BITESIZE #72 | Jo Konta: Pain x resistance = suffering

This week’s special bitesize clip features the engaging and illuminating Jo Konta, former British No.1 women’s tennis player who won four singles titles, reached the semifinals of Wimbledon and rose to a world ranking of number 4. 

In this powerful clip we spoke about the loneliness of pursuing a path of excellence. The harsh, unforgiving spotlight of constant scrutiny and the struggle to maintain equilibrium and balance whilst engaged in the struggle to perform.

Jo shared with us a simple equation which helped re-ignite her passion and led to a significant step change in her performance…Pain x Resistance = Struggle

The more resistance to a challenge, the greater the struggle. Jo learned that when she began reducing her resistance and started seeing the benefits - what it was teaching her - the struggle dissolved.

Listen to the full excellent episode with Jo here: https://www.thehighperformancepodcast.com/podcast/jokonta 

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In this episode, former British No. 1 women's tennis player Jo Konta joins the High Performance Podcast to discuss the challenges of pursuing excellence and the importance of acceptance.

Konta emphasizes the loneliness and scrutiny that come with a path of excellence, as well as the struggle to maintain equilibrium while striving for performance. She shares a simple equation that helped her reignite her passion and significantly improve her performance: Pain x Resistance = Struggle.

Konta explains that the greater the resistance to a challenge, the greater the struggle. By reducing her resistance and seeing the benefits of a challenge, she was able to dissolve the struggle.

The podcast delves into the concept of acceptance in life as a choice, even when faced with difficult circumstances. Konta emphasizes that accepting a situation, whether it's a difficult boss or a challenging relationship, can alleviate resistance and, consequently, reduce pain.

Konta's former coach, Juan Cotto, played a crucial role in equipping her to deal with life's unpredictable nature. He helped her understand that nothing is permanent and that accepting this fact can be liberating.

The podcast highlights the importance of embracing the process and finding joy in the journey, rather than solely focusing on the outcome. Konta's experience demonstrates that enjoying the process can lead to improved performance and a more fulfilling experience.

The episode concludes with a quote from Marcus Aurelius, reminding listeners that happiness and freedom come from understanding what is within their control and accepting what is not. Konta's insights and experiences provide valuable lessons for anyone seeking high performance and a fulfilling life.

[00:00.000 -> 00:06.600] How acceptance prepares you to live in an ever-changing world.
[00:06.600 -> 00:10.320] Welcome to this bite-sized episode of the High Performance Podcast.
[00:10.320 -> 00:13.720] We're very shortly going to play you a clip from Johanna Konta,
[00:13.720 -> 00:16.120] who is a former British tennis player.
[00:16.120 -> 00:17.800] She was the British number one.
[00:17.800 -> 00:21.520] She was actually ranked at one point as number four in the world.
[00:21.520 -> 00:23.920] She joined us on the High Performance Podcast.
[00:23.920 -> 00:25.240] We spoke about so much,
[00:25.240 -> 00:27.520] and one of the things that we spoke about
[00:27.520 -> 00:30.680] is the ability to live with pain.
[00:30.680 -> 00:34.200] You're gonna hear Johanna talk about her former coach, Juan,
[00:34.200 -> 00:36.800] who equipped her to deal with the fact
[00:36.800 -> 00:38.680] that sometimes life is difficult,
[00:38.680 -> 00:40.640] that life is basically unpredictable,
[00:40.640 -> 00:42.640] that we don't know what is around the corner.
[00:42.640 -> 00:44.120] So how do we deal with life
[00:44.120 -> 00:46.200] when we don't know what's about to happen and
[00:46.200 -> 00:48.600] sometimes the thing that does happen is painful?
[00:48.600 -> 00:53.100] Well, you've got to try and look at life through positive eyes,
[00:53.100 -> 00:55.700] regardless of the situation that you're in.
[00:55.700 -> 00:59.200] It's about understanding that acceptance in life is a choice.
[00:59.200 -> 01:03.800] So even when life is difficult, accepting that it's difficult,
[01:03.800 -> 01:05.500] you know, there'll be people listening to this thinking,
[01:05.500 -> 01:08.740] oh, my boss is so difficult, I don't get on with my boss.
[01:08.740 -> 01:10.060] Now, this isn't an easy concept,
[01:10.060 -> 01:12.140] but you just need to accept that.
[01:12.140 -> 01:14.640] Because the reason why you think you should get on
[01:14.640 -> 01:16.540] with your boss is because you've written a fairy tale
[01:16.540 -> 01:18.420] in your head that your boss is going to be a great person
[01:18.420 -> 01:19.660] to get along with.
[01:19.660 -> 01:22.060] Or for someone that has a difficult relationship
[01:22.060 -> 01:23.900] with a partner or a child, well,
[01:23.900 -> 01:27.600] what makes you think that life shouldn't be at times difficult?
[01:27.600 -> 01:32.800] Whether it is a boss or a partner or a child, or even at times,
[01:32.800 -> 01:39.700] what Johanna talks about is that she had to understand that nothing was permanent,
[01:39.700 -> 01:42.400] and that that was really, really liberating for her.
[01:42.400 -> 01:47.940] Because once you realize that nothing's permanent, once you learn to accept it, then you lose
[01:47.940 -> 01:49.520] the resistance.
[01:49.520 -> 01:53.760] Once you lose the resistance, then you lose the pain.
[01:53.760 -> 01:58.880] Now let me be clear once again, it's not necessarily an easy concept to grasp, but it's absolutely
[01:58.880 -> 02:03.340] a concept that if you can understand, and if you can employ in your own life, it will
[02:03.340 -> 02:06.780] get you closer to a life of high performance.
[02:06.780 -> 02:08.820] It will take you from just feeling happy
[02:08.820 -> 02:11.820] to specifically being happy.
[02:11.820 -> 02:13.180] It will make you feel bulletproof
[02:13.180 -> 02:14.540] because you will know that no matter
[02:14.540 -> 02:16.580] what is around the corner,
[02:16.580 -> 02:18.300] you live a life of acceptance.
[02:18.300 -> 02:19.740] So you will accept it.
[02:19.740 -> 02:22.060] You will understand that it won't be forever.
[02:23.500 -> 02:25.680] And that sometimes life is hard and painful
[02:25.680 -> 02:27.480] and disappointing and difficult.
[02:28.480 -> 02:30.300] But not always.
[02:30.300 -> 02:32.300] So anyway, let me share it with you.
[02:32.300 -> 02:35.300] This is Johanna Konta, and a small clip
[02:35.300 -> 02:38.220] from our incredible conversation with her.
[02:38.220 -> 02:39.060] Enjoy.
[02:41.320 -> 02:43.380] I got very lucky because that's when I was introduced
[02:43.380 -> 02:45.320] to Juan Cotto.
[02:45.320 -> 02:52.120] Through him and my coach at the time, Esteban Carril, and it was during that period that
[02:52.120 -> 03:05.800] we started to peel back the layers of anxiety, of responsibility, of guilt. I think guilt is probably the biggest one.
[03:10.800 -> 03:11.400] And start finding the root of why I play.
[03:14.720 -> 03:18.320] And that's when I think the dream came back into it. That's where kind of I play because I fell in love
[03:18.320 -> 03:19.760] with this sport as a young girl
[03:19.760 -> 03:22.800] and I decided to dedicate my life to it.
[03:22.800 -> 03:26.600] And whether I make it, I'm using quotation marks,
[03:26.600 -> 03:28.100] whether I make it or not,
[03:30.280 -> 03:32.840] it's actually irrelevant to that part
[03:32.840 -> 03:37.840] because I'm here and I'm trying to do the best that I can.
[03:38.520 -> 03:42.120] And I think taking a lot of joy and pride
[03:42.120 -> 03:43.760] in me doing the best that I can,
[03:43.760 -> 03:45.520] I think that's what started then alleviating the guilt o ffyrdd o glo a chroed i mi wneud y mwyaf i gyd. Rwy'n credu mai dyna sy'n dechrau yna
[03:45.520 -> 03:48.320] yn ymdrechu ar y gwirionedd a'r de.
[03:48.320 -> 03:51.280] Ac yn dechrau gwneud ystafell
[03:51.280 -> 03:52.840] i ddod yn gwaith tenisau'n well,
[03:52.840 -> 03:54.400] i ddod yn gymhwyswyr yn well,
[03:54.400 -> 03:56.840] i ymweld â'r gêm, i ddysgu'r gêm,
[03:56.840 -> 04:01.840] i gwneud y gwaith yr oeddwn i'n ei gael fel gymhwyster.
[04:02.160 -> 04:04.560] A oeddwn i'n dweud y byddwch chi wedyn yn dechrau
[04:04.560 -> 04:07.200] yn hoffi gwyneb, yn ymhellach i mi fel chwaraewr. Ydych chi'n dweud y byddwch chi wedi dechrau mwynhau gwythio yn ymhellach i
[04:07.200 -> 04:08.320] golli'r golli?
[04:08.320 -> 04:11.200] A oedd hynny'n ddifrifoliad y dechreuwch chi'n gwneud?
[04:11.200 -> 04:12.800] Dwi'n credu, ond dwi'n credu mwy na unrhyw beth,
[04:12.800 -> 04:15.400] dwi'n dechrau mwynhau chwarae.
[04:15.400 -> 04:25.720] Ac dwi'n dechrau i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn i mewn the different things it offered me, an outlet of my competitiveness, of my
[04:25.720 -> 04:32.120] curiosity to improve my desire to learn and I started enjoying that process. I
[04:32.120 -> 04:37.440] think process became a very big trigger word for us. It was about the day-in day-out
[04:37.440 -> 04:43.920] process and yeah, enjoying that process. So had you worked with
[04:43.920 -> 04:46.700] anyone from a psychological perspective before you met Juan?
[04:46.800 -> 04:50.600] Yeah, I think kind of through the Australian Federation at the time,
[04:50.600 -> 04:52.800] and even maybe when I came over,
[04:52.800 -> 04:56.500] I'm sure I'd met with someone at the LTA as well.
[04:56.500 -> 05:03.200] I think psychology and sports psychology has always kind of been around for me.
[05:03.500 -> 05:07.140] I think I came at the point where it started becoming more
[05:07.140 -> 05:11.680] popular but I think it was more in yeah it was when I met Juan where I actually
[05:11.680 -> 05:18.280] I found someone who just spoke to me in a way that I understood and I could
[05:18.280 -> 05:22.040] grasp and I could use practically. So could you give me an example of that
[05:22.040 -> 05:25.520] then Jo? So it was kind of with him that we started
[05:25.960 -> 05:33.000] first establishing a routine as well and accountability for the the things that I was doing so we'd
[05:33.320 -> 05:37.100] I'd I remember I'd always read every morning at the optimists creed
[05:38.600 -> 05:42.440] And if probably pushed hard enough I probably could recite it still because I read that
[05:46.080 -> 05:51.640] enough I probably could recite it still because I read that for years. And it would be things like, that's when I started using Headspace, the app Headspace
[05:51.640 -> 05:53.800] and kind of getting a practice into that.
[05:53.800 -> 05:57.120] Then I think it was also working through different worries.
[05:57.120 -> 05:59.860] So I'd start, I'd start, that's when I started writing.
[05:59.860 -> 06:02.040] So writing down kind of what I was stressed about.
[06:02.040 -> 06:07.000] And then there was a formula to that in writing, writing down what I was struggling with, bringing yn ymwneud â'r rhai sy'n cael eu gweithio arnyn nhw. Ac roedd yna fformwla i hynny yn ysgrifennu'r peth y byddwn yn anoddau
[06:07.000 -> 06:09.840] gyda'r rhai sy'n dod o'r iaith
[06:09.840 -> 06:11.520] a'r rhai sydd yn dweud nad yw'n iawn,
[06:11.520 -> 06:12.400] nad yw'n normal,
[06:12.400 -> 06:13.920] ac yn dod o'r iaith
[06:13.920 -> 06:15.640] a'r rhai sy'n dweud nad yw'n ddwyieithiol
[06:15.640 -> 06:17.520] a'r rhai sydd yn dweud nad yw'n iawn.
[06:17.520 -> 06:20.040] Ac mae'n ymwneud â'r rhai sydd yn anoddau
[06:20.040 -> 06:22.400] gyda'r rhai sy'n anoddau
[06:22.400 -> 06:24.240] ac roedd yna ffyrdd
[06:24.240 -> 06:27.840] a ddechreuais y byddwch chi'n brofio'r dydd honno. A oedd y ffordd y byddwn ni'n ei ddewis, ac rwy'n credu bod hynny'n dechrau, eto,
[06:27.840 -> 06:30.040] yn creu rhan i mi chwarae
[06:30.040 -> 06:31.200] pan ddod i'r cwrs.
[06:31.200 -> 06:32.640] Mae llawer o bobl yn siarad gyda ni
[06:32.640 -> 06:34.480] am y brofiad o anxioedd
[06:34.480 -> 06:35.760] a'r bagage sy'n eu cyrraedd.
[06:35.760 -> 06:38.480] Ac mae'n deimlo i mi fod Huan
[06:38.480 -> 06:40.400] wedi'i ddod o'r byd o'r diwedd
[06:40.400 -> 06:43.080] a'u gysylltu'n ôl i'ch meddwl,
[06:43.080 -> 06:44.240] ond mwy na hynny.
[06:44.240 -> 06:49.800] Mae'n deimlo fel y dywedodd, edrychwch, mae'n iawn i gael anxioedd, past and realigned things in your mind but almost more than that it sounds like he kind of said look it's okay to have anxiety and struggle and fear and to
[06:49.800 -> 06:54.360] carry all of this but you can also carry it without being impacted by it you can
[06:54.360 -> 07:00.120] you can live with it yes yeah I think it was it was understanding that actually
[07:00.120 -> 07:09.120] whatever feelings that I'm feeling, however overwhelmed I feel, I'm actually fully equipped
[07:09.120 -> 07:10.120] to deal with it.
[07:10.120 -> 07:12.520] I'm fully equipped to live through it.
[07:12.520 -> 07:17.360] And I think it was with him that we also discussed that nothing's permanent.
[07:17.360 -> 07:19.020] Nothing's a permanent state.
[07:19.020 -> 07:20.120] Everything keeps moving.
[07:20.120 -> 07:28.120] And so I think that kind of gave me hope as well when I was feeling really down or overwhelmed,
[07:28.120 -> 07:30.500] stressed, upset, anything,
[07:31.700 -> 07:35.040] knowing that this is not gonna stay like this.
[07:35.040 -> 07:37.240] I will feel different at some point.
[07:37.240 -> 07:40.920] And I think actually, let me just get it right in my head,
[07:40.920 -> 07:43.240] but a formula that he gave me is
[07:44.280 -> 07:47.700] pain times resistance equals suffering.
[07:47.700 -> 07:54.100] So if I'm in pain, let's say at a 10, and I'm resisting at a 10, my suffering's going
[07:54.100 -> 07:55.860] to be 100.
[07:55.860 -> 08:01.160] But if my resistance is zero, then my suffering's zero.
[08:01.160 -> 08:28.240] And although there's probably variances in there, but to me that gave it a very practical, yn ymwneud â'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r fath o'r begin to blossom? I think probably in 2015 I was playing a small challenger circuit. I was also
[08:28.240 -> 08:33.520] working with a coach who worked with Esteban called Jose Manuel Garcia and he would sometimes
[08:33.520 -> 08:40.320] come on trips with me and we were together in the US playing on green clay. It was the kind of the
[08:40.320 -> 08:46.840] prep circuit on the ITF tour for French Open. And we were playing 25s,
[08:46.840 -> 08:51.840] 25s and maybe a $50,000 tournament in Jackson, Mississippi
[08:52.320 -> 08:55.920] and in Birmingham, Alabama.
[08:55.920 -> 08:59.240] And Dothan, Alabama, I think the place was called.
[08:59.240 -> 09:04.240] And I remember just playing that whole trip,
[09:11.660 -> 09:17.340] just really grateful and really just kind of in a, yeah, in a very sincerely grateful way of just being able to be there and just
[09:17.340 -> 09:23.680] to be able to step on court and being healthy and enjoying the sunshine and just really
[09:23.680 -> 09:27.560] looking at these, you know, lovely little like clubs that we were playing at,
[09:27.560 -> 09:29.760] like how great is this?
[09:29.760 -> 09:32.560] And I think that's when I really felt like I took
[09:32.560 -> 09:36.400] just like a really big breath and just kind of,
[09:36.400 -> 09:37.760] oh, this is really great.
[09:37.760 -> 09:40.000] And if it never changes from this,
[09:40.000 -> 09:44.240] if this is all I get in kind of the hierarchy of tennis,
[09:44.240 -> 09:46.520] then my God, I'm so lucky.
[09:46.520 -> 09:49.780] And I think it was that kind of just real deep appreciation
[09:49.780 -> 09:51.840] for kind of what I was doing.
[09:51.840 -> 09:54.740] Just, it just brought me joy.
[09:54.740 -> 10:00.480] ♪♪♪
[10:00.480 -> 10:01.740] Well, I really hope you enjoyed that.
[10:01.740 -> 10:03.320] If you want to hear the full conversation
[10:03.320 -> 10:04.480] with Johanna Konta,
[10:04.480 -> 10:09.120] then it's episode 79 of the High Performance Podcast. Just a
[10:09.120 -> 10:12.160] quick reminder that you can also watch the episode just go to our YouTube
[10:12.160 -> 10:18.380] channel and I would love you to join the 25,000 plus people who are members of the
[10:18.380 -> 10:23.000] High Performance Circle. It's free, it's full of amazing information, videos,
[10:23.000 -> 10:25.220] newsletters, incredible content.
[10:25.220 -> 10:26.380] It's a brilliant community.
[10:26.380 -> 10:27.340] If you wanna be part of it,
[10:27.340 -> 10:30.780] just go to the highperformancepodcast.com.
[10:30.780 -> 10:32.980] I'm gonna leave you with one last thought
[10:32.980 -> 10:35.980] regarding the conversation we just had with Johanna Konta.
[10:37.500 -> 10:42.500] And it is this quote from the Stoic, Marcus Aurelius.
[10:42.780 -> 10:44.780] "'Never let the future disturb you.
[10:44.780 -> 10:47.560] "'You will meet it, if you have to,
[10:47.560 -> 10:49.360] with the same weapons of reason
[10:49.360 -> 10:52.120] which today arm you against the present.
[10:52.120 -> 10:56.120] Our anger and annoyance are more detrimental to us
[10:56.120 -> 11:00.360] than the things themselves which anger or annoy us.
[11:00.360 -> 11:01.980] It's another brilliant reminder
[11:01.980 -> 11:09.060] that life is actually 95% how you react to the 5% of things that happen to you.
[11:09.060 -> 11:12.040] Happiness and freedom begin with that total understanding
[11:12.040 -> 11:13.900] that some things are in your control
[11:13.900 -> 11:15.860] and some things simply aren't.
[11:15.860 -> 11:20.540] So the only place to look for strength is within.
[11:20.540 -> 11:22.900] Thanks for joining us and we'll see you next time
[11:22.900 -> None] for another episode of the High Performance Podcast. you