BITESIZE #67 | Tom Daley: Feeling different gave me the strength to succeed

Tom Daley, one of Britain’s most recognised sportsmen, joined us for Ep5 and spoke about how his feelings of being different growing up gave him the strength to succeed. 

Tom’s fame transcends his sport - he lost his father to cancer in 2011, publicly came out as gay, got married, had a baby and has became a key spokesperson for LGBT+ rights. His example has shown that all forms of difference can lead us to be more empowered, and self-assured.

Listen to the full episode:

https://www.thehighperformancepodcast.com/podcast/tom-daley

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# Tom Daley: The Power of Embracing Difference for Success

In episode 5 of the High Performance Podcast, renowned British sportsman Tom Daley shares his inspiring journey of overcoming challenges and finding empowerment through embracing his differences. Daley's remarkable story highlights how his unique experiences, including being bullied at school, losing his father to cancer, and publicly coming out as gay, have shaped his resilience and determination to succeed.

Daley's early life was marked by a sense of isolation and misunderstanding. He faced bullying at school due to his dedication to diving, which required him to miss social events and parties. The loss of his father at a young age further compounded his feelings of loneliness and grief. However, instead of letting these setbacks define him, Daley channeled his emotions into his diving, finding solace and purpose in the pool.

Daley's journey to self-acceptance was further challenged when he publicly came out as gay in 2013. He feared that his sexuality would overshadow his athletic achievements, but he remained steadfast in his commitment to being true to himself. Daley's decision to embrace his difference became a powerful statement of resilience and empowerment, inspiring others to do the same.

Despite facing numerous obstacles, Daley's unwavering focus on his goals and his ability to find strength in his differences have made him an exceptional athlete and a role model for many. He emphasizes the importance of creating safe and supportive environments where individuals can feel comfortable being themselves, allowing them to thrive and reach their full potential.

Daley's story is a testament to the transformative power of embracing difference. By recognizing and celebrating our unique qualities, we can unlock our inner strength and achieve greatness. His message is a reminder that it is in our differences that we find our true power and purpose.

[00:00.000 -> 00:03.600] Welcome along to this bite-sized episode of the High Performance Podcast,
[00:03.600 -> 00:07.800] the podcast that turns the lived experiences of the planet's highest performers
[00:07.800 -> 00:09.300] into your life lessons.
[00:09.300 -> 00:12.300] And we're just going to share with you now a clip from one of the amazing guests
[00:12.300 -> 00:15.100] who's joined us over the years on High Performance,
[00:15.100 -> 00:17.000] just to give you that little bit of inspiration.
[00:17.000 -> 00:19.500] Maybe you're just searching for something, maybe you're struggling,
[00:19.500 -> 00:21.300] maybe you feel great.
[00:21.300 -> 00:23.100] Either way, this is it for you.
[00:23.100 -> 00:24.500] It's absolutely free.
[00:24.500 -> 00:25.680] I hope you enjoy it.
[00:25.680 -> 00:28.560] It's today's Bite Size episode of High Performance.
[00:30.080 -> 00:36.320] My whole life I feel like lots of the time I felt like people don't understand, people don't get it.
[00:36.320 -> 00:42.160] With school, people just didn't get it that I wanted to be at the pool for five hours after
[00:42.160 -> 00:46.000] school. People didn't get the fact that I wanted to do everything
[00:46.000 -> 00:48.700] that I could, I couldn't go to the cinema in the evenings
[00:48.700 -> 00:51.160] and come back at 10.30 if I had to be up at six.
[00:51.160 -> 00:53.000] I couldn't go to the parties on the weekend
[00:53.000 -> 00:55.040] or drink when everyone else was.
[00:55.040 -> 00:56.520] You know, those little things,
[00:56.520 -> 00:58.040] people just didn't understand that.
[00:58.040 -> 01:01.400] And then I felt the same when my dad passed away.
[01:01.400 -> 01:03.320] You know, I went and competed
[01:03.320 -> 01:08.720] at the national championships the week after, which back on now it's like kind of crazy but I must have
[01:08.720 -> 01:12.360] just you know that's what my dad would have wanted me to compete like he would
[01:12.360 -> 01:16.480] have wanted me to carry on I didn't miss any training sessions and I don't know
[01:16.480 -> 01:19.480] there was just something that was very tunnel vision on that and it was almost
[01:19.480 -> 01:23.360] like I was shutting everything out but yeah like again like I didn't think that
[01:23.360 -> 01:26.340] any of the diving people understood how I was feeling.
[01:26.340 -> 01:29.040] I was always trying to just get things done
[01:29.040 -> 01:30.620] and not think about it and just be like,
[01:30.620 -> 01:33.320] I know what I need to do and I just need to do it.
[01:33.320 -> 01:35.100] And then a similar thing my whole life is,
[01:35.100 -> 01:37.140] obviously I knew that I was different
[01:37.140 -> 01:38.740] as long as I can remember.
[01:38.740 -> 01:43.600] And I think when I came out in 2013,
[01:43.600 -> 01:44.980] I almost felt alone then.
[01:44.980 -> 01:45.000] I was like, I almost felt alone then.
[01:47.500 -> 01:50.600] I was like, I don't know if people understand how difficult it has been for me growing up
[01:50.600 -> 01:53.740] and feeling different, feeling on the outside
[01:53.740 -> 01:55.060] and feeling like I was an outsider,
[01:55.060 -> 01:57.140] but people didn't know that I was an outsider.
[01:57.140 -> 01:58.920] I knew that I was an outsider
[01:58.920 -> 02:00.720] and I wasn't the same as everyone else.
[02:00.720 -> 02:04.060] And in a certain way, I think growing up
[02:08.100 -> 02:13.500] as a gay little boy and then growing up with knowing that and not knowing how to say it or if I could ever say it, especially
[02:13.500 -> 02:19.080] in the public eye, there was something I think about that that I wanted to prove that I could
[02:19.080 -> 02:24.180] be good, I could do well at school, I could be good at sport and that wasn't going to
[02:24.180 -> 02:25.000] define me. So I think my whole life I felt a little be good at sport and that wasn't gonna define me
[02:31.600 -> 02:31.720] So I think my whole life I felt a little bit on the outside and a little bit like people didn't understand me as an athlete
[02:33.920 -> 02:34.000] My dad passing away being gay
[02:38.260 -> 02:38.600] but everyone if you think about it everyone is a little bit different in some way and it's about
[02:44.320 -> 02:47.600] embracing those differences because those differences can often be the things that set us apart from the rest when it comes to Oherwydd y gwahaniaethau hynny gall fod yn y pethau sy'n ein gwneud yn y rhan o'r rest wrth fynd i'r profiad o fyd a'r hyn y gallwch chi'n ei ddeal.
[02:47.600 -> 02:49.560] Ond yna mae'n rhaid i ni i gyd ddod â rhywun
[02:49.560 -> 02:53.400] rydyn ni'n teimlo'n lle y gallwn ni fynd i lle y gallwn ni fod ein hunain
[02:53.400 -> 02:56.480] a bod yn ddiogel ac yn ddiogel yn y mhobl sylfaen.
[02:56.480 -> 02:59.160] Felly, ydych chi'n teimlo eich bod chi wedi cael hynny nawr?
[02:59.160 -> 03:00.880] Oh, yn unig.
[03:00.880 -> 03:11.720] Dwi'n golygu fy nîm i ddivio, yn amlwg fy nhwyrwyr. Roedd rhywbeth sy'n bwysig iawn o ran My I mean my diving team for one my obviously my family There was something that was so special about being able to go to diving being able to be myself. Not necessarily that they knew exactly
[03:13.180 -> 03:17.680] Everything but the fact that I was able to be myself. It kind of did make me feel safe
[03:17.680 -> 03:19.600] I had a safe environment at home
[03:19.600 -> 03:21.540] I had a safe environment at the pool as well
[03:21.540 -> 03:29.800] Which I think can then take a lot of stress and pressure and anxiety away to allow us to fly I wonder whether when I
[03:29.800 -> 03:34.400] hear all of this whether you actually feel quite bulletproof because I think
[03:34.400 -> 03:38.040] that when people and there has been clinical studies into this that when
[03:38.040 -> 03:41.480] people have these big traumas early in their lives and things keep on happening
[03:41.480 -> 03:47.400] it can send you one way or the other it It can break a lot of people, or it can lead to the kind of person
[03:47.400 -> 03:50.200] who just has extreme resilience.
[03:50.200 -> 03:53.040] So you're bullied at school, so your dad dies,
[03:53.040 -> 03:55.100] so you become publicly known,
[03:55.100 -> 03:57.200] and you have a couple of exposés in the press.
[03:57.200 -> 03:59.700] So there's question marks about your sexuality,
[03:59.700 -> 04:00.900] and you haven't yet come out,
[04:00.900 -> 04:02.700] so you go onto a TV show,
[04:02.700 -> 04:04.200] and British Swimming doesn't back you
[04:04.200 -> 04:05.920] despite the fact that you're making diving more
[04:05.920 -> 04:10.040] Popular than ever before so there's huge pressure on you to deliver when you're on the diving board
[04:10.040 -> 04:14.480] And of course, you've got your friends and you've got your coaches and people you can talk to but you know
[04:14.480 -> 04:19.440] What it all comes down to Tom Daley dealing with that in his head
[04:19.520 -> 04:20.760] Yeah, absolutely
[04:20.760 -> 04:26.600] It's something that I've had to deal with so many things from such a young age that I don't know any different
[04:26.600 -> 04:30.560] So do you feel bulletproof? I guess you could say that I feel like
[04:31.240 -> 04:35.660] The way that I think about life in general is that there's so much
[04:36.200 -> 04:42.460] more to what other people think about me and what other people's opinions are of me and what
[04:42.680 -> 04:45.240] happens in life the things that are most
[04:45.240 -> 04:53.200] important are my family and my happiness and loving what I do and people can
[04:53.200 -> 04:56.920] think what they want to think people can say what they want to say and at the
[04:56.920 -> 05:03.200] end of the day you can let as much as that in or not as you want to and it's
[05:03.200 -> 05:05.960] something I've had to learn how to do because don't get me wrong
[05:06.320 -> 05:10.940] You do the world of social media now people can be really really nasty
[05:11.600 -> 05:17.000] So being able to rationalize things I think is something that's really key and something
[05:17.000 -> 05:22.360] I've had to learn to rationalize the fact that that someone sat behind a computer and would they really say that to your face?
[05:22.360 -> 05:26.320] You bothered anymore. Like I imagine it was a time where you felt like shouting from the rooftops, hey,
[05:26.320 -> 05:27.320] I'm a human being.
[05:27.320 -> 05:28.320] Yeah.
[05:28.320 -> 05:29.320] I'm a nice guy.
[05:29.320 -> 05:30.800] I'm just trying to be an elite performer.
[05:30.800 -> 05:32.520] Why are you all trying to fuck with my head?
[05:32.520 -> 05:33.520] Yeah, no, exactly.
[05:33.520 -> 05:36.720] Of course, you initially when those things happen, you want to say that.
[05:36.720 -> 05:40.760] But it's also now I've learned I don't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing that
[05:40.760 -> 05:48.320] I've even read it because people can be horrible and that's for them to be horrible. But you know, I like to kill people with kindness
[05:50.160 -> 05:55.060] Well, as always thank you so much for joining us don't forget you can also check out the high-performance store
[05:55.360 -> 05:57.360] Just go to the high-performance podcast
[05:57.940 -> 06:02.500] Com click on shop and you can see what we've got for you there and there's loads more there as well
[06:02.500 -> 06:06.900] You can join the high-performance circle. You can get your hands on our book, you can get tickets to
[06:06.900 -> 06:12.880] our live events. There's loads waiting for you. Just head to thehighperformancepodcast.com
[06:12.880 -> 06:17.580] and I'll see you next time. Remember, there is no secret. It is all there for you. Be
[06:17.580 -> 06:22.840] your own biggest cheerleader and make world-class basics your calling card. See you next time.
[06:22.790 -> 06:24.910] your calling card.
[06:24.910 -> 06:25.910] See you next time.