BITESIZE #62 | Hector Bellerin: Be like a candle

This was one of our absolute favourite moments in our chat with the irrepressible Héctor Bellerín, a football player with Real Betis - how and what you choose to value. Does a good day at work make you more valuable? Are you less valuable if you’re having a tough time?

If we view through the world through a binary lens - good/bad, right/wrong, win/lose - we miss the details, the nuances, the lessons we can use over the long term pursuit of high performance on our own terms.

Listen to the full episode with Héctor: https://www.thehighperformancepodcast.com/podcast/hectorbellerin

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In this episode, Héctor Bellerín, a renowned footballer, delves into the concept of self-worth and its relation to performance in the realm of football. He emphasizes the importance of maintaining a stable sense of self-worth, regardless of external factors such as wins or losses. Bellerín highlights the binary nature of football, where success and failure are often seen as polar opposites, leading to emotional highs and lows.

Bellerín contrasts this with the contentment experienced by individuals who appreciate the simple joys of life, such as a good cup of coffee or spending time with loved ones. He expresses his admiration for those who can find happiness in the mundane, acknowledging that he himself is striving to become more appreciative of life's little moments.

Bellerín acknowledges that the way children are raised in the competitive world of football can be detrimental to their long-term well-being. He suggests that this environment, with its emphasis on performance-based self-worth, can lead to unhealthy outcomes as they grow older.

The episode concludes with a reminder to listeners that the High Performance Podcast book is available, offering valuable lessons from top performers to help individuals achieve personal growth and transformation.

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[02:22.360 -> 02:26.060] As a human, I would say the analogy of like a candle,
[02:26.060 -> 02:27.760] you know, it should always be like a candle.
[02:27.760 -> 02:30.740] That's always burning at the same rate, right?
[02:30.740 -> 02:32.840] So your value is always this.
[02:32.840 -> 02:34.240] So it doesn't matter if you score a goal,
[02:34.240 -> 02:35.840] it doesn't matter if you score an own goal,
[02:35.840 -> 02:37.060] it doesn't matter if you lose, you always win.
[02:37.060 -> 02:38.520] Your value is always here.
[02:38.520 -> 02:40.940] In football is always a complete other way around.
[02:40.940 -> 02:43.480] It's like you score a goal, you win a trophy, boom,
[02:43.480 -> 02:44.940] but then you lose and you're down here.
[02:44.940 -> 02:46.400] So you never in the middle and everything a trophy, boom. But then you lose and you're down here. So you're never in the middle.
[02:46.400 -> 02:49.160] And everything around you, all the voices around you,
[02:49.160 -> 02:51.500] your coach doesn't pick you if you don't play well.
[02:51.500 -> 02:55.060] The media doesn't talk good about you,
[02:55.060 -> 02:56.400] but it's not that they don't talk good about you,
[02:56.400 -> 02:57.440] they talk bad.
[02:57.440 -> 02:59.320] So they dig you a hole, you know?
[02:59.320 -> 03:01.440] And then some of people that you call friends,
[03:01.440 -> 03:02.440] maybe you're not playing that well,
[03:02.440 -> 03:04.480] but they don't talk to you as much.
[03:04.480 -> 03:05.840] But then when you do well again
[03:05.840 -> 03:08.880] everyone is messaging you every week, and oh what a great game you played
[03:08.880 -> 03:12.000] everyone on Instagram, so the can do is constantly like this. So you're being
[03:12.000 -> 03:14.800] defined by what happens on a football field? Yeah, basically your self-esteem is
[03:14.800 -> 03:17.360] like performance self-esteem, it's not like
[03:17.360 -> 03:20.640] your value is dictated by your performance, which
[03:20.640 -> 03:25.440] not healthy human beings can be happy with those metrics.
[03:25.440 -> 03:27.880] But then you have to hate losing and love winning
[03:27.880 -> 03:28.720] to then be calm.
[03:28.720 -> 03:30.480] But then I feel like when that candle
[03:30.480 -> 03:31.680] is always burning so hard,
[03:31.680 -> 03:34.000] then it's so easy to get blown out at the same time.
[03:34.000 -> 03:37.320] So it's always constantly highs and lows, highs and lows.
[03:37.320 -> 03:40.160] Whereas I feel like a lot of people that are happy
[03:40.160 -> 03:42.440] are people that sometimes like they just work their nine
[03:42.440 -> 03:44.640] to five, they have their family,
[03:44.640 -> 03:48.720] their life is always somehow in like the same way and like they appreciate things that,
[03:49.520 -> 03:53.840] just simple things, they appreciate waking up in the morning and they taste the coffee and you know
[03:53.840 -> 03:58.800] how far this coffee's come from and who's made, you know, there's so many like enjoying the-
[03:58.800 -> 04:02.720] I relate, I feel jealous of people like that, don't you? I see them and I think I wish I could feel-
[04:02.720 -> 04:07.200] And I feel like I'm trying to become more that and I'm trying to be enjoying more the little
[04:07.200 -> 04:11.360] things and the simple things in life and I think quarantine that's been so great for so many people
[04:11.360 -> 04:15.360] because even just spending time with the kids at home when they were working in the office every
[04:15.360 -> 04:20.320] single day of the week and things like that and to me it's made me appreciate more the sunset and
[04:20.320 -> 04:25.320] where I live I can't even see the stars where but I couldn't see them in London. And it's been great, you know, having those little moments,
[04:25.320 -> 04:29.320] but I think the way that we raise kids playing
[04:29.320 -> 04:31.560] in this kind of game,
[04:31.560 -> 04:34.860] it's not healthy for them when they become older.
[04:36.000 -> 04:37.640] As always, thanks so much for joining us.
[04:37.640 -> 04:39.680] Don't forget, you can also get your hands on our book.
[04:39.680 -> 04:42.920] It's so much more than just conversations about the podcast.
[04:42.920 -> 04:44.880] It is lessons to change your life.
[04:44.880 -> 04:48.720] So if you feel like you need a change and you're ready to embrace it you're ready to grow
[04:49.080 -> 04:55.860] You're ready to challenge yourself and get your hands on high-performance lessons from the best on becoming your best
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