Podcast: The High Performance
Published Date:
Mon, 01 Jan 2024 03:00:59 GMT
Duration:
1:12:05
Explicit:
False
Guests:
MP3 Audio:
Please note that the summary is generated based on the transcript and may not capture all the nuances or details discussed in the podcast episode.
Ben Bergeron is a trainer of multiple CrossFit champions and the man behind fitness app, CompTrain, as well as the author of the book, ‘Chasing Excellence’. He is one of the most successful CrossFit coaches of all time, having quit his job in finance to work with athletes.
In this episode he discusses the mindset that creates champions, how small changes can create big results, and where people often go wrong on their journey towards fitness. Ben explores how out emotional responses can trigger physiological changes in the body, and how through awareness, we can have increased agency over these reactions. He also shares the idea of our inner voice and how this can take on the role of critic or coach at different times.
Ben provides a toolset of ideas, practises and actions to move into the new year with renewed purpose.
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### Section 1: Mindset and the Voice in Your Head
- High performance is achieving your peak potential, but distractions like competition, external circumstances, and internal dialogue can hinder it.
- The internal dialogue, often a critic rather than a coach, is the biggest mental distraction.
- Awareness of this inner voice is crucial for high performance.
- Hard physical training can enhance awareness of the inner voice and improve overall performance.
### Section 2: Changing the Inner Voice and Defining Goals
- The inner voice can be changed through awareness and practice.
- Setting goals can be counterproductive as they rely on motivation and dopamine hits, leading to a lack of sustained progress.
- Instead of focusing on goals, define a process that outlines the steps needed to achieve the desired outcome.
- This process should include aspects like eating, sleeping, training, thinking, and connecting.
- The focus should be on developing character traits like discipline, commitment, humility, and fortitude.
### Section 3: The Hierarchy of Mindset
- The hierarchy of mindset includes five levels: victim, pessimist, optimist, realist, and warrior.
- The victim mindset takes no ownership and blames external factors for their situation.
- The pessimist mindset complains and sees challenges as insurmountable.
- The optimist mindset believes the future will be better than the past but may not be the top performer in all domains.
- The realist mindset understands that there's good and bad in life and focuses on responding to circumstances rather than reacting to them.
- The warrior mindset seeks challenges and strives for continuous improvement.
### Section 4: Responding to Life's Circumstances
- The ability to respond to life's circumstances is crucial for high performance.
- Victims react to circumstances, while realists respond with control and agency.
- True warriors actively seek challenges to grow and improve.
- Developing a warrior mindset involves embracing challenges, seeking discomfort, and pushing boundaries.
### Section 5: Building a Strong Foundation for Change
- Lasting change requires a belief in personal control and agency.
- Focusing on changing external circumstances is ineffective.
- The focus should be on developing inner strength, character, and resilience.
- Building a strong foundation of character traits like discipline, commitment, and fortitude is essential for sustainable change.
### Section 6: Practical Steps for Developing a Warrior Mindset
- Embrace challenges and seek discomfort.
- Step outside your comfort zone and try new things.
- Push your limits and boundaries.
- Develop a growth mindset and embrace failure as an opportunity for learning.
- Surround yourself with positive and supportive people.
- Practice mindfulness and meditation to cultivate self-awareness and inner peace.
### Section 7: Conclusion
- High performance is achievable through a combination of physical training, mental fortitude, and a warrior mindset.
- By developing a strong foundation of character and embracing challenges, individuals can overcome obstacles, achieve their goals, and live a fulfilling life.
# Podcast Episode Summary:
## Key Points:
- Ben Bergeron, a renowned CrossFit coach and fitness expert, emphasizes the significance of mindset in achieving success and personal growth.
- Small, consistent changes can accumulate into substantial results, rather than relying solely on drastic transformations.
- Our emotional responses often trigger physiological changes in the body, and awareness of this connection empowers us to manage these reactions effectively.
- The inner voice can manifest as either a critic or a coach, influencing our thoughts, emotions, and actions.
- Ben provides practical tools, ideas, and actionable steps to help individuals navigate the new year with renewed purpose and direction.
## Episode Highlights:
- **The Power of Mindset:** Ben highlights the importance of cultivating a mindset that embraces challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth, rather than viewing them as obstacles.
- **Small Changes, Big Results:** He emphasizes the value of making small, incremental changes over time, rather than attempting drastic transformations that are often unsustainable.
- **Emotional Responses and Physiology:** Ben explains how our emotional responses can trigger physiological changes in the body, such as increased heart rate, shallow breathing, and muscle tension. By becoming aware of this connection, we can learn to manage these reactions and prevent them from negatively impacting our well-being.
- **The Inner Voice:** Ben introduces the concept of the inner voice, which can take on the role of either a critic or a coach. The critic tends to be negative and judgmental, while the coach is supportive and encouraging. Recognizing and nurturing the coach within can help us overcome self-doubt and self-criticism.
- **Tools for Success:** Ben offers a range of practical tools and actionable steps to help individuals move forward with renewed purpose and direction, including setting clear goals, practicing self-awareness, and developing a growth mindset.
## Overall Message:
Ben Bergeron's podcast episode provides a thought-provoking exploration of the mindset and habits that contribute to personal success and fulfillment. He challenges listeners to embrace challenges, make small but consistent changes, and cultivate a positive inner voice. By adopting these principles, individuals can navigate the new year with a renewed sense of purpose and direction.
##Summary of the Podcast Episode: Chasing Excellence: Mindset and Agency##
**Guest:** Ben Bergeron, trainer of multiple CrossFit champions and author of the book, ‘Chasing Excellence’.
**Topics:**
* **Mindset and Agency:**
* Mindset is the key to creating champions.
* Small changes in mindset can lead to big results.
* People often go wrong on their journey towards fitness because they focus on external factors rather than taking ownership of their health and well-being.
* **Emotional Responses and Physiological Changes:**
* Our emotional responses can trigger physiological changes in the body.
* Awareness of these emotional responses can give us increased agency over our reactions.
* We have the power to change our lives by changing our responses to life's challenges.
* **Inner Voice and Self-Talk:**
* Our inner voice can take on the role of either a critic or a coach.
* The critic is always negative and judgmental, while the coach is supportive and encouraging.
* We can learn to recognize and control our inner voice to create a more positive and productive mindset.
* **Tools and Strategies for a Renewed Year:**
* Surround yourself with like-minded people who support your goals.
* Start small and gradually increase your activity level.
* Focus on progress, not perfection.
* Be kind to yourself and celebrate your successes.
* **Transitional Period:**
* Ben Bergeron recently retired as a coach from CrossFit Games and has created an app, CompTrain, to help people achieve their fitness goals.
* He is passionate about helping people of all levels improve their health and well-being.
* **Key Takeaways:**
* We have more agency over our lives than we realize.
* We can change our mindset to change our results.
* We can learn to control our inner voice and create a more positive and productive mindset.
* Small changes in mindset and habits can lead to big results.
**Unleashing the Champion Mindset: A Journey Towards Excellence with Ben Bergeron**
In this captivating podcast episode, Ben Bergeron, a renowned CrossFit coach and author, delves into the intricacies of the champion mindset, emphasizing the significance of small changes in achieving remarkable results. Bergeron, who has guided numerous CrossFit athletes to victory, shares valuable insights into the emotional responses that trigger physiological changes in the body and how awareness can empower individuals to exert greater control over these reactions.
Bergeron introduces the concept of the inner voice, which can adopt the role of either a critic or a coach, influencing an individual's thoughts and actions. He provides a comprehensive toolkit of ideas, practices, and actionable steps to help listeners embark on the new year with renewed purpose and determination.
The discussion centers around five distinct mindsets: the victim, the pessimist, the optimist, the realist, and the warrior. Bergeron emphasizes the importance of transitioning from an optimistic mindset, where individuals believe that things will eventually improve, to a realistic mindset, where they acknowledge the challenges and take proactive steps to overcome them.
Bergeron stresses the significance of setting realistic goals and focusing on consistent progress rather than seeking immediate perfection. He encourages listeners to embrace challenges and view them as opportunities for growth and development. By cultivating a warrior mindset, individuals can develop resilience, perseverance, and the ability to thrive under pressure.
The podcast delves into the concept of emotional intelligence, highlighting its role in managing stress, building relationships, and making informed decisions. Bergeron emphasizes the importance of understanding one's own emotions and the emotions of others, as well as the ability to regulate and express emotions in a healthy manner.
Bergeron concludes the podcast by emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and self-reflection in the pursuit of excellence. He encourages listeners to take time to reflect on their thoughts, feelings, and actions, and to make adjustments as needed to align with their goals and values.
Overall, this podcast episode offers a wealth of insights and practical strategies for cultivating a champion mindset, fostering emotional intelligence, and achieving personal and professional success. Bergeron's expertise and passion for helping individuals reach their full potential shine through, making this conversation an invaluable resource for anyone seeking to embark on a journey of excellence.
[00:00.000 -> 00:04.720] High Performance are collaborating with Run Through to host our very own half marathon this March.
[00:04.720 -> 00:09.600] The High Performance London Half and 10k is taking place at the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park on
[00:09.600 -> 00:15.680] Sunday 3rd March 2024. As well as the personal challenge of running a half marathon or 10k,
[00:15.680 -> 00:19.200] we also encourage you to fundraise for the High Performance Foundation.
[00:19.200 -> 00:22.960] The High Performance Foundation gives young people the tools and skills they need
[00:22.960 -> 00:28.280] to kickstart their journey to a future where they can thrive. We can't wait to show you what the Foundation team
[00:28.280 -> 00:32.480] have been working on. Sign up to the High Performance Half Marathon and kick off your
[00:32.480 -> 00:35.880] fundraising today. Head to our website for more information.
[00:35.880 -> 00:42.000] Hey, how's it going? You're listening to High Performance, the award-winning podcast that
[00:42.000 -> 00:45.320] unlocks the minds of some of the most fascinating people on the planet.
[00:45.820 -> 00:49.960] I'm Jay Comfrey and alongside Professor Damian Hughes, we learn from the stories,
[00:50.240 -> 00:54.040] successes, and struggles of our guests, allowing us all to explore,
[00:54.360 -> 00:56.040] be challenged, and to grow.
[00:56.880 -> 00:58.120] Here's what's in store today.
[00:59.760 -> 01:04.080] This is the foundational aspect of why people make change or not.
[01:04.200 -> 01:09.400] If they feel like they're not in control of their lives, the change will not last.
[01:09.400 -> 01:12.800] The realist, instead of pointing fingers, pulls thumbs.
[01:12.800 -> 01:13.800] It's about me.
[01:13.800 -> 01:14.800] It's about my character.
[01:14.800 -> 01:20.440] It's how do I respond to these circumstances.
[01:20.440 -> 01:24.680] If you could do two things through your life, show up and don't complain.
[01:24.680 -> 01:25.840] If you are complaining, you're focusing on things through your life, show up and don't complain. If you are complaining,
[01:25.840 -> 01:27.880] you're focusing on things outside of your control.
[01:27.880 -> 01:30.600] We have to get away from this motivational,
[01:30.600 -> 01:33.400] dopamine driven thing where it goes,
[01:33.400 -> 01:36.080] am I getting closer or farther away from my goal?
[01:36.080 -> 01:38.040] This is why people are able to hold on
[01:38.040 -> 01:41.060] to their New Year's resolutions for a few weeks,
[01:41.060 -> 01:42.400] and then they have a misstep.
[01:42.400 -> 01:43.520] It's gonna happen.
[01:43.520 -> 01:51.560] It's coming for all of us. Do hard work pound on your craft have that hard conversation get up in
[01:51.560 -> 01:56.160] the morning get out of bed don't hit the snooze alarm let's go do the work I
[01:56.160 -> 02:01.040] can't wait as we welcome to high performance the most successful coach in
[02:01.040 -> 02:05.840] CrossFit history Ben Bergeron Ben's athletes have won or meddled at
[02:05.840 -> 02:11.120] the CrossFit Games again and again and again. And now he's flown over from the
[02:11.120 -> 02:15.020] States to join us in the studio to have a conversation on high performance where
[02:15.020 -> 02:19.560] he distills his motivation, his techniques and his pathway to success
[02:19.560 -> 02:24.200] just for you. So whatever you want from your life, whatever you want from the new
[02:24.200 -> 02:25.240] year ahead of you,
[02:25.240 -> 02:27.460] this conversation will get you closer.
[02:27.460 -> 02:30.200] Honestly, I sat there listening to Ben feeling so inspired.
[02:30.200 -> 02:33.640] I left this conversation wanting to take on the world.
[02:33.640 -> 02:35.880] I promise you, this is a powerful one.
[02:35.880 -> 02:37.640] And actually, if you want even more from Ben,
[02:37.640 -> 02:39.600] then over on the High Performance app,
[02:39.600 -> 02:42.680] he shared with us his 10 rules for life.
[02:42.680 -> 02:43.520] They're brilliant.
[02:43.520 -> 02:44.500] He lives by them.
[02:44.500 -> 02:45.920] They've been game-changing for him. They might well do the same rules for life. They're brilliant. He lives by them. They've been game changing for
[02:45.920 -> 02:49.840] him. They might well do the same thing for you. So just head over to the app store,
[02:49.840 -> 02:55.200] download the high performance app for even more from Ben Bergeron. But let's get to it then.
[02:55.200 -> 02:59.520] One of the most inspiring and motivational conversations we've had on this podcast
[02:59.520 -> 03:10.480] as we welcome the world's most successful CrossFit coach, Ben Bergeron, to High Performance.
[03:10.480 -> 03:15.760] As a person with a very deep voice, I'm hired all the time for advertising campaigns.
[03:15.760 -> 03:21.480] But a deep voice doesn't sell B2B, and advertising on the wrong platform doesn't sell B2B either.
[03:21.480 -> 03:25.600] That's why if you're a B2B marketer, you should use LinkedIn ads.
[03:25.600 -> 03:29.600] LinkedIn has the targeting capabilities to help you reach the world's largest professional
[03:29.600 -> 03:35.840] audience. That's right, over 70 million decision makers all in one place. All the big wigs,
[03:35.840 -> 03:40.760] then medium wigs, also small wigs who are on the path to becoming big wigs. Okay, that's
[03:40.760 -> 03:46.160] enough about wigs. LinkedIn ads allows you to focus on getting your B2B message to the right people.
[03:46.160 -> 03:50.480] So, does that mean you should use ads on LinkedIn instead of hiring me,
[03:50.480 -> 03:53.040] the man with the deepest voice in the world?
[03:53.040 -> 03:54.960] Yes. Yes, it does.
[03:54.960 -> 03:59.520] Get started today and see why LinkedIn is the place to be, to be.
[03:59.520 -> 04:02.840] We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign.
[04:02.840 -> 04:06.000] Go to LinkedIn.com slash results to claim your credit.
[04:06.000 -> 04:09.520] That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply.
[04:12.720 -> 04:17.040] On our podcast, we love to highlight businesses that are doing things a better way so you can
[04:17.040 -> 04:22.560] live a better life. And that's why when I found Mint Mobile, I had to share. So Mint Mobile
[04:22.560 -> 04:29.500] ditched retail stores and all those overhead costs and instead sells their phone plans online and passes those savings to
[04:29.500 -> 04:33.380] you. And for a limited time they're passing on even more savings with a new
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[04:46.480 -> 04:50.240] And by the way, the quality of Mint Mobile's wireless service
[04:50.240 -> 04:53.120] in comparison to providers that we've worked with before
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[05:19.120 -> 05:23.720] So ditch overpriced wireless with Mint Mobile's limited time deal and get premium wireless
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[05:38.920 -> 05:46.300] Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash HPP. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions
[05:46.300 -> 05:57.140] apply. See Mint Mobile for details. Ben, welcome to the show.
[05:57.140 -> 05:58.600] Excited to be here. Thank you guys.
[05:58.600 -> 06:03.100] Thank you very much for taking the time and making the effort to fly across the Atlantic
[06:03.100 -> 06:08.280] to come and join us. Let's start with what you believe high performance to be.
[06:08.280 -> 06:11.200] It's a great question. I know it's a question you guys ask everybody, but it's a great way
[06:11.200 -> 06:17.960] to start off any conversation like this. To me, high performance is the ability to perform
[06:17.960 -> 06:30.200] at your peak potential. Now, it sounds probably fairly obvious, but it's not as easy to attain than we might think it is.
[06:30.200 -> 06:40.280] I believe that performance equals, it's formulaic, performance equals your potential minus distractions.
[06:40.280 -> 06:42.860] And distractions come in a whole host of different ways.
[06:42.860 -> 06:45.440] It could be from the competition you're facing.
[06:45.440 -> 06:48.560] It could be from the external circumstances
[06:48.560 -> 06:51.120] of it's cold or it's hot.
[06:51.120 -> 06:54.000] It could be from the burning muscles in your legs.
[06:55.200 -> 06:59.200] But the biggest distraction that we all face all the time
[06:59.200 -> 07:02.480] that we should put on the table to have a conversation about
[07:02.480 -> 07:05.240] for elite athletes or
[07:05.240 -> 07:09.840] Regular everyday athletes or everyday soccer moms and dads as we call them the States. I don't know
[07:10.360 -> 07:12.920] soccer moms dad's that resonate. Yeah. Yeah, okay is
[07:13.680 -> 07:19.360] This internal dialogue that we all have and it's the biggest distraction that most of us face
[07:19.560 -> 07:23.840] It is the thing that is holding us back from high performance
[07:24.160 -> 07:28.360] if we're to if we were to remove that distraction,
[07:28.360 -> 07:32.360] we would have such a more likely chance
[07:32.360 -> 07:34.420] of achieving high performance.
[07:34.420 -> 07:39.420] But we have a voice that runs in the background.
[07:40.240 -> 07:42.580] Sometimes it's soft, sometimes it's loud,
[07:42.580 -> 07:45.440] sometimes it's helpful, sometimes it's hurtful.
[07:45.440 -> 07:49.040] The verbiage I've used before is become aware of that voice
[07:49.040 -> 07:52.120] and is that voice a critic or a coach?
[07:52.120 -> 07:56.760] And if that voice is a coach, it's there to help you.
[07:56.760 -> 08:00.840] And this is when you hear like the voice in the head go,
[08:00.840 -> 08:05.100] you got this, buckle down, But that's not the norm.
[08:05.100 -> 08:08.560] That's not the default mode for most of us.
[08:08.560 -> 08:13.080] Most of us have a voice that resonates on the negative,
[08:13.080 -> 08:14.640] which is a critic.
[08:14.640 -> 08:18.800] And a critic's job is to sit on the sidelines
[08:18.800 -> 08:21.500] and point out the mistakes, the faults,
[08:21.500 -> 08:24.420] and the shortcomings of the performer.
[08:24.420 -> 08:27.860] So if that voice in your head is a critic,
[08:27.860 -> 08:29.980] we're never gonna reach our high performance.
[08:29.980 -> 08:31.960] Now, what is true high performance?
[08:31.960 -> 08:35.000] It's that sustained over a long period of time,
[08:35.000 -> 08:36.880] pounding away at a certain craft,
[08:36.880 -> 08:39.240] whatever that is, your chosen endeavor,
[08:39.240 -> 08:40.560] and that's what leads to it.
[08:40.560 -> 08:43.120] But if you have, there's always this idea
[08:43.120 -> 08:50.100] of like the 10,000 hours will lead to mastery. The new one is if you do 18 minutes of practice a day for an entire year, you'll
[08:50.100 -> 08:55.360] be better than 95% of anybody in anything. That's really cool. Just 18 minutes a day
[08:55.360 -> 09:01.240] of jump rope. If you jump rope 18 minutes a day, every single day for a year, you'd
[09:01.240 -> 09:09.520] be better than 95% of the world's population at jump rope. And there's examples of this. It's all cool on YouTube or the Instagrams now,
[09:09.520 -> 09:15.200] people are doing this. But the thing that will hold you back is not necessarily
[09:15.920 -> 09:21.760] your physical ability as much as it is the mental distractions. The things tugging you away from
[09:22.400 -> 09:27.520] the consistency, from the discipline, from the practice, from doing things that get you to high performance.
[09:27.520 -> 09:28.960] So people that are listening to this
[09:28.960 -> 09:30.640] and they know exactly what you're talking about
[09:30.640 -> 09:32.320] because they have that negative voice
[09:32.320 -> 09:33.360] and they know it very well,
[09:34.400 -> 09:35.520] I would imagine they're saying,
[09:35.520 -> 09:39.040] well, I have a negative, not a positive voice in my head.
[09:39.680 -> 09:40.960] Can the voice be changed?
[09:40.960 -> 09:42.080] Yeah, absolutely.
[09:44.160 -> 09:49.360] Just like you can change your muscles, you can change your mind. It's plastic, meaning it's malleable. It's not
[09:49.360 -> 09:55.440] fixed. What the voice in your head, for many of us, it will default to a negative because we are
[09:55.440 -> 10:01.440] survival machines from a, uh, evolutionarily biological perspective. It's more important
[10:01.440 -> 10:05.180] to remember that that big furry animal with the claws can kill you,
[10:05.180 -> 10:08.260] than the colorful one with the wings is really pretty.
[10:08.260 -> 10:09.720] Like the colorful one with the wings
[10:09.720 -> 10:11.080] doesn't help you in survival.
[10:11.080 -> 10:13.440] And that's what we are, survival machines.
[10:13.440 -> 10:16.120] So we have this preservation model built into us,
[10:16.120 -> 10:18.160] which is the bias towards the negative.
[10:19.080 -> 10:21.280] The mechanism that we wanna use
[10:21.280 -> 10:25.680] to kind of work our way through that is first awareness.
[10:26.400 -> 10:29.840] It's really, you know, you just mentioned like everyone understands it.
[10:30.640 -> 10:31.600] A lot of people don't.
[10:31.600 -> 10:33.600] A lot of people don't recognize that voice in their head.
[10:33.600 -> 10:36.800] And they certainly don't recognize it's running on a loop all the time.
[10:37.440 -> 10:39.840] That it shows up when it's screaming.
[10:39.840 -> 10:43.680] And that's why, which we might get to, hard physical training
[10:43.680 -> 10:45.360] is such a gateway
[10:45.360 -> 10:48.040] to high performance, regardless of the endeavor.
[10:48.640 -> 10:51.000] Entrepreneurs that start physically training hard, all of a sudden
[10:51.000 -> 10:52.600] are better entrepreneurs.
[10:52.880 -> 10:55.120] Parents that start training hard become better parents.
[10:55.200 -> 10:55.640] Hold on.
[10:55.800 -> 10:56.640] That's a revelation.
[10:56.640 -> 10:59.760] You train harder, you're better at things that are nothing to do with training?
[10:59.840 -> 11:00.280] Absolutely.
[11:00.480 -> 11:00.880] Yes.
[11:00.880 -> 11:07.200] And we, this is, we are not a, a, a bag, a bag of flesh.
[11:07.200 -> 11:08.300] It's not your body.
[11:08.300 -> 11:10.600] And then you have this circuitry up in your head.
[11:10.600 -> 11:12.000] You are one unit.
[11:12.000 -> 11:15.300] You are mind, body, spirit, all rolled into one.
[11:15.300 -> 11:20.200] And it's not as neat as like the little pie chart of mind, body, and spirit.
[11:20.200 -> 11:22.600] It is this kaleidoscope.
[11:22.600 -> 11:27.100] It is this mixed solution of the mind body spirit
[11:27.100 -> 11:29.800] You don't get one improvement without the other
[11:30.040 -> 11:37.360] So as you improve your body the circuitry that runs through the body improves, so you're getting more
[11:38.000 -> 11:43.720] Oxygen the neuron the neurons to the brain you're getting better decision-making you're better better awareness
[11:43.720 -> 11:49.680] But to come back to it what you're also getting is better awareness of the voice in your head.
[11:50.400 -> 11:55.280] If you do hard training, if you're running wind sprints and, you know, in football,
[11:55.280 -> 12:02.560] like a beep test, if you're doing a beep test, when you finish that 10th, 15th, 20th interval,
[12:02.560 -> 12:06.520] and you're waiting for that next, you can't ignore the voice in your head
[12:06.520 -> 12:08.000] that's saying something.
[12:08.000 -> 12:09.880] Is it saying like, you got this, go one more?
[12:09.880 -> 12:11.880] Or is it like, this is so freaking hard?
[12:11.880 -> 12:12.920] Like you can't ignore it,
[12:12.920 -> 12:14.360] like I don't wanna do another one.
[12:14.360 -> 12:15.920] It's there screaming at you.
[12:15.920 -> 12:17.800] In our sport, in CrossFit,
[12:18.880 -> 12:21.080] your lungs are ripping out of your chest,
[12:21.080 -> 12:23.900] your muscles are burning to the point
[12:23.900 -> 12:29.000] where you're having a hard time standing, and you have to pick up a barbell, put it above your head.
[12:29.000 -> 12:33.500] That voice that's playing both those roles really loudly, the devil and the angel, if
[12:33.500 -> 12:34.500] you will.
[12:34.500 -> 12:36.920] Other people call it self one, self two.
[12:36.920 -> 12:40.680] Other people, Freud called it the id, the ego, and the super ego.
[12:40.680 -> 12:44.920] There's all these different names for it, but basically it's this dichotomy between
[12:44.920 -> 12:46.800] something that wants you to do what's right for you
[12:46.800 -> 12:49.000] and the other one that's in preservation mode.
[12:49.000 -> 12:53.200] Go sit on the couch, snooze, don't get up in the morning,
[12:53.200 -> 12:56.900] go eat the sugar-covered blueberry muffin,
[12:56.900 -> 12:58.800] have the croissants.
[12:58.800 -> 13:02.000] It's time to watch another show on Netflix.
[13:02.000 -> 13:06.080] That is inside of all of us.
[13:06.080 -> 13:09.440] But equally inside all of us is the voice that goes,
[13:09.440 -> 13:11.480] for the audience that listens to this,
[13:11.480 -> 13:14.600] is go get it, dude, do the hard work,
[13:14.600 -> 13:18.500] pound on your craft, have that hard conversation,
[13:18.500 -> 13:20.640] get up in the morning, get out of bed,
[13:20.640 -> 13:23.280] don't hit the snooze alarm, let's go do the work.
[13:23.280 -> 13:28.800] But those are always at, we have to recognize those are in that awareness of those things. But being
[13:28.800 -> 13:34.100] aware Ben, I'm like I'm listening to my inner critic now and so I was with you
[13:34.100 -> 13:37.920] with the 18 minutes, do 18 minutes a day because that's a short amount of time in
[13:37.920 -> 13:41.840] a busy life that you think I can commit to that. Yeah. But as soon as you said
[13:41.840 -> 13:45.320] we've got to do the hard, the hard stuff and it sounded
[13:45.320 -> 13:51.760] like the wind runs, the bleep test. I'm thinking, maybe not then. So me and the critic is now
[13:51.760 -> 13:57.040] getting loud. So tell me what, like, what's your definition of hard for anyone listening
[13:57.040 -> 13:58.040] to this?
[13:58.040 -> 14:02.000] So hard doesn't mean, it doesn't mean the beep test. It doesn't mean putting 300 pounds
[14:02.000 -> 14:05.040] above your head. It doesn't mean training to run a marathon.
[14:05.040 -> 14:08.180] If I had my way, I would get rid of goals.
[14:08.180 -> 14:10.180] I wouldn't have goals exist.
[14:10.180 -> 14:11.020] Really?
[14:11.020 -> 14:11.840] It's a goal.
[14:11.840 -> 14:13.620] We've all been to all our lives.
[14:13.620 -> 14:14.460] And the goals are-
[14:14.460 -> 14:15.680] You wanna be successful?
[14:15.680 -> 14:17.240] Choose your goal, get your goal.
[14:17.240 -> 14:18.080] Yeah.
[14:18.080 -> 14:19.480] And then tell me what your goal is.
[14:19.480 -> 14:21.160] If I'm gonna be your coach,
[14:21.160 -> 14:22.560] if I'm gonna be your trainer,
[14:22.560 -> 14:28.240] if I'm gonna start the new year off right with you guys, tell me your goal. Because I want you to get it out in the open,
[14:28.240 -> 14:31.360] I want you to say it. And then we're going to put it on a shelf and we're never going
[14:31.360 -> 14:36.320] to talk about it again. All I need to know is what it is. I want to run a marathon, I
[14:36.320 -> 14:38.240] want to lose 10 kilos.
[14:38.240 -> 14:43.180] But what would yours be? Let's be really honest, like your fitness goal?
[14:43.180 -> 14:45.960] My fitness goal is just to exercise more regularly.
[14:45.960 -> 14:47.960] I love running for my mental benefits.
[14:47.960 -> 14:51.960] That's, so that's not the goal that I'm talking about.
[14:51.960 -> 14:53.600] That's what I want you to get to, right?
[14:53.600 -> 14:56.720] See, mine would be, I want a real nice looking,
[14:56.720 -> 14:58.320] perfectly shaped six pack.
[14:58.320 -> 14:59.680] And when friends come over
[14:59.680 -> 15:01.760] and we want to play in the garden,
[15:01.760 -> 15:03.800] my top can come off and I'm not feeling embarrassed.
[15:03.800 -> 15:06.320] Okay, so if that is your goal, we can do all of the garden, my top can come off and I'm not feeling embarrassed. Okay, so if that is your goal,
[15:06.320 -> 15:10.480] we can do all of the conversation, all of the talk,
[15:10.480 -> 15:13.200] all of the mind thing, all that to create,
[15:13.200 -> 15:17.120] all it's doing is creating some sort of motivational thing
[15:17.120 -> 15:19.080] that as you take a step towards it,
[15:19.080 -> 15:22.000] you get a dopamine hit of I'm getting one step,
[15:22.000 -> 15:27.120] dopamine is this thing that as humans helps get us towards doing the hard thing.
[15:27.120 -> 15:32.000] So we're on a long hunt for a gazelle, try to stay alive.
[15:32.240 -> 15:36.880] And as we feel ourself getting closer to it, we go, Ooh, I'm getting, and you
[15:36.880 -> 15:40.600] get like a second wind and I'm getting closer, I'm getting closer to my goal.
[15:42.360 -> 15:45.000] But that's doesn't actually get you anywhere.
[15:45.280 -> 15:48.800] The thing that gets you somewhere is tell me your goal.
[15:48.800 -> 15:51.400] Now that I have that, what we actually need to do
[15:51.400 -> 15:55.400] is to define the process of achieving that goal.
[15:55.400 -> 15:58.500] So now that I know it's your, you want to be the beach model
[15:58.500 -> 16:00.640] that turns heads, you want to be the guy that,
[16:00.640 -> 16:03.640] when everyone goes, Ooh, have you seen Jake?
[16:03.640 -> 16:05.280] He's like, Oh, that you, now that I know that you want that what is the things that when everyone goes, ooh, have you seen Jake? He's like, oh.
[16:05.280 -> 16:07.280] Now that I know that you want that,
[16:07.280 -> 16:09.400] what is the things that we need to do?
[16:09.400 -> 16:12.240] Well, there's gonna be five things.
[16:12.240 -> 16:14.440] It's how you eat, sleep, train, think, and connect.
[16:14.440 -> 16:17.000] So now we got those things in place.
[16:17.000 -> 16:19.360] What are the each of the bullet points
[16:19.360 -> 16:20.200] in each one of the things?
[16:20.200 -> 16:25.000] What we're doing is defining the process.
[16:26.160 -> 16:27.680] So here's where it goes.
[16:27.680 -> 16:29.560] Everyone focuses on goals
[16:29.560 -> 16:32.540] and they pour all their energy into the goal.
[16:34.200 -> 16:35.280] To me, it's a distraction
[16:35.280 -> 16:37.000] because what happens is the next,
[16:37.000 -> 16:38.760] you take two days off and you go,
[16:38.760 -> 16:39.720] I'm never gonna get there.
[16:39.720 -> 16:42.680] You eat the croissants, you go, oh,
[16:42.680 -> 16:45.000] or like you gain weight one day and you go, oh, like you gain weight one day
[16:45.440 -> 16:46.280] and you go, oh.
[16:46.280 -> 16:47.760] Is that why I lose my motivation?
[16:47.760 -> 16:49.920] Exactly, because you're relying on motivation.
[16:49.920 -> 16:52.640] We have to get away from this motivational,
[16:52.640 -> 16:55.480] dopamine driven thing where it goes,
[16:55.480 -> 16:58.120] am I getting closer or farther away from my goal?
[16:58.120 -> 17:00.400] Because I know in the process,
[17:00.400 -> 17:02.960] you're going to have missteps.
[17:02.960 -> 17:05.540] And what happens is when people misstep,
[17:05.540 -> 17:10.100] they go such a big distraction, goals gone, can't do it.
[17:10.100 -> 17:12.040] This is why people are able to hold on
[17:12.040 -> 17:15.040] to their New Year's resolutions for a few weeks,
[17:15.040 -> 17:17.500] and then they have a misstep, it's gonna happen.
[17:17.500 -> 17:19.040] It's coming for all of us.
[17:19.040 -> 17:21.060] We're all going to have a misstep.
[17:21.060 -> 17:21.900] We know it.
[17:21.900 -> 17:23.860] Whether you're trying to be an F1 racer,
[17:23.860 -> 17:26.300] whether you're trying to be a football mom or dad, whether you're trying to start a business, we're all gonna have the misstep, we know it. Whether you're trying to be an F1 racer, whether you're trying to be a football mom or dad,
[17:26.300 -> 17:27.640] whether you're trying to start a business,
[17:27.640 -> 17:29.840] we're all gonna have the missteps.
[17:29.840 -> 17:33.040] If you're focused on the goal, you go, well, there it goes.
[17:33.040 -> 17:34.920] It's too big of a distraction.
[17:34.920 -> 17:38.780] If instead of the goal, we were focused on a process,
[17:38.780 -> 17:41.540] which is I'm gonna go to the gym every single day.
[17:42.440 -> 17:43.360] That's what we need you to do.
[17:43.360 -> 17:45.080] If you wanna look that way,
[17:45.080 -> 17:47.020] I need you to do these sets, these reps,
[17:47.020 -> 17:48.920] I need you to eat these things in this amount,
[17:48.920 -> 17:50.160] I need you to sleep this much.
[17:50.160 -> 17:51.720] So we define the process,
[17:51.720 -> 17:54.060] and now I just need you to follow the process.
[17:54.060 -> 17:57.980] That's, getting back to the full circle, hard.
[17:57.980 -> 18:01.780] Following the process is hard.
[18:01.780 -> 18:04.460] That's the doing the hard things.
[18:04.460 -> 18:05.880] What does that require? What does
[18:05.880 -> 18:11.120] following a process take? It takes a certain level of character. It takes
[18:11.120 -> 18:17.360] discipline, it takes commitment, it takes humility, it takes fortitude. Now what we
[18:17.360 -> 18:21.720] need to do is we can go goal, put on the shelf. Let's refine the process. What's
[18:21.720 -> 18:27.880] working, what's not. But we really need to focus on is what's our character.
[18:27.880 -> 18:29.680] What are the traits that we have?
[18:29.680 -> 18:32.200] So this is at the baseline level of working
[18:32.200 -> 18:35.900] with a individual is we need to understand
[18:35.900 -> 18:38.280] their commitment level, their discipline.
[18:38.280 -> 18:39.400] Are they doing the hard things?
[18:39.400 -> 18:43.360] So it starts with things like no more snoozing,
[18:43.360 -> 18:45.480] like no more hitting the snooze button
[18:45.480 -> 18:46.920] because that's the first thing
[18:46.920 -> 18:48.220] that you're supposed to do that day,
[18:48.220 -> 18:50.120] you're saying, nope, not gonna do it.
[18:50.120 -> 18:51.800] You're starting your day off
[18:51.800 -> 18:54.160] by putting off the first hard thing you have to do,
[18:54.160 -> 18:55.480] which is get out of bed.
[18:55.480 -> 19:00.440] Hard does not mean run 20 miles in the freezing rain.
[19:00.440 -> 19:01.760] That's what everyone says it is.
[19:01.760 -> 19:03.140] What's hard?
[19:03.140 -> 19:05.720] Getting out of bed in the morning on time. That's what's hard
[19:06.360 -> 19:11.400] That's what we want to do is get the discipline there. What else is hard having a really high quality breakfast or
[19:12.440 -> 19:19.280] Intermittent fasting having no breakfast at all. What's the next hard thing going into work with a positive mindset?
[19:19.800 -> 19:28.480] Those are the hard things now. We always push those aside and go, nope, it's going to be about the abs. Well, without those things in place in our lives,
[19:28.480 -> 19:31.440] we're never going to get to those things. We're gonna feel worse about ourselves because we're
[19:31.440 -> 19:36.400] setting goals and not achieving them. We need to start with the fundamental steps of
[19:36.400 -> 19:40.880] developing character. So, this gets us back to the mindset thing and understanding,
[19:40.880 -> 19:44.400] are you helping her? This is what's going on up here.
[19:44.400 -> 19:46.880] So, you're saying what we need
[19:46.880 -> 19:51.040] to do at the very, let's say, you know, someone's tuning into this, it's the start of a new year,
[19:51.040 -> 19:53.840] this is the year they're going to make a difference. What you're saying is before we
[19:53.840 -> 19:59.920] even get to the point where we talk about joining the gym or going running, we need to look at the
[19:59.920 -> 20:08.520] small little mindset changes, the mental changes we can make. Once we get control of that, that's when we can then start talking about the physical
[20:08.520 -> 20:09.520] stuff.
[20:09.520 -> 20:10.520] No, it's not binary.
[20:10.520 -> 20:12.520] It's not step one, step two, step three.
[20:12.520 -> 20:14.680] You can start a physical training program.
[20:14.680 -> 20:17.320] I'm not saying you have to, because you're never going to get this all dialed in.
[20:17.320 -> 20:20.040] You never get the mindset completely dialed in.
[20:20.040 -> 20:26.400] I used to call my framework for mindset, the hierarchy of mindset. Meaning like you start at the lowest stage
[20:26.400 -> 20:29.080] and you have level one and you evolve to level five.
[20:29.080 -> 20:30.920] So tell us about that.
[20:30.920 -> 20:32.840] The lowest level, the lowest level.
[20:32.840 -> 20:34.680] This is what the language I used to use.
[20:34.680 -> 20:35.520] It's not that.
[20:35.520 -> 20:37.400] Where some of us are some of the time
[20:37.400 -> 20:39.640] and more people spend more time here than others
[20:39.640 -> 20:41.360] is a victim mindset.
[20:41.360 -> 20:46.100] The victim mindset takes no ownership of where they are,
[20:46.100 -> 20:48.280] looks for excuses everywhere.
[20:48.280 -> 20:51.740] The reason I am where I am today is because my parents
[20:51.740 -> 20:55.340] were alcoholics, because I live in London
[20:55.340 -> 20:59.180] and there's no sun, because my boss makes me work
[20:59.180 -> 21:04.180] on the weekend, because the political party that I want
[21:04.660 -> 21:05.000] is not in office.
[21:06.760 -> 21:11.200] It's all about outside and taking no ownership of anything.
[21:11.200 -> 21:14.600] It's, woe is me, I'm not a part of this,
[21:14.600 -> 21:16.660] the world is out to get me.
[21:17.500 -> 21:20.720] The next level above that is the pessimist.
[21:20.720 -> 21:22.860] The pessimist isn't necessarily like,
[21:22.860 -> 21:24.440] woe is me and the world's against me,
[21:24.440 -> 21:25.900] but it's this sucks, this is terrible,
[21:25.900 -> 21:29.000] this is gonna be so hard, I hate this and complains.
[21:30.200 -> 21:33.900] Above that, which is kind of strange to think about
[21:33.900 -> 21:35.200] is the optimist.
[21:35.200 -> 21:36.700] Most people put the optimist at the top.
[21:36.700 -> 21:38.300] There's five different places.
[21:38.300 -> 21:40.500] To me, this is the middle.
[21:40.500 -> 21:44.000] The optimist thinks the future's gonna be brighter
[21:44.000 -> 21:45.000] than the past.
[21:45.000 -> 21:51.000] They see opportunities, not obstacles, but it's not the top.
[21:51.000 -> 21:56.000] And the reason it's not the top is in many domains, in many circumstances,
[21:56.000 -> 22:00.000] the optimist will not be the top performer.
[22:00.000 -> 22:03.000] And this has been shown in prisoners of war.
[22:03.000 -> 22:06.900] Yeah, the Stockdale paradox. Exactly right. It's the guy that goes,
[22:07.900 -> 22:10.300] it's so good, exactly the Stockdale paradox,
[22:10.300 -> 22:15.300] which is first, the optimists are the first to die
[22:15.500 -> 22:18.500] because they say, it's okay guys,
[22:18.500 -> 22:19.500] we're gonna be out by Christmas.
[22:19.500 -> 22:22.500] It's this hope. Reality does not meet their expectation.
[22:22.500 -> 22:27.200] Happiness is reality minus expectations.
[22:27.200 -> 22:29.040] So if your expectations were too high
[22:29.040 -> 22:31.520] and reality isn't meeting it, you're in a deficit
[22:31.520 -> 22:33.680] and they actually die of a broken heart.
[22:33.680 -> 22:36.520] Pessimists go, we're never fucking getting out of here.
[22:36.520 -> 22:38.680] And they'll outlive the optimists.
[22:38.680 -> 22:42.780] But the people that live the longest are the realist.
[22:42.780 -> 22:47.740] So it goes, victim, pessimist, optimist, realist.
[22:48.160 -> 22:52.780] And the realist understands that there's good and bad.
[22:52.780 -> 22:53.840] It's gonna be a part of our lives.
[22:53.840 -> 22:55.380] There's challenges.
[22:55.380 -> 22:57.760] As Shakespeare said, there is no good or bad,
[22:57.760 -> 22:59.740] but thinking makes it so.
[22:59.740 -> 23:02.040] We don't know if things are good or bad.
[23:02.040 -> 23:05.440] We really just, we want to quickly judge things. Cause
[23:05.440 -> 23:09.440] again, our survival instinct says that was bad. Make sure you don't do that again. But
[23:10.080 -> 23:14.400] the, the parable that a lot of people probably heard about that exemplifies this so well as
[23:14.400 -> 23:20.480] the wise old farmer, go on. The wise old farmer lives on top of a hill with his son. And one day,
[23:20.480 -> 23:26.680] the son is tending to their lone horse in the stable and he leaves the gate to the stable open.
[23:26.680 -> 23:29.520] And their only horse runs away.
[23:29.520 -> 23:32.160] The village people come running up to the wise old farmer
[23:32.160 -> 23:34.980] and say, oh my God, that's so terrible.
[23:34.980 -> 23:35.820] You're so unlucky.
[23:35.820 -> 23:38.240] What are you gonna do without your only horse?
[23:38.240 -> 23:40.400] And the wise old farmer pauses and turns to the villagers
[23:40.400 -> 23:42.100] and says, well, we'll see.
[23:43.000 -> 23:48.540] And three days later, their horse returns and brings eight new stallions back with him.
[23:48.540 -> 23:49.840] And the villagers come up running again.
[23:49.840 -> 23:51.000] They're like, this is amazing.
[23:51.000 -> 23:53.160] You're now the wealthiest man in the whole village.
[23:53.160 -> 23:54.700] You are so lucky.
[23:54.700 -> 23:57.920] And his response to the villagers is, we'll see.
[23:59.040 -> 24:01.300] The next day, the son is trying to break,
[24:01.300 -> 24:03.500] trying to tame one of the wild stallions.
[24:03.500 -> 24:05.840] He gets bucked off and breaks his leg.
[24:06.000 -> 24:09.680] And once again, the villagers come running up and say, oh my gosh, this is so terrible.
[24:09.760 -> 24:14.420] What are you gonna do without your field hand, without your son capable? He can't help you on the farm. He says,
[24:15.040 -> 24:17.040] we'll see.
[24:17.040 -> 24:23.380] The next week, the village comes under attack, a brutal battle, and the soldiers come from house to house
[24:23.560 -> 24:26.680] recruiting all the men to go and die in this battle.
[24:26.680 -> 24:30.340] And they have to pass over the farmer's son because he has a broken leg.
[24:31.040 -> 24:36.400] The moral, obviously the story is we'd like to, we like to be the villagers. That's so bad. This is so great.
[24:36.400 -> 24:42.500] That's so bad. This is so great. You lose a match, you get fired, you get a breakup with somebody,
[24:42.680 -> 24:46.600] you get stuck in traffic, your phone's not working.
[24:46.600 -> 24:48.200] We don't know in the moment,
[24:48.200 -> 24:50.200] we don't have enough perspective
[24:50.200 -> 24:53.260] to know whether something is good or bad.
[24:53.260 -> 24:54.760] Only in hindsight looking back,
[24:54.760 -> 24:57.360] and sometimes we don't have even enough of that
[24:57.360 -> 24:58.760] to realize it's good or bad.
[24:59.640 -> 25:03.160] We should resist the temptation to label things
[25:03.160 -> 25:05.640] and just realize that there's going to be these things in our lives.
[25:05.640 -> 25:10.400] And the best thing that we can do is respond, be response a bull.
[25:10.960 -> 25:12.120] I like that word a lot.
[25:12.440 -> 25:15.920] Responsible is the ability to respond.
[25:16.440 -> 25:16.720] Yes.
[25:16.720 -> 25:20.000] It's also like, do I trust you with money and finances and kids?
[25:20.280 -> 25:25.640] But really what it is is if you are responseable, you are response able.
[25:25.640 -> 25:30.640] You are able to respond to life's circumstances.
[25:32.240 -> 25:35.120] This is the opposite of the victim, right?
[25:35.120 -> 25:37.920] The victim just goes, this sucks, that's terrible,
[25:37.920 -> 25:39.000] woe is me.
[25:39.000 -> 25:42.360] They have given up complete control.
[25:42.360 -> 25:48.420] They are a leaf blowing in the wind. If society or the weather or
[25:48.420 -> 25:54.940] other people, if they get a bad comment on social media, they react to it. They've lost
[25:54.940 -> 26:01.500] the ability to respond. Just like a leaf has to, has to, it's programmed to respond to
[26:01.500 -> 26:07.500] the blowing winds, this is the victim. They are victims to their circumstances.
[26:07.500 -> 26:11.700] Whereas the realist understands that they're in control.
[26:11.700 -> 26:12.900] There's going to be good and bad,
[26:12.900 -> 26:14.700] and how I respond to things actually dictate
[26:14.700 -> 26:16.300] the quality of my life.
[26:16.300 -> 26:19.100] But there's actually a level even above that.
[26:19.100 -> 26:21.500] I believe that we can all aspire to be the realist.
[26:21.500 -> 26:26.000] I think that it's inside of all of us to challenge ourselves.
[26:26.000 -> 26:29.500] That's why I said to recognize what is the narrative
[26:29.500 -> 26:30.800] running between your ears.
[26:30.800 -> 26:31.500] Yeah.
[26:31.500 -> 26:36.500] Because as we keep on going back to this New Year's resolution type thing
[26:36.500 -> 26:38.600] and as we go through this like change your life,
[26:38.600 -> 26:41.300] this is the bottom.
[26:41.300 -> 26:46.760] This is the foundational aspect of why people make change or not.
[26:46.760 -> 26:50.120] If they feel like they're not in control of their lives,
[26:50.120 -> 26:52.300] the change will not last.
[26:52.300 -> 26:56.640] You fundamentally have to believe that you are in control
[26:56.640 -> 27:00.480] and control is not the circumstances happening around you.
[27:00.480 -> 27:04.000] Control is I have the ability to respond.
[27:04.000 -> 27:06.680] I have no control over what's happening around me.
[27:06.680 -> 27:08.680] Zero control of the circumstances,
[27:08.680 -> 27:11.600] but I'm not interested in the circumstances.
[27:11.600 -> 27:13.020] That's what the victim does.
[27:13.020 -> 27:15.480] The victim doesn't look inside at all.
[27:15.480 -> 27:18.900] It's all about pointing fingers outside.
[27:18.900 -> 27:22.000] The realist, instead of pointing fingers, pulls thumbs.
[27:22.960 -> 27:24.340] It's about me.
[27:24.340 -> 27:25.240] It's about me. It's about me.
[27:25.240 -> 27:26.320] It's about my character.
[27:26.320 -> 27:31.280] It's how do I respond to these circumstances?
[27:31.280 -> 27:32.520] The level above that,
[27:32.520 -> 27:35.680] which I think is reserved for some special people.
[27:35.680 -> 27:38.840] And maybe we can taste it here and there.
[27:38.840 -> 27:42.760] And maybe we can work on it in certain circumstances
[27:42.760 -> 27:44.720] is a warrior mindset.
[27:44.720 -> 27:47.560] If you think of like a true warrior,
[27:47.560 -> 27:50.140] like a samurai back in the day,
[27:50.140 -> 27:54.040] after the samurai dominates the dojo,
[27:54.040 -> 27:58.180] the samurai leaves the comforts of his surroundings
[27:58.180 -> 28:03.180] in search of challenges, in search of a worthy foe,
[28:04.280 -> 28:08.840] in search of somebody that might be able to beat him.
[28:08.840 -> 28:12.500] He's looking for the hardship.
[28:13.480 -> 28:15.920] And say it again, this is very rare.
[28:15.920 -> 28:17.800] People that are actually, you actually like,
[28:17.800 -> 28:19.760] am I supposed to go and do the hard?
[28:19.760 -> 28:22.800] Yes, but it doesn't need to be the 20 miles in the rain.
[28:22.800 -> 28:25.600] They're searching for the hardship.
[28:25.600 -> 28:30.400] And all we need to do is recognize where that hardship is
[28:31.040 -> 28:32.880] all the time around our lives.
[28:32.880 -> 28:36.160] We are not gonna be able to avoid pain, uncertainty, and work.
[28:37.120 -> 28:40.000] It's the three things that we share as human beings,
[28:40.000 -> 28:41.440] pain, uncertainty, and work.
[28:41.440 -> 28:44.960] That's a hard reality that most of us should learn to accept.
[28:44.960 -> 28:45.080] Realist, it's coming. You're going to be in pain. You're gonna lose a loved one. pain, uncertainty, and work. That's a hard reality that most of us should learn to accept.
[28:45.080 -> 28:46.360] Realist, it's coming.
[28:46.360 -> 28:47.240] You're going to be in pain.
[28:47.240 -> 28:49.160] You're gonna lose a loved one.
[28:49.160 -> 28:50.320] There's uncertainty.
[28:50.320 -> 28:52.720] How's this business that you guys are starting,
[28:52.720 -> 28:53.600] that you're entrepreneur,
[28:53.600 -> 28:58.400] how's this business going to be in 12 months, in 18 months?
[28:58.400 -> 29:01.040] What are your, are your kids that you're raising
[29:01.040 -> 29:03.480] gonna grow up to be productive member of society
[29:03.480 -> 29:05.200] or are they gonna be derelicts?
[29:05.200 -> 29:06.500] There's uncertainty.
[29:06.500 -> 29:08.500] That's hard for us as human beings.
[29:08.500 -> 29:09.600] And work.
[29:09.600 -> 29:10.400] We need to...
[29:10.400 -> 29:12.300] How many people strive not to work?
[29:12.300 -> 29:13.500] It's insane.
[29:13.500 -> 29:15.700] Now, it's like we kind of put this like
[29:15.700 -> 29:18.200] thing of like this utopia of
[29:18.200 -> 29:20.000] there'll be a day that there's no uncertainty.
[29:20.000 -> 29:22.300] I have all my finances figured out,
[29:22.300 -> 29:24.300] that I have all my relationships figured out
[29:24.300 -> 29:26.340] and I won't have to go to the gym to
[29:26.340 -> 29:28.340] Stay healthy and nope
[29:28.580 -> 29:35.180] Nope, that's always going to be a thing that you need to do always. This is not a negative
[29:35.220 -> 29:42.280] This is a realization that huh? It's there and now I can respond to that in a productive way
[29:42.940 -> 29:45.800] The people that look like warriors
[29:45.800 -> 29:48.000] still have moments of victim mindset.
[29:48.000 -> 29:49.760] It's in all of us.
[29:49.760 -> 29:52.200] The difference is they recognize it.
[29:52.200 -> 29:53.520] That's the difference.
[29:53.520 -> 29:55.720] For people who, when you say that's just a feeling,
[29:55.720 -> 29:59.800] like feelings feel very real for people.
[29:59.800 -> 30:02.640] I can't move forward, I'm stuck, I work hard,
[30:02.640 -> 30:04.000] I have three children,
[30:04.000 -> 30:05.400] therefore I'm up 12 hours a day in the office, or my partner doesn't move forward, I'm stuck, I work hard, I have three children, therefore I'm up 12 hours a day
[30:05.400 -> 30:07.640] in the office, my partner doesn't understand me,
[30:07.640 -> 30:12.360] my friend, I've been diagnosed with something
[30:12.360 -> 30:13.760] that I didn't want to be diagnosed with,
[30:13.760 -> 30:15.200] I'm carrying trauma from my childhood,
[30:15.200 -> 30:18.520] like these things feel really real for people, don't they?
[30:18.520 -> 30:19.600] Absolutely.
[30:19.600 -> 30:22.640] I should clarify as well, there are victims in the world.
[30:22.640 -> 30:26.080] There are victims, people of atrocities
[30:26.080 -> 30:28.620] and horrific traumas and tragedies.
[30:28.620 -> 30:30.160] There are victims.
[30:31.780 -> 30:34.920] The victim mindset is different than being a victim.
[30:34.920 -> 30:35.760] Yeah.
[30:35.760 -> 30:38.560] So have you been in the place that you're describing?
[30:38.560 -> 30:39.660] I've been a victim.
[30:39.660 -> 30:40.500] Of course.
[30:40.500 -> 30:41.360] And you have too.
[30:41.360 -> 30:43.000] And we all have.
[30:43.000 -> 30:44.200] Everyone has spent time there.
[30:44.200 -> 30:47.400] Now the amount of time there that we spend.
[30:47.400 -> 30:49.840] So if you are diagnosed,
[30:49.840 -> 30:52.760] and here's the game we can start to play.
[30:52.760 -> 30:54.960] This is how we move through this.
[30:54.960 -> 30:57.680] We want to play around,
[30:57.680 -> 31:01.360] we want to train at our threshold.
[31:01.360 -> 31:04.360] So when something happens to you
[31:04.360 -> 31:06.000] that is not in line with your expectations,
[31:06.000 -> 31:07.000] this is the big one.
[31:07.000 -> 31:11.000] So you expect your day to unfold in a certain way.
[31:11.000 -> 31:18.000] You expect yourself to be, your kids to behave on the way out the door in the morning.
[31:18.000 -> 31:24.000] You expect your breakfast to be tasty and fine.
[31:24.000 -> 31:26.780] You expect to be on time for work.
[31:26.780 -> 31:30.180] You expect your boss to be happy when he sees you.
[31:30.180 -> 31:33.800] When things don't line up with your expectations.
[31:33.800 -> 31:36.800] I expect to wake up excited to go to the gym in the morning.
[31:38.140 -> 31:39.960] What happens when you're not excited
[31:39.960 -> 31:40.960] to get up in the gym in the morning?
[31:40.960 -> 31:42.280] When things don't line up-
[31:42.280 -> 31:45.600] When things don't line up with your expectations,
[31:45.600 -> 31:47.000] that should be what happened.
[31:47.000 -> 31:49.160] What's happened there is there's a trigger.
[31:50.760 -> 31:54.000] You're at breakfast and your spouse or your kid
[31:54.000 -> 31:57.180] spills coffee on you, your work clothes,
[31:57.180 -> 32:00.520] and all of your notes you did for the next podcast.
[32:00.520 -> 32:01.920] That triggers you.
[32:01.920 -> 32:04.660] It triggers you when that trigger happens,
[32:04.660 -> 32:08.320] there is a thought.
[32:08.320 -> 32:11.640] Sometimes it's subconscious, sometimes it's conscious.
[32:11.640 -> 32:14.060] If it's subconscious, it's based off of the paradigm
[32:14.060 -> 32:15.320] and the programming that you've been through
[32:15.320 -> 32:18.080] for the last, the entirety of your life.
[32:18.080 -> 32:22.200] If it's conscious, it's usually not the case.
[32:22.200 -> 32:27.520] But that thought then leads to a emotion, which is where we're coming
[32:27.520 -> 32:35.120] here. You get pissed, you get angry, you get frustrated, you get anxious, you went dot, dot,
[32:35.120 -> 32:40.480] dot. That then leads to a physiological, this is the mind, body, spirit connection we're talking
[32:40.480 -> 32:45.320] in the beginning. It leads to a physiological change in your body.
[32:45.320 -> 32:48.720] Your body changes.
[32:48.720 -> 32:51.800] Your eyes turn cone-shaped.
[32:51.800 -> 32:57.480] Your blood leaves the center of your gut for the extremities.
[32:57.480 -> 32:58.980] Epinephrine is released.
[32:58.980 -> 33:02.740] Epinephrine and cortisol is released through the bloodstream and your arteries will either
[33:02.740 -> 33:05.080] contract or expand.
[33:05.080 -> 33:05.920] Okay.
[33:05.920 -> 33:07.280] There is a physiological change.
[33:07.280 -> 33:08.120] And that's why,
[33:08.120 -> 33:12.680] what the fuck, right?
[33:12.680 -> 33:13.900] You get, what is that?
[33:13.900 -> 33:16.320] You're getting short of breath.
[33:16.320 -> 33:19.480] Chronic exposure to this leads to disease.
[33:19.480 -> 33:23.280] This is why people get sick beyond just the toxic air,
[33:23.280 -> 33:24.140] bad food.
[33:24.140 -> 33:27.440] This is the stress, chronic stress response
[33:27.440 -> 33:28.280] that happens to the body
[33:28.280 -> 33:31.200] that leads to certain forms of chronic disease.
[33:31.200 -> 33:33.680] Short-term, that's not a bad thing.
[33:33.680 -> 33:36.840] How do we make sure it's short-term?
[33:36.840 -> 33:40.520] We have an understanding that it's happening.
[33:40.520 -> 33:42.120] So what is the understanding?
[33:42.120 -> 33:49.000] Back to your point, the emotional response. When you feel the emotions bubble up,
[33:49.000 -> 33:50.840] I feel them, everyone feels them differently.
[33:50.840 -> 33:53.000] I feel it in my chest.
[33:53.000 -> 33:55.000] Some people, their stomach gets upset.
[33:55.000 -> 33:56.340] Other people feel a pain here.
[33:56.340 -> 33:57.940] Other people have tightness in their neck.
[33:57.940 -> 33:59.580] When something triggers you,
[34:01.380 -> 34:05.000] let's say you get a text from your boss on Sunday night
[34:08.840 -> 34:11.400] saying, first thing tomorrow, Monday morning,
[34:11.400 -> 34:15.000] we need to talk, right?
[34:15.000 -> 34:18.880] What happens?
[34:18.880 -> 34:20.560] All of a sudden, I can feel it right now, actually.
[34:20.560 -> 34:21.720] It's kind of weird, right?
[34:21.720 -> 34:23.160] You feel that, but right away,
[34:23.160 -> 34:25.860] you feel a physiological change.
[34:25.860 -> 34:27.300] That what happened there was,
[34:27.300 -> 34:29.580] there was a trigger, you got a text.
[34:29.580 -> 34:31.660] That caused a subconscious thought,
[34:31.660 -> 34:33.220] which caused an emotional response,
[34:33.220 -> 34:36.300] which caused something physical to manifest itself.
[34:36.300 -> 34:40.740] That recognition of that cycle happening,
[34:40.740 -> 34:45.000] it either leads to a success cycle or a sewer cycle.
[34:46.160 -> 34:50.660] You're in control of that response.
[34:50.660 -> 34:52.520] Not immediately, there's going to be something
[34:52.520 -> 34:54.520] that's built into us from a DNA perspective
[34:54.520 -> 34:58.160] that's there for survival, but us going,
[34:58.160 -> 35:00.720] whoa, that was weird.
[35:00.720 -> 35:03.040] I felt like stress.
[35:03.040 -> 35:05.920] I felt stress when that happened. I felt like stress. I felt stress when that happened.
[35:05.920 -> 35:07.920] I felt this response.
[35:07.920 -> 35:10.120] And then what we do when that happens
[35:10.120 -> 35:12.200] is we start working with the little things.
[35:12.200 -> 35:14.420] It's gonna happen when you get cut off in traffic.
[35:14.420 -> 35:16.400] Okay, someone cuts you off in traffic
[35:16.400 -> 35:18.960] and you like have this urge to give them the finger
[35:18.960 -> 35:21.060] or honk your horn or grip the steering wheel title
[35:21.060 -> 35:22.440] or go and like get this picture of your head
[35:22.440 -> 35:24.460] or like going and beating the guy up.
[35:24.460 -> 35:26.600] You go, what we should all do is go, whoa,
[35:27.100 -> 35:28.000] that's weird.
[35:28.500 -> 35:30.000] Now we have awareness.
[35:30.300 -> 35:31.800] We're not pre-programmed
[35:32.200 -> 35:34.200] and just this awareness of this
[35:34.500 -> 35:35.500] cascade,
[35:35.700 -> 35:37.500] this what used to be just happening.
[35:37.900 -> 35:40.400] Now you used to get to start to work with some of the smaller things.
[35:40.400 -> 35:41.500] Self one, self two.
[35:42.000 -> 35:45.280] Self two wants you to go to the gym because self two knows how good it's going to feel
[35:45.280 -> 35:46.120] when you have those abs.
[35:46.120 -> 35:47.520] And this is your coach.
[35:47.520 -> 35:49.320] Yes, that's the coach.
[35:49.320 -> 35:51.160] The other one is going to go,
[35:51.160 -> 35:53.800] dude, sleep in, this feels good.
[35:53.800 -> 35:54.620] Because I find that-
[35:54.620 -> 35:56.720] And then you go like, whoa, what is that?
[35:56.720 -> 35:59.120] That's weird, why are you saying that to me?
[35:59.120 -> 36:02.820] When you're at a party and someone passes the cookies,
[36:02.820 -> 36:05.080] self two is going to go, by the way,
[36:05.080 -> 36:08.320] the closer it is to the actual moment,
[36:08.320 -> 36:09.460] this is kind of weird.
[36:09.460 -> 36:11.740] The closer it is to the actual moment,
[36:11.740 -> 36:14.420] the coach gets quieter, the critics gets louder.
[36:14.420 -> 36:16.500] So when you go, and I talk to you right now,
[36:16.500 -> 36:18.460] at the next party you go to,
[36:18.460 -> 36:21.220] I want you to skip all the desserts that are being served.
[36:21.220 -> 36:22.060] You're like, cool, I can do that.
[36:22.060 -> 36:23.060] Isn't that true though?
[36:23.060 -> 36:30.320] Because right now, I think I'm going to, and then what happens is like, I'd made a plan from now on, this
[36:30.320 -> 36:34.440] is like, I'm gonna eat no crisps in the evening. And I went and played poker in my village
[36:34.440 -> 36:39.280] with some of the guys, right? It was these bowls of crisps and I ate them, right? And
[36:39.280 -> 36:43.960] then the next morning, I was really annoyed with myself. Yes, I did it. So the next morning
[36:43.960 -> 36:50.320] and the morning of it, I was really like like the coach was talking to me. But honestly in that moment I'm sitting
[36:50.320 -> 36:55.080] there having had a beer, having a game of poker, I basically hoovered two bowls and
[36:55.080 -> 36:59.080] no one else ate anything. But I'm like where did that go? And I wonder sometimes where
[36:59.080 -> 37:04.520] did that person go in that moment? Because I found that metaphor, to me it's really helpful
[37:04.520 -> 37:06.240] and I hope for listeners it is that
[37:06.240 -> 37:11.640] when you originally mentioned the critic and the coach on your shoulder, I've identified
[37:11.640 -> 37:18.600] two people that have almost personified and I want to hear more about this.
[37:18.600 -> 37:24.080] We need to become aware of when the critic is popping up and for a lot of us it's just
[37:24.080 -> 37:25.540] the default voice.
[37:25.540 -> 37:26.940] The coach is in there,
[37:26.940 -> 37:30.420] but you all were allowing is that coach to have the mega,
[37:30.420 -> 37:32.100] the critic to have the megaphone.
[37:32.100 -> 37:35.020] He has the mic, he's the one on stage,
[37:35.020 -> 37:38.480] he's the one calling the shots or she.
[37:38.480 -> 37:42.060] And the coach has been so smushed down
[37:42.060 -> 37:45.000] that he's way up in the stands
[37:45.160 -> 37:47.220] and he doesn't have a voice right now.
[37:47.220 -> 37:50.200] We just start to give the coach a voice.
[37:50.200 -> 37:53.500] And that happens not by doing the big hard things.
[37:53.500 -> 37:55.500] It happens by doing the little things,
[37:55.500 -> 37:57.640] the really little ones and going like,
[37:57.640 -> 37:59.680] Ooh, there it is.
[37:59.680 -> 38:02.920] So when that pops up, there's this awareness
[38:02.920 -> 38:06.120] and you just have to pop up out of the matrix
[38:06.120 -> 38:08.320] and go, what is going on?
[38:08.320 -> 38:11.700] This is not in line with the process
[38:11.700 -> 38:12.760] of who I want to become.
[38:12.760 -> 38:14.280] This is why it goes, characters,
[38:14.280 -> 38:17.560] goes back to think, character, process, goals.
[38:24.480 -> 38:29.800] As a person with a very deep voice, I'm hired all the time for advertising campaigns.
[38:29.800 -> 38:35.560] But a deep voice doesn't sell B2B, and advertising on the wrong platform doesn't sell B2B either.
[38:35.560 -> 38:39.600] That's why if you're a B2B marketer, you should use LinkedIn ads.
[38:39.600 -> 38:43.560] LinkedIn has the targeting capabilities to help you reach the world's largest professional
[38:43.560 -> 38:44.560] audience.
[38:44.560 -> 38:48.600] That's right, over 70 million decision makers all in one place.
[38:48.600 -> 38:54.000] All the big wigs, then medium wigs, also small wigs who are on the path to becoming big wigs.
[38:54.000 -> 38:56.120] Okay, that's enough about wigs.
[38:56.120 -> 39:00.560] LinkedIn ads allows you to focus on getting your B2B message to the right people.
[39:00.560 -> 39:05.720] So does that mean you should use ads on LinkedIn instead of hiring me, the man with the deepest
[39:05.720 -> 39:07.120] voice in the world?
[39:07.120 -> 39:09.320] Yes, yes it does.
[39:09.320 -> 39:13.840] Get started today and see why LinkedIn is the place to be, to be.
[39:13.840 -> 39:17.080] We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign.
[39:17.080 -> 39:20.320] Go to LinkedIn.com slash results to claim your credit.
[39:20.320 -> 39:22.680] That's LinkedIn.com slash results.
[39:22.680 -> 39:26.640] Terms and conditions apply.
[39:30.960 -> 39:36.880] On our podcast we love to highlight businesses that are doing things a better way so you can live a better life and that's why when I found Mint Mobile I had to share. So Mint Mobile ditched
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[41:10.400 -> 41:13.720] So I get the idea of we need to raise our awareness, but I'm really intrigued as to what tips and techniques
[41:13.720 -> 41:17.880] we can do to give ourselves that moment of pause to go,
[41:17.880 -> 41:20.080] I'm like the critics talking here,
[41:20.080 -> 41:23.040] and I want the coach to have a voice.
[41:23.040 -> 41:23.880] How do we do that?
[41:23.880 -> 41:27.880] The first is that now that we've given it is the, now that we've given it a language,
[41:27.880 -> 41:29.200] now that we've given it names,
[41:29.200 -> 41:33.120] because without language, words are very powerful.
[41:33.120 -> 41:35.880] We have to understand the power of words.
[41:35.880 -> 41:39.600] Your words, actually it's your thoughts become your words
[41:39.600 -> 41:41.180] and your words become your actions.
[41:41.180 -> 41:43.640] Your actions dictate your destiny.
[41:43.640 -> 41:45.280] So the power of the words, and we can talk about words as like, it's the words that actions dictate your destiny. So the power of the words,
[41:45.280 -> 41:46.960] and we can talk about words as like,
[41:46.960 -> 41:49.000] it's the words that are in your head.
[41:49.000 -> 41:51.600] Once you become aware of that,
[41:51.600 -> 41:54.960] now we can start playing, you're playing a game.
[41:54.960 -> 41:57.040] You're just playing a game of,
[41:57.040 -> 41:59.600] can I reframe this up to the next level?
[41:59.600 -> 42:01.800] Can I turn this from the victim woe is me?
[42:01.800 -> 42:04.000] Why am I blaming everyone else for this?
[42:04.000 -> 42:07.520] Can I just go, okay, this sucks.
[42:07.520 -> 42:09.880] It's not anyone's fault, but this just sucks.
[42:09.880 -> 42:10.960] That's a big step.
[42:10.960 -> 42:14.400] And from this sucks, can you look at it as well?
[42:14.400 -> 42:16.960] No, maybe there's some upside to this.
[42:16.960 -> 42:20.160] You reframe it from this, is this good or bad?
[42:20.160 -> 42:23.120] Can I just go like, it is what it is, which is the reality.
[42:23.120 -> 42:24.960] Anything else is storytelling.
[42:24.960 -> 42:28.860] It's just, this is what it is. I'm experiencing this guy cut me off in traffic. Okay
[42:29.580 -> 42:34.700] Someone cut me off in traffic now. I don't need to get all caught up in this
[42:34.700 -> 42:37.460] I don't need to storytell about this it happened. It's gone now
[42:37.460 -> 42:41.820] I can go on and live my life in a productive way instead of playing this movie script or something different
[42:41.820 -> 42:43.740] But you can't let people treat you like crap though
[42:43.880 -> 42:44.500] No
[42:44.500 -> 42:49.360] But what we're doing now is we're able to bring our best self to that moment.
[42:49.360 -> 42:52.980] What the rest of us do is we come in emotionally charged.
[42:52.980 -> 42:57.800] The other way to talk about this is as high level athletes, high performance is synonymous
[42:57.800 -> 42:59.760] with a flow state.
[42:59.760 -> 43:03.600] A flow state is a state of open-mindedness and non-judgment.
[43:03.600 -> 43:04.600] Pause.
[43:04.600 -> 43:10.480] Non-judgment. Pause. Non-judgment. What is anything below
[43:10.480 -> 43:19.840] a realist? Judging. We're just judging things. So focus is the gateway to flow. Flow follows
[43:19.840 -> 43:28.880] focus. So how do we get out of these weird, distracted, messy, unproductive states
[43:28.880 -> 43:34.360] that are going to lead us away from our goals? You have awareness and then you
[43:34.360 -> 43:39.520] focus. And this is where it's become so popular about breath. I
[43:39.520 -> 43:44.280] don't want to popularize. I did one year where I did about 300 days of breath
[43:44.280 -> 43:45.120] work. At least 40 minutes a day working on my breath. And I'm not saying that I don't want to publicize, I did one year where I did about 300 days of breath work,
[43:49.840 -> 43:50.560] at least 40 minutes a day working on my breath. And I'm not saying that that is the recipe. Describe breath work.
[43:52.320 -> 43:58.160] So anything from like Wim Hof to Pranayama, people have no idea what that is. Focused breathing.
[43:59.680 -> 44:07.080] It's really cool because your breath is bi-directional. We already talked about if you get stressed out,
[44:07.080 -> 44:08.920] shallow chest breathing.
[44:08.920 -> 44:10.920] That's not the way we're designed to breathe.
[44:10.920 -> 44:14.240] That leads you to the sympathetic nervous state,
[44:14.240 -> 44:15.920] which is the fight or flight.
[44:15.920 -> 44:17.680] You will not bring your best self
[44:17.680 -> 44:19.380] in a fight or flight situation.
[44:19.380 -> 44:23.720] It's designed for panic and quick reactive actions.
[44:23.720 -> 44:26.200] But you focusing on longer, deeper breaths
[44:26.200 -> 44:28.480] lowers the stress response.
[44:28.480 -> 44:32.520] It brings you back into that parasympathetic nervous system.
[44:32.520 -> 44:34.160] So what is breath work?
[44:34.160 -> 44:37.160] It's deep, slow, diaphragmatic,
[44:37.160 -> 44:38.800] meaning your diaphragm is kind of
[44:38.800 -> 44:40.000] where your ribcage meets.
[44:42.880 -> 44:44.280] So do it with me.
[44:44.280 -> 44:48.320] Let's take, so let's just take, we'll take really deep breaths.
[44:48.320 -> 44:50.960] I don't mean if in accounting, you know, everyone goes like box, breathe four
[44:50.960 -> 44:52.280] counts in for screw that.
[44:52.940 -> 44:55.320] Just take a really big breath.
[44:55.780 -> 45:00.100] And imagine you have a, an elastic band around your kind of the top ab muscles.
[45:00.160 -> 45:06.560] And again, In.
[45:08.560 -> 45:14.080] Again.
[45:16.080 -> 45:22.960] More. You can give me more.
[45:24.960 -> 45:25.200] Three breaths.
[45:25.200 -> 45:31.280] Now the reason breath work is become popular is not only the bi-directionalist part, but
[45:31.280 -> 45:33.660] it's always there.
[45:33.660 -> 45:40.640] If we get ourselves in a fragmented mind state, meaning your mind is going into defensive
[45:40.640 -> 45:43.000] mode, it's being distracted.
[45:43.000 -> 45:46.900] So to answer the question, if you feel yourself in the victim,
[45:46.900 -> 45:49.720] you feel yourself in the pessimist mind state,
[45:49.720 -> 45:51.380] what is the thing we need to do?
[45:52.620 -> 45:53.740] Focus.
[45:53.740 -> 45:55.560] Those are distracted mind states.
[45:55.560 -> 45:57.560] And what do we need to focus on?
[45:57.560 -> 45:58.980] You choose.
[45:58.980 -> 46:02.240] But don't focus on the circumstances around you.
[46:02.240 -> 46:04.040] That's gonna get you in the sewer cycle
[46:04.040 -> 46:06.520] of spinning into this storytelling.
[46:06.520 -> 46:09.920] Like you get that text Sunday night from your boss.
[46:09.920 -> 46:10.920] What do we all do?
[46:10.920 -> 46:11.920] What does he want to talk about?
[46:11.920 -> 46:12.920] Yeah.
[46:12.920 -> 46:13.920] Oh my God.
[46:13.920 -> 46:14.920] I wonder if it's about that thing.
[46:14.920 -> 46:15.920] That's extra fine.
[46:15.920 -> 46:16.920] Yeah.
[46:16.920 -> 46:17.920] I think that is probably this.
[46:17.920 -> 46:18.920] What if I get fired?
[46:18.920 -> 46:19.920] Oh my God, I'm not getting fired.
[46:19.920 -> 46:20.920] Why am I telling my wife?
[46:20.920 -> 46:22.160] It's a, that's us getting, we're not focused.
[46:22.160 -> 46:24.120] We're distracted away from the thing.
[46:24.120 -> 46:27.760] And how does doing all of this get us into the gym?
[46:27.760 -> 46:32.000] It's what gets us, let's ask it, what gets you out of the gym? What prevents you from
[46:32.000 -> 46:38.080] going to the gym today? Let's say, did you guys go to the gym today?
[46:38.080 -> 46:39.080] Nope.
[46:39.080 -> 46:40.080] Why not?
[46:40.080 -> 46:49.960] An average day, what means I don't go to the gym is, to be honest, it's like things that
[46:49.960 -> 46:55.520] crop up in that day become my priority. I don't know what it is for you.
[46:55.520 -> 47:00.800] For me, I'm not great at early starts, so I've got the kids and I need to get them up,
[47:00.800 -> 47:05.760] get them ready, and then the day takes over from itself.
[47:05.760 -> 47:09.000] The conversation I want to have is how important is it?
[47:09.000 -> 47:12.300] What you're saying is it's not important.
[47:12.300 -> 47:13.300] That's really what you're saying.
[47:13.300 -> 47:14.640] But it's urgent though, isn't it?
[47:14.640 -> 47:18.980] Like someone needs an answer that day, someone needs a response that day, or you need to
[47:18.980 -> 47:21.400] deliver something for someone on that day.
[47:21.400 -> 47:22.440] Yes, yep.
[47:22.440 -> 47:26.960] So there's always going to be something that is more urgent.
[47:26.960 -> 47:28.760] This is the Eisenhower matrix, right?
[47:28.760 -> 47:31.000] Urgent is something that's time-bound.
[47:31.000 -> 47:33.240] Something that needs to be done right now.
[47:33.240 -> 47:34.440] That is the text message,
[47:34.440 -> 47:36.200] that is the kids off to school.
[47:36.200 -> 47:38.920] Those are always going to be there.
[47:38.920 -> 47:41.080] What is physical training?
[47:41.080 -> 47:42.120] It's not urgent at all.
[47:42.120 -> 47:43.200] Like there's nobody saying like,
[47:43.200 -> 47:44.760] you have to do this thing today.
[47:44.760 -> 47:45.140] You have to get your kids off to school today. If you don't, they don't go, they're not urgent at all. Like there's nobody saying like, you have to do this thing today.
[47:45.140 -> 47:46.940] You have to get your kids off to school today.
[47:46.940 -> 47:49.500] If you don't, they're not going to school.
[47:49.500 -> 47:50.780] If you don't answer that text message today,
[47:50.780 -> 47:52.520] tomorrow's too late.
[47:52.520 -> 47:55.020] Training, it's not that at all.
[47:55.020 -> 47:58.540] We have to understand what is truly important.
[47:59.680 -> 48:01.780] And there's a difference between urgent and important.
[48:01.780 -> 48:04.400] Email is urgent, not important.
[48:04.400 -> 48:07.320] Getting your kids off to school is urgent and important. Email is urgent, not important. Getting your kids off to school is urgent and important.
[48:08.240 -> 48:11.600] It's time bound and it's important that you do that.
[48:11.600 -> 48:13.480] What ends up happening in our days
[48:13.480 -> 48:16.300] is urgency pushes out importance.
[48:16.300 -> 48:20.120] So you are now reacting to your environment
[48:20.120 -> 48:21.960] instead of controlling it.
[48:21.960 -> 48:28.640] You can, everybody can. Every single person on planet earth can
[48:29.760 -> 48:36.400] do some sort of physically capable, right? Everyone can do some sort of self-betterment,
[48:36.400 -> 48:41.600] you fill in the blank, whether that's reading, journaling, meditating, breath work, yoga,
[48:41.600 -> 48:48.000] running, CrossFit or anything else. Everybody can do some form of that every single day.
[48:48.000 -> 48:55.380] They make the choice, usually unconsciously, that something else is more important.
[48:55.380 -> 49:00.100] And what we need to do is get away from, there's a reason I wear a white bracelet, on it it
[49:00.100 -> 49:04.740] says never whine, never complain, never make excuses.
[49:04.740 -> 49:06.440] I have all these other things.
[49:07.560 -> 49:09.920] Be really clear with, this is words matter.
[49:09.920 -> 49:12.160] Be really clear with all these other things
[49:12.160 -> 49:17.160] are an excuse why we didn't do that thing instead.
[49:17.560 -> 49:19.120] So I'm thinking of one person in my life
[49:19.120 -> 49:20.580] and I'm not gonna name them, right?
[49:20.580 -> 49:22.120] But they're close to us.
[49:22.120 -> 49:25.400] They're a teacher, they work hard, they've got a kid.
[49:25.400 -> 49:30.760] They never ever do anything physical. And me and my wife are always saying to this person,
[49:30.760 -> 49:34.960] you've got to do it because if you don't find time now to be fit, you're going to have to
[49:34.960 -> 49:38.760] find time to be ill when you're, you know, in a few years time. And they say, well, I
[49:38.760 -> 49:43.920] need to get up at six. I need to make my kids lunch. I need to get my kid to school. They
[49:43.920 -> 49:46.440] work as a teacher. I've got a full day at school.
[49:46.800 -> 49:48.480] By the time I get home, I've got to make dinner.
[49:49.080 -> 49:49.840] I am knackered.
[49:51.000 -> 49:54.680] So I wouldn't know what to say to this person that makes a change.
[49:54.680 -> 49:58.240] Cause after 20 years of having a conversation with them, it hasn't changed.
[49:58.240 -> 50:00.320] And I bet there's a lot of people like that listening now.
[50:00.800 -> 50:04.360] So the conversation, I would not go about schedule.
[50:04.400 -> 50:06.400] I would not go how to, how to put this in. I would not go get schedule. I would not go how to put this in.
[50:06.400 -> 50:10.400] I would not go get up earlier. I would not say, you're not tired, go do it at the end of the
[50:10.400 -> 50:15.760] work. I wouldn't say do this on the weekends because you don't need to recover. We have to
[50:15.760 -> 50:20.480] have the conversation. You're not going to get people to change because the way you started that
[50:20.480 -> 50:26.760] was we're trying to convince them of why they need to do this, of why they need to do this.
[50:26.760 -> 50:28.280] If we live in a world of need,
[50:28.280 -> 50:30.680] we live in a world of scarcity.
[50:30.680 -> 50:32.180] We got to get them to want to.
[50:33.120 -> 50:34.800] They have to want to do this.
[50:35.680 -> 50:38.440] What if they do want to and just can't see where?
[50:38.440 -> 50:41.280] And then we need to get them, it's a big conversation.
[50:41.280 -> 50:43.600] They're not gonna be able to do it with that schedule.
[50:44.440 -> 50:46.000] Right? So how you want to
[50:46.000 -> 50:52.480] do this, tell me why. The drive has to be bigger than the things that are weighing them. People
[50:52.480 -> 51:00.960] talk a lot about their values, but what they're missing is values are not what you want. Values
[51:00.960 -> 51:05.420] are your behaviors. That's what you value.
[51:05.420 -> 51:08.060] So people go, I really value health.
[51:08.060 -> 51:10.780] I really value time with my kids,
[51:10.780 -> 51:12.540] but they work 60 hours a week,
[51:12.540 -> 51:14.800] don't train and don't see their kids.
[51:14.800 -> 51:17.580] That is not, you don't value that.
[51:17.580 -> 51:20.760] This is the conversation we need to have with your friend.
[51:20.760 -> 51:22.780] Where is health on your party list?
[51:22.780 -> 51:24.460] And she goes, it's not.
[51:24.460 -> 51:27.020] I don't care about my health, which some people don't.
[51:27.020 -> 51:29.240] We're not gonna get them to change their behaviors
[51:29.240 -> 51:32.180] based off of your wants.
[51:32.180 -> 51:34.500] They're not her needs.
[51:34.500 -> 51:36.580] We are our behaviors.
[51:36.580 -> 51:38.460] Your thoughts become your words.
[51:38.460 -> 51:40.520] Your words become your actions.
[51:40.520 -> 51:42.900] Your actions become your behaviors
[51:42.900 -> 51:45.680] and your behaviors become who you are. If
[51:45.680 -> 51:52.120] that's the case, we'd have real clear words conversation about what it is that
[51:52.120 -> 51:57.480] we want in our lives. And if she doesn't value health the way you do, it's not
[51:57.480 -> 52:05.000] going to change. Our North Star is to me more directional.
[52:05.640 -> 52:09.100] I want health, I want to be with my family,
[52:09.100 -> 52:11.440] I want peace of mind, that's what I want.
[52:11.440 -> 52:15.040] Now, the strategy I use to get there should be fluid.
[52:15.040 -> 52:18.320] Strategies should change based off of the external data
[52:18.320 -> 52:20.800] that's coming in, and we wanna be able to be flexible
[52:20.800 -> 52:22.280] with the way we approach those things.
[52:22.280 -> 52:24.160] So help us then, Ben, if anyone's listening to this
[52:24.160 -> 52:31.000] at the start and they've taken your advice of I'm not going to set a new year's resolution and make it time-bound and specific,
[52:31.000 -> 52:37.000] but I'm instead going to translate it into a North Star, how do we go about doing that?
[52:37.000 -> 52:49.280] Where does the health fit in your life? Is this really important? Because if you're saying, I want to look great on the beach, I want to be an asset to my family when I'm 90 years old,
[52:49.280 -> 52:54.280] I want to be able to ski 12 runs a day,
[52:54.600 -> 52:56.360] top to bottom in the Alps,
[52:56.360 -> 52:58.720] whatever, I wanna be able to climb this mountain,
[52:58.720 -> 53:01.400] whatever that thing is,
[53:03.800 -> 53:08.680] we have to understand why. Where does that fit into the ecosystem?
[53:08.680 -> 53:10.160] Because the things are not binary.
[53:10.160 -> 53:12.280] It's not this nice, neat little ledger.
[53:12.720 -> 53:16.480] Life is messy and life comes up and all of a sudden I have all
[53:16.480 -> 53:17.760] these things I need to do every day.
[53:18.080 -> 53:24.720] Can we just, can we say truly my big, the thing I want everyone, if I could,
[53:25.000 -> 53:25.040] I mean, truly, the thing I want everyone, if I could,
[53:30.040 -> 53:31.800] would be to everyone have kind of like the deathbed moment.
[53:36.640 -> 53:40.040] I think that the realization of death is the most powerful thing that we as human beings,
[53:40.040 -> 53:42.240] no other animals have this the way we do,
[53:42.240 -> 53:48.080] where we can prognosticate forward in terms of like, what is the feeling?
[53:48.080 -> 53:51.520] What is that feeling I wanna have on my deathbed?
[53:51.520 -> 53:55.480] And looking back on that, this is the North Star.
[53:55.480 -> 53:59.920] So my North Star is, I wanna be on my deathbed,
[53:59.920 -> 54:02.440] looking back, saying I'm so glad about the choices I made
[54:02.440 -> 54:05.100] and the way I spent my time, energy, and resources.
[54:05.100 -> 54:06.440] That's what I want.
[54:06.440 -> 54:10.640] And yes, like being successful in work is a part of that.
[54:10.640 -> 54:14.440] It is, but it's not a very big part, honestly.
[54:14.440 -> 54:18.240] The other big parts have to do with my family
[54:18.240 -> 54:23.240] and my own health, the impact I'm having outside of me.
[54:23.680 -> 54:29.200] And I realized that in order to have impact on any level,
[54:29.240 -> 54:33.240] it's not selfish for me to say, I want to go to the gym.
[54:33.240 -> 54:36.040] The most important thing I can do is fill up my own cup
[54:36.040 -> 54:38.200] so I can pour into others.
[54:38.200 -> 54:41.840] Without a full cup, without taking care of ourselves,
[54:41.840 -> 54:45.100] you can go, you can grind, you can drive,
[54:45.100 -> 54:48.060] but for a limited amount of time, gas tanks run out.
[54:48.060 -> 54:50.440] We need to pour back into ourselves.
[54:50.440 -> 54:54.240] And I believe it starts, mind, body, spirit.
[54:54.240 -> 54:57.120] I believe it actually starts with our body.
[54:57.120 -> 55:01.740] I believe that people that train consistently,
[55:01.740 -> 55:03.600] the mind follows.
[55:03.600 -> 55:06.200] And people try to, this goes full circle back to the beginning of our conversation
[55:06.200 -> 55:10.560] in terms of if you are trying to set a New Year's resolution,
[55:10.560 -> 55:13.640] if you are trying to become a better version of yourself,
[55:13.640 -> 55:17.480] if you are trying to lean out, lose weight,
[55:17.480 -> 55:19.160] feel better about yourself,
[55:20.240 -> 55:25.000] it's hard to start with just this victim pessimist.
[55:26.940 -> 55:31.100] The better thing to do is to do some hard things.
[55:31.100 -> 55:32.380] What are hard things?
[55:32.380 -> 55:36.180] Get up in the morning and go to the gym.
[55:36.180 -> 55:38.540] If you get up in the morning and go to the gym,
[55:38.540 -> 55:41.940] and by the way, I do believe morning over evening.
[55:41.940 -> 55:43.300] Because?
[55:43.300 -> 55:48.000] 430 in the morning, no one's pulling on you. 4 on you for 30 p.m. What time do you go?
[55:48.000 -> 55:54.080] I I now I get up at 6 because I've done so much research on sleep. I used to get up at 445
[55:54.720 -> 55:56.480] consistently for
[55:56.480 -> 56:02.600] 15 20 years but sleep is so important that I've realized that getting up at 6 after I walked on the school bus I
[56:03.080 -> 56:06.000] Get in the car and drive to the gym and I take a
[56:06.000 -> 56:12.080] CrossFit class six days a week. After that, I do a little bit something extra. It's something I like
[56:12.080 -> 56:19.520] to do. So bench press or may go for a run, something like that. And then I coach a class.
[56:19.520 -> 56:29.560] I coach 25 people through a CrossFit workout. And then I start my work day. That's at 10.30.
[56:29.560 -> 56:34.060] So all before that, it's about trying to like fill up my cup.
[56:34.060 -> 56:38.480] So I'm listening to that and I'm like, bloody hell, I'm not sure I could.
[56:38.480 -> 56:39.480] Knackered by 10.30.
[56:39.480 -> 56:40.480] But don't do that.
[56:40.480 -> 56:46.320] No, no, but I'm not comparing, but what I'm interested in is, like James Clear gave us a really great
[56:46.320 -> 56:50.660] quote that we regularly cite to each other of, the heaviest weight in the gym is the
[56:50.660 -> 56:51.660] front door.
[56:51.660 -> 56:52.660] Yes.
[56:52.660 -> 56:57.480] So I'm interested in that bit of, what would stop me is the idea of, this is an hour of
[56:57.480 -> 57:01.920] pain or a slog, and I'm interested in what advice you give us just to get in there and
[57:01.920 -> 57:08.400] start the process. What we need more than anything else is repetition.
[57:08.400 -> 57:11.680] And I don't mean sets of five, sets of 10, sets of 20.
[57:11.680 -> 57:13.780] What I mean is you need to show up.
[57:15.300 -> 57:18.060] Without showing, the hardest thing to do,
[57:18.060 -> 57:20.520] if you could do two things through your life,
[57:20.520 -> 57:22.000] show up and don't complain.
[57:23.680 -> 57:25.600] Show up and don't complain. Show up and don't complain.
[57:25.600 -> 57:28.680] Complaining is a telltale sign of a weak mind.
[57:28.680 -> 57:30.760] It is the language of the victim.
[57:30.760 -> 57:31.960] If you are complaining,
[57:31.960 -> 57:34.120] you're focusing on things outside of your control.
[57:34.120 -> 57:35.920] That's what's happening.
[57:35.920 -> 57:38.960] Inside of your control, you control your schedule.
[57:38.960 -> 57:40.640] It's what people don't realize.
[57:40.640 -> 57:41.480] I get it.
[57:41.480 -> 57:44.160] You, your work controls it.
[57:44.160 -> 57:46.080] Nope. You're choosing to be at that job. You're choosing to be at that job.
[57:47.500 -> 57:48.840] You're choosing to be at that job.
[57:48.840 -> 57:50.980] You don't like where you live.
[57:50.980 -> 57:53.340] You're not a tree, move.
[57:53.340 -> 57:58.340] Like you are in control of your schedule.
[57:59.100 -> 58:00.040] People go, I can't do that.
[58:00.040 -> 58:04.180] I got to, you are, you're choosing to do what you do.
[58:06.000 -> 58:14.400] So everything, once you realize that how empowering that is, you know, one is ever going to make you
[58:14.400 -> 58:21.120] eat anything ever. You're not an infant. They are not going to make you eat anything. What is
[58:21.120 -> 58:26.240] fitness? It's really about working out, training, moving, exercising,
[58:26.240 -> 58:32.880] and nutrition. You're in complete control of your health.
[58:32.880 -> 58:37.120] This is so hard though for some people, Ben, because they've been told all their lives,
[58:37.120 -> 58:40.640] and we get it all the time from the media, that we have no control. So they'll be like,
[58:40.640 -> 58:48.000] well, I've got kids to feed, I can't take a risk with my job. You know, they maybe haven't been educated about what eating healthily is.
[58:48.000 -> 58:52.040] Maybe they have, yet there is huge businesses whose job it is to solely try and make us
[58:52.040 -> 58:56.600] believe that unhealthy stuff is healthy stuff, so we get tricked into eating it, right?
[58:56.600 -> 59:01.480] The whole world is almost, it's actually almost set up against what you're saying, which is
[59:01.480 -> 59:02.960] that you have high agency.
[59:02.960 -> 59:05.400] The world wants us to believe that we have no agency at all.
[59:05.400 -> 59:07.800] And some people will listen to this sort of conversation.
[59:07.800 -> 59:10.500] You know, that's dangerous to tell people they can have control
[59:10.500 -> 59:13.300] over where they live and what they eat and the job they do.
[59:14.000 -> 59:14.700] That's unfair.
[59:14.700 -> 59:15.400] It's hard.
[59:15.600 -> 59:16.300] Yeah, for sure.
[59:16.300 -> 59:17.000] It's hard.
[59:17.200 -> 59:18.200] I'm not saying it's easy.
[59:18.300 -> 59:21.700] It's really hard to leave a job that you hate.
[59:21.700 -> 59:24.900] It's really hard to get out of a toxic relationship.
[59:30.640 -> 59:34.800] It's really hard not to blame your parents for your circumstances now. It's really hard to get up at 4 30 in the morning, go to the gym. It's really hard to be a single parent.
[59:36.400 -> 59:40.480] Cool. We already talked about this. Hardship is coming. It's there. Like we all have it.
[59:41.040 -> 59:46.780] It's going to be there. What the goal is, is not to wait for perfect.
[59:46.780 -> 59:49.680] The goal is to do what you can
[59:49.680 -> 59:52.260] with what you got right now.
[59:54.260 -> 59:55.420] That's it.
[59:55.420 -> 59:59.000] So it's just like my favorite quote,
[59:59.000 -> 01:00:01.760] because everyone waits to what you can
[01:00:01.760 -> 01:00:05.320] with what you got for where you are right now.
[01:00:05.320 -> 01:00:07.760] So when I say you have control of your life,
[01:00:07.760 -> 01:00:10.120] it's the only, let's pull it the other way.
[01:00:10.120 -> 01:00:12.240] It's so empowering because the only thing
[01:00:12.240 -> 01:00:15.940] that you have control over is how you respond to life.
[01:00:15.940 -> 01:00:18.380] That's what you have control over.
[01:00:18.380 -> 01:00:23.000] Now, no one gets to control the way you respond to life.
[01:00:23.000 -> 01:00:24.840] This is complete agency.
[01:00:24.840 -> 01:00:26.800] This is complete ownership. This is complete ownership.
[01:00:26.800 -> 01:00:32.480] This is complete responsibility. And when you do that thing, you now have the power
[01:00:32.480 -> 01:00:36.320] to change your life in any direction that you want to go.
[01:00:36.320 -> 01:00:40.720] So what's the first thing that someone who feels empowered and inspired and uplifted
[01:00:40.720 -> 01:00:42.520] from this last hour should do?
[01:00:42.520 -> 01:00:46.640] Okay, so there's gonna be two answers to that. The first one that I would recommend people do,
[01:00:46.640 -> 01:00:48.800] but not everyone can do this,
[01:00:49.520 -> 01:00:51.760] would be to go and surround yourself
[01:00:51.760 -> 01:00:52.720] with like-minded people.
[01:00:54.000 -> 01:00:56.720] If you are, join a running club,
[01:00:56.720 -> 01:00:58.080] join a CrossFit gym,
[01:00:58.080 -> 01:01:00.560] join a rucking community,
[01:01:01.520 -> 01:01:03.200] be around other people.
[01:01:07.120 -> 01:01:12.240] You want to create an environment which makes it easy for you to do these things you doing it solo every day way more challenging
[01:01:12.240 -> 01:01:16.240] now involving other people who may be yes absolutely you need to surround yourself
[01:01:17.200 -> 01:01:28.260] surround yourself with people that support you love you and want to see you win. No gossip, no drama, no toxicity, just good vibes.
[01:01:29.300 -> 01:01:31.120] Get around those people.
[01:01:31.120 -> 01:01:33.280] Now, not everybody has that opportunity
[01:01:33.280 -> 01:01:34.360] to do that tomorrow.
[01:01:35.320 -> 01:01:38.760] I think that starting tomorrow, what almost everybody,
[01:01:38.760 -> 01:01:41.380] as long as they're able-bodied, go out for a run.
[01:01:42.480 -> 01:01:44.000] Go out for a run.
[01:01:44.000 -> 01:01:48.160] And it can be a one- a run. Go out for a run. And it can be a one minute run. A one minute run
[01:01:48.160 -> 01:01:52.400] has more in common with a 10k than a zero mile run does.
[01:01:52.400 -> 01:01:57.600] I love that. But part of the reason for that though, Ben, is like, again, using that metaphor
[01:01:57.600 -> 01:02:02.400] of the critic and the coach, that the critic goes, I can't go to a gym because everyone's
[01:02:02.400 -> 01:02:05.240] fit and healthy and I'm not fit and healthy and I'm going to look stupid
[01:02:05.240 -> 01:02:06.920] and you're going to look ridiculous
[01:02:06.920 -> 01:02:08.000] and you'll make a fool of yourself
[01:02:08.000 -> 01:02:09.360] and they'll laugh at you.
[01:02:09.360 -> 01:02:13.520] Tell us about, so as the owner of a gym,
[01:02:13.520 -> 01:02:15.960] what are you seeing when somebody chooses
[01:02:15.960 -> 01:02:18.440] to come in for that first time and they're not fit,
[01:02:18.440 -> 01:02:21.080] they may be struggling, they're very self-conscious.
[01:02:21.080 -> 01:02:23.560] Yeah, that's where it comes down to the self-judgment.
[01:02:23.560 -> 01:02:26.480] Judgment is where we started this conversation off with is the biggest
[01:02:26.480 -> 01:02:29.040] distraction we all have that pulls us away from our best selves and the
[01:02:29.040 -> 01:02:32.720] highest performance is the judgment we have about ourselves. It's not so much
[01:02:32.720 -> 01:02:38.280] the judgment over other people or things which we love to do. They're wrong, that
[01:02:38.280 -> 01:02:43.540] person's right. It's the judgment we have about ourselves and I can't go that do
[01:02:43.540 -> 01:02:46.520] that thing because this this this, or that.
[01:02:46.520 -> 01:02:48.720] That is the storytelling.
[01:02:48.720 -> 01:02:52.320] When I say storytelling, what I like people to hear,
[01:02:52.320 -> 01:02:53.560] if you're telling a story,
[01:02:53.560 -> 01:02:57.320] what you're doing is you're creating a drama.
[01:02:57.320 -> 01:02:59.060] This is melodrama.
[01:02:59.060 -> 01:03:02.080] This is you being melodramatic.
[01:03:02.080 -> 01:03:05.480] This is you creating undue meaning
[01:03:05.480 -> 01:03:08.160] to things that haven't existed in your life yet,
[01:03:08.160 -> 01:03:09.440] that you're just prognosticating
[01:03:09.440 -> 01:03:11.920] that this is what's gonna happen if I go do that.
[01:03:11.920 -> 01:03:13.160] You don't know that.
[01:03:13.160 -> 01:03:15.620] And we're so concerned, so self-consumed.
[01:03:15.620 -> 01:03:16.760] This was me as an athlete,
[01:03:16.760 -> 01:03:18.600] so I can speak to it from firsthand.
[01:03:18.600 -> 01:03:20.800] I was so consumed with what I thought
[01:03:20.800 -> 01:03:22.440] other people thought of me as an athlete,
[01:03:22.440 -> 01:03:24.240] I wasn't able to perform at my peak.
[01:03:25.300 -> 01:03:26.500] It ate me up as an athlete, and wasn't able to perform at my peak. It ate me up as an athlete.
[01:03:26.500 -> 01:03:29.700] And this is where I'm so passionate about because I know when we
[01:03:29.700 -> 01:03:34.200] pull this cover off, we pull the lid off this, what can come out
[01:03:34.200 -> 01:03:34.900] of this?
[01:03:35.400 -> 01:03:39.100] If people would just allow themselves, this is the, this is the
[01:03:39.100 -> 01:03:40.800] the preventer from a flow state.
[01:03:41.500 -> 01:03:47.040] So the best example I have of this is working with Katrin who won the CrossFit Games
[01:03:47.040 -> 01:03:52.400] twice. The year before I started working with her, she lived in Iceland. She tried to qualify for the
[01:03:52.400 -> 01:03:57.920] games. She had been to the games twice. The third year she attempted, she failed. And the reason
[01:03:57.920 -> 01:04:07.580] she failed was because she was so self-conscious about her performance on the floor that it just destroyed her ability to perform.
[01:04:07.580 -> 01:04:09.080] She was all in her head.
[01:04:09.960 -> 01:04:12.160] The next year, we just stepped away completely
[01:04:12.160 -> 01:04:14.920] from the goals and everything else
[01:04:14.920 -> 01:04:18.160] and just try to put her in as much of an opportunity
[01:04:18.160 -> 01:04:20.920] to stay in flow as much as possible.
[01:04:20.920 -> 01:04:24.800] Don't, instead of judging, just be curious.
[01:04:24.800 -> 01:04:25.080] Just curiosity, what will happen if? What I wonder if, what this, as much as possible. Don't, instead of judging, just be curious.
[01:04:25.080 -> 01:04:26.240] Just curiosity.
[01:04:26.240 -> 01:04:29.600] What will happen if, what I wonder if, what this,
[01:04:29.600 -> 01:04:32.600] and she became the best I've ever seen at this.
[01:04:32.600 -> 01:04:33.820] This is what people are doing
[01:04:33.820 -> 01:04:35.460] when they think about themselves.
[01:04:35.460 -> 01:04:37.920] They visualize themselves walking into a gym.
[01:04:37.920 -> 01:04:39.080] People are gonna laugh at me.
[01:04:39.080 -> 01:04:40.080] I'm gonna be out of shape.
[01:04:40.080 -> 01:04:42.000] I'm not gonna know what I'm doing.
[01:04:42.000 -> 01:04:43.160] And I get it.
[01:04:43.160 -> 01:04:45.800] If I think about going into an MMA gym,
[01:04:45.800 -> 01:04:48.080] these are the things I tell myself,
[01:04:48.080 -> 01:04:49.640] everyone's gonna be so much tougher than me.
[01:04:49.640 -> 01:04:50.960] Everyone's gonna have so much more experience.
[01:04:50.960 -> 01:04:52.040] I'm not gonna know what I'm doing.
[01:04:52.040 -> 01:04:53.120] I'm gonna get beat up.
[01:04:53.120 -> 01:04:54.120] I'm gonna get hurt.
[01:04:55.880 -> 01:04:57.440] If I've never done that,
[01:04:57.440 -> 01:05:00.960] those are just, they're just false manifestations.
[01:05:00.960 -> 01:05:03.140] It's a story we're telling ourselves.
[01:05:04.040 -> 01:05:10.320] The thing that we wanna be able to do is recognize when that's happening. So back to this awareness thing. If we're
[01:05:10.320 -> 01:05:18.080] saying to ourselves these things that aren't necessarily truths, what are we doing? We're
[01:05:18.080 -> 01:05:23.680] taking ourself away from being able to perform at our best. It's not about anything else
[01:05:23.680 -> 01:05:25.620] other than go do the best
[01:05:25.620 -> 01:05:26.700] you can with what you got.
[01:05:26.700 -> 01:05:27.540] I love it.
[01:05:27.540 -> 01:05:29.780] It's been a real privilege and I hopefully that people
[01:05:29.780 -> 01:05:32.980] listening to this can get away from the idea of thinking
[01:05:32.980 -> 01:05:37.060] it's got to be about working hard and struggling
[01:05:37.060 -> 01:05:39.860] and sacrifice and actually just start to see that we can all
[01:05:39.860 -> 01:05:42.180] change our mindset to change our results.
[01:05:42.180 -> 01:05:44.980] And maybe to get back to the original kind of ethos
[01:05:44.980 -> 01:05:45.000] of the conversation, which is, you know, how do people change and. And maybe to get back to the original kind of ethos
[01:05:45.000 -> 01:05:46.480] of the conversation, which is, you know,
[01:05:46.480 -> 01:05:47.320] how do people change
[01:05:47.320 -> 01:05:49.320] and how do people get consistent going to the gym?
[01:05:49.320 -> 01:05:52.500] The biggest thing I could do is allow yourself
[01:05:52.500 -> 01:05:54.920] to be non-judgmental.
[01:05:54.920 -> 01:05:56.680] That really is the thing,
[01:05:56.680 -> 01:06:00.800] is that if it's your mentality that's preventing you,
[01:06:00.800 -> 01:06:02.660] I really think there's like two blockers.
[01:06:02.660 -> 01:06:05.040] There's either the mentality of the people,
[01:06:05.040 -> 01:06:06.520] I'm gonna be judged when I walk in there,
[01:06:06.520 -> 01:06:09.400] or there's the people that have the too busy schedule.
[01:06:09.400 -> 01:06:12.720] Those are really the two big hurdles
[01:06:12.720 -> 01:06:15.600] that we have to get over.
[01:06:15.600 -> 01:06:17.480] Identifying which of those two,
[01:06:17.480 -> 01:06:20.000] and we might think it's one, but it's actually the other.
[01:06:20.000 -> 01:06:21.620] It might be the mental thing,
[01:06:21.620 -> 01:06:24.280] but you're over scheduling yourself
[01:06:24.280 -> 01:06:27.220] to make sure that you don't have to face that demon.
[01:06:27.220 -> 01:06:30.580] Understanding which of those two that we need to hop over
[01:06:30.580 -> 01:06:32.600] to get to the other side is really powerful.
[01:06:32.600 -> 01:06:34.940] Is it type of thing where I have to truly ask myself,
[01:06:34.940 -> 01:06:37.720] where does health, wellness, and fitness live
[01:06:37.720 -> 01:06:41.280] as part of the value system of me as a person?
[01:06:42.360 -> 01:06:44.240] Look, before we move on to our quickfire questions,
[01:06:44.240 -> 01:06:46.360] I just want to ask really, like how you're
[01:06:46.360 -> 01:06:50.840] feeling in this transitional period because you've gone from, you know, let's be honest,
[01:06:50.840 -> 01:06:56.120] right, CrossFit is the ultimate test of an athlete and you coached the ultimate athletes
[01:06:56.120 -> 01:07:01.960] in the CrossFit games, 10 winners, 19 podium finishes, you know, hundreds of athletes have
[01:07:01.960 -> 01:07:05.520] competed in the CrossFit games at various times who you've coached.
[01:07:10.720 -> 01:07:16.080] Now you've totally changed tack, you know, you've retired as a coach from CrossFit Games, you've created an app for people like me and Damian, regular Joes, just to feel like we can get closer
[01:07:16.080 -> 01:07:22.160] to where we want to be. So I'm really interested in, like, where you're at now because you're no
[01:07:22.160 -> 01:07:30.680] longer sitting across a table from someone with an unbelievable six pack, a rock steady mentality, a deep understanding of fitness,
[01:07:30.680 -> 01:07:37.640] and you're trying to get people wracked with self-doubt, fear, full diaries, busy lives
[01:07:37.640 -> 01:07:39.680] to go on this journey.
[01:07:39.680 -> 01:07:41.480] Yeah.
[01:07:41.480 -> 01:07:45.380] I'm extremely passionate about this new endeavor that I'm going on,
[01:07:45.380 -> 01:07:46.920] mostly because it goes back full circle
[01:07:46.920 -> 01:07:49.920] to the original pursuit that I started this whole thing with.
[01:07:49.920 -> 01:07:52.600] When I left finance,
[01:07:52.600 -> 01:07:54.720] when I decided to leave my job
[01:07:54.720 -> 01:07:56.840] that I was feeling unfulfilled,
[01:07:56.840 -> 01:07:58.540] the question I asked myself was,
[01:07:59.420 -> 01:08:00.260] which by the way,
[01:08:00.260 -> 01:08:03.440] the leaving that there was a real trigger moment.
[01:08:03.440 -> 01:08:04.800] It was 9-11.
[01:08:04.800 -> 01:08:08.560] When 9-11 happened, you happened, the planes left Boston.
[01:08:08.560 -> 01:08:10.720] It was very close to home.
[01:08:10.720 -> 01:08:12.000] When that happened,
[01:08:12.000 -> 01:08:14.520] I realized I wanted more impact in my life.
[01:08:14.520 -> 01:08:17.200] I wanted to help.
[01:08:17.200 -> 01:08:18.960] I didn't know what way I wanted to help,
[01:08:18.960 -> 01:08:20.280] but I thought about joining the military,
[01:08:20.280 -> 01:08:22.420] thought about becoming a firefighter,
[01:08:22.420 -> 01:08:25.300] but eventually decided on being a trainer and a coach.
[01:08:25.300 -> 01:08:28.180] I thought that was a way that I could have real impact
[01:08:28.180 -> 01:08:29.540] in a real healthy way,
[01:08:29.540 -> 01:08:30.720] probably more so than being a soldier
[01:08:30.720 -> 01:08:33.580] and going, potentially killing people.
[01:08:33.580 -> 01:08:36.020] The fire thing just was too much red tape to walk through
[01:08:36.020 -> 01:08:38.880] and I could do the training thing now.
[01:08:38.880 -> 01:08:43.880] Well, that just kind of spiraled on itself
[01:08:48.000 -> 01:08:52.280] to where all of a sudden I found CrossFit, started competing in CrossFit, started training high level athletes, started getting some top 10
[01:08:52.280 -> 01:08:53.840] athletes, started winning the games.
[01:08:53.840 -> 01:08:58.680] And like, oh my gosh, this thing kind of just went and went and went.
[01:08:58.680 -> 01:09:01.160] I was incredibly passionate about that at the time.
[01:09:01.160 -> 01:09:05.040] I dedicated 15 years of my life to coaching at the highest, highest level.
[01:09:13.280 -> 01:09:19.520] Now that I've seen what it takes to achieve incredible results and the ups and downs and the best methods and how you combine eating, sleeping, and training and the mindset aspect
[01:09:19.520 -> 01:09:25.000] to this, the ability to bring that back to everyday Joes and Janes
[01:09:25.340 -> 01:09:28.220] and do it with some firepower and understanding
[01:09:28.220 -> 01:09:31.200] of how to do this in a really effective way
[01:09:31.200 -> 01:09:33.220] is really exciting for me.
[01:09:33.220 -> 01:09:35.220] And now what we've done is created an app
[01:09:35.220 -> 01:09:36.800] that does just that.
[01:09:36.800 -> 01:09:39.140] It teaches you about, so the question is like,
[01:09:39.140 -> 01:09:41.000] how do we identify certain mindsets?
[01:09:41.000 -> 01:09:42.700] How do we come stronger between the ears?
[01:09:42.700 -> 01:09:44.860] How do we have more discipline?
[01:09:44.860 -> 01:09:47.960] That's built into the app. Every day I get on there and talk to you
[01:09:47.960 -> 01:09:53.580] about kind of very daily stoic-esque about mindset. And then there's a daily
[01:09:53.580 -> 01:09:57.120] training component to it about and I realize that not everyone has eight
[01:09:57.120 -> 01:10:00.840] hours to train in the gym like these elite athletes. So it asks you how much
[01:10:00.840 -> 01:10:06.440] time do you have to train in the day? And whether you have 30 minutes or two plus hours,
[01:10:06.440 -> 01:10:07.860] the training will adjust to give you
[01:10:07.860 -> 01:10:10.600] the most impactful training session you can have.
[01:10:10.600 -> 01:10:14.640] So what I wanna do is be able to give people,
[01:10:14.640 -> 01:10:17.700] I wanna impact people in a health and fitness
[01:10:17.700 -> 01:10:20.320] and fulfillment and mindset way
[01:10:20.320 -> 01:10:22.680] that probably wasn't available before
[01:10:22.680 -> 01:10:24.740] because there's reserve just for these people
[01:10:24.740 -> 01:10:29.080] that had these coaches and these ecosystems set up for
[01:10:29.080 -> 01:10:30.880] just only for the best of the best.
[01:10:30.880 -> 01:10:31.720] It's great.
[01:10:31.720 -> 01:10:34.200] And that's the epitome of the warrior mindset.
[01:10:34.200 -> 01:10:36.640] That's your fifth, as you've just described it,
[01:10:36.640 -> 01:10:39.680] that fifth stage of going searching out new challenges
[01:10:39.680 -> 01:10:41.560] is exactly where you are.
[01:10:41.560 -> 01:10:42.720] Ready for some quick fire questions?
[01:10:42.720 -> 01:10:43.560] Let's go.
[01:10:43.560 -> 01:10:52.040] Okay, the three non-negotiable behaviors that you and the people around you should buy into. Well, I
[01:10:52.040 -> 01:10:55.120] don't know so much as if they're their behaviors, but I think that this is important that we
[01:10:55.120 -> 01:11:02.760] kind of right away, it's not quick fire. I've failed already. But at the tail of this conversation,
[01:11:02.760 -> 01:11:05.920] I really believe that awareness, intention, action.
[01:11:05.920 -> 01:11:07.640] I believe that those are the three guiding principles
[01:11:07.640 -> 01:11:09.480] that should drive all of us.
[01:11:09.480 -> 01:11:11.160] Awareness, in terms of the mindset,
[01:11:11.160 -> 01:11:12.500] what is holding me back?
[01:11:12.500 -> 01:11:13.560] What do I want in my life?
[01:11:13.560 -> 01:11:15.000] What are my values?
[01:11:15.000 -> 01:11:16.840] Intention, how am I gonna go do that thing?
[01:11:16.840 -> 01:11:17.720] What is the strategy?
[01:11:17.720 -> 01:11:18.560] How am I gonna do that?
[01:11:18.560 -> 01:11:22.000] Action, nothing matters until you actually take action.
[01:11:22.000 -> 01:11:23.940] You have to do the thing.
[01:11:23.940 -> 01:11:25.840] So if we navigate our lives
[01:11:25.840 -> 01:11:27.760] with awareness, intention, and action,
[01:11:27.760 -> 01:11:29.960] we will end up where we want to end up.
[01:11:29.960 -> 01:11:30.800] Great.
[01:11:30.800 -> 01:11:32.840] If you could go back to any moment of your life,
[01:11:32.840 -> 01:11:35.000] what would it be and why?
[01:11:35.000 -> 01:11:37.400] So, the true answer is I wouldn't.
[01:11:37.400 -> 01:11:39.160] I wouldn't go back.
[01:11:39.160 -> 01:11:42.320] I don't believe in going back and try to relive.
[01:11:42.320 -> 01:11:44.440] I'm all about now, the present.
[01:11:44.440 -> 01:11:46.020] Actually, it's a weird, maybe, some people would see it as relive. I'm all about now the present actually it's a weird maybe
[01:11:46.540 -> 01:11:48.820] Some people would see it as a negative. I see as a superpower
[01:11:48.820 -> 01:11:51.780] I don't have a very strong memory in terms of I just want to like I
[01:11:52.360 -> 01:11:55.300] Can't tell you what year certain things happened. I just want to be here
[01:11:56.020 -> 01:11:58.560] Having said that to play the game and answer your question
[01:11:58.560 -> 01:12:03.560] One of the really exciting points of my life was what we just talked about which was I started my business
[01:12:04.280 -> 01:12:09.400] starting your business is such a thrilling point in your life.
[01:12:09.400 -> 01:12:13.480] And maybe that's why I'm doing this thing again, is I'm starting this new business venture
[01:12:13.480 -> 01:12:24.760] because when I started being, I started as a coach in homes and then for a globo gym
[01:12:24.760 -> 01:12:26.540] and then strength and then for a globo gym and then strength fishing for
[01:12:27.560 -> 01:12:34.760] School when I left that and take that took the leap of getting a facility getting a gym hiring coaches
[01:12:35.940 -> 01:12:41.400] Again, it pulls you so far into that present moment. It's like you're just focused on the next thing in front of you
[01:12:41.400 -> 01:12:49.600] Yeah, it's such an exciting time in your life. Love that. So what advice would you give to a teenage Ben just starting out?
[01:12:49.600 -> 01:12:56.960] It'd be what we've talked quite a bit about which is don't... when you feel then I'm
[01:12:56.960 -> 01:13:01.480] gonna say I'm like say don't because you're going to. When you feel the
[01:13:01.480 -> 01:13:05.000] desire to judge yourself, let it go.
[01:13:05.340 -> 01:13:07.060] You don't need to do that.
[01:13:07.060 -> 01:13:08.580] You don't need to play that game.
[01:13:08.580 -> 01:13:11.060] It's going to still happen, but don't hold onto it.
[01:13:11.060 -> 01:13:11.900] Just let it go.
[01:13:13.900 -> 01:13:16.220] How important is legacy to you?
[01:13:16.220 -> 01:13:18.180] Depends on what you mean by legacy.
[01:13:18.180 -> 01:13:21.540] If legacy is me being remembered after I'm gone,
[01:13:22.820 -> 01:13:24.380] pretty close to zero.
[01:13:24.380 -> 01:13:25.880] If it's the impact I have on people while I'm here, so that while I'm gone, pretty close to zero. If it's the impact I have on
[01:13:25.880 -> 01:13:29.840] people while I'm here, so that when I'm gone they've transformed into something
[01:13:29.840 -> 01:13:32.320] better, that's what I'm trying to dedicate my life to.
[01:13:32.320 -> 01:13:37.400] Nice. And finally Ben, what's your one golden rule for anyone wanting to live a
[01:13:37.400 -> 01:13:42.240] high-performance life? Do what you can with what you got for where you are. Man,
[01:13:42.240 -> 01:13:45.520] I've loved that. So thank you. Thank you guys, really appreciate it.
[01:13:45.520 -> 01:13:55.560] Damien. Jake. I think the one question that I'm gonna take away is who am I listening to,
[01:13:55.560 -> 01:14:01.000] the critic or the coach on my shoulder, which voice is the loudest, the person that sits there
[01:14:01.000 -> 01:14:05.880] saying what do you think you're doing, you're not good enough to do this. Why are you wasting your time?
[01:14:05.880 -> 01:14:08.280] Or the person that goes, just give it a go.
[01:14:08.280 -> 01:14:10.040] Just take a small step.
[01:14:10.040 -> 01:14:12.520] Just try your best in this moment.
[01:14:12.520 -> 01:14:15.520] And I think that's all that we need to do
[01:14:15.520 -> 01:14:17.400] just to raise our awareness
[01:14:17.400 -> 01:14:19.640] as to which voice we're listening loudest to.
[01:14:19.640 -> 01:14:24.280] And if we're listening to this at the start of a new year,
[01:14:24.280 -> 01:14:26.000] if that's what we can take away from it,
[01:14:26.000 -> 01:14:28.000] of who's going to be the loudest voice,
[01:14:28.000 -> 01:14:31.000] who's going to accompany us in the year ahead,
[01:14:31.000 -> 01:14:33.000] our critic or our coach.
[01:14:33.000 -> 01:14:36.000] I love the idea of hard and easy decisions.
[01:14:36.000 -> 01:14:38.000] You know, like where we're recording this today,
[01:14:38.000 -> 01:14:40.000] there's some nice salads outside,
[01:14:40.000 -> 01:14:42.000] there's also some cookies.
[01:14:42.000 -> 01:14:44.000] Are we going to make the hard call,
[01:14:44.000 -> 01:14:46.040] which is to ignore the cookies and not eat them
[01:14:46.040 -> 01:14:48.320] because they're actually not taking us into a good place?
[01:14:48.320 -> 01:14:51.720] Are we going to eat the salad the same with our alarm clock the same?
[01:14:51.720 -> 01:14:59.080] So I love this idea of trying to embrace some of the hard stuff in the year ahead.
[01:14:59.080 -> 01:15:02.720] And I think it's also important that you and I don't sit here as like two people that don't
[01:15:02.720 -> 01:15:03.720] need to hear this stuff.
[01:15:03.720 -> 01:15:08.480] That is game-changing messages for us, I think, as much as anyone else.
[01:15:08.480 -> 01:15:13.000] Massively. You know, like when Ben was asking us, well, why don't you exercise every day?
[01:15:13.000 -> 01:15:18.040] And I could hear our excuses coming out and suddenly when you articulate them, they sound
[01:15:18.040 -> 01:15:24.000] awfully, awfully lame. You know, and again, yeah, there's certainly no putting ourselves
[01:15:24.000 -> 01:15:25.080] on a pedestal claiming
[01:15:25.080 -> 01:15:29.360] we've got the answers, we don't, but we're in that curious state of speaking to people
[01:15:29.360 -> 01:15:33.960] like Ben that do have the answers and it's as illuminating for us as hopefully it is
[01:15:33.960 -> 01:15:35.600] for anyone listening.
[01:15:35.600 -> 01:15:39.080] And also I love this idea of holding yourself to high standards, like you and I could easily
[01:15:39.080 -> 01:15:42.480] say yeah, I do exercise, do a bit of running, do a bit of this, do a bit of that, but look
[01:15:42.480 -> 01:15:43.480] at us both.
[01:15:43.480 -> 01:15:48.160] No, in all seriousness, people don't look at us and go, pfft, pair of athletes.
[01:15:48.160 -> 01:15:49.900] So then it's like, well are we doing enough?
[01:15:49.900 -> 01:15:50.900] Are we doing it to the right level?
[01:15:50.900 -> 01:15:51.900] Are we doing it to the right intensity?
[01:15:51.900 -> 01:15:56.160] Or are we basically bullshitting ourselves that we're doing enough?
[01:15:56.160 -> 01:15:57.160] Probably the latter.
[01:15:57.160 -> 01:15:58.660] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.
[01:15:58.660 -> 01:16:03.020] I think, I love those five stages that you spoke about, the five mindsets.
[01:16:03.020 -> 01:16:08.080] You can be the victim, you can be the pessimist or the optimist, but then you get into the realist and then the
[01:16:08.080 -> 01:16:13.760] warrior mindset. I think when we look at it, we're probably at that optimist mindset.
[01:16:13.760 -> 01:16:16.640] That's what I was going to say. That's where I am.
[01:16:16.640 -> 01:16:19.840] I think it'll be alright tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll be a better athlete, tomorrow I'll eat
[01:16:19.840 -> 01:16:23.520] better. Doesn't matter anyway. But are we going to start?
[01:16:23.520 -> 01:16:25.000] Let's start being realist.
[01:16:25.000 -> 01:16:27.000] I think it's time. Love that conversation.
[01:16:27.000 -> 01:16:28.000] Thanks, mate. Loved it.
[01:16:30.000 -> 01:16:34.000] Look, I hope you loved that conversation. Do you know what? Send me a message, please.
[01:16:34.000 -> 01:16:39.000] Hit me up, LinkedIn, Instagram, DM me on Twitter. I don't mind how you get in touch with me.
[01:16:39.000 -> 01:16:43.000] I would just love to hear from you. I'd love to know what you thought of that conversation with Ben.
[01:16:43.000 -> 01:16:47.120] I just thought it was fantastic. And if you want even more, don't forget you can download the High Performance
[01:16:47.120 -> 01:16:51.920] app. You can watch these conversations on YouTube. And if you hit subscribe on any platform
[01:16:51.920 -> 01:16:56.000] and subscribe to High Performance, it's a game changer for us. So please do what you
[01:16:56.000 -> 01:16:59.560] can to support these conversations that we're having so we can keep on bringing them for
[01:16:59.560 -> 01:17:05.000] you. Listen, I wish you all the best. Remain humble, curious, and empathetic.
[01:17:05.000 -> 01:17:07.000] And I'll see you soon.
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