ability to keep going. It's that resilience, I think, that separates people.
[27:17.720 -> 27:20.720] Toby Reddick I think so. And it's nice to hear you, you treat
[27:20.720 -> 27:27.160] high performance like that, because that ultimately, it's got to be attainable, you know, and the truth is most 90
[27:27.160 -> 27:31.300] Well, I'd say a hundred percent of people are successful. They're all regular people at the end of the day
[27:31.400 -> 27:37.240] You know you get the odd absolute superstar, but even like even the sporting world with the real superstars
[27:37.240 -> 27:42.840] I think they did this survey the other day of like they measured the hand-eye coordination of Federer and and
[27:43.400 -> 27:45.680] And Nadal and they were all
[27:45.680 -> 27:49.720] really subpar, subpart of the, you know, they were on the average of,
[27:49.720 -> 27:54.320] compared to the other pros, they were way, way down and I like that because
[27:54.320 -> 27:59.480] something else has to separate people and, you know, I mean I look at your, that
[27:59.480 -> 28:03.680] word high performance and, you know, I think what does that, what does that mean
[28:03.680 -> 28:08.560] to me? I mean I love the scout thing which is, you know, do your best, you know I think what does that what does that mean to me I mean I love the Scout thing which is you know do your best you know the dib dib
[28:08.560 -> 28:12.720] dib do you remember that dib dib dib dub dub dub which was and I never knew what
[28:12.720 -> 28:17.680] it meant but it was it was do your best do your best and then we go do our but
[28:17.680 -> 28:22.040] we'll do our best we'll do our best and I think that's a great simple way of
[28:22.040 -> 28:26.160] tackling life tackling tackling goals, tackling
[28:26.160 -> 28:32.680] relationships, tackling projects, tackling dreams, you know, it's not be the best, you
[28:32.680 -> 28:37.480] know, it's not be the best because we can't all be the best, you know, but it's
[28:37.480 -> 28:42.720] do our best, you know, do your best and I love that and that's a sort of daily
[28:42.720 -> 28:46.660] thing when we're feeling quite fragile and you know
[28:47.440 -> 28:49.440] Nobody feels very brave or brilliant
[28:49.560 -> 28:54.440] 6 in the morning when you get up or whatever time you get up for things and I think sometimes all you can do is
[28:54.440 -> 28:56.680] To go, you know what dib dib dib come on, you know
[28:57.160 -> 29:00.320] Let's let's put it on like a pair of socks today and like a t-shirt
[29:00.320 -> 29:04.800] We're gonna put on a do I'm gonna do my best today, you know, it might not be much
[29:08.260 -> 29:12.000] But if you do it long enough you do it consistently enough with a smile on your face you're gonna get somewhere great. So when you do your best
[29:12.000 -> 29:16.940] then Bear, what percentage of that would you say is down to your mentality? Well I
[29:16.940 -> 29:24.340] don't think my best is particularly brilliant. I really don't. Modest. I don't say I'm really doing the
[29:24.340 -> 29:25.980] oh the more I sort of live and the more I kind't say I'm, I really don't. The more I sort of live, the more I
[29:25.980 -> 29:31.200] kind of see, the more I realise how really very ordinary I am at all these things. And
[29:31.200 -> 29:35.000] I think part of it's come from a lifetime of being surrounded by brilliant people, you
[29:35.000 -> 29:39.660] know, and especially more, the more success, the more worldly success we've sort of gained,
[29:39.660 -> 29:43.440] the more I kind of ended up even more surrounded by brilliant people, you know, whether it's
[29:43.440 -> 29:48.640] even standing on a stage, speaking in front of, you know, big numbers of people, you know,
[29:48.640 -> 29:52.200] suddenly you're there with the best speakers in the world rather than just a women's institute
[29:52.200 -> 29:57.120] like the old days, you know, or, you know, if I'm out there doing a big kind of skydiving
[29:57.120 -> 30:01.440] sequence or something, instead of just me and on my own with a drunk sort of Panamanian
[30:01.440 -> 30:06.920] pilot jumping, no, we've got the best guys and we're training, we've got earpiece and we're doing this.
[30:06.920 -> 30:09.100] And in a way it's made me realise
[30:09.100 -> 30:12.440] how very average I am at so many things.
[30:12.440 -> 30:14.680] But I've also learned that that's okay.
[30:16.680 -> 30:17.600] There's so much pressure in life
[30:17.600 -> 30:19.800] that you gotta be the best, you gotta, you know.
[30:19.800 -> 30:22.080] And it's an exhausting way to live
[30:22.080 -> 30:25.360] and not always fruitful and not always happy.
[30:25.360 -> 30:29.160] You know, so that's why I like this thing of just do your best, you know, be
[30:29.160 -> 30:35.040] grateful, value the real things above the unreal things, value the friendships and
[30:35.040 -> 30:39.400] relationships, the peace in your heart, the important things in life over
[30:39.400 -> 30:44.280] the fluff. And the fluff of life can be very intoxicating, you know, when people
[30:44.280 -> 30:49.600] first get success or first experience a win, whether it's in mountaineering or sport
[30:49.600 -> 30:53.920] or business or whatever, you know. But as you know, if you meet somebody who's
[30:53.920 -> 30:58.360] they've won Wimbledon or they've climbed or whatever and they're full of
[30:58.360 -> 31:02.320] themselves, it erodes everything, doesn't it? It erodes what you're not, you're not,
[31:02.320 -> 31:10.000] you no longer care, you know. And it's such a life journey this of realising the important stuff and
[31:10.000 -> 31:14.080] families are very good for that, yeah, I think families, I have a very grounding
[31:14.080 -> 31:17.880] family, you can't get big-headed in my household, you know, I have
[31:17.880 -> 31:21.760] three teenagers, you take the mick out of me ruthlessly all day, you know, I have a
[31:21.760 -> 31:29.120] wife who's sort of, you know, rolls her eyes, but is loving, you know, loving a guy, but kind of sees it, sees the reality, you know. Number
[31:29.120 -> 31:32.920] of times I've been in the bath and, you know, she'd go, gosh, if all these people could
[31:32.920 -> 31:38.960] realise, you know, the, you know, as I'm going, you know, I mean, just listen, welcome to
[31:38.960 -> 31:39.960] life, you know.
[31:39.960 -> 31:42.200] Toby Vayne Did you ever, though, have to be careful,
[31:42.200 -> 31:47.240] Bear? Like, when you saw that the Bear Grylls brand was taking off and then the TV shows?
[31:47.240 -> 31:48.920] I mean, you know
[31:48.920 -> 31:54.640] Billions if not hundreds of millions have watched your TV shows around the world and you find yourself exploring, you know
[31:54.640 -> 32:00.840] Mountains with Barack Obama was there ever a point where you had to check yourself and just be like look bear be careful here
[32:00.840 -> 32:04.000] Don't don't get lost in the trappings of all of that
[32:04.600 -> 32:06.000] Vacuous and actually empty stuff don't get lost in the trappings of all of that vacuous and actually
[32:06.000 -> 32:09.000] empty stuff that feels so wonderful in the moment.
[32:09.000 -> 32:12.440] Toby Rees Yeah, I think that's it. Does that ever end?
[32:12.440 -> 32:16.200] You know, I think we always have to check ourselves wherever we are in our life. Not
[32:16.200 -> 32:21.600] just about sort of not being big headed, but just about being kind and listening and, you
[32:21.600 -> 32:28.640] know, and for me, it's a daily thing. You thing, it's a daily thing. But I really noticed, I look back on so much of my career and I think in the
[32:28.640 -> 32:32.160] early days where people didn't know my stuff and everything was out there to
[32:32.160 -> 32:35.120] kind of, I was like come on I want to show the world you know and it's why
[32:35.120 -> 32:40.000] that if I think of my first TV show Man vs. Wild, seven seasons of one lone man
[32:40.000 -> 32:44.560] flexing his muscles trying to show the world he's great and then when you start
[32:44.560 -> 32:48.400] to kind of get there then it's sort of, I don't actually, this doesn't feel
[32:48.400 -> 32:52.680] very comfortable as a place, I don't actually like this. And then, you know,
[32:52.680 -> 32:55.520] when nobody really watched the show, I didn't mind it, but then suddenly people
[32:55.520 -> 32:59.520] started to watch it and then it's like, oh, I struggled more with that.
[32:59.520 -> 33:03.400] And it's why I love taking the shows on to make it about other people, it's why I
[33:03.400 -> 33:09.500] love Running Wild, it's why I love You Vers shows on to make it about other people. It's why I love running wild. It's why I love you versus wild, taking other people, showing other people, helping other people, empowering other people.
[33:09.500 -> 33:16.000] It's why I love my chief scout role, you know, helping, always, always kind of diverting and deflecting, pointing to Johnny,
[33:16.000 -> 33:20.000] who's a hero and this person doing amazing and come on together, we're stronger.
[33:20.000 -> 33:26.240] And, and if anything I found over the years, it's become a process of trying to deconstruct the hero
[33:26.240 -> 33:30.800] you know, because as you say, now I get introduced with these amazing introductions but
[33:30.800 -> 33:36.240] that's the glossy side, the other side of the coin is grubby and pretty ordinary and
[33:36.240 -> 33:40.560] you know, and in a way I feel it's an important part of the show, otherwise
[33:40.560 -> 33:45.320] otherwise everything's so not attainable and also it's not real, you know.
[33:45.320 -> 33:49.240] So Bear, I've heard you talk in the past around the role of Chris Carter,
[33:49.240 -> 33:54.720] one of your leaders when you were in the military. I mean, would you share some of
[33:54.720 -> 33:59.600] the insights that he taught you but equally tell us about what that taught
[33:59.600 -> 34:06.240] you about this deconstructing the hero role? Gosh
[34:03.680 -> 34:10.080] yeah, that goes straight, that goes
[34:06.240 -> 34:12.000] straight to my heart, that's yeah, well
[34:10.080 -> 34:15.280] first of all there was a hero, you know
[34:12.000 -> 34:17.000] there was a hero. Chris was, Chris was my
[34:15.280 -> 34:20.680] first sergeant when I first joined my
[34:17.000 -> 34:25.600] squadron in 21 SAS, a giant of a man,
[34:20.680 -> 34:28.160] gruff, opinionated, hard, but fair and kind and a real influence on
[34:28.160 -> 34:32.920] me I think as a young soldier of how to be, you know, he was, you know, he was quietly
[34:32.920 -> 34:39.400] spoken but saw things, you know, saw things in people and looked out for the right people
[34:39.400 -> 34:45.640] at the right time and I just always remember him once we were in the desert together and we were
[34:45.640 -> 34:53.280] waiting for a resupply of equipment and water and it was overdue, it ended up
[34:53.280 -> 34:57.400] like we were like two or three days overdue and out of water and in this
[34:57.400 -> 35:01.760] hide in the desert you know what they call it LUP, lying at point and we were
[35:01.760 -> 35:08.920] boiling hot and it was like you know and we were rashing our water and I remember finishing mine and Chris had been much
[35:08.920 -> 35:12.720] smarter he'd really rashed it well you know he'd done it better but I was
[35:12.720 -> 35:17.520] really suffering and then we had like a long you know 20k X-field to get to the
[35:17.520 -> 35:22.380] helicopter at night and it was you know just I was really struggling at this
[35:22.380 -> 35:30.520] point and I'd seen him rashing his water and saving it and just being smart and but he could also see how struggling and I just never forget he came
[35:30.520 -> 35:35.720] up to me and we were having a little stop and we were like, you know six hours into this extraction and and
[35:36.240 -> 35:38.800] He just he just took me aside and he said hey, you know
[35:38.800 -> 35:44.520] And he just made me take this last cap of his water, you know that for us at this stage was like gold
[35:44.880 -> 35:48.720] But it wasn't in front of anyone, you know, I said, no, no, I've got it, I've got it, I'm good.
[35:48.720 -> 35:55.120] And he goes, hey, hey, drink the water, you know, and that tiny little capful gave me
[35:55.120 -> 36:00.720] more strength than any water ever could, you know, and Chris was then, sadly, lost
[36:00.720 -> 36:09.280] his life in Afghanistan. And I suppose for for me I always thought the man was pretty immortal you know pretty invincible and it was a reminder that
[36:09.280 -> 36:14.920] life's hard and and things happen and the best often go to young but I always
[36:14.920 -> 36:19.560] I always remember that I thought you know I'm gonna live with try and live
[36:19.560 -> 36:22.360] with a little bit of his spirit.
[36:22.360 -> 36:24.760] If you don't mind talking about it and
[36:24.760 -> 36:26.800] obviously it's difficult, what
[36:26.800 -> 36:31.720] are the elements you gave to your life that you carry with you today? Because I think
[36:31.720 -> 36:36.320] that that is, as you say, that is the best way to remember the people that have had a
[36:36.320 -> 36:41.960] powerful impact upon us. Yeah, I think that's right. I think the answer to that is example,
[36:41.960 -> 36:45.520] you know, and try and serve other people and help other people
[36:45.520 -> 36:51.240] and walk humbly and be hard as snails on the inside when you need to
[36:51.240 -> 36:55.560] but be hard for other people, be, you know, hard not to pump yourself up
[36:55.560 -> 36:59.840] but to protect and do good things for other people and, you know, he was
[36:59.840 -> 37:05.840] certainly no angel, you know, but, you know, had a big heart and wasn't, you know, courage in
[37:05.840 -> 37:09.600] the right moments and I think we live in a world where everyone's very keen to
[37:09.600 -> 37:13.720] show their courage loud and front and center, like back to our Sebastian
[37:13.720 -> 37:18.420] conversation at the start, you know, the person at school with the overconfidence, you
[37:18.420 -> 37:22.680] know, and the wisdom in life and the lesson in life is learning you don't need to
[37:22.680 -> 37:28.520] be like that, you know, it's what you do unseen, quietly and for other people and to
[37:28.520 -> 37:31.180] guard the things that really matter and that's why I come back to that family
[37:31.180 -> 37:35.080] first thing. It's, you know, it's easy to be a hero publicly when people only see
[37:35.080 -> 37:39.040] 5% of something. But I always say if you want to know what someone's
[37:39.040 -> 37:54.600] really like, ask their kids, ask their wife. And what would your children say about you then Bear, if we were to ask them? Flawed, flawed. I don't know, I hope ultimately that you know for
[37:54.600 -> 37:58.480] me it's a clear goal I want to be I want to be a great dad for you know and and
[37:58.480 -> 38:01.960] good husband first and foremost and and the reason I work hard and I've been
[38:01.960 -> 38:08.120] ambitious in my work and I've gone for it and I've tried to be resilient is ultimately for that. I wanted to
[38:08.120 -> 38:12.560] provide well for the family and have that but I do try and guard those
[38:12.560 -> 38:16.360] relationships. I mean I think if you ask them what do I stand for?
[38:16.360 -> 38:21.720] They would roll their eyes and go, oh NGU, never give up. They roll
[38:21.720 -> 38:25.420] their eyes because they've heard it ten times a day since they've been kids
[38:25.420 -> 38:33.020] But I don't apologize for that, you know and long after I'm gone when they're telling stories to their grandkids one day about great-grandpa
[38:33.020 -> 38:37.620] Yeah, I don't mind if that's my if that's the that's it
[38:37.620 -> 38:42.820] you know have a never give up spirit because it conquers all as you go as
[38:43.820 -> 39:08.280] A person with a very deep voice. I'm hired all the time for advertising campaigns it conquers all in one place.
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[41:22.080 -> 41:28.080] One of the things that I like the most about your career, Bear, is the diversity. And
[41:28.080 -> 41:32.600] you've created some amazing things. So I'm interested, what do you consider to be the
[41:32.600 -> 41:36.480] three most critical factors when you're taking on a project, whether that is a book, whether
[41:36.480 -> 41:41.400] it's scaling a mountain, whether it's working out, or whether it's just spending time with
[41:41.400 -> 41:45.200] the people that you truly love? What are the three most critical factors in that?
[41:45.200 -> 41:48.160] And I'm also interested in what are the most common mistakes
[41:48.160 -> 41:51.200] that people make as well when taking on new projects?
[41:51.200 -> 41:54.640] I think choosing a right team, you know, is so important.
[41:54.640 -> 41:57.000] I truly feel I stand on the shoulders of giants
[41:57.000 -> 41:58.320] in so many areas, you know,
[41:58.320 -> 42:01.360] whether it's the Kris Carters or the, you know,
[42:01.360 -> 42:04.620] many early people who believed in me in the TV world
[42:04.620 -> 42:08.120] when I certainly didn't believe in myself you know I look back to our first ever
[42:08.120 -> 42:13.320] producer who had to persuade me three times I said no to TV and he goes no you
[42:13.320 -> 42:17.360] should do it I go I don't know about TV I'm not a TV person he's gonna do it you
[42:17.360 -> 42:20.520] know and I think back and I go what an idiot I was saying no you know it's an
[42:20.520 -> 42:24.360] opportunity I should have grabbed that and and I got lucky and and I actually
[42:24.360 -> 42:27.500] you know I didn't see him for many, many years, this guy, Rob
[42:27.500 -> 42:33.040] McIver, a producer, and I rang him last year and I said I just want to say thank you
[42:33.040 -> 42:36.240] really, you know, we stand on the shoulders of giants and you've been one
[42:36.240 -> 42:41.080] of them for me and I want to say, you know, thank you and he said, Bev, you've
[42:41.080 -> 42:46.280] been drinking. Had you been drinking? Well you been drinking well, I might have I might have a couple
[42:46.920 -> 42:51.000] But I just wanted you know what I mean, but so team I think having great people around you
[42:51.000 -> 42:54.040] I've done that I've I've known the valley for many years now of that
[42:54.040 -> 42:58.860] It's why such credit to our TV team that you know our safety team we work with
[42:58.880 -> 43:05.640] You know the team I work with now I even look at our BMF, our BMilitary Fitness Company, I think the
[43:05.640 -> 43:11.560] great value in so many areas of my life is a community we've built of like-minded, motivated,
[43:11.560 -> 43:17.440] kind, positive people who've got your back. And as you guys know, that is huge currency
[43:17.440 -> 43:22.760] in life, huge currency, people who've got your back, who will encourage you when you're
[43:22.760 -> 43:28.920] struggling. So I'd say that is a key one when taking on big projects. I think having your priorities right, you know,
[43:28.920 -> 43:32.520] for me it's all, you know, the family first thing is key. Don't get dragged
[43:32.520 -> 43:37.000] away for too long for too little, you know, just saying actually is that
[43:37.000 -> 43:40.160] right, who's really winning out of this one, let's look at this. And certainly for
[43:40.160 -> 43:44.720] me I made many mistakes like that in the early days of TV. You know, I came from a
[43:44.720 -> 43:46.000] background, you know, certainly through the military stuff, people asked a favor, for me I made many mistakes like that in the early days of TV. I came from a background
[43:46.000 -> 43:49.880] certainly through the military stuff, people asked a favour, you'd go the extra mile for
[43:49.880 -> 43:53.760] it so suddenly when we had TV producers go, oh it's just a favour, could we do this, could
[43:53.760 -> 43:59.040] we do that and push for that, I go but that's a boys half term and I promise you we wouldn't
[43:59.040 -> 44:02.760] do that but if it's a real favour I'll do it and then you do it and there's damage at
[44:02.760 -> 44:05.880] home and then six months later the TV producer leaves anyway
[44:05.880 -> 44:08.440] And you're left feeling like well, hold on what what was that for?
[44:08.440 -> 44:13.880] That was actually for his career not for me and and you learn and you smarten up and people struggle to say no
[44:14.000 -> 44:19.780] They struggle to say no and it's been a key a key lesson to keep your priorities, but learning say no
[44:20.680 -> 44:27.800] Comes from knowing your priorities if you know your priorities family first, you know, you gotta, I mean for us we have it clear in our offices of like,
[44:27.800 -> 44:31.200] you know, you've got to be safe, there's no point, you know, there's no point
[44:31.200 -> 44:35.920] dying, you know, that's a waste. It's got to be fun, it's got to be not too long
[44:35.920 -> 44:39.680] away from my family, it's got to be empowering for other people what we do,
[44:39.680 -> 44:43.400] and then it's got to pay well. But you know, the pay well's down at five or six
[44:43.400 -> 44:45.520] in the list really, and we know if we
[44:45.520 -> 44:47.140] Look after the others
[44:47.140 -> 44:51.100] Well, the money doesn't actually always follow but at least you're working to your priorities
[44:51.100 -> 44:56.220] You know, that's the thing and you guard the things that actually are of most value to you
[44:56.220 -> 45:02.100] I saw an article bear where you said that integrity matters and few friendships carry you a long way
[45:02.540 -> 45:05.240] So I'm talking to the people that you work with before we recorded today a ddau ffrindiaethau i'ch gyrraedd. Felly, o'r bobl rydych chi'n siarad â'n hynny,
[45:05.240 -> 45:06.880] cyn i ni recordio heddiw,
[45:06.880 -> 45:08.400] yw'n rhan fach,
[45:08.400 -> 45:11.600] ac mae'n deimlo bod cyfartal arall yn bwysig.
[45:11.600 -> 45:13.320] Felly, rydw i'n mwynhau,
[45:13.320 -> 45:15.000] sut ydych chi'n dewis y bobl
[45:15.000 -> 45:17.760] rydych chi'n eu cymryd i ddod i'ch rhwngolau gyntaf?
[45:17.760 -> 45:18.960] Ac sut ydych chi'n ymddiriedig â'r rhai
[45:18.960 -> 45:21.080] sydd efallai yn amlwg yn eich llwyrio
[45:21.080 -> 45:22.560] a'i ddod o'r ffordd?
[45:22.560 -> 45:29.720] Yn gyntaf, rhai o'r rhan fawr o'n rhanfeydd rydyn ni a'n rhanfeydd wedi'u gwneud ychydig o'r ffordd, sometimes let you down and betray that trust? First of all some of the best team members we have in our team have messed up royally along the way you know in the
[45:29.720 -> 45:33.600] old days and I think forgiveness for all of us is so important you know I think
[45:33.600 -> 45:38.360] we're not looking for perfect people you know we're looking for people we like
[45:38.360 -> 45:41.640] and we trust and we believe have our back and that thing of integrity
[45:41.640 -> 45:47.860] integrity doesn't mean somebody's perfect you know because I am far from it you know my stuff is a
[45:47.860 -> 45:51.820] long list and I wouldn't want many cupboards to be opened you know so but
[45:51.820 -> 45:56.620] it's about trying to be honest and sharing the vulnerabilities
[45:56.620 -> 46:00.420] and having you know as you know when you're honest with someone you build
[46:00.420 -> 46:04.060] bonds and when there's bonds there's strength and there's connection so we
[46:04.060 -> 46:07.920] have I always say to all of our teams, it's, we're a band of fallen warriors,
[46:08.640 -> 46:14.240] you know, flawed and full of a lot of Murdochs and Mavericks and BA Braavises, you know,
[46:14.240 -> 46:19.200] kind of wild and difficult and opinionated and, but you know, they have your back.
[46:19.200 -> 46:21.520] So I think that is a key one. Yeah.
[46:21.520 -> 46:23.760] Toby Vallisteros Love that. We're going to finish with some
[46:23.760 -> 46:26.760] quickfire questions in a second, but before we get to that,
[46:26.760 -> 46:28.760] one other area that I'm really interested to explore
[46:28.760 -> 46:30.440] is when you've got so many things
[46:30.440 -> 46:32.200] and you wear so many different hats,
[46:32.200 -> 46:34.760] what can you do to make sure that the quality
[46:34.760 -> 46:36.640] of everything that bears your name,
[46:36.640 -> 46:40.400] which is so important, is the quality that you would expect?
[46:40.400 -> 46:41.920] Yeah, yeah, it's a good question.
[46:41.920 -> 46:45.540] I think in terms of, you know, we do, you know, I
[46:45.540 -> 46:49.380] look at the things we're involved with and I think learning to say no, you
[46:49.380 -> 46:54.700] said it, is key. Not doing it for the money, doing it because you'd do this for
[46:54.700 -> 46:59.200] no money, you know, I think that's been a good indicator, maybe not for
[46:59.200 -> 47:02.080] everyone's world, but for my world it's a good one. Would I do this if it paid
[47:02.080 -> 47:07.920] nothing? I look at being Chief Scout and I go 100% well it does pay nothing but that one I would definitely
[47:07.920 -> 47:13.040] you know do I look at our BMS stuff. That's hard for people that haven't had success isn't it that's one of the challenges.
[47:13.040 -> 47:16.800] That's why I say that but you asked for me you know how do I
[47:16.800 -> 47:20.720] approach it now and in a way where we get lots of offers a lot but I do I do
[47:20.720 -> 47:24.480] look at it like that but I do also think when it comes to money stuff I think
[47:24.480 -> 47:28.280] often it's like a butterfly if you just chase it you know whatever level of
[47:28.280 -> 47:32.920] you know you're at if you chase it often flies away and sometimes when you stop
[47:32.920 -> 47:36.200] and you just focus on doing what you love and doing it with heart and
[47:36.200 -> 47:40.120] integrity and passion and resilience and with a great team and you're gonna put
[47:40.120 -> 47:44.240] all hours and and everything into this with a smile on your face how often do
[47:44.240 -> 47:45.680] we see then
[47:45.680 -> 47:51.160] that the financial success actually does follow? So I think it does go broader. But for me
[47:51.160 -> 47:58.160] now I look at our Be Military Fit stuff, I love that. For me it's a service thing of
[47:58.160 -> 48:02.960] supporting veterans, I love it, I love that community. I look at our theme park stuff,
[48:02.960 -> 48:08.540] we now just put everything back into that to get to fund, you know, disadvantaged kids
[48:08.540 -> 48:11.440] and disabled kids and charities and kids to be able to get them to that.
[48:11.440 -> 48:12.440] I love that.
[48:12.440 -> 48:15.000] That is worth more than anything for me, you know, I love those things.
[48:15.000 -> 48:18.420] So, you know, we try and approach it like that.
[48:18.420 -> 48:22.640] And then you only need a few one or two winners that is going to pay really well and that
[48:22.640 -> 48:23.880] kind of covers other stuff.
[48:23.880 -> 48:29.000] So I look now and I think what's actually going to make all of us as a team, you know,
[48:29.000 -> 48:34.740] and it's a small but mighty team that helped me now in many areas, but what really motivating
[48:34.740 -> 48:39.460] for them and for myself is to try and empower other people with stuff.
[48:39.460 -> 48:43.240] And I think the worldly success will, God willing, follow that.
[48:43.240 -> 48:45.480] And if it doesn't, that's okay as well, you know,
[48:45.480 -> 48:48.880] but let's keep the mission about empowering other people
[48:48.880 -> 48:51.400] and giving them tools and things
[48:51.400 -> 48:53.240] that are gonna help them in their life.
[48:53.240 -> 48:54.840] And you've done that with Be Military Fit.
[48:54.840 -> 48:56.880] I was looking at the amazing statistics
[48:56.880 -> 49:01.280] of how much you've increased females being successful
[49:01.280 -> 49:02.800] in their pursuit of a military career
[49:02.800 -> 49:04.880] through Be Military Fit.
[49:04.880 -> 49:08.600] Could you share with our listeners, because I think that what creates a
[49:08.600 -> 49:12.040] successful military career are actually the skills that we can all employ in our
[49:12.040 -> 49:16.720] everyday lives. What are the things that are being passed on to the people that
[49:16.720 -> 49:19.880] are taking part in Be Military Fit that's having such an impact that maybe
[49:19.880 -> 49:24.400] our listeners can also learn from? BMF is a veteran-born sort of
[49:24.400 -> 49:25.080] company and
[49:25.080 -> 49:27.960] people often think it's just for military guys but it's not, it's military
[49:27.960 -> 49:33.120] inspired people as trainers reaching out into the community and the power of
[49:33.120 -> 49:38.760] it is that it's community, it's together, you're doing it whether you're
[49:38.760 -> 49:41.600] old, whether you're young, whether you've ever done fitness before, whether you're
[49:41.600 -> 49:47.200] a super athlete, everybody coming together, being outside. I think the last two years have taught us
[49:47.200 -> 49:49.280] the importance of being together
[49:49.280 -> 49:52.760] with people we love and trust and have our backs outside,
[49:52.760 -> 49:54.800] in the fresh air, in the sunlight.
[49:54.800 -> 49:57.800] You know, and I see that really change people's
[49:57.800 -> 49:59.720] mental health as much as their physical health.
[49:59.720 -> 50:02.160] I get letters all day and emails
[50:02.160 -> 50:08.760] from people you'd never think would do this sort of training but they love it and it's because they're not stuck
[50:08.760 -> 50:13.320] solitary in a gym under white light with people posing and tensing their muscles.
[50:13.320 -> 50:16.160] They're outside, they're laughing, they're in the mud and there's something about
[50:16.160 -> 50:20.280] that kind of inner resilience that we started off this podcast talking about
[50:20.280 -> 50:23.760] that gets built when you're laughing and you're in the rain, you're
[50:23.760 -> 50:29.540] cold and you've had to dig a little bit deep to go at six in the morning or six in the evening after
[50:29.540 -> 50:34.160] work and go to the park. But then you're laughing and then you're in it and you're with other
[50:34.160 -> 50:40.480] people and you're outside. And for me it's as much about helping people live strong lives
[50:40.480 -> 50:46.400] inside as much as it is the outer muscles. and that's what I love about that.
[50:46.400 -> 50:51.440] And the stuff we're doing for the army recruits has just been a, it's really a fruit of that
[50:51.440 -> 50:52.720] sort of spirit.
[50:52.720 -> 50:57.840] You know, we now do all the recruit training for young people about to join the army.
[50:57.840 -> 51:02.140] They go through our program and the army know they arrive now fit for purpose and the numbers
[51:02.140 -> 51:08.480] passing has gone through the roof and especially as you say with with women and it's wonderful to see but ultimately
[51:08.480 -> 51:11.760] it always comes back to the same thing. They're doing better because they're
[51:11.760 -> 51:15.960] smiling, they're happy and they're going for it with somebody as part of a group
[51:15.960 -> 51:21.320] in a community. Toby Vallisteris- So Bear, we finish our interviews with quickfire questions so the
[51:21.320 -> 51:26.880] first one is what are the three non-negotiable behaviours that
[51:24.320 -> 51:30.880] you and everyone around you has to buy
[51:26.880 -> 51:32.720] into? First of all nobody has to buy it,
[51:30.880 -> 51:35.360] they don't, it's not a
[51:32.720 -> 51:37.840] dictatorship, you know, I think we're all
[51:35.360 -> 51:39.200] individual, respect the individual, but I
[51:37.840 -> 51:41.840] would say the three things that stand
[51:39.200 -> 51:43.440] out in all we do, try to stand out, there's
[51:41.840 -> 51:45.040] none more of that family first, you know,
[51:43.440 -> 51:49.720] I come back to it but I don't apologise for it. I think the faith element in my life has been really important,
[51:49.720 -> 51:55.320] just a quiet kind of backbone to help me through the good and the bad times. I try and start
[51:55.320 -> 52:00.040] every day just on my knees saying, you know, call it meditation, call it prayer, call it
[52:00.040 -> 52:04.480] what you like, but I kneel down before the Almighty and say sorry, say thank you and
[52:04.480 -> 52:09.560] ask for help. And then the third one is another F, so we've got family, faith and the third
[52:09.560 -> 52:14.900] one's fun, you know, it's got to be fun, you know, we're in a super privileged position,
[52:14.900 -> 52:19.840] you know, it's got to be fun, you know, you can't be lucky and be ungrateful and be morose,
[52:19.840 -> 52:24.200] you know, I'd be so unfortunate. But I look back again and that attitude for me was there
[52:24.200 -> 52:25.120] from the beginning, you know,
[52:25.120 -> 52:28.780] when I talked about my mum's birthday, pulling out the school reports, there it was.
[52:28.960 -> 52:34.880] Young grills is happy-go-lucky attitude is only going to get him so far in life, you know, Latin teacher, Mr.
[52:34.880 -> 52:36.880] Shorthand Jones, 1987.
[52:37.000 -> 52:42.560] But actually it carries people far and you've got to keep it fun and you've got to be able to laugh at yourself and
[52:43.040 -> 52:44.840] laugh at tough situations.
[52:44.840 -> 52:45.280] So those three things have been key. got to keep it fun and you've got to be able to laugh at yourself and laugh at tough situations.
[52:45.280 -> 52:47.600] So those three things have been key.
[52:47.600 -> 52:51.960] If you could go back to one period in your life, where would you go and why?
[52:51.960 -> 52:58.120] I think the days, the few days after I passed SAS selection were special for me. You know,
[52:58.120 -> 53:03.840] they were kind of young, free, unbridled and with my best buddy and we'd come through so
[53:03.840 -> 53:10.240] much. It had been a long, tough year, I'd failed selection for the Special Forces first time you know
[53:10.240 -> 53:14.600] so it made it even sweeter getting it at the end. I think the magic for those days
[53:14.600 -> 53:19.920] was that it it was a birth of a quiet confidence and we again we talked about
[53:19.920 -> 53:24.400] this but it was the birth of real confidence rather than kind of anything
[53:24.400 -> 53:28.480] else that actually I could do this you know I can do this when the chips are
[53:28.480 -> 53:32.960] down I've proved myself got you know I've got it and and that was that kind
[53:32.960 -> 53:36.840] of attitudes helped me so much and once I was there I was never gonna live that
[53:36.840 -> 53:40.960] down you know and we went through many tougher times afterwards and after I
[53:40.960 -> 53:48.240] left the military and other difficult moments but I knew that I got it I kind kind of felt you know what I've showed, I proved to myself it's good
[53:48.240 -> 53:51.640] just focus on doing the things and smiling when it's raining and being
[53:51.640 -> 53:54.520] resilient and when everyone's throwing in the towel you pick yourself up, you go
[53:54.520 -> 53:58.480] harder and this is your chance to shine and those simple things were spoken
[53:58.480 -> 54:03.600] about but it was all born in those those days and that person I passed with out
[54:03.600 -> 54:05.160] of the four of us that
[54:05.160 -> 54:10.240] were stood there at the end 120 of us started SAS selection, four at the end
[54:10.240 -> 54:13.580] and they're still my you know best buddies to this day.
[54:13.580 -> 54:16.740] WhatsApp group never stops pinging, I love it.
[54:16.740 -> 54:19.240] What's the biggest sacrifice you've ever made?
[54:19.240 -> 54:24.160] I think in the early days definitely of having a family and working hard I was I
[54:24.160 -> 54:26.240] was away a lot you know
[54:26.240 -> 54:32.420] in our early years of marriage and when our boys were small you know but would I do that
[54:32.420 -> 54:38.680] differently maybe I think you know I do feel I was doing my time and I was you know we
[54:38.680 -> 54:42.340] had no ownership of the shows and we were run ragged dawn to dusk and almost died a
[54:42.340 -> 54:46.960] hundred times and all of that you know but I was doing my time and it was in a way,
[54:46.960 -> 54:48.080] a good time to work hard.
[54:48.080 -> 54:50.320] And then it's allowed us to pull back more control now
[54:50.320 -> 54:54.540] and to be able to have a clear articulation of family first.
[54:54.540 -> 54:58.140] But I think in those days, Shara shouldered a lot for us.
[54:58.140 -> 55:00.160] She is truly one of the, you know,
[55:00.160 -> 55:01.960] when I talk about giants in my life,
[55:01.960 -> 55:03.600] she's been one of them.
[55:03.600 -> 55:06.360] Finally, Bet, and this is kind of your last message,
[55:06.360 -> 55:09.240] I guess, to the people that have listened to this episode,
[55:09.240 -> 55:11.360] which has been fantastic.
[55:11.360 -> 55:14.040] What is your one golden rule to those listening to this,
[55:14.040 -> 55:15.540] to live a high performance life?
[55:15.540 -> 55:17.620] The final thing you'd like to leave them with?
[55:17.620 -> 55:20.080] Well, I think like with my kids, I think the NGU.
[55:20.080 -> 55:21.620] If I was ever going to get a tattoo,
[55:21.620 -> 55:25.360] which Shara would divorce me she said, although
[55:25.360 -> 55:29.480] I'm quite tempted, it would probably be never give up. You know, I think it's, you
[55:29.480 -> 55:32.840] know, don't be scared of those failures, you know, they are key, like we said
[55:32.840 -> 55:36.800] they're the stepping stones, you got to go through them. You know, it's that thing
[55:36.800 -> 55:41.680] of don't let success go to your head or failure go to your heart. I always
[55:41.680 -> 55:47.760] like that but ultimately know that the currency for you of real value,
[55:47.760 -> 55:53.240] you know, it's not the Bitcoin or the whatever, it's that never give up resilient attitude,
[55:53.240 -> 55:57.240] you know. And the great thing about life is that all those things we talked about with
[55:57.240 -> 56:01.800] Sebastian at the beginning, you know, about good looking, sporty, academic people at school,
[56:01.800 -> 56:05.280] those are all natural talents but never give up spirit
[56:05.280 -> 56:10.160] is a muscle all of us can train. It doesn't matter, it's not a God-given thing. You only
[56:10.160 -> 56:14.400] get it by practicing it and by failing lots and I like that because it's a
[56:14.400 -> 56:17.960] it's a leveller. So I would say that, NGU.
[56:17.960 -> 56:24.720] What a brilliant way to finish. Bear, thank you so much. I just get the sense that in a world where it feels ever more like we're
[56:24.720 -> 56:26.560] prioritizing and celebrating all of the wrong things
[56:27.240 -> 56:29.920] You're someone who has had incredible success
[56:30.480 -> 56:33.000] Yeah at the heart of it all the priorities remain
[56:33.600 -> 56:37.680] Absolutely, right and you know for you to come on here and really tell the truth about
[56:38.080 -> 56:41.280] People who are in a fortunate position like you are that it isn't
[56:41.840 -> 56:47.240] Waking up every day in a bed of roses with people peeling grapes and telling you how amazing you are. I think it's powerful
[56:47.240 -> 56:51.100] for people to hear that because we're sending out the wrong messages a lot of
[56:51.100 -> 56:55.160] the time and our job on this podcast is to try and change that. So thank you so
[56:55.160 -> 56:56.600] much for such valuable insight.
[56:56.600 -> 56:58.000] Toby Richardson Yeah, thank you. Thank you for having me on.
[56:58.000 -> 57:01.360] Jamie Green
[57:01.360 -> 57:08.080] Damien, Jake, I think that is up there with the most inspiring conversations I think we've had
[57:08.080 -> 57:09.080] on this podcast.
[57:09.080 -> 57:13.960] And you get the real sense that, I suppose what I was thinking, right, is that we see
[57:13.960 -> 57:17.960] the Bear Grylls, not necessarily he wants us to see, we see the Bear Grylls at the TV
[57:17.960 -> 57:23.760] execs and the authors and the social media managers and the channel controllers and the,
[57:23.760 -> 57:25.520] all those people want us to see, you know, the lovely glitzy, glossy short shots of him y cyfansoddwyr cymdeithasol a'r controlaethau canoligol, a'r holl bobl hynny eisiau i ni weld.
[57:25.520 -> 57:27.760] Y gwyliadau glits, gloss,
[57:27.760 -> 57:29.920] o'i gweithio i gyd yn holl bethau anhygoel.
[57:29.920 -> 57:32.320] Ac rwy'n credu bod yr hyn rydyn ni'n ei weld heddiw
[57:32.320 -> 57:34.600] yn begrwydd gwahanol.
[57:34.600 -> 57:36.000] Yn unig, ie.
[57:36.000 -> 57:37.840] Y rhan honno, rydw i wedi ei ddewis yn ystod
[57:37.840 -> 57:38.640] pan oedd yn dweud, Jake,
[57:38.640 -> 57:40.880] yw, dwi ddim yn hoffi succes i'ch gynnydd,
[57:40.880 -> 57:43.080] ond dwi ddim yn hoffi ffailio i'ch gynnydd.
[57:43.080 -> 57:45.360] Rwy'n credu yw rhywbeth y gall unrhyw un sy'n clywed hynny gael ei gymryd pwysau yma ar y nifer honno, go to your head but don't let failure go to your heart' I think is something that anyone listening
[57:45.360 -> 57:50.880] to this can take away wherever they are on that scale of if things are going well stay humble,
[57:50.880 -> 57:57.440] if things are going wrong don't take it personal but learn from it and that's a message that
[57:57.440 -> 58:02.960] resonates across generations, across races, across nations. Yeah there's loads of things I've
[58:02.960 -> 58:07.740] written down actually from that from that conversation. What was your favourite one that he said? I really
[58:07.740 -> 58:10.760] like it actually when he talks about he starts every day with a prayer and he
[58:10.760 -> 58:15.320] and it was less that he starts every day with a prayer, it was more
[58:15.320 -> 58:20.400] that he starts every day by just saying sorry and thank you and can I help?
[58:20.400 -> 58:24.120] Because I kind of get the impression that that is the message he gives off to
[58:24.120 -> 58:27.620] every person he meets and every business deal that he has, you know.
[58:27.620 -> 58:31.720] He'll, he will always apologise if he hasn't got it right. He will always say
[58:31.720 -> 58:34.720] thank you because that's the kind of person he is, but the final one, can I
[58:34.720 -> 58:39.800] help? You know, he really, he's lived a life of service, hasn't he? And even now
[58:39.800 -> 58:43.680] it is a life of service and I know cynics will listen to this going, shut up you idiot.
[58:43.680 -> 59:05.920] He's on a TV show watched by billions, that's not ayd o gynnyrch. Ac rwy'n gwybod bod cynnigion yn clywed at hwn, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, ychydig, yome o'r hyn y mae leolygiaeth ym mhobl ifanc yn ei chyflawni,
[59:05.920 -> 59:09.360] rydych chi'n gweithio i'w dylunio. Ac rwy'n credu mai dyna'r hyn y mae'n ei wneud,
[59:09.360 -> 59:13.680] oherwydd yw pobl yn y campaign ym mhobl ifanc, neu os yw'n ceisio
[59:13.680 -> 59:18.320] ato-dynodi'r generaeth sy'n dod i'n ôl i ni. Rydych chi'n unig yn iawn, rwy'n credu
[59:18.320 -> 59:24.400] bod y cyd-dwylo a'r ddewis, yn ddod o'r iawn, yn ddewis.
[59:27.640 -> 59:23.360] that will it that gratitude a powerful
[59:29.480 -> 59:27.640] powerful combination. Okay now Damien as
[59:30.560 -> 59:29.480] you know we love it when people reach out
[59:32.480 -> 59:30.560] to us share their thoughts on the
[59:34.320 -> 59:32.480] podcast if you're listening to this and
[59:35.920 -> 59:34.320] you haven't either rated or reviewed the
[59:37.520 -> 59:35.920] pod or pinged us a message on Instagram
[59:39.440 -> 59:37.520] we'd love you to do that we love hearing
[59:41.000 -> 59:39.440] from you we also love him from people's
[59:44.440 -> 59:41.000] wives as well because that's what
[59:47.360 -> 59:44.440] happened last week listen to this hi I
[59:46.280 -> 59:50.760] love your podcast, truly inspiring, but I wanted to write to you about my husband and I wondered if you'd ever interview
[59:50.760 -> 59:55.880] someone who is a non-celebrity but who's achieving stroke achieved remarkable things while just
[59:55.880 -> 01:00:01.160] living his normal day-to-day life as a husband and as a dad, but whose drive, determination
[01:00:01.160 -> 01:00:05.360] and self-belief is making his every day high-performing.
[01:00:05.360 -> 01:00:09.200] He's a normal guy from Doncaster who left school with no qualifications but who served
[01:00:09.200 -> 01:00:15.360] his country as a Royal Marine, worked for MI5 and then left to open a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
[01:00:15.360 -> 01:00:21.120] academy which even in Covid has become the second fastest growing academy in the world.
[01:00:21.120 -> 01:00:26.040] On top of this in December he will row solo across the Atlantic to raise over
[01:00:26.040 -> 01:00:30.760] £70,000 for Leeds Children's Hospital, as both our boys were born dangerously early.
[01:00:30.760 -> 01:00:36.600] He's a normal guy, doing extraordinary things, driven only by his own self-belief. How wonderful
[01:00:36.600 -> 01:00:41.600] would it be for your listeners to hear his story too, as a normal dad and husband, nothing
[01:00:41.600 -> 01:00:45.720] is ever out of reach. And here he is. Mike, welcome to High Performance.
[01:00:45.720 -> 01:00:50.160] Thanks for having me, Jake. Wow, that was a bit of a bit of an email, wasn't it?
[01:00:50.160 -> 01:00:53.720] Just tell you, Mike, that Jake and I have both just conceded alpha male status to you
[01:00:53.720 -> 01:00:58.760] on this call. We also know that you wrote it and pretended it was your wife.
[01:00:58.760 -> 01:01:02.600] That's exactly what I did. I'm not married. I'm not even married. No kids. Just made it
[01:01:02.600 -> 01:01:03.600] all up.
[01:01:03.600 -> 01:01:05.880] No, look, all right, let's get serious then.
[01:01:05.880 -> 01:01:07.440] Obviously your wife is a big fan of yours
[01:01:07.440 -> 01:01:10.160] and it's lovely that she felt that she could do that
[01:01:10.160 -> 01:01:12.360] and she could reach out to us.
[01:01:12.360 -> 01:01:13.920] If I'm someone listening to this
[01:01:13.920 -> 01:01:17.320] and I read about working for MI5
[01:01:17.320 -> 01:01:19.520] or serving as a Royal Marine
[01:01:19.520 -> 01:01:21.260] and then wanting to row across the Atlantic
[01:01:21.260 -> 01:01:24.280] or opening your Jiu-Jitsu Academy,
[01:01:24.280 -> 01:01:28.500] yes, we can learn a lot from billionaires, CEOs and professional athletes and things.
[01:01:28.700 -> 01:01:34.000] But I think I would love to know from you, what do you think it is that means you,
[01:01:34.000 -> 01:01:37.100] A, believe you can do all this and B, make it happen?
[01:01:38.800 -> 01:01:42.400] Um, well, I mean, listening to your podcast, I've thought about this a lot.
[01:01:42.400 -> 01:01:47.760] I think that's why Sarah probably wrote in because a lot of what we hear you guys talk about
[01:01:47.760 -> 01:01:50.040] is, has made me reflect and realize
[01:01:50.040 -> 01:01:51.440] just what I've been doing.
[01:01:51.440 -> 01:01:54.600] And, you know, let's get this out there now.
[01:01:54.600 -> 01:01:57.560] She didn't write in to kind of brag about what I've done.
[01:01:57.560 -> 01:02:00.600] I think she really wanted to try and inspire some people
[01:02:00.600 -> 01:02:02.800] who perhaps still feel,
[01:02:02.800 -> 01:02:06.400] even though your podcast talks about it a lot, still feels perhaps
[01:02:06.400 -> 01:02:11.920] that those celebrities or Olympians are kind of out of reach. I think ultimately for me,
[01:02:12.480 -> 01:02:18.640] it's about having purpose and a meaning and setting goals consistently and then just working
[01:02:18.640 -> 01:02:22.640] towards them. I think it is that simple, provided you're moving forward on a path,
[01:02:23.680 -> 01:02:25.840] you can create opportunities and then you've got to take them of course, but without that journey, yw'r holl ddifrif. Yn y blynyddoedd rydych chi'n mynd ymlaen ar y peth, gallwch creu cyfleoedd ac yna
[01:02:25.840 -> 01:02:29.360] rhaid i chi eu cymryd wrth gwrs, ond heb y byd hwnnw, heb y golau, rydych chi'n
[01:02:29.360 -> 01:02:34.000] yn standio'n unig. Felly, dweud wrthym am y byd a'r proses y byddwch chi'n
[01:02:34.000 -> 01:02:38.240] ymwneud âd-gyfathrebu, Mike, o gyrraedd ymlaen dros y Llanelli yn y
[01:02:38.240 -> 01:02:42.560] ddegawd ym mis hwnnw. Felly, dweud wrthym am y pwrpas a'r sut rydych chi wedi sefydlu golau arno.
[01:02:42.560 -> 01:02:46.360] Iawn, wel, rwy'n were born very, very early. Um,
[01:02:46.400 -> 01:02:49.840] 10 years ago, my youngest boy was born 11 weeks premise.
[01:02:49.840 -> 01:02:52.720] So he needed a lot of help and he had meningitis. He was very, very sick.
[01:02:53.160 -> 01:02:58.160] And it was at that time that I realised that a lot of the funding for the
[01:02:58.160 -> 01:03:02.440] NHS doesn't actually support some of the critical care in terms of
[01:03:02.760 -> 01:03:05.520] staffing and technology as well. And I
[01:03:05.520 -> 01:03:09.440] knew I wanted to do something tangible so immediately after I did some charity
[01:03:09.440 -> 01:03:12.240] stuff and raised a couple of grand but I wanted to do something big, something that
[01:03:12.240 -> 01:03:16.760] could actually provide something for a family that would make them not suffer
[01:03:16.760 -> 01:03:21.440] like we did. So I mean you're not gonna raise seventy hundred thousand quid
[01:03:21.440 -> 01:03:24.960] doing Lean to 10k so it had to be something big and I stumbled across
[01:03:24.960 -> 01:03:25.400] Ocean Rowing. I'm not, I'm 5'8", I So it had to be something big and I stumbled across ocean
[01:03:25.400 -> 01:03:30.760] rowing. I'm not, I'm 5'8", I'm not built like a rower, I'm no James Cracknell and I'm not
[01:03:30.760 -> 01:03:35.680] a massive fan of deep open water either. So both those things made me interested in it
[01:03:35.680 -> 01:03:40.440] because I always try and pick goals which are perceivably out of reach. And also the
[01:03:40.440 -> 01:03:45.320] fact that it's a massive project to row it solo. It's a two and a half year campaign.
[01:03:45.320 -> 01:03:46.960] So that was the purpose.
[01:03:46.960 -> 01:03:48.360] I've been at this now for 18 months.
[01:03:48.360 -> 01:03:51.240] I sacrificed a career in MI5, as we spoke about,
[01:03:51.240 -> 01:03:52.080] to do this as well.
[01:03:52.080 -> 01:03:54.520] So it means a lot.
[01:03:54.520 -> 01:03:57.360] So tell us about your relationship with failure
[01:03:57.360 -> 01:03:59.000] when things don't go the way you want.
[01:03:59.000 -> 01:04:01.440] And often this can be even harder
[01:04:01.440 -> 01:04:03.000] when you have a real purpose to something
[01:04:03.000 -> 01:04:07.920] because the desire and the desperation to be successful is so great. It's not just like, oh, well, I'll try something
[01:04:07.920 -> 01:04:12.960] else. You know, you want to achieve this target. So what are your tips for people listening to
[01:04:12.960 -> 01:04:18.320] this when it comes to failure and struggle? I don't see failure, really. I don't, I don't
[01:04:18.320 -> 01:04:23.840] recognize it really as a, as a thing. I feel like whenever obstacles are placed in your way,
[01:04:23.840 -> 01:04:25.840] there's an opportunity there for you to decide
[01:04:25.840 -> 01:04:27.040] how you move forward with that
[01:04:27.040 -> 01:04:29.360] and whether or not you choose failure.
[01:04:29.360 -> 01:04:30.520] And that's, I think it's a choice
[01:04:30.520 -> 01:04:33.120] and you can choose it and pack it in,
[01:04:33.120 -> 01:04:34.960] or you can actually see it as another opportunity
[01:04:34.960 -> 01:04:36.440] or a bend in the road.
[01:04:36.440 -> 01:04:37.280] There's always an opportunity.
[01:04:37.280 -> 01:04:39.240] I don't believe failure actually exists.
[01:04:39.240 -> 01:04:40.480] I think it's a perspective.
[01:04:40.480 -> 01:04:42.680] And there's a great saying, Mike,
[01:04:42.680 -> 01:04:44.480] around that everything that happens to you
[01:04:44.480 -> 01:04:46.000] brings you to the moment that you're in. So when you look back over the career that you've had, Mae yna ddweud gwych, Mike, o gwmpas pawb sy'n digwydd i chi, sy'n cyrraedd y moment y byddwch chi'n ei chyflawni.
[01:04:46.000 -> 01:04:54.000] Felly pan edrych chi'n ôl i'r carrer y mae gennych, oherwydd yw hwn y M4A, oherwydd yw MI5 ar y Ysgol Jiu-Jitsu,
[01:04:54.000 -> 01:05:01.000] pa o'r gwirioneddau sydd wedi bod yn cydweithredol ar draws eich carrer a'ch bod yn teimlo ei fod yn mynd i'w helpu i ddod o'r Atlantig?
[01:05:01.000 -> 01:05:06.000] Mae'n ddiddorol. Felly un o'r pethau yma ym mis hwn, rydw i wedi gwneud ychydig o sefydlu'n ei hun, to help you get across the Atlantic. That's interesting. So one of the things this week, I did a little bit of self-reflection and I sent
[01:05:07.760 -> 01:05:13.200] a message out to six people, kind of some student, family member, a bit of a 360 really,
[01:05:13.200 -> 01:05:16.400] that you'd do in kind of the business world, just said, if there was one word that you could
[01:05:16.400 -> 01:05:21.040] describe it, be honest, what would it be? And determined came back out of four out of the six.
[01:05:21.040 -> 01:05:27.840] So I think I've been determined no matter what I've done. I think you don't get into the Royal Marines and become a commando unless you're determined to pass
[01:05:27.840 -> 01:05:34.240] the commando course. You don't then do what I did with MI5 for 15 years without being
[01:05:34.240 -> 01:05:37.600] determined to succeed because it's quite a competitive environment, of course. A lot
[01:05:37.600 -> 01:05:42.840] of people want to do that work. And I think the Ocean Row itself, because there's so many
[01:05:42.840 -> 01:05:46.160] unknowns out there, because Mother Nature gets to decide, you know,
[01:05:46.160 -> 01:05:47.680] what happens.
[01:05:47.680 -> 01:05:51.600] The determination is the one thing to succeed
[01:05:51.600 -> 01:05:52.720] and to push forward in them goals.
[01:05:52.720 -> 01:05:54.680] The one thing that's always going to carry you through
[01:05:54.680 -> 01:05:57.520] and relentless daily discipline to move towards your goals.
[01:05:57.520 -> 01:05:59.320] I believe that unless you're doing something
[01:05:59.320 -> 01:06:01.440] every single day towards your goals,
[01:06:01.440 -> 01:06:03.160] you simply don't want it enough.
[01:06:03.160 -> 01:06:06.840] And how does that play into the conversation that we've just heard on this episode with
[01:06:06.840 -> 01:06:10.560] Bear Grylls where he talks about family first, how do you get that balance right?
[01:06:10.560 -> 01:06:16.440] I think that's something I need to get better at in the future. I think I've always, obviously,
[01:06:16.440 -> 01:06:22.040] my upbringing, I haven't got a relationship with my father, so part of being a dad is
[01:06:22.040 -> 01:06:25.760] for me to be the best possible dad I can be.
[01:06:25.760 -> 01:06:27.360] I think it's really tough, isn't it?
[01:06:27.360 -> 01:06:32.720] Because in order to push forward in one direction, you're going to lose someone on the other
[01:06:32.720 -> 01:06:35.560] side and I worked away a lot.
[01:06:35.560 -> 01:06:38.800] And at times I would put my career first as well.
[01:06:38.800 -> 01:06:42.800] I reconciled that by the fact that I was serving my country and I think that was an important
[01:06:42.800 -> 01:06:43.800] thing to do.
[01:06:43.800 -> 01:06:45.080] This is funny, but my wife put in my Christmas card this year, you know, good luck on the for the fact that I was serving my country and I think that was an important thing to do.
[01:06:46.280 -> 01:06:48.600] And this is funny, but my wife put in my Christmas card this year,
[01:06:48.600 -> 01:06:50.240] you know, good luck on the road, let's smash it,
[01:06:50.240 -> 01:06:52.000] but let's have a quieter 2023.
[01:06:52.000 -> 01:06:53.800] And I think what she means by that is,
[01:06:53.800 -> 01:06:58.120] let's just stop making those goals externally
[01:06:58.120 -> 01:07:01.280] and let's maybe have a goal to be a little bit more present,
[01:07:02.720 -> 01:07:04.480] which I intend to do.
[01:07:04.480 -> 01:07:08.480] Finally, where can people get a bit more information about your challenge and maybe donate if they
[01:07:08.480 -> 01:07:08.960] so wish?
[01:07:08.960 -> 01:07:09.920] Matt Gaunt
[01:07:09.920 -> 01:07:14.160] I'd love it if people checked out my Instagram at the Atlantic Grappler, or they can find me
[01:07:14.160 -> 01:07:18.960] at theatlanticgrappler.com. I'll tell you everything about the challenge there and a
[01:07:18.960 -> 01:07:23.040] little bit about me. I mean, I've not spoken before today, I've not spoken publicly about
[01:07:23.600 -> 01:07:28.840] working in MI5 for 15 years. And I think this is a great podcast to be
[01:07:28.840 -> 01:07:31.460] able to say that I have intentions of perhaps writing a
[01:07:31.460 -> 01:07:34.500] book in the future about my experiences. So thank you to you
[01:07:34.500 -> 01:07:38.480] guys as well for doing what you do, because I'll be honest, in
[01:07:38.480 -> 01:07:41.440] lockdown, when I made the decision to leave, and to start
[01:07:41.440 -> 01:07:44.000] a contact sport in lockdown, when you couldn't have any
[01:07:44.000 -> 01:07:45.160] contact and to follow the charity sport in lockdown when you couldn't have any contact and to
[01:07:45.160 -> 01:07:49.740] follow the charity. A lot of what you spoke about resonated, particularly about the kind
[01:07:49.740 -> 01:07:53.720] of building a wall of evidence, because it allowed me to believe that it was possible
[01:07:53.720 -> 01:07:59.960] to do all the things in Excel and not just continue to do the same public sector work
[01:07:59.960 -> 01:08:02.680] that I've done for 20 years. So I appreciate that.
[01:08:02.680 -> 01:08:08.240] Good man. Mike, the Atlantic grappler, thank you so much and very best of luck with the
[01:08:08.240 -> 01:08:10.760] challenge and everything else you've got going on.
[01:08:10.760 -> 01:08:11.760] Yeah, thank you, Mike.
[01:08:11.760 -> 01:08:13.760] Thank you, guys. Lovely to talk to you.
[01:08:13.760 -> 01:08:20.240] Hey, 100 episodes! Blimey. Bear was cool as well, man. It's a nice, I think this is a
[01:08:20.240 -> 01:08:25.600] nice way to do it, don't you? Like
[01:08:22.160 -> 01:08:27.280] Bear Grylls and then a former MI5
[01:08:25.600 -> 01:08:29.120] operative who was also in the Special
[01:08:27.280 -> 01:08:31.280] Forces. I like, I do like the mix, you
[01:08:29.120 -> 01:08:32.320] know, of like Bear Grylls couldn't walk down
[01:08:31.280 -> 01:08:34.760] any street in Britain without being
[01:08:32.320 -> 01:08:36.640] recognised. Mike could, but actually I
[01:08:34.760 -> 01:08:39.200] bet there's some real parallels. Toby Richardson- Yeah,
[01:08:36.640 -> 01:08:40.960] that's a really powerful point. Toby Richardson- Um, hey,
[01:08:39.200 -> 01:08:42.240] two weeks as a Sunday Times best
[01:08:40.960 -> 01:08:44.080] seller, you know, we're in the top ten
[01:08:42.240 -> 01:08:45.760] again on Sunday. Toby Richardson- Well, my mum keeps sending
[01:08:44.080 -> 01:08:46.640] me videos when she goes in supermarkets of moving
[01:08:46.640 -> 01:08:51.040] our book over the copy of others as well. So, we're at one, two and three around Manchester.
[01:08:51.040 -> 01:08:55.280] I went to my mum and dad's today, it was my mum's 74th birthday. Happy birthday, mum.
[01:08:55.280 -> 01:08:59.960] Oh, you know what, two things that I loved. She's got some headphones for her birthday
[01:08:59.960 -> 01:09:04.360] from my dad, so she can listen to the podcast when she's walking the dog. And then we're
[01:09:04.360 -> 01:09:06.720] sitting there and everyone starts smiling. I turn around and my dad so she can listen to the podcast when she's walking the dog and then we're sitting there and everyone starts smiling I turn on my dad's
[01:09:06.720 -> 01:09:13.040] holding the book above my head and he goes Sunday Times bestseller and I'm
[01:09:13.040 -> 01:09:18.400] like oh no how lovely is that though I know it's nice isn't it is nice and um
[01:09:18.400 -> 01:09:21.960] and happy birthday to you mom happy birthday mrs. Humphrey yeah happy
[01:09:21.960 -> 01:09:28.000] birthday mom so there's a there's a very few tickets left Damien, for the High Performance Tour.
[01:09:28.000 -> 01:09:31.000] You know obviously we've, I sent you the script this week didn't I?
[01:09:31.000 -> 01:09:33.000] Yes, I'm going to work through it.
[01:09:33.000 -> 01:09:37.000] When you have a little read through it, what is the thing you're most excited about with our tour?
[01:09:37.000 -> 01:09:41.000] I'm looking forward to the sense of community that comes from it.
[01:09:41.000 -> 01:09:48.320] I think it's nice when, like speaking to Mike there, that he talks about feeling some kind of kinship, o'r cwmni. Rwy'n credu ei fod yn dda wrth ddweud i Mike yno, mae'n siarad am teimlo rhai ffyrdd o gynnyrch a mae'n ei helpu.
[01:09:48.320 -> 01:09:51.520] Ond i gyd i gyd ymuno â phobl sydd wedi cymryd gysylltiad gyda'r
[01:09:51.520 -> 01:09:54.240] podcast High Performance ac i greu'r cymuned honno.
[01:09:54.240 -> 01:09:56.480] Rwy'n hoffi'r cwwt o Bruce Springsteen,
[01:09:56.480 -> 01:09:59.400] a dweud bod nobody yn gwynebu, unwaith bod pob un yn gwynebu.
[01:09:59.400 -> 01:10:01.120] Ac rwy'n hoffi'r syniad o bod pob un yn dod ymlaen
[01:10:01.120 -> 01:10:04.120] ac yn mynd ymlaen yn teimlo'n well arno.
[01:10:04.120 -> 01:10:27.560] Yn siarad â phob un, rwy'n edrych ar y niferoedd. i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd i gyd So, she can get away with that, she's nine. Listen, if you do want some of the remaining tickets, and there might, I'm not sure if
[01:10:27.560 -> 01:10:31.440] there are actually any left, but go to the highperformancepodcast.com if you want to
[01:10:31.440 -> 01:10:34.400] join us in Birmingham, Manchester, Edinburgh or London.
[01:10:34.400 -> 01:10:37.760] I mean, I might as well tell you now that if you can't get tickets, we are going to
[01:10:37.760 -> 01:10:40.920] be back on the road at the end of 2022 as well, which will be good fun.
[01:10:40.920 -> 01:10:43.560] And we look forward to seeing more of you there.
[01:10:43.560 -> 01:10:45.000] Damien, thank youch yn fawr fel bob amser.
[01:10:45.000 -> 01:10:47.000] Rwy'n teimlo'n energisedd ar ôl
[01:10:47.000 -> 01:10:48.000] y peth hwnnw gyda Bear a Mike
[01:10:48.000 -> 01:10:50.000] a'n barod i fynd i atal arall dydd.
[01:10:50.000 -> 01:10:51.000] Ie, i mi hefyd, Jake.
[01:10:51.000 -> 01:10:52.000] Rydw i wedi cofio'r peth fel bob amser.
[01:10:52.000 -> 01:10:55.000] Rwy'n credu mai'r gwirfoddol
[01:10:55.000 -> 01:10:56.000] o'n gwestiynau
[01:10:56.000 -> 01:10:58.000] yw'r peth sy'n rhoi'r fwyth
[01:10:58.000 -> 01:10:59.000] o'n ffyrdd.
[01:10:59.000 -> 01:11:00.000] Yn wirioneddol.
[01:11:00.000 -> 01:11:01.000] Felly diolch i nhw.
[01:11:01.000 -> 01:11:02.000] Diolch i chi hefyd am wylio.
[01:11:02.000 -> 01:11:03.000] Os ydych chi eisiau gweld
[01:11:03.000 -> 01:11:04.000] ac ychydig o'r bobl
[01:11:04.000 -> 01:11:29.480] ar y podcast High Performance, os gwelwch yn dda, os gwelwch yn in YouTube and you'll find all of our videos on our channel there. And if you wish to subscribe to the podcast, we'd also be hugely grateful for that. And please do rate and review it. It makes a big difference. It allows us to reach out to people that just don't know that we exist. And there a lot of people that don't know this podcast exists and we'd like to change that and if you would like to as
[01:11:29.480 -> 01:11:34.840] well, then pass it on, share it, rate it, review it, whatever you've got time for we'd be most grateful.
[01:11:34.880 -> 01:11:39.660] But as always huge thanks to all the team, to Will, to Eve, to Hannah, to Gemma,
[01:11:40.080 -> 01:11:46.220] to Finn at Rethink Audio and anyone else who is involved in helping make this podcast the podcast that it is and remember
[01:11:46.300 -> 01:11:48.900] There is no secret. It is all there for you
[01:11:48.940 -> 01:12:24.600] Be your own biggest cheerleader make world-class basics your calling card and remember you deserve it. See you next week Save big on the brands you love at the Fred Meyer 5am Black Friday Sale!
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